How To Be A Better Parent Without Yelling

[@brookedaley1976]

Thank you a thousand times. I could cry. I was abused as a child and am trying so hard to be a good parent without yelling and falling apart. This helps. I wrote it down to remind myself.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Brooke Daley, please come back whenever you think you need a refresher.

[@feed.your.head420]

same 😢

[@LuckyAzzWhiteboy]

Me too.

[@alexvillegas1717]

❤🙏🏼 same here

[@AubzCelli]

Same here man. I know it is NO excuse to yell and rage out but I had a lot that I went through in my childhood. It was rough. And I really do not want the same for my oldest daughter, or my other children.

[@InfiniteValue]

1. Be clear on what you control and what you don’t control. 2. Calm voice, Calm face, Calm body 3. Give them two choices 4. Separate the emotion from the discipline 5. Remember your job...love them! Excellent advice I just shared it with my favorite people! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Infinite Value, thank you for sharing, honored to be on your team.

[@ruqayyafarzana7379]

Thanks for pointing out.

[@euavalos2433]

“Separate emotion from the discipline” brilliant! 👌

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

And so necessary to truly have discipline and not punishment, Eu Avalos.

[@kristinyaekelnegley3978]

Yes! But easier said than done sometimes!

[@westcoastfishingbrossuarez7436]

Yes I have that same issue I let my emotions take over and I start to feel bad and I feel like that’s a problem and they don’t listen sometime

[@truthseeker6637]

My eyes are watering. I watched this about a year ago when my daughter was turning 2. Now she’s turning 3 and holy hell, I needed this now more than ever 😩😩 “remember your job…” “your job is to love them” broke my heart…. Absolutely true.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Oh wow! I am glad you came back to the channel.

[@JackSmith-w1t]

Just finished reading ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’ and it really opened my eyes to some new ways of guiding my kids in their faith. Highly recommend it if you’re looking to strenghten your family’s spiritual life

[@lorelovego4895]

CAN I HAVE

[@DerekJFiedler]

- Don't let them see that they can control your emotions. - When parents are smiling, kids are thinking. - Give them a solid, stable presence. Super helpful. Thank you!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Derek J Fiedler, you are welcome. Thanks for being in our community.

[@chinoisaveclissa1739]

"Maintaining a calm face, a calm voice, a calm body" ,I love this. Thanks for sharing.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are so welcome!

[@amberleonem1]

My husband and I are oh so grateful for you're "choices" teachings! We've used them for awhile now and it transformed our kiddo.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Honored to be on your team.

[@julesdoesthings]

Learning to separate emotion from discipline is a big one for me! 👍

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

It is a huge one for almost everyone, Julia Kaltenbock. Thanks for watching.

[@LinardsBerzins]

What living legend you are! Thank you tremendously.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad you are enjoying the channel, Linards Berzins. Honored to be on your team.

[@beatrizsandoval4395]

I so needed this video. My 5 year old son makes me loose control daily. I am going to put your tips in practice. Thank you 🙏

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Beatriz Sandoval, better days are ahead.

[@michaelmiller1561]

Hey Beatriz, check out Tiger Claw Karate Dojo on youtube for your kid if you want something for him to do. It's free.

[@Elegan_te]

How did it go? Are you still able to stay calm and collective? It’s so hard for me...

[@jennymeier3018]

I’m the same way Beatriz!

[@samsonlo8718]

im so blessed to encounter your video tonight, as i felt really bad for putting my kid in immense pressure to excel in her school interviews, too much emotions tears, yelling, you can imagine.....i feel terrible i lost it.....i hope tomorrow i can wake up and be a better parent, hope the damage is not irreversible....im terrible.....thank you....may God bless you

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Samson Lo, ask your daughter for a do-0ver. You got this.

[@fernandahurtado-ortiz9042]

New huge fan here. I did not know you existed until today, and after reading and trying with other videos, this guy is simply the best. Thank you very much.

[@sw01237]

I am really having a difficult time with yelling and defiance. I have been listening to your videos and reading books and nothing is helping. It was definitely ingrained from childhood. It's so stressful!

[@tecumseha]

Spokenwisdom01, see my reply to Irene. 🙂 Good luck, fellow parent.

[@HarrietFitzgerald580]

spokenwisdom01 ingrained in my childhood too. Scary.

[@hasanmurtaza8339]

I am sorry but i kinda feel relieved that i am not alone. It definitely is ingrained from my own childhood. And i have been trying every single day, every hour to overcome it. Or even to be a happy parent for at least sometime every week.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

spokenwisdom01, thank you for watching and trying out.

