How To Become A Positive Thinker With Rajiv Surendra

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Rajiv Surendra

Rajiv Surendra

7 ай бұрын

On the surface, Rajiv's life is filled with a large array of hobbies and creative pursuits that he's cultivated over the years but the skill he is the most proud of is his ability to maintain a healthy and strong mind. The art of positive thinking is a large component of mental work, and today Rajiv shares his personal views and approach to this vital life skill.
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★ TABLE OF CONTENTS ★
• 1:150 Draw light examples
• 3:12 Do not ignore the negativity, lean into it to find the why
• 3:56 Rajiv’s background and being gay in the 1990’s
• 5:30 Do not on rely on others to make you happy
• 6:02 Understand the idea that what you think affects how you feel
• 7:58 Exercise daily to help your positive thoughts
• 9:00 Envision that you will get better to find the path to that moment
• 9:00 Keep the leash at the right slack to maintain control
• 10:30 Material things as a tool to contentment is a western idea
• 11:40 You are in control of changing your life and being content
• 13:20 Consistently negative friends are not conducive to a content life
• 15:00 Sit alone with your own thoughts in order to learn how to think positively
• 16:50 Create the small grooves in your mind takes bravery
• 18:30 Develop the qualities in yourself that you like in your best friends
• 20:00 Only you can do the work, there are no shortcuts
• 21:02 Practice makes perfect because your negative behavior affects others
• 22:00 You can find the light by understanding the dark
💡 TOPICS IN THIS VIDEO 💡
• Staying Positive
• Practice calmness
• Light captured in paintings
• Light looks beautiful when there's darkness beside it
• Conscious choice to change things
• Rajiv's childhood and dealing with repercussions
• Figuring out what makes you content
• Consistency is the most important factor
• Exercise is great medicine to thinking positive
• I will get better, and I can get better is a mantra to think about
• Contentment can come from your head not from materials acquisition
• Strength and practice to realize one is in control of changing their life
• Surround yourself with people who are not perennially negative
• Sit alone completely with your thoughts to achieve positivity
• Daily practice to change negative behavior and thinking
• Negativity affects people around
• It is not an overnight process, but it is something you can achieve
If you enjoy Rajiv's videos and would like to see more, please contribute to the
gofundme campaign that is raising the funds to produce the content on this channel: gofund.me/fbcb3a22
✅ Instagram: / rajivsurendra
✅ TikTok: / rajivsurendra_
✅ Twitter: / rajivsurendra
🔴 ** ABOUT THIS CHANNEL **
Welcome to my KZbin Channel! I've been immersed in the creative and domestic arts for all my life and its a real honor to be sharing my interests with you.
Click here to subscribe: / rajivsurendra
🔎 HASHTAGS
#positivevibes
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#positivemindset
#positivethinking

Пікірлер: 912
@EnfinLibreNM
@EnfinLibreNM 7 ай бұрын
About 4 years ago I left my toxic family so now am completely on my own. I moved to a small town to get away and sat in my house and pouted. One day I realized I was sick of myself, so I decided to not allow my family to "win". I used my savings to open an antique store (something I always wanted to do.) Then, I did something that I NEVER thought I'd do. I joined our volunteer fire department, went through training, am a firefighter 1, became an EMT, then just became certified to fight wildfires (which are prevalent in my area.) In order to pass the Wildland Fire test, I had to hike 3 miles in full gear carrying a 45 lb pack in 46 minutes. Funny thing is that the young men who tried it laughed and socialized, and I just plowed forward. I was the ONLY one out of 18 people who made it. All this to also recommend starting to do something that you never thought you could or would do. Just have the guts to try it. Oh...and by the way...I'm a 67 year old female who beat out 17 guys in their 20's. Thank you Rajiv for your amazing videos and advice. You're my hero.
@JY-zq5jk
@JY-zq5jk 7 ай бұрын
WoW! You are an inspiration. Congrats !
@debuhrle7062
@debuhrle7062 7 ай бұрын
Yay, you!! At 57, I've been wondering 'what's left?' Your comment says to me, 'Everything I embrace!'
@EnfinLibreNM
@EnfinLibreNM 7 ай бұрын
@@debuhrle7062 57? Heck you're a young pup. 😁 There's either nothing left, or a whole, bright, wonderful world left. It all depends on your attitude. The fun thing about getting older is that I've shed all those pre-conceived notions of what I should do, how I should act and how I should think. Instead I just basically have learned to do what I think is right. And here's the cool thing...today I helped save the life of a 4 yo little boy. He's going to live because of my actions and those of my partner. Last week I helped save the life of a semi driver who was going way too fast. Yesterday I sold a set of antique Blue Willowware dishes to a lady whose grandmother had them and they reminded her of her grams. This is not to brag, but if I gave up or was still sitting around feeling sorry for myself, I never could have experienced any of that. And people can have these amazing experiences at any age. Rajiv packed up and spent part of the summer in Florence, Italy. He DARED to do it. We all need to dare...and yes, we all need to embrace. Embrace, Deb. Go forth and embrace.
@krachr1
@krachr1 7 ай бұрын
WOW that is so inspiring! Thank You! I would love to read a book about it. Not that you have time to write one 😂😂. Many Blessings for your new freedom.
@krachr1
@krachr1 7 ай бұрын
@@debuhrle7062same
@dori9024
@dori9024 7 ай бұрын
I am a 72 year old woman who should be giving you advice, but it’s refreshing to hear these wise words from a young man as yourself. As much as we want to be perfect we are only humans and sometimes those negative feelings can creep up on us. But, just as you said our job is feel these feelings and let go because they do not serve us. “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” -Shakespeare
@anneliesslabbersniemeijer4555
@anneliesslabbersniemeijer4555 7 ай бұрын
two women at 72 almost 73 with the same idea. i agree what you are saying about Rajiv. he is a lovely person who brings light. ❤and I enjoy the story’s and recognize a lot but Rajiv puts them on the right spot.
@monikamarsollek3493
@monikamarsollek3493 7 ай бұрын
So well said❣
@imaseamistress
@imaseamistress 7 ай бұрын
Thank you. ❤
@anniejoseph8651
@anniejoseph8651 4 ай бұрын
Thanks,Rajiv!You are amazingly honest and you speak from your heart.God bless you💐
@izzychancapiedra2473
@izzychancapiedra2473 7 ай бұрын
And who else wants to hang out with Rajiv and learn just one of his crafts?
