Dr. Gabor Maté: Who Gets Sick, and How to Prevent it

Dr. Gabor Maté (addiction, stress, and childhood development speaker & bestselling author) joins us to explain which groups of people tend to be most prone to chronic illness, practical ways we can prevent these diagnoses, and the link between childhood trauma and mental & physical health conditions later on in life. He details health conditions you may not know have stress-related causes and explains why healthy attachment and meeting a child’s needs is even more important than we think. Dr. Maté identifies characteristics of those who are prone to chronic illness, reveals why autoimmune diseases predominantly affect women and discusses the dangers of systematic denial of our emotions. He and Mayim consider the ways well-meaning loving parents can unintentionally create lower-level trauma in their kids, how feelings of being unwanted can lead to workaholism, and the limitations of a traditional nuclear family. They discuss Dr. Maté’s time working at a supervised injection site, why most people in the prison system are highly traumatized, and why trauma goes hand-in-hand with addiction.
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Dr. Gabor Maté's New Book, THE MYTH OF NORMAL: www.penguinrandomhouse.com/bo...
Theme Song Written, Produced, and Performed by Ed Robertson. Mixed by Kenny Luong.
#MayimBialik​​​ #BialikBreakdown #GaborMaté

[@wladyslawjagiello]

The woman interviewing made this too much about herself. She needed to focus more on this brilliant doctor.

[@ultravioletpisces3666]

She is also a brilliant doctor and neuroscientist.

[@kurtfischer1158]

I'd like humbly to suggest to Ms. Bialik that people are more interested in hearing her guests' express their knowledge and experience than in hearing Ms. Bialik's expressions of similar. To Ms. Bialik, perhaps count how many times during these 98 minutes you complete Mr. Mate's sentences, put words in his mouth, or cut him off before he completes his sentence. Also, you might compare the total number of minutes you speak vs. same for Mr. Mate. In short, you're a lovely, smart person, and maybe I'm in a minority but I chose this video to watch because I wanted to hear from Mr. Mate. All that said, I enjoyed it and found it worthwhile. :)

[@katrinamusic29]

Totally agree! We might of all got a chance to learn more if she let him speak.

[@catherineobrien8696]

@@katrinamusic29Yes, I most DEFINITELY agree that we might have all gotten a chance to learn more from Dr. Mate if she had let him speak. interrupting interviewers!!! grrrrr. I just clicked on this video but I'm not going to watch it. There are many others with Dr. Mate where he is POLITELY allowed to speak!

[@imeldatbeltran342]

I got triggered listening and watching her antics…… 😂😂in all seriousness, it gave me anxiety seeing her play with her hair and all of these interruptions. She needs to learn how to do interviews.

[@ultravioletpisces3666]

It’s actually Dr. Bialik and Dr Mate

[@karencrane4005]

Absolutely agree

[@Haiyain]

Good interview. I recommend the interviewer to hold herself back a little bit more for next time though, and to pay more attention on not interrupting him.

[@lauralucio314]

As a Canadian, I consider him a National Treasure. I think his work is key to helping almost everyone in our super sick culture. Thanks for bringing him to a wider audience.

[@411w44]

👍🙂❤

[@JesseSaintJesse]

As another Canadian, I totally agree!

[@lisasommerlad1337]

International.

[@lauralucio314]

@@lisasommerlad1337 most definitely

[@terrisolaroli4169]

Dr. Peterson is from Canada as well. 🙏😃

[@ladyalveena]

Mayim could have kindly stopped interrupting... But good talk always absolute pleasure hearing Gabor speak

[@jennihj]

Omg 😱 I had to turn off Narcism and lack of self awareness

[@jenmdawg]

My god this was hard to listen to - she interrupted him every sentence to let him know she knew what he was talking about, agreed with him, who he mentioned. He was so patient! I aim to be more like him and less interruptive myself - I do this too and got to see what it looks and sounds like. Fascinating, illuminating conversation. I came to many of these revelations on my own as I faced my addiction issues in late adulthood. Sarno was my start and Mate confirms so much of what I came to believe about our damaged psyches seeking fulfillment in an insane world.

[@Newlaw289]

She probably nervous and wants to have validation that she is knowledgeable enough to have a seat at the table. Good feedback for her, if she yields to it.

[@Iliah97]

I couldnt finish the podcast. This lady is unsufferable.

[@ekk.k]

Yes, it's terrible to watch because of her interrupting all the time, there is a lot of masculine energy in her, she speaks in a very irritating way, too fast and in a very bossy way, the nervous laughter adds to the discomfort of watching a very interesting apeaker

[@michalestrela4196]

@@ekk.k she speaks in a masculine way? The f? There's no masculine or feminine way of talking. Or do you mean a woman should sit back and be seen but not heard? You're letting your misogyny show.

[@ntitus3025]

She was quite annoying.

[@KCCyborgHybrid]

I am an Indigenous artist from Manitoba, Canada and I am a fan of Dr. Gabor Maté. Before contact, Indigenous ontology was about interrelationality; recognizing that humans are one small part of the universe and our relationships to plants, animals, environment, community, etc. is an important part of our survival. Children were sacred beings and were never denied anything. They were surrounded by community and everyone had a role in supporting their needs and teaching them to be sentient beings. We never had prisons and through experience we created checks and balances to prevent greed. When conquers, settlers and well meaning religious groups forced their ontological understandings onto my ancestors, it was done with violence and policies that disempowered generations of people. Residential (church run) schools took children away from their families, language and culture to experience a foreign way of life that centred around abuse and discipline. What Gabor never mentioned was that the majority of people in Canadian prisons is Indigenous People and the East side of Vancouver is also made up of mostly Indigenous People. I have been learning about the old ways and I now go to ceremony. Much of what Gabor talks about, I hear the same lessons in the teachings from elders. I wish our voices-Indigenous ontologies, pedagogies and epistemologies-had a platform because we have have been silenced for too long. The Indigenous People carry so much wisdom that can help guide us to a brighter future. Thank you for your program, it is always a joy to hear about healing.

[@kimlarso]

❤

[@rs5570]

So well stated & explained. This comment so enlightened me. Write a book for us. I so wish i could join you in this journey & ceremony. I am so moved by thrse words, things I knew but didn’t know. Spirit bless you in all things. ♥️

[@northofyou33]

We all need to live more like indigenous cultures such as yours. We need you as our teachers.

[@jilldubick3007]

Thank you for your comment in light of the recent news of indigenous people being tricked and lied to about schooling ,support and such. It wounds me deeply in the name of faith, Christianity or caring that a whole race was affected by not good meaning individuals but by by a nation of I’ll learned men took away families, cultures, rights and more than they could realize in truth of the importance of the natural healing, the importance of nature, Mother Earth, family causing afflictions, addictions and wounds so deep it’s unspeakable until people like yourself remind us all of the harm done to so many by so few.. we are all one and need to support each other.

[@karienrothmann9395]

The movies "Black Robe" and "The Mission" brought these themes home to me in South Africa ... It makes me 😭😭😭 ... the rape of innocence and convolusions of cultural/catholic practices that twisted humans into pretzels!!!

[@paigehansen6491]

I absolutely love listening to Gabor Mate speak. I wish Mayim would let him talk and get his point across without interrupting or making comments.

[@janeerdman8836]

Yes this. Mayim the effects of your childhood trauma are showing in your desire to get Dr. Mate's approval with your understanding of the concepts he so brilliantly wove together into this masterpiece of a book. It's as if you were so validated that this compassionate brilliant man put down in words what you have recognized and felt intuitively for years, that you forgot he (and not you) was the expert and main attraction and you were the interviewer!

[@normerika]

Let the man speak. Ding ding ding 🛎️

[@stephanimeyers9570]

Very difficult to listen to with all of the mm hmm, right, correct...!

[@What_I_Think_Happened]

It's almost impossible to listen. When she says, "There's no physiological basis" for disease she shows she completely misunderstood his points.

