How to choose the right long-term partner

One of the most important decisions you could ever make is the person you choose to spend the rest of your life with. Yes - love is a choice, like any other part of our lives. Yet unlike our careers, our health and even our friendships, we tend to think that love and healthy relationships just happen. We find our soulmate, fall in love and live happily ever after. Right?
This thinking is why so many of us make this decision with blinders on - ignoring some of the most glaring red flags. We feel dazzled and excited. We get caught up in the thrill of falling in love. We overlook red flags that often become very real issues in the relationship, and can lead you down a path of pain, suffering and heartbreak.
In this episode of the Real Breakthrough Series, we’re going back to one of Tony’s most intimate and favorite events, Date With Destiny, where he works with participants on building extraordinary relationships. He shows us why love and passion are not the only things that matter when choosing your partner. Thrill and sensuality are two of the three important keys to passion, but for a successful long-term relationship, you also need shared values and goals.
Thrill and sensuality are intimately related to polarity, or the opposing masculine and feminine energies that give your relationship that “spark,” that powerful connection you feel in the beginning. You can leverage the principle of polarity in your own relationship or to help you find the right partner. It isn’t all you need, however.
In the episode, we’ll hear an example of when great polarity wasn’t enough. Tony talks to a young woman deeply in love with a partner whose goals are not aligned with hers: she wants children, he does not. She knows she needs to end it and find someone who shares her goals, but she is afraid of losing her partner and feels like a failure.
Tony explains why we must make a concerted effort to choose our partners consciously and provides expert tips for choosing a partner in the future. He even suggests the three most critical questions that we must ask ourselves when we are considering this important decision.
While it may not sound particularly romantic, Tony advises that you use the same questions as if you were hiring someone as an employee. You need to discover their goals and values, determine their top needs of the Six Human Needs and then evaluate team fit: if your top two needs are their bottom two needs, it’s not sustainable.
Love is not enough. It’s vital. And it’s what life partnerships are built upon. But in the end, it’s not enough. Because opposites may attract, but it’s those with similarities that bond. And if you want to build a lifetime partnership - you must remember that the right person and the right connection are everything. Attend Date With Destiny to put these strategies into action and transform your ability to find long-term love.
Date With Destiny is a six-day seminar designed to help participants live out their ultimate purpose by gaining absolute clarity on what matters most in their lives. Designed by the world’s #1 authority on personal growth - Tony Robbins - this event shows people what drives every behavior, thought, decision and emotion they experience. Participants will discover their true purpose, improve every relationship in their lives and design the life of their dreams as they fully reshape their destinies.
Date With Destiny is unlike ANY other event on the planet - it's Tony's favorite event because of the depth of transformation that occurs. During this intensive program, participants will eradicate destructive subconscious behaviors, create personal vision statements and use Tony’s proprietary 9 Elements of Impact System to get an overview of everything that influences the world they live in. Graduates of the program range from people like Grammy winner musician Melissa Etheridge to world-renowned dancer, choreographer, actor and singer Derek Hough.
Now available as an immersive virtual event, Tony Robbins’s Date With Destiny is drawing larger crowds than ever before as people seek to ignite their passions and take control of their lives once and for all.
Learn more about Date With Destiny: tr.tonyrobbins.com/virtual-dwd
Get valuable relationship advice: www.tonyrobbins.com/ultimate-...
Learn about the three keys to passion: www.tonyrobbins.com/love-rela...
Unlock the power of polarity: www.tonyrobbins.com/ask-tony/...

[@danielmahathir4001]

it is 31 dec 2020 as i stumble across this video again while having my now wife / soulmate (very blessed) sleeping bside me. i swear on my mothers name that i wrote this in my journal on 3 dec 2019. I begin counciously looking and found her on 7 dec 2019 (first date) and we got married on 17 mar 2020 during covid lockdown. i tot i share tat here so that everyone knows that action works. we have a baby on the way 6 months now. look forward to growing old together with her. All the best to everyone looking for your partner

[@amazingyear9042]

HOW did you find her?!

[@Shanefraser1]

0

[@ankukreja7]

Can you share the steps you took to find your life partner? What can we do?

[@NataliyaDuSoleil]

Love this! Thank you for sharing! Very inspiring! ❤❤❤

[@ShizaMunir-dc6iy]

​@@ankukreja7with the law of attraction.. what you think you become same what you are searching for you will found it some day. Wish you all the best

[@MikeBarron1]

Be with people who share the same vibe with you. Someone who can help you grow and be a better version of yourself.

