How To Do The Work And Get Out Of Your Own Way | Dr. Nicole LePera on Women of Impact

Hey guys, Lisa here! If you didn’t already know, I am super frikin excited to share that I’m writing a book! To be the FIRST to get sneak peeks about my book and other exclusive content go to: lisabilyeu.com/ and be sure to sign up for my newsletter.
Are you struggling to make truly impactful change in your life? Do you struggle with overthinking, fear, worry, and you continue to make decisions that are self-destructive and continue to hold you back in life? Today, put an end to that way of living and start walking down a path of embracing change and owning every single one of your life’s choices. On this episode of Women of Impact, holistic psychologist and author Dr. Nicole LePera joins Lisa Bilyeu to discuss such matters and more as they explore how you can put an end to your self-destructive ways that are holding you back from making real and necessary change in your life. They discuss how to identify the things in your life that are causing self-destruction, how to let go of your thoughts, how to overcome fear of change, how to stop betraying yourself, how to start on a path towards making the changes you want for your life, why you need to stop overthinking, how to find meaning and purpose, how to start the healing process, and much more.
Pre-Order Dr. LePera’s book, ’How To Do The Work’: amazon.com/How-Do-Work-Recognize-Patterns/dp/006301209X
SHOW NOTES:
Sabotage | Dr. LePera reveals how you can identify and address your own self-sabotage. [1:17]
Awareness | Dr. LePera reveals how to begin to shift your mind so you can change. [3:50]
Release | Dr. LePera reveals the power of letting go of your thoughts. [5:55]
Thoughts | Dr. LePera reveals how to process and address your thoughts. [8:25]
Fear | Dr. LePera reveals how to overcome fear and just start putting in the work. [11:13]
Betrayal | Dr. LePera reveals the difference between self-sabotage and self-betrayal. [16:01]
Intervene | Dr. LePera reveals how to not get caught up vulnerable moments. [18:20]
Changes | Dr. LePera reveals why your life, mind, and body is always changing. [23:03]
Shifting | Dr. LePera reveals why we fear change in ourselves and others. [25:07]
Expression | Dr. LePera reveals why you have to retrain your mind before doing. [30:40]
Overthinking | Dr. LePera reveals how your habit of overthinking is holding you back. [32:19]
Meaning | Dr. LePera reveals how to cultivate meaning and purpose. [33:06]
Choices | Dr. LePera reveals why you need to make positive-choices a habit. [36:22]
Healing | Dr. LePera reveals why you have to reverse-engineer your life’s choices. [37:15]
Connect | Dr. LePera reveals how you can continue to follow and learn from her. [39:33]
QUOTES:
“…there’s a universal reality that most of us humans share, or all of us humans share, which is that change is hard. Period.” [2:31]
“…It’s not about the smallness of the promise, it’s not even about the promise. When we’re talking about healing from self-sabotage and self-betrayal, it’s just the act of observing yourself show up.” [15:49]
“I think overthinking is a sabotage. I think humans and our thinking brain has become so primed, our school system trains us to solve all of problems from up here…” [32:27]
FOLLOW LISA BILYEU:
Instagram: bit.ly/2TIsoKh
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FOLLOW DR. LEPERA:
Website: yourholisticpsychologist.com
KZbin: / theholisticpsychologist
Instagram: the.holistic.psychologist
Facebook: the.holistic.psychologist/

[@susiegarcia9833]

This is great! Mel Robins talks about the "5 second rule". No, not the one where if you pick up a piece of food within 5 seconds of it touching the floor, it's still acceptable to eat. ...No, that's not the 5 second rule Mel is talking about. She is talking about when you have a thought pop in your head... such as, "I should work out"...you should immediately act on that thought and start doing it, within 5 seconds, before your brain talks you out of it. It's another layer that can go with what Dr. Nicole is talking about in this video above and it's been super helpful for me. Also knowing THIS hidden secret: YOU WILL NEVER FEEL LIKE IT. You're not broken because you have no motivation. It actually means you're normal. It takes great self discipline to force yourself into action and new habits. Celebrate the small accomplishments you make! Good luck to everyone reading this!

