How To Be More Confident

[@BambaMob]

"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are difficult." - Seneca

[@brianpistolwhip]

@@BambaMob great quote 👍

[@SingularitySurvivor]

Aligns perfectly with his thoughts ✨

[@coerciasink]

confidence comes from being okay with failures, not by certainty of success.

[@riddlydiddly666]

I'd say it's the other way around. Accepting failure doesn't make you confident. Maybe it makes you aloof, or indifferent, or too exhausted to care, or too traumatized by past failures outside of your own control to place any emotional weight into the expectation of success. Being confident means knowing that failure isn't final, it's an unwavering belief that in the end, you will be satisfied with the journey and its destination. With that comes the ability to accept failure, knowing that that failure is only one step toward eventual success. Confidence absolutely comes from certainty of success - just not certainty of success *right now*.

[@menelik6635]

@@riddlydiddly666 But the only certainty is death and that to me is mutually exclusive with success.

[@riddlydiddly666]

That's no way to go through life, brother. You're right, the world promises us nothing, not even tomorrow. That's why confidence only comes about when you promise yourself the future that you want and struggle and fail every step of the way there.

[@coerciasink]

@@riddlydiddly666 I think I meant to say "prepared" for failure, not to be indifferent.

[@blopartDGRI]

I'll quote you some day :)

[@adgun12356]

Doing difficult things 100% agree. Living with difficult ppl.... 100% disagree

[@SycosenMerihem]

All you gotta do is get married.

[@gatorssbm]

The latter was what majorly contributed to me having no confidence at one point so yeah lol.

[@dynawesome]

It could be something in the translation or interpretation. I think it means living with people who challenge you (not people who make your life miserable)

[@winstonoswald-drummond2536]

I assumed it meant like live with other hard-working, disciplined people. Not difficult as in toxic.

[@winstonoswald-drummond2536]

Your interpretation might be right though

[@El_Kurk0]

my brain when i succeed at something difficult : It wasn't THAT hard

[@moraigna66]

100% me as well. Can we fix this?

[@aspynk1198]

@@moraigna66I’m guessing so. Celebrating and interrupting those unwarranted self-criticisms help

[@Ryosuke1208]

The only difficult things are the things that we haven't done yet :)

[@tristvn6]

@@moraigna66 isn’t this a good thing though? Why do you want to fix it?

[@El_Kurk0]

@@tristvn6 because it undermines your struggles/achievements ,turning them into something trivial ,stopping you from building confidence because it was "easy"

[@farenough5878]

My english sucks but i want to share my experience. I always was so soft and unsteady like a snail, no confidence at all. I was so polite that i almost wispered at people. Lol. Then i change a job and got in workspace with kinda toxic and loud coworkers, and i had to be loud too, because i needed to control behavior of random visitors. I struggled a lot. Like really a lot. Got bunch of issues like insomnia and even acne. But 2 years after i am still alive, i love my job and you won't recognise me, i became confident, loud and maybe a little bit toxic too, but not too much, because i watch Dr K and trying to be better person. Yay! Not an easy way, yes...

[@NameNik223]

Nice story (and near-perfect English)! I remember that I was very scared to call strangers and talk to them until I got a job as a delivery guy when I was 20. During this job I *had* to call people on their phones and then come to their apartments and give them their order. After working there for about a year, I never had any problem calling a stranger on a phone anymore!

[@smollilbean]

Omg same but my experience has been that I was able to get out of my comfort zone through the influence of extroverted but nice classmates. I was also a really shy little girl in school and I was literally scared to speak my opinions out load because of fear of other people judging me😭 I turned 20 a few days ago and changed my field of study and my classmates are nice people in their late teens, they're loud, joke around a lot and give their opinions freely even if that might have somebody else laugh at them, but they don't care. And that makes me want to be the same: be comfortable with myself and not care what other people think of me. I'm starting to feel more social and friendly already

[@Islaras]

❤❤❤

[@Kailova07]

Dark Souls unironically made me more confident for this very reason.

