How to avoid PEOPLE-PLEASING

Save your energy, smile without laughter-padding, and BE REAL.
Get Coaching with an Energy Reading from me: shop.beacons.ai/niu.views/Ene...
TIPS:
- Start with slow and soft energy
- Share only what you want to share
- Be calm and concise in honesty
- Soften honesty with gratitude
- Instead of conforming, do nothing
- Instead of conforming, get curious
- Be light and nonchalant
- Observe and refine without emotion (aka meditate and cry/vent later lol)
- Know how you ideally want to socialize (if you’re like me - you want to be able to be both chill and playful, take jokes and make jokes. Find your balance.)
- Flow with your natural expressions (sharp and/or soft)
CONNECT:
Energy Coaching - shop.beacons.ai/niu.views/Ene...
Website - beacons.ai/niu.views
Instagram - / niu.views
TikTok - / niu.views
KZbin - / niuviews
Partnerships/Inquiries - [e-mail]
ABOUT:
My name is Ariel Niu, I create content on self and social interactions. I give examples on social cues and techniques, and I share stories on how everything and everyone is connected. Since 2018, I have been practicing using my own energy to change outer experiences and people. I love creating content about human connections, and I am grateful and excited to help those who resonate with my messages.
#socialskills #socialanxiety #emotionalintelligence #communicationskills #energyreading #relationships #confidence #personaldevelopment #niuviews

[@NiuViews]

GET ENERGY COACHING FROM ME: shop.beacons.ai/niu.views/EnergyCoachingwithArielNiu TIPS: - Start with slow and soft energy - Share only what you want to share - Be calm and concise in honesty - Soften honesty with gratitude - Instead of conforming, do nothing - Instead of conforming, get curious - Be light and nonchalant - Observe and refine without emotion (aka meditate and cry/vent later lol) - Know how you ideally want to socialize (if you’re like me - you want to be able to be both chill and playful, take jokes and make jokes. Find your balance.) - Flow with your natural expressions (sharp and/or soft)

[@cjwsk12]

"these are all okay until you decide it's not okay" really liked this part. It sounds so simple but hard to do. Will keep this in mind, thanks ariel!

[@user-xz9my3si5w]

i've ended up becoming forcefully hyper talkative as a way to walk around my social anxiety and that worked for me as a young teen but i haven't felt appropriate while doing it anymore and i really want to put this in practice and be chiller and realer! thank you!

[@Alice-cn3sp]

Yes! Forcefully hyper-talkative is a great way to describe it! I have this issue too and I've counterbalanced it by imagining I'm in my "cool girl chill" vibes (a phrase I learned from TikTok)

[@BPDUniandMe]

#same

[@reflectiondetox383]

SAME!!!! But for me, I don't care about being chill. I just miss being anti social. I felt more at peace & had less conversations to replay in my head & later feel insecure about. I miss not letting so many people into my space. but I feel I've gotten so deep, if I stop conversating now, so many people are gonna think I'm bipolar, and so many feelings would be hurt as well. I thought social anxiety was suffocating when I couldn't bring myself to speak, it's even more suffocating now that I'm more social.

[@BonBonHassan]

This is exactly what I'm trying to work on. I noticed the last time I went out, I don't give myself time to think and respond, I just react

[@user-xz9my3si5w]

thinking before reacting is soooooo hard i really don't understand why I struggle so much to do it considering I never judge somebody else for taking too long to respond to me @@BonBonHassan I hope you can improve on it too!

[@christianjaidar]

“Instead of confirming, do nothing.” Is actually so helpful to me especially when you said not laughing bc that’s a situation I’ve been in a lot of

[@Wimpykiddo]

I was a people pleaser for so many years n once I woke up n realized it I started hating myself

[@OhThereItIs]

Don't hate yourself for people pleasing in the past. It comes from place of genuinity and as soon as you recognise and value your good energy more, the sooner you'll be in a better position, there is no need to hate yourself:):)

[@diegogarcia-serna9773]

As someone who is working through being less socially anxious, your content is game changing. Feels like I discovered an underground content creator. Hope you blow up soon

[@BonBonHassan]

I definitely need to put myself in more social situations so I can practice this

[@picklepirate]

The “awwwh you’re going?? What a loser.” Keep in mind for some people, that’s a loving way to say they love hanging out with you. Everyone will understand and respect if you still leave.

