How To Be A Man's Priority and Not An Option

[@SaveTheMessenger]

Please support our KZbin channel by Subscribing - kzbin.info It means a lot to me to see you want to learn about these topics.

[@ElizabethNoni-i7z]

What if he doesn't want me to touch his phone? Should I walk away from him?

[@janewasson4845]

Don't be so available! Have friends, hobbies, places to go. No last minute dates. Stay home with Netflix instead of that! Proritize yourself first: clean your home, pay your bills, wash your hair, shop for groceries, wash and gas your car, get your clothes ready for the work week, do laundry, a facial, mani/pedi, ...all that stuff, and take care of your needs FIRST. He can do his own chores, too. Don't you get in the-bad!- habit of doing them. Take your time, dress nicely, don't go to his place, or invite him to yours for a long time. Take your own car in case the date goes badly, so you're not trapped. And later on, remember this, ladies: if you have to ask for love, it's not coming from the person it should. Whomever loves less has the most power in a relationship! Don't EVER be or act desparate. Keep your cool, have dignity, and expect respect!

[@SaveTheMessenger]

One of the best comments I've seen on my channel. Thanks for sharing your insights.

[@anenasusan3781]

I ❤ this

[@janewasson4845]

​. Thanks! Guess you inspire me! ❤️

[@Calmingrainsounds3163]

Thank you for sharing

[@arya6343]

Absolutely 💯

[@annstar2793]

Sometimes you will never be the priority no matter how fantastic you are and all the strategies you have…because it’s not the right person or relationship for YOU. so don’t stay forever waiting around and being treated poorly. Just accept it and move on.

[@योगिताकेशवानी]

True that

[@char2723]

WORD 🙌🏽

[@oweber2160]

1.) Signs your not his priority or main interest (convenience, last minute cancellation, your considered a burden, makes u feel insecure) 2.) Laws of reciprocity (set and speak directly of ur expectations from him) 3.) Balance familiarity & mystery (don’t be predictable) 4.) What feelings are you evoking in him? (peace, purpose & passion) 5.) He won’t let u go easily (make his ass work for it, don’t let him get comfortable)

[@michelle5448]

Noticed a new woman flirting all over his social media, she was introduced to him by a female friend who has a crush on him. Even though she knew we’ve been involved for 10 months. I walked away without a word. I can’t even lower myself to that kind of drama. Haven’t heard a word from him, so I guess my intuition was on point. I think I did the right thing. I had asked him about the situation and he said she was crazy but yet engaging in flirtation anyway. Disrespectful towards me and she dresses like a thirsty sleeze. Embarrassing for them both to be frank. Next….

[@SaveTheMessenger]

You did the right thing in my opinion. But don't be surprised if in a few weeks he reaches out with some excuse or trying to be "friendly."

[@nyamheria]

@@SaveTheMessengerwhen that happens what’s the best way or how can one gently decline?

[@SaveTheMessenger]

Personally, if someone goes silent on me for more than a couple of weeks and then they reach out, I don't reply. Silence is the most powerful sign to let them know you've moved on.

[@samia6888]

I can only dream of walking away like that. I am so incredibly proud of you.

[@francesdonald8743]

​@@nyamheria"no" Is a complete sentence. You do not have to justify your why.

[@waterhyacinth5770]

Thank you so much Isamael, i just got sudden break up after 5years and his decision happen over a day without any sign. I was confused but you give me clarity. I couldnt say im ok now but you saved me. Thank you❤

[@SaveTheMessenger]

You're welcome dear. Best of luck in your new journey.

[@Kakamg26]

Ou big problem is we don't put ourselves in first place. We start pleasing men and forget ourselves. When the relationship is over for whatever reason may be we feel empty and lost. We put our whole happiness on others waiting for them to love us the same way we do and we expect the same in return about everything.

[@careline939]

The first part is SO TRUE. I was dating this guy and he would always cancel plans, demand my attention ALL the time, and also criticize me. Get ready for some TEA to be spilled!! A memorable time is he cancelled plans last minute, and then a few days later, texted me at 3AM (!!) and asked to hang out the next day (Sunday), which is a day I do NOT go on dates on. Then he got mad at me for saying no. LOL. He would also text me during the day, during my school hours (I was in college), and expect to get a response. I did not play, and I told him to leave me alone during certain hours. He would also insult my appearance, said I looked like a man (HE LITERALLY SAID THIS) and I knew he was negging me because I am actually really pretty (I am not blind OR stupid. You'd have to be both to call me ugly). This guy would also make really sexual jokes, couldn't carry a conversation well and would always go sexual. He tried to get me to bend my boundaries on intimacy (I don't do sexual things until he puts a ring on it). He would also joke about "taking me to Vegas so we could get married for a night and have fun". Ick. Disgusting. I did not approve of that behaviour but he didn't change. The scary thing is, he would always say things like "let me know if I say something uncomfortable, I don't want to upset you" and "I'm so caring, you can tell me anything, I won't judge, I don't want to make you uncomfortable". I tested this by telling him to stop making comments on my hair because "I have an insecurity". He stopped for a week, and then went at it again like nothing happened. He would also compare me to other girls and call me basic etc (let me tell you, I am NOT basic. Not even saying this like it's a bad thing, because it's not!! But I have never ever been called basic by ANYONE. Most people think I am weird. This guy was genuinely delusional). Spoiler alert: after a mere month of dating we broke up, how tragic!! The guy I'm seeing now is the EXACT opposite. He texts me every day, always builds me up instead of trying to bring me down. He is confident in himself, and in me, and in GOD! He is a God-fearing man, and follows Godly principles. He looks after me, always makes sure I'm well, shares his knowledge with me and is ALWAYS patient and kind when I have questions about things. He never makes derogatory jokes about me or our relationship - quite the opposite! He makes (half serious) jokes about marrying me and doing things together. I love him. It's night and day between these two guys. TLDR: If the guy is annoying and makes you uncomfortable just leave (unless you want to learn manipulation tactics). Otherwise, don't even BOTHER.

[@SaveTheMessenger]

I hope other women are reading about your experience. Thanks for taking the time to share your journey. I'm glad things are working out with the new guy.

[@careline939]

@@SaveTheMessenger Thank you so much for your comment!!

[@BrightNinsiima]

I like the way you behaved with maturity yet you are still in school, thank you 💕 May God grant you all you want in a man I have learnt a lesson from you yet I am 30 older than you ❤

[@careline939]

@@BrightNinsiima Thank you so much

[@WILCOsurgtech]

Dating for a mere month with nothing sexual is not a relationship, it is not even a friend. Hardly an acquaintance.

[@veliyelis-oh8tu]

Due to my mother and my great grandmother I learned to avoid to accept the men who do not appreciate you as a person so when I started dating I never tolerated the men who umilited me because of my old fashion hobbies the proves that I am too snobish (to read, to travel, cultural diversity, to paint and so on), the men to critize my dressing style (the dress are too expensive and since I prefer to practice sport I can dress in jeans but I have to impecable in front of his family members and his friends), the men who asked me from the first date to change (to do not go to do my manichiure, the make up is too much in spite the fact that I never used few products, to not practice sport, the fact that I spoke several languages), the men who did not agree to go to different courses to perfect myself in profesional life or to develop my personal skills), the men who immediatly after the first date called me and imposed me to leave everything and come to another date too meet, the men who at the first date try to change you by comparing you with other women or worst with his exes, the men who after the first date at a coffe behave like you are already in a relationship with them or worse they impose you too choose between them and your family. So I prefer to remain single than too be in a relationship with the wrong man so 2 years ago when I meet my present partener I never regret the fact that I was selective because he accepted me the way I am, he appreciates my independece and since both of us concentrained mostly on our jobs and since we have the same life values and principles we learned to do compromises for our relationship.

[@emrosesupmat]

I don't Chase men online, I learned from You. I am positive and happy believe there will be a good hearted and kind hearted foreigner man for me in the future

[@DivyaSingh-mm1pk]

That's true Ismael 🎉😊 Always be his priority rather than just a option, most important thing is never ever forget your own principles & respect . ❤😊

[@rhodoramaravilla]

Expectations of being a priority for a man is when the man is single and no children from his previous relationships or marriages. The lady should be selective in choosing a partner, someone who is single, no commitments and no previous marriage. In that way, you will live a wonderful and peaceful life with your partner. 😊

[@WILCOsurgtech]

You do not have do be priority one, but you should be in top 5 at least. Preferably top 3. Nothing wrong with a man who has other things in his life, just like you do.

[@rifidelaniaa]

I like how he's explaining, he always get into the point

[@dooiesama]

I don’t want to be a man’s priority men should beg me for being my priority

[@nascentnaomie]

🎯

[@celestehogan5907]

Such Wonderful advice. We needed you decades ago. Where were you? Not born yet?? No excuses!!!

[@anne4002]

If i am a man's first priority i am getting bored, I don't feel attracted to that man. If I'm not his priority, i get depressed. I think it's better alone until i figure myself out. 😢

[@AlessandraHernandezz]

It could be that the men showing you interest in you aren’t truly attracted to, or your attachment style is anxious or avoidant. We usually seek emotionally unavailable men if we haven’t healed from our childhood wounds and grew up in a home with emotionally unavailable parents.

[@EsraaEsraagaber3001]

Amazing as usual ! I strongly agree with the third point .Keep going,Ismael💙

[@AniaGwardysGXUHHBH]

Looks like so obvious what you said in your film but so difficult, for me to apply especially when I stand face to face with a man...😔 they always win and I always loose. I hate that feeling but always try to please a man forgetting about myself! How to change it? How to finally believe in self confidence? The most difficult fight is about itself!!!

[@SaveTheMessenger]

Figure out what's the feeling you're after when trying to please a man. Is it being accepted, loved? Is it avoiding conflict? Is it fear of losing someone walking away?

[@AniaGwardysGXUHHBH]

@@SaveTheMessenger 100% 3rd option that is why I prefer to walk away...Besides I wonder what is wrong with me that after let's say a year they usually start cheting on me and find another woman and I become an option... If I start to feel it I walk away with broken heart😔 Scenario is always the same...

[@AniaGwardysGXUHHBH]

I have the same situation...

[@franciscoallyssabiancaa.8012]

Thank you so much Ismael for your videos. You don’t know how much your advices helped me. Your advices are on point reality and makes so much sense rather than all other channels. You are my favorite coach! Stay humble and may God bless you more and more!

[@lindageiling5922]

This seems like alot of work for the woman. Sometimes her absence means nothing . Fir me I've tried building him up, showing all the love I could , helping him ,encouraging him etc n he still treated me like garbage. He expects to be catered to by all women. I was his ATM . N he would beg me for money n if I said no he belittled me.laid guilt. Called me selfish. . On n on. I don't never come across a man that don't act like a boy. It's disgusting. I'm over men n being used. I found that no matter what I did , said or acted , he didn't appreciate or care.

[@Hattie-d9b]

My father told me and two sisters never give a man or lend him money he should be able to support himself if not he is not worth ur time and space alway as women know ur values never depend on anyone I have always stood by what dad said I have my own car and apartments living comfortable if I met someone I never let then know what I have just to see where he's coming I don't do guys that live with their parent and don't work or have car it's a waste of time cause he's a mama boy or looking for someone to move in with so ladies ask ? So you don't be second a look ways be first dont be nobody side chick and that goes for the guys to just saying

[@Ifidreamitidoit3566]

All his so - called advice sounds draining as*. If a relationship cannot be naturally sweet and reciprocal then draining your energy trying to do all this to tick a bunch of boxes so he will prioritise you is not worth it. The one good thing that I took from his video is to give a man peace feelings instead of drama feelings, HOWEVER why should it be all on us women to do XYZ to keep him?! It should be the other way around!!

[@andziagreen4922]

Ismael thank you💜🔥🙏 you are right. I did all the mistakes and ignored all red flags. Healing now for a long time.

[@emannaeem5664]

Your videos is so helpful and now I’m thankful to you for opening my eyes

[@delmazio1]

Love yourself and know your worth… love and peace can be found inside of you, not from people to give it back to you. 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

[@RR-kv1zj]

He tries to be so good to me only when he needs money. Else he tries to search for other girls who can pay for him and who can roam out with him. He makes the girls make blunder mistakes, so they run after him and think about him all the time

[@francesdonald8743]

Leave, run, and ask yourself why you do not choose something better..

[@dreamkrypto3098]

I literally am on youtube all the time and almost never like or comment. Found you tonight tho because of youtube AI (duh!) sending me like minded things. Honestly though I have a background of sorts in attraction and polarity yet sill you just explained some things to me that literally no one i' have studied before has quite explained in the same way. Or, maybe it was just now it's what I meed to hear. The last point of the video was the most powerful, for me.Nice to enter your world, Ismael. That's the title of one of my all time favorite books, i have even had cocktails with the author, Daniel Quinn. Anyways!

[@SaveTheMessenger]

Great book. My sister gave it to me on my 30th birthday. Thanks for your comment.

[@irinen5217]

First here 🙌 love your content .. thank you for all you do ❤🙏

[@SaveTheMessenger]

That's very sweet of you. Thank you.

[@Debbie-pq4xr]

Thanks so much for this opportunity to learn.

[@sanjuvikasini1598]

Amazing tips!

[@beroha2975]

Ismael Gomez lll, I like your sense of humor so much! 🎉... thinking about the very end of your today's video... Thank you for your thoughts and trues.🙏🏽 Greetings from Switzerland🤗

[@ibounceback123]

Thanks❤.. That was really helpful..

[@JAF1955]

Why would someone ignore when you say good morning or good night? Told me I’m too formal and religious. I’m not changing who I am to be with a narc.

[@marielim8224]

1st of all me n my man are long distance relationship..he always wants me to message him everyday a few times..if I message him late or too long he will start asking n think I am talking to other men..I love him so much I wouldn't do that..I trust n respect him..we got to have trust

[@francesdonald8743]

You trust him but he is not reciprocating that trust.. and you call this love? I think you have a childhood trauma you have not resolved, and have an attachment style that is not conducive to your needs. So, as Ishmael says, if you want a better relationship, you have to work on yourself first. I felt abandoned by friends and family in my youth and it csused me to help people in need through life. My last partner was homeless, and guess what? He took advantage of my hospitality, and friendship. The best I can say is we got each other through Covid, and I have discovered an interest in laymen psychology, where I am now studying narcissism. You may find the *Crappy Childhood Fairy" channel on youtube interesting as well. I thought my childhood was stable with 40-year-old parents. However, I resonated so much with her content that it forced me to see things through a different lens than my perceived normal.

[@AnnValenzuela-l1z]

😮thanks for the spot on and very realistic/truthful advices, dear!!...veryyyy spot on,dear... thanks alot, really.😊👍👍

[@RR-kv1zj]

First point is absolutely true applies to me, i mean I’m facing the same situation

[@theologyofthesoul]

Ismael, I have a question. I know this is minimal information, but, What does it mean if a man you are dating (exclusively as of a month), who had been recently talking about wanting to marry you, ghosts you in reaction to you, for the first time, telling him you are sad about it but need to cancel the following weeks plans with him because you accidentally confused dates you were scheduled to be in court and need to have important paperwork completed (it's all a positive thing in this case and he knows it)??

[@mirablejo7858]

So basically, be confident and independent and don’t deal with bullshit. We really needed 8 minutes to explain that?

[@Birdienamnamsi]

This is really smart… think i want to book a session with you ismael

[@alenaadamkova7617]

Healthy Women also like to hold his hand, or some type of hug, for example....when doing activities as walking in city, watching architecture or sitting in yard together For women holding the hand or some hug, its both nurturing her emotions and nurturing his emotions...or caring about him, his wellbeing to feel the closeness, when ewatching tv etc. So the quote"What you seek is seeking you" I guess its pleasure probably for the man as well, the feeling of someone cares about me, she holds my hand, but also she feels the same feeling. Its like nonsexual intimacy, lôike nurturing I guess if it is the type of woman who also gives him a space to be by himself when its neccesary for him, do his hobbies etc.

[@34prachishinde89]

actually he treated me like a princess before but later on we had fights so he broked up with me but we are still friends but he's totally changed he doesn't text me that often now idk what should I do he said he only has 45% love for me remaining

[@lindalika2846]

Thank you for your great advice 😊

[@Ray-h1v]

Listening to learn English ❤

[@VyNguyen-lg4ke]

really helpful, thanks

[@emrosesupmat]

I am 46 years old.divorced.i not yet find a good hearted and kind hearted foreigner man for me. I am happy and positive person. I am a blogger I have my own You tube channel Emrose Supmat. I love listening and watching videos on KZbin everyday. I love to keep learning.

[@Angel-lm6cj]

I love love seeing your videos. 👍 ❤ a big hug for you. Thank you 🙏

[@relaxbebe]

How in the world Ismael Gomez have so much knowledge and looks so young. I’m trying to figure out you lol.

[@Princess29-y9k]

Thanks for sharing ❤

[@claireSE16]

Spot on !

[@aashvarma9884]

Thank you❤🙏 you saved me

[@Aysh_khan_i]

Thank you Ismael. I'm leaving him RN I'm done

[@elizakollitidou195]

Thank you!

[@anushaparitala7131]

Thank you❤

[@peterpisspotty3052]

Amazing advice

[@Portia620]

Wrong we are NOT making a mistake…they are and let them do as they wish! 😂😂😂🥂🥂🥂

[@Love-np2rt]

Excellent❤❤

[@PragatiVyas-p5u]

Sometime man only priotrise there families not woman of his life or his wife.he respect everybody except wife and her family and thats hirt more

[@susan707-f9v]

What does it mean when your husband never wants to touch you?

[@DragonMim]

😢

[@francesdonald8743]

​@@DragonMimIf you like physical intimacy in a relationship, how on Earth did you choose this man to marry?? I would suggest that he learned at an early age that intimacy was unsafe (worst case) or not required, as demonstrated by the adults he learned socialization skills from as a young person.

[@normapretorius-lk8df]

Ismael I met a man fleetingly now this was weird very weird every one else was blurred in my line of sight but when he spoke to me he was as clear as 20 20 vision I was surprised and a bit shocked my friends Dillon and Ally and everyone else was blurred in the background almost Ally said he was following us without my knowledge but it felt fine not scary or creepy is he a possible soul mate?

[@inirzsrh8976]

This is hard I did all the best I can and he still thinks he could do better

[@Versatile668]

I'm just minding my business on here I'm not chasing after any dudes or any of that just saying

[@chatsu5441]

What about how to make men change for women?

[@francesdonald8743]

You have much personal self-improvement work to do if you think that you can change anybody in any relationship that you have. Every individual person on this planeIt is self authoring, just like you. Would you want someone to enter a relationship with you, desiring to improve and change you to mold you into their idea of the perfect mate? I think not!! Someone who wishes to weild. control over another is generally considered to be a narcissist. Or a psychopath.

[@evawebster1518]

@@francesdonald8743 It's not about changing the person, but asking for changes in the way he/she behaves. If certain behaviors are harmful, a request to change those behaviors must be made. If that request is ignored, then we learn what we need to know.

[@Ifidreamitidoit3566]

He's says it's not playing games...yeah right 😂. If you have to do all these steps because you fear a man losing interest then yes it certainly IS playing games. Fear based BS games

[@xWabbli]

Hence, you mustn't just follow all the steps but embody them. You must change your mindset and yourself. Not just follow the steps and stay the same. Don't pretend to put yourself first but really make yourself your priority! I'm trying to learn that now. And it's so hard. But we can do this! Keep it up

[@MalakMalooka-eu7vx]

Why I didn't know u before 🙂💔

[@SaveTheMessenger]

You found me at the right time.

[@MariaTeresitaDumangeng-rz8xi]

It's all manifest to my hubby so meaning he is not interested in me

[@saraherrick4675]

What girl should be saying goodmorning more then he does?? Needs to be reciprocal.

[@marufgazi9025]

20:19❤ ... 10/08 sat

[@evelinvahter4255]

Headline and topic don't match

[@DesBaby-b2w]

😮

[@MirhaAnsari-mz4cl]

😢😢😢😢

[@angelachanellehuang5663]

Islam saves relationships

[@rianiputri5257]

LOL😂😂😂😂

[@DuaaAmir-mc1gq]

Yes

[@Toni_Snark]

This channel is just regurgitating all those other “expert” advice for women channels by someone who is basically copying and pasting. Nope. 👎🏻

[@francesdonald8743]

I vehemently disagree with your comment and find great value in this gentleman's content and delivery style. If it does not work for you, move on.

[@janelibatique-nb8zr]

🥰💖💖💖

[@wealthbammy1208]

The last point hits differently 🥹Thanks for sharing ❤

[@coralbrune]

3 P(s) 5:41 Very Good