@HeatherShreve
@HeatherShreve 29 күн бұрын
He's clearly a wonderful person...and as I always say--hitting bottom can be your ticket to the top! I've been in his shoes...but now-- the pendulum has swung the other way! The universe seeks equilibrium...use it!
@lllovesalll
@lllovesalll 7 ай бұрын
I had a breakthrough with my niece today. At 12 she's already gone through tough experiences, including watching her dad's health deteriorate. She says mean things to her little brother all day -- the receptacle for her anger. I see that angry energy showing up as terrible acne on her face. We started a week long experiment with Metta meditation, just repeating, "May I be happy, peaceful and free from suffering", and then repeating it for each of her family members. It wasn't easy to get her there! There are 11 benefits of Metta including "your face will be radiant", and "your mind will be serene". That was last night. This morning when I saw her I immediately (and not thinking of the experiment) complimented how nice she looked. Then her grandfather, who doesn't compliment often, told her she looks beautiful today. All before breakfast. I'll be supporting her Metta meditation practice as often as I can.❤
@rajivsurendra
@rajivsurendra 7 ай бұрын
That's wonderful. She's lucky to have you as an aunt.
@chenyeh9053
@chenyeh9053 7 ай бұрын
And we are lucky to have you Rajiv ❤
@Englishroserebecca
@Englishroserebecca 7 ай бұрын
I hope her little brother is coping with the mean things she says to him all day. He must be suffering too. Hope all ends well for everyone. ❤
@lllovesalll
@lllovesalll 7 ай бұрын
@@rajivsurendra @Englishroserebecca My 9 year old nephew LOVES your videos, Rajiv! You're a fantastic role model for young kids (and older kids like me)! And yes he's very balanced and doesn't let his sister's words affect him too much. He's well beyond his years in maturity 😇
@lee.m.506
@lee.m.506 7 ай бұрын
The complaining - something inside feels so entitled, so driven to complain. I guess it's time for me to get acquainted with myself and my thoughts. You've provided a roadmap for me - and I WILL use it - thank you so much for this wonderful video!
@biddydibdab9180
@biddydibdab9180 7 ай бұрын
I have cancer and for the past (almost) three years since diagnosis, I’ve actively pursued happiness instead of treatment. Exercise and being thankful for the ability to do it has sustained me but with the winter well upon us, I’m losing that happiness. Thanks for this video Rajiv. You reminded me to pull myself up and go on living even when I have pain. ❤😊❤
@Blueskies1180
@Blueskies1180 7 ай бұрын
I pray for your full healing. Keep the faith and keep shining light on your beautiful soul. May you be blessed beyond your wildest dreams…. This “cancer” too shall pass.
@ilax4244
@ilax4244 7 ай бұрын
Rajiv is very inspiring and so is your comment. It will help many to be grateful. May you keep your focus on getting better. You sound very positive don't lose hope...you will learn what works for you. All God's Blessings to you and your family from California 🙋
@Robin-MP
@Robin-MP 7 ай бұрын
Never give up happiness, it is the very essense of "YOU" Never give up on yourself, be your best cheerleader, love all that happens around you, your positivity will help heal you. I pray you find healing not only in your physical body but in your heart and mind as much. BE WELL! YOU CAN DO IT!!!❤ Jesus, loving God, please heal the body of this poor soul that has given up on life, for in letting go in despair, the truth is not learned. Blessed be GOD AMEN
@tennysoneffie6943
@tennysoneffie6943 7 ай бұрын
I pray that you will get well and see your self and surroundings in a different light. When you get your “Cancer free” diagnosis everything will be in Technicolor. Stay positive. Love from Ireland.
@Susan-dk3ik
@Susan-dk3ik 7 ай бұрын
Winter used to really get me down. I bought a LED grow light and grow beautiful plants now year around. Creating life, surrounding myself with colour and nurturing something gives me great happiness in my living. I wish for you to find something that bring you such joy and add love and light in your living too. Best wishes for you in your journey- look good and feel good. Add a colourful scarf a good memory and step from your front door with attitude and optimism. Shine on.
@AnnapolisGirly
@AnnapolisGirly 7 ай бұрын
This could not have come at a better time Rajiv. I lost my oldest son 6 months ago and I have sunk into a deep depression. I’m a naturally positive person and I’m working on this. My other sons and husband deserve to have me back. Thank you.
@patriciaholloway
@patriciaholloway 7 ай бұрын
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Grief is so complicated. Please remember that it's different for everyone. Six months is a relatively short time. You may benefit from talking to an actual grief therapist, or perhaps join a local group if you have one...or an online group for parents who have lost children. My heart goes out to you. I hope you will be patient with yourself and take good loving care of yourself, because you deserve it. Praying for you and your family 🙏 Sending love and support 🤗
@critterscute3642
@critterscute3642 7 ай бұрын
I’m so sorry for your devastating loss 😞❤️
@AnnapolisGirly
@AnnapolisGirly 7 ай бұрын
@@patriciaholloway thank you! I have a wonderful grief group and it’s specific to parents who have lost children of all ages. I appreciate your generosity and time in your response. We have amazingly supportive friends which helps so much.
@AnnapolisGirly
@AnnapolisGirly 7 ай бұрын
@@critterscute3642 thank you for taking the time to say that. It is very appreciated. ❤️
@rachaelmccarl
@rachaelmccarl 6 ай бұрын
God be with you. Praying for you in this moment.
@neeharikaraghunath9644
@neeharikaraghunath9644 7 ай бұрын
As a Tamil girl, this channel is my therapy. EDIT: Thanks so much for the like Anna! Growing up in this, oftentimes conservative, community I find joy seeing other queer Tamil creatives finding success in their creative pursuits. It gives me so much hope for my own future. This video on this very topic could not have come at a better time for me.
@Miliregretz
@Miliregretz 7 ай бұрын
Thank you for this beautiful video. I have recently starting watching a video of yours every saturday morning. After a week of work, I usually feel very mentally exhausted and as a result depressed. When i watch you do small things with so much care and joy it is easy to refocus my attention to the light and beauty i am surrounded by. Then suddenly i have all the energy in the world to do my own little things with care and joy :)
@rajivsurendra
@rajivsurendra 7 ай бұрын
Thank you for telling me. It's very encouraging, makes me motivated to keep creating these videos!
@nomado3650
@nomado3650 7 ай бұрын
I’m with you. Same feelings and same emotions. I cherish Rajiv’s videos for exactly same reasons.
