How Self-Deprecation Leads to Isolation ft. ObesetoBeast

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HealthyGamerGG

HealthyGamerGG

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 263
@ObesetoBeast
@ObesetoBeast 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks so much Dr. K. It was a great talk and super eye opening, you are the man 🙏🏼
@CodeNameG_
@CodeNameG_ 4 жыл бұрын
Today is the first time I've heard of you. No worries though, that's how I am with most people who come on Healthy Gamer. Found this channel through a video series between Dr. K and Reckful who I knew as a Hearthstone streamer years ago. Just wanted to say thanks for taking the time to do this and for being honest publicly. It can be scary to open up to people about our own problems and doing it publicly is even a step beyond that. I relate to you so much on not wanting to burden anyone else with my own issues. You do sound like a healthy individual overall and hopefully you know you're appreciated.
@coldncursed8724
@coldncursed8724 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for doing it ObesetoBeast, I've learned so much about myself through hearing this today and I'm hoping to try and use some of the knowledge/advice to improve my own troubles.
@HealthyGamerGG
@HealthyGamerGG 4 жыл бұрын
Thank YOU for coming on
@skizofrenik2552
@skizofrenik2552 4 жыл бұрын
T0dAy i wAs 0n A wAlK t0 tHe PizZa LaNd aNd AtE tHiS P3rS0n 0uTsIdE tHe P1zZa LaNd BeCaUsE i WaS HuNkRy.
@janetdavies5686
@janetdavies5686 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for showing up with such honesty and authenticity John. Before you said anything about it I wondered if you were dyslexic/dysgraphic - what you said about multiplication pricked my ears because it’s often a challenging areas for dyslexic/dysgraphic kids. While I’ve never been assessed as having it, I reckon I do, my 13 yr old son has both. It’s tough and so much of what you said resonated about feelings of being stupid - and even when given help, it made you feel even worse. I know he often feels that way. I remember feeling much the same way in my school days but there was no help. Spent much of my life feeling like I was dumb and couldn’t learn. It wasn’t that I couldn’t learn or that I was dumb, I just learnt differently - and the education system has little to know idea. my son is worried about his weight and I know in time he will get fitter as he grows but much is driven by how badly he feels about his inability to learn the same way as his peers and his highly academic sister. The world needs young men like you to keep doing what you’re doing! 🙏🏽
@jouniosmala9921
@jouniosmala9921 4 жыл бұрын
One thing for people who think they are bad at math. Math isn't just one skill, but multiple skills. But not only that, but the skills build on top of one another. So if you get the flu and miss some classes, in the next class you don't have any idea what the teacher is talking about and get far less from it than people who learned the previous concepts. I once helped someone who was almost failing to get an average grade which was two grades above her personal average. All it took was identifying skills that were in curriculum years before that she lacked and were required to solve that course's calculations and teaching those in that evening. And if someone would have helped her earlier, she would have gotten decent grades all the time when that skill was required but she didn't have it.
@emmaGisMe
@emmaGisMe 3 жыл бұрын
This is helpful for me, thanks for sharing. I've been confused about my math skills particularly because I struggle to do simple everyday mental calculations but I've been at the top of my math class in high school with the right teacher, one of those years I failed math because I missed a class and it spiraled.
@skirmishcustoms2595
@skirmishcustoms2595 2 жыл бұрын
Hey it's been a year but how can I fix this myself? Any resources you recommend for someone barely hanging on to algebra 2 and pre calc?
@leg912
@leg912 Жыл бұрын
Could you tell what skills are needed in math? I'm in highschool, and this could really help my math woes.
@SarahDidds
@SarahDidds 4 жыл бұрын
Jon helped me lose just over 100lbs I came home after an eye opening visit to the doctor and headed to google for weight loss advice, his videos came up and I've watched him ever since, I literally owe him my life.
@AXharoth
@AXharoth 4 жыл бұрын
@NikHem343
@NikHem343 10 ай бұрын
I’m reading this 3 years later. Wondering how you’re doing if you don’t mind me asking
@Ilikebigbums100
@Ilikebigbums100 4 жыл бұрын
"that crying is useless" That hit hard...
