How to Change: If The Dismissive Avoidant Is Doubting Their Feelings (Part 2 of 3)

[@michaelfels4742]

This channel does more for me then my therapist does lol. Keep it up.

[@idaliakulik]

Please, please, PLEASE include previous videos in the description! They often have different names and it's difficult/time consuming to find them!

[@Nirosha101]

*I seriously love all your videos. It's like magic, the way you're able to read my mind. It's like you know me even without having met me. I've gotten to know a lot about myself through your videos. Thank you so much! I sooo wish I could talk to you someday. I'm going through a really rough time right now with a relationship.*

[@wht1232]

Thais, your content in these videos, and especially everything in PDS courses/webinars are truly life changing. I’d encourage everyone to join. Truly grateful. 🙏🏼

[@Josuost16]

And this trance states last for long. Many hours a day indeed. It not easy to get out of them without learning tools. Day by day I think I can progress over these trance states.

[@xw6475]

Did the test so i am here. Thank you so so much for the test and i am here on this journey to learn, grow and heal myself. Because for the 37 years of my life now, i have struggling love myself and understand my worth. This is the year i want to break this cycle and start to live again. Subscribed and i am looking forward for more healing tools and videos!! Please keep them coming!! Stay safe

[@0Demiyah0]

Thais, you are God sent, thank you for your compassion explaining the DA.

[@michaelyarmas4423]

So she got "drunk" on her subconscious negative thoughts, and pulled away believing them. and now that's her truth... I feel as if there was a death, and an asssss kicking, mine! and she will never know her role... or how badly she hurt me. or even that it happened. she actually got mad at me for being angry when she dropped the bomb, knowing it was out of left field for me...

[@ummewaseem4910]

Thank you Thais for another awesome video. Could you do a video on what to do as the partner of the DA when they are doubting their feelings and deactivating etc? X

[@Kimberlyelayyne]

Yes!!!❤

[@SophieLukacs]

yesssssss :)

[@martinrehout9121]

That depends on your attachment. Ultimately it is only possible to stay true to yourself and your own needs and communicate that to your partner as compassionately as possible. Once you start feeling like you have to tiptoe around your partner, there is an imbalance regarding your own needs, as you’re unable to prioritise yourself out of fear of either abandonment (AA), or betrayal (FA).

[@CristianaCatólica]

Yes please do those videos tomorrow! Thank you so much.

[@DianeLeifer]

Please do a video on how DAs can benefit from feeling - when in relationships.

[@mochiwaffles]

Our ego creates the most powerful demons.

[@pickledoe212]

This is such a good explanation 🥺

[@maysaraali5772]

I love how passionate you are about it💗Thank!

[@bobbyjean1581]

So I'm guessing FAs would get 'drunk' from both activating and deactivating strategies, depending on what was being triggered? E.g. if their avoidant side was triggered they are going to act like a DA in that moment?

[@angelae.campos179]

Thais Gibson you are Great ! Thank you !

[@alealejaandraaa4112]

Love these videos. Thanks for posting!

[@forloveandasong0030]

Hi, I have a question regarding FAs lying and or disconnecting from their feelings and lying and how to deal with this when one is engaged in a conflict.

[@tulip5210]

forloveandasong 00 I am eager to hear about the fearful side as well!

[@AngelLopez-ul1sf]

My fearful self reading this and being like oop that’s totally a thing I do and didn’t realize til you said that hahaha

[@ava-jl1ll]

Did that video ever go up? If so can it be linked

[@addtoit]

This is the juice 🥤 this is the good stuff 👌🏻

[@consistentlychristy2991]

The previous videos aren’t linked?

[@amanifestasticlife842]

I am a FA, interested in a DA - how could I encourage him to feel safer with me?

[@martinrehout9121]

Akasha Angel Luna Hi Akasha. I believe some of the things DAs appreciate the most is when they are not being criticised or pressured in any way. Think of them as a flower that has been void of water and sunlight for years. You can water it, you can provide the sunshine, but only after the flower decides and replenishes itself can it bloom again. Knowing this, and knowing the DA will open up only when it is their time and not a moment sooner, the consideration of your own needs and desires comes into question. As you allow the DA partner to open up on their time, the same commitment will be asked of you forwards your own needs. In fact it will be only through the committed and vulnerable fulfilment of your own needs (with or without your partner) that will allow for the DA to let go of their expectations, and allow for them to open up completely. But it cannot happen In a codependent space where they are being approached in any amount of control, rescuing or fixing. Only allowing does the job. Good luck !

[@amanifestasticlife842]

@@martinrehout9121 thank you for this beautiful reply :)

[@martinrehout9121]

@@amanifestasticlife842 Youre welcome! :)

[@TeshaWheel]

Can you share links to video 1 and 3 please, really grateful for your work and videos! Really helpful! 😊

[@bellabong8862]

@@martinrehout9121 So the delicate DA is a scared little closed up flower in need of watering and access to sunshine from their partner who must carefully avoid crushing any eggshells surrounding the precious flower. This dance will continue for however long it takes for the flower to feel ready to risk the terrible danger of opening up. In the meantime, the partner must water her/himself (or be a cactus) and require nothing from the flower (that would make the dear flower feel criticized and pressured). Got it.