How to Change the Way You React Emotionally

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

#selfhealers, let me know if this one is helpful! I promise you if you practice this one, life shifts. -Nicole @the.holistic.psychologist

[@sandrajovic9304]

❤

[@kendrawilson9964]

This was very helpful for me, thank you for posting this ❤️

[@islagrace9960]

Please please can you do a video on dissociation. I have been struggling with dissociation for over a year now, and some advice/understanding would be so valuable :)

[@traceyoconnell9270]

You are so amazing, Nicole. You speak so comfortably and fluidly about such complex feelings. So grateful you are teaching so many of us these valuable skills. It's so hard to remember to do the deep breaths- but EVERY TIME I DO, it works to help me calm down and feel my feelings rather than resisting them, avoiding them or screaming out. So tough. So worthwhile. Will continue to practice. FYI I took deep breaths the entire time I was watching this video and now I feel so much better than when I started watching.

[@Samantha-th1dr]

This was very helpful to me, Nicole! I just wrote in my future self journal this morning that 'I can use my breath to work through unproductive thoughts.' Thank you for explaining how I can do that better. I'm going to start practicing my 5 belly breaths every morning after I journal. :)

[@Lr8_youtube]

Notice the trigger, change your perception 1. Everything is for my highest good 2. Breathe 3. Respond in a new way, instead of reacting

[@cycolburn99]

Why does mom know how to push my buttons? She installed them.

[@savedbygrace9788]

Cy Colburn gotta rewire your circuits

[@peunn3407]

Why does she only here me when I’m not talking to her?😬

[@mandygreen6734]

@@peunn3407 😂

[@bringontherainbows8369]

This was an awesome comment

[@gdm1979]

Exactly!!!

[@aywancfc]

The pause is so important, it helps us begin to ask why we’re feeling this way, and recognize that emotions and facts are separate things-once we have the space to pause, reflect and assess, we can also begin to routinely validate our own feelings, thoughts and perspectives as valuable, understandable, and completely acceptable without always immediately acting on them from a place of reactivity.

[@innersoundsacademy]

I just wanted to say that I appreciate how real you are and that you say fuck!! It's fuckin awesome. Really enjoy your work and your bad ass self.

[@azaleaslightsage1271]

I used to do this I learnt Emotional intelligence & don't get triggered in the first place anymore, Learnt that I am 100% responsible for the creation of all my emotions, others don't cause my emotions others don't cause me to react, I do all that by myself, I can CHOOSE myself whether to react, I also Choose ALL my Emotions/feelings, learning this completely changed my life, I kicked all Drs meds Psychological types & healed myself from CPTSD PTSD DEPRESSION SEVERE ANXIETY SEVERE HYPERVIGGILENCE BI-POLAR few other nasties by learning Emotional intelligence, Learning I have a Choice because I choose my emotions/feelings I choose my reactions NOT OUTSIDE SOURCES I took 100% responsibility for myself & made different choices Said with much Love Kindness and Respect to all ✌🤔💖

[@sandrajovic9304]

I'm finding the same

[@azaleaslightsage1271]

@@sandrajovic9304 BLESS you on your Self healing self realisation Journey it's a Beautiful Journey a Beautiful space to be in ✌💖

[@mariateresaemotionalmusings]

I did the same so I congratulate you my fellow emotional warrior🎉 taking time to reflect and do the deep inner work that's needed helped me make that all important shift into my own body. When emotions from others make me feel icky I immediately tell myself that that's on them and has nothing to do with me personally. Good stuff my friend!

[@azaleaslightsage1271]

@@mariateresaemotionalmusings LOVE reading this Huge high 5 to you ✌💖

[@mariateresaemotionalmusings]

@@azaleaslightsage1271 awwww thank you...high gives right back atcha🤜

[@KMediaTVChannel]

Sadhguru said: the privilege of how I am feeling is only assigned to myself, to no one else. this is very helpful, thank you Nicole! it helps so much to understand it physiological to make more sense. love you so much, steph

[@evadebruijn]

Seen Sadhguru on Diary of a CEO? ✌️

[@nichellehowell8772]

Working on responding rather than reacting in my life right now with my therapist ❤️ so this is perfect.

