Checklist of 10 Items Needed to Become Secure

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In this video I'll talk about the fearful avoidant version of the core wound "I am excluded" and the importance of goals during isolation.
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Lastly, if you’re interested in shorter form content and tips, follow my Instagram page! @personaldevelopment_school
I post every other day, and you'll find some completely new content there :)
Thank you for watching!

[@samsungbackup3619]

This is confirmation that I am now securely attached. Wow... this is amazing

[@Fifikaydot]

Love this!!

[@aaronlo]

Congratulations! That’s a huge accomplishment

[@thuytrangngophan8375]

aww congratulations!!! ≧∇≦💕

[@johannaj1522]

How did you do it??😭

[@samsungbackup3619]

@@johannaj1522 I focused on healing my Inner Child. I acknowledged childhood trauma and gave my inner child a voice. I acknowledged the parts of myself that I once denied. The healing shifted my attachment style

[@diamondgarcia9409]

1. You feel like you are able to regulate your emotions 2. You begin to communicate your stories/ assumptions. 3. You don't have the same (original) core wounds. 4. ?.. 5. You feel comfortable voicing your needs, you feel worthy of having them met, and you don't block from recieving them. 6. You see your needs through consistently and you don't expect everyone to be perfect. 7. You have to be able to express boundaries and uphold them. 8. You are able to empathize properly. 9. You're able to forgive well and understand. 10. You have a strong sense of identity.

[@lebe6863]

Thank you so much for this

[@IAm-qf2xb]

4. You uproot and work through your core wounds(?).

[@astrale-l3n]

What does she mean on the item 3?

[@kathym656]

Thank you for writing the list!! 4. Reprogram your core wounds. Secure people don't have as many core wounds to begin with.

[@kathym656]

@@astrale-l3n3. You may feel your partner doesn't care if they are late, but if you were late your partner would not think it was a big deal. Different core wounds.

[@jenncapone]

"Don't make someone else's pain your pain." Wow. This line made me cry. I've been struggling in my relationship with my boyfriend because I haven't been able to empathize correctly. When he expresses feelings of being hurt or upset, I immediately get defensive and make it about myself. I know that's not fair to him, and I'm really trying to work on myself and my reactions to his feelings. I always take things personally and get defensive, and I really don't want that to ruin him and I.

[@LoreMIpsum-vs6dx]

I can confirm that as good as these videos are, Thais' courses are a hundred times better because she can go into so much more detail. She tries not to push her product but the truth is there is an incredible amount of value with her school.

[@LucaAnamaria]

Agree 100%!

[@rousetteish]

Completely agree, I started the course for FA, because I discovered her on youtube and couldn’t believe how much I learned about myself in only watching her videos on here. As I am taking the FA course I realize how much more it helps to know all this knowledge in depth, and applying the exercises guarantees change, I can feel it in myself is amazing. I super recommend it 👍🏼

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Thanks guys!!

[@elle381]

I completely agree

[@christiw7155]

I really wish I could afford her courses, but I'm a bit stuck right now.

[@Hydemica]

Emotional regulation (questioning the stories in my head, fear of abandonment and self soothing) and respecting my own boundaries are my biggest problems. I don't have a problem with communicating my needs but I do get frustrated when I would have to repeat my needs to them. However I always compromise my boundaries and needs in the end in their favor cause I have these caretaker tendencies. So these are my biggest two battles Im planning to win

[@i.e.presents638]

Damajanti Kondres Recommendation- go to Al-Anon meetings, it’s never been easier due to the Pandemic (all on Zoom/phone) and they have always been free. The issues you mention comprise the bulk of the work in codependency recovery. Things to ponder! Taking action is the only path to true, lasting change. Doing stepwork with a sponsor is very effective,

[@Hydemica]

@@i.e.presents638 wow seriously

[@lenasolheim3321]

I feel you so so so hard on this, and this seems ot be the cycle that keeps me in relationships with avoidant types where the spark or connection just "disappears". Thank you for helping me put words to how I am feeling. And I wish you the best of luck with your healing :)

[@Afrocreolebombshelle]

This sounds like me

[@fleetingfootnotes9133]

Note the video is not about *being* secure, but becoming more secure. Comparing your insecure then to your supposedly less insecure self in the now or future. If you are already secure it can be somewhat validating, but not really. 2:40 - #1 - You feel able to regulate your emotions. 4:41 - #2 - You begin to communicate your stories even. 8:23 - #3 - You don't have the same core wounds. 10:05 - #5 - You feel comfortable voicing and sharing your needs with others. You feel worthy of them and you do not block receiving them. (And yes, she skipped number four.) 13:10 - #7 - Being able to express and uphold boundaries. (And yes, she skipped number six.) 15:50 - #8 - Properly emphasizing with others. #9 - Being able to forgive well. Got stuck in there with number eight. 17:11 - #10 - You have a strong sense of identity and direction.

