How To Connect With People If You Have Anxiety

[@SilverW01f]

"...parents who were physically present, but emotionally absent." Ahh. There it is.

[@librimix]

Time of the video when that's said?

[@InconsistentContent]

Same

[@Lessenjr]

Librimix 2:30 ish

[@No_timezone77]

Relatable

[@louharvi]

oof that hits hard

[@minnesotawelit]

Sometimes Anxious people also have hatred for sand

[@hexazalea1793]

can you blame them? its corase its iritating and it get everywhere.

[@googleuser1225]

@@hexazalea1793 ya

[@Mr.Voysey]

MinnesotaWeLit not soft like your skin ✋🏼

[@jebes909090]

I recommend moving to the high ground

[@CommandoIvan]

As someone with an anxious attachment, can confirm. Sand sucks

[@bajiraosingham9495]

I thought I was funny, turns out I'm just avoidant.

[@paulbrooks539]

I experienced the same thing while watching this video. Here I was thinking I had a great sense of humor! Turns out, I'm just avoidant.

[@morrighanwermarn-arnburg7333]

fearful

[@yisun1725]

chandler

[@popularloner5282]

Facts🤣🤣🤣

[@dacrammers2594]

Hahaha you thought wrong!!

[@tysonq7131]

Reasons to be jealous of Captain America: [ ] Good looks [ ] Manly physique [ ] Super strength [X] Healthy childhood

[@30cal23]

this hit me hard

[@Sally-uu3yt]

Yo rogers was bullied contantly for his height wtf

[@tysonq7131]

@@Sally-uu3yt I’m going off the video, I don’t watch Marvel movies.

[@hj2479]

@@Sally-uu3yt Yes but he also had bucky to be in his corner. Bucky was a good fighter and a supporting friend and basically a brother to steve. Not everyone has that.

[@Maelstrom2077]

ouch.

[@Obi-Wan_Kenobi]

I don't have a love style because attachment is against the Jedi Code.

[@griever2017]

Yes you do, remember the Mandalore war just after meeting Qui Gon

[@Obi-Wan_Kenobi]

@@griever2017 If you are referring to Satine, I am afraid our relationship was greatly exaggerated. To be clear, I was never in love with the Duchess. Love takes time and I only knew her for a bit on Mandalore before I left. Our lives moved in different directions after that. We were friends by that point nothing more.

[@prestondoan6893]

Anyone else read it in Obi-Wans voice😂😂

[@aadityamurali18]

You seem very attached to the high ground though

[@jeffrenjr]

@@aadityamurali18 👏🏽😂

[@twixdakat1135]

How poetic ... Tony avoids commitment then builds a suit of armor

[@comfortablydoomed6280]

And the Cap’n’s shield...

[@twixdakat1135]

It's securely strapped to his wrist LOL

[@jaykelley103]

Yeah that's actually really fucking good symbolism. Maybe I haven't been giving these marvel movies enough credit

[@diegol5802]

SUPER FISHER LMAO

[@PrincessWhatsername]

@@saintsfps5348 for real. I always try to explain to people the actual depth of these characters and their stories and interactions if you look past the Disney campiness. Plus, I think a lot of people skipped around on the movies so they never got the FULL picture that comes when you've actually seen them all and in the order of release. I never cared much about comics but I genuinely want to start reading marvel comics becuase I fell so much in love with all the characters.

[@LilSayo]

“thankfully the fearful type is extremely rare” *sweating* haha y-yeah very rare

[@Aethuviel]

He also said 2%, so about 1 in 50.

[@Blockheadfun]

Welcome to the party pal!

[@starsgalaxy140]

Hellooo my fellow fearful people!

[@thedankmemelord5215]

Yea, I think that's why I can't form romantic relationships, and why I never have

[@hodgindaylon]

@JT sounds like you don't know much of what any of them are it's hard to follow poorly punctuated and not very accurate especially if you go by the book

[@Youbeentagged]

I love how everyone here is either an avoidant or fearful, because the other 2 are busy in their relationships

[@HenriettaP]

I’m anxious.

[@generaldream6206]

I don't even know why I'm avoidant but I am... I would say my childhood wasn't missing parents and they were emotionally there but WTH

[@AryanSingh-fg3oc]

I’m a mix of all of them and also a little crazy

[@OMGSHEENA]

Nah I used to be an anxious but am now much more secure. I'm happily married and watching this while folding laundry 🤣

[@missenvi]

anxious!

[@jarjoevis]

Me: Oh i'm for sure avoidant Me: Oh well maybe i'm anxious. Video : Fearful type is the some of the first and second Me: Uh oh

[@liighterspoppow5152]

Haha just literally did the same thing Oh fuck . Conclusion according to video: seek professional help 😐

[@sungod1141]

Joe Jarvis SAME

[@pineapplegirl4535]

Joe Jarvis gahhh ik same now I’m scared

[@azraelthecasul4882]

Well... Shit.