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

It's powerful work, Nichelle.

[@nichellehowell]

🙀 we have the same name

[@jasmingodoymusic]

This happened to me today, I got triggered by my boss and in my emotional reaction sent him that nasty email.. I immediately felt really ashamed of it, and apologized. And now I see this video, so this will really help me in the future. If I would've waited 10 minutes and breathed, I probably wouldn't have responded in such a way. I have to learn to give myself time as well.. I'm usually very impatient and wanna get things over with, but 'cause more trouble actually. Thank you for your videos!

[@nothingspecial598]

You, Tara Brach, and Yoga with Adrienne have had such a eye-opening and compassionate impact on my reparenting journey.

[@EonsOfReflection]

here, here, same journey >:D< p.s. I also really love Christina Lopes, Teal Swan and J P Sears. maybe you might too :)

[@Viafupa]

YWA 🌹🌹🌹

[@amimartino5364]

Love Tara Brach

[@courtneybrubaker9738]

It works, BIG TIME. Mom yelled at me “Do it right.” I was cleaning her spit up. Wow, I thought to myself who did this to her? I also realized why I’ve adopted don’t try, why bother, I quit to soooo many areas of my life! I had a good talk with my inner kid.

[@harneetkour4534]

Summary -1) Define Trigger -Trigger is an emotional activation often it is the result of unmet needs,emotional trauma ,past events ,emotional wounds that we carry with us n then we use those events those experiences assign a meaning to things that are happening in our current environment wht we feel internally this is the really big feeling. Do daily belly breath for 5-10 minutes a day . Thank u for this information 🙏🙏

[@iliveinarichgirlsdream]

I tried 3 when you first showed the example, and that shit got me high as rocks it feels good thank you I’ll try to do this everyday

[@tanfoss5969]

You are actually explaining what ECKHART Tolle teach..wow...thank you...HOW TO RESPOND TO THE PAIN BODY.. you are friken amazing..thank you so much

[@lucijaduh1137]

Thank you for this video 🙏❤ I dreamed today that when I got angry I took 3 deep breaths (it was in my dream, I was breathing) and today I find your video ..

[@sagenosnibor9173]

I saw this comment on another youtube video in the comment section that helped me! "This emotion I am having is real, but it may not be true."

[@Meadow1143]

I'm just going over how things can happen so quickly and intensely. People can do outrageous things to try and get at you. It's hard to imagine belly breathing during a situation. Especially when they want an immediate response.

[@prisillaspace]

Wow! I’ve learned to do this…before I saw this video 😮 I noticed the deep breathing calmed me and settled my mind… Knowing I didn’t want to react as usual… ❤❤❤

[@giuliamicelli4398]

It’s been a year I’m trying to change my reactions when I feel emotionally overwhelmed. I get triggered many times and every time I make the promise that this wouldn’t happen again. I have always thought that I needed to change the people who hurt me, showing them that it was not fair to treat me like that. But I always failed. With this video I now truly understand that I cannot change people . I have understood that the only way to heal and to change my responses when I feel emotionally overwhelmed is to return to me and the most simple way to do that is breathing. It is incredible that your videos always come in handy because yesterday I had a very bad reaction after a while . God’s listening to me. And thank you Nicole for being his mouthpiece ❤️

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

I see you. This is beautiful.

[@honeyjames8663]

A huuuge thank you for this. So many videos tell you what is wrong, but not how to deal with it 💝🙌🏼

[@padamsharma7000]

I'm never able to take a deep breath when I'm triggered, my mind never allows me to go in that position, especially when I'm feeling bad or agressive, my mind keeps going places over and over

[@dikshakalra8534]

Breathwork worked MIRACLE for me. I can't say that enough. I started that in December as a part of my routine. Then at the time of new year resolution, i wanted to make a resolution of 'doing yoga' but then i said to myself, it should be small so that i can follow. After beating my own resistance, i finally take a resolution for breathwork. And I'm so proud of myself for keeping it till date. None of my resolution survived this long. Thank you so much Dr Nicole. You are constant member of my gratitude journal 🌸🙏

[@oritglitterbaby1856]

I love that your videos are so accessible, 15 minutes or less, but so impactful! And, easy to digest, which helps. Thank you!