[@applehacker3211]

I want to like this comment but I refuse to because it’s currently 💯

[@agnes4398]

Anen

[@MatthewCoast]

It's true... you have to align on the big things. Love is awesome but you have a head and a heart and you need to use both.

[@CoralBalmoral]

What are the big things... ? Ok, listening on....

[@Simplymeeka]

1. Can they do the job? Right person, right connection. 2. Will they do the job LONG TERM? In the beginning everyone can do a good job. (A) Are their goals aligned with the job. (B) Is their nature.. Good for the job 3. Are they the right team fit?

[@danielledallas1914]

Thanks for summarising the key take-always :)

[@thegabrieljulie]

Tony made a really great point here, the thing is to align your goal with that person

[@-whackd]

The problem is that beautiful young girls can hardly help you on your purpose. In fact, I think it's more important to talk to successful age 55+ men than women, if you care about your purpose.

[@nicola-socialmediasuccess8687]

Being with the right person chan completely change you experience of life!

[@GoldenHeartGirl907]

They're online just Google Tony Robbins six needs then order them in importance yo yourself and your partner

[@mariatineo4614]

@Nicola. I totally agree 100%. That will make you or break you!

[@lisskral7582]

I completely agree.

[@cleopetra87]

I agree .. Being with the wrong person has created the worse life for me.. I feel like stuck in the mud

[@itsdestinytv]

@@cleopetra87 you got this. Tony has tools and resources. Use them.

[@ash785lo]

Love is not enough. I've always told myself that even at 24. I'm 28 now. Hoping to find someone on the same page and mental wave length to build a future together ❤

[@rollercoaster359]

I've been experiencing the same issue. My past relationships were not on the same mental level. From a mentality standpoint, some of my ex girlfriends were closer than others, however, this still caused a disconnect. I am hoping one day to find a woman that is able to connect with me and display honor and integrity.

[@tempesttossed6029]

"Where is the failure in your love, if he loves you so much that he wants you to be happy by stepping away from a doomed relationship?" She feels like she failed because she couldn't "get him to want" to have kids. And she doesn't want to put it that way because it's underhanded and controlling.

[@sigiare01]

Loved this one. So much value Tony!

[@honeymoney23]

This was so good! And has me changing my way of thinking about my own relationship!

[@annakravets6195]

Wow, what an amazing conversation... I hope this woman meets the right man and creates a happy family

[@Paulfactor]

She did meet the right man. She said no to him at the beginning of their marriage and he says no to children now after she chose her own selfish pursuits. And now she is continuing on in her selfish nature and willing to leave her faithful loving husband... because he says no just like her. What a wretch. I hope this woman recognises her selfishness and responsibility, and become more honorable.

[@Mountainman1971]

@@Paulfactor I dont feel she was selfish by wanting to pursue her own goals on life before committing to children. Sacrificing your self doesnt lead to being a good parent.

[@amazingyear9042]

Paulfactor timing is everything...

[@Videpedia]

So the best way is to discuss all important details even before getting married, and try to find someone who is clear on what they want and need for their life. You don't want to spend years with someone who changes their mind on you after so many years. For life partner, if it's not good for one it's not good for both, PERIOD. Stop living in fantasy as life is reality. Be realistic, be true to life, be true to yourself.

[@helentaranaki3616]

My ex husband & I were together 8 yrs then got married..Throughout our relationship our engagement 'he' kept saying he couldn't wait for us to have babies..'The' very day on our wedding day, straight after we said our vows he said 'we will never have any babies'..my heart dropped, it broke in pieces that day..I stayed 4 yrs after that & no matter what I did he wasn't giving me babies..he asked me if I told you that before we got married would you have married me? I said no I wouldn't have..I tried, I left the marriage & divorced him..I have my 2 beautiful babies & my ex husband cried & wanted me to take him back..

[@Anna_Banana123]

He is a very sick man! Only thinking about himself and selfish to waste your time!

[@cor3944]

Not willing to have babies with you is not willing to have YOU. The spiritual essence of marriage is procreation.

[@BeingBrandy]

I feel like Tony was having this conversation with me....

[@shannonbarry6297]

Love is an action, not an emotion.

[@heather4089]

We can’t force others to do what we want just to please us. We need to respect others free will. Key is detachment , we believe we can’t live without the other . WRONG!

[@diehardpatriot3]

Truth

[@CLUTCH_R_NORRIS]

Love yourself first, then find that person

[@dawns3863]

He is doing what he wants an Living his life and traveling often. He has different priorities.