[@tatusha]

Thank you! I was very disappointed in Mayim. Sheb looks like she’s hopped up on something and can’t calm down. I thought she would be more self aware, being a neuro scientists. shm

[@MyBodyIsMyTemple]

I’m so glad Gabor is being interviewed everywhere! We need him to get all the exposure possible!

[@adlc1313]

He has!!!!! I have not stopped! I see his name and click! I can hear him repeat everything everyday because that one small fraction of understanding changes my life, my intellect! I love him! ❤

[@TejBBF223]

ive read two of his books his insight, his compassion and geniune understanding of issues.

[@OnceUponATexasGarden]

@@adlc1313by you v up gycggy😮 C

[@abababab39]

She rally like to talk. Why so much talk and tine inntil she lets-her guests talk😢

[@lisaemmajones7655]

She is so annoying, never seen her before and all she does is correct correct correct like she knows everything wtf

[@LitHouseTieDye]

As a person who has been economically disadvantaged my whole life, I want people to know that you can find healing without resources most people think they need. Jonathan said it. You don't need a shaman a healer or even Rx medication. All healing comes from the self. Breakdown is a wonderful resource in learning what one needs to achieve self healing. I'm so grateful for these two people.

[@JaniceAJanice]

I so agree and thank you Tanisha for echoing what Jonathan said. This podcast is my go-to for discovery and help for self-healing. As a senior on Social Security my funds are limited so resources like Mayim's podcast are incredibly fabulous and so appreciated. Thank you, Mayim and Jonathan!

[@MayimBialik]

Thanks so much for the beautiful reminder, Tanisha!!! 🧠🫶

[@deepark2220]

​@@JaniceAJanice

[@MargaretJEllis]

Thank GOD you Finally have him on

[@psychoanalyst9651]

There is enough for everyone, but we are trained to allow suffering, haves and have-nots

[@unravelwithanne9249]

I've always know deep in my bones that women married to man-babies and still work to foot bills have signed themselves uo for a life of misery and diseases. I see it happening all the time. The pampered men looks healthy whilst they are struggling with obesity, anxiety disorder and depression. I'm getting this book for myself

[@cdracos1]

So as a man how do I fit in with this theory ? . I do everything and more. I despise the helpless feeling I feel if a woman even attempts to pamper me .

[@cdracos1]

Due to my over activity , I became sick and now am seriously debating practising and investing in the art of man babyism to help as a cure.

[@sassafras988]

I NEED this book!

[@unravelwithanne9249]

@Bridget McDonald Good for you 💕

[@candyland8903]

@@sassafras988 which book? He has so many

[@cynthiasn6435]

I love the conversation about parenting. I grew up in Senegal, West Africa, and babies are constantly attached to their moms. They literally spend the whole day attached!

[@crystalsada6224]

I’m a 63 year old woman who has CIDP, Sjorgrens, Lupus and hashimotos. I KNEW intuitively that my childhood abuse played a key role in why I have so many autoimmune issues. I’m sobbing. I just ordered Gabor’s book. Thank you for this interview!

[@SuperLammens]

Wish you good Recovery

[@sylviaoesterwinter8858]

Hi Crystal. You are not alone. I am about to turn 60. I have fibromyalgia and Sjogrens and CPTSD. We all need to hold each other up. There are so many folks out there like us.

[@Sketcher93]

I'm so glad you and this episode crossed paths. It was such a stunner. My best to you 🤍❤️

[@mj-kawai]

💗💕💗💕💗💕💗

[@l.w.paradis2108]

You'll be better, you'll see. I know you will. My late Mom used to say, when things are bad, food comes first. Eat super clean, anti-inflammation foods. It's hard but SO worth it. It has kept me alive, honestly.

[@BillEnder]

My wife and I have watched Dr Maté discussing this latest book on a half-dozen other podcasts over the past month and learned from every one of them. But you, Mayim, and Jonathan connected and engaged with him in a way that none of the others did. Easily one of the best and most substantive podcasts you’ve ever done. 🙌✨❤️

[@MayimBialik]

Wowwww, thanks so much for the high praise, Bill, and for watching!! Very glad this one resonated with you. 🧠🫶

[@mollymcgregor6379]

Absolutely agree! Thank you!

[@penelopefp]

@@MayimBialik I agree too!!! This conversation was HUGE!!!! This will be required watching for everyone in my social circle!!! I can't put into words how amazing this conversation was. His work is incredible, and your conversation made it (all the topics) feel so much more relatable and obtainable and fixable and hopeful. It feels so intuitive and I'm eager to explore what I am saying yes to when I do better saying no. (More sewing, more time with my kids, more reading)

[@neetudhiman1109]

I completely agree. Have seen him on many other Podcasts for this book; and this interview with you both was exceptional ❤

[@loralois]

Yes definitely one conversation that is so different from other podcast! Really love this different point of view ❤

[@arlenerogers8605]

Obviously Mayim was very excited about meeting this extraordinary man and so perhaps she was unconscious of the constant interruptions she made. I thought he handled it In his masterful way, never putting anyone down.

[@Dr.JudeAEMasonMD]

Maybe it’s the Jewess nerd in me or maybe it’s my AuDHD but I loved it. Mayim asked great questions and it was a wonderfully authentic interview. Her interruptions were generally on topic and served to take the conversation to some interesting places. I guess the teacher in me appreciates the spontaneous questions of the eager student.

[@yvettehammer3129]

yes I noticed that too.

[@veronicalagor4771]

Yeah, I noticed that too. Like she was unconsciously looking for some sort of validation at being "knowledgeable" about the subject already, and not letting the actual expert speak. It was admittedly difficult to listen to this interview.

[@saratonnan]

Ok..... like another lady wrote, I'm in tears. Lifelong issues from childhood trauma & a lifetime of counseling, & medication. At last, at 72 I've come to the point that I feel I'm healed & healthy. I adore Dr. Gabor, but wasn't going to buy his book because I feel (well, felt) that I'm ok & have figured it all out. My tears tell me I have more to learn & understand. Thank you for this wonderful interview. 💖 oh, and I've ordered the book. 😊

[@andreaalcocer4369]

When you guys said that when kids see that there's no room for their needs they will not express their needs I felt so seen. Thank you for this episode it was very insightful!

[@davisholman8149]

Oldest daughter of an alcoholic & a narcissist. ‘Perfectionist Fixer’. My picture is beside the mental health textbook where family dynamics are described. Severe spine/pain issues are how my damage presents.🤷🏼‍♀

[@annasan451]

@@davisholman8149 I am a middle daughter of same, when my older sister died , I took her role, it's very painful.

[@davisholman8149]

@@annasan451 Welcome to the Fixer Club, Annasandra. Get ready to age more quickly & to end up with some major illness. Sorry, but that is what Dr. Mate’ says in his book.😔

[@janicestarr3841]

I love this man, have read his books and heard his lectures. I am so sad that Mayim CANNOT stop obsessively interrupting him to the extent that the power of his personality and articulation was sustantially lost here.

[@chia6797]

@BlueBerryCrayon45 totally agree

[@raynaengle4313]

Agree on that point. I wanted to quit watching several times but learned to tune her out. You can tell Jonathan was annoyed.

[@WateryFire]

@Northern Light Nothing enjoyable about “bubbleness” that interrupts an introvert’s train of thought at all times. To be a good interviewer you need to be a good listener and be able to control the instinct of vocalizing every single thought that pops up in your head.

[@janicestarr3841]

"Bubbly" is not what I saw. I saw a narcissitic need for it to be "about me" and the inability to get quiet with herself. Gabor is tolerant of these things, a therapist and a good listener. He also has a book he needs to get out in front of the public, so he behaved appropriately and with compassion.. I do not blame Mayim as she can't help it as of yet in her process, but it is clear that she should work on it if she wishes her guests to be heard.