@Kyrmana
@Kyrmana 4 жыл бұрын
Yes.
@himurakyouma
@himurakyouma 4 жыл бұрын
i rly felt that, made me tear up
@TheDarkfire216
@TheDarkfire216 3 жыл бұрын
ok cool, it wasn't just me who felt like I got pistol whipped by a semi truck? Good, cause that was heavy as fuck when I heard that.
@elektrotehnik94
@elektrotehnik94 3 жыл бұрын
It's how I grew up. "The baby that didn't cry" was me, and it put how I instinclty deal with emotions to this day in perspective. It's hard to trust others that they'll be there for you, the cognitive bias to think they won't is strong.
@tracylh
@tracylh 4 жыл бұрын
You are just beautiful... you are so brave to do this... I am 57 years old ... and I’m learning so much from you ... 20 minutes into this even!! I love you both so much.
@roa7587
@roa7587 4 жыл бұрын
Love to see that another generation can discover Dr K, hope you stay a while :)
@AXharoth
@AXharoth 4 жыл бұрын
wow thats crazy , not only youngsters watch dr k ^^
@Furiac.
@Furiac. 4 жыл бұрын
It's so cool when you hear multiple guests talk about a problem that they think only they have
@luckylifer5174
@luckylifer5174 4 жыл бұрын
This interview has modeled my life EXACTLY. It's extremely uncanny how accurate every single thing you guys talked about was. To Dr K/healthy gamer squad and obesetobeast, this video proves that even by talking to one another, you are giving therapy to others watching. Thank you, you've made an impact in my life.
@BruceKarrde
@BruceKarrde 4 жыл бұрын
While you are unique, you will find out most of your issues, struggles and challenges are not. I hope that will lower your resistance to talk about stuff with a professional or a good coach.
@abmstudio3678
@abmstudio3678 Жыл бұрын
AOE healing.
@Faceless1997zNipe
@Faceless1997zNipe 4 жыл бұрын
Everytime after watching another vid of Dr K, i get this feeling i have every problem that the interviewed persons got combined in me
@cat4luny4
@cat4luny4 4 жыл бұрын
at least we have healthygamer to improve even though we wont get the chance to speak with dr.K personally
@spencechan
@spencechan 4 жыл бұрын
@@cat4luny4 (I may be reading too much into this) Dr. K is a really good psychologist who has a better understanding than most of "gamer culture". That said, (as he has said a few times) he is not the only psychologist capable of helping any one of us. If you feel like one-on-one interaction with a therapist could help you, I fully encourage you to look into local options. Speaking from experience, don't give up on doing something that could help you, just because you can't do exactly the way you want to.
@citus333
@citus333 4 жыл бұрын
Me too but minus the successful people problems. Like I sure would love to have those problems atleast it kinda meant i achieved something.
@AXharoth
@AXharoth 4 жыл бұрын
we all have these problems
@shortblokej
@shortblokej 7 ай бұрын
Hah! Glad its not just me! I love experiencing the crap from different angles and perspectives - it has really helped me to get a handle on how I interact internally and with the world. Great job Dr. K and team and all the participants in this (including me! 😁)
@joreecollins7267
@joreecollins7267 4 жыл бұрын
I learned to never go crying to mom or dad, and the sitting with my feelings thing hits home. this is in light of me cutting my mom out of my life due to complications with our relationship
@Finkeldinken
@Finkeldinken 4 жыл бұрын
Aww, putting on mascara and then watching a Dr. K interview was such a rookie move. Good talk, good talk. Amazing work John.
@joppekim
@joppekim 4 жыл бұрын
Being an ex obese person myself I so much appreciate this talk. Everything resonated, How I lost weight but the mental problems were still there, how I had resentment over my mother and father, and how I try to make people feel comfortable around me rather than admitting that they wronged me in some way. This was exactly what I needed!