[@malvikasaran9454]

Same. And it’s terrifying.

[@HumansOfVR]

*_The reason many people in our society are miserable, sick, and highly stressed is because of an unhealthy attachment to things they have no control over. I do animations on personal development stop by if interested_*

[@michaeljensen4650]

Namely Toxic people.

[@0815Snickersboy]

100% agree A lot of people are blaming their past for their present situation

[@davidengvall3902]

Deep shit right there

[@prinstyrio0]

I never quite realized this a couple of years back, but it's quite true. The friends I've met who's appeared the most destructive and toxic to other people (despite being very nice to me as I've been nice to them), seem to do so when things don't go as they expect it, that they don't have control or get what they want. They get frustrated at things, drink a lot, has depression and gets on the bad side of people, often the topic for behind-the-back gossip. I'm glad I feel I learned early on to never live that way, I came to accept that a lot of attachments I had I couldn't control nor should I. I always preferred being adaptable to rigid and stubborn, as the saying goes "flow like water" and in a way I can welcome change than fear losing the past. There's always bad and good moments, both will come and pass, however small or big they may be, and there's no point in getting stuck chasing happiness nor escaping sadness, both will come and pass, it's best to be content with how things goes and take it from there. Ofcourse you could easily take my words out of context, to see the extreme and bad side in those words, I'm not perfect nor a saint, but I've never had many internal struggles or torments with myself nor felt I've had the same with people around me, which in turn makes me feel better too. I feel there's a merit to that. Being adaptable and bendable doesn't mean you have to be a push over or "wimp", nor that relishing in change means you need to ruin good relationships or get tired of them, as well as it doesn't mean you have to stop striving for happiness or dealing out happinnes. But that's one of the big lessons in life, imo, to find balance within yourself and those around you, take things in moderation and as they come, instead of leaning too much to any extreme or ideal life you think you should have.

[@derek9153]

Correct.

[@FlamboyantInsomniac]

Avoidant gang, but like, a casual gang, no need to get wierd about it.

[@dr.plague6897]

im avoiding the avoidance gang

[@sunleo6161]

Avoidant and anxious

[@WackadoodleMalarkey]

What up fam! Cool, cool. Aight ima head out.

[@Griffhuth]

Macho Supremo sup

[@zafiruzoma6234]

What? Wym don’t be weird!

[@solaire7046]

I'm a hardcore avoidant since like you said my dad wasn't there emotionally, no one talked to me about girls etc. What i did and am doing which is helping me very much is theatre. It really pushes me out of my comfort zone in every way possible and allowed me to actually not be afraid of what other people think of me and acting really is a great way to practice difficult emotions. I highly recommend this to anyone that sees this comment.

[@courtneymalkin1225]

I freaking love theatre and It’s my dream but for so many deep fears inside me don’t gives me possibilty to open up , and it’s not only in the large audience but with every single relationship with person

[@solaire7046]

@@courtneymalkin1225 you need to.. You need to just take that first step... I know you can. For any embarrassment that might occur, you'll be ten times prouder of yourself. Things are always going to be challenging, but at least then you'll have gained confidence as your ally. You CAN do it.

[@courtneymalkin1225]

@@solaire7046 Thank you so much 💜🔆

[@dontforget3113]