[@irisweber6469]

By now I don’t like the expression “I tried to love him unconditionally”. I find that often the people that mention this term a lot are just suppressing their expectations because they feel bad for having them. It’s not authentic.

[@bobbyferguson6790]

Yes it sounds so fake

[@fitforfreelance]

It's literally a condition

[@margogo1057]

True. If it’s unconditional the decision should be clear

[@manifestationmaven111]

There is no such thing as unconditional love 😅

[@dayanarosquete6826]

Love the way you see problems. thanks for this podcasts

[@SuperQdaddy]

Dont let someone pick you....go find the right similarities

[@veronykacruz]

This is the what everyone should know, when someone pick you you have to ask your self if you are truly interested in or just because they picked you

[@EadsB7002]

agreed. Rally take the time to qualify a person before even considering marriage. I made the mistake of going with someone who “picked me” ...he was/is a great man. But something has always been missing for me and it took me over a decade to realize what it really was.

[@blessedn4614]

And in the right similarities they also pick their similarities in you...

[@maryduffy2086]

So much wisdom, thank you for sharing. And great top two, hence why you have been together so long.

[@Captivatingndc]

Tony is on his second wife

[@amazingyear9042]

I was a nanny to 2 fun cute gorgeous little boys in my early early twenties. I loved them. I was GLAD to go home at the end of the day. I worked 8 hours and LOVED every minute. I decided 24 hours 7days a week for the next 50 years ( because you are ALWAYS a parent when you have kid!) was NOT for me. I believe a lot of people FANTASIZE about how great being a parent will BE ... until they ACTUALLY ARE one and realize HOW MUCH WORK IT IS. The numbers Do Not Lie... lots of divorces. Partly because of incompatibility like Tony says here but Also because people IMAGINE parenting to be different from what real life parenting actually presents!

[@ghostflames1501]

Imagination tends to misalign to reality the vast majority of the time. Happy you saw the reality for what it was. Those kids were lucky to have you.

[@SanctifiedLady]

So true! It’s extremely hard work and major sacrifice….not for the faint at heart

[@kingkang6877]

Plot twist: There is no right person and you will definitely marry the 'wrong person' so you just have to work it out.

[@relationshipcoachingforyouwith]

For me and my path in awareness . What I did to have happy relationship with my man.

[@ogbiedeblessed7184]

I really appreciate this Great Teaching Love been a continuous participant

[@xDaRk0psx]

2:23 for everyone trying to get to the juice

[@amazingyear9042]

great advice and from Sage too

[@GinAmber]

This video so good :)

[@priyankabrand]

Critical questions to ask ourselves before choosing the perfect husband/companion: 1. Can they do the job of being my husband? 2. Will they do the job long term as my husband? A. Are their goals aligned with the job of being my husband . Are you gonna have kids? B. Is their nature reinforced by the job of being my husband? 3. Team fit Top 2 needs of both ,my husband and I ,should be same - love and equal give n take ( examples )

[@Cult_Guru]

V nice! How would you go about assessing these esp when you’re in early dating phase?

[@rrrrrrraaaa9]

Haa aur didi aapko bhi samne flexibility, aur giving nature rkhna pdta hai as well as honesty bhi.Ek hath se kuch nhi hota.

[@a.k.4085]

@@rrrrrrraaaa9 ???

[@a.k.4085]

@@bsvmaxi ???

[@ghostflames1501]

Sharma, thank you for realizing that companionship is a two-way street. Modern women in America suffer from Disney Princess syndrome, thinking that the man must fully commit to her and that she is somehow the prize. She is not, and neither is he - the prize is the relationship the two create and blossom throughout their lives. That only works when they are both a good fit.

[@Daniel_L_R]

Would be awesome to see all the scene. To be like a video, to see the people.. would be easier to understand. Thank you

[@iknowwhatsup2880]

Failure is she needs to decide what she wants, children now with another man....or stay in this relationship and not have children. No guarentee he'll ever want kids. I like her honesty and the fact they she isnt trying to trap her husband...

[@dulugogikgo]

Amazing speak for good people

[@JemIsMyName-o]

This. Just in time for me.