@Kugo
@Kugo 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for these videos and interviews guys...means a lot 💪
@elektrotehnik94
@elektrotehnik94 3 жыл бұрын
I just can't believe how many people I consider awesome gravitate to Dr. K... Nice to see you were here Kugo
@coollary1
@coollary1 4 жыл бұрын
This is the most relatable session so far for me. I can relate to John so much. Same shitty pass same self hatred. I guess I need to notice my actions more. And see when I’m losing it.
@TheRealNickG
@TheRealNickG 4 жыл бұрын
No doubt. Especially the part where it feels like the kid you used to be lives rent free and takes over at bad times in front of the wrong people.
@AngelSanchez-bm4eq
@AngelSanchez-bm4eq 4 жыл бұрын
This was a crossover I didn’t expect but one that I needed
@littlecurrybread
@littlecurrybread 4 жыл бұрын
I’m seeing my first therapist after watching your videos, Dr K, it’s changing my life . You’re the best!
@pix3lle375
@pix3lle375 4 жыл бұрын
YESSS friend that's awesome I hope it went well
@FeamT
@FeamT 4 жыл бұрын
Loved the conversation. John seems like a perfect fit for this channel, really introspective and focused on self-improvement but also dedicated to helping people who struggle with the same issues. And great at telling his stories and explaining himself, too! Awesome guy to learn from and learn about.
@carlislehuntington8673
@carlislehuntington8673 4 жыл бұрын
Now that I’m a college graduate and no longer have free therapy through my university, these videos really help fill a void. I see so many things that I learned with my former therapist come up in these interview and it feels really good to reinforce those lessons and check myself that I’m still doing the work of reflection and self care. So happy to have discovered this channel!
@bellagarzia9653
@bellagarzia9653 4 жыл бұрын
The protecting parents thing is so true. My family recently hit some financial troubles, and i just turned 18. So I made it clear to my parents while they may have to worry about my brothers they don’t have to worry about me anymore.
@AndrewOfEarth97
@AndrewOfEarth97 4 жыл бұрын
Damn... I didn't imagine I would be crying today. This convo hits so much home.
@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203
@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203 4 жыл бұрын
You're a sensitive man. Sensitive men get offended really easily and blame others for their failures. You better change that
@AndrewOfEarth97
@AndrewOfEarth97 4 жыл бұрын
@@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203 you are a very judgemental person. You should really look into yourself and change that
@michaelspence3097
@michaelspence3097 4 жыл бұрын
Griffith Uchiha what’s wrong with being a emotional man? Literally nothing..Andrew you do you man👍 I’ve cried from plenty of dr.k’s sessions it’s supposed to be eye opening and emotional that’s why we watch it.
@rujaja9176
@rujaja9176 4 жыл бұрын
@@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203 stfu
@kempakarlsson
@kempakarlsson 4 жыл бұрын
@@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203 And you're a terrible person
@JmonVids
@JmonVids 4 жыл бұрын
This has been one of the best interviews I've seen on the channel. Thank you John for being so open.
@estract1
@estract1 4 жыл бұрын
This is so weird for me, I'm fat, my mom was a addict and my father was absent. The difference is both of them are dead so I don't have someone to forgive, just sad and distant memories.
@wearejungians
@wearejungians 4 жыл бұрын
Dr.K specifically said that you don't need to talk to them to forgive them. The talk will definitely help but you can still talk to their spirits in a way. It sounds super woo woo but I feel like it'd be something that could really help you overcome at least a small portion of the feelings you feel. Just a thought mate. Hope you get help :)
@linojvni2038
@linojvni2038 Жыл бұрын
probably the most personaly resonant video in this channel for me
@Sassineri
@Sassineri 3 жыл бұрын
I’ve watched John for a few years now and 29:00 i fucking bawled. Fat kid in the basement who doesnt know multiplication. Thats just so heartwrenching.
@taylorbosier
@taylorbosier 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for coming on ObeseToBeast and thanks Dr.K for doing these. This one in particular has really pulled the gauze off the gaping hole and I'm gonna go find myself a therapist. Thanks.
@nadine3419
@nadine3419 4 жыл бұрын
John cried, Dr. K cried, I cried... good stuff
@SIC647
@SIC647 Жыл бұрын
John is probably one of the most insightful and smart people I have seen Dr. K interview. And his storytelling skills and compassion are impressive. Don't underestimate that Special Ed kid. Many of them just need to learn differently than the majority.