[@patstar5]

I know this comment is a year old but I’m going thru same thing.

[@elenamitrevska4326]

Dr. Paul thanks for the videos. I was talking with my husband and telling him about ,,calm face, calm voice, calm body,, and my daughter was around. And after a few days i get nervous about something and start to raise my voice on her. And she just say it calmly: mom, please, calm face, calm voice, calm body. Hahahah i couldn't stop laughing. It was like i listen some of your videos 😊

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Too funny, Elena Mitrevska. Thank you for watching.

[@cerellebarnes3971]

Thank you so much! That’s was a big help. I feel so bad when I yell at my 7 year old daughter just to get her to get dressed, pick up after herself, etc.... yes my job is to love her no matter what or even if. And yes keeping the emotion out of the discipline. Thanks again!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad to have you at Live On Purpose, Cerelle Barnes. I hope the videos are helpful for your family.

[@ginamcgrew9955]

Thank you so much Dr. Paul! I'm a new subscriber, binge watching your videos. They have already made a tremendous impact on my parenting and my children's behavior. I'm hoping my husband(who grew up without a dad- and was mostly raised by his older sister while mom worked hard to provide) will soon be on board with watching and discussing the tips you give. I've read some harsh, petty, somewhat crazy comments on your videos, but when you come across those, I want you to remember that you REALLY are making a difference in thousands of little lives and I for one pray God's richest blessings on your ministry!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad you are member of the Live On Purpose Family, Gina McGrew. I don't mind people who disagree, but I prefer civility. Honored to be on your team.

[@discoverteainchina]

I am not alone being such a parent with the similar problem but feel bad each time after yelling or saying something bad to kids. I almost forget that my first job is to love my kid. Thanks for this great video. Later my son would ask me： mon, may I ask you something, but please firstly promise that you won't reply to me loudly. At that moment, I feel shame about myself. I am happy to grow up with a better parent with my son too. Thank you all

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks for sharing!! Discover Cha, when we know better, we do better.

[@glandalissaguevara1519]

Thank you for this video Dr. Paul. I love my daughter even when she hates and pushes me away. I still take care of her even though I'm depressed of our situation. Thanks. I hope someday things will work out and will be okay.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glanda Lissa Guevara, I hope so too. Keep moving forward.

[@christi3411]

My eight year old is (was) completely controlling my emotions. Thanking God for reminding me of the wisdom contained in these videos.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Honored to be on your team, Christi Lee.

[@UmB0ng0]

Thanks for your videos. Really helpful stuff! I've never even once yelled at my 5 year old. My wife thinks I'm too soft with him but I never believed that yelling at him helps in the long run. Great advice with the 2 choices also. Cheers!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks for sharing! LimB0ng0, honored to be on your team.

[@marialorentza]

Just have to say, this channel has helped so much on my parenting! Sure, I would have figured it out without, but now I have new ways to view situations and handle them, I can see it affecting our daily life! The one with giving a choice I picked up from another video and it really works (well, most of the time at least). Every parent should be presented with this!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am so glad our videos are helping you, Maria Lorentza. Feel free to share with other parents who could use it.

[@jerryreyes7292]

This video really hit me down in my heart. I lose control constantly. This video reminds me that I can face these problems without losing control and also reminds me how much I love my kids.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Love them no matter what and even if...

[@hanimahamud7256]

Thank you for the reminder that our job is to love them, no matter what.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Happy to spread the message.

[@KW-onceuponatime]

Thank you sooooo much Dr. Paul!!! So spot on, and yes our job is to love them♡♡♡

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Yes Kitty Walker, if we could all agree on that we would have better relationships with our children.

[@fairuzhashim5604]

Thank you so much Dr Paul! I'm not a parent yet but currently babysitting my nephew. Sometimes he just dont listen to me and starts crying when i dont do as he want.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Farha Muhammad, welcome to the channel, great to have you here.

[@jolene9952]

I absolutely love these tips and I so appreciate your videos! Thank you Dr Paul!!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Jolene Snowball, honored to be on your team.

[@bhineka8936]

5 suggestions that make families better. Thank you

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Honored to be on your team.

[@isabellareed1234]

Got the getting dressed scenario happened this morning and then your video showed up on my feed. Thank you so very much

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad I could help!

[@soyetasworld7715]

Your priceless gift have been guiding to be a better parent🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Soyeta, thank you, what a nice comment.

[@soyetasworld7715]

Really Sir Your way teaching is awesome..... Really examples are so practical 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@soyetasworld7715]

I am Lucky to have you as a guide 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@chrisjuarez3805]

Thank you for this motivation. I’m the worst parent but starting today I’ll practice becoming a better parent

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Since you are tuning in and learning it suggests that you are actually a great parent that cares! Live On Purpose offers a free 30 minute coaching and get acquainted session. Here is the calendar: calendly.com/liveonpurpose-team/free

[@kaewklaokaewbunjong7087]

I am not a parent but I am a teacher of 2-3 year - old - kids. I would say you help me a lot. Thank you for sharing.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

KAEWKLAO KAEWBUNJONG, Welcome to our channel. Invite your teacher friends along for the ride. Welcome to all.

[@lumedgecrew2610]

I have been struggling with my 6, 7, 11 year old. This was exactly what I needed 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad we could connect.

[@sarahm415]

Thank you for giving me hope and patience for my little ones. They deserve it. ❤

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are so welcome, remember, you are the parent they need.

[@byd5801]

Listening to this on first day of school! thanks Dr.Paul

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

BY D, I wish you the best.

[@sarahr7279]

Hi Dr.Paul! Thanks for another great video! The examples really help. I struggle the most with finding appropriate consequences that work. Does your parenting power up cover more of that? I admit to yelling sometimes and I always feel guilty because I wish I could have handled it better. I want to be a better example for them.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

The parenting powerup has more examples and different categories of child development. I am able to go into the principles more so once you have a handle on the principles, it become easier to apply the consequences.

[@cindycampos9499]

Thank you! This is really helpful and got me thinking a lot. I'm going to use these tips. Thank you again, really glad your video popped up on my screen

[@acstone3048]

Can u explain your technique for discipline in public. I don’t know if it’s a sensory issue but my 4 yr old always acts up in public but rarely at home. I feel helpless because obviously I don’t wanna yell or seem like a monster who is dragging her kid and all that ... So how do respond in public when everyone is looking? And I can’t just leave like the doctors office etc

[@tecumseha]

Oh my goodness, YES. A video on this would be so helpful! 👍👍

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I will add it to the list, ANGELCHRISTIANSTONE. It is obviously a topic many parents want help with.

[@acstone3048]

Live On Purpose TV Thank You so much !!

[@acstone3048]

Tecumseh A. Yesssss!

[@evekingstone3434]

I am going to practice calm voice calm face calm body,,,,I can do this,I want to be a good mom,I really do,being a good mom is my biggest dream,the first thing to control is to stop yelling.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Eve Kingstone, you got this and we are here for you.

[@parentingbeyondbehaviours6382]

That’s really great! You can do it! We were both big yellers and we use similar strategies and it worked.

[@amritabhatia5503]

Thank you so much for this video.. had a bad time with my 5 year old. Will try to be more calmer

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

amrita bhatia, that is why I am grateful for tomorrows. Learn from today and do it differently tomorrow.

[@thetlia]

Thank you so much I feel a lot because I was yelling so much at my kids today because I was overwhelmed and stressed out. I feel like I failed as a parent. I’m so so tired because feel like I’m not getting much help from my partner. And most of the time I feel like it’s not my kids it’s me. I feel like they don’t listen to me and I get very overwhelmed. I want to be better. Calm voice, calm face calm body.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thoo family, love them no matter what and even if and we are here for you.

[@MistyReese-i5d]

I know how you feel, this is exactly how I been feeling lately 😔

[@fanglingnewman4333]

My favorite parenting video, thank you!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for your comment!

[@cikugaming4530]

Thank u so much Dr Paul .it's really help me to make us better as parents. And I think we should teach ourselves before we teach our kids. It's like mould. Mould ourselves before we mould our kids.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Wonderful! Zhav's Brain, thanks for being here.

[@mariaeperez19]

Thank you for the tips.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

No problem!

[@joeymallozzi6785]

This dude is on point amen God bless this man

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, Joey.

[@jessicamieres2696]

I love all of your videos. This one in particular brought tears to my eyes at the end... where you thanked me for being a loving parent. I truly do love my children and I am so grateful for them. Thanks for your kind words and great tips!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Honored to be on your team.