[@stevensantora2976]

Thank you so much.

[@biancatatum2925]

She didn’t skip #6 - you see your needs through consistently Ana you don’t expect someone to be perfect

[@biancatatum2925]

#9 - being able to forgive well and understand someone else’s intentions behind their actions

[@anniehope8651]

Thanks, this saved me a lot otf time looking for #4.

[@sabrinacz]

1. Regulate emotions 2. Communicate stories and beliefs we carry 3. Voice and share needs 4. Dont expect the other person to be perfect

[@infinitelabyrinth6204]

I don’t think I’ve clicked on one of your videos this fast before 😂 This both showed me what i still need to work on, as well as how far I’ve really come since discovering your content 8 months ago !! Honestly, thank you so so much !

[@LesleySASMR]

Oh man! I was doing so much shadow work and reading books to fix my anxious preoccupied and this video basically told me that I’m going back to a secure attachment! I’m so happy!

[@Noa_Darling]

I've noticed there's a trigger when I feel like someone's not really listening to what I'm saying or pretending to listen instead of telling me to hold on or whatever until they're not splitting their attention, I don't react to it as strongly but how can you make yourself vulnerable with someone while expressing that need or like getting reassurance that they value what you're saying?

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

You would have to express and communciate that. Soemthing like: "I feel like when I open up to you that you are splitting your attention and it makes me feel unseen or unheard. I want to open up to you vulnerably but when I feel this I find myself shutting down. Can you help me with this?"

[@ananeixon]

Value yourself and stop looking for validation outside to be happy or feel important :)

[@elle381]

I feel so much hope with these videos. What a beautiful message. I'm hurting and want to be whole, independent of what others say or do. Thank you for sharing more about what that looks like

[@ilariocolli]

Extraordinary! Thank you, Thais, for all your generous, hard work

[@carradee]

[facepalm] Seriously, your videos are kinda showing me that an unfortunate amount of my "secure" attachment is wallpaper over a fearful-avoidant root, which explains why friends get so confused about why/how I reason about and approach some things. Like, I *consciously* regulate my emotions…including side effects of unmet needs. I don't _fear_ abandonment…but I expect it, and I approach friendships from the PoV of appreciating them while they last, whenever it's convenient for or desired by the other person. (I've never had a romantic relationship.) I don't view a failure to meet a need as hate, etc.…but I don't expect anyone to meet my needs, either, and I rarely even bother to acknowledge them, much less communicate them more than once, assuming I recognize or communicate them at all. This is probably because at least one of my needs (which I don't need from everyone or all the time, just…I need to get it from *somewhere*, sometimes) is not something most people are even able to meet (with reason), but that bleeds over into more than it should. …And that's not even all that you've mentioned that I spot. I mean, that "borrowing" thing is a boundary? Really? :/ I'm feeling so attacked rn. In a good way, but fuck ow. And I'm already in a shitty headspace rn, but that's probably good because the problem areas are hella more obvs than usual. Ofc, now I'm having to warn friends trying to cheer me up that they need to avoid engaging me rn if they don't have the spoons to deal with me possibly (probably) figuratively biting their heads off for no good reason. Which itself hurts some of them. And I have to do this while fighting not to bury the defensive aggression or to redirect it against myself. [head*desk*]

[@patriciascorner4686]

That blue looks great on you!

[@thehapagirl92]

What if I keep meeting people who never wants to communicate or ever soothe my nerves? I never meet people who like when I vulnerably communicate even though I don’t do it rudely. I keep meeting assholes who don’t care and hate when I’m open and honest tactfully.

[@firstladyqueen5985]

@Simoone omg !