[@CherylMuir]

"If you're looking to build a lifetime partnership, you must remember the right person and the right connection are everything." Yes, and - looking at why we're we're attracting morons to begin with is also critical #ProTip

[@ghostflames1501]

About attracting morons...think like a hunter. If the wrong prey is showing up, maybe you should change your bait. In the dating world, that means changing both your tactics and changing your hunting grounds. We all know where morons congregate, so don't go there. Go places where higher quality men/women are and look there for your quarry. Study and learn the patterns, figure out what the type of person you want will want themselves. If that's not a form of you that you're willing to be, maybe you should change what you are hunting altogether. I really wish people realized that sometimes, a moron is just what you want at this time in your life. If that's not what you want, then change yourself so you have a better chance to get what you want. I can't fish for a shark in a dried up riverbed, can't catch a polar bear in the Caribbean, or a bald eagle in a cave. They have their habitats. I can't use vegetables to catch a lion or raw meat to catch a gazelle, I need the right bait. Likewise, I can't find an intelligent woman who is dead set on marriage and being an amazing mother on Tinder or OnlyFans. I'm definitely not going to catch such a woman if I look like the Fedora milady dude but worse. Location, gear, bait, patience, and accept rejection. We attract morons because they're the easiest ones to catch and we're too lazy to correct our strategies to get anything better. Maybe that's just me, but I have my mermaid anyway.

[@mateosgago]

Damn. Well said

[@Questmanist]

Hi great video Where can i found out more about that "tunel" topic?

[@garbagekid09]

I read the book "the queens code". That book explains all the stages men go through.

[@Questmanist]

@@garbagekid09 Thank you for helping me Have a nice day

[@airicaxoxo]

@@garbagekid09 Do you know if the lady speaking alongside Tony is the author of the book?

[@garbagekid09]

@@airicaxoxo I don't know, sorry.

[@airicaxoxo]

@@garbagekid09 It's ok, thanks anyways.

[@edithquiah7782]

If he doesn't want kids, why would she want to adopt? That would still be a kid in the home and he doesn't want kids. Adoption should not be an option. He wouldn't be a dad to that kid.

[@arisn32]

Edith Quiah women younger than you now in days don’t want kids. And it’s the opposite that I’ve seen in 30 year old men. They want kids, their female partner is too busy wanting validation on ig, sc.

[@acharich]

@@arisn32 😅😅😅

[@msgirl01]

I think she was just saying that if he were just wanting to wait to have kids (rather than never) then she'd be OK w adopting.

[@radhikag3291]

Adoption is so much better. We are overcrowding the planet by producing more babies.

[@meiyokechan5697]

He may not in favor of adoption!

[@daiji5960]

Love is.. a space for the loved one

[@myles2019]

She loves him more than he loves her. My heart hurts for her.

[@alena1vlog474]

Those relationships Women never get to feel truly happy

[@meiyokechan5697]

She needs to wake up! Decide n make a choice.

[@ghostflames1501]

Are we watching the same video? He loves her, but won't change his position on something he considers a deal breaker. He doesn't want kids, but he doesn't love her because he's focused on the success of his career? It was her choice to be with a man who was still working towards success, that doesn't mean he loves her less. He's trying to make himself a better man, that has nothing to do with his love for her. If anything, she loves a version of this man that doesn't exist and not the man himself.

[@manifestationmaven111]

@@ghostflames1501 lol agree with you. I guess we all hear what we want to hear...I feel there was no issue in the love aspect for both but just on their wishes for kids, which ironically it don't even seem like he doesn't want kids full stop as once upon a time he wanted them! The lady talking seemed confused and was making up her own stories in her mind from what I heard, would have loved to hear the husbands pov!

[@lisalee2885]

Actions do speak louder then words. Come on the man doesn't want to be with her. Its all an excuse. He wants out. Sorry

[@WIZA327]

I think there's an issue with how girls think. I find a lot of women like to assume SOOO much about a man and what he's thinking, they over analyze everything. Sure, there are liars out there, but if you're with a man you completely trust and have found him to have integrity and good intentions through your relationship, you should trust his words more and don't put words in his mouth. I've had this issue with a couple girls and they end up cheating instead of talking out our problems because they have it set in their mind some crazy story they assumed was true without even trying to communicate it with me.

[@lisalee2885]

Scruffy you are so very right. Communication and being able to trust. You have to be open to trusting someone new. Past pains forgiven to do that and trust is to be built based on each others actions and intentions. All a journey 😄😄 I have had 1 man cheat on me twice. First time I broke up with him and nicely at that. Lol! Then he wanted fresh start. Tried again. And again he cheated. Sad cuz he kept saying he wanted us. If someone is bored or not ready to be committed that's OK. Just be honest. No one ever has to cheat. More respect for speaking your truth. Point is I healed and keep learning and one day the right guy will show. No hurry and no worry 😃😃 Have a great day 😁😁

[@WIZA327]

@@lisalee2885 Yes, that's unfortunate. There are people who will cheat just to cheat because maybe some power dynamic or because they like the thrill... I just feel like a truly working relationship REQUIRES trust, so while yes, watching someone's actions is important and being cognizant if they are practicing what they preach... but also I think giving someone the benefit of the doubt when they speak is important as well.