[@cutiekittie4025]

I like these videos bc it’s literally teaching us or reminding us how to simply be human 😂 as if we are little sims 😂 thank you for these.

[@cryptograndprix]

Love your content! So glad I found you

[@rjgordon77]

Same….this is such great tips!

[@radiorebel1015]

You're like a big sister I've always wanted

[@farmcottage5404]

Your last few videos actually made me aware of my issue of inferiority complex and it's been soo helpful as I am starting to people please less. thank you. It feels good to be authentic ❤️

[@nebulasofia]

Love your content ❤ this is so helpful. I would love to hear more about being able to take jokes and be more funny and "risky", since I feel like I'm way too "nice" and I tend to avoid anything who could offend anyone, and yeah I'm also working on not taking myself seriously and take a joke because I used to be like that and I wanna change it

[@NiuViews]

Good idea :) I’ll simmer on this

[@ChampdeFleursWellness]

I second this

[@Noname-mc7jd]

We are on the same boat girl 🥹

[@walanakomaisipusername]

❤❤

[@nebulasofia]

Thank you, Niu ❤ ​@@NiuViews

[@healingwitholly]

your videos are free therapy. thank you for sharing your wisdom ❤ i’m finding out how to ground in my authentic truth of who i am and who i’m becoming and these are so supportive on my path. grateful for you Ariel 💌

[@hailey7684]

I absolutely love your content- came from instagram. I’ve been learning a lot from you. I’m such a defensive person- which can be aggressive, sharp, and reactive… so I’m really invested in your content!!! Literally life changing.

[@susannalink7680]

Yes... but howwww not to get triggered. Especially with parents... Great video, thank you!

[@CarinaJasmineLee]

Your tips are so specific and you use really relevant examples! I’m so happy I found your channel, your content is 💯👌

[@asophfable]

Ariel!! I love this, but "during the live moment staying analytical" can be so hard, especially when you know a conversation will be triggering but you need to do it. Do you have any videos on dealing with tough conversations? There's a huge (possibly hours-long) conversation that I'm planning on having with family about a death in the family (wasn't invited to their funeral) and I just *know* there's going to be a lot of offense/defense coming from them, instead of a productive conversation on closure and why this happened. I wonder if there's a way to create goals for the conversation while also not coming across as "too practiced/ too vulnerable or sensitive to handle this" since that's a major reason why this happened in the first place.

[@Solely.jameela]

Hello! I’m so glad your page showed up on my explorer! I had to subscribe! The 2 videos that I just watched helped sooo much calm my nerves and anxiousness.. I’m dealing with a lot at work and interacting with a new boss is uhhmm - awkwardness.. if you can break that down! It would be awesome! ✨

[@siciliatavernier8503]

I’m glad KZbin recommended your video :) thank you

[@dorothydolan3813]

I flipping love you!

[@dr.chiu7777]

That is what I need right now ! Thanks !

[@afshanawshard]

Can you please make a video on how to maintain our balanced energy with kids.Its really hard to keep it up near them.Thank you.

[@sana-gq2ur]

your videos are a life saver ❤❤

[@HiKoo-ct1xr]

love this so much!!!!!! thank you so much 🙇🏻‍♂️

[@xandra12791]

I am binging your content. I'm so glad you showed up on my recos! You'll have more followers soon. I just know it.

[@Fruitloop30]

Found you on insta, your videos are SO GOOD 👏

[@bee_440]

you’re videos are soooo helpful thank you!

[@JiiNeTiiCs]

It’s the “say what you want to say” for me 🙌🏻❤️

[@kristenvela4909]

Thank you so much for this. I really needed to hear this!! ❤

[@Mollyfolly33]

Love love love your videos about people connections

[@Alice-cn3sp]

Love this -- I've heard this energy described as being in your "cool girl chill" before which really helps me visualize it - I've noticed this helps when I tend to get kind of forcefully energetic, unbalanced, and "tilting in" energy and tend to speak a lot more with filler.