[@angela5627]

Just listening to your advice causes me to remember to be kind to myself and to praise myself even in small wins and I am just gonna keep that positive momentum going

[@MsJoyce31202]

Feeling bad out of anger but not necessarily out of shame.

[@PeaceMeBish]

I’m such a shallow, chest-based breather that my left lung collapsed when I was 21. At the time, Doctors had no idea why. Years later, now that I’m well down the self-healing path, I realize it’s because I was never breathing properly and held all my childhood traumas and wounds in my chest/body. My goal/purpose now is to help heal others so that they don’t have to experience these physical symptoms anymore. I’m so glad that we are now waking up to the mind/body connection!

[@mjrussell414]

Gen K Wow. I’m glad you are on the path to reclaim your life and find your purpose. Your story reminds me of that book “The Body Remembers,” how emotional trauma can affect health.

[@doingme8384]

I needed to head this!! I have such a bad reaction to reacting emotionally and it really hurts my relationships....I am going to start practicing this. Thank you!!

[@jamescadzow9545]

Spend your time focusing on you and remove your triggers for good so you don't have to deal with it. Life become so much simpler then.

[@akshitanandanwar2996]

Man! You just somehow solved my biggest life problem. I have a critical mom, I love her but we get in bad bad fights. Hope this gets better.

[@Dulcedecorumest]

I actually played myself because I was triggered and said, find Dr Nicole content then I told myself I was fine and no need then spent 2 days in turmoil. I finally caved and this video was here and has been here for days. Trying really hard not to self flagellate.

[@garvitnagpal4330]

Dr. Nicole, I have been following you for a while on Instagram (so grateful to my sister for introducing me to you) and now on KZbin as well. . I just want to say I LOVE YOU. You are doing a brilliant job at helping people HEAL. You matter!

[@coutinhopaula]

Hope to remember this by Christmas dinner

[@Vivientures]

Thank you so much for this. I just had an extremely volatile reaction today that I'm afraid might've hurt my relationship deeply. I wish I saw this sooner, but now I know how to handle my emotions if I ever feel them come up again. I can't thank you enough

[@kathycook1060]

One of my favorite things about you Dr. Nichole is your calming voice. Thank you for sharing. You have helped me a lot.

[@ranafa7726]

You remind me of a teacher of mine whom I adore, and every time I watch one of your videos I get this warm feeling in my chest. You are an awesome person. Thank you for everything you are doing.

[@777dilki]

Thankyou this was so helpful, im so grateful for all that you have contributed to the community. You have no idea how much of salvation you bring into our lives. So blessed and thankful to have come across your channel! I just came out of an argument with mom..and its not easy living with a critical mom for most my life..for me this is the case with both my parents. Its actually heartbreaking to witness how me and my sisters get differential treatment based on how well we are capable of meeting their needs. And they do all this unconsciously but this pattern being repeated over several years have left a lot of resentment in my heart despite all the effort put into being present when around them, their critical words and differential treatment trigger past wounds and i end up reacting! Its a very slow healing process!!!

[@christie2182]

This actually happened to me the other day before I even realized I was being triggered. It was a smaller more shallow breath but I didn't lash out on someone I knew deep down wasn't intentionally "hurting my feelings". With this method you just discussed maybe now I can do even better.

[@giniroserealestate]

Can we just sit together and I could release all my neuroses while you hold my hand and I cry

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

We sure can, Gini.

[@giniroserealestate]

@@TheHolisticPsychologist Bless you for being here

[@milaknowslight6307]

I felt this ❤️

[@tilottamam7315]

gosh I'm crying through these videos

[@eps4560]

That sounds like a good idea to start one of those Meetup groups to do that. Just hold hands and cry it out. 😆 I am not kidding. 😐

[@melindacarpenter9202]

I really needed this. I have needed it for years. Finally, a real way through.