@mmp495
@mmp495 5 ай бұрын
I love this idea. I get engrossed with his energy, care and interest in everything he does.
@bellebeauty67
@bellebeauty67 7 ай бұрын
“I don’t want to swim in the east river”🤪 Thank you for composing a thoughtful, soothing, loving mental sonnett Rajiv. Recently while on early morning walks with my dog, I noticed the light on the buildings in Soho, NYC. I began taking pictures. Your description of the, shadows blew ‘ma mind! Will never look at light in the same way! You remind me of my brother Anthony who was a multi-talented gay man. Everything my brother touched, be it a paint brush, sewing needle, instrument, was turned into GOLD. In the ‘70’s he showed the public HighSchool the strength of his positive mindset. He become the first male drum major, and went on to become a national champion. He as well was a gay man, ridiculed and shamed. He passed in ‘87, in the first wave of those inflicted with HIV-AIDS. His spirit comes to life while watching you work your joy in everything you touch🎉 Shine on creative one, shine one!!! Whoohoooo!!!!❤😊
@fifteenthfret
@fifteenthfret 7 ай бұрын
You may very well be a ‘small’ person, but you are a giant from within, Rajiv…
@liltrinax
@liltrinax 7 ай бұрын
Today was a rough day. I had a bad interview and felt so awful afterwards. I cried because I felt worthless and etc. This is exactly what I needed. Rajiv, you are my savior today. ❤
@janetwise3248
@janetwise3248 7 ай бұрын
A lot of your content is about the benefits of disiplin and practice. Well being accumulates when we make our beds, care for our tools, practice art and music, write letters. And notice our thoughts. Thanks for another gem, Rajiv. This is the perfect message for this season of gratitude.
@jenniferj4143
@jenniferj4143 7 ай бұрын
Hi Rajiv, Since I've been watching you my closet is neat and folded, my spice rack does not fall out on me when I look for a particular spice and now my thoughts are positive. I love your message!
@lizzies9307
@lizzies9307 7 ай бұрын
As someone with chronic clinical depression, I was so worries this would be a toxic positivity talk, and I'm so glad to see how you handled it. We can't run from our own darkness, but we also don't have to stand around while others suck us into it once we are out. The things I've learned in treatment are very similar to what you've outlined. Practice gratitude, use your body, engage in joyful activities, and curate your social circle carefully. Lastly, if you find nothing is working to pull you out of the dark, please, seek professional assistance. There is no shame in getting help when we need it, and there is nothing wrong with medication if you need it ♥️
@bridgetsmith9352
@bridgetsmith9352 7 ай бұрын
You wouldn't believe how much I needed to hear this today. I lost both my parents this year, and I spiraled out of control. My mind is consumed with fear and anxiety. I do everything I can to fill the void...to block out my grief, but none of those things work. Thank you for this lesson. I needed to hear it.
@allyson--
@allyson-- 7 ай бұрын
@wallihaley5194
@wallihaley5194 7 ай бұрын
I pray for your peace. I know you will find it again.
@bridiebennett4863
@bridiebennett4863 7 ай бұрын
Sorry for your loss, it’s important to grieve, don’t block it, there will be bad moments but also good ones with happy memories, be kind to yourself, keep doing the simple things you enjoy, there’s always light at end of tunnel
@Ghost-lt4sf
@Ghost-lt4sf 7 ай бұрын
I truly hope that you are on your way to find peace in your grieving process. Sending you love
@KateEASN
@KateEASN 7 ай бұрын
When you are suddenly "orphaned" it IS scary! I am sorry, and wish you peace.
@adriana1sunshine
@adriana1sunshine 7 ай бұрын
👏👏👏 thank you Rajiv you are such a treasure to humanity ❤️
@amoto1501
@amoto1501 7 ай бұрын
Rajiv, I am grateful you created this channel and have a platform to propagate health, well being, and love. You are radically wonderful!
@joninature
@joninature 7 ай бұрын
Rajiv, you are a gift 🎁 ❤️
@kdarensb
@kdarensb 7 ай бұрын
After watching this video, I got out my paintbrushes for first time in several months. No easy feat…I stopped procrastinating and looking outside myself (for two + hours) and felt so much better. I am also 72 like one of the other viewers. No excuse, I needed this❤️thank you! PS: you are a beautiful human inside and out.
@hippityhop99
@hippityhop99 7 ай бұрын
'i am my best friend' - that's a truly unique way of thinking! this is SO thoughtful. the discomfort of being alone with our thoughts - is so accurate.
@shannijones4587
@shannijones4587 7 ай бұрын
I love what you said about contentment. People have a tendency to want to always be happy. Its unattainable. Finding contentment is so fulfilling and lasting. Feeling thankful for every experience, even the bad ones, leads to a more contented life. Thanks for your beautiful videos. They are gentle and visually stunning. ❤
@rodneysam3574
@rodneysam3574 7 ай бұрын
Rajiv, I stumbled on your channel by chance about a month ago. It was timely because I was in a dark place in my life and didn't know what to do to climb out of it. What I love about your channel is your ability to make the mundane magical and the simple act of cleaning your kitchen is therapeutic instead of an unpleasant task that has to be done. You've helped me see the importance of CARING about myself and my living space and surrounding it with things I love. I've created space and time for doing what I enjoy. I started writing in a journal and began playing the piano again after YEARS of being away from creating music. I'm starting to see how much the happiness I sought in the past to now is based on conditions instead of working on contentment which is much profound to me. Anyway, I want to thank you for creating this channel and sharing a bit of who you are to the world along with helping others make their lives better.
@PetiteFleurBleue2009
@PetiteFleurBleue2009 7 ай бұрын
Such a beautiful way to say the same things we heard before but keep struggling with. Thank you, Rajiv. ❤
@aprilmelo
@aprilmelo 7 ай бұрын
Thank you Rajiv for your honesty, vulnerability, and thoughtfulness. I agree with you 90%, my one comment would be that some people cannot do this alone. Some people need professional help to even start thinking about ways to sit with their own thoughts and feelings. I would add that people shouldn’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help.
@rajivsurendra
@rajivsurendra 7 ай бұрын
Yes, I agree completely and I regret that I didn't think to mention that in this video. Thank you.