[@Raeleen]

I love your videos. Thank you!

[@phoebetaptiklis5122]

Great Niu perspctive ;) Thanks!

[@iMoosker]

These are (slowy but surely) life changing. Thank you so much for these videos

[@armonnyolin9448]

Thank you so much for this video it’s very helpful !

[@highnessproductions4177]

Your videos are so clear and helpful. Usually I’m watching so I can relate better to my adult children who have grown up in this anxiety filled times. ..

[@JermDeeezy]

You’re like the parents I never had ! Thanks dad ❤️

[@Ilovecheesecakebaby]

thank you. its a work in progress

[@nay6248]

suuuuch a great video thank you !! Plus, as a POC i always encounter social settings where some remarks feel wrong but i dont actually adress them. Thank you for this advice !!

[@Fajournie]

so glad to find your channel

[@almaelenamastachi4856]

Thank you so much. I'm practicing being less sharp when I disagree with someone and it works very well 😃.

[@anna-se7gq]

Thank you. I appreciate your tips.

[@thisisrachaelreed]

You are amazing.

[@kittybanni]

Once again, so helpful for neurodivergent people. Thank you for your content.

[@randomvids6536]

You are my new favorite channel

[@sharkchisha]

Ariel you are providing GAME girl! Thanks for all the gems 💎

[@MichaelZacharia-vj1wu]

Please continue making these videos!

[@amoonslove]

This is executed so beautifully that as simple as it is it can get blurred between the lines at times. Thank you for your videos.

[@Afancydiary]

So good!

[@JustoBlondo]

Been loving and binging your stuff lately! I’m not struggling too bad with my social anxiety nowadays but I do feel validated by the tips that you give. Most of the time I’m like “ohhh good, I already do that!” Haha I do have one topic that I struggle with and that’s inflection through text and email. I always struggle to find the right words and I don’t want to come off as rude or annoying. So if you have anything tips for that, help a brother out please 🙏🏾

[@misnomer5557]

Your content is great. Tech comment: chill on reverb, or lower the high end of the signal going into the verb

[@mariatimmer6142]

10k views!! Good for you!

[@meganlol2783]

i love ur content!!❤

[@tonin.7504]

I love your lipstick! May I know which shade?

[@soul2687]

You are truly underrated

[@JessicaEmelye]

These videos are so great, can you share something on blushing? It would be great to learn more from you about physical mannerisms.

[@sophiet9689]

Amazing

[@sushgurung9506]

I love your voice

[@uncloseted-weeb432]

As a person with adhd this helps

[@BPDUniandMe]

I would love to see you talk on how to communicate difficult, stressful situations to people that you love if they are prone to overreaction. Say we personally have a close friend with BPD/EUPD for example. How to keep composed, explain your feelings and what you need to change and then feel no guilt 😹🖤🙏

[@lindeekeller1462]

Support - Empathy - Truth - - the SET method is a great way to tell someone with BPD or who otherwise is shame-driven/reactive/intense something they might not want to hear. For breaking bad life news to someone who experiences emotional intensity, it helps to maintain your own calm energy and trust them to manage their emotion/be accepting of their emotions, because feeling incapable and being upset about their own emotions actually drives distress. The SET method is from Shari Y Manning's book Loving Someone with Borderline... and it's a good one.

[@LeynaCool]

My level of people-pleasing is even after treated badly by another person, I would still grin widely at them or give love emoji in a text. 😅 Even though my husband told me to be stagnant or stoic in front of them, I can't. 😅

[@katherinechant7606]

Recovering people pleaser here

[@ellayebitch]

wowww so grateful to have found your channel will be checking in

[@harrisonbruhn8528]

You are incredible! Holy shit. Thank you.

[@walanakomaisipusername]

More videos to help socially awkward people like me :( some view me as arrogant and I wanna know how to resolve it... I mean I don't mean to be arrogant I'm just too quiet and awkward

[@walanakomaisipusername]

More videos like this ❤

[@TheKidNaj]

Just wondering which mic you use! Love your vids and energy ⚡️⚡️

[@Alice-cn3sp]

Do you have tips for someone whose natural delivery tends to be on the sharper and quicker side but wants to lean into embodying a more grounded, slow, and calm energy? I've watched your "balanced sharp vs soft" video and it was helpful. How can I internalize this shift over time? I've noticed I also tend to make certain microexpressions on my face (e.g slight furrowed brow twitch) when talking to someone which aren't the most receptive / friendly seeming, even when I'm just processing what is being said, and I think that can sometimes throw the other person and conversational energy off a little - any tips?

[@bumsfallera7880]

Tell me everything! = Need for control 😅

[@Trang-A-Lang]

Walking away always works

[@kissonyourthirdeye2018]

🖤you're gorgeous

[@akunnaeunice7358]

Am going through social anxiety and it’s really awkward for me atp 😢

[@lovelydianax3]

What lipstick are you wearing? ❤️❤️❤️

[@myytacc9851]

What should you do if someone you thought you were chill with always has snarky comments they say behind your back but they ask for favors and you don’t wanna be the rude one and want to be chill?

[@tehewhatthe]

Just say no or add you’re too busy if you feel unable to just say no. You don’t owe anyone anything.

[@inaritora]

Is it maybe possible to lower or remove the reverb from your recording?🥺 It’s sometimes a bit hard to understand, English is not my first language 😭

[@Trang-A-Lang]

I watch everything with closed captioning. It helps with learning English also.

[@cdney8285]

Are there any Facebook, discord or such communities for this channel? Or do y'all know any groups that have people who deal with such topics as people pleasing? I need help guys

[@NiuViews]

Join my instagram community

[@cdney8285]

@@NiuViews Thanks, will do

[@Jazmiit]

🆘Im in a situation idk how to handle that,I need your opinion. there's a girl in my class trying to be cool and pushing other girls down by taunting them in a funny way. Like if someone's wearing a pant as a replacement to skirt, she will say your ass is little big but in a funny way. She's putting her insecurity on other. Now its the incident happened with me.Yesterday, I was walking towards my class room and im cold sensitive so my nose and cheeks gets super red ,she saw me and said (your blush is so good,damn) and I was so nervous,I tried to explain myself that its not blush,you can rub and see it.i don't apply blush and so many such things but at the end she laughed and went. What could I do in this situation.

[@TheHighCouncilOfTheChosenOnes]

I was huge people pleaser. I used to suck up to everyone and yeah I was a suckker..but your videos changed my lyf..Thanks ma'am a lot.

[@cyen_13]

❤

[@renemckay5145]

What are you energy reading like?

[@NiuViews]

Life changing 😉

[@jennylinneabjorksten2049]

I love your content but would prefer if you removed the echo/reverb

[@meghanarai3923]

whats up with the audio, very echo-eeee

[@NiuViews]

I’m figuring it outttt be patient 😂

[@RyeRob.]

​@@NiuViews Reducing reverb and/or using some sort of de-essing software could help. Love the content but it is a little hard on the ears sometimes.

[@ChocolatePheonix]

I thought it was peaceful ! @@NiuViews

[@kerfluffle]

I think it’s great tbh, it’s like she’s speaking at a live event and I’m right there hehe

[@Rhhdhssidjdbsnw]

@@kerfluffletrue that, I love the echoey

[@tonynguyen7636]

You're too beautiful asf

[@RespectTheConglomerate]

First lol

[@dohaerine3256]

Be chill and honest 😅❤️🤍

[@equaloskat]

Omg i watch ur tiktoks i didnt know u had a youtube channel🫶 i love ur content so so much

[@nicolasfais7185]

Your videos are very interesting, what you say resonates with a more respectful and chill approach that i'm trying to take toward myself. But at the end of the video i started to tell myself to be more grounded and stop trying to put these changes in place in my mind while looking at the video because of what you said about staying analytical during the live interaction and i started freaking out ahah. When i try to concentrate i almost always end up becoming anxious because i'm more concentrated on the fact that i HAVE to concentrate than on the thing itself 🫠 maybe i take things a little too first degree sometimes