@dyver123
@dyver123 4 жыл бұрын
This interview was extraordinarily helpful to me - I relate to a lot of what John feels.
@anthaguz
@anthaguz 4 жыл бұрын
This is probably one that I never expected to watch but it was amazing!
@Yojimbo711
@Yojimbo711 3 жыл бұрын
I absolutely loved this convo man, with a little gift at the end with the meditation camera shutoff, awesome!!
@datengugod
@datengugod 9 ай бұрын
ObeseToBeast meditated themselves into displaying a psychic power at the end 🤯 haha but for real, this was a huge hitting video, lots to take in and digest.
@dystopiaseven
@dystopiaseven 2 жыл бұрын
OH MY GOD FINALLY CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED THIS THANK YOU
@theoiguedjtal3885
@theoiguedjtal3885 4 жыл бұрын
Yooooo wtf I didn't expect my man ObesetoBeast to be there PogU
@hecatrice2064
@hecatrice2064 4 жыл бұрын
I never knew he had such background, props to him for pulling through.
@NekoViper
@NekoViper 4 жыл бұрын
I use to watch this guy a bit when I started losing weight. Glad to see him on here!
@NinaKlos
@NinaKlos 4 жыл бұрын
This one was so relatable for me. Can't believe it
@LightsCity
@LightsCity 4 жыл бұрын
THIS ONE WENT DEEP. Thanks Dr. K. This channel really is special.
@themothman3726
@themothman3726 4 жыл бұрын
I absolutely loved how he didn't give caffeine a free pass like most people do. Now don't get me wrong I enjoy my caffeine but it is far too common for people to pass it off like caffeine is 100% safe and has no negative side effects. It is a psychoactive drug and he covered that very well.
@vivvy_0
@vivvy_0 4 жыл бұрын
could you please ellaborate on the psychoactive part i don't understand well what does it do?
@themothman3726
@themothman3726 4 жыл бұрын
@@vivvy_0 Caffeine alters the chemistry of the brain, it boosts dopamine and increases the production of adenosine which decreases the production of norepinephrine. Psychoactive means that it influences neurotransmitters. This is pretty much the exact same way cocaine and amphetamine affect the brain.
@chakijzftw
@chakijzftw 4 жыл бұрын
@@themothman3726 if you think about it, caffeine is like poor man's coke
@ToanTheNomad
@ToanTheNomad 3 жыл бұрын
@@vivvy_0 caffeine blocks the reuptake of norepinephrine, which is why you get the sense of feeling increased energy when in reality it is just adrenaline lasting longer in your system. This is why sometimes you can take caffeine and feel no therapeutic effects if you take it and do nothing that stimulates your brain/body. The reason why caffeine can leave you more vulnerable to anxiety is because of the over-excess of adrenaline within your system that’s not able to be normally broken down and filtered out of your blood because of the effects of caffeine (which again is an reuptake inhibitor, it does NOT cause a release of dopamine or adrenaline). Some other stimulant psychoactive drugs such as ritalin acts in the same way (inhibits reuptake of dopamine). Adderall & Vyvanse takes it a step further by acting both as a reuptake inhibitor and increasing lvls of dopamine/adrenaline (epinephrine) in the blood.