​@@solaire7046 "Things are always going to be challenging." In other words, you will fundamentally never change your attachment style. Just become better at compensating. We are who we are, my friend, and at some point, it's better to own it and play to the strengths of the avoidant - stability in crisis - than to beg for the acceptance from secure types or vow to become better. There are strengths and weaknesses to every attachment type; honestly, that's the main reason I do not agree with the majority of these personality type assessments on youtube. They all insist that if you're not secure, you need to become secure. But I don't think people should try to change in that sense, I think they should learn what type they are and work within the boundaries of that type to become more balanced. If someone else cannot accept you for who you are, it is not worthwhile to make long-term commitments to them in the first place, because no matter how good things may seem, you will always be living an illusion, and one where you constantly accept the short end of the stick to maintain the status quo of another. To change on an essential level how you connect with others is just not realistic. I believe it is actually impossible, or at the least, supremely unhealthy, because these attachment styles are deeply ingrained by upbringing and cannot be revoked without the annihilation of motivation and all self identity. In my opinion, you are setting yourself up for martyrdom with that kind of thinking, which as I'm sure you're aware is a dangerous predisposition of our type. Throwing yourself headlong into the world of the secure, desperately desiring acknowledgment, is not a sure path to growth. Furthermore, and on a more personal note, I do not think you should be so quick to apologize for your essential nature. There are benefits to be had from regulating carefully one's emotions, after all, and this is a truth other types ignore at their own peril. After all, Stoicism is what keeps the world from collapsing in times of crisis. But, like a warrior in times of peace, avoidants in neurotypical settings must bide their time and energy to await tasks worthy of their ability and benefiting of the ones they love. After all, the secure is already secure, the neurotypical is already typical. Let them be. And let's all just take a moment to remember who beat Thanos. Because I think we all know it wasn't Captain America. It was Tony Stark. Much like that fictional hero, whose distance afforded him time and the perspective necessary to overcome a cosmic threat, real life avoidants, with their similar predispositions to distant, calculating observance and sacrificial exertion develop paradoxically but inevitably a deep affinity for the working of emotion and the power to master and guide empathy, in themselves and in others. Above and beyond, by far, the perspective of a secure, indeed, like channeling the Infinity Stones themselves. For, as children born into bliss, the secure type lacks necessary experience to empathize with those survivors who have battled their way up from the dark depths of neglect. Rather than viewing secure types as the standard of transformation, I view them as children in need of protection and guidance. In other words, secure types are who I fight for, but not who I want to be. It is complicated, and avoidants must learn as much as they teach, much as adults must always be humbled by their children. Because the world needs visionaries to secure peace and to create new order, an order in which all types can thrive and grow. And I believe this is a responsibility, more than any other, that falls to the lot of the avoidant. Nevertheless, even as we monitor emotion and keep it under control, without emotion entirely, we cannot build a firm foundation of resolve to do what must be done. One of my favorite quotes from entertainment comes from Kentaro Miura's Berserk: "The power to be with someone and the power to protect them is not always the same thing." I think the primary difference between avoidance and secure types lies in this statement. Secure types would rather be with the ones they love, to provide for them, to make memories with them, to experience life with them. They will fight to defend their circle, of course, but because of their limited perspective, they sometimes lack the necessary detachment to make sacrifices or to see the bigger picture. Avoidants, by contrast, would rather protect the ones they love, even if that means an inability to be with them. Indeed, in many cases, this is precisely the lesson they had modeled to them by their own parents, who sacrificed their time to have and raise them, even if that ultimately meant they were not able to directly invest in them. Why should that sacrifice be frowned on? Should it not be instead passed forward to the next generation? Avoidants can be vigilant watchers, willing to do what needs to be done to see those they love protected, and I think that is a wonderful thing.

[@markmessi9020]

@@dontforget3113 too long my guy. I'm sure you have a wealth of knowledge on the subject but ppl aren't gonna read that. Thanks for sharing tho

[@TryoutAnimations]

Thumbnail: Me: Anakin is my favorite avenger

[@1COMODIN9]

@HalaL true...

[@zexion378]

haha

[@taliajung1553]

Fighting to save the world from the greatest enemy of all: Sand

[@paulshaw8446]

Godly comment man, Genuinely made me laugh.

[@polaroidandroidjeff6383]

Me:Yes

[@codymcgrew4015]

“Based on this knowledge, Which attachment style do you think you are??” “Yes”

[@darellarocho5729]

xD

[@franklinlara1831]

Is there an option for all of the above

[@jbaguam80]

Majority Secure but with occasional Avoidance. Good video on the topics discussed. Ive adopted a life of self reliance and assigning affirmations to conducting my life style in ways that I choose to excell. Continuosly learning, improvement, accepting loss/failure as normal fair to an eventual success, patience, confidence. Took some time to understand but I understand its a continuos development to becoming fulfilled.

[@taurusDIVA1979]

lol you COMPLETELY made my morning with this comment....:-D

[@michaelrisner5540]

Cody McGrew I'm anxious, and fearful

[@bryceflanigan4636]

Me: im not avoidant Also me: stops watching after 2 mins.

[@bigboibubba5528]

Would the threat of losing your soul get you to finish the video? Asking for a friend

[@nickspades69]

@@bigboibubba5528 Most underrated comment award goes to...

[@1800betterinblack]

bryce Flanigan Lmao

[@kkibela]

Well that's awkward... Just did same

[@GodBlessDJT977]

bryce Flanigan 🤣🤣

[@SednovaNova]

Rule 101: Never tell a significant other you can't live without them even if you are married. Instant relationship decline incoming.

[@samualcalnan4774]

What are the first 100 rules

[@SednovaNova]

@@samualcalnan4774 101 reference to the term "beginner or introductory"

[@samualcalnan4774]

@@SednovaNova I know I'm just jokin

[@m.a.156]

It's not unfixable if you said that before

[@crazyjoeshorts5256]

It is ok to say that they complete you, or that they make your life more fulfilled in such a way that they understand they are cherished.But forcing the other party into a position of being the sole source of your happiness is deadly.