[@novelty_thief]

And Monster Hunter! That's what helped me. Adapting to new movements and attacks everytime shapes you like that

[@Azur1200]

Similar but with Trackmania and other racing games

[@Cerubim]

Only up! anyone :D? Also has this great message of overcoming/achieving the "impossible". I must say that elephant really was a negative motivation for me ^^'. "You won't make it! You are a weak kid.." Just shut up! Said to myself "I will make it and I will get to the top! Even if I fail it is ok. I learn from my mistakes and try again, and if I just get a little bit higher than the day before it is a win already!" After many painful falls I finally did it at last and reached the top!

[@paulv2348]

Funny, I hated the gameplay for Elden Ring (one dimensional to me, felt boring after 2 playthrough), but I loved monster Hunter's one (changing weapons is like playing a different game! Sank 1000s of hours between World and Rise and so much fun). But I loved ER graphics and exploring much more than the MH repetitive grind. ER was the most beautiful game I played. BOTW, while being much simpler, was the most balanced of the 3 (did 3 runs blindly). Fun gameplay and fun to explore, and not forced to grind, and a good story and beautiful world. I wonder what it means for my path and vision of what I like to achieve and seek in the irl world

[@ashrunzeda4099]

A mix of difficult environment/task BUT having supportive peers I think is the best way the get confidence. Not only do you make yourself aware of what you're capable of, but your belief in yourself is also reinforced by the people that support you. I guess that what makes some slum people very ballsy. They're already born with the perfect ingredients to make a person confident.

[@kewoshk]

I guess having the difficult environment but no real support made me into a person who doesn’t believe in herself.

[@mordecaiissad8529]

Idk, i tried to do that this past year but i feel it left me exhausted and even more anxious. Im just wishing for some peace and rest for a while that i cant get.

[@gatorssbm]

Yeah torturing yourself can also make it fire up in the opposite direction. Just is very confusing to me seeing this video but if anything whats got me to stop feeling unconfident is accepting not everything will go the way I want and I should be comfortable with my own thoughts then the rest came later.

[@vinityyy]

Yeah that just means you are not ready. When you are ready you will do it and wont even think about it. For me thats the easy way to live and i do more difficult things today that i couldnt do before only because ive reached the state of alignment to it. Sometimes gotta rest and get where you want to be mentally first. And action will follow naturally.

[@Puerco-Potter]

Doing difficult stuff ≠ doing stuff until you burn out. You need to challenge yourself and take some responsibilities, but not exhaust yourself all the time, keep it manageable. So the hard stuff, then rest, then do more. It's like a good videogame design, they will give you a task that is difficult at first, you have to work hard and improve, once you reach that then they will give you the same level of difficulty for a while, so you can feel powerful, accomplished and confident before giving you the next challenge. It's a cycle: challenge - confidence - challenge - confidence.

[@Nerdy-By-Nature]

You likely need to regulate your nervous system first.

[@Portia620]

I’m not capable of much! I fail all the time! 😂😂. I NEVER fail at believing in myself! Always confident I’ll learn something new and have fun driving myself nuts trying to learn something new!

[@Ananalias]

I love your attitude

[@maxwellwang795]

I've done difficult things but lost confidence the moment my father dismissed my accomplishments as something expected and ordinary. You can't be confident without people who give proper emotional support.

[@Gnomezonbacon]

"WE CHOOSE TO GO TO THE MOON AND DO THE OTHER THINGS! NOT BECAUSE THEY ARE EASY BECAUSE THEY ARE HARD!"

[@RicoGG]

I have found a lot of confidence in daily affirmations. I have been doing it for years and it’s finally stuck. I’ve been talking about it a lot in your discord and I think it’s even helped a few people

[@lillia2724]

I always view suffering( difficult situations more like ) = learning experience. Ofc i would always get stressed during those difficult situations but when i got past it, i learn more of my capabilities and always trying to do more. I dont like staying in my comfort zone for too long now cuz of this

[@Seleznyaka]

Highly recommend book "the sweet spot" by paul bloom, its about suffering and its meaning in our lives. Eyes opening book

[@captaingabi]

But you MUST finish those difficult tasks SUCCESFULLY, otherwise you will actually loose confidence. And the possibility of loosing confidence is what holds people back. It is a double edged sword, as everything in life is. People tend to circumwent it by saying to themselves "there is no failure, only experience gains" or similar, but deep down they still loose a little bit of confidence anyway. Those who do not loose confidence in case of failure usually are socio or psychopaths, or have some mental disorder.