@himechan1211
@himechan1211 7 ай бұрын
Im crying because ive been struggling so much this year mentally. I really needed this...thank you
@ginnyfisher9064
@ginnyfisher9064 7 ай бұрын
You were my best hannukah gift today. Sometimes I go to the library and a book title appears that I really need to read. You were my life lesson today. You are light and kindness and I hope you know that you make a difference in our lives. Keep shining your light our way because the world is in dire need of you.
@ocarina6908
@ocarina6908 6 ай бұрын
I remember being 20 years old, sitting on a bus, looking out a rainy window and listening to Eliot Smith when all then sudden I realized I was doing this to myself. Yes, life had pain, but I was choosing to focus on and wallow in it. I decided to listen to music that made me happy. To try to notice the beauty and joy in small moments. It's a neverending journey and process to choose a life of happiness, but it's so worth the effort.
@lissarice1876
@lissarice1876 6 ай бұрын
The fact that you were able to find yourself at such a young age and through the beauty that is around us all, but often ignored, says so much about the joy & strength that you brought into this world with you. You should be so proud. One in a million!
@redartemis3955
@redartemis3955 7 ай бұрын
Rajiv, everything you do is beautiful. Your creations both mental and physical are magical. Thank you for sharing your wonderful mind!❤️🙏🏻
@homebodyheaven6114
@homebodyheaven6114 7 ай бұрын
I am a conservative 75 yr old woman. Believe it or not conservatives are accepting of other people’s differences and we love other loving people. Rajiv you are so beautiful. Thank you for teaching the simple joys of life. I too had childhood trauma and it took years for me to learn that God loves me. Other people’s opinions don’t matter when you really get that. Be blessed!
@geriattrique7141
@geriattrique7141 7 ай бұрын
Just when I thought your channel couldn’t get any better, you lay this one on us! Like a helping hand! ❤️ Much respect!
@indigolambart
@indigolambart 7 ай бұрын
I had a very difficult childhood, but I am grateful for the fact I came an early realization to savor the good things, however small and accept the challenges as a part of life. I live a comfortable modest life. I raised my youngest sister. I am now raising one of my nephews. The best gift I can give them is to be my best self which still includes many imperfections, and to encourage them to be their best selves, and acknowlege but not dwell on their imprefections. To be grateful for the many wonders small and large in our life. This is what my tribe calls following the red road, living the good life. Life is a practice. It is made up of all the things we practice. From how we treat our spaces, how we treat others, how we treat ourselves. It is not a one and done but a constant practice.
@caroleem1319
@caroleem1319 7 ай бұрын
What about his Mom? Does he talk about her too?
@Lifes_Frosting
@Lifes_Frosting 7 ай бұрын
Rajiv, you are a beautiful soul and a gift to us all. It's such a pleasure to watch you and spend time in your energy. I could watch you boil water :) Thank you for sharing your essence and your talents with us. 💚🙏🙌
@brokenmolar
@brokenmolar 7 ай бұрын
I think what’s great about this video is that when you click on the play button, you’re opting into hearing advice. It can be hard to hear when someone in your life says “you should” but here, each person is in control of how much they’re willing to receive. Also, at least with me, I have to get to the point where I’m “sick of my shit” to begin changing or trying something new. Also, as an aside, Einstein’s hobby from when he was a kid was just sitting and thinking. It can definitely be productive and profound!
@ellenyoung9223
@ellenyoung9223 7 ай бұрын
This is such a beautiful channel. I find your videos very motivating. I have worked on a lot of the things you touched on and it’s helped me enormously over the past maybe ten years, but this video was a great refresher for me of the fundamentals of what it takes not to be dissatisfied all the time, what it takes to experience many moments of joy, and what it takes to live among other people in a positive way. Thank you.
@rajivsurendra
@rajivsurendra 7 ай бұрын
You CAN do it!!! Good luck!
@Ghost-lt4sf
@Ghost-lt4sf 7 ай бұрын
Just the intro alone using light and dark concepts from art theory had me burst into tears. I’m an artist in a soft hiatus carrying the weight of my self-inficted guilt over not producing enough art lately. And these past couple of days I’ve been having relationship miscommunication troubles. So I’ve fallen into old pre-therapy habits of self-blame spirals. This video came at the exact right time for me. It’s helping me remind myself that I am worthy, lucky to be alive, and I’m allowing myself some space and patience. Thank you so much, Rajiv. I feel rather frustrated that my words don’t feel like they properly express the immense gratitude I feel over having found your channel. Thank you for all your wonderful reflections and lessons. ❤❤❤
@grizeldaxxx4568
@grizeldaxxx4568 7 ай бұрын
I actually feel You words are very powerful , thanks for sharing
@careybones9787
@careybones9787 7 ай бұрын
Thank you, I forget how my negativity affects those around me. This teaching and reminder is just what I needed to hear today.💖
@ElBeeEss
@ElBeeEss 7 ай бұрын
Aaaaah, 22 minutes of golden surrender with Surendra. Your videos are a joy, no matter what you're talking about, Rajiv! xxx
@rpierce7004
@rpierce7004 5 сағат бұрын
I was telling someone about you, Rajiv, and was wondering why I hadn't seen any new videos of yours recently. I just came to your channel and saw that I had been unsubscribed! Oh no, I re-subscribed. No wonder I have yet to see any content recently except your HGTV Handmade specials. I must catch up now, but I am glad to do so. This one must have been the one I needed to land on today for several reasons. I just cleaned and oiled my hand clippers this weekend before putting them back, and I remember the first time I learned that this is what you need to do to your tools to keep them in good condition, and it made me feel good doing so. Small things. Also, I like your dark-and-shadow analogy with life and how I think about a friend who is always so negative. I recently have been pushing back on that constant negative pattern by not contacting them as often as before, and I may need to walk away from that relationship. Anyhow, it is the right message at the right time. Thanks 😊
@home96734
@home96734 7 ай бұрын
Aloha from Hawaii Raj….what a beautiful and wise spirit you are. I was pondering a situation and how to handle it, and there you were on KZbin talking about your journey and how you came to understand your environment and live within it as a positive light…with our humanity and all that it can be. You gave me a gift Raj and I will always be grateful. High tech can be overwhelming, but when you can spread your light around the globe, it is truly a miracle and can bring so much joy. Mahalo❤❤❤
@patriciaholloway
@patriciaholloway 7 ай бұрын
It all begins with gratitude. Thank you, Rajiv for this important topic. I know that we all feel blessed by you and i sincerely hope that you get something from our comments and that we are able to lift you up and inspire you in some way, as you do for us. 🙏👏 Your best talk yet I think. Bless you friend 💙
@issyness8658
@issyness8658 7 ай бұрын
Water opens the “blue mind”. We all love that. Thank you Rajiv. You’re the best!