[@joostvisser8537]

*describes avoidant* That seems like me *describes anxious* Wait... That also seems like me *describes fearful* Oh for goodness sake

[@sak54]

describes secure Yeah... that's not me

[@Happygirlalwaysnomatter]

😂😂☠️☠️🤙🏼🤙🏼for real

[@SimpleAmadeus]

Fearful is a mix of the negative parts of the first two, so that makes sense.

[@christinascanlon9677]

Lol me too

[@davidsavage519]

Same lmao

[@HMMadsen]

Wait, so Anakin's creepy and obsessive character was intentional? *MINDBLOWN*

[@Ziggerath]

bandwagon haters would have you believe otherwise but almost everything in the prequels that people hate on was intentional and has a logic consistent with all the characters and lore.

[@CheshireCaddington]

@@Ziggerath I will preach Phantom Menace Binks as the best plot twist we never got until I die.

[@sanjayraju988]

Honest trailers

[@spongebobsucks12]

Prequels werent that bad, only the first one.

[@valhar2000]

There had to be a reason he turned into Darth Vader.

[@iisuperstarii7310]

The fact that you could make this video with examples of unscripted little behaviours shows how good all these actors were at embodying their characters. And as always: great video! Very informative!

[@luzpueblalara4128]

Absolutely :v it seems art it's not that worthless after all :D

[@timesmight3922]

Doesn't look like they acted though

[@seigfried3682]

More like the writters

[@RyanlovesTh]

@@seigfried3682 Both

[@seigfried3682]

@@RyanlovesTh nah

[@endm_]

“Tell someone you love them and look them in the eye.” Me: no thank you

[@HenriettaP]

I love you 😳

[@subhradipporel285]

@@HenriettaP I love u too

[@generaldream6206]

ive been emotionally aviodant with everyone just so I don't have to say that or express any emotion at all

[@netecrivernetecassassins2945]

@@generaldream6206 👁️💋👁️ I love you

[@smcv8365]

Careful about the expression though, just in case you end up looking confrontational...🤣🤣🤣

[@Kenseiblades]

This video really just showed me how skilled of an actor Robert Downey Jr really is.

[@BREAKENSTEIN]

and how well all these characters are written.

[@Hey-jw3dm]

uh huh

[@BlargeMan]

@@dwzenix7954 no, but he was extremely well written in The Clone Wars

[@nicokaine250]

robert is a good actor, but he isnt a real skilled actor, tony stark and robert downey jr share the same personality, so thats why robert can act as good as he does when he portrays him, if you see other movies where is he you will notice that his characters share a LOT of characteristics between them, because he always puts some of his real personality on them. and im not saying its bad, but theres actors that can really forget who they are and give their hundred percent to become their character, and thats what a really skilled actor is

[@DragoonCenten]

Ivan Cuartas perhaps he isn't pretending

[@liz2092]

"Tell someone how much they mean to you and look them in the eye while you do it." Me: *shudders*

[@janus9148]

Me: *N O P E*

[@user-pj3pf7el1o]

I just said : n o 👎

[@dorian_tihi5869]

Whats up everyone. If you are Interested I upload YT Videos where you may be able to learn sth. I owuld appreciate it if you would go and leave some support, maybe even Subscribe. Have a wonderful Day ;)

[@earthclad6833]

i was cringing when he said that

[@commentingisawasteoftime7195]

@@dorian_tihi5869 doooooon't

[@billytessio6326]

I'm an anxious type... I don't like sand. It's coarse, rough, and irritating. And it gets everywhere.

[@clairemadeinheaven]

This is outrageous. It's unfair.

[@atom0824]

😂😂

[@flowerbunga2590]

Hi there, i relate to you alot

[@mar10ssj1]

Fuck Sand.

[@Scooby_Nubie]

OMFG XD

[@Taylor-gz4td]

Not gonna lie, the “It’s not your fault” hit me harder every time it was said. I literally cried. I guess I’m a Fearful type...but I also feel like I’m an Avoidant type as well.

[@FruityHachi]

because fearful attachment is a mix of anxious and avoidant, a person can definitely be on a scale either leaning more towards anxious or leaning more towards avoidant

[@gwenmorrowi3321]

Same

[@heikorudiger3258]

It's like a voice in your head that says: You should know better by now. Don't trust anyone too much ever

[@LietSayri]

I cried too.

[@InRainbows287]

Yep. I cried at “It’s not your fault”. I did the same when the professional help I sought said the same thing, I’m 100% a Fearful type due to childhood trauma.

[@lim3400]

Me: I’m totally an avoidant. Video: *describes fearful type* Me: .....dammit.

[@Katya_Lastochka]

Wooh! %2. You're special.