[@gianaeden]

Yes, this is helpful! I like the idea of practicing this breath each day so when triggered it is a go to breath to release the trauma of hurt/shame that arises so quickly. I usually need to talk to someone and talk myself down off the ledge, but this shows me a tool to use to bring myself into calm awareness and I believe will become a wonderful tool for self healing!

[@pam1830]

Thank you for this advice and reminder! I have the tendency to internalize these emotional reactions which then trigger migraine headaches that leave me debilitated for hours (sometimes days!). I am so so so tired of this way of being, and will continue doing breath-work to help my shattered nervous system.

[@PepperyPete10]

This is so helpful. I’d say forgive the other person too.

[@thecbsnetwork]

Thank you. I was searching for a way today to work through pain that was arising again when your email arrived in my inbox. The way you articulated the process and pattern of triggers and how we can choose to respond in a way that is empowering really resonated with me.

[@jasna9665]

You are amazing. 🤗😍 As an empath, I sometimes react emotionally when somebody is lying to me and I know the truth. So thank you for this one. I do belly breaths at night, before sleep. I will try them in those situations, too. God Bless you! 🙋‍♀️❤️🇰🇼

[@manjimaroy1164]

I am so grateful that I found you through Insta, and now I am so obsessed with your topics.Has been helping me a lot in my self healing journey in this lockdown. Thank you.For being so kind

[@vivveene]

Thank you for sharing. Priceless gems that I soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooneed. Nuff Love from the Caribbean.

[@margaret-annemacarthur6744]

Thank you so much, I can completely relate, but your meditation has helped immensely. This is so helpful too.

[@stephaniefortney22]

Thank you for all you give us, so many from my generation don’t realize we bring the past forward….we are hurting those whom did not hurt us… appreciate your tool you share and your heart…

[@Mary-zo4rx]

You are such an amazing person sharing all of this with us

[@Abundance26]

I def needed this yesterday 😄 The breathing really is a heaven sent. It helps when I'm losing my sh*t. Grounding

[@jleemassage]

Thank you , I’ve been searching for someone like you to explain all this for years , therapist after therapist , thank you for being the light 💡

[@upsidedownindu]

thank you. the tools you provide are invaluable. so grateful to have (finally) become aware of your channels and all the work you do. a blessing to receive these gifts 🌸

[@islagrace9960]

Please please can you do a video on dissociation. I have been struggling with dissociation for over a year now, and some advice/understanding would be so valuable :)

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

I will do this very soon.

[@hayat9095]

Please I would like to know more this disassociating myself etc etc

[@mariateresaemotionalmusings]

Dr. Nicole....I love your Sunday Pearl's of wisdom! As somebody who practices yoga, I have definitely benefited from breathwork and the energy it can build and also release into our bodies. It's hugely important! Once again you have captured a healing tool so articulately here in your video that we who are on this self healing journey can immediately put into practice. A million thanks🙏💜

[@nicolettavitulli4724]

Thank you again Nicole every video I watch brings me closer to a healthier lifestyle physically I'm working on because I'm soccer coach mentally I need you thank you for coaching me 🙏🙏🤗

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

It's an honor to be on this journey together.

[@bethanypo1809]

Thank you for this, because it clarifies that breathing deeply is in fact a skill that needs to be learned. I have been feeling embarrassed for not being able to breath deeply - thinking I'm just super out of shape or something, or that I have week lungs (basically I thought I didn't have control over it.) But now I know it IS something I can control just with 5 easy breaths a day. I feel silly for not realizing this before

[@rahmaaboaowf1717]

I don’t even imagine that there are videos like that ♥️!

[@ThePositivityPrincess]

Thank you for this. I love how you explained with a very concrete example. It’s not always someone’s mom... but this can easily be transferred to whoever (or whatever) is the trigger. Xoxox

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

Exactly. The mom example is just an example. This can be applied to anyone in our lives, including strangers.