[@janicestarr3841]

Clearly she has a need to take up all the oxygen in a room.

[@venusrain4198]

My younger brother died in January this year of trauma at age 44. His childhood sexual abuse perpetuated by our grandfather from the age of 8 to 15, along with emotionally absent parents, an emotionally abusive father and stepmother and emotionally abusive older sibling manifested years later as cancer. He died 3 months after is 44th birthday 💔

[@rs5570]

I hear you. I hear you. I hear you. ♥️

[@manyBlessings2all]

Dear Venus Rain, that's so sad about your younger brother, what a heap of traumas, so sorry for his suffering and your loss of him. I imagine you've had a tough time too, in the same family. Glad you have found Gabor Mate's wisdom & calm kindness. Healing & Happiness & Blessings to us all 🙏😇🤗💖

[@sharonramsey715]

Oh the pain, the pain. We need to learn so much. I’m so sorry about your brother.

[@inira7418]

Theres people who suffer so much in this life, I hope in future there is a test to see if parents have qualities to be parents

[@awaywithfairies4689]

They killed your brother. They belong in jail. His poor sweet soul 😔may he rest in peace 🙏🏻🌟

[@thehylers1021]

Thank you for this podcast and interview. I just thanked God - the decision to leave my toxic unavailable family of origin at 19 was the best decision of my life. I learned to re-parent myself, love myself, like myself and respect myself. At 61 I'm still learning and experiencing ongoing freedom, and more fun and adventure than ever before. I pray for everyone here in this community. You can do it!🙏♥️

[@rs5570]

The best advice I ever received in my life was at 17 from a therapist at my university health service: “ Leave your parents. Never look back. Never go back to them for anything, ever.” I was too frightened of my father to take that advice and it ruined my life. I am now 64. I tell anyone who will listen - which is very few - get away from toxic families - siblings, parents - ALL. Change your name. Start a new life. You will NOT regret it. You form your own new families with friends. This works just fine. This is the only way you can stop the cycle of abuse. If you were abused please don’t have children. Why do you want that? You will wreck their lives without meaning to. It’s possible it could turn out ok, but it’s very, very unlikely. Love the children of others. Be there for THEM.

[@sanataj]

@@rs5570 I am the one that is rejected by everybody; I think because I am too needy and angry at the way I am treated with contempt by people. It is very hurtful and has been a lifelong problem. So I could not leave my family, although at one time I did try to make anew life away from thoughts of them, thinking other people would like me. I was wrong. Even my family is cold and contemptuous towards me. I don't know how to have a feeling of worth or get in touch with my true self. I wish I was not born and I want to exit this life. I wish there was a dignified euthanasia system where people are actually treated nicely for once, just as they are killed.

[@lv5584]

Wow 19!! I'm 45 & still trying not to care about my abusive family & break ties w my toxic narcissist mother ! I live w her . What my life could have been if I had your courage 😢 I'm gonna use you as inspiration ❤

[@magdalenasliwerska2233]

​@@rs5570❤

[@alexissmith5523]

If I may offer a possible "tweak" to this particular podcast as this is my first one. I found you bc I'm a gabor mate follower. mayim I know who you are bc of the big bang theory. the only difficult part for ME was when it felt like you were so excited to show that you knew what gabor was talking about bc you too are a follower and have read this book, which felt like interruptions. jason seemed to reel things in beautifully and was helpful there. i know you were excited mayim and you are SO SO smart. but perhaps, next time you can let the guest, specifically gabor, talk and let him get his full point across. this is not in anyway to hurt or offend. and the only reason I did not start with a positive which psychology teaches us to do, was bc you are way too authentic for that bull. i hope I made some sort of sense. shavuah tov. thank YOU for having gabor on most importantly for going inward and doing the inner self work.

[@marisamartinezolivera]

As a colon cancer ex-patient that was sure before reading anything about body-mind connections that somehow my “body has said NO” to the worst stressful moment in my life, I realize I fulfil/led all Dr. Maté’s and all Mayim’s “ding-dings🔔” about people who tend to get sick: 1. Tend to put other’s people’s emotional needs compulsively on themselves (from being first of six siblings kind of surrogate mom for other five from my 10 years old and counting afterwards..) 2. Tend to put duties and responsabilities first rather than themselves (a successful professional with much pressure trained from early childhood to endure responsabilities) 3. Tend to repress healthy anger not setting clear boundaries (both in family and profession..) 4. Feeling responsible for what people’s feel and don’t want to disapoint anyone (It costs me a cancer to realize that “we’re born to be real, not perfect”) Said that, how I love Dr. Maté’s words “I WORRY FOR PEOPLE THAT ARE VERY NICE”: Yes and yes, some of us need to learn to be “good selfish ones”. And Mayim’s golden phrase that resume a lot of our western culture sufferings: “HUMAN BEINGS ARE TRAINED TO GO AGAINST OUR OWN INSTINCTS IN THIS CULTURE” To be both framed! How I adore and are thankful to this podcast and specially for this TRUE GEM of episode. I only can say to Mayim, Jonathan and Dr. Maté a heartfeld THANK YOU.

[@Corrans]

Sadly, narcissistic folk don't seem to get sick like all the nice, good people do.

[@marisamartinezolivera]

@@Corrans Narcisistic is a sickness itself…IMHO

[@l.w.paradis2108]

My Mom used to say that about the kids that are too nice.

[@moondog7694]

"HUMAN BEINGS..." reminded me of an interview of psychologist Ronald Goldman, PhD where he said mothers of infants shouldn't go against their instincts. He wrote the book on how circumcision causes boys to lose trust in their mom, and become men who hate women. I read that Maxim was raised in a non-religious family but she decided to convert to a strict form of religion which is why she decided to get her son circumcised. She went against her instincts to protect her child. It is the ultimate betrayal. Circumcision is perhaps the most painful neonatal procedure, according to the book "Birth Trauma and the Dark Side of Modern Medicine".

[@barbaramoore4028]

@@Corrans Louise you have alot of insight and are so correct on that point.

[@lilaclilly198]

I am so hungry to hear what Dr Gabor Mate has to say. In a nut shell, He deciphers the wheat from the chaff… I am almost in my six decade. I started thinking no one can help or fix my broken self,it’s to late…🤔 Now I feel there is still hope to heal and move forward. What a remarkable man🤗🙏🏻

[@Dzanarika1]

As long ad you have hope and believe, ANYTHING is possible 😊

[@kimlarso]

As soon as you figure out how holding onto it has benefited you and how it has not and then, forge in the direction opposite of everything you’ve known…..”the pain to remain the same must be more greater than the pain it’ll take to change,”……Nothing can exist until we first think it, then visualize it then believe it and it’ll be=“If you can’t change something- then by all means change the way you see it”…. 🐛🦋you have my permission to live your best life!…. 😉

[@Dagan28]

" A child who's needs are not responded to, will stop asking for their needs to be met", this rings so true. I was brought up in a Kibbutz in Israel, back in those days we as children were sleeping in a children house, not with our parents, from infancy. Years later a classmate of mine studied psychology, he told me that many researches showed that infants in infants houses in the Kibbutzes do not cry, since they learned it's fruitless, no one is there to comfort them when they do any way. This of course has a very big impact on the personality of the person this infant will grow up to be. Thank you Mayim and Jonathan for bringing Dr. Gabor, one of the most eye opening conversation I've heard for a while.

[@liz-iy6zm]

OMG that sounds truly tragic.

[@Dagan28]

@@liz-iy6zm Yeah, people back then thought it's a reasonable way to raise children, not knowing the long term implications, now it's all changed and children are sleeping in their parents apartments.

[@alobo9937]

I discovered Gabor Mate 4 years ago and he is about the only Dr. I trust. Everyone should read his books! He is amazing and has been highly influential in my life and healing journey. So happy you got him!!!!!!

[@jromeo8247]

My children are now young adults. In staying firm in my beliefs that I wanted them to be at home with me for the first 5 years, breastfed for the first 2, let them be in their natural state as much as possible regarding their appearance, feeding them organic foods and being in tune with the sunrise and sunset timeline, they led natural lives. Fast forward now, really grounded, polite self aware adults who care for themselves and others on a higher level.

[@michalestrela4196]

You just validated every instinct I've had as a mother and I realized that especially this past year I have been almost constantly sick and I think it's because I give and give and give. I'm an emergency room nurse. I'm a homeschooler. I'm a mother. I'm a wife. I'm a friend. I am looking at the end of this year and I can remember who I was but not who I am. I've been sick so often I'm exhausted and broken. I need to be like a baby and make my needs known and be a bit selfish for a while.

[@tarawalsh-arpaia3928]

Could not have been better stated. My doctor told me this same thing about myself and, in his view it is still a 'role' that society primarily pushes women into.

[@milenagielas8184]

I'm afraid there's another reason that people are sick constantly. J A B

[@davinarasmussen]

@@milenagielas8184 that's just absolutely dismissive as hell. The OP is trying to acknowledge she needs to make herself a priority and you're blaming a vaccine? 🤦🏼‍♀️ yes, because until 2 years ago all moms/nurses/wives/teachers didn't put everyone else first.

[@brendadavis5391]

Bravo!

[@brendadavis5391]

@@tarawalsh-arpaia3928 Bravo!

[@carlaheimerl6900]

I think there is something to be said about grandparents too. If not for my grandfather, I would have had a somewhat miserable childhood, even though my parents did their best. He was actually a step grandfather, who never had kids of his own, but he was the BEST. He had the patience of a saint and let us do all kinds of things. He was a natural. As soon as we heard his old truck fire up, we would jump in the back and away we would go, fishing, or maybe going to a farm to buy a calf, it was always an adventure. We never went to a fancy theme park or anything like that. I read somewhere that the human race started making great strides when the grandmothers lived long enough to take care of grandchildren. The grandparents just have more experience in raising children too. They don't have the same financial burdens as the parents, and they are more relaxed.

[@halasipipacs]

Absolutely. They touched on that at the beginning but yes, the loss of extended family is the reason for the extreme pressure on parents now

[@margareth1504]

The paternal grandparents side of one female baby, kept coming up with ways to use the baby to make other family members well or feel better. Ie. a clinically depressed teenager - they wanted to get the baby and put it with the teenager as much as possible to make him feel better. Like giving the teenager a puppy I suppose to cure depression. but using someone elses baby. The grandmother was going to have a nervous breakdown unless the mother of the baby gave up her child to the old woman for a day every week. Otherwise the child’s mum would be blamed and guilty of causing old woman’s nervous breakdown. When the grandmother died, the grandfather wanted the 10 year old child (by then) to comfort him in his despair and grief for the loss of his wife dying. He didnt want his son to help with that, he wanted the female child. The Mum refused to allow her baby to be used as the family remedy of sorts, and pushed it back on the others, ie parents of teen to give him attention, not the job for a baby. Grandmother to grow up and quit faking nervous breakdowns to get own way, and Grandfather to lean on his own son for comfort if needed - definitely not the job for a little girl to be burdened with the severe emotional burden of a man in his 80s and such grief which went on for about 3 years before he stopped trying to grab her as he was crying.

[@halasipipacs]

@@margareth1504 yes well that is when grandparents are a grater cause of trauma. Just like parents there are good and bad ones.

[@inira7418]

Agree that's why I find it's so good parents are having children at old age like between 40-50 they desire so much the children and have much more wisdom to teach them

[@corgicuttie]

This is why there's so much truth in "generational sins" or "generational trauma"! Just wow. Excellent episode.

[@mandycote5662]

It goes straight back to the first male/ female Adam and Eve who rebelled against God the Creator/ of ALL And here man is- STILL

[@janetcorbin2642]

See on here someone is way, way, toooo excited 🙄🤨😔 is not all about u ☹️

[@janelmiller5935]

This is the most AMAZING introduction I have ever heard! Dr Gabor deserves every mention 💝 he is a gift to society for sharing his work and passion.

[@Serenity-fu8xz]

Yes

[@MayimBialik]

Absolutely!!! An honor to have him here. Thanks for watching, Janel!! 🧠🫶

[@jodieharris2884]

Mayim, I wish you would let your guest speak more, he is absolutely amazing!

[@marinac2299]

I seriously wish this woman wouldn't had interrupted every 5 words, Gabor is such a great guest. Will be watching him in other podcasts where he is more free to elaborate his ideas.

[@joannadillon6069]

Marina..I totally agree! We want to hear him and a very small amount of her..Drives me nuts..His message is so powerful and important.I worked with children for many years and wish all parents could have this knowledge..We all need it of course..Im so grateful for him and what he has to teach us,,,

[@alakasarma8856]

Totally agree. She was interrupting even when her co host was summarising the salient features..Juvenile behaviour. on her part. In the course of podcast she does mention that she too needed to learn a few things..so one can assume the awareness is there but level of awareness is not adequate enough to control the compulsive behaviour .

[@SCORP1ONF1RE]

when you sweat the small stuff, it just makes you look like a little B. see how that works? you're not perfect either ya little B!

[@moniquemichelle7295]

Exactly! I wish she would have shut up. He’s such a treasure and she was so damn obnoxious!

[@carolynwilson7736]

I am so glad you did this interview. I co-slept with my daughter for years and breastfed for 3.5 years. (I work full-time in a professional role and I could make it work) The criticism I received from my ex-husband was infuriating. I knew I was doing the right thing by her, it was instinctual, and listening to this makes me feel vindicated.

[@gogogolyra1340]

Huh? How are u different from parents who are leave their newborns in the morning to some stranger only to return at night?

[@lorimiller4301]

Good for you, you listened to and acted on your intuition. Your daughter doesn't know how good she's got it. Sorry about your husband, he's probably jealous that he didn't get his needs met with so much love and consideration. You did the right thing. Babies should be breastfed.

[@sabymoon]

Me, too. Nursing for years!

[@simonanardi4312]

0:56:xx - and that’s why a child might be anxious and angry and “annoyed” about a depressed and stressed-out mother: because she is not able to be supportive, but might be in need of support herself. Which means the child is somehow in danger, or at least under a constant kind of pressure. Let alone when other family members start to tell you: “you have to be kind and respectful and thankful to your mum”

[@irenemackay3627]

I am deeply impressed by Gabor Mate's work. This interview however does not give him the space to speak without being interrupted by the interviewer who thinks it's all about her...that's really too bad.

[@SCORP1ONF1RE]

when you sweat the small stuff, it just makes you out to be a little B. see how that works? you're not perfect either you little B!

[@ultravioletpisces3666]

This is not an interview this is a conversation.

[@susanrobertson984]

I have listened to many of Gabor Mate’s interviews and still he says things that make me tear up. That last bit about small children learning to say no and how important it is … I imagine I was forced to be compliant so that explains a lot.

[@teriw56]

The teacher shows up when the student is ready, wow he’s right on time.

[@MayimBialik]

Beautiful 🙌 Hope you enjoy this one, Teri!!

[@szilvi5618]

As a Hungarian, it was a very pleasant surprise to see Dr. Máté Gábor here! I have a lot of respect for his work and of course Mayim Bialik's as well. ☺

[@erikbihari3625]

Mindig vicces mikor külföldiek ki akarják ejteni a mi nyelvünk neveit, majdnem úgy hangzik mintha eggy ufó beszélne!

[@szilvi5618]

@@erikbihari3625 Mi is ilyesféleképpen ejthetjük az angolt. :D

[@MargaretJEllis]

Me too on all counts, Magyar here!

[@MargaretJEllis]

@@erikbihari3625 well, my dad would not teach us. It's closest to Finnish & Estonian.

[@erikbihari3625]

@@szilvi5618nem hiszem.

[@whalesharkandme552]

This episode made me cry, several times. Diagnosed with breast cancer at 41, seven years ago, I now firmly believe my childhood, toxic abusive relationships and my living under constant hypervigilance, people pleasing etc etc contributed immensely to my illness. Book is in my cart!

[@MayimBialik]

We hope you are in better health these days, @whalesharkandme, in all ways. Thank you so much for sharing, and for watching! 🧠🫶

[@arcaenvm]

I was diagnosed with the shock of stage 4 non-smoking lung cancer a year ago, which was a journey of broken dreams including the desire to have a family. And everything he describes about the drive to people please in lieu of boundaries and self care is true for me. I read Radical Remission by Kelly Turner, which I highly recommend, and it helped me try to find a new path with hope, with some alternative approaches. She speaks about the type 4 personality of which Dr Mate describes here. I’m am going through targeted treatment with good response so far. Warmly wishing you good health and healing on this shared path. 🙏💙I will also be adding Dr Gabor Mate’s books to read. Thank you Mayim for this wonderful interview 🙏💙

[@charchar7897]

You can heal it. Now that you know and have the tools to go within and get rid of it. I love Dr. Gabor, he makes so much sense. I had a lump in my right breast back in Nov 2013. I cried for 5 mins, then went to work. I got rid of every single relationship that didn't serve my highest good. I had a fake best friend that was the spitting image of my toxic mother. I paired that with forgiving myself first, and those who had done me wrong. I went to the sauna 4 days a week, and in 4 months, that lump was nowhere to be found. You can beat this. Also watch Dr. Joe Dispenza's video. You have everything you need within to beat this! I'm rooting for you.

[@davisholman8149]

@@arcaenvm Prayers from Scottsdale, Arizona….🙏🏼💕✌🏽

[@patrickconnolly7799]

At least one sibling of mine died from trying to please her religious community.

[@virginiadavidson7862]

I have not forgotten the woman who kept me during one church service, away from anyone I knew. I was three, and began to cry. She clamped her hand over my nose and mouth, and told me to *BE QUIET!* I thought she was going to kill me! She didn't even let me catch a breath first! I wasn't a perfect mother, and I've grieved over my mistakes. But they were different mistakes than were perpetrated onto me!

[@annaprana8004]

This was a WONDERFUL interview!!! I’ve been following Gabor Mate work for 8 years, right after I overcame a hard drug addiction. I knew something major was missing regarding addiction, trauma, stress, ect from the Western medical approach & when I began listening to his talks & read his books it completely filled those gaps! Soooo amazing!!🤗

[@joan6984]

Not now too much

[@brendadavis5391]

Congratulations to you for overcoming and being triumphant ovrr a harmful situation!

[@sherrymacdonald2067]

This video came up after one I was watching and as I love Dr. Mate, I was pleased. I watch a LOT of videos online and the one pet peeve I have is a host who talks more than their guest. I know they have their stories too and I suggest they are interviewed by someone to get their stories out so that they can allow their guests to talk more. Just saying...and thanks for doing this interview.

[@faruqbranham7970]

Holy shit!!! This is my entire family behavior pattern. There is a saying in my family that love is service to each other. My grandfather it was called the good Samaritan. Auto immune diseases and cancer run rampant in my family as well. I need to sit down…

[@shirleyackerman-bethel1073]

Remember therapy was an embarrassment to the person and the family in the 70’s. Although late husband and I had our years with amazing psychiatrists. It certainly made me a better parent and person. Dr. Mate is helping me at 70 pay more attention to me. Thank you for having him on. I am anxiously awaiting his books.

[@sunshine3914]

Speaking of elephant behavior… they also mourn the loss of their own by surrounding the dead with cries, paying respect, then eventually covering the deceased before continuing on their nonstop quest for food and water. In the 70s & 80s, in order to control their population, we ( the US ) helped South Africa cull their elephant herds, leaving behind mostly young orphans. In the 90s we discovered that without the presence of older males, the male youths became delinquents. There’s actual footage of young elephants pelting less defenseless animals with rocks - a behavior that was, previously, unheard of.

[@lucinawhitney2839]

Maying Mialik, this is a priceless presentation, but you interrupt and comment so much during the presentation.

[@jayzed4099]

I wish hosts would allow the guests to speak instead of constantly answering or interrupting and referring to their own issues. Makes it hard to listen to for any amount of time. Not effective listening and not an effective presentation. It’s not about YOU. Thank you Dr. Mate for your information.

[@SCORP1ONF1RE]

when you sweat the small stuff, it just makes you out to be a little B. see how that works? you're not perfect either you little B!

[@fatimabustos2526]

The thumb down is based on the host not the speaker. Dr Maté is awesome.

[@francescapeters7005]

As someone with a brain tumour I can attest to the fact that I have all 4 personality traits that Gabor stated as making someone vulnerable to a chronic disease. I lead the healthiest lifestyle possible, except for enforcing boundaries. I’m now teaching my children that it’s ok to say no and show anger (something I wasn’t allowed to do growing up). Thank you Mayim and Gabor for this interview ❤😊

[@xingyuyaomt-bc6592]

What are the 4 personality traits? I missed it.

[@mjrotondi5086]

@@xingyuyaomt-bc6592 BECAUSE MAYIM WAS TALKING, a habit I HOPE MAYIM LOSES. 😊

[@lindawallace369]

In a word……🤯!!! I have been struggling with Long Covid and two autoimmune disease triggered by Covid for over two years now. I have been trying to connect the dots to make sense of what has happened to me and how to best optimize my health situation since all that western medicine can do is “treat the symptoms.” I have been reading Gabor Mate’s books for a few months now. I have learned so much! Thank you for this interview because it helped me put things together even more! I am to the point where i can actually say I am glad I got sick in my late 40’s with a Novel virus that had no treatment nor a treatment to Long Covid. Because I was forced to search for my own answers. And what I have found is not only what will make me healthier physically, but emotionally, and spiritually as well! I hope I have learned this early enough to change some of the generational traumas in my family! Time to get to work and do some healing! Thanks again!

[@JadeK67]

you really fell for all the covid propaganda

[@NanetteGreenly]

Something I never hear much about: The father connection. The baby bond. The mother's hormones and babies hormones and their effect on the father. Just all of that and more.

[@jessicad5592]

I am a big fan of Gabor and have watched many of his talks. I had a bit of a hard time with this one, and I had a story that he was often interrupted in this interview. Still appreciate your work!

[@carolebrown4035]

Agreed, excellent but too much interruption. Loved it though.

[@FreckledGemini]

I’m about 30 seconds in and I’m so so so pleased to see this for my consumption. I have soak his words in for about 2 years now. HE. IS. AMAZING.

[@brandy4530]

My mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia when I was 8. All of the other adults in my family made the choice to pretend everything was normal. This was so confusing. My childhood and early adulthood was hellish. I was expected to “help” her, and when she had an episode then I was responsible for that. I developed an autoimmune disease at 21, which made escaping that environment virtually impossible. Even if I got the courage to be the “bad daughter” and leave, I wasn’t physically or financially capable of leaving for a long time. At some point my illness wouldn’t allow me to be taken advantage of anymore, and I had to start saying no. This wasn’t any less stressful in a world that believed I had an obligation to say yes. When I was finally able to leave I started trying to set boundaries. What I learned is that my entire family has a culture that doesn’t allow, me in particular, to use the word no. I guess, too many people would have had to deal with the reality of my mother’s illness, and it was easier to just have me take the brunt, blame me for everything that went wrong, and pretended everything was fine. I used to think everyone was just stupid, or they didn’t get it, but when I started setting boundaries they all started actively lying to me in order to get me to do things I didn’t agree to. Once I was able to create space between me and my family, I’ve realized how dysfunctional they really are, and it shows in our medical history. Every woman in my family, going back 3 generations has had breast cancer. One sister had cancer at 30. There are multiple autoimmune diseases, mental illnesses, and diabetes. I know how to say no now, at 41, and my autoimmune disease has been in remission for years. I just don’t know if it will be enough to prevent whatever disease could come in the future.

[@horu6459]

Thank you for sharing your story. That sounds like a difficult situation and you should be proud that you were able to recognize it and attempt to heal it. Best of luck and good health to you.

[@carolbailey1325]

Back in 2008, after many years of research and reflection, I came to the conclusion that our culture was problematic and in many ways the cause of many conditions, including depression. I wrote an email to Dr. Mate stating this "realization", and within 15 minutes received a reply that I was "correct". I was pleased and delighted, of course, I will never forget. Dr. Mate was already thinking along these lines. This book is a work of both great wisdom and courage. It takes a lot of courage to write a book of TRUTH in this toxic culture.

[@blackhawk8920]

and yet with all of its flaws it has the least amount of conditions for the most people(% wise) that one can not find help in solving or living long enough for it to occur.

[@oceanbreathyogawellness4487]

He had already written "Hold on to Your Kids", "When The Body Says No", and "In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts" before that and the work he was doing here in Vancouver was the go to for anyone wanting to support healing in the community. Luckily now a mere 25 - 30 years later...ahem...he is being heard. Any of us he were seeing and feeling this and understanding what he was saying (as you noticed back then) are now breathing a sigh of relief that we finally have reached a time when everyone is open to hearing and he along with others are putting forward their life's work at just the right moment.

[@Shirumoon]

@@oceanbreathyogawellness4487 Have you read his newest book and would you still recommend reading the older ones as well? I don't have that much time to read and a way too long to-read list so I have to choose wisely!

[@cosudu3002]

Wow.......I'm sitting here crying because my reality has just been explained. To put words to what I am going through is a sort of relief in itself. Thank you for having Dr. Mate on your podcast!

[@CapitolYaSa]

Mayim- you ARE making a difference. I continue to learn from you and Jonathan and Bev. This was so amazing. The world of Gabor Mate colliding with Mayim's podcast 😍😍😍 I couldn't believe my eyes I LOVE YOU. Thank you for this amazing podcast. Can't wait to read the book.

[@MayimBialik]

His book is mind-blowing. Can't recommend it enough! Thanks so very much for watching, Yasa, and for the kind feedback!!! 🧠🫶

[@lisasommerlad1337]

@@MayimBialik I am so proud of you. You started doing your own little do it yourself KZbin videos,. You share your pain and joys, letting us fall in love with you on so many levels. You are so brave, and I get to look up to you, even though I am older. That night sound arrogant, sorry,. Anyway, you inspire me, a neurodivergent stranger, in Australia. I honour your courage.

[@numbernine3436]

I can honestly say that having learned who and having access to Gabor Mate' is the best thing I have gotten from modern technology. As a girl growing up in Mississippi I'm not sure I would have learned about this phenomenal man and his wisdom. I read a lot, I was actually fascinated by psychology and really anything relating to medicine. Being raised in the south in the 70s & 80s I didn't realize women could be anything other than a teacher, a mom, a hairdresser etc. Typical female positions at that time. Had I had access to Mr Mate's knowledge I truly believe my life would be entirely different. Thank you for passing on your knowledge.

[@user-jz6pn8ez5c]

She’s cool and positive but I wish she would just ask a question and let Doctor Mate finish his sentences. She often interrupts and speaks over him. I’m eager to hear everything he has to share with us. Not all her long winded comments about her and her issues. Let the brilliance of this man shine and be heard…please!

[@idalia8119]

Thank you guys for this interview. It would have been even more wonderful and enriching if Mayim could let Gabor speak and finish his ideas/sentences, he has too much value things to say and she keeps interrupting him and just trying to keep this about herself :(

[@Dzanarika1]

She annoys me with constant interruptions and her loud tone of voice.

[@littleflower23]

I don't know if I can make it through this interview - as much as I want to hear what Dr. Mate has to say. Mayim cannot stop talking and it's quite annoying. I imagine I'll come back to this video to hear the wisdom he has to share. But for now, and only being 25 minutes in, I have to take a break. She's quite a know-it-all.

[@scrapshappen]

I have been following Dr. Maté's work for YEARS -- and yes, the Myth of Normal is my "theory of everything" too -- another companion book that goes with this theory is "It Didn't Start With You" by Mark Wolynn -- he takes the wholistic mind/body/emotions up another level to the whole Generational Trauma -- something that Dr. Maté refers to in many of his books. Yup -- it is not just MY sh*t I am dealing with - but Mom's and Grandma's too -- but that's OKAY -- because by becoming a pattern breaker I am helping future generations. Anyway, thank you for talking to one of my favourite Canadians! It is also freaking amazing watching Mayim healing and growing in REAL TIME. Your openness and vulnerability will help reach so very many.... Thank you, Thank you ....

[@MayimBialik]

Big YES to pattern breaking!!! Thanks so much for sharing, Elizabeth, and for watching this one!

[@bodhisilva7251]

I will listen in little bits with breaths in between so as to calmly receive what Gabor has to share. My compassion goes out to Mayim as she moves through this meeting & later reflects upon what was occurring for her. Wow!🙏🏽

[@interrhian6065]

I audibly gasped when I saw this come up on my feed… This is one of my most treasured podcasts…. And Dr Gabor’s books have quite literally changed my life! So seeing you together, my worlds have collided! What beautiful minds you both have ❤ thank you so, so much for this. What a gift of an episode

[@bubiesparkles]

Love that you all emphasized the importance of letting go of the labels/diagnoses/narratives that support the continuation of illness. Would be great to see an episode on this very point. It's not to say labels/diagnoses aren't helpful -- it's just not the entire story and can lead to a person feeling very stuck like they have been given a life sentence of "this is who I am and it will never get better."

[@nancun2837]

Dr Mate is a place in my heart that’s helped me in so many ways. Recently I adopted an abandoned and abused dog. She’s learned trust, loyalty and most importantly happiness. So I’ve learned that we may all be able to adjust, no matter whatever past traumas.

[@Saavycupcake]

That’s so beautiful. Thank you for giving this pup the love it deserves. Love to you

[@nancun2837]

@@Saavycupcake but Who saved who? I needed to give her the love and care as much as she needed this. I didn’t know that I was missing her in my life, until she got here. Huge PLUS shared by both equally

[@kimlarso]

Dogs teach us to just kick dirt over the s**t and carry on…..too forgive but remember the lessons=The inability to ‘Let Go’ is the cause of most all human misery=Just feed the good wolf the most😉

[@joansloyer5245]

Me too .. my rescue is the live of my life and yours too... No doubt. They heal is... We had them 🐾💙🐾💙

[@jenniferbaxter5870]

That was by far the most important one of these broadcasts you two have ever done. I am so grateful. I battled cancer this past year and am still struggling with post op dysfunctions and other health issues. I had my gallbladder out a couple of weeks ago. I’ve been reading about the correlation between stress and disease and cancer and trauma. This information is groundbreaking and needs to be normalized. If we can make our environment less traumatic maybe we all have a chance to thrive as a society. Thank you for all your good work. You two are relationship goals and I aspire to manifest a partner who will support me and grow with me the way you two thrive together. Love and light. 🙏💗🥰

[@MayimBialik]

Wow - thanks so much for sharing your inspiring journey, Jennifer. Yes, we must normalize this important convo! Sending you well wishes for healing across the board.

[@ildikojakab641]

Omg, Dr. Máté!!! When I listen to him I'm so proud that he is from my country! Nowadays there are not too many things I can be proud of as a Hungarian, but he's one of them.

[@AndiSzilagyi]

I feel the same😊

[@ildikojakab641]

@@AndiSzilagyi right?😊

[@Bailey2006a]

I love his son , Aaron, and learned of his father through following him . This was an extraordinarily enlightening interview. Well done!

[@eemoogee160]

I'm a fan of Aaron's bold journalism as well.

[@maepie]

Whenever I try to speak with a practitioner about severe, chronic childhood traumas, they quickly shut it down. I know my INFJ personality type, my Hoshimotos, ADHD, scoliosis, and myriad of pelvic disorders are linked to trauma. The symptoms of cPTSD overlap with the symptoms of those things. I can map the disconnection from self back 4 generations. Additionally, trauma is extremely isolating. The more trauma is understood, the less socially isolating and more clinically treatable it will become.

[@kesmarn]

How lovely it would have been if Dr. Mate had been allowed to speak uninterrupted.

[@alzabeesww]

I disagree. Often Dr. Mate seems very flat in certain interviews. In this setting, I found him more in touch with his humor and easily rolling with the punches. I did not find it detracted at all to be to have a conversational setting. There are plenty of lectures and videos on KZbin where he speaks uninterrupted.

[@KTheOne]

I saw your comment and thought you were probably being harsh but good God was she annoying with the constant interruption. I get that she's a high energy person but the least you can do is let him finish answering your question before you interject

[@marinahoffmann1023]

This is her channel, she does things her own way. If someone doesn’t like it fair enough, but they are free to listen to Dr. Maté on other platforms, there is always a choice, why choosing to criticize and bring down another human being? It’s the very opposite of what he’s talking about, of the core of his thinking…

[@KTheOne]

@@marinahoffmann1023 we chose to criticize her poor handling of the interview not bring in anyone down. In case you’re unaware, criticism evaluates the merits AND demerits of a thing so why is it when the critique isn’t inherently positive it’s automatically labeled as attempting to bring them down? Neither of us did any such thing. If you as an interviewer will not let the interviewee actually answer the questions YOU asked, you have failed as an interviewer. It’s just that simple. Nobody’s telling her to change how she does things so if that’s how she does things and y’all like it then so be it. But that doesn’t mean that it’s good and it doesn’t deprive us of the right to say that we don’t like it regardless of how you feel about it.

[@kesmarn]

@@marinahoffmann1023 ... Says the person whose goal in this comment is to make someone else feel unwelcome and dismissed.

[@whipwalk]

I see so many people say she interrupts, but she is clearly excited. GB is a blessing to us all and she gets to talk to him. Lucky her. Plus she keeps him on track and gives feedback during the conversation. I am more bother by the commercials. lol

[@ericadenison1019]

Thank-you Mayim for this very personally and spiritually enriching interview of Gabor Mate, who is as kind, humble and thoughtful in person as he appears in interviews. If you ask him about one of his favorite bookstores I likely will say one is Banyan Books in Vancouver BC, where I have seen him quietly sitting on of the stores chairs reading, he is a life long learner who inspires others to do the same. I am holding the vision Gabor Mate is compulsory reading and watching for policy makers, nurses, doctors, psychiatrists, and psychologists. As well as Emotional Intelligence by Dr. Daniel Goleman who writes extensively about the importance of the dance of emotional attunement between caregivers and babies, to the optimal emotional/psychological wellbeing of the child.

[@joan6984]

Later.

[@sybilvazquez3339]

I relate and also am a lifelong learner hungry for answers and healing from my own multiple traumas. I find Dr. Mate so very comforting.

[@ericadenison1019]

@@sybilvazquez3339 Hi Sybil yes life long learning is very fulfilling and the knowledge builds and you keep growing in wonderful ways. I agree Dr. Mate's voice and his compassionate empathetic personality is very comforting.

[@katescreativejourney]

I'm barely 15 minutes in and am absolutely getting this book! I first ran across Maté in a TikTok that just blew me away with the connections he made. That led me to read "When the Body says No." I love that he's pushing back against conventional "wisdom" with uncomfortable truths!

[@beckynelson6786]

A truly excellent podcast.Have been a fan of Gabor Maté for a while now.Everyone needs to read that book. My father was put in a home,run by nuns.His parents said they had to put him there because they had to build their business and couldn't afford to look after him.They took him back but he was severely traumatized and spent a large part of his life trying to win his parents' approval; it was heartbreaking for him.

[@kimlarso]

Attachment theory is huge……Abandonment is an all too common trauma laid upon many generations beginning w how common divorce is…..

[@sw_vegn]

New the channel...Mayim seems nervous, which is a little unsettling for me-something for me to review about my own comfort. Anxious people create a vibration of unease for me. While I appreciate the mirror moment I would have enjoyed this more had she been more respectful and less interruptive. Otherwise, my belief system is aligned with hers for sure. Thank you for this information from this amazing man, Dr. Maté.💙🙏

[@janjorden4086]

I was unsettled by the fact that you as the host interrupted and dominated the conversation with guest. This brilliant man was not allow to give us the gift of his experience and knowledge There is one principle here: one is the Guest and one is the Interviewer and the interviewer is to ask questions and listen to the answers ...... to create the space where the guest can be heard. Please do so...I understand how excited you were to talk with him..kindly listen...I'm a therapist and when I feel I'm talking too much in a session...I pull back to hold the space for my patient...Dr, Jan wilson

[@lovev9904]

I'm an Independent Latino. Thank you Mayim!! I love Dr. Gabor!!

[@Historian212]

Yay, FINALLY! Have been so hoping you would feature Dr. Maté on the podcast! I took a weekend workshop he gave on Compassionate Listening, it was incredible to see him work with participants and to do the exercises myself. Did you know that he's actually a very funny guy? You'd never know it from what he talks about, usually, but his sense of humor in the midst of all the trauma -- his own and others' -- was so inspiring. THANK YOU so much for featuring him. One thing, with great affection and respect: Mayim, when you get excited about a guest, you can really interrupt and talk over them incessantly. It makes it harder to stay focused on the guest. At one point, you asked him to repeat himself to emphasize a point, but then you interrupted him while he did so. You were also doing the "Correct!" and "Uh-huh" stuff so much that I wondered if you kept in mind that this was a podcast, and not a private conversation. I get it, and part of why many of us love you is that you are so open, honest, etc. But I wonder if, sometimes, you could turn off your mic while the guest is talking, so that you can "Uh-huh" along without breaking into the guest's flow on the recording. I totally understand your enthusiasm for Gabor's book, and for his work in general. (The documentary is also amazing, everyone should see it.) As someone who, like you, has complex PTSD (diagnosed), as well as later traumas (9/11 witness, etc.), I'm a huge fan and am so glad you're promoting him. It's just that the continual interruptions made it painful, sometimes (not triggering). Thanks for considering, and thanks again for all you do to promote a humane view of humans.

[@CapitolYaSa]

What a lovely post @historian212!

[@cherelann]

As the podcast progressed, I, too, was becoming annoyed by the interruptions. We love you, Mayim, but Historian212 gave some great ideas on making these events more listenable:).

[@gretchencole296]

Historian212 referred to what documentary?

[@numbernine3436]

I've NEVER seen anyone interrupt this brilliant man so much. Who is the guest here? I realize she is a smart lady but dang why did you invite him?

[@zedonutube]

I wish the lady would allow us to hear from Dr. Mate more.

[@MsJenButler]

For children whose needs are not met and have subconsciously learned very early on not to ask for anything from their environment, they learn to ignore their own needs. Some of us don't actually learn how to sleep through the night. We develop lifelong insomnia, we stayed up all night at five years of age listening to our parents sleep, making sure they were still breathing and alive, listening to the world outside our window, worrying about every noise that might signal danger of the world coming to an end. Some of us never learned to self soothe ourselves back to sleep, or we don't learn how to self regulate or we develop personality disorders. It's a vicious cycle of triggers/reactions and it can take a LONG time to rewire our brains and learn new patterns of being in this world. It can be done though, and we can break the cycle, and help alleviate our own suffering and those we love. Thank you for this amazing podcast!!!!

[@Dzanarika1]

Awesome comment, Jennifer.

[@yohan9747]

Your words of love and compassion are reaching France! I am doing all I can to overcome my trauma and deal with my loved ones following the wisdom of Dr Mate. Thanks for everything!

[@AbeSmith2000]

If performative interruption wasn't a thing, it is now. Difficult to watch with the constant interruption.

[@irisshachak3403]

Please let him speak ❤

[@tammykbrbmaltan3005]

Met him in our tony First Nation community on the east coast of Canada. He is a treasure and so calming.

[@tammykbrbmaltan3005]

Tiny… not tony lol

[@yeahciara]

Great to hear this valuable information that could have a tremendous impact on society. Gentle suggestion: Let him talk more ~ no need to respond to everything.

[@kellyscarborough751]

Great interview - can’t wait to read this book! As a practitioner and student of energy medicine, I have long maintained that most illness stems from an emotional source.

[@tamarakroonen8148]

Than you also have heard of German New Medicine?

[@brendadavis5391]

I'm so happy you are into energy healing. I've just learned in the past few years about the mind and illness connection: plus, energy healing. You are ahead of most people.

[@sybilvazquez3339]

Amen! I have been helped by holistic health since 1991 including energy medicine. I have been so helped. I use biosurveys and light therapy and get energy work from my reflexologist/massage therapist.

[@cf7928]

Always inspiring to hear Dr. Maté speak. Would be wonderful to not have him constantly being interrupted by the host. His words and wisdom are so valuable, this host needs to practice active listening.

[@annmarieknapp2480]

I need this book. A fellow neuroscientist here and from what I've heard from Dr. Mate, it sounds like we are all the sum of environmental impacts on our interoceptive awareness and our consciousness. This is a massive zeitgeist change!!! I have a few autoimmune conditions and have lived a fair trauma filled life. More trauma in my adult years. It makes so damn much sense.

[@LO-hr2wr]

I have listened to Gabor in many interviews and the interactions here have truly brought forth new insights in a way that I had not heard in other interviews with Gabor. Loved seeing the interactions between the 3 of you. Really hope he comes back to speak with you in person. Thank you for this episode!

[@brendadavis5391]

I agree.

[@sybilvazquez3339]

Agree

[@udalimb384]

This supports so many heated discussions I've had with my family. Me saying that spanking, in particular, was abuse. Also, when I worked in a 2 year old room at a day care, there were many diapers. My favorite time with those children was diaper change. With all the activity, there were few times for me to have one on one eye contact and interpersonal time with them. I just also have to say, I have given myself the mantra: We do the best that we can with what we have. It could be easy for people who have not done base work in these areas to rage or just not understand what you are teaching. Work from where you are.

[@melissawilkes5618]

I'm so glad you have found him too, I'm a health and wellbeing coach for the NHS in the UK. I use Dr Gabor Mate's teachings to train behaviour change and improve quality of their lives. I love this guy!!!! X

[@HH-gv8mx]

This was the first time I’ve ever heard of him. But everything he said made sense and spoke to me. I wonder if is bookworm whatever platform he uses could help me since I cannot afford therapy. I am in an abusive relationship. I have spent all of my savings on the surgeries that I had to have for my boyfriend breaking my bones. Now I have an auto immune disease I’m super sick and I cannot kick him out of my house because they just doubled my rent. But I know staying with him is making me really ill.

[@tmcoug1]

Gabor has never given up. There's something to be said about that here. My understanding is that for a long time he thought he could only help others with his work and not himself. He was somehow too damaged, but Gabor continued. So it isn't always putting self first, it's observation, an open mind and seeking; listening. As we help others our own healing ensues. Including giving more than we have - with the right intentions and motivations. When I've done everything I can to bring myself back to wholeness and run out of real knowledge or understanding, I stop, focus on others without expectation, and this creates the space for solutions to arise. So, if I'm giving to others out of fear and desire, neediness? Likely I won't get what I need. It's always right there in my periphery, but the apparatus to sense it is off-line. If I'm giving while attending to my needs and expressions, everything beneficial arises. Gabor is a blessing, and so is his dear wife, Rea. Marriage is a challenge, not a faerie tale. ;)

[@kimlarso]

Agree, but none of what we can learn from Dr Mate will be life changing without realizing Food must be thy FIRST MEDICINE!

[@TeddieBuddhaBear]

Thank you all for the work you do! 💚🙏😊 Raised in dv, alcoholic, food/financial insecure, prison, depression = CPTSD 😞 3 mo into a 12 step

[@karendavidson6272]

Good for you.

[@hangryrabbit2023]

I love hearing Dr. Maté speak. I have followed him and read his books for years. I get very agitated when he is constantly interrupted by Mayim's need for "one up-ing" him to focus on herself. Dear Mayim, if you really want to help others with this podcast, PLEASE! Consider why you have this compulsive need to turn every conversation into a spotlight about your psyche, your suffering, your wounds; these constant 'humble brags' (or straight-out brags) that you know everything he is going to say before he says it, that you don't really need him there except to give yourself a platform... I think what you want to share with these podcasts is important. Very much so! But your need to overshadow your guests is really off-putting.

[@floozyify]

Exactly what I was thinking, thank you for putting it so nicely and succinctly, the "one upmanship" almost made me stop watching. Yes you are extremely smart Mayim, but please let the man speak, ask questions, and then listen.

[@Dzanarika1]

She is very annoying with her body language, acts like a man at a bar.

[@tanisdavis7316]

Exactly! When he thanked her for the introduction she smirked pridefully rather than saying thank you. I would have enjoyed hearing him talk rather than hearing her self-absorbed analysis.

[@laraoneal7284]

HungryRabbit I said the Same thing. Pls LET DR MATE’ talk please

[@cheryljacobson1429]

I have Graves’ disease. The endocrinologist asked me if i had an emotional upset in the past 3 months & i said yes i did

[@leonielouise2507]

Beautiful talk, I like the authenticity and humor of the host, only a pity that she constantly tries to make it about her and interrupts him many times instead of giving him the space.

[@gavkimburnhams3744]

That's just her personality. And he accommodates it so gracefully 😍

[@leonielouise2507]

@@gavkimburnhams3744 yes he does it amazingly

[@LauraGonzalez-lb2uu]

That’s what I felt as well…her making it about herself. Hard to watch. He’s very patient.

[@Cindy-zq8tk]

Yes, I agree, I hate to be a jerk but honestly, I hope she reads these comments and learns something about interrupting her guest and it's almost as if she is taking everything he says and looks at her husband like "see, I have been saying this forever" . Let the guy have his moment and don't try to act like you knew it all along and the whole interview is for your benefit. It's not your therapy session. I couldn't stand it but wanted to hear him so I had to leave this interview and go find him on a better interview.

[@elainemcgregor1240]

I also was wondering if I could hear him express in a more tolerable context.

[@alisasaunders5233]

This episode gave me the scientific "proof" for what I have always intuitively known to be true! I followed my intuition about trauma healing and later raising my child and I was literally told I was crazy. Gabor Mate M.D. (along with other great minds & hearts) has opened so many doors to us and you are helping to spread the word and hold discussion and learn in a way that has not been accessible to many, until now. Thank you!!!

[@BellaYC93]

This is the best interview with Dr. Gabor Mate! I love that they both read the book and ready to interview him with thoughtful questions and actually engage with him. Dr. Gabor Mate’s energy is also different in this one compare to other interviews/podcasts he did, more engaging as well and higher energy. I’m watching this for the third time now❤

[@zenwarrior1984]

Gabor maté and “Blossom” and some other guy… how can you not love this? ❤❤❤

[@Intelligent_Compassion]

OMG so glad HES FINALLY GETTING THE RECOGNITION HE DESERVES....DR GABOR AND HIS SON ARE ABSOLUTELY FASCINATING