[@lim3400]

Pardon me, thanks mom 💜

[@breadfan_85]

Same lol

[@onawal931]

...same

[@breadfan_85]

@@Katya_Lastochka well, not really, if the "secure" type (AKA: "normal" people) is even more rare. Although if that's the case, then they're not really "normal" are they? That means the rest of us (the fucked up ones) are the norm! OMG I'm normal! Finally!

[@kevincorey4406]

Oh, dear. When you’re relating a little too much to Anakin Skywalker, a problem, you have.

[@shannenlibres2365]

They're called "niceguys" or "the crazy ex girlfriend"

[@hodgindaylon]

@@shannenlibres2365 I feel like the term nice guy gets consistently misused. Anakin was obviously a people pleaser and hugely insecure.

[@shannenlibres2365]

@@hodgindaylon what would you call him then? At least in my opinion r/niceguys are anxious ambivalents all the way

[@crazytidy2426]

@@shannenlibres2365 it definitely leads to being a nice guy but not everyone is. I think these sort of people always put their partner on a pedestal and can't handle it when they can't fit the ideal they made for them. It's like idealization but to varying degrees. I used to approach relationships like this but it's really bad once you start feeling insecure because you think they are perfect. It's not fair to your partner or to yourself.

[@FranziskavonKarma]

@@shannenlibres2365 I certainly wouldn't call Ani a "nice guy"

[@denisblack9897]

So the current culture laughs at secure types and praises avoidants? rip

[@cowboy4378]

I know, all those people joking about being an avoidant. I have some of the avoidant traits and I’ve known this for a while. I’m trying my best to change it, not making it my personality.

[@Rinoaeris]

This 100%. I don't find it funny at all. I'm a fearful type and would really like to have a proper relationship. Even though I am working on changing it, I'd kill to naturally be a secure type. They're so lucky!

[@HenriettaP]

And REALLY looks down on anxious types.

[@aquilliusranger2137]

It usually means that the majority that makes fun of secured people tends to be avoidants to their own selves.

[@HenriettaP]

@@aquilliusranger2137 they particularly despise anxious attachment types. It’s because they are projecting their own fear of abandonment.

[@TrashLuvr1234]

I’m writing a story and I just realized that an anxious type is is in love with an avoidant wow that’s not going to good

[@BarryWillBuck]

Sounds like my last relationship. I'm slightly anxious but it gets worse with time apart, and she was super avoidant. ...I'm doing myself right at least. I have good hobbies and usually express plenty of individuality.

[@finfog4590]

I’m in this right now.

[@theworldofnexttuesday2802]

By the descriptions in the video, I'm avoidant to the core. The only relationship I ever really had was with an insanely anxious person. She wound up being incredibly abusive to me to try to keep me around, and I put up with it for much longer than I should have - and that relationship lasted all of 10 weeks, give or take a day. It all started because she approached me, I tried to give her a soft no, and then she came back later putting on this emotional crisis that nothing was going well in her life and she was implicitly going to seriously harm herself if just one thing (me) didn't work out. I caved and gave it a try for HER sake, but after about a week or so the novelty of being in my first actual relationship evaporated and I was backed up into a corner by this psycho who would threaten to hurt herself every other day when she didn't have her way and even in some instances came after me physically. The lack of emotional investment on my part is probably the only reason the relationship didn't end in a nuclear detonation when I finally managed to call the breakup. At that point I was so uninvested in the relationship I had become by and large indifferent to whether she actually followed through on her constant threats. It was basically a week of her throwing a fit and me more or less saying "I don't care, go away." The optics were horrible with her acting completely devastated while I just tried to resume my own life without any drama. I lost a lot of friends, but I immediately stopped caring about anyone who sided with her as well. I've lost the taste for even trying to enter relationships after that. I was clearly not cut out for intimacy even taking the abuse out of the picture. I plan to cruise through the bachelor life for the rest of my days. Not that I have a problem with that, I'm just saying I've found priorities in life other than the biological imperative.

[@captainfuture2882]

@@theworldofnexttuesday2802 It looks like she damaged you in the process, but maybe it is better than getting into a relationship and getting divorced with a good chance.

[@moisesramos6746]

@@theworldofnexttuesday2802 Damn, I can't imagine what that relationship put you through. I think you went about it the best way, though. Setting your priorities straight and leaving that hellhole. Do what you want, work on yourself, and you'll come out confident as hell. Give it time.

[@spaceaidsman4535]

I’m literally tony Stark Without the success

[@ap3xls329]

toxic mindset, work on fixing that make it a more optimistic one

[@thatlampsouce6136]

@@ap3xls329 im tony stark without dang it tony stark your evrthing is great

[@blackpanther1320]

Me too

[@mad_titanthanos]

@Reinert Zerker Tony Stark is also a fiction genius i.e he doesn't exist.