[@juanitazischke5551]

I love synchronicity ♥️ I having been dealing with feelings of “not being enough” for the past week because of some issues with family. I’ve known about Breath work but didn’t think to put it into practice. Now I’m so much more aware. Thank you 🙏🏻

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

Awareness heals. I see you

[@lilymanning2]

Fabulous thank you. I can relate to the reaction behaviour and also the dissociation. I will try this and sit with my emotions and understand why I have been triggered and break the cycle. I don't want this anymore. And breathe......

[@raxmacail]

Some times I feel dark heavy emotions I don't even know thier names

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

you and me both.

[@smilelikeUmeanit90]

emotions OR feeling? Not the SAME , I think.

[@capricecraigmill9926]

This so HELPFUL. Thank you DEVINE 😊 💓

[@Ojoma-n7y]

You are 💯 percent right in all you say here .

[@skydancer7902]

When she said,"I scream, 'f*ck you." I about died. I guess I didn't expect a therapist to be so salt of the earth. Hysterical. ..Very wise and relatable speech.

[@stephaniehart3595]

So helpful. I'm so happy I ran across your video today!! Thank you

[@Xoxucantfinme1]

I’ve been looking to understand this!! Thank you for sharing! I really appreciate this because when I have kids, I’ll teach them how important their spiritual and emotional relationships are. ✨💗

[@Ang4LuVBeBe]

I work at a Children's Shelter, and you are helping me be a better care giver 💓💗💖💟🧡💚

[@Godisgreat-777]

Thank you for this. I have C-PTSD and I am doing EMDR therapy for it. It’s working miracles for my healing process without the need for any pharmaceuticals. Something I took for nearly 30 years. I finally realized that the stuff I have been through is supposed to hurt badly and that I don’t have to heal through it gracefully either. Like society teaches us. Not to feel our God given emotions. I made it through a literal hell without relapsing on alcohol either. I was an ugly mess but I survived by the grace of God. One thing I find myself doing when I’m upset is, I hold my breath. Then I proceed to usually have a panic attack. Breathing is vital... obviously. 😉When I turn my focus to my breathing, I can calm down almost immediately. How do I sometimes forget to do something so basic and natural when I am upset?!?!Great video!! thank you again!!🤗❤️

[@momo90416]

Thank you 🙏 I appreciate how you teach us tools to deal with these things in a way that is succinct and easy to understand. 🌹🌹🌹

[@thump31100]

Omg so happy I just found your page, This is so relevant over my life I do this all the time I have awareness about my reaction but I don’t have structure on how to handle it. Thank you so much

[@yvonneschlame8657]

Yes, a very helpful reminder, thank you. I really appreciate your holistic approach, it finally merges the two aspects of personal work I'm most drawn to, the very human perspective of psychology , and the spiritual. I don't find this very often, yet so important 🙏

[@sheilamore3261]

Absolutely I agree to get a hold of our feelings to know how to handle them under a lot of stress not always easy it does take a lot of practice what you said is very true

[@elisalu34]

OMG... I love your channel!! Found you a few weeks ago. Keep them coming. These are gold. 🤩

[@bhargavi368]

Thank u soo much Dr. Nicole!! Like I have no words to express that how happy I am to come across this vedio! This is exactly I'm struggling with my family and I wanted to change the way I react, I know that I have to change but cummulative things makes me respond in heightened way I'm really gonna try this and change this off as soon as possible Thank u once again 🥺

[@Wat671]

Thank you, i know this will really help me, i've been doing this sometimes for this past week, and i notice a difference, keeping it up is the main struggle for me, but i know i can do it, thank you : )

[@melinda38]

Thank you for breaking this down in such a comprehensive way!❤️

[@valstevenson9252]

Thank you for sharing. I am healing evolving& finding many answers here. 💕

[@yourbrave4973]

Perfect!! Thank you 1000 times.. just what I needed to learn..🙏🙏🙏

[@switchofftogettagrip1400]

Thanks, I know a descent amount about the types of breathing and how they can truly change one's life. My wife tried to explain a breathing technique that you have just shown. Many billions of people really do not know how to breathe. Will get a hold of the person who suggested to my darling wife that she should try this breathing technique to find out the exact name, so from there I can help my wife to learn how to breathe. Many simply breathe in through the mouth and out again, Missing out on the benefits of learning how to breathe!