[@paulacardoso3881]

Thank you.

[@SybilMystery]

When he talks about the list of needs matching up. Like the top two needs matching etc. Is there a basic list of “needs” in a relationship? I’d really like to look at a whole list to try and figure out what my top needs would be.

[@CoCre8ors]

There’s a book called the five love languages which goes into depth on this bro I believe I’ve heard tony speak about the book before could be wrong but powerful read

[@tokolohobooysen1625]

1) Certainty/Security 2) Uncertainty/ Variety 3) Significance 4) Love 5) Growth 6) Contribution I saw these on a different video of his, so I think he was referring to these 6.

[@darsezhang611]

@@tokolohobooysen1625 thanks for sharing. certainty and variety are an interesting pair.

[@practicalphilosophy9031]

just got inspired to pick my nose thank you.

[@mirandaoliver-ul5yi]

You can love yourself you can love friends and family

[@annee5582]

Yes I do view personal relations as business relationships. Very similar. But If we know and understand that everyone grows and then makes excuses of how they have out grown a relationship. Example like a career change 😂. In a lifetime a person changes their careers at least 3 times(usually more 😅). Most personal relationships examine overall compatibility and business relationships are able to remain compatible through an understanding of goals and outcomes. But I say you can work just about anything out (within reason) with any two reasonable individuals. It’s possible as long as it’s not toxic already. Love is not the goal. It’s just a feeling.

[@brendacampbell8438]

I suspected my husband always texting a lady on his phone , We’ve been married for 18 years, we’ve both been happy together until recently when he switched side and I found out he has been cheating .I explained my story to a colleague at work then she introduced me to this genuine hacker, Darkwebprohacker who gave me access to his phone , I had complete access to his phone right on my own device and I could see all his activities for the past 2 years and also have access to new notifications, his text messages, Facebook messages,location, call logs, and I found out my husband was also flirting on dating sites..I love my husband a lot and I still don’t understand why he betrayed me, I have been a good hardworking wife and never for once cheated on him, tracked him down and found out he was always going to sleep in another woman’s house with me thinking my husband is always at work for night shift. You can contact this great hacker who helped me found out the truth about my husband at darkwebprohack(at)gmail com or Whats app [phone] or text and call them directly on the same number. They helped me get access into his phone without even touching his phone.I have enough evidence against my husband and I am thinking of Filing for divorce.I want advice if I should give him another chance or let go ? We have 2 kids together. it's a painful feeling but I believe things happen in life it comes as it goes, as it says what doesn't kills makes you stronger..

[@cristy6513]

I think the fact he kept it from her for 9 years is a red flag

[@makeciadortch2771]

I like this, it makes sense

[@Raina430]

He’s so spot on. Most people chose based on feelings, as though that’s all that matters.

[@Raina430]

Mike Tiwaz Right. We have a culture of struggling, grown children, often raised by confused, harried adults, overworked and stressed, and by the media. Romance is one of the drugs they sell, the fantasy bond.

[@joannadziokan3267]

To me it sounds like that husband doesn't want kids with HER.

[@AIRBORNE916]

Joanna Dziokan it just sounds like she wanted to play the time game and now that the clock is ticking it's his problem now. She put off kids when he was open to them when she was younger. Now that she is older she wants them NOW.

[@rubberduckyconvoy2723]

Choosing a partner is not easy from our close or distant surroundings. But, you need to choose according to important criteria. 1. We were all raised in different families, but there are high life principles for all the same, if not, do not look even on this person. 2. How often do you want to saying from deep of your heart, thank you, for anything in your marriages. 3. What do you want to do, and how to spend time when you are with a partner, how much each of you is ready to give yourself honestly. 4. It is important my partner shares my views on politics, and (let it not twist you into a knot), on race. What everyone inspires in society is fake, there is reality and we are different. 5. Are you ready, and your partner, when you together at home, music throughout the house that both of you like, this is important. 6. Are you ready to give yourself the same strength to personally walk out with children, this is important. 7. The hygiene of your bodies, shower in the morning and at bedtime, how clean you are. 8. You are both leaving the table, immediately wash your hands of the remnants of food, or just wipe with a napkin, this is important. 9. Are you ready to endure the snoring of a partner in your master bedroom, or you intend to slip into another bedroom, be honest to discuss these issues. 10. The sex is vital for you, or so-so, how important for you to affection, or short sex. 11. Are you ready to listen to each other, and discuss everything honestly. The points can go on forever, because life is full of surprises.

[@bijalsavla9086]

Beutiful amezing thank you sharing such nice lights ..

[@a.k.4085]

The audio is not great half way through. Is there a yelling child in the background? It's distracting. All that, Tony is nailing it right here. He is so real here and handles it well.

[@peterfeysa]

Does anybody know who Tony’s co-host was? She’s amazing, love to see if she has any books. Making decisions like these requires a tool kit. Imagine the world where people had the power and skill of making choices? 👌🏼🔥

[@erinlucas2705]

It’s his wife Sage 💜

[@erinlucas2705]

I’ve looked for books from her before and haven’t found any (would love to know if you do). But they have a few courses together which are great!

[@legacytrainer4242]

Where is this clip and training from?

[@Royalnaxos]

I have to love myself more and work on myself and deal with some demons inside, after that I hope to find someone and share the life together.

[@coolhanddxtr]

You can read all the things he’s listing and more in Ray Dalio’s Principles book, which you can apply to your love your life and other aspects of your life

[@blakechinn5792]

Ray got them from Tony

[@FeelGoodWithin]

Yep Marry someone who match ur values 😝😍 Thts why it's so imp to ask ques 😝 😍

[@docharris6608]

FeelGood Within what happens if that person changes their values 180 degrees? Should you remain married?

[@gbharan265]

@@docharris6608 Values can evolve over a period of time as our own awareness of self and the world around us expands but it can't change 180 degrees in a short while. If that happens what it means is that what you understood as their values at that time is not the reality. It is for this reason that we should always "Pay less attention to what people SAY and instead pay complete attention to what people DO". What people do consistently over a period of time is always a much more reliable indicator of their true values.

[@gbharan265]

@@docharris6608 Whether you should remain married is a deeply personal choice. You might want to have a calm, authentic, non-blaming conversation with your other half with a completely open mind on specific areas of conflict between both of you and see what she/he feels and has to say.

[@allysoncollicott7732]

So true

[@kasiag4443]

Doc Harris Ml

[@adrianaramirez5217]

What is the tunnel?

[@AddieWagenknecht]

How about the situation where you marry someone and 10-15yrs into the marriage the persons beliefs/values entirely change6/flip

[@heather4089]

I know someone like that and still there after 25 years cheating on his spouse all the time.

[@JSamad]

Sadly it's a risk that has to be taken when you get into a relationship. There are no guarantees that your partner won't rip your heart to pieces no matter how long you've been together.

[@manifestationmaven111]

Happens a lot

[@4everu984]

Partnership that is healthy is a corrective emotional experience.

[@jeanlouislaura]

Thanks for your Mentorship

[@deniceactypis9435]

Excellent

[@somedeletedchannel7684]

Huge topic missed. She said they have infertility! That is the real underlying issue. Maybe he doesn’t want someone else’s kids or a donor eggs kids. Men are very sensitive about this. I bet he wants to give her kids but can’t and therefore he is setting her free in love.

[@ASHKN190KW]

Are you with the right person Tony ? Dean graziosi lol

[@gckostakis1]

how do you deal with a partner WHOSE DESIRES ARE ALWAYS CHANGING??? i keep giving her what she wants, she didnt want kids and family then she wanted kids and family i gave her a kid now she wants independecnce and freedom but wants a part time family she wanted a man by her side because she never had a man committed to her then she hooked me to always be by her side cause i put her first and gave up a lot of my life and now she discarded me and blames me for not wanting me anymore HOW DO U DEAL WITH THIS and now have a poor child stuck in the middle????

[@naureenm4082]

I would suggest u figure out your top values and live by them. As much as women love to fly, they also wish to be led by their man. Be you. Live by your values. Prioritize her but live your life. Dont loose yourself in pleasing her. Thats a recipe for disaster. And if u can, go to therapy for both of u.

[@missmara3756]

She sounds narcissistic tbh.

[@arianabdolahy8276]

Read David Deida The Way of The Superior Man

[@AMIGASTV]

I have this issue 2.. certainty is the bottom, Is boring when only the man try to please, where you are 100% sure you can do anything and he still will be there, is boring, nothing more boring than a man that agrees 100% with us. I feel a little bit excited when I see the man I´m with is desired by other women, I get a bit jealous, but I like the feeling, coz makes me want the guy even more.

[@amazingyear9042]

not everyone feels the same...

[@rhythmicleadership9574]

I constantly point out this to my those who purchased my book: "When you are walking and working in a rhythmic leadership mode, you have clearer thinking and a sharpened mindset that ignites your purpose, passion, and priorities."

[@organizer14]

Where do people will questions with the offer mentioned in the end of 5day challenge

[@georgeraptis1789]

There's no such thing as the right person you have to have forgiveness in your heart to make things work out nobody's perfect God made me different than every other soul on this planet and made you different than every other soul on this planet so it's in the forgiving of one's actions we do the best with what we know

[@cor3944]

That doesn’t apply to narcissists or sociopaths. With them it never will work out. The idea of to work it out is the biggest mistake you can ever make.

[@dizzyh]

1. Can they do the job? 2. Will they do the job well long term? 2.1 Are their goals aligned with the job? 2.2 is their nature reinforced by the job? Does the job help nurture their goals and values? 3. Team fit > if your top two needs are their bottom two needs, its not going to work Hw: 1. Find out their order of 6 needs 2. Find out yours 3. See if they’re a good fit for each other

[@iamtuesdayrose]

This woman is confused. How can you open up the convo by blaming him and saying he doesn’t want kids so you have to separate (but you’re heartbroken) and then drop that you told him YOU were unsure about kids when he wanted them and has abandonment issues. Sounds like his intuition is more on point and he’s got his life together and wants to right the wrongs of his childhood through having an amazing family but not with a crazy lady. Girl bye 👋🏽

[@Dr23rippa]

15:10 This is where women are actually meaning to bring something else up not what she actually said you can hear her bring up loads of other excuses. 16:12 when all else fails go to stage 3 emotional and cry. She sounds all over the place and is hiding something. Where is the guys side? Tony asks her what is her question and generally she didn't have a question. But more a statement she feels like she failed. As Tony states how can you be together for 7+ years and not be clear where your partner stand on having kids...

[@saggeedt9036]

I don’t usually watch TR content but damn, he’s a great listener and knows how to get through on the same wavelength with those he’s trying to help

[@celiaferreira2028]

Aww where's the whole video. I wanted to hear about the lady's dilemma with her military husband

[@albertodeulofeu5277]

That’s funny. So when she didn’t WANNA have kids, it’s ok. He stays. But when he CANT have kids, she wants to go. “If he really loves me he’d do this for me”. That’s like her saying “since I really love him, I’ll deal with not having kids”.

[@buddhaneosiddhananda8499]

Use head and heart together...

[@ximenakelley]

What's "the tunnel"?

[@prk5339]

How, where can we get more on Tony's training and material?

[@neelonghunglow]

Order Tony's books. "Unlimited power" and "awaken the giant within" both can be purchased online through Amazon.com it will be the best $15 you ever spent...what I learned, and more importantly what I practiced, helped me make it through stage four b cancer...seriously invaluable.....

[@Matthew8473]

This is truly seminal work. A book with aligned topics was a transformative moment. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint

[@VS20158]

I didn’t understand the part where tony says: it’s not the person you hire, it’s....”?

[@brent2424]

...... it's the person you dont fire.

[@kvtnation6972]

Communication. Please

[@des1180]

I’m not sure this answered the question

[@stephenkolostyak4087]

...how did they meet? Doesn't matter; so they can have no kids, maybe have kids, or separate romantically on amicable terms... are the first two really even choices?

[@l-train7876]

She doesn’t answer Tony’s questions🤦🏼‍♀️

[@jamesboccuzzi2840]

What is this “plane going down” analogy?!

[@mrgray3291]

what do they mean by he's in the tunnel?

[@AMIGASTV]

Now, about this case, is clearrrrrrr the guy is not in love with her anymore. Is not that he doesnt want have kids, he doenst want have kids with her!!!!

[@kendalladaramola]

Don't believe he will be happy with you leaving him because of this. He might see it as you not loving him enough. It's really hard.

[@jared9962]

Having kids is a deal breaker. Sucks for the both of them.

[@katiefitbrit]

I wonder what she did and where she is a year on?

[@cplunk76]

But what if our top values/needs change during the relationship???

[@EadsB7002]

I’m living this exact scenario. It’s really hard. At least the couple referenced in this video supposedly has attraction/polarity. I l’ve never had that with my partner... he is willing to compromise and make changes in order to save our relationship. But for me, something was amiss/fundamentally wrong to begin with...therefore I’m really really afraid that remaining (for me) would be settling. 😣 I’m afraid that if we never were in love/ I never was attracted from the start, that the chances I ever will be are slim to none. If anyone can contribute to this or has been in a similar situation, advice is welcomed.