[@xianthegaian4060]

Then you're Tony Stank 😉. Excelsior

[@vallrikstone9420]

The anxious types are afraid of their connections gaining the high ground.

[@Roonasaur]

/Please don't let this guy be right, Please don't let this guy be right . . ./

[@Dinosaurs_with_laser_guns]

What do you mean?

[@jeanlucdecoster]

moon child Star Wars reference 🤣

[@evanhayes5891]

After they're severely burned? Of course!

[@whispy4027]

This literally makes no sense

[@cordelephant]

I'm basically equal parts avoidant and anxious. That's my secret cap, I'm always miserable.

[@ivymichelle891]

That's the fearful type, both anxious and avoidant. I have a sick feeling that's what I am too :(

[@TheEmperorAs]

@@ivymichelle891 if you want to do something about it, check out Thais Gibbson or Teal Swan on you Tube

[@tenuousmite2350]

I'm the same but I'm it's not bad enough to be considered a fearful type

[@alexkilpatrick6776]

@@ivymichelle891 I feel like I'm 80% avoidant and like 20% anxious. Does this still fall under fearful or just not a perfect of avoidant?

[@kristofkovacsRisy]

I'm probably the same. Wait... I should know this from past relationships? -_-

[@codingsloth5256]

The "It's not your fault" part made me cry because it reminded me when I finally had someone to just listen to my trauma and not say I'm lying or interrupt me...

[@DJHastingsFeverPitch]

So true

[@jamesklark6562]

I've been feeling that with this new girl I met, but I also got fears that that her interest in me is waning. Every time I suspect it she somehow turns it around, I wish this didn't feel like such an emotional rollercoaster.

[@BlancaEstella4837]

​@@jamesklark6562 what about now ? Was the girl sincère ?

[@Ella_Tetsuya]

*Stares at thumbnail* "I am... Iron Man."

[@Hi-vf9wx]

😂😭

[@TheKvltSith]

I am the Senate

[@sighofrelief3466]

@@TheKvltSith No you WERE the senate

[@jairtrail4921]

Literally

[@exodusgod3505]

@@sighofrelief3466 HE IS THE SENATE AND HE ALWAYS WILL BE THE SENATE!!!

[@heffthehecked]

Bruh why tf did the "It's not your fault" maKe me crY toO

[@supersupersomething]

Same.

[@krishaashar]

s a m e

[@ThePrimith]

Did you also identify with the Fearful type, because I sure did. And yeah, I still got the waterworks going.

[@Overxpossed]

probably because you're too perfeccionist. I felt idientified with that scene but because I'm perfeccionist.

[@yuritrasimaco5201]

Because... I T ' S N O T Y O U R F A U L T ! ! !

[@naru246]

*explaining avoidant type * Me : *gasps*

[@RoninAquila]

Naru that has Mr Sakamoto the talking cat (your avatar) down to a tee! 🙂🐱

[@hana.1847]

me: *avoids eye contact*

[@edwardburns3781]

I grew up with a physically absent mother and an emotionally absent father, I've worked on myself and gone from an anxious type to a secure type.

[@maplesyrup1805]

Awesome how

[@starRushi]

That’s incredible man. It might mean nothing but a stranger on the Internet is looking at what you just said and hope for the same to happen to them lol.

[@monkeydetonation]

how tho

[@masonshields8006]

For me, it was Jordan Peterson.

[@einarasgedraitis4502]

That's the case for me also, it helped forming clear goals of what i want to achieve in my life and pursuing those goals, i used to rely on other people to make me happy but now i know that i am the one who should make myself happy and when you are fully content with yourself and all of the outcomes with a relationship then you can have a healthy relationship you just need to find the right person and it will all workout

[@Berengier817]

TIL: Being secure makes you worthy of wielding mjolnir.

[@wendyvasion4828]

*sigh* yes......yes it does.

[@MelanieJoules]

secure type = no drama = not good for film/ TV. But great for life! 👍💯

[@slash6686]

i was anxious but i frequented some avoidant people in college and step by step i learned to be in the middle, neither anxious, nor avoidant, i became secure and can now stand between the most awful people in my workplace

[@Semokada]

@@slash6686 I have an anxious style too, I'm happy to hear about someone's improvement.

[@magnelloper]

It can be good for film as shown by cap. Its harder to pull off, but probably is one of the most interesting character styles when done right also shown by captain america

[@placeholder1546]

It’s fine because the drama can just come from the other lover.

[@Overxpossed]

that's because your life is more like a yankee comedy in vhs with white background; i'm more like James Cameron before doing Avatar.

[@jorisdeclercq1601]

When you are asking: "Can I be avoidant and anxious at the same time?" Well yes, it is called fearful.