@Mimulus2717
@Mimulus2717 7 ай бұрын
Dear Rajiv, I hope the wind you feel while riding your bike is through hair covered with a good helmet. I have permanent damage from a traumatic brain injury and I use a gratitude practice to manage my pain. I can still walk, talk, make things, my goodness what riches I have! You are a national treasure and should be protected.
@bridiebennett4863
@bridiebennett4863 7 ай бұрын
Not many people stop & think, it’s great to be able to see & hear & have good physical health!! When you are grateful for health alone you are on the right track, everything else will follow. Thanks Rajiv ❤
@patriciaholloway
@patriciaholloway 7 ай бұрын
As a disabled person, I try to never take the good days for granted. I'm always stunned at how people seem to take all their blessings for granted. I have gratitude for health, but also simple things such as a cool breeze or clean sheets. I want to fully experience each day, not just rush through to the next!
@tiarayong5377
@tiarayong5377 7 ай бұрын
Beautifully said Rajiv, I've been on both sides of "the plague". Having the chance to realize and change our behavior and what we are sharing with one another is a gift of love and patience. Sometimes we need a bit of help to see the light within the dark. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
@l.williams6249
@l.williams6249 7 ай бұрын
Rajiv, you are a beautiful person. With all the talents you can display on this channel, to take your time to share these thoughts is really really special❤
@rajivsurendra
@rajivsurendra 7 ай бұрын
Thanks for watching.
@slucas6303
@slucas6303 7 ай бұрын
Thank you so much, Rajiv, for uploading this timely video. I went to bed with some very negative thoughts last night. I felt I was drowning. I think Buddha or God must have seen my struggle and sent your very helpful video to me. I can’t say enough thanks to you!
@rajivsurendra
@rajivsurendra 7 ай бұрын
You're very welcome. You can do it, I'm hoping this video sends positive vibrations out to everyone who needs the strength to do the internal work.
@slucas6303
@slucas6303 7 ай бұрын
@@rajivsurendra ❤️❤️❤️
@lindaconnelly7836
@lindaconnelly7836 7 ай бұрын
So much talent. So many creative skills. So much wisdom, humor and joy wrapped up in one sweet and inspirational man! Thank you, Rajiv
@steepsister5002
@steepsister5002 7 ай бұрын
This really spoke to me, as I’m currently in a negative thought spiral and relying on others to pull me out. I want to rewatch this every morning until it starts to sink in that I can create my own contentment. Much love to all! 💌
@biggothepiggo
@biggothepiggo 7 ай бұрын
"It's not easy, but you can do it," is a really inspiring sentence. Your channel is so full of beauty. I absolutely love your architecture painting.
@lesliemacdonald7976
@lesliemacdonald7976 7 ай бұрын
Such a powerful message Rajiv. The crazy thing is that you would not be the person you are today were it not for all your experiences. And it's you and all those experiences that make this channel the inspiring place that it is. Looking at these comments, it's apparent that you are an inspiration to so many, Rajiv. Thank you and keep going!
@NataLia-wd4ut
@NataLia-wd4ut 7 ай бұрын
This is my first comment ever but I have to just say that your videos are the most wonderful things on the internet and I'm very thankful for the hard work and effort you put into the channel. Lots of love from Poland.
@rajivsurendra
@rajivsurendra 7 ай бұрын
Dziękuję Natalia.
@susanrombak7959
@susanrombak7959 7 ай бұрын
What a profound lesson, it is a blessed day! Rajiv you are the quintessential teacher to deliver this message. Thank you for this. ✌🏽🙏🏽☀️
@lauriewarner4848
@lauriewarner4848 7 ай бұрын
Every single time I watch you I am astonished at the simple joy you teach. Your eyes show such wisdoms. It is so easy to fill our lives with such simple true beauty if we are just open to learn, willing to hear, and strong and wise enough to take action. I am thankful I found you.
@angiewalton1
@angiewalton1 17 күн бұрын
Rajiv your talents knows no bounds! Pottery, Painter, Designer, Musician and Therapist! 😘 It’s NOT easy! Sooooo Worth it!🙌🏼
@severinetompsett9602
@severinetompsett9602 7 ай бұрын
Those orchids… they found their little heaven in Rajiv’s home. No flower would grow so beautifully if not in a happy home.
@rajivsurendra
@rajivsurendra 7 ай бұрын
There's a video coming soon about that arrangement!
@beckylsparks
@beckylsparks 7 ай бұрын
Wow, Rajiv. I am so sorry about the things that have hurt you in your life but you are the most inspirational, wise person I have come across in a long time. I know those dark things helped make you who you are and I am thankful for YOU. I respect you very much.🌹🌹🌹
@ruthc8259
@ruthc8259 7 ай бұрын
Thank you Rajiv.❤ I appreciate you sharing not only your process, but your vulnerabilities with such grace. Beautiful message from a beautiful soul. This is true perfection.🌹
@rosella1919
@rosella1919 2 ай бұрын
One of the best things about Rajiv is the community of people he brings together. The comments are so positive in this often negative time. ❤
@deanapaulson5140
@deanapaulson5140 7 ай бұрын
This was a FANTASTIC video Rajiv. Thank you for your courage, integrity, and generosity of spirit.
@therheaking
@therheaking 7 ай бұрын
This message means so much to me. I lost two close friends in a car accident this year and finding positivity has been so challenging. So I've been putting more effort into the relationships with my loved ones who are still here on earth with me...I can actively see our bonds strengthening now. Thank you for the gentle reminder that where there is darkness there is light, Rajiv.
@janwright3003
@janwright3003 7 ай бұрын
Thank you, Rajiv This video is absolutely wonderful! I just watched it from my TV. Now I'm watching again from my phone. I will refer to it whenever I feel negative thoughts creeping in. Yes.. small increments are key steps to turning that around. I am my happiest when things are calm, quiet, peaceful .. no drama. I've learned so much from your soothing words in the video .. they're simply amazing. Thank you!
@matocv
@matocv 7 ай бұрын
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ♥ I was in a dark place in 2021 and surely no fun. I complained A LOT. There were supportive people around but those who really jolted me to get out of that sad, lonely state were the ones who told me to "Grow the F up!". Now, I have a daily routine that keeps me afloat (and happy) -- meditation, morning sun exposure while watering plants and feeding fish in my ponds, exercising, journaling, being grateful, and improving in whatever way I can. I have shared this to those who would definitely benefit.
@dameanvil
@dameanvil 6 ай бұрын
00:59 🌅 Positive thinking isn't about ignoring darkness but understanding light alongside shadows. It's an exercise, like starting at the gym with light weights. 04:26 🌟 Small actions accumulate: finding solace in small things helped combat tough situations. 06:55 ✂ Your thoughts are tools; they impact feelings and actions. Negative thoughts shape negative patterns. 09:22 🏋 Regular exercise, even 20 minutes a day, significantly contributes to mental health and positive thinking. 10:27 💭 Seek contentment, not just fleeting happiness, detached from material possessions or external validation. 12:54 🙏 Cultivate gratitude regularly for simple things; complaining rarely improves your mindset. 16:31 🧠 Practice being alone with your thoughts; it's essential to develop a positive mindset. 17:41 🔄 Positive thinking reshapes mental grooves; it takes courage to acknowledge negative patterns. 18:50 🤝 Embrace self-improvement: be your best friend and harshest critic, fostering traits you admire in others. 20:40 🔄 Consistency is key: daily practice, not occasional efforts, leads to meaningful change. 21:10 🌟 Positive behavior benefits everyone; negativity spreads, but positivity uplifts those around you.
@yamaksy
@yamaksy 7 ай бұрын
Rajiv, you are the most amazing online personality I know of. Your are so handsome, with beautiful soothing voice, animated gaze and armed with a huge arsenal of talents, skills and severe patience. You shower us with joy, elegance, knowledge and serenity. I'd be proud to have a son like you! In fact, I've been waiting for so long for a video as this one. I always wanted to ask you: how did your mother strategize your upbringing in such a successful way? Hope it's not too personal and arrogant of me, but I will much appreciate any tips I could take and hopefully implement. Thanks in advance!
@rajivsurendra
@rajivsurendra 7 ай бұрын
My mom would chastise my sisters and me if we started to complain about something. She would snap at us and tell us to "stop it, look at what you have and be grateful." She came from a country that was plagued with civil war and was glad to live in Canada where, as a woman, she could work for her own living and create the life that she wanted to live. She was a perfectionist with almost everything she did and she pushed us to always do better. Even though she was in an abusive relationship with my Dad for decades, she didn't complain, she just put her nose to the grindstone and worked like a dog to make ends meet. I'm so grateful I had such a wonderful mother. We lost her a few years ago and although it's very hard to deal with her being gone, I feel so lucky that I had her raise me and instill so much discipline in my mind.
@yamaksy
@yamaksy 7 ай бұрын
@@rajivsurendra Thank you for the quick response!
@MAhmed-zs2vp
@MAhmed-zs2vp 7 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing that Rajiv, that was very special.
@PLuMUK54
@PLuMUK54 7 ай бұрын
Apologies in advance for this essay, but it's a topic that's important important to me. I so agree with Rajiv. I have always considered that contentment is far more important than happiness. I have been truly happy, but quite rarely. I am, however, very content much of the time. I know that many people find me odd (I am on the autistic spectrum and an introvert), but I genuinely like being alone. I do not need people to make my life fulfilling, which is good because I have no family, and few friends because of my autism. Thankfully, I am my own best friend. Equally important, I love to sit and think. I have a small house, my gardens, my cat, my dog, and enough money coming in with my pension to pay my bills and to pay for treats. I do not need more because I am content with what I have. I do not need a fancy car, holidays, or a house with the "right" address in order to be fulfilled. The contentment in my life comes from many simple things. My favourite chair faces west, and one of my greatest pleasures is to sit and watch the sun go down. As I type this comment, I am getting pleasure from the way that the sun is shining through the foliage of a bamboo growing outside my window. My health is not all it should be, but I rejoice on a day when my breath does not fight with me, or the pain in my legs lessens and I can walk upstairs without dragging myself there. I've had negative thoughts. I've had a nervous breakdown. Years ago, work got too much, and I cracked. A few years ago I went into severe depression following the deaths of both parents within 12 weeks, and across the year, another 10 deaths of friends, neighbours, and colleagues. On neither occasion, did I allow myself to believe that I would not get better. I felt I was in hell, but I held on to the belief that I would get out. I'm not saying that everyone can do this. I know that I am fortunate that I can control my emotions better than average. However, a Rajiv says, you have to try. Now, if I can only persuade my next-door neighbour to be less negative, my life will be great. I avoid him as much as I can, but I can't always. When he talks to me, he does nothing but grumble. No matter what the conversation, he always gets in the comment about it won't be long before we are dead! He is 10 years older than me, and sometimes I think he will be disappointed if I do not die before him! Life is what you make of it. I'm not rich. I'm not healthy. What I am is content with what I have.
@zlatinkaquinones3733
@zlatinkaquinones3733 7 ай бұрын
Good for you you found a place where you wanna be we are all still looking for that place or we can all live with ourselves becauseBefore you live without this you need to learn to be self
@mmp495
@mmp495 5 ай бұрын
I loved reading this and seeing how you are so kind, content, grateful and accepting of yourself and the life you live. That is true happiness. ❤❤❤
@jeannewing5471
@jeannewing5471 7 ай бұрын
Rajiv, You are a breath of fresh air! I have followed you for quite a while now and never get tired of hearing from you! This message, though, is my absolute favorite! Even though I am a 64-year-old, white, straight woman, you could be my best friend! ❤
@Yentl-gx2cm
@Yentl-gx2cm 7 ай бұрын
What a beautiful video, it makes me a little emotional. Thank you! I have severe long covid for the last 3,5 years and a lot of the day I’m in bed. I had to make room for my grief that I lost my health but after a lot of work I have learned that grief and goodness can become friends! Now I see and appreciate so much goodness and beauty around me. Still sick but it makes my life a lot better.
@GoogleAccount-hz2co
@GoogleAccount-hz2co 7 ай бұрын
Rajiv that was so inspiring you made me think about my self, and how negativity affects not only yourself, but the people around you. Positive thinking it’s a good way to live your life. Leave a horrible past in the past and move forward to a healthier present. Listening to this video, you evoke for me that you are a beautiful person. You have such a calming voice. I enjoyed all your videos. Also, I admire all your talents. If I had you as a friend, I would feel honored.