[@katkatkat5]

Well you sadly chose those assholes yourself. You can’t change a person, but if you do the inner work you’ll eventually stop attracting those kinds of people as you start valuing yourself more.

[@fredaaa-]

Just observe the people you meet, i think if they don’t want to communicate and struggle to met your needs then you can decide whether you stay or leave. Some people are aware of the issues and some are not. Go where you are valued. Katarina said it in a dismissive way imo, sometimes you may not delibrately choose to pick an asshole, some assholes are very good at acting like they have their shit together. Look at your core wounds etc. do the work. Hope that helps Simone.

[@nico3641]

Can one make any progress with these courses if I’m not in a relationship? I want to work on myself, but without a partner to trigger me, how will I know if I’m making progress or how do I get to use my new tools?

[@roweme]

This is such a great question. I felt the happiest, healthiest, strongest and most self-loving and self-aware of my life 6 months ago... alone... soon as I got into a relationship (feeling like I was ready because I felt all these positive things), I got triggered, dysregulated and quickly slid backwards in all these areas!

[@njjn8693]

Rowan Pring I was exactly like you

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

yes most definitely. You would use your past relationships as examples of how you showed up, your patterns and behaviors and what your core wounds are. Thais mentions this in the courses. I would say when you are single is an amazing time to work on this because you can put all the focus into healing than you will be really well equipped and confident going into your next relationship - PDS team member

[@christiw7155]

Being in a relationship, I would have to say that I feel like I could make better progress if I had done this work while being single.

[@catherineann9275]

@@roweme I thought I was completely healthy until I got in a relationship, then it began to bring up a lot of fear that I didn't have outside of a relationship. Almost all of these are challenging for me, and I never had a clue until I got into a relationship. My behaviors are not new, but none of my coping mechanisms work in my relationship, so I have to actually face the reason I feel and behave the way I do. It's hard but I don't think I could have become aware of these deeper subconscious patterns without being in a relationship.

[@racheldebner1955]

I used to be anxious preoccupied, but I think I am secure now. It's been over six months since I have felt anxiety in my relationship. I feel soo much better! Yay! Thank you, Thais!

[@magnetoxavier6504]

That's a really helpful checklist. Thais, could you make videos about not obsessing over your bf after a break up and focusing on self-improvement?

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

I will make that suggestion to the team. I know it can be really tough after a breakup. Journal your feelings out on paper and also try and catch the stories you are telling yourself in your head when you are obsessing over your ex to find a core wound. ex. I am alone, I am not good enough, I will be alone forever etc... than you'll want to find proof of the opposite to equilibrate the belief - PDS team member

[@rebeccacarraway480]

That color is STUNNING on you!

[@janaymosley3289]

I have question. What do I do when I do communicate my feelings and the person brushes me off or the person tells me I’m being sensitive? I struggle with showing who I am then when I do it get brushed off it’s hurts

[@christiw7155]

I wish I had the answer for you. I am in the same boat with my husband lately. He either dismisses my feelings or tells me that I'm just too sensitive.

[@iamdragon5914]

I can totally relate. For me just bc I'm ready to show up for myself and accept myself doesn't mean others are willing to change. When I started taking responsibility for myself and no longer took responsibility for other people's stuff, people resisted STRONGLY . When I change the dynamics in the relationship changes, some simply are not ready. In my experiences. Keep moving forward.

[@thuytrangngophan8375]

You can try communicate with them that the fact they brushing you off is really hurtful. They simply don't have the audacity to call you over-sensitive, because each has their own sensitivity. You're expressing yourself and demanding respect from them, things are that simple. If it doesn't work than maybe that person is not good for your healing and growth.

[@jamesduck9238]

Hello Thais! First of all, I just wanna say thank you for all of the daily breakthrough videos. I've just discovered attachment theory, and it is truly so intriguing to me at this particular point in my life. I feel that I know enough to understand that attachment theory applies to all kinds of relationships, but at the same time, I do wonder how appropriate being vulnerable is if the relationship could more accurately be described as a friendship. I think there are some cultural implications on this too, but I wondered if you had any guidance for how to show up for yourself and for the other person before either party has committed to something more emotionally and physically intimate.

[@musicchick581]

These are wonderful. You skipped #4. I know this because I'm taking notes. LOL

[@raquelrpj]

Dear Thais, I follow your videos for 2 years and today at 13.46 I had finally the certainty to become security attached. I could spot right on my I'm not worth of love wound and I faced my fears fiercely. I stud in the face of refection and asked for my needs. Right now this rejection makes me free to find the love that I deserve. This weight has dropped off my shoulders and feel freer and fulfiller than I ever thought was possible. And this I own it to you. Thank you so much

[@Jeb9221]

Dear Thais, your videos are helping me a lot. I signed up for your advanced anxious preoccupied attachment course. Am not done with it yet as I'm juggling work and studies, but, I know it will help me. Just got dumped by a DA for being too needy. Gone NC for 17 days. Hurting a lot but determined to change for the better. I do have lots of emotional baggage from childhood abuse. Ran away from home 14 years ago and never looked back. You're probably the only KZbinr who's doing this because you genuinely care.

[@primerdimers]

don't worry about feeling you were trying to "sell" the courses! I'm in the PDS and no regrets in my purchase 👍🏼 working on step 10 now

[@IronX77]

Great content starts at 2:44

[@rey_nemaattori]

My hero!

[@TheTeruch]

I'm FA and I'm struggling with all of these 😂 Thank god I got into PDS recently and started working on it. I've already made significant progress and am hoping for more. Also, Thais, you have such calming presence and I just love your compassion and understanding for all the types with their faults and struggles ❤

[@kirajets]

How is it going? Do you feel secure now?

[@jjs9650]

@ 4:42 about communicating your stories and showing vulnerability. This is very helpful since I struggle not only identifying my negative story but I also feel shame in expressing them most esp if it sounds stupid like feeling ignored when my partner doesn't reply when I say goodnight. So Idk how to really express it without feeling ashamed of how stupid it sounds like and I appreciate the language or the script you provided on this video. I remember Brené Brown also mentioned this on her Netflix Special (the lake story) about the importance of expressing or communicating the negative story you associate with things, and it's a scary thing to be vulnerable like feeling stupid bc our negative stories really sound stupid tbh, lol. But that tool was really helpful bc it just didn't solve the issue, it also didn't spiral her anxiety and that also created a stronger bonding moment with her husband.

[@TheMarMarMarvelouss]

I joined the school last week and it is AMAZING. Its super in depth, it breaks down how you can heal very well, i wish I would have joined sooner

[@kirajets]

Are you securely attached now?

[@happythoughts505]

Thankyou so much Thais for your work & who u are, i have watched u grow from from the very beginning, people would pay a fortune for your work/information, i being an anxious style am very grateful for all that u do/give/offer.... THANKYOU again 🙏❤

[@JesllinG]

Thank you so much for your help. I needed to hear this, I been praying for someone to come into my live to help me understand what I’m going through and this is great news that is actually clearing up so many “stories” that build walls in my life. 🙏💗

[@colorfullyme]

wow, as a healing FA, i felt very proud of myself listening to this! I still struggle a lot with 1 and 2 but man have i come a long way :D

[@coppersense999]

With #,2, in my experience me expressing needs was triggering for someone else, where they heard a whole bunch of things I wasn't saying and so not only failed to respond to my bids but attacked me instead, with the desired outcome I think that I chose never to be vulnerable like that again. Nor did I have the option of leaving the relationship with an immediate family member. On the other hand, while my needs were deemed "too much" that same standard did not apply to them, creating a one-sided imbalance that felt like self-betrayal.

[@PHOENIX-ux3gw]

You're so amazing! Thankyou for all the wonderful work you do and information you share... you're really helping people change their lives and heal💜💎🙏🏿

[@matilda4406]

#9 Understanding well where things are coming from and validating someone else's feelings - that is sufficient, we don't have to put on a pretense of forgiveness. Forgiveness is completely separate, only when there is a basis, otherwise it's not real, just pretentious

[@kimhevans]

What do you do if your partner isnt able to hear or even hold your vulnerabilities? I’ve always seem to be met by anger or frustration by my partner or they even see it as criticism. Im aware of my pre-programmes & can voice my needs but really wish to be heard and understood.

[@poppydaisy4828]

I have been waiting to start working on the courses and I am almost there. Thank you for the free content it really is enlightening.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Awesome! Big shifts and changes awaiting. I really think you will get a lot out of the courses. Good luck and thanks for your viewership - PDS team

[@heidij9551]

So when is it ok to get that reassurance ? I thought that was asking too much of our partner and especially in a newer relationship?

[@adinubila]

seems like if you share things vulnerably you get attacked for feeling that way like there is something wrong with you...

[@livewellnz]

How do we get the current discount for the lifetime membership if you are already enrolled in the school for a 6 month subscription? Thank you

[@PsychologyonDemand]

Really interesting! Very CBT by the sounds of things, but mixed with a strong understanding of attachment theory. I will definitely check out more of your videos! =)

[@jonathanberkley6626]

Many thanks for this video, the focus upon identifying secure attitudes, thought processes, and behaviors is very encouraging; this is especially helpful for people who are doing the work to grow out of insecure attachments.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

@@jonathanberkley6626 Thanks for your comment Jonathan - PDS team

[@KWk-dg9uc]

I have a problem with jealousy in relationship.. It's a childhood stuff and as I'm working on me it's getting better. Although I would like to work on that deeper.. Do you have any courses on jealousy? Thank you.

[@jenaya_laila2442]

I tried implementing this in my last marriage. I kept on wanting to talk about our needs. I kept on asking about his need and telling him what I need. He didn't respond to either. He disregarded my needs for years and didn't tell me any of his. I couldn't talk about anything with him. Whether about our future, the present needs e.c.t We are now divorcing. I tried for 21 years. In the end, we only did what he wanted and focused on his life but not consciously by talking about it but through him dismissing me/us, stalling e.t.c things like: "I'll think about it", but then never getting back to me. "Yes, we'll move but give me one more year". This went on for 10 years and there was screaming and crying drama once I wanted to leave for myself until he had the time to come along. I lost my whole life through that. He completely dismissed me, my needs and also any achievements I had. He'd just ignore them or even sabotage my deadlines by creating drama or demanding things from me when I just didn't have time, e.g PhD deadlines for the same day, asking me to drive him somewhere and not taking no for an answer. He stopped me from having any kind of success through that. I had to ask for physical intimacy of any kind for 15 of those 21 years. Upon asking if he still wanted to be in the relationship he said he did and he did love me. I couldn't leave the relationship either. There was drama every time and he even threatened to kill himself If I left. I am 39 now and haven't done any of the things I wanted to. I was manipulated and undermined in every way. What do you call that? Is that a form of Narcissim? Or what kind of attachment is that? Sorry if I overshared, but this is kind of anonymous and maybe also helpful for someone else?

[@melanietaylor3917]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Sounds very much like he has fearful avoidant attachment. This type have been programmed to think that opening up, being vulnerable and caring about someone else's needs is dangerous & scary. His actions were not about you, he is responsible for his own beliefs & actions. Good on you for leaving! Onwards & upwards.

[@FunnyShellBear]

That’s flat out Narcissism, all about him, all of the time! 😮

[@FunnyShellBear]

@@melanietaylor3917 That’s flat out Narcissism, fearful avoidants don’t deliberately sabotage people’s deadlines or gaslight (re moving) and lie… that’s not fear he’s demonstrating, it’s pure selfishness and all about him. Which is classic Narcissistic behaviour.

[@kernalmasta]

Thais, your videos have opened my eyes up to so much about my ex girlfriend. They are great! I was wondering how I can get my Fearful avoidant ex back who pushed me away in the sense of conflict (6 years together). We had 1 bad year of many situations not related to us but we individually each were depressed and seeking help. She pushed me away and broke up with me and said we can talk in 2 or 3 years after she heals and takes time and space.

[@prachibhattarai3833]

in the past 2 days i have known so much about my problems , that u look like a beautiful angel to me ,.. i m crying how i never loved myself ....

[@andreeacoman2716]

I love your videos, but 3 interruptions for commercial is too much 😒 It makes it very hard 😖 to focus on the valuable content. Just saying

[@projecthandyman9634]

Hi, went from 3 to 5, skipped #4?

[@elionmarvel5544]

Where can I find the emotional regulation course?

[@priancavail6520]

Thank you Thais, this is an EXCELLENT video! I am doing my healing work to become SECURE. It is definitely a journey of ups and downs, but well worth it!!♥️🌺🌈

[@mindurownbizness3821]

Your excessive wordness makes it really hard to watch your videos. You have goid points but it takes you so long to get to them it’s very easy to mentally drift off from your speech and loose them.