[@dorian_tihi5869]

Whats up everyone. If you are Interested I upload YT Videos where you may be able to learn sth. I owuld appreciate it if you would go and leave some support, maybe even Subscribe. Have a wonderful Day ;)

[@dennisjajablubb9984]

Fearful gang 4 life!

[@lille2160]

Thanks, I guess I'm fearful (:(:

[@datsunlambchops4624]

Thats my girlfriend. She is a fearful attachment type. It is very difficult. I was a secure type, went through the anxious type, working my way back to secure. You never know what emotional feed back you will get, from day,to day. 7 years, wow.

[@ahnrho]

Was anticipating that, with some dread.

[@phil1921]

I'm definitely a mix of 1 and 2. I have a very hard time forming relationships. The not looking at people in the eyes hits the bullseye for me. But when I do form a relationship I'm constantly worried that I'm doing something wrong and they'll want to leave. It's a lonely life.

[@thawindyking2740]

I feel that. I'm probably a mix of 2 and 3 due to pretty much experiencing abandonment throughout my life from father, friends, and past loves so I'm constantly feeling like either they don't truly feel that way about me or like "so when are they gonna inevitably leave me?"

[@rey_nemaattori]

If you're mix of 1 and 2, you're effectively a #3...

[@sirpranabR]

@@rey_nemaattori good point

[@islacasey839]

I can hardly look my dad in the eye. He's never been emotionally there for me or my family

[@cardinal8200]

Me watching avoidant type: oh, I relate quite a bit to that, guess everyone has a bit of every type *proceeds to not relate to other types* Me: oh no

[@Hey-jw3dm]

l o l

[@derozerr4856]

Same here

[@CamInAHat]

*gasp* That's me!!...oh, wait, never mind. *gasp* That's me!!...oh, wait, never mind. *gasp* That's me!!...oh, wait, never mind. *gasp* That's me!!...oh, wait, never mind.

[@purplepepper2503]

Right? Like, which one are we? XD

[@ghostdream4274]

What my feel like for every videos from him

[@TheTwinkiefoot]

I think the labels are incredibly fluid. I felt like I had traits of 3 of the 4

[@DrDeathpwnsu]

Video: Barely begins to explains the first one... Me: Ding ding ding! We have a winner...

[@ballislife9924]

Same. I'm generally acting really similar to Tony.

[@DrDeathpwnsu]

@@ballislife9924 We like to think we're like Tony Stark. In reality we probably come across as more Squidward Tentacles.

[@nickyfandino8529]

@@DrDeathpwnsu And truer word will never be spoken

[@ballislife9924]

@@DrDeathpwnsu That's probably true

[@ht.6315]

@@DrDeathpwnsu i'm only like tony in all of the fucked up aspects

[@The.Greene.Dragon]

That damned "it's not your fault" scene gets me EVERY TIME!

[@joelpugsley3697]

It’s not your fault

[@CeilinggangAditya]

It's not your fault -This is gonna turn into a zombie apocalypse at this point-

[@SeanLunny]

The way you were conditioned as a child directly impacts how you love and have relationships

[@BakaryD]

It impacts that and even MORE ! Childhood is so extremely important, that's why good parenthood is very important.

[@walkingalive1093]

Any idea how I can find out or read how my childhood could have impacted the way I love? I understand it has an impact but what impact? And based on what?

[@LucidNyte]

Who Da Fook Is That Guy Start with just getting a general idea of classical conditioning, then you can go on to Attachment Theory and Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development, both are well-established theories in the field of Psychology.

[@ptxrant2]

Yes I too watched the video

[@walkingalive1093]

@@LucidNyte Thank you very much I appreciate it. I will look into those.

[@binboda]

*Confirmed:* Captain America is the perfect boyfriend (but we knew that already)

[@rootstone9883]

so... avoidant and anxious. Feels discomfort with deep connection but fears the loss of connection. Yup, sounds about right

[@JanosGonzales]

A 22 catch

[@bouncyoink1234]

That’s fearful

[@lauramaria99999]

I think you mean a catch 22 😂

[@__-fm5qv]

Hey I think I'm in this picture, I don't like it...

[@natvelo]

same lmao

[@ceciliafetters7622]

**suddenly realizes why I crushed on Steve Rogers more than the leading men of most romance movies**

[@cantthinkofaname5046]

EMOTIONAL STABILITY IS HOT

[@kubapietrzak7278]

That's great. I think it means you developed right

[@catholicfemininity2126]

I want that, but it's hard to find.

[@catholicfemininity2126]

a secure man that is

[@ButiLao44]

It's 11pm and I was not ready for this kind of self discovery at this time of day.