@sharonmcgriff-payne7414
@sharonmcgriff-payne7414 7 ай бұрын
Excellent. It is so important to learn this at an early age. It can take many years to grasp the power of being kind to yourself, which is the basis of positive thinking. It has taken me many years to understand that positive thinking is really just being honestly kind to yourself first. Caring for yourself has a way of flowing outward. When you think you are truly worthy you can see the value - the positive light - inothers. Happy holidays.
@nancytimpa1981
@nancytimpa1981 7 ай бұрын
Love love love your honesty and wisdom and the thought provoking topic today. You’ve got a lot of folks examining themselves this morning.
@rs2447
@rs2447 7 ай бұрын
Rajiv, you're my role model. Thank you for taking the time to share this.
@BeautyIngenue
@BeautyIngenue 7 ай бұрын
You have no idea how much your videos LIGHT up my days Rajiv! Keep doing great work!
@Dr-Alexandria
@Dr-Alexandria 7 ай бұрын
Rajiv has this beautiful Mr. Rogers energy that brings me peace and brings me back again and again.
@sonjarethy8339
@sonjarethy8339 2 ай бұрын
You are an inspiring person. Art and discipline and self-awareness. Very cool. I read a comment by a woman who described herself as 72 and I am 71. Nothing changes as one gets older, except life becomes more intense, contrary to one’s expectations. In any case thank you. I’ve shared your channel with my 10 years, older sister, and she was blown away also with my 30 year old daughter, who lives in Berlin. She loved it to.
@Ankit_Dutta1
@Ankit_Dutta1 7 ай бұрын
Really needed it, for a long time I have been carrying a burden, thinking negatively, not caring about myself, having family problems, not having emotionally supportive people, and seeing my friends committing suicide also made me think about doing it. Always chasing after one thing or another and saying to myself that I am going to celebrate on my next achievement, and keep pushing it back seeking perfection to gain another materialistic thing from my childhood has affected me a lot. But recently I have decided to change that, I have started working out, taking care of myself, enjoying my achievements, and also trying out journaling. Though sometimes at the back of my head, the thought still pops up - is doing all this even helping me, am I even making a change. Watching your videos has really helped me out in these times. Thank you for making them.
@lili-mh5gb
@lili-mh5gb 7 ай бұрын
🫶🏽
@grizeldaxxx4568
@grizeldaxxx4568 7 ай бұрын
Thanks You for sharing !!
@JudithGadd
@JudithGadd 7 ай бұрын
This video takes us to a whole different level where we can see the underpinnings of our behaviors. This is your best video yet!
@ericasmith4250
@ericasmith4250 7 ай бұрын
What is there not to love about you Rajiv? I smiled throughout this video as I'm absolutely awestruck!🥰
@sandrahammond5566
@sandrahammond5566 4 ай бұрын
It hurts my heart to know you suffered with things that were SO out of your control! We all have "our crosses to bear", nobody goes unscathed! You looked inward in such a way, that you saw a goldmine, and mined only the best parts of yourself, and your truths were set free! What a wonderful HUMAN you are! We are blessed that you are so open and kind, witty and a bit silly! Yay!
@vitalityseeker6193
@vitalityseeker6193 7 ай бұрын
Our practiced disciplines set us free. You are such a magnificent human being, Rajiv!❤
@joftius
@joftius 7 ай бұрын
Great overall advice. I'm going to make two small exceptions. First, even though it seems paradoxical, it is sometimes good to be discontent. We can misuse contentment to avoid facing a challenge. Maybe we should think of contentment like rest: we need some amount of it regularly, but we also need activity. And second, sometimes sharing negative emotions with another is an important way of being open and strengthening relationships. I think you described it as a problem when it's done repetitively and without growth or improvement, so this isn't much of an exception. Some amount of Stoicism and self-reliance is good, but too much can be isolating. Personally, I think I learned from the "toxic masculinity" in society to take those things too far. But, most of the time and for almost everyone, I think this advice is pretty spot on. Thanks for another great video!
@ViviButter
@ViviButter 7 ай бұрын
Yes true. While i also agree with video. I want my loved ones to reach out to me if they need support. I dont want them to isolate and try to manage everything on their own. But then again, this is something else than ppl complaining over and over about the same thing without really wanting change.
@LadyPotions
@LadyPotions 7 ай бұрын
That last part really impacted me, you are so right about spreading negativity Vs positivity to the people that you live with. Right now when I catch myself entering a negative state of mind I remind myself to be grateful for anything and my mood switches so quickly. I also remind myself that if today is my last day on earth do I want to go out with this energy?? That also does the trick
@monikamarsollek3493
@monikamarsollek3493 7 ай бұрын
Hi, Rajiv, thank you for sharing. At the age of almost 69 I agree in all points you mentioned. I’m coming from the same background concerning my father, but I noticed early, that I can paint, write (calligraphy!), read, knit, crochet, cook, walk, swim, play, sing and think…. all my sorrows away. Of course I was jealous many times hearing that other children had the nicest parents, lived in a safe sourrounding, visited a Waldorf school… but I noticed, that I can be proud of myself, because I found all the skills in myself and I noticed, too: other people were jealous about all the things I was doing while working full time as a jurist. Confusing. But I always told them honestly that I was PRACTICING every day, learning several languages, playing the guitar, even running a (well prepared) marathon at the age of 50… Does that make a life perfect? No. I’m sometimes sick, I’m sometimes tired. I’m not the best artist. But I can be enthusiastic about the most little things and I consider my biggest talent the ability to enjoy being alone, not feeling lonesome at all. I enjoy so much to watch your videos, following your thoughts and insights at such a young age. By the way: your paintings are great exercises to watch light and shadow, growing and wandering around. The patience to watch… a gift! Love from Germany, Monika❣
@AnnebeauTV
@AnnebeauTV 7 ай бұрын
Rajiv, you are a gem! Wishing you the best!
@karunaastrology
@karunaastrology 7 ай бұрын
I want to really appreciate you rajiv. It was courageous of you to come out of it all alone and your channel is therapeutic. I can feel you and also understand how much effort it takes to be positive when everything around is a mess. Thank you so much for this video.
@MyCygnusX1
@MyCygnusX1 7 ай бұрын
Not gunna lie - I wish more people complained to me. I dislike people hiding their pain as it gives a false illusion of the world. It is both light and dark. I guess one sided complaining could be bad. But having space with others to share is powerful and lets you realise you are not alone.