[@LisaBilyeu]

WE LOOOVE MEL!! Thank you for this! ❤️🔥

[@angeljennychisimdi3338]

Thank you for this ❤️

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

Thank you so much for having me

[@justnazari1723]

Thank you for all your work Nicole❤

[@lyndsiixo]

Your advice in this video especially about the grid lock, really helped me so thank you so much! Keep doing what you're doing and keep up the good work, you're changing lives! You're so smart and inspiring!!

[@menas6009]

Thank you for your insights 💜

[@myrameijer]

Can't wait for your book to finally come out!! 😃❤

[@MsInspireTooBeInspired]

Doc, what are ur views on pharmaceutical medication??

[@prithivichuhan]

Most Guests we have Americans Australian, English, Canadian. Almost whole month I have seen this book in the room with every new Guest wow wow. I started to feel what make that book so important, chattering with one guest She told me I should buy one only than I understand what in it. But she Guaranty me the Mony I pay will not regret. This lady was 48 year old...thanks Nicole for such effort.

[@crismis3880]

I only 17 minutes in and I totally love how this Dr thinks, I feel like she’s just opened my mind and said “just look and you’ll see” I am amazed wow. Thank you for sharing this 💗

[@maitreyik220]

She's Back!!!!! 🤩🤩 loveeee her so much and thank you for interviewing her so beautifully!!!!

[@LisaBilyeu]

Haha!! We looove her!! ❤️🙌

[@tch4874]

I really was feeling very down on myself this morning and then I found your video. You helped me turn my day around, finding strength, so thank you ❤️

[@yoshreimi]

Thats awesome. Invest in yourself more!

[@LisaBilyeu]

Amazing!! ❤️❤️

[@hannahmiller5515]

It helps so much to remember that negative thoughts mean I'm stressed and it's time to adjust my behavior to help me de-stress!

[@Jjustbbe]

Ive worked hard and loving myself

[@fluffyclouds555]

Me too. I love to see this self-compassion and self-confidence 👏

[@lyndsiixo]

Thank you both so much for this. I have been struggling to point where I feel like I'm drowning in self sabatoge and its been impossible to pull myself out. I hear my self-talk that talks me out of doing the hard stuff and its killing me. Im living in a constant state of cognitive dissonance that I have caused myself. Ive been trying to rewire my self talk and brain and this talk really helped me! I'm going to try out some of the self talk techniques, its really hard getting out of a hole Ive dug myself so deep in but Im taking babysteps.

[@phumlanyathikazi3024]

We have a tendancy to put people before our own needs i remember breaking down and pychologist asked me WHAT DO YOU want for your self this is so important to feed your needs .

[@TheNinnyfee]

What a great interview! ❤❤❤ Self-sabotage is easier to forgive for myself, it can be something small like eating too many cookies and feeling sick instead of focussing on your weight-loss goal. Or a pattern you need to identify. Betrayal IMO is something heavier like disregarding e.g. a personal dealbreaker just to keep a man or a job. And thus way harder to cope with. The reason behind it often is the same though, e.g. not believing that you're good/worthy enough.

[@prithivichuhan]

1000 years old Buddhist and upnishad wisdom, Nicole successfully try to explain simple way... You are great Nicole.

[@LulaS]

Great interview: self-love and embracing change are some of the most powerful tools we can use. 👍🏽💪🏽🔥

[@LisaBilyeu]

💯🙌❤️

[@melissaveras]

This is so good. Nicole speaks in imagery so clear. Brilliant.

[@jaz1elise]

I love the part where Dr. Nicole said to keep small promises to yourself daily!

[@211enlightenment]

This is where I am at the moment...going through this process through meditation.

[@user-vn9sh6hv8r]

She's awesome. Thanks for the great conversation. I really resonate with the "Purpose" & "Meaning" part of the interview. I've definitely been in that place of feeling like i don't have A Purpose, and while i still don't necessarily know what my "point" is, i am aware now of when i'm on the right path toward it. It feels more like a mystery destination i am travelling to rather than a familiar holiday camp i visit every year. The more i become attuned to my body and intuition, the more i know whether i'm on the right road or have taken a detour which would lead me back to the safety of home, my telly & a bag of chippies - aka the old comfort zone, but where i would ultimately miss out on that exhilarating feeling of being where one is meant to be... (I'm making up this metaphor as i go and i like it a lot! It's giving me insight as to what i need to "pack" - and what i need to leave behind also...). Very grateful for your channel, Lisa! 💕 Thanks for asking the right questions & holding space for these brilliant women & conversations. Take care🙏🌸😊

[@climbtheladder9440]

Beautiful comment 💜🔥

[@MmmMulholland]

Absolutely LOVE Nicole.

[@nz1520]

Thank you for your work!

[@SP.Addams]

I’d love a behind the scenes of that set holy cow. 🖤

[@ColbyTheOrangeTabby]

I absolutely love this

[@karinaserranovargas9872]

this kind of content is brilliant ! Im so lucky to have discover it :-)

[@sarahmarzouq1935]

Thank you! This was insightful.

[@Letliveorforeverholdyourpeace]

yeeeees! i love theholisticpsycologist! i repost her work aaaall the time! her views are so specific and really guide the lost. I have been waiting for this collab since forever. Thank you for this video

[@KnowinDesi]

I hear take ever thought captive and nurture it to right emotion. Find what keeps me balance and pay attention to when I’m not balance. Also buy the book lol

[@blisswkc3344]

Thank You so much dearest 🌹 You’re such an inspiration 🥰 Be Blissful Eternally 🙏😇🌈

[@taramintaka667]

So relevant thank you ladies ❤🙏🏾

[@velvetgardenia]

Always great, helpful info here. That's why i have Women of Impact on the bell ring notifications! 💎

[@LisaBilyeu]

Woohoo!! Love that! ❤️

[@Laura-ud6dv]

Thank you for sharing Lisa. Love your videos:) ordered Nicoles book and cannot wait to get it in March!❤️👏

[@LisaBilyeu]

Awesome! ❤️👏🙌

[@annathomas8569]

Loved this interview!!!!

[@celesteleonpodcast]

Great interview ladies ❤️🙌

[@amyrebeccaperez5240]

Thank you my dear...I've been following Nicole for the last few years.. She's AMAZING!!!! My healing especially with inner child work has sky rocketed because of her.. Thank you for this interview!!!🌻🙏🌻Great catapult into her new book😎

[@felicitygrace5113]

What have you used to do inner child work pleas

[@georgia3465]

Bravo koukla on this platform. I always love watching your interviews. You do a great job asking questions and letting the speaker speak without interrupting. Well done!

[@melissaveras]

lisa always asks practical questions!

[@LisaBilyeu]

Thanks so much! ❤️

[@LisaBilyeu]

@@melissaveras ❤️

[@lakitajoseph2832]

Great interview! 🙂🙂🙂

[@Geebs2161]

¡Mil Gracias! This interview w/Dr Lepera was so profoundly helpful. 👉🏾🌟Lisa B, I’m thankful that you share your journey & bring such truly helpful as well as meaningful insights/tools for us💜👈🏾 You Are Fiyah🔥Keep on Keepin’ Onward❣️

[@luxwolf8858]

You deserve millions of views.

[@BBYGELLE]

I love this so much

[@CorpusKristieTN]

This is Awesome!

[@kasandra1641]

Wow this is powerful Couldn’t ask for better timing 😅 - little daily things little promises I LOVED THIS THANK YOU SO MUCH ❤

[@LucyHunt]

Brilliant video! Embracing change and self love, what a simple recipe for happiness 😍🙌

[@LisaBilyeu]

❤️❤️

[@dailydoseofmedicinee]

Thanks❤

[@elena-251]

Thank you

[@outlanderr7448]

What you discover about us hardly anybody ever understood,, specially as Man its hard to accept that we still acting as child emotionaly rather adult way. Women are more open to accept things than us as Men. Thanks for your contribution.