[@powerdude_dk]

Slam dunk in my self-confidence. I'm starting to feel it. But I'm not quite there yet. I still don't trust my own decision with many things, because I know how many things can go wrong

[@Intellectual-Warrior9]

Thank you sir your my comfort zones worst enemy and I love it.

[@bellewhite3764]

Agree with this, I intentionally add minor difficulties to my training to push myself and see if I can take it. Confidence in my abilities rises from this, and makes me want to build more difficulties in 🤓

[@luk4aaaa]

My last 6 years have been really difficult due to undiagnosed ADHD, but I’ve pushed through and also accomplished some things I’m proud of. Now I have a diagnosis and medication and I haven’t experienced anxiety in 2 months or so. Life feels so mich easier, but I make sure to still challenge myself because I have grown to like it and it makes my future easier.

[@dankone3]

I think they call that.. “getting high”. Good job getting yourself addicte-I mean, medicated!

[@kewoshk]

That’s great to hear! I’ve only recently confirmed that I have ADHD, and my doctor prescribed me an antidepressant that’s effective on the dopamine system (Wellbutrin) because I’ve been suffering from somewhat intense apathy and anhedonia for a while now. I’ll get it today and try how it goes. I wish all the best to you 👍

[@luk4aaaa]

@@kewoshk hope you get similar results to what I got, it was an unreal feeling when the world slowed down to a normal pace and 30 minutes felt like 30 minutes for once.

[@eipechacko4344]

Difficultly or challenges truly test our physical and mental strengths. And overcoming them gives confidence. And lack of it brings lack of trust and doubt in ourself. And it even helps in improving spirituality as we often overcome difficulties not just from our own abilities but also from some unknown or unexplainable reasons beyond our capacities.

[@kewoshk]

I feel like being brought up in an overprotective environment set me up for failure. I’ve only gotten diagnosed with ADHD last week too, at 29. Can’t get my years back but I’ll see what I can do further down the road 👍

[@AlvinKazu]

Living with difficult people is a no no... I take "Difficult" in this way as "Abusive." I don't want to be around difficult people who are that way. If "Difficult" means someone who pushes you to success and wants what's best for you, but in not the easiest way, that's different.

[@rikiiricardog]

Protect this man at all cost!! ❤

[@dammydepolonia]

I think I agree. The part about difficult people has made me feel guilty though. Or just has made me realize that perhaps I don't possess enough courage right now? Currently I'm in an environment in which I feel miserable. I share Airbnb's with my workmates, with whom I don't have a good relationship. They intimidate me and I have made many mistakes in front of them, some of them caused by fear which made me act impulsively instead of rationally. I have social anxiety, in addition. So I feel like in a vicious cycle - I lessen myself in front of them out of fear, I rarely have courage to stand up for myself, and the past mistakes dictate my field of possibility (which is very narrow; I just act like a small mouse, not to further piss them off). It's a really complex matter and most of it comes down to effective communication, self-respect, and separating stuff (the past shouldn't influence what I'm able or not able to do now). But out of fear, I feel just incapable. So theoretically, I could learn much from them and develop a lot; but I'm all alone here and just afraid, doing the minimum that's expected of me. I know it's also probably a matter of scale, perhaps this isn't the right moment, perhaps the circumstances are too difficult for me to handle ATM, especially given the fact that all my social support and peers are abroad. I know I shouldn't bash myself for what is happening. Yet, something tells me that this would be a great opportunity to grow... to learn how to respect myself, how to treat myself in situations where I'm not liked / accepted and yet standing firmly and pursuing the values I believe in... yet, it all seems masochistic. Yes, I want to escape. I want to get away from here ASAP cuz it's mentally excruciating to live like that daily, in distress. It's draining. So I'm telling myself this story that, when I find myself around strangers again, I'll start well from the beginning - set the expectations, rules, boundaries, and treating myself like an adult from the beginning: assuming responsibility, but also not letting the others intimidate me to the point where I doubt my own reason. It feels just... somewhat bad that I feel I'm not able to use in practice all the stuff about responsibility, learning from others, letting go of ego and pride etc. I'm more concerned with the fact of how many times I've made a fool of myself here, or that it's embarrasing to ask for help a person that considers you a burden. It feels somewhat bad to feel out of strength to pursue all these adult traits, yet another part of me that's more self-compassionate really thinks that this job and the character of it (sharing the flat with the mates, moving constantly, lack of predictable routine etc.) is too much for me at this point of my life, or is out of alignment with my personality. I want to grow, yes, but not in conditions that are slowly killing me. The truth probably lies somewhere in the middle.

[@shrutisharda5270]

there is a difference between wrong people and difficult people. move from that place. difficult is fine.. not at any cost of self value where you have to feel low about self. difficult doesn't feel like that.

[@Elyfairy]

I’ve always been confident and I realized it’s because from a young age I had focus and discipline with a winners mindset. I knew if I put in the work I could win, and I did. Confidence comes from believing in yourself, putting in the work, overcoming difficulty, and winning.

[@l.al.y5604]

Dr K I have a question. What if we went through hell itself and back, by the age of 30, and we are just tired... therefore we just wish for an easy and simple life, do we become complacent? What if we're just tired of the storm, and just wanna be safe and sound somewhere? Figuratively speaking

[@CapitanoDyingByTheSword]

I suppose the one issue with that story is that living with difficult people isn't always that great, especially if it gets abusive. I get what's trying to be conveyed though (I think) about greater struggle leads to a more concrete idea of how you want to get things done and all that

[@T3FAT]

This is my issue my whole life! I have always challenge myself with shit i enjoy and taking easy way out rest of life Now i lack confidence in so much of the things I thought i did not care about

[@aljonserna5598]

For gamers like we are, like Left 4 Dead 2 confidence is like being able to handle normal, advanced and expert and on realism as you become largely comfortable in easier difficulties--even if you have to try lots of times but still able to finish them, the satisfaction is so freaking orgasmic

[@mark0yo874]

i think its also choosing the diffucultie i work at a job that was pickt for me and i dont like it and im not wery good at it but i also dont have the confidence to find another.The job is close to my home and recently i got good coleges to help me but it was a difficult road for 3 years ,and now am afreid to change my job even do i dont much care for it sorry for the long commet i just need to writte this

[@YC-cd3by]

If you constantly put yourself in difficult situations, theres a good chance you will discover more of what you CAN'T do as opposed to what you CAN. Thus confirming your insecurities. It's ok to be positive, but watch out for motivational speech that brings forth bias and delusion.

[@rosswhitlock12347]

I have been trying to live a lesser life for 10 years now and I have failed miserably. I find no stability in it. At this point, it makes more sense for me to just go for the greater life.

[@GeneralSzadek]

wonderful. thank you

[@fearguyQ]

A great secular version of this that ive developed is you have to start providing yourself with *evidence* that you are capable and therefore the confidence is justified. Without that evidence you may be able to manage spurts (you need to be able to start taking the risks in the first place to have pieces of evidence), but it won't become a sustained undercurrent. But the second part is that you have to see it as evidence or your brain can straight up miss it. You might attempt XYZ a few times, have good, mixed, bad results -- doesnt matter. If you don't take the moment to see it as building evidence that you can do or at minimum you can try, it might not stick. That's how it was for me.

[@alimay967]

Wow this is deep!!!

[@tomislav5689]

I'm pretty much tired of a difficult life right now. So I would like an easy life anyway.

[@bluetopia42]

I'd luv seeing you discussing with Sadghuru on the Videogame / healthy gaming topic.

[@singularity_josh8063]

I agree. But i think that quote from Buddha could be more specific. Some people may take it go and try and fix others. Its too generalized.

[@Franzifii]

I had to go through many many many hard things in my life. Yet I'm not very confident.

[@Lisa19000]

Is the difference... choosing to do a difficult thing and going through a difficult thing, bc you have no other choice, but to do so?...ACTUALLY!!! I think that the difference is that you aren't taking credit for choosing to survive/make it through, etc your difficult time/things. Everyone has a choice. Whether they realize it or not. I think that you are not acknowledging that fact. Maybe if you realize that you actually paid more of an active role in showing up for yourself in those difficult times, you'll trust and believe in yourself more. Much love on your journey towards person growth and confidence ❤️

[@Franzifii]

​@@Lisa19000 You make a really good point here! Thank you :)

[@tommysalami420]

Make a bet with yourself your wildest dreams are imaginable Start working to Them!

[@dend1]

Why end it on a cliffhanger? How to gain Confidence always ends on a cliffhanger. Surviving failure, self acceptance, dissolving ego and now embracing difficulty

[@ChuckyWhisky]

I used to be the most timid, unconfident, hugging to my comfort zone kinda girl for 23 years of my life. I was able to achieve confidence not fully but at least mostly by pushing myself out of the comfort zone. This meant going to the gym alone, doing groceries alone, creating a dish by myself. The career I chose also helped me push me out of my comfort zone (requires to be an excellent communicator) I was really happy when I saw this video and clicked on it because I’m glad it validated the fact that confidence can only be gained through difficulty

[@spontaneousbootay]

That's part of it but confidence is quite simple. You have to breathe into that uneasy feeling and express it. Then you will feel like you can handle anything like you do every day.

[@waterlemon3885]

Dr.K: How do we be more confident? Nike: Just do it.

[@vorxer]

"Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men" - JFK, Call of Duty Black Ops Zombies

[@Tindre]

Ok? But heres the fact. If things are always difficult all the time and you keep failing, thats also showing what youre capable of. And that in turn means your self confidence gets deleted. Example- toxic people/bullies/taking on too much/health issues. So by this measure it is correct that my self confidence should be low. That means it cant be changed before I am able to have issues I can beat again and which means I need it to be a little easier.

[@chris1549]

It's the failure of difficult things which causes self disappointment

[@patryk5654]

Doing things make me anxious

[@markopetricek4630]

That is the part of it, my friend. In time you build some resistance. Difficulty won't just go away. I struggled with being introverted earlieri in life, now in my thirties I am doing a lot better. Believe in yourself

[@stanislavserman1200]

I do have an easy life in wartime and I am extremely insecure about myself despite 6 months of therapy I have done so far

[@fruntlelobians]

Buddha is such a cool dude ❤

[@sophiewalsh5492]

I feel like I’ve done a lot of difficult things and I’ve weathered more than most people by this point in my life, but for some reason, I still feel chronically stressed. I could just be burned out right now but it feels like as soon as I finish one project, I feel like I’m incapable of moving into the next thing even tho I’ve literally done it a million times before. I know logically that I am literally capable of doing the thing, but it doesn’t feeeeel like that in my heart

[@egomaniac1209]

So your brain knows that you're capable of doing something, but your heart doesn't think so, always go with your brain in such cases, besides, what could also explain such a feeling is probably how much and how long it takes to complete a project despite knowing how to do it, which makes you feel overwhelmed at the beginning but relieved at the end

[@shelbyjackson6903]

What about when you fail every difficult thing you've ever tried? Hard to have confidence when all you know is failing.

[@trojaner98]

Thank you that one hit home.

[@casualnerdjason6678]

(Dating myself here…) but one of the “positive” aspects of pickup/dating scene of the mid-late 00s was the lesson that you can build confidence through rejection.

[@Levy-p3y]

Bohot dino Planning ko Procrastinate kar raha hu jisse pura confused hu ki kya karna hai kya nai Aaj pakka se pakka karunga puri Planning. And Tasks pe action lunga.

[@Laghound]

Its just like DARK SOUUU- but fr. In Dark souls you try to take on a challenge and it is difficult. Everytime you fail, you learn and eventually you get success or knowledge of your capability.

[@Mrdefa1]

damn, this guy has banger after banger

[@adeptmage2293]

So do easy things and rot away or do difficult things and want to rot away

[@youngj8520]

The best confidence builder is experience

[@ruthie_chie]

What if you worked so hard and such a difficult life and failed so much you can’t do difficult things anymore

[@shrutisharda5270]

look for what makes you happy, while it might feel tough yet interesting and sometimes easy too. You can't decide one day to climb Everest coz it's tough and you want to prove.. even in games we start from level one... and midway we may feel uninterested for long... it's supposed to be left and try and try something new. Pivot can happen. in the end we happy to feel happy, else the attempt of efforts in anything is a waste (vain).

[@josephcoronacomedy]

Longest version of someone just saying “just do it”

[@seyproductions]

People discover what they are made of when faced with difficulties. As someone who has a Bachelor's Degree in Being Lazy (Hons), I can tell you it's mostly carbon and water.

[@ivvas8339]

For the difficult! 💪

[@raphilos]

*Libera Me From Hell intensifies But yeah, I totally feel that after I finish a challenging running workout. I don't even think about the results, just feel like I can tackle anything life throws at me.

[@boudabras6579]

Honestly i did this pushed to do more changed my career to something much more difficult. I failed completely and have been booted. Now I am 34 and have no idea who i am or even what i want and am miserable everyday.

[@theeggdover1243]

To figure out what you are capable of, try to do things you don't think you're capable of

[@sunshineslowking5025]

The Buddha never had my uni roommates

[@alimay967]

😂😂😂

[@ashrunzeda4099]

Souls games taught me this. Idk how far I'd go or if I rage quit out of the game. Only to find myself platinuming every single game in the end.

[@SnailHatan]

Everything is difficult. Still feel like shit about myself

[@josephmbimbi]

Next step: how to (re)gain confidence after a long streak of failures, even on easy things ?

[@Madchris8828]

So Buddha and Mr. Goggins I think would have been very good friends

[@ivvas8339]

Also Kyriakos

[@markobaraba3876]

just my thoughts

[@NatsumiYuko-km3vo]

I am actually studying buddhism do to you I thank you

[@TheArcher101]

I normally feel better after completing a difficult task, because it's like I did it and I know it was hard and so I must be good because I pulled it off Similar thing here then maybe

[@kidwasabi9633]

like the fleas born in a jar or the fish that gets judged for not being able to climb a tree

[@MyValki]

Sooo true, except what is confidence even for?

[@SabrinaRizandya-ek6vs]

But not all people who tries difficult things will succed, speaking from my own experience, It lower my confidence even more

[@haro_yemon]

I dont know doc, did plenty of things like that throughout life, i enjoyed challenging myaelf and learning nee things, but it never helped woth my confidence issues.

[@workinprogress1239]

Where can i read these buddha teachings as a daily bible

[@SLAYERSARCH]

i have to agree but anxiety is not the problem.. finding your group when you lost them years ago..

[@mohamadeb2272]

Where can I find whole of the video?

[@martial885]

Everything on the internet now motivates me to just give up

[@S4s4LU123]

I dont see much things as difficult anymore One day everything became easy and the difficult is not there only the annoyance of what it made it seem difficult but was in theory simplicity in disguise

[@ThirzaTumTum]

what if we understand and believe we are useless and an actual burden?

[@Dem0n_i]

One more year to go

[@leonfrankham5825]

you’re awesome

[@lordpain1128]

Did anyone else focus on the dot blinking in the L during the quote?

[@squigglymilton1312]

This man has played Dark Souls

[@ForbiddenMacaronni-frwr6qr]

Golden

[@arnavrawat9864]

That Buddha quote is terrifying jesus

[@jackbotman]

The way he says buddha :)

[@iyraspusjfzifzocyoyxyoxyoxoy]

beat malenia

[@blipojones2114]

ALL HAIL THE BOOTAA

[@jiitkha]

Ouch.

[@christinaolmos1293]

Jesus christ taught us!

[@RENWTERVD]

bro, i live in Brazil where the fuck is my confidence?

[@abelbarron4587]

How do I tattoo this video on my body

[@meganquinn5747]

I don't need any more cortisol, thank you.

[@sp123]

this doesn't take into account the time and energy this will take away from productive pursuits in life. In a vacuum stress is fine, but in real life stress prevents people from functioning.

[@eebbaa5560]

ngmi

[@littledreamling4829]

I wonder what sutta this is? I will search the name in hope to find it.

[@batma1792]

I saw through a difficult task. I became burnt out and unemployed 2.5 years and counting. c-ya:-j

[@wanderingrandomer]

Ok, I get it, but how and why would I willingly make my life difficult?

[@elodeagg457]

Very interesting 🤔