[@MultiSwimming123]

slp2007 I was in the same position 8 months ago. I just wanted different things in life. If you think you would be settling if you stayed it’s because it true from your perspective. It’s tough but leave the relationship. I made that decision, one of the hardest to go through with - but my life has never been better and that’s because I am not staying in something that didn’t have me flourish.

[@EadsB7002]

Thanks so much for your input. It is appreciated. It’s been rare for me to get any on my particular situation, so I’m thankful when I do. I’m glad to hear that you feel you made the right decision. It’s as though I know deep down I probably should leave my situation, but I just haven’t been able to pull the trigger in the physical realm. I feel like I shut down emotionally long ago in my marriage. He is such a wonderful person... that’s why I married him. Not because of what “we had together”/our connection. It’s been so hard to realize and admit that. 😔 after all these years. But I yearn for more. What helped you to finally make that change? And did you end up finding a deeper connection/true love?

[@MultiSwimming123]

@@EadsB7002 My guy was an absolutely amazing guy. But we had different viewpoints in life. My emotional distancing to him *while in the relationship* started to happen when I constantly felt unheard or not understood. From then on i started shutting down in arguments and allowing him to win. And in being in an unfulfilling relationship - i started getting depression. It wasn't until then did i realize the reason for my depression is BECAUSE i was in a relationship that should have been done a long time ago. I decided in that moment - that even tho it will hurt the other person, i will be hurt as well, if i had stayed. Itsthe hardest decision because its not like u can just leave and no one is effected. But you will be dead inside, if you know that this isn't right for u but you still stay. I promise you, it was hard for me, but I am through it now. And happier than ever.

[@MultiSwimming123]

and to answer your question, yes i did find better. Not that my first guy wasn't great, but because he was not the *right* one for me.

[@valerierobertson8303]

What do they mean by the husband being in the tunnel?

[@InBetweenFlights]

Focused on his purpose and his life’s journey

[@victorfinngall3911]

She is all over the place.

[@Sushia86]

Righttt she got me so confused 🤷🏾‍♀️ seems like she started lying about some details as soon as Tony caught trying to play the victim card. Then she started using words she thinks would make her look better in the eyes of Tony. Per example when she said she didn’t want kids initially because she focused on giving to people and her business and was happy functioning at a higher vibration... It’s like a person who meets their favourite author and they will cite every possible book they heard that author mentions during interviews just so they can pretend to relate. Anyway there’s definitely 2 sides to this story!!!

[@nakiflo]

It is hard to get what her point is, she has a lot of emotions of her situation she can’t even explain it clearly. 🙁🥺

[@irishopkins5248]

Yooo I said the same thing! Like at 14:00 in the convo when he called her out on her no giving all the information now the husband has a fertility issue, he was abandon, he wanted kids I didn’t at first. The girl sounds like she is no being honest. We the people need dude’s side.

[@lip1551]

She sounds like an emotional manipulator - victim mentality. I think it would be the best for him to find someone new, someone who’s goals align with his.

You tought that it was She but it was me Dio!!

[@MeeshoV2]

16:30 this part really confused me.

[@theANSWER4MVP]

Well he doesn't want children but he loves her and wants her to be happy... she wants children and that would make her happy...so he loves her so much that he is willing to step away for her to have children with somebody else because he knows how important that is to her.

[@acharich]

@@theANSWER4MVP 😅😅😅

[@lisaperez8276]

She is the best

[@dvez7542]

I don't need a "life partner". Went through that and I say Fuck that shit! Being treated like crap and resented by people I loved, I finally have my blessed solitude to to stay on my purpose (the arts and other interests) without some demanding pterodactyl betraying and breaking my fucking balls. Living life on your terms and being a man who does what the fuck he wants is the best way to go. Life partner? Give me a break. No thank you. I found my peace and anyone who enters my domain better respect that. Also, I live by the Golden Rule which is something no one talks about and which is a very important part of human interaction. Please!

[@stefanilekic581]

But love is not a job , maybe we should have similar interests in life but it is an comparable love and job

[@kimgordon3695]

#Hire #Value #Connect #LongTerm #Goals #🌐

[@sabrinajolie2465]

Advice starts at 2:25 Your welcome

[@Feelization]

✨🙏✨🌷💜💜💜🌷✨ So Good.

[@margarita0422]

He’s only thinking of himself not her within his journey... why does she have to hold, he said he didn’t want kids after being with her for a longtime

[@oldordead1411]

After 3 divorces, I wish I stayed in the tunnel.