[@kurtistaylor7993]

As always , love your work, Thank You! 💜✌🏻Awesome Video!

[@Laminamistica]

Yes! Deep breathing and belly breaths really does help. I had some triggers come up yesterday and I focused on this type of breathing all day and it really helped me to calm down and center.

[@BFLYAgency]

So thankful to have come across your page. So helpful!

[@kollisrujankanth6607]

Mammmm that example was soooo good so that we can apply when such things happen andddd ur explanation regarding how trigger acts and how deep belly breathing works it was soo good🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏always love and more and more power to u

[@kariwattsup]

Very wonderful. I’m reading your books. Well, I’m listening on audible but I do love the ability to keep books at hands reach. The digital age is also a small trauma, lol. Hey, thank you soooo much. I heart you. You’re a really good friend to so many people. Speaking from my own empathic mind, of course. Bless you for sharing your experiences with the world. I’ve been in therapy for 27 or wait 32 years now. I am relieved to find the field of techniques expanding into the tiniest intricacies. As each of us is intricate and personally I don’t think one therapist can cover all there is to know. My insurance is accepted by so few so my choices are limited. In the end there is only me by myself realizing that I am the only one who can answer my questions. It’s good to have all the input for my tool box. Again, thank you. Om shanti

[@jeannarubino8790]

Life changing practice. I was a big reactor. Thank you for this.

[@sydneyalford7706]

Wowwww I just found your channel and I already know I’m going to be hooked... The way you explain things is so straightforward and super factual. Loved this vid♥️

[@brujalinda]

I just stay away from my mom she’s done this my whole life.

[@taxr2111]

You are great at what you do. You explain stuff so clear. Thanks doc!

[@gabbybarrett4229]

Great video!! Everything was explained so well and quick and brief!! Thank you.

[@sharonfunnell]

This information made so much sense to Me thank you 🙏🏻

[@sunnyadams5842]

Wow! First time visitor- that was awesome. I'm subscribed. Thank 💚 you - will be gack for more.

[@pracowniaswiadomosci]

Hello 🧡 You irritate me immensely. You speak truth, you are right and you have a great deal of my habits. You remind me of myself and I am currently unlearning emotional dismissal towards myself. I have gained my knowledge and now I am getting gentle with myself. And You trigger me from that strict coordination that deals with softness with raw strength. Oh, I know it will fade. So, leaving that aside, I admire your work, your devotion and your will power 👌

[@jetredrose]

This is so helpful! I’ve been wanting to learn how to deal with this better and the timing of this video is perfect! Thank you so much 💕 your videos have helped me so much paired with future self journaling. It has helped me more than going to therapy.

[@briannadivina6900]

This video is amazing!! I was wondering if you could make a video on how to cry again after not being able to, even if you want to? I’ve been struggling with this problem for a year and some change now, and it’s been the worst. I used to use crying as my greatest strength and helper, which is uncommon for most people but it used to help me so much. Not being able to cry has taken a huge toll on my mental health. Hope you see this xx, Thankyou!!

[@leweylunio6257]

Brianna Divina same. I feel you.

[@lorrainetaylor8570]

Thankyou so much for this vital information 💓

[@evolvewithgenamarie663]

Thank you for this i need some deep work to heal

[@katherinebotten]

levels on the microphone blowing out my speakers!

[@DJK-cq2uy]

Good insights on emotional triggers n reactions or responses

[@_knifewhore_]

0:56 woah I was not expecting that, but this video did help with how I act and react.

[@waterjediacademy3661]

Was that a cat? Really appreciate your work and the way you personalize with own examples from your life. Makes it relatable and shows that we're aaaaalllll going through the same thing yet handling it in different forms.