[@jenils_]

This is powerful and precious, thank you Lisa and Nicole! 🔥💕🤩

[@prithivichuhan]

But one thing I must Mension, "How to do the work" seems more female community but please dnt forget we Men were ever Kids too. After reading a few pages I find myself with comfort that where and how I ws wrong about me and society around me. My opinion only a woman can come with such vast and deep understanding about Trauma and how to solve that for General Human.Nicole done that very well.

[@Spacersreturn433]

I've a genuine question and I hope I get an answer. I've done the work like lord I have. More than 8 years since I started meditation, actively observing my thoughts where I'm at all that all that. Put myself in isolation and sat with my thoughts patterns all that. And it's not something that you can stop one day and say hey I've attained nirvana now. Unless we're super committed like the monks. And stuff but I do believe that we can almost completely gain full control of our being a perfect balance between letting go and contemplating and observing the thoughts, patterns and all that. And yet there are those that sometimes I can't control and pretty sure even that might be a state of mind but this just seems the hardest for me to truly take control of. And that is my hormonal imbalance. I'm perfectly aligned having happy thoughts. Feeling peaceful the inner peace that comes when you silence the mind. And boom the hormonal imbalance kicks in, which has was horrendous from the time I had a c section but I've almost completely healed from then. I can tell but then again when the hormonal imbalance comes and the cycle begins. I immediately get dragged to that victim mentality or the " oh everybody is jealous mentality" and right I'm experiencing it. But I I straight away kept affirming to myself that hey from all the things I've learned from meditation the good and bad and the ugly. All the hours of listen and repeating affirmations. I affirm to myself that hey my body and my mind knows exactly what to think and how to feel or guide me to stop having these thoughts. But it's still difficult not that difficult like it used to be. Cos I now identify easily when I'm.out of alignment and immediately try to find center. And remove myself from the thought and it's so interesting . Now when I remove myself from the thought only the uncomfortable feelings remains. And I look at it straight up and realise it's not just the thought that brings the bad feeling but it can also be the bad feelings that ties us to bad thoughts to justify the hormonal imbalance . A lotta women have this problem but they seldom realise it. A lotta shit we feel bad about is directly linked to our cycle. Anyway I know we gotta eat healthy, exercise, meditation. To get our hormones from not affecting our mood. Anyway looks like I've answered my own question. Maybe bring a guest who can help women especially mother's to control the mood swings associated with hormones that trigger unpleasant thoughts. Would be nice

[@BFNLEO]

You should also check out dr joe dispenza where he talks about how our bodies can be addicted to the hormones and chemicals released by negative thoughts and how we can be caught up in it without even recognizing WHY or where they come from. Another way to look at it.

[@Spacersreturn433]

@@BFNLEO yes I've watched Dr Joe's videos very helpful. But here this situation is unique. Hormones aren't released cos of bad thoughts but I get caught up in bad thoughts cos if hormonal changes during the ovulation process. And I'm in it right now. But the thing is I'm aware I'm feeling this way cos of the hormones and still it's hard to get out of it. So I try to workout do deep breathing stuff. I'm able to do something about it when I'm awake by constantly being aware telling myself it's the hormones. But my problem when I'm waking up. And like Joe says when we wake up that's when the cortisol in our system is the highest. That along with the hormonal changes when I'm waking up I wake up with this rage that I've no control over. And I almost always regret that rage. And it comes out on my child or my husband. But because of all the work that I've done on myself in these past years. I quickly recover and I almost instantly feel bad about losing my temper at the only people who loves me and whom I love unconditionally. But I'm determined to get this whole hormonal shit under control. I think a lotta women will be in such peace if they knew this one thing especially after childbirth. That a lotta shitty feelings and thoughts we have is directly proportional to our cycle. And the first step towards healing from that Is becoming aware. I guess by continuously becoming aware during my cycle and not reacting or having emotional outbursts during the hormonal times will rewire my brain and make new neural connections to not have bad thoughts during the menstrual cycle Instead sit down and become aware and observe as my body prepares for the period to come. Either way I'm determined to get ahead of my body and take control. And it is absolutely possible cos I did it once. I smoked weed and was doing guided meditation and watched as my periods came and literally watched it. People neglect periods like it some small thing but it's a very spiritual thing. Not just for women. A woman's womb is scared. I think I'm the eastern parts of the world there are people with this wisdom about how powerful a woman is during her periods and how it generates the feminine energy. I wish there was more knowledge about this subject and help women feel more on control of themselves during their periods. And more mindful too. And thank you so much for replying to my comment. I appreciate it. Gratitude and lots of love❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@onthewingsofluv]