[@JBHooligan24]

Superb audio quality, Thais! Thank you so much for this improvement. 💜

[@ektapathak4984]

Thank you so much for sharing such valuable information and knowledge. Much appreciated.

[@creativesolutionstoart]

I am very inspired by your passion and enthusiasm to do what I consider the most important work on this planet. No one can treat each other right until we have become secure in ourselves.… Or at least are actively working on it :-)

[@clhunt15]

It just occurred to me that the issue isn't that some people are insecurely attached and have work to do to be "good at" relationships, but rather the social expectation that everyone, regardless of their circumstances or context, is supposed to be secure.

[@reashundi7746]

Hey is it me or 4 is missing

[@jenniferleigh1674]

Does it take time to heal from these attachments? I am more aware of my triggers and try to focus but it sucks. I know Im making progress but it feels never ending because its like an onion! Once something is healed, something else comes up. Its exhausting. I just want to feel normalcy in love and dating.

[@ashantiflycoin6487]

Do you have some Insecurities that go beyond just your attachment style?

[@sanamsitaram7940]

This just tells me that I'm finally going from anxious preoccupied, to FA, to more secure at last. Yay!

[@sarahforbes716]

I tried this and the people completely walked away and walked out of my life

[@lalisan12]

Just wanted to say that it’s amazing that you do these videos in just one take

[@Squiddy55]

#8 Should be sympathize

[@blahblahblahize]

I am in the process of figuring out wether or not to stay with someone who has fearful avoidant tendencies and I am anxious/secure… I just want to point out that I have been in 7 fairly long term relationships and what I have realized is that a persons attachment style creates a connection that is really challenging and takes loads of work or is fairly easy and not much work. The individuals I was with where the communication and love flowed easily did not last due to other reasons. So I’m saying this because it’s a choice be with someone who’s attachment style matches yours or be with someone who doesn’t matches yours and have to do tons of work? It doesn’t mean don’t do your own inner work but really it’s amazing to feel the difference between different attachment styles and how they align with your own.

[@valentinanocross8677]

I look forward to learning more in the future and still not fully depending on myself in this county. I took on big big challenges I don't know if that's also a pattern. Probably. .i have a few more weeks of German till my exam. It's Part of why I became insecure was not knowing the language and went through divorce not knowing laws, rights, language. A horrible complicated grief experience. I noticed yesterday on the bahn that I was 75% triggered by a ticket checker. I could explain myself ok, but got defensive. And it took me at least 10 minutes to recover. I then realized that it shows up in life and not just intimate relationships. Yesterday was the aha moment of how much further there is to go

[@theresacourter627]

I’m interested in more information on how to find my purpose and meet my own needs please.

[@SteezyDollIsabel]

Im the anxious attachment and this helped so much I know exactly know what I have to work on and why my past friendships and relationships have suffered. I hope to become secure soon🙏🏼❤️

[@PLad-pr9cl]

This is veeery precious ❤ Thank you so much!! New subscriber :)

[@nauctavia]

You skipped #4. What was #4??

[@skylar1727]

I know I need to set boundaries and in my head I know what to say and then my mouth starts running and there goes my boundary. I have no idea how to fix this.

[@clairegaudry7844]

Thankyou (?number4)

[@ivana5618]

1. Ability to regulate emotions 2. Ability to communicate your story (your assumptions/ pov) 3. Your core wounds will be reprogrammed 4. Skipped Lol 5. You feel comfortable sharing what your needs are and feel worthy of having them met and dont block receiving them. 6. You see that your needs are met consistently without the expectation that someone is perfect. 7. Ability to express boundaries and uphold them 8. Ability to empathize properly 9. Ability to forgive well and not make it about you 10. Have a strong sense of identity and where you want to go

[@anastasiah2398]

What is number 4?

[@ragga7862]

Hi Thais, is this 3 hour course still available? I mean, this exact course that covers these 10 things you are talking about kn rhis specific video.

[@alwaysroomtolearn]

I love everything you teach Thais. So much better than other advice out there that involves playing games. Your material is life changing ❤

[@missjk00]

Again, its okay that you have a business. You don't have to pretend youtube limits your videos to 10 minutes. They don't and its okay you promote your courses.

[@astrale-l3n]

One person who's not ready to develop itself disliked this video!

[@roarfiercefemininerisingma9607]

Love the new lighting in this video.

[@K4113B4113]

I've got a question more for the ladies but feel free to discuss. Is it better to be DA at the first stage of a relationship instead of being secure in order to attract someone? I think we can all agree that the DA's are the most attractive at first. They're a mystery and the fact that we never know what they feel make us go crazy for them. It's only later on that it becomes a problem, right? What if you're secure attached from the start and you give her too much validation, too much security, too much openness and she just runs away? Is it better to be DA towards her at first to get her interested?

[@LadyJayBird90]

It's best to be your authentic self - if a person isn't going to be interested after receiving validation, openness and security, then they may have their own issues with attachment.

[@MsKingwa]

Trying to be something you are not sounds like manipulation and may not be sustainable. Personally, DAs coldness grosses me out. I love AAs and how they uninhibitedly lavish love. I'm working on expanding my capacity to receive it rather than run away in fear from it.

[@loriszigon]

Potentially life changing insights offered here. Resonating with some many of them and feeling very hopeful and excited for the potential that exists to change/work on things. In subjective experience, I find Thais' speaking speed a bit fast for the amount of amazingly deep and powerful information being offered. For those of you also struggling a little bit with this, I would suggest adjusting the playback speed to 0.75 (as another user also suggested), as then the information streams more gradually into the mind and body. With all due respect for your otherwise excellent work Thais :-) Thank you for all your contributions to the world.

[@lynnegrentell193]

I feel like this was a little tacky. All I heard this whole video was about selling your products 😬

[@charitys7866]

Let’s say our partner is very reassuring, like in your example of the partner being late, but your mind gathers so much evidence to the contrary.. how do we believe them when they say they care?

[@umbrascitor2079]

This content is valuable, but it gets _really_ hard to listen to one or two bits of information at a time with the exact same promotion for your courses in between. As much as I respect the work you do and your need to promote it, the sell-hard vibe is often kind of off-putting.

[@IanRoyball128]

❤️

[@silee9]

Hi Thais. I'm glad I came across your channel. I'm in a situation which has triggered my Anxiety Attachment. Although I've been reviewing and revising my understanding of love and realtionships, a Secure Attachment mindset is something I was naturally evovling towards. It seems Attachment Theory has a good basis for understanding relationships and Secure Attachment is an ideal state of mind to be in. If my situation can be salvaged, I will propose to her, that your monthly course, is something we can work together on. If not, I will happily continue alone, as it'll help my future, anyway. Thank you, as watching your videos have brought down my anxiety levels _/\_

[@screentake01]

you have the whole package you've got the looks and a lovely voice and you have the intelligence and the nurturing.. you are the type of woman I'd like to marry!🌹

[@tasiaalex9169]

Thank you

[@deirdresavino5492]

What is 4?

[@projecthandyman9634]

Yeah, I caught that too? But no reply...

[@angelicachandrasekeran5028]

Great points thank you! Would have been great if the marketing spiel could have been condensed and saved for the end.

[@jellyrcw12]

3:03, yes that is key! I got myself out of my last spiral by asking myself what stories I was telling myself and if they were true or not

[@bonitamorlang1073]

I'm assuming that most participants in your courses are women but what about men in these areas?

[@gamermiyah1949]

Hi pretty lady. Thank you 😊❤️

[@Talkinglife]

Nice one

[@laverdadbuscador]

does the emotional mastery coarse talk about healing trauma at all?

[@VikiVul]

I LOVE YOU!!! thank you SO MUCH

[@sarahlease6776]

So how does this work if the other partner has a sex addiction and is doing some of these in gaslighting?

[@donnacalixte]

You are doing such great work with these videos so thank you. I missed the fourth step!?

[@meghanciuffetelli7493]

Just added this to my Dream Life Playlist. ❤❤❤

[@edaluv]

Awesome video 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@t.djabali1129]

I love your channel so much, thank you

[@xander423]

Well Im not as off as i thought so that’s good

[@SS-ly2bn]

Amazing video! I plan to enroll!

[@Danse345]

What was number 4?