[@ireneifereohia8525]

I am trying so hard to put this to practice. Sometimes I start up so well but end up yelling when I become frustrated 🙈Thanks so much Dr Paul, your videos have been life changing for me. You are indeed a Godsent! Will keep striving to do better🤗

[@tecumseha]

Keep trying girl! I am ashamed to say that I have been yelling at my children for too long. But with the help of Dr. Paul's videos, his free Portable Positivity e-book, & the Parental Power-up course (available for purchase), I am slooowly learning how to handle situations better & not yelling so much. A commenter on another video cleverly labeled us "recovering yellers". 😁 We're trying, & that's why we're here! 💛

[@ireneifereohia8525]

@@tecumseha Awww thanks for the encouragement. Lol @ "recovering yellers" Keep up the good work too🤗😍

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Irene Ifere Ohia, You are recognizing what is causing the yelling and that is the first step. Deal with the frustration and you will be on a more positive path. Glad you are enjoying the videos.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks, Tecumseh A., for supporting other parents. We are in this together.

[@poornimaalexander4971]

Brilliant talk! I’ve got many points which I need to apply to my daily behaviour with my kids. I’m glad I came across this video.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am glad our paths crossed. Check out the playlist, so many videos there.

[@Affanaman21]

Oh boy... I like Dr. Paul phrase love them no matter if. Of course every parent loves their kids and in other words it takes a lot of patience. I need that because every parents loves their kids when they listen and they still love their kids when they don't listen it's like a challenge love. My daughter 5 starts comparing herself with her little brother which is 2 like why I don't yell at him. That's what she sees.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad to have you at the channel, Affanaman H.

[@mariesavannah2369]

That is so true If love is not the basic of what we do it will never work

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Pure wisdom, Marie Savannah.

[@gladra9596]

Thank you Dr. Your advice is very touching and realistic. I appreciate it. I’ll be applying these tips!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad Ra, so glad to hear you are giving it a try. Honored to be on your team.

[@preciousndlovu67]

Thank you...very informative

[@DventCraft]

Thanks for your words…

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Dvent Craft, you are welcome.

[@happytears11]

Brilliant! Thank you Dr.Paul.!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, Farida Russel. Honored to be on your team.

[@sarahkirbach5040]

Love this. Thank you it’s so helpful

[@angelarohr2479]

THANK YOU FOR JUST BEING YOU! Your personality is a gift and it's so powerful to " Live on Purpose " ❤ your work has helped so many parents and Families. You are uplifting and inspiring. Your videos short sweet. GOD BLESS. THANKS AGAIN. Have a Happy Day!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Wow, thank you! Appreciate your support.

[@banszkiviktoria]

Excellent, just what I needed...

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I'm honored to be on your positive parenting journey with you, Viktòria Bànszki. Thank you for watching.

[@sylviashalabey1595]

Thank you for this video it really made my day after a gloomy day with my kids 💞💞💞

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Hang in there. There will be brighter days.

[@giannamontanez6130]

So thankful for this. Almost falling apart over here

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad the video is helpful.

[@natureaccent1133]

Thank you for the video, very helpful, however I have a request, can you make a video on activities that siblings do together to encourage teamwork?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Great suggestion! Cat making a come back, I will add the topic suggestion to our list.

[@parentingbeyondbehaviours6382]

Good and practical and sensible strategies! Thanks !

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome!

[@ketostylish]

thank you very much Dr. Paul for another valuable directions you gave us within this video.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad you enjoyed the video, Lousin Sarkisian Ghazelian . Honored to be on your team.

[@m.j.9560]

Hi! I really learn a lot from you, thank you! Unfortunally I have a very clever son at 6 and a half who will copy everything that I do. He also gives me 2 choices now, to try make me do what HE wants. That makes me angry again and feeling helpless. What to do?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

M.J., so he thinks he can take charge? Guess you will have to show him that is not how it works.

[@JessicaTang9202019]

Dr.Paul always waiting for this kind of video,thank you for sharing with us.😊😊😊

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am happy to share what I have learned, Jessica Ilano. Thanks for watching.

[@prometheus160]

i absolutley enjoy and use every video and advice. and to be honest it works as is should. thanks Doc

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks, honored to be on your team.

[@spelldaddy5386]

Can you make more videos anchored toward kids/teens?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Yes, yourestupid. If you have any specific ideas, let me know.

[@MrRaxodine]

Thank you for these

[@desereekjersem7614]

Thank you alwayz 😀 Stay amazing Dr. Paul 👍. Have a phenomenal day everyone filled with lots of unconditional lovez, light, and laughter 😊😘👍👍👍💖💕❤💙💝💫🌠🌟✨🔥🍀🌈☀🌈🌹🌼🌻🌸🎊🎉🎆🎶💰💵💰💵#BESTLIFEEVER

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, Deseree Kjersem. More to come.

[@pjplaydayshow5344]

Very good talk. Thank you so much from this mom who has a second grader who is my fifth child but so different from the others and so much harder to figure out. 😊

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad it was helpful!

[@maxiemme2272]

Tank you very very much! Regards from Poland. 😊

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Hi, Maxi Emme, glad you found the channel and joined the Live On Purpose Family.

[@cortneyc7567]

I get angry so quickly and have no patience. I love my babies so much.. I need help.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Courtney Casey, we have lots of videos to help you. If you need personal coaching, schedule an appointment at www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall.

[@JM-sm8ir]

Sometimes I have to remind myself that I am projecting my emotional frustrations onto my children. It's not them that is Really upsetting me. We all go through these struggles.And often have no support system and just coping as best we can. You are Not alone. Sometimes i just stop and say I'm sorry Mom yelled and try to make it right, the fact that you can be honest with yourself and not try to justify losing control is a big step. The way I was raised my mom was always yelling and ordering everyone around. I decided I dont want to be that kind of Mom anymore. And even when it feels "right" I know that I am wrong. 💖💖

[@brianacarruthers8008]

i felt that. 😓

[@FirstLady77]

What I used to help myself is I put myself in their shoes or position and told myself how I wanted to be treated if I were a child, and this changed my reaction to my children. Because growing up, I hated how my mum used to shout and yell at me in very little things.

[@persidemesa]

I’m 19 and not a parent yet but I’m willing to break generational curses.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

My hat's off to you. Thank you.

[@Macnchedda01]

Grew up an a abusive household just trynna figure out how I can be the best father as possible

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Macnchedda, you are in the right place. You may want to consider a membership to go.liveonpurposecentral.com.

[@Kimsalve05]

Very helpful 😢 Thank you 🥺

[@stephenochosiete9869]

Great video. Thank you.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad you liked it, Stephen Barela. Honored to be on your team.

[@stephenochosiete9869]

Came here again for a reminder.

[@shayleenwebb4021]

So much wisdom ❤️

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Honored to have you at Live On Purpose TV, shayleen webb!

[@randomguythatexists2244]

Yes, yes! Finally!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Random Guy that exists. Thanks for watching!

[@CFEntertainment1]

You will never fail if you never give up. Remember to reflect and forgive yourself during life.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Love this!

[@Mmolesy]

I found a big help was when I led and directed my kids day. I allowed them choice where appropriate. But, instead of giving an instruction and walking off, I was present and if necessary hands on with the task at hand. The moment I stopped directing or leading, chaos insued. Or if they weren't cleaning up their room, I would say, 'oh, I see you're having trouble cleaning up you're room how about you pick up 5 pieces of trash for me and put them in the bin? Then 5 toys, then 5 pieces of dirty clothes etc. 1or, I'd turn it into a race. Whoever gets their part of the room tidied up first, wins. So much less streß and the kids love it. ☺️

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Megan Molesworth, this is gold. You didn't turn it into a negative situation, but made it fun. Great parenting.

[@fortunatephasoana2408]

This is really awesome. Good tips. Thank you and keep up the good work🙂

[@MrJeffMaloney]

Excellent

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you so much 😀

[@Tycoon32]

You are so great. Wow ❤. Thank you

[@darloonie9465]

When you said that about the child thinking about the power they have over the adult, it made me wonder if that could lead to narcissism.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

It might be a factor if the personality had that tendency, Darloonie. I don't think that every child will develop into a narcissist if unchecked. Many other factors involved.

[@serwhit2490]

Do you have a video for setting up children for success. Setting up Task so they can successfully accomplish them correctly and they don't fail.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

ser whit, I will have to think on this. I don't think we have the ability to guarantee success, it is up to the child if they are going to try.

[@kshamanarendra8015]

Sir, I know I m doing wrong by shouting but sometime not able to control. I am able to understand big big disciple or instruction he can't understand but still sometime yelling come suddenly and then I regret. He is just 22 months old.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Kshama Narendra, 22 months is very young, you shouldn't have to yell and shout. Show him through your actions, it takes lots of time, but he will learn.

[@AdoraçãoeLouvor-1010]

I can't stop watching this 😍😍😍 😜😜

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Come back anytime.

[@FaZe_Kaws]

Such a wonderful video Dr Paul ... love from Australia

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks, Pooja Chugh. I love connecting with people around the world.

[@chriserony]

"Meta-cognition is a made up word. We make up words in psychology because it makes us feel smart." I majored in Cognitive Science and I've never heard a more accurate description of literally everything I studied.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

chriserony, have to translate it to help in everyday life.

[@marlons488]

Did you do a video on the "hire me to do it" option?

[@RoutinenReich]

For the choice part, what would be an example for the control choice regarding putting away toys (I have a 5 yo and a 2 yo)? Thanks for your great content!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Good question! Whatever works for your children. An idea could be that if they put away the toys with you they get to keep the toys. If you put them away without them, they go in your room and the kids don't have access to them until they show they can put them away. Some moms play a song when it is clean up time, check out KZbin, there are tons of clean up songs and with continual use, the kids know this is the signal to clean. Some moms give a reward if the toys are cleaned up before the song ends.

[@RoutinenReich]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you so much, this is really helpful!

[@juancarlosbeltran8753]

Genius dude

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Juan carlos Beltran, thanks.

[@marwagad3034]

I was asking my twins to go to bed in a serious voice but at last I decided to yell on the 4th time ...They listened at last when I shouted at them but my eldest daughter was weeping sadly in her bed when I did so .....what broke my heart was that when she asked me whether I love them or not

[@MakelleBell]

Been there, done that. I know how you feel 😥. I tried this technique for the first time yesterday with my 12 year old and it worked, but there is a steep learning curve to get the kids used to this new approach. It requires patience with yourself and them, to change. It's hard. Be kind to yourself ❤️

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Hi Marwa Gad, I echo what Makalie B said. Reassure your daughter you love her and be kind to yourself. It takes time and attempts and failure to change our routines. You are trying and being the parent your children need.

[@mybewitchedlife2217]

OMG Dr Paul! I just stumbled upon your channel. Thank you so much!!! 🥰🥰🥰

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Honored to have you join our Live On Purpose family, My Bewitched Life!

[@Nocturna71]

Thank you

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Welcome, Sergio A. Thank you for watching.

[@rachelnise2473]

Been there with the financial incentive and what happened with the ones that didn't do things is that they got so in debt that it didn't mean anything to them any more.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks for watching and commenting, Rachel Nise.

[@margaritapoladian]

Dr. Paul, thank you for this video. This is amazing.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad you enjoyed the video, margarita Ziababian. Honored to be on your team.

[@VeroNika-gc7mb]

Dr. Paul, the example with 1 grader in my case can turn to fight during my inforcement of "dressing up assistance" with screaming "don't touch me!" and slamming the door in the room or bathroom. What's the next healthy step you can suggest?

[@angelbowman4275]

Nichka I had this problem before. Can you try giving them 2 choices of outfits? You can choose one of these, or an outfit I choose. Let’s see how fast you can get dressed. I have a child who sometimes won’t wear what I pick out, he will pick something non-matching, and do something silly, like put on 3 pairs of socks. When I let him choose to do that, and stopped showing that it bothers me, he eventually stopped doing that.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Giving choices is good, you may have to follow through with enforcing your choice. I would tell the child that yelling and slamming doors will not change the topic and calmly proceed to get him dressed.

[@VeroNika-gc7mb]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV what do you mean by "calmly proceed to get him dressed"? Physically enforcing to dress up? This process wouldn't be calm for sure :) Also I have troubles imagining me successfully dressing him up if he refuses. We are talking about 8 year old boy. Very free willing and rules avoidant person. Thank you so much for responding!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I did not realize he was 8, I was thinking much younger. Yes, you would probably have to find another way but slamming doors is not acceptable behavior and he may lose some screen time or something else.

[@mgyummycake]

@@VeroNika-gc7mb i have same problems with eldest when she was young. You can find more positive things that can be increased or decreased to reach compliance. I loved doing positive charts. Like for any task u want to b done u let them fill a chart. This shows them their hard work or compliance physically. I tried talking with my children about how they also make me feel when they do or dont cooperate. My kids really enjoy one on one where they too speak of their feelings and we do an activity they enjoy

[@pytttanna]

Ty

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, Annabelle.

[@Lukho_M]

I needed this.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you! I am glad you are here.

[@kimll88]

Question, if there are other adults in the family who doesn’t share the same values. How effective is all this goin to be?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Kim Li Lim, the kids will figure it out pretty quickly and know that you mean business and won't bother to yell, but enforce.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Kim Li Lim, the kids will figure it out pretty quickly and know that you mean business and won't bother to yell, but enforce.

[@kristinyaekelnegley3978]

THAT is my hardest thing to do. Separating the emotion from the discipline. That, and knowing how to discipline in the first place.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

It is difficult, but worth the struggle.