Oh, how I understand this. For some of us, hormones absolutely RULE us. I feel they have ruled me since their onset. They took away my ability to think, to know myself, to make rational decisions. They took so much from me even as they were giving me the children I adore and would give my life for. Hormone therapy just made it worse for me. I just about lost my life because of it. Now that my hormones are waning, I am beginning to feel more like ME again for the first time since I was about 12. I’m 54 now. I mourn the years I’ve lost, the me I have not even known, the decisions I made while under the influence of the drug called hormones. That rage you speak of…how often I have felt that. It would just wash over me and completely take over. It didn’t feel like I could choose differently. I was completely under it’s spell and out of control, hypnotized by it’s power and grip on me. I truly believe there are those of us that hormones just make crazy. I believe I am one of those.

[@user-cl6uj5bn2f]

Totally unrelated to the video...which was great by the way...but Lisa you look absolutely stunning in this video, your skin is glowing 🤩 what's your secret?

[@prithivichuhan]

It's worldly problem but nobody knows till now, I am Asian-Dutch work in famous museum style 5 star Hotel in Amsterdam. "How to do the work" got my attention as cheaking the rooms daily basis l find from 70 rooms to 50 have that book at the table. It surprised me

[@nataliechirino593]

Great interview! Thank you for the amazing content. What is the name of the book she mentioned about her friend with MS?

[@larasmith3076]

💙I love change but I am no stranger to self sabatoge

[@madameincza2205]

So me, but I'm here for it 🌻

[@larasmith3076]

@@madameincza2205 💙amen controlling your thoughts is easier said then done

[@lisaewald494]

Hi Lisa I really enjoy ur channel... one piece I can add to this is, I have dealt with medical condition with low vision and other medical... this can hold your energy low... I am a psychology major so I have learned to work with it.. Then my son had medical problems also so it kept me in that fear mode for years... but also love... so I found it has a lot to do with how you deal with it... and she’s right it takes a lot of INNER work! Great video!🎖❤️❤️❤️❤️🏝

[@outlanderr7448]

Every Man in the world was ever a child born in harsh environments that effect them,, women have capacity to change it cause they are emotionally strong then us.

[@amvorv2144]

Self DECIPLINEs and eat healthy living lifestyle in 24/7

[@flipflop6724]

Some people fool themselves into believing they've really changed when in fact all they're doing is suppressing their impulses and inclinations. That for me is not change, it's self-delusion. If someone has really really changed inside or changed a bad habit or a false belief about themselves their new way of behaving, reacting, feeling, or thinking would appear natural to them and occur automatically without conscious thought. For me personally, lasting change within ourselves often happens unconsciously. We get older, have experiences which affect and change us. But the change is not conscious. One day we realise when we look back: Oh, I don't react like this anymore, I don't think this way about myself anymore and so on ... Your approach id based on conscious awareness but what about such things as conflicting emotions within ourselves? Feelings can be very powerful and get in the way of change. It's strange that you don't take this into consideration and don't even mention anything about our feelings.

[@karlh8206]

Absolute gold! Thank you! Also great shirt Lisa

[@LisaBilyeu]

❤️❤️

[@rachelw6577]

Is this a repost? Or is this a new continued one?

[@LisaBilyeu]

It’s new ❤️

[@Dusty.brushes]

What if the system, the long term individual doesn't understand those verbal indication and make you feel little of yourself for those changes. I'm experiencing a lot of change in me over the past couple of years. Some people supported me in the best way possible, whereas there are people who made me feel worst about those changes which in long term gonna benefit both of us. I tried explaining to them but the conversations often bring my negative emotions in worst mean

[@amvorv2144]

That's the problem of human progress THOUGHTS and Human behaviour tHOUGHTS..

[@nahidochka954]

❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@larasmith3076]

💙Satan loves to give you distraction

[@amvorv2144]

You hurting of my feelings because it's easier to say and saying for you because you are not in my situations in that days wayback 2017.

[@shannanschisler9577]

I know Weedborn has solutions to most diseases.

[@amvorv2144]

You can't cannot say or sayings do that to the person that is reality happens and happenings on me by the words of sabotage? This is identified to your concepts? This is happens and happenings to me in reality life to feeling sabotage to someone else to put me in dangers and accusination of drug's in China Shenzhen to fightings alone to myself.

[@maq3009]

This stuff shouldn't be just for women. You gals need to teach our men better. The woman is smarter than the guy in most areas, If I'm being honest the real victims here are men in our society.

[@roadhousepress]

All this thinking about thinking. Talking is thinking out loud.

[@suesmith261]

She's far from calm.

[@GoldhartStudio]

It is FREAKING annoying that you use the word "FREAKING" so often. I do like your videos, but it is annoying to hear the word all the time.

[@susanlipkin2415]

I can't believe you don't know who Wayne Dyer is! How can anyone take you seriously with short shorts and your hair?

[@lisabilyeu8103]

So I don’t normally respond to messages that don’t help anyone but I did want to reply to this because I don’t think it’s healthy to put out this kind of negative hate. I have dedicated my life to trying to help people. If this video doesn’t help you then I totally respect that! But then don’t watch it or unsubscribe. But please do not come on this channel to just through hate and judgement. It is not kind or necessary for you have to tare someone else down when their intentions are to help others. There are so many women that need encouragement and that’s what this channel is.... WOMEN SUPPORTING WOMEN! Would you of come up to me in the streets and say such a cruel unwarranted comment to my face? I speak for myself and I feel it is my responsibility to speak on behalf of all the subs on this channel.... I draw boundaries on this channel and bullying is NOT accepted. Now maybe you have some issues you are working on and the emotions are surfacing. I don’t want to project. But if you are then know this is the channel that can and will support you! But again as I stated earlier, if your intention IS to just throw shade, I respectfully request you do not watch this content. From Lisa Bilyeu

[@victoriagame_4113]

@lisa show up for your younger self! #nobullying #womenofimpact #selflove

[@isquareu]

Constructive feedback is appreciated and usually welcomed, but I don’t understand your comment Susan...it’s not empowering or genuinely trying to understand another. It’s bullying. I don’t say this to push down on you, but this is a community of women lifting UP other women. No reason to tear anyone down. Maybe ask Lisa what EMPOWERS her by wearing her hair that way or dressing in certain clothing.

[@thegoldenchild76]

Really, Susan? Is that type of negativity necessary? Take a moment and examine the other comments on this interview and page. They are elevating and uplifting. And if it’s disagreeable, it’s constructive. You should try it sometime. It’s healthy. I come to this channel to see positivity and the beautiful act of women supporting women. Something we unfortunately tend not to see too much in our immature real world. And here you are muddying the clean water with useless criticism. Perhaps you should stay off this channel and work on yourself... or storm a Capitol or something.

[@actinglikeseals]

I love her hair and her shorts sooooooo....... someone taking Lisa seriously right here! 🙋🏽‍♀️

[@maralena6597]

Very happy 😍💋 💝💖♥️❤️

[@dailydoseofmedicinee]

Thanks❤