@kaoutarrachdi4574
@kaoutarrachdi4574 Жыл бұрын
Hhhh
@impishfou6953
@impishfou6953 4 жыл бұрын
being a loser and having anxiety about getting a job everyday and consumed by self-hatred and self-pity I genuinely hate being myself. I feel like by my mid 20s, i ll prolly kill myself I genuinely cried listening to this, being short, brown and ugly i hate myself, watching made me feel cathartic Thank you alot for this
@kazuto5612
@kazuto5612 4 жыл бұрын
I hope you can get through this
@impishfou6953
@impishfou6953 4 жыл бұрын
@pretentious goatMan, i am having a very healthy diet, i am born in a vegetarian family (due my religion), i eat pulses, i make sure i have alot of milk, and cottage cheese, and just stuf my mom cooks for me, which is usually boiled stuff. I walk for 30 mins everday, talking to myself My sleep cycle is the worst, i sleep at 3 am or something and wake 9 am for my online college. I am learning to stop watching porn. I play games a lil bit or almost dont play on that day But still anxiety just never goes i feel horrible about myself always I have vitiligo on my lips, makes me look bad , i am too short and i am brown and i am very skinny My grades are trash I have been rejected by girls many times, around 10 times, i have never achieved something substantial or noter worthy All of this makes feel pathetic and cumulates into a horrible feeling. I get panick attacks almost everyday, i feel like i am gonna be doomed inevitably My family is great, i dont wanna let them down But i just cant love myself Which leads me to believe i will end up being homeless or unemployed which will drive me to extreme depression and i ll end up killing myself
@impishfou6953
@impishfou6953 4 жыл бұрын
@pretentious goat Thanks man, i like this community alot
@impishfou6953
@impishfou6953 4 жыл бұрын
@@kazuto5612 Thanks dude.
@impishfou6953
@impishfou6953 4 жыл бұрын
@pretentious goat 20 :/
@adinix2000
@adinix2000 4 жыл бұрын
@1:25:00 Powerful lesson about forgiveness. Thank you for that!
@poking7532
@poking7532 Жыл бұрын
As someone who was in the 400 lb club and is now 360 (367 more accurately) and i messed up because my mental health has been.. not so great. Listening to this so far has been very eye openings and wanting to help me restart my weight loss journey. Your mental health helps take care of your physical health.
@kseniyamorein5481
@kseniyamorein5481 9 ай бұрын
Such a GORGEOUS person. Wishing you to strive in all spheres of your life! Great guest, just awesome one. So genuine and open and brave.
@b12shotz
@b12shotz 4 жыл бұрын
excellent, excellent interview. I feel so grateful to have stumbled upon this.
@dorotkamajka8
@dorotkamajka8 4 жыл бұрын
The world is a dangerous place... I resonated with this so much... I will be doing EMDR therapy in January, I hope it will finally help
@saradangererickson7031
@saradangererickson7031 3 жыл бұрын
This interview was fantastic, relatable, and emotional.
@keeysOST
@keeysOST 3 жыл бұрын
I can relate to the aspects of Self deprecation here. It's weird, I have a really supportive family but I just don't like any aspect of myself. Couple that with my social anxiety, shyness, and low confidence and you have a recipe for disaster. I really appreciate this video.
@ChrissaBug
@ChrissaBug 3 жыл бұрын
Oh man... this interview hits so close to home! Really potent! Thanks so much for the amazing interview
@ot7stan207
@ot7stan207 3 жыл бұрын
I was one of the kids who lined up for the toys since I was poor (san francisco). I now work in a large tech company and convince people to donate every year to the toy drive cuz that kid who get that toy truck set now works at a logistics company. toys really mean a lot to kids.
@Nostolic
@Nostolic 8 ай бұрын
Watching old interviews, didn’t know you interviewed this legend.
@hunter6953
@hunter6953 4 жыл бұрын
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEED
@angiepayne6104
@angiepayne6104 2 жыл бұрын
This was the best conversation to listen to! I love both of your channels.
@spigney4623
@spigney4623 2 жыл бұрын
John is one of my favorite people on this platform. Watching this was a privilege :) thanks.
@TheDhammaHub
@TheDhammaHub 4 жыл бұрын
So many people cultivate qualities that make them a horrible person to be around... it is often sad to watch a person go down that road
@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203
@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203 4 жыл бұрын
So many people are fragile nowadays...
@thanushri6006
@thanushri6006 4 жыл бұрын
The crossover I never knew I needed
@JeniciasFancies
@JeniciasFancies 3 жыл бұрын
I just started binge-watching this channel and I'm so excited you spoke to O2B!!!
@ab2dii467
@ab2dii467 4 жыл бұрын
i literally started watching obesetobeast two days ago, this feels surreal
@yaboyradish3072
@yaboyradish3072 4 жыл бұрын
"I hate you for it"; that hurt.
@RachelReduces
@RachelReduces 4 жыл бұрын
What a fantastic session!!!! I really feel like I went through the process myself Live. Dr. K is sooo Amazing. Really Beautiful to see John tackle so much personal stuff and come out on the other side.
@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203
@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203 4 жыл бұрын
Watching this will not solve your problems, dummie -_- These videos are supposed to encourage you to find a doctor in real life.
@RachelReduces
@RachelReduces 4 жыл бұрын
@@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203 I think you mean Dummy, Dummy! No one said problems were solved. Your Stupidity won't be solved either, until you educate yourself. 😉
@jonathanelliott1338
@jonathanelliott1338 4 жыл бұрын
@@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203 Yours has their hands full, I'm sure ; )
@user-tw9ej3bw3f
@user-tw9ej3bw3f 3 жыл бұрын
Wow this talk hit me right in my core
@_mayankr
@_mayankr 4 жыл бұрын
I watched this on stream yesterday. Great episode, great story.
@stendaalcartography3436
@stendaalcartography3436 4 жыл бұрын
1:40:50, some studies show that caffeine is worse for anxiety issues. I've cut it out for different reason(it's too acidic, and I want to have more alkaline diet)
@vsalbuq
@vsalbuq 4 жыл бұрын
That guy is very similar to where I am now... I still can't find this "you deserve" thing Dr. K is saying. I feel the whole "I'm entitled to this" thinking is something the worst people that have been in my life had.
@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203
@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203 4 жыл бұрын
You're entitled to everything just for living. Kick other competitors out or you're gonna get ejected. Sadly, western societies are all females now, no more men who know how to survive, sad.
@jonathanelliott1338
@jonathanelliott1338 4 жыл бұрын
​@@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203 I demanded my team win the soccer game just for showing up, and officials laughed at me, which was of course, odd. Amirite?
@hunter6953
@hunter6953 4 жыл бұрын
@@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203 gee dude that solved all of my problems thanks
@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203
@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203 4 жыл бұрын
@Vergil TheVirgin Civility is a lie to prevent you from threatening the leader's position. Take and never ask, losers will still be behind trying to fit in whatever lie the leader told them.
@vivvy_0
@vivvy_0 4 жыл бұрын
@@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203 if you want to just murder around why don't you all live in the jungle, lots of competition and survival there. not everyone wants to live in a barbaric merciless hellscape
@marc_so
@marc_so 4 жыл бұрын
in germany there's a saying that roughly translates to "everyone is the smith of his luck" meaning you make your luck happen, which is problematic and wrong in some ways but i think it's pretty applicable here.
@GoobyGooby
@GoobyGooby 4 жыл бұрын
So much about Johns early school reflects on what I had to deal with. poor motor coordination, special ed. some of this stuff really makes me reflect.
@qcumberfiesta7122
@qcumberfiesta7122 4 жыл бұрын
i agree with dr k his responses have a lot to say in them. Good Guest!
@millanferende6723
@millanferende6723 4 жыл бұрын
I'm gonna have to watch this when I work on my scooter next time!... I have no patience for 2 hours when I'm sitting down 😅
@t837qvhsdKJ
@t837qvhsdKJ 4 жыл бұрын
special education is helpful in a lot of way and I have been trough those 2 . they are also detrimental in a lot of ways to me.
@L_Martin
@L_Martin 3 жыл бұрын
1:24:21 It’s interesting. I would have thought that the person who can get rid of her guilt is HER. Not him. Because so many times when someone wrongs you, even if you say to them “I forgive you, let’s move on.” Often they still hold onto it and nothing you say takes their guilt away. Or conversely, some assholes wrong others, feel guilt occasionally, but ultimately forgive THEMSELVES all too easily, regardless of if they have the other person’s forgiveness or not.
@liychi
@liychi 4 жыл бұрын
Another great and helpful video, I learned a lot and thanks for doing what you guys do! Best wishes to everyone ♡
@pebblebrookbooks4852
@pebblebrookbooks4852 3 жыл бұрын
If I have difficulty saying "deserve", how about: ObeseToBeast has his physique? FatKidInBasement reassurance?
@0skim0
@0skim0 4 жыл бұрын
I'm starting to think every mental health issue can be explained through restaurant analogues 😂
@bennymountain1
@bennymountain1 4 жыл бұрын
Holy shit, John!
@melreams2904
@melreams2904 4 жыл бұрын
Damn. That was amazing and I loved like 90% of it, but there's one part I have a problem with. I'm building a theory that there are at least 2 kinds of people when it comes to "forgiveness," people who can forgive before they're done feeling angry and people who need to be done feeling angry first before they can forgive. I'm very much the second kind, I'm extremely against trying to forgive before you've admitted that you were harmed, felt your feelings about it, and talked about it. I think John's mom is likely to be forgivable because she did some serious work to get clean and get her kids back, but I think forgiving my mother, who is unable to even admit that she made her children's lives terrible, is an insult to the entire concept of forgiveness. What I think is important for people like me is acceptance, as in "Yeah my childhood sucked. It sucked a lot. But it's up to me where I go from here." I was a little unsure about the part where you were talking about John being worthless when he was in an emotional flashback but I think I get it. I can't fucking stand being told stuff that's just not true, I can't use a lot of guided meditations because they say things about how everything is okay and they don't know my life, maybe everything is fucking shitty right now. Trying to comfort someone by saying things they know aren't true just isn't going to work, you've got to meet them where they are and I think you were recommending that John meet his hurting teenage self where he was and not try to lie to him, which I totally respect.
@Amazing_missB
@Amazing_missB 6 ай бұрын
I’ve worked one on one with many students diagnosed with ADHD - and they think they are dumb - they are absolutely not dumb. They just need a different kind of learning environment like you said humans on the hole. We’re not meant to sit for eight hours in any place absorbing information. We are meant to be in groups on the move outside solving problems. I just happened to be good at what I call “the game” of school. I still manipulated the system to have a band lesson every single day. As an adult, I was diagnosed with ADHD - turns out it was just CPTSD. During school I would just sit in the back and draw and doodle. Fortunately, I went to a small school where as long as they knew me and I got excellent grades they were OK with whatever , As an educator, I don’t mind if my students out to stand up and wiggle as long as they are able to get back to their work and continue. I am very strong in my belief that we should make education as close as possible to what we are designed to do as human beings. But I have to keep this quiet - or else I get sanctioned or banned from jobs. I do not believe there is any such thing as a student who doesn’t have something value to offer to this world I problem is we don’t have the resources to offer every student to let that flourish Life can be very rough and we don’t know what they are going through. Each child is a gift and a blessing and I will treat them as such despite the behaviors they made display when they are young. I have no right to judge is going on with that little one - they are just a child trying to do their best.
@MilesTsang
@MilesTsang 3 жыл бұрын
These videos are helping me so much. Thank you.
@jasonyacinthe1778
@jasonyacinthe1778 4 жыл бұрын
1:40:04 My parents said I never cried as a baby 😳
@julia-p1m6q
@julia-p1m6q 2 жыл бұрын
oof same. narcissistic mom and no dad
@skabarella
@skabarella 2 жыл бұрын
when you're having daily panic attacs but your therapist just shrugs and has no help for you and your psychiatrist just gives you that 'aha, interesting!" look - there is no other mental health problem, where you will be just left helpless because they just don't know how to help and you just have to bear it.. met a lot of people that made very similar experiences. Panic attacs don't concern mental health practioners, they have nothing to offer.
@SIC647
@SIC647 Жыл бұрын
I think Dr. K's explanation here, and also in other streams explains a lot of the why: It looks like a mental issue, but a very large part of it is a physical one. And neither Western medical doctors, nor Western therapy, know what to do then because it isn't as clear-cut as they would like. I don't work for Dr. K 😅 but I suggest buying his Guide To Mental Health. I think he is really good at bridging medicine and therapy, by bridging Western and Eastern techniques.
@misternobody855
@misternobody855 2 жыл бұрын
How do you make yourself truly *believe* that it’s okay to accept feeling worthless? I can say it, but I still honestly think it’s not okay that I was worthless…
@killarengo
@killarengo 4 жыл бұрын
we’re all gonna make it.. don’t give up ❤️
@RandyReeTV
@RandyReeTV 2 жыл бұрын
Danm that's a hard talk to have with parents. I don't know that I might ever have that talk till they die
@deepakrajendra8019
@deepakrajendra8019 4 жыл бұрын
Very cool to see someone on here I actually watch! :D
@blasterjd6626
@blasterjd6626 4 жыл бұрын
Weird seeing a vainglory player here.😔
@deepakrajendra8019
@deepakrajendra8019 4 жыл бұрын
@@blasterjd6626 :(
@RianKashfi
@RianKashfi 4 жыл бұрын
What is this a crossover episode!?!
@plaarwnleelrl
@plaarwnleelrl 4 жыл бұрын
I looked at each talking point segment and I'm just full of YUP's
@kennythekid130
@kennythekid130 4 жыл бұрын
Can't wait for the Mang0 episode
@jonaskoelker
@jonaskoelker 2 жыл бұрын
On the hunter versus farmer analogy: I guess that's why they're called cubicle farms.
@YTHandlesWereAMistake
@YTHandlesWereAMistake 4 жыл бұрын
I know several people in the keyboards hobby, and some of them have typing speeds about 30-50 wpm, while also owning several different keyboards, sometimes dozens even, and being active in chats about the whole hobby. And it’s absolutely fine for you to be on the same level with them, or slower, or faster. Frankly speaking, it doesn’t really matter. Once you want to start improving, you have to decide and actually start, and keep at it, but you absolutely don’t have to improve if you don’t want to.
@mtski296
@mtski296 Жыл бұрын
The question around 1:40:00 .... I had this problem, it was because I using heavy nicotine with my caffeine/coffee in the morning. When I reduced nicotine it went away.
@hoolerboris
@hoolerboris Жыл бұрын
49:45 What's the third type of mindset besides farmer mindset and hunter mindset?
@DM-kk8cm
@DM-kk8cm 2 жыл бұрын
When Dr K asks to pause to think, he seems to pause for such a short period of time that I think that either his brain works extremely fast or mine runs at 25% the average speed lol
@zedbody
@zedbody Жыл бұрын
I think the former is likely but not necessary - he is literally a professional and an expert in this, it's his job, he doesn't need to figure everything out step by step because he has a lot of training and practice in this exact skill to the point where most of it happens subconsciously. I don't have enough information to say anything about your brain, but not being able to keep up with a professional in their own field of expertise does not reflect negatively on you.
@DM-kk8cm
@DM-kk8cm Жыл бұрын
I appreciate making sure Im not being down on myself but yeah i was definitely just making a "funny" comment@@zedbody
@tysonc5622
@tysonc5622 4 жыл бұрын
Quality content. Actually
@estebanalzate7609
@estebanalzate7609 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you
@Teena.10
@Teena.10 4 жыл бұрын
Oh man this one was heavy on the heart ❤
@autumnbronze7
@autumnbronze7 3 жыл бұрын
1:13:30 about pushing people away
@psymeariver
@psymeariver 2 жыл бұрын
1:42:30 powerful
@Conceptsexplainedsimply
@Conceptsexplainedsimply 2 жыл бұрын
I would love to see Dr K talk to David Goggins. That would be legendary.
@mist-eerie-music
@mist-eerie-music 4 жыл бұрын
yoo dr K looks great with longer hair!
@japhalpha
@japhalpha 4 жыл бұрын
Gotta say to ObesetoBeast, thank you for being selfish and talking about yourself
@conor7187
@conor7187 3 жыл бұрын
Fucking bawling my eyes out @27:10
@sean640
@sean640 4 жыл бұрын
I liked when dr k said "damn son"
@sean640
@sean640 4 жыл бұрын
🤣
@Kacper-db7qx
@Kacper-db7qx 4 жыл бұрын
Whole Earth is self-deprecating... we are all in isolation...
@vivvy_0
@vivvy_0 4 жыл бұрын
for once it is all, how unifying
@merlin9183
@merlin9183 3 жыл бұрын
1 52 07 just saving this
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