@JenniferCamche
@JenniferCamche 7 ай бұрын
You are a talented storyteller and teacher. A great teacher uses examples from everyday life to teach a concept so that all can understand and assimilate the information. I always enjoy your videos because of your way of delivering your message. Thank you for your beautiful videos.
@DS-mo5ih
@DS-mo5ih 7 ай бұрын
Honestly, this year have taught me many lessons that I would never forget in my life and as you mentioned, darkness is not a bad thing in life. It is what that tests your strength and hope. When I came to realise that everything in life are just moments like passing clouds, I began to let go of things that aren't in my control. What's mine will find me and what's already mine, I am grateful for it. Thank you for this video 🙏
@alexandra_sa_lazer
@alexandra_sa_lazer 7 ай бұрын
Rajiv, I needed this. I hope this does sound weird, but I felt this in my soul. With tears in my eyes, I thank you
@rajivsurendra
@rajivsurendra 7 ай бұрын
You're very welcome. Thank you for watching.
@ForeordainedEchoes
@ForeordainedEchoes 7 ай бұрын
As someone who's had to do a speed run in coping mechanisms when my country got invaded two years ago, I resonated with a lot of your points. I think it's very important to remember that you, and only you, are responsible for your own happiness, and only you have the power to change your circumstances if they are making you miserable (at least the things that are within your control, like housing, jobs, etc. Some things are just truly out of your control, such as war, and there's nothing you can do about that). However, I disagree about being self-sufficient in your own emotional needs. In the last two years, I've learned that community support and solidarity from my friends and family is one of the most important things for getting through a really difficult times. Yes, it's important to limit complaining (especially when it's all you ever do and you never try to fix the root cause of your suffering), but in times when suffering is brought on by loss, war, or other tragedy, it's important to be able to lean on other people while also taking responsibility for finding your own little moments of happiness and trying to deal with your issues so that your friends are only one source of support and an additional shoulder to lean on. But I ultimately agree--at the end of the day, it does all come down to you to take care of yourself, and it's important to learn to be alone and to feel your emotions and not let them control you. Society would be so much better if more people learned to do that--but also to learn to ask for help and to take responsibility for changing your circumstances and finding your happiness.
@juliak1615
@juliak1615 4 ай бұрын
I cannot comprehend in the least what you must be going through, living with war - but I immediately thought of community and leaning on each other the way you described, too. In German, probably in many other languages too, there is a saying: Shared sorrow is half the sorrow. I am so glad to read your comment, sending solidary thoughts your way.
@DanielRayRodriguezMovieReviews
@DanielRayRodriguezMovieReviews 7 ай бұрын
Hey Rajiv, I just wanted to say: much respect to you sir. I enjoy your KZbin channel on here. My brother and I have been a big fan of yours, since you played Kevin Gnapoor in Mean Girls in 04. We used to always quote your lines of dialogue from the movie, especially the “How Do You Like Me Now? You Like That? Yeah, Get Some, Get Some!” Scene towards the end of the movie
@floraluxla
@floraluxla 7 ай бұрын
I loved the unexpected suggestion of keeping tools clean and oiled - and how this practice as well as analogy can apply to our thinking minds. Thank you for another beautiful talk, Rajiv. You are loved.
@GabieApolo
@GabieApolo 7 ай бұрын
I really needed to hear this. I've been struggling horribly with things in my life and it has gotten to a reallu dark point. What Rajiv said about western culture is 100% true. I'm always thinking "I'll get better once I achieve this... or once I get that.... or once I have that thing" It shouldn't be this way. I'm really trying to get better but sometimes it seems the world asks for a strenght I do not have. However I will continue to try my best to improve my mind and soul. Is all I have.
@claudiaflores1996
@claudiaflores1996 7 ай бұрын
You are a beautiful soul!! I’m grateful for you and everything you share.. you are a treat! I love your apartment and your style, you are living the life I wish I could create for my self. Thank you! Please don’t stop creating such beautiful inspirational content 💜
@nessavee2205
@nessavee2205 5 ай бұрын
Rajiv, you are truly a gift from God. Thank you for spreading this much needed message. ❤️
@divya3970
@divya3970 7 ай бұрын
I'll tell you what - you don't even need to talk about positive thinking Rajiv. You just have to pop up on the camera and it creates positive vibes already. One of my all time favorite channels on KZbin. Hope you continue being the authentic genuine being that you are and not end up like other YT creators chasing clicks subscribers mindlessly. 🙏🙏🙏
@lee.m.506
@lee.m.506 7 ай бұрын
I totally agree - on all counts!
@nathalie9726
@nathalie9726 7 ай бұрын
dear rajiv ,i appreciate you so much as a human. life is supposed to be a journey, not a suffering path, i have had several difficulties in my life and a lot of illness but i always stand back,ntake a look of what i have achieved and i have to say that i am very satisfied of my life and the way I influenced my children ,my husband and my friends..for me , positivity is a way of being,thinking and embracing ,even all the bad things. thank you for beeing there and making a difference. (sorry my english is a little bit rusty )
@marjoriejoasil5576
@marjoriejoasil5576 7 ай бұрын
My most favorite video thus far Rajiv! Through your videos we get acquainted to different layers of your personality. You will so succeed! The best is yet to come ✨
@stormeliz7406
@stormeliz7406 6 ай бұрын
God bless you Rajiv. Feeding chickens, doing the small things. You have so much wisdom.
@mitaganguly3948
@mitaganguly3948 7 ай бұрын
That neighbours doggy...aaagghhh.... ❤❤❤ God i feel so ashamed...i complain to my bestie incessantly about my relationship issues. Now thinking about it she always listens patiently...even tough she has her own problems. Will appologize and try to bring light not darkness into the little spot of earth where i stand. I had a cousin brother who made his docs and nurses laugh even as he was dying of cancer...laughter always surrounded him...he would look up jokes to tell people every morning...cant wrap my head around his psyche....just cant😢... Hope to be more aware and change slowly. Gift of happiness will boomerang.
@rajivsurendra
@rajivsurendra 7 ай бұрын
This was really nice for me to read. You made the first step towards changing your behaviour, identifying that you complain incessantly to your friend! YES! Now that you know, you can catch yourself the next time you start doing it and you can mentally give yourself a little smack and say, "Stop it!" to yourself! Your cousin can be your inspiration, learn from what he did and be that person - who makes the people around them happy.
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