[@Trptychs]

Why did I just see this at exactly 11pm

[@rinr7052]

LOL

[@hodgindaylon]

Hahah right bro 10pm for me.... Now I can't sleep so more self-deprecating videos it is lol

[@gayathrisajeev6268]

I use humour as a defense mechanism ~ chandler bing 😀 905 likes that's the most famous I'll get I guess 😆thanks y'all I feel like a youtuber who hit 10 million

[@justchilling704]

Same here.

[@ronswanson5974]

Seems to be like me

[@justchilling704]

Ron Swanson Lol

[@Scooby_Nubie]

ME TOO

[@dstewar]

Lol my ex. Specifically "I use sarcasm as a shield"

[@hermansjoholm3494]

Me watching this: - I'm an avoidant. - Sorry meant Anxious - Fearful! I misstyped - Ok I'm all

[@TannerWilliam07]

You're into zodiac astrology stuff aren't you lol

[@daisies4dae]

you can't be the secure type and the insecure types at the same time

[@abelincoln1866]

@@daisies4dae but I believe you can shift from one to another withing longtime period. I've been in pretty unhealthy relationship with some girl, started as secure, within next 3 years shifted first towards anxious/fearful, had a heartbreaking ending to this relationship (almost like in a "last Christmas I gave you my heart" lol) then for 2 years became kinda avoidant, if I can say that, cuz I've been afraid of any romantic action so to say, and here I am, slowly crawling back to my older self (hopefully), yet, lesson is learned.

[@flaw334]

Daisy Katz but I am

[@hodgindaylon]

@@daisies4dae logic and emotions don't always line up and that's where the issue is.

[@matthewramroop]

This became a therapy session real quick lol

[@piggypoo]

The nightmare when an anxious type falls in love with an avoidant type.

[@sobreaver]

Now your talking, life is the sauce of all those chemical elements. Living it doesn't always feels great. But when we need to grow out of ourselves, life happens ;) Enjoy while you still can !

[@ArtamStudio]

oh hell yes.

[@Ambear_]

I'm the anxious type...all my best friends are avoidant. They left me and it broke me

[@aapp776]

Hell yeah damn it

[@mariobros7834]

I think that I am avoidant and all my girlfriends were anxious hahaha But I can say anxious are nightmares for everyone, especially themselves. Hot mess.

[@mynamebekaleb7747]

The moral of the story is be captain America cause he’s legit asf 😏

[@Ben10man2]

Truth

[@TheHouseOffice]

I always knew I liked him..

[@bermymon99]

I never saw Good Will Hunting but holy crap this was a powerful performance 8:21

[@jasonirwin4631]

"Holy carp that was a powerful preformance" is basically how all of good will hunting plays out.

[@r.a.fraley1616]

I found that part of the video uncomfortable to watch

[@hikiwii23]

Take some time to watch it. Good Will Hunting is a phenomenal movie. 👍🏻

[@ampz1466]

@@r.a.fraley1616 lol. Yup you definitely avoidant.

[@singingstars5006]

The movie is very powerful!

[@Ayeohx]

Me: "Oh shiz, I'm an anxious type. Wonder how I can fix this." CoC: "Get a fuckin life". huh, okay. i'll do that...

[@sirpranabR]

clash of clans?

[@pearl.8551]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@jey7996]

my boy charlie out there fixing my datinglife once again

[@Spider-Rat77]

I'm definitely an avoidant. I have trouble even telling my family I love them. Getting into a relationship would just be too hard.

[@joreau7507]

Same. It just feels awkward

[@sita487]

your sun is probably in virgo, or your venus. yes you probably dont know what the hell im saying but google "venus in virgo"

[@jokerzai105]

ikr but im Capricorn...

[@emmanuelpacheco8765]

Same i never even told anyone that i loved them, even my own mom

[@BakaryD]

Same

[@EvanHBogle]

Honestly Cap is like the ideal guy, we should all try to be a little more like Captain America.

[@bloodycinephile]

He's a fucking liar. Not even Thanos lies.

[@LivingInChrysalis]

I fell for skinny Steve... and I think Peggy did too

[@denisbalcenko3045]

@@amazingjay3957 this. Looks aren't everything but there is nothing wrong with tryna be presentable to your SO or either a potential love interest you have. We are only human... if someone goes gym they are determined. If someone always looks good they can often be committed since they always take care of themselves etc. Your look says a lot about your character... sorry for getting so deep lol

[@LivingInChrysalis]

@@amazingjay3957 he was sexy AF

[@sooz5703]

@@LivingInChrysalis Those two were a great match. Both secure.

[@benhagstrom2185]

This is like the 4th video I've see that uses Good Will Hunting as a case study for psychology. I think I need to break down and watch that movie.

[@nabinnyc]

don't worry. it's not breaking down. it's s truly excellent film. enjoy

[@cantthinkofaname5046]

@@nabinnyc they meant analyze its/ study it

[@bekb293]

YES IT IS A GