How To Achieve Secure Attachment Fast (NOT "Self-Improvement").

WHAT ATTACHMENT STYLE ARE YOU?
Take the quiz: bit.ly/4LuvStylesYT
========
Let me guess, you have done more than your fair share of a little digging into the self-improvement and personal development niche, tried all the tips and tricks, and done everything RIGHT.
And yet, you still find yourself struggling with finding the kind of love life and/or partner that you want.
And it's driving you a little crazy, because NOTHING seems to be working like it should.
“Just stop wanting [whatever you want] and then it will find you.”
Pfft.
Riiiiiight.
How’s that going for you?
Frustrating, I know.
If you’re interested in finding out why that’s the case, this video is for you.
In my community, I get a lot of questions like,
“Why am I still single when I’ve been doing everything right?”
“How can I heal myself so I can finally find and deserve a secure partner?”
“I can go from insecure to secure if attachment styles can change?”
If you continue to approach it from this perspective, like an A to B equation, it will take a LONG time to get to where you’re going.
If you’re trying to find felt security FAST, and avoid spending a ton of time, money, and heartache doing it, you have to shift your perceptions of what it means to be “secure.”
To learn more, checkout the video!
⭐WANT TO LEARN MORE? ⭐
Take the attachment styles quiz:
bit.ly/4LuvStylesYT
*********************************
OTHER WAYS TO CONNECT…
Join our community on Instagram.
👉 @brianamacwilliam 🌎
👉 @brianamacwilliam 🌎
👉 @brianamacwilliam 🌎
*********************************
Website: www.brianamacwilliam.com/

[@uriesuh9431]

For the life of me I still can’t wrap my head around why you don’t have a million+ subs. You are the most articulate and creative therapy solution based person I ever came across. Thank you Briana for all this and you continuing to share your insightful help to all💕💎😊.

[@brianamacwilliam.attachment]

Urie Suh Thank you for watching and for sharing such warm feedback. The subscribers will come ;-) slow and steady wins the race 😉🙏❤️

[@63amyc]

@It ́s not what you think This is exactly what I was going to say. I’ve shared her videos with people who say they don’t get it. Or it sounds like new age crap or whatever. I think that’s why.

[@horsehangout]

I agree!

[@jordanlevitt1638]

I like how you portray being secure as a way of acting rather than a way of being, like it's not its own state but a set of behaviours that anyone can really have should they choose to take them on... It's interesting, and makes the whole journey a lot more manageable and realistic rather than changing who we are (which is what I find is the most common portrayal of the topic), essentially

[@horgecondaliza6644]

Yes. It’s practical, I like it

[@romanitza24]

Yes, just that in the same time when you are taken by the overwhelming feeling, are you really able to change your "behaviour"? It seems more manageable and for some types of personalities it may really be, but I, myself, knowing how I am, prefer the longer way, the more difficult way, but the one that would not be me basically controlling my emotions (although, of course, this kind of coping advice can help, come in handy from time to time and we should definetely also learn them as they can be complementary). For me, for the long lasting effect or for genuine healing, there is the longer road that goes through self exploration etc.or a combination of the 2, but, definetely, a thorough self understanding and curing deep wounds works better. Or I may say, it is the only way that, for me, really works. Maybe if the issue at hand is not really strong or big you could just change your behaviour and it would be enough, but if the issue is deep rooted and the feeling you experience is really powerful (for example fear of abandonment or a fear of commitment and eagerness to run), then I think that just changing your behaviour would be unrealistic. Of course , as said before, there are different types of personalities, and it is better to choose what helps and what suits you better. Just be sure it is not a momentary fix, a way of covering deeper wounds. As an example of me not handling things just by "correct" thinking - in one relationship I had such strong fear that he would leave me and such rage that he would not write me, that I could not stop checking the phone obssesively. It was with this only guy that I felt this way, I was usually cool in my other relationships. Of course, I knew this was an exaggeration and I kept telling myself all the right words, but I was taken by the emotions. Digging deeper, there were pains from the past under the whole story and, of course, it had to do with loving oneself and believing and appreciating oneself. So, yes I do not believe in quick fixes for me, although miracles can happen, a sudden consciousness, etc. All is possible. I am, though, open that for others these tips may solve at least some of their problems if not the issue completely. And, I also think that what she says is that, when you have a healthy attachement style, you still feel the worry (sometimes, I may add), it is not that you are made of steel. But, believe me as I was there, there is a completely different feeling. Yes, you may worry, but with a healthier approach this worries only last some minutes, they do not linger, you immediately cast them out, because you are secure in yourself, know who you are, etc. You may still care deeply for that person and the relationship, but you know that eventually you have yourself and that you will be able to cope with whatever and you do not attach desperately to the other person (or run away with the first fears or worries of commitement that may appear - if you are not ready to commit you communicate or you wait and have pacience to see where all this is going, etc.) Maybe, in my case it was because the other 2 guys loved me and I could feel it, but it can also happen that you do not even think about the possibility the other person might leave you, it just does not cross your mind. Well, maybe I was too sure of their love, they had probably a healthy attachement style and if I was something, I was more the avoidant in one of these relationships. And another thing. Someone studying this told me once that you may have diiferent attachement styles depending on the person you are in the relationship with, as it may trigger different things in you. Interesting to think about. It all depends on feelings and how strong they are, I guess, also. The guy with whom I was afraid he would leave had, I believe, a more avoidant style and this triggered my fear of abandonment. Thanks for reading :)

[@marqann]

Total lightbulb, it's also like when you accept how you are wired, it looses its power :-)

[@sharonbeers4621]

The belief, “I am not enough”, is the trigger that drives these attachment styles!! Changing that untrue story, belief, perception is the trigger to be healed. The solutions are not as easy!!!

[@bajolunapod]

TL;DR: You must observe your insecurity from the outside and command yourself not to act on its impulses. Easy to say but really hard to achieve as an anxious person. This was a great insight Briana. Thanks-

[@okabeokuyasu2505]

Hey good synthesis, but I think you miss the key point, which might also be the stepping stone, the final step toward and the most important one toward becoming secure: compassion. If there is one word here I would say it's this one. I think if you have compassion for yourself on thoses moments it means that you've been able to pull yourself out of automaticly indudlging in the behavior, and that you reached toward a wisdom required: you're choosing yourself first. It means a lot I think, and it's a process I thought about it yesterday having not seen the video yet and I know it comes after having being 100% sick of being insecure, willing to do absolutely anything to change might it be quitting everything and going to live in India or whatever. At some point maybe depending on what you experience/read/think you will give this answer: why not be by my side at thoses very moments of defeat ?

[@kme3894]

I found that it is a matter of building good habits one bit at a time, even if you do it by one step forward and two steps back, it is still a tiny progress that might encourage you (usually does) to keep building on it. At the same time, I found that the anxiety-fuelled impulses I have (checking his fb, ruminating and whatnot) are bad habits like nail-biting or stress eating junk food. The more I do it, the more I want to do it and I make myself and others crazy. I found helpful ideas in ocd and addiction management techniques to curb my anxious habits as well. It's tough but the sense of accomplishment and control I get from the tiniest victory is priceless and creates a virtuous cycle that lasts for some time (until I hit a tough spot and regress for a bit 😅, but then it's easier to get back on the track I previously was on)

[@seansull]

So: 1. stop expressing anxious thoughts and start noticing them from a distance, but don’t notice them for too long or you will bottle them up and have trust issues when people ask if you are okay and you say you are 2. tolerate the fact that you have anxious thoughts 3. accept your anxious thoughts 4. ?????

[@krow449]

I just discovered that I have an anxious attachment style and realized that I'm on track towards a secure attachment style because everything I do right now is aimed towards true independence and fulfillment. I appreciate this video for giving me this insight. Thank you

[@AudreyJDiCarlo]

Thank you! May we be patient, May we embrace our light, May we know stability, May we be secure

[@weareallinthis3668]

You’re amazing Alexandra, thank you for sharing

[@chelsiepheenix5036]

Love this

[@maggiemao4813]

Thank you! Just found out about my fearful-avoidant attachment style today. All this time, I’ve been trying to appear like a normal, functioning person by hiding my insecurities, but it never worked out that well, because deep down I knew I was still that highly anxious person, afraid of exposing others to my true emotions. Never actually thought of having a conversation with my anxiety & avoidance until coming across your video, and it clicked very well. Thank you so much for sharing - and I will definitely give it a try!

[@helenaoki5079]

I love your delivery. A lot of videos from relationship gurus can sometimes come off as insensitive and derogatory. This is very informative and tactful.

[@FlyingAum]

ABSOLUTELY BRILLiANT Briana! I watched this 8 times and took notes the entire time. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with the world. You're so spot on, and so articulate and it's so easy for you to weave all these complex emotional states together. You were able to say in this 10 minute video what I've been trying to grasp for 13 years. I practice EFT on myself and clients, and you just shined a much brighter light on worry/anxiety. Thanks to you, I can go much much deeper now. Hallelujah! You can literally apply this wisdom in this video to ALL WORRIES, not just with a relationship. You gave away (for fee) real gems here. I had countless "ah ha" moments while listening to you 8 times, hehe. You are helping take away unnecessary suffering and I am eternally grateful to know you exist. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Thank you for being a warrior, not a worrier :) :) :)

[@rezat.ashtiani1338]

You’re amazing. That’s it. That’s the answer of how to feel secure. Bravo!

[@c.lynnearendtcaleca7775]

excellent example of what an anxious person goes through and how to get through it by connecting to your inner-accept it at the body level--do the inner work and become more inner secure. things that happened to you in childhood or sudden abandonment by deaths have no place 20 years later

[@AStark-dn6yh]

Omg! You explained it! This is exactly what happened in my previous relationship. I was always anxious. And pretended not to be. My words often didn't match my actions. Which spiraled into white lies, which caused her not to trust me. And round and round we went. Untill she ultimately broke up with me 🤦😔 Thank you for the enlightenment. I will chalk it up as, lesson learned.

[@63amyc]

I was with a wonderful man who is as you describe yourself. I saw his soul and his damage. I tried to stay but just finally a month ago had to put my needs above his. Heart wrenching. I still hope that he will somehow do his own work. But I can’t wait for it anymore. He grew so much when we were together ( I did too… I’m anxious becoming secure) but sometimes I wonder if deep inside there really wasn’t growth. Can you speak to that? How was it for you? Was any of the growth real?

[@AStark-dn6yh]

@@63amyc While she and I were together, my growth was minimal unfortunately. I thought at the time I was making good progress. But now I realize I was only taking her for granted. I would tell her that I was taking positive steps to better my situation. And in some ways I was. But with minimal effort. I would tell her things I thought she needed to hear, I would tell her that I was doing much better than I actually was. I would make little changes here and there. But nothing extravagant. I felt uncomfortable and insecure because I was lying. I felt emotionally distant from her. And I didn't like that at all. I tried to hide that as well. I was also getting and giving emotional support to a female friend of mine. I was telling my friend how I was feeling about my girlfriend. I wanted things between my girlfriend and I to get better. I truly loved her. And in many ways I still do. I just made a big mess of things. And I couldn't figure out how to straighten it out. I omitted telling her about my friend. And that later got revealed. All of my lies began to unravel. And it eventually led to the end of our relationship. Sometimes you don't know what you have until it's gone. Only after she left me, did I make a genuine effort to improve my life. I'm doing amazing now, and I've come a long way. I miss her and I wish she could see how well I'm doing now. But unfortunately, I fear the lies were too much, and I waited too long. It's likely too late for us 😔

[@RichardWilliamsRJW]

Thanks for this! - self improvement is such a catch all phrase. Each week im doing a new challenge to "Self Improve" but was looking for motivation on how and what to do.

[@kimberlyschofield5220]

Absolutely brilliant, Breanna. You are a gift. You really get to the heart of the problem and the fix for it without blame. Your explanations are so tangible and logical. What a breath of fresh air!

[@Relahxe]

This is so valuable. Thank you for your videos and I am looking forward to your streams the upcoming weeks!

[@rickaster]

I had wondered for a couple of years how it could be that I looked like and tested as a secure type while feeling like an anxious type. Now it makes perfect sense.

[@brianamacwilliam.attachment]

Rick Aster Thank you for watching and for sharing a bit of your experience. I’m glad it helps.

[@acharich]

I completely relate.. 💯

[@abilashvb6653]

Very clearly delivered information...thanks a lot

[@kyrareneeLOA]

Wow. Very clear! 🦋 Thank you.

[@K4113B4113]

This was surprisingly insightful. I’m impressed!

[@bak6194]

Excellent video. You are a genius. This one will be on repeat.

[@blancarodriguez1340]

Amazing amazing video, Briana! 👏🏼

[@salaams6193]

I've watched COUNTLESS videos on anxious/avoidant stuff, but this video helped me understand the dynamic and WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT on a whole new level. Thank you so much for your work!

[@Cowface]

This sounds an awful lot like mindfulness. It makes me wonder if meditation can play a role in helping form secure attachment

[@SPArtofNoise]

Before watching I was a bit sceptical of how much an 'how to' video could really tell me about becoming secure - it's possibly one of the hardest things! Yet now I feel I both gained some insight and some concrete hope - thank you so much for sharing your insight, encouraging attitude and experience!

[@brianamacwilliam.attachment]

S. P. Thank you for watching and for commenting. I’m glad that you enjoyed the video!

[@Phoenix-kd1we]

Indeed. This is the first person who actually explains it with detail. Thank you.

[@ahamoment3626]

You are amazing in getting right to the root of a problem. 👍👍

[@natalielloyd617]

Amazingly insightful! Thank you for your work!!

[@rachaelmeager3907]

this is PHENOMENALLY valuable. incredible insight. this helped me SO much, thank you Briana for sharing this.

[@Sarafara7]

This video is incredibly helpful. Thank you so so much!

[@SonicDephect]

This is incredibly helpful thank you!

[@zzulm]

I subscribed, your video explained a lot and I feel hopeful

[@sarabovo2151]

: O I am so impressed. This was eye-opening... You know so much : O

[@tiffanyirvin5318]

Well said. Thank you 🙏!

[@Jemima1010]

this was illuminating, thank you so much

[@nohasamir3134]

Very helpful and enlightening... thank you

[@CherryHornet]

Absolutely excellent information. Your delivery makes this so clear. Thank you!

[@brianamacwilliam.attachment]

PhoenixRising I am glad it helps. Thank you for watching and for commenting. 🙏❤️

[@muteqx]

Thank you so much for this!

[@cholalaflor]

In disbelief how you just described me. I've never ever thought of it like this. I don't feel alone!!!!!!!! I'm a textbook Anxious licking my wounds from a textbook avoidant. This gives me hope actuall hope I can reach secure attachments. Wow.

[@kennethworkman3608]

The best way for me to learn is to understand the science and logistics of things. This was amazing and very helpful

[@NicoleHartFrierdich]

You are amazing!! thank you

[@kme3894]

instead of saying to myself (like I used to, trapping myself in hopelessness) "I am an anxious person", I am trying to remind myself that instead, because of certain events in my life, "I am a person who HAS anxiety, but also the ability and willingness to challenge it with micro acts of daily courage" and it does change the perspective over time. I have to monitor it though, as my natural go-to state of mind would be identifying with the symptom. Baby steps and mindfulness ❤

[@dorothywalter7951]

Thank you, thank you, thank you, for verbalizing what I had been thinking but was unable to express!! You just clarified for me a lot of deep seated confusion I have had. You are brilliant, insightful, and an absolute treasure!!! 😍

[@gardenbee1238]

This is so accurate!

[@higherselftarot4304]

Great video, thanks 🙌

[@tiaturnbullchampionscoachi9587]

This is SO powerful and key. Thank you. I am not the worry, I am the observer of the worry! Awesome. The difference between being identifies as and standing back and being in dialogue with something that is not who I am. Brilliant! You are not your thoughts.

[@acdharmaw]

amazing explanation

[@geronimoventi6914]

Witness the worrying thoughts and subsequent feelings, and let them tell you what narrative you're unconsciously living in. You can change the narrative from there, and it feels a lot less painful

[@MzSoulll]

very helpful comment, thank you.

[@PaulGagnon.]

Your brilliant Briana!

[@brianamacwilliam.attachment]

Paul gagnon Thank you for commenting. I’m glad the content has been helpful!

[@msbonnie37]

What a breath of fresh air

[@LJdawk]

You are so spot on! Thank you for this video.

[@brianamacwilliam.attachment]

You are so welcome

[@brianamacwilliam.attachment]

Monica Varela Thank you for commenting. I’m glad the content has been helpful!

[@brianamacwilliam.attachment]

Monica Varela Glad you liked this video! Thank you for commenting.

[@ravishingtwinkle3811]

This is genuine thing I wonder when two lovers are married , isn't it possible that once in a lifetime one can face huge depression and many trouble and be avoidant for prolonged period. I mean we can't be there for anyone unless we are there first for ourselves. I feel sometimes it's not always possible for each partner to connect and keep the other happy , it's important for the other partner to be secure enough to understand it. I have a realistic expectation now from Relationship that no one can be consistently secure for the other partner.

[@shatha8908]

Brilliant!

[@AmandaMG6]

Thank you ❤️🙏🏼

[@Simply_chase]

Thank you, I dont know if it will help us, but I feel better understanding us

[@anyagourley]

Incredible.

[@pamelaj1208]

I really need this question answered. I was in a 22 year marriage with a man who valued his space and was emotionally disconnected. During our separation he would reconnect with me and then completely separate himself from me and blame me for it. 2.5 years later I was spending time with a new man. I sensed him pulling away but he did not communicate why. I had such a powerful, visceral reaction. It caught me off guard. I told him how I was feeling and what I needed. The new man walked away. I do not want to repeat this. Its very painful. Outside of romantic relationships I feel secure and love and value myself. I know what I need and am not afraid to ask for it. Will I ever be able to not push men away? 💔

[@miguelzorro7631]

Relax it's not you, give the time to know more people and find the right one

[@idesireit31]

He did you a favour. He wasnt serious or had his own issues.

[@TNord.]

Have you looked at your Meyers-briggs type? If you are an ENFP or NF in general you might try to find other NF types and avoid SJ types as a starting point. Not to say all SJ relationships are bound to be problematic, but if you want someone to understand your emotions and not feel overwhelmed, and actually appreciate your honesty, then it’ll be much easier with an empath, ENFJs are awesome too.

[@joannelewis8038]

Thank you ❤️

[@Qihello]

really really good and insightful

[@brianamacwilliam.attachment]

Jacqueline Glad you liked this video! Thank you for commenting.

[@Kid_Ikaris]

Profound

[@yomikosburger]

this was a banger

[@sarareedcoaching1313]

Brilliant

[@ellethegal4831]

Wow, subscribed!!!!

[@missthang1577]

Thank you. This is extremely to the point and very helpful. By the way...I think I have anxious and disorganized attachment styles because of my upbringing. Is that possible?

[@thebiosphere8349]

Genius

[@stevenkralljr987]

Brianna this video is AMAZING!?

[@brianamacwilliam.attachment]

Steven Krall Jr Thank you for watching and for commenting. I’m glad that you found it useful!

[@Mimilamims]

🤯 Hello, I’m not sure if you’re going to read this, but this was game-changing for me. You spoke to the fabric of my being, and I have work to do! Thank you VERY much !

[@valentinajerenec3511]

Holy shit, this is GOLD!

[@brianamacwilliam.attachment]

Valentina Jerenec 💛💝✌ glad it resonates!

[@roots4140]

This video is making me anxious. Lol

[@edithhsedits226]

OMG my brain hurts lol soo much info and super helpful!! ☺️

[@idesireit31]

Yes, a bit too convuluted for me. Not concise enough.

[@63amyc]

This is fantastic. So does that groove in your brain ever heal? Or do we just have to do things as though it’s not there and eventually it won’t matter that it’s still there? Will our brain and sympathetic nervous system ever be “normal?”

[@vixenvalenzuela]

Wow what a revelation

[@laurenwatson3841]

Thank you very good explanation. I feel like a "healed anxious" attachment, I've done lots of work to get where I am. But I just ended a relationship with someone who has a "disorganized" (fearful avoidant) style. I honestly couldn't keep going with it. My boundaries were disregarded, I was being pushed away but yet we were very intimate with each other. Had amazing times but then she kept asking if my friends knew about her and wanting me to be "all in" a month into the relationship. I knew where it was all coming from, I could see right through the behaviour into the wounds but I still had to let her go. What can I learn from this?

[@kpaxian6044]

I am the avoidant type but it plays out atypically because I can be quite friendly. But now I have many secure traits. Yay progress. I also have anxiety in general but it does not play out as an anxious attachment style, my anxiety plays out as avoidant. (Not ghosting though...I just find that rude. XD)

[@spantibel31]

Sorry, can i know what's the step to heal an anxious attachment?

[@geronimoventi6914]

Hey, Brianna. So many people insist that the most effective/efficacious way to secure your attachment is by being in a relationship with a secure partner. How much should someone take that for truth? Thank you!

[@ernestorod12]

It's a little late for me now that me and my partners' impulses took control and ended our relationship. But at the same time I'm glad to learn from these videos and realize we should be more compassionate to each other. Thank you Briana!

[@tintinpenaredondo6531]

What attachment style you are? I am SA.

[@ernestorod12]

@@tintinpenaredondo6531 I'm an amxious trying to become more secure... I want to be the change I wanna see. I hate havong so many impulses

[@tintinpenaredondo6531]

@@ernestorod12 I see... You analyses everything in a relationship and want to be organized and you wanted to earned the love from others is it right?

[@ernestorod12]

@@tintinpenaredondo6531 yeah

[@tintinpenaredondo6531]

@@ernestorod12 were the same and trying to reprogramming my Subconscious mind. Find my self-love,self-worth and self-value. Try not to please people or making validation to my bf which we are longing as Anxious Attachment.

[@really5660]

This is so exhausting

[@TomatoAddict]

I’m ambivalent as fuck I’m the kid who will reach their hands up to be held and comforted, but no matter how much soothing I get or how hard I hug back, I can’t be consoled.

[@andrewboyddotcom]

So I ended it four months ago out of self respect. As you see below I was in the friend zone. So about a week ago I asked her for one of her recipes to which she replied with a video. Happy with that. Much too quickly - four days - much too quickly... I sent her a photograph of my cat nicely perched on a cushion gift she gave me for Christmas. To which I got this reply. "Andy I wld appreciate if you wld refrain from sending me anymore texts. I am trying to move on from this painful period in my life and it does not help when you approach me and text me. Your wish was to end our friendship and I have honoured that and I only ask that you allow me to move on. Thank you." Well I'm privileged that she admits it has been painful for her. She's an Avoidant and I'd been feeling ill treated for a long time. I actually felt she had done all but dump me. I think the best thing to do is to leave this for a few weeks even a month or so and come up with a reply. The question is... what reply. I love her dearly and have immense compassion for her. Stick around for further installments.

[@otterchaos666]

So how do you get rid of the insecurities in the body? With special exercises?

[@haleynic]

Would it be okay if I talk to my partner about how I'm feeling?

[@JaydeNicolexx]

I’m really depressed not doing well at all . I don’t understand my feelings and my hurt I dunno how to heal myself can you help me maybe I need counseling Ty

[@zf5214]

I feel like I finally understand myself. I've never been in a romantic relationship despite desperately wanting love - I always sabatoge my chances no matter how much I like the person. The idea of someone loving me back like that scares me. But now I found someone I truly, really love, and it's unlike anything I've ever experienced. I feel myself wanting to push them away the more I want to keep them close. So basically...therapy time

[@brianamacwilliam.attachment]

Thank you for commenting and for sharing your experience, Gina. Sending you well wishes on your journey.

[@MonaLisaFaceMusic]

It just feels like being with someone avoidant is pointless, yet he claims to love me.

[@xanameuris8680]

Same..

[@johnhatton730]

its a rollercoaster, is it worth it?

[@bouncybutterfly7753]

It’s pointless.

[@acharich]

It's really not easy at all.. 😕

[@Eg-jd9zt]

It’s toxic honestly. Let them go

[@acharich]

3:59 😂😤😂 Very relatable.. 💯 Been learning to do this.. 🎯 - @Acharich

[@dartcree8185]

Tried the quiz: Had to just pick an answer to go on. NONE of the answers fit me. Indeed, while the names vary there are always four -- secure, avoidant, disorganized and anxious. You need another. Basically these are 4 ways to play the relationship game. There's a fourth way: "Don't play" Don't have relationships at all. Have shallow intellectual associations, but don't feel anything strongly for anyone. This is not rare in the CPTSD circle. I've take a bunch of variants of this test. I always get about 30% secure and the rest more or less equally split.

[@georgesontag2192]

Just don't give a crap about them and you become secure. Write down 5 things you don't like about them and dwell on them. It's works just fine.

[@TRU3-LOV3]

You can’t rid yourself of the feeling. you can only have endless compassion for it and not act on the anxiety…so that might mean meeting your needs in such an intimate and safe way. You must accept that that people are beyond our control even when they know we are struggliiiiing…the blessing is you will not abandon yourself…you will have compassion you can and you will…they can leave or they can stay…several times…but you must stay in there and hang in there fully present and compassionate towards yourself 💗💗💗💗💗

[@SahilTayal]

I wish I get to meet you in person

[@hannahviolet927]

Youre out here talking about titration like we all remember chemistry 😂

[@cringtertainment970]

❤️❤️🙏🏽

[@globalmark3300]

Briana - My avoidant partner broke up exactly how you say in this video at 7:30 ,(i am 50/50 anxious and secure becoming more secure daily) so do you have a video on how to get back with a Avoidant EX - or whats the best one to watch ? - i gave space/no contact and she reached out after 3 weeks , after light chat it finished and i went back no contact but didnt hear anything for further 5weeks so i reached out she replied and 2-3 texts light again - whats best way to proceed

[@johnhatton730]

hey globalmark, whats the update, im in a similar situation. One month since the breakup, 3 weeks NC

[@globalmark3300]

@@johnhatton730 Hi John - after the light contact , she didnt reply much as maybe i sent again to many message every 2-3 days 1-2 so i am doing like 1 week no contact then try again light pressure free message , trying to see the response patterns type and content of message she likes - have you looked personal development school channel (also torontonumber1 date doc) google deal with avoidents mainly .. - stay strong and from my understanding is about 6week plus they start miss you . have look those channels and site but i am confused also so many people say light contact then other say No contact ..

[@johnhatton730]

@globalmark Yeah, Im not sure breaking no contact is best. Why should we chase someone that doesn’t want to be in our lives? Wouldn’t that cause their emotional attraction for us to decrease? I do want her back and hope she reaches out but Im uncertain about breaking NC. I did see that DAs don’t miss the person till about the 6 week mark so we shall see.

[@globalmark3300]

@@johnhatton730 John i was no contact after 3 weeks she reached out and had nice chat then i abruptly left and thought she would reach out again but as i understand a Avoidant (DA) and mine is a INFJ thats quite unlightly to reach out - but i had not learned that yet so i went back no contact and after 5 weeks nothing so i reached out a light message and she responded nice , but i think i then pushed to much and gone quiet again - i should stuck 1 message a week to start with i think . - But from what i have read JOHN yes your only 3 week in so maybe leave till that 6 week mark and if not heard from her then try a small light pressure free message - work on self , fix own issues as much as can etc and learn all you can .. check out the personal development school here also lots on attachments - hope that helps mark

[@johnhatton730]

@ globalmark Sounds like a plan. She did reach out with an indirect/direct message after one week but i pressed to hard and she went silent. What do you define as a light message? Can you give me an example. Still not sure if Ill hear from her again but in case I do I would like to be prepared.

[@lionatticus9743]

So, what I am hearing is that if people would just communicate things correctly things would be okay. Lol.

[@celiaescalante]

I hate being the anxious one and being so attracted to the avoidants!!! I want to be myself and be attracted to my good match. This is so frustrating. (He kisses a girl on the mouth in front of me and neither one of us is his girlfriend and he knew I was in love with him.) It took 11 men in a tantra speed dating event that lasted three hours to have one day without the urge to contact him!

[@mathews0618]

An insecure partner is tension. Thats what it feels like around them. You can feel their stressful energy..

[@STAY5161]

5:00

[@thisgustin]

3:50

[@nmgvise7111]

4:28

[@sus5434]

bruh... she skipped her usual intro. i am getting a sense of urgency o_o either that or this was taken from a stream lol

[@lisbeth4you]

Right, that or being Buddha, then we don’t even have to have relationships anymore 🤭🙃

[@brianamacwilliam.attachment]

Thank you for watching and for leaving a comment. You might find this video interesting. If I Can Meet My Own Needs, Why Be in Relationship? + 3 Steps to Release Suffering in Love kzbin.info/www/bejne/p5_EnK2qqNRogrc

[@PriyankaGupta-ew1li]

😂

[@HisaLight2mypath]

The way I healed myself is having a personal relationship with God He is the one and only secure attachment nobody else. I didn't really understand anything you said in the video all I know is Jesus can help.

[@joncharles2468]

Off topic but, do you have OCD? Is that rude of me to ask?

[@jwest9155]

This is so vague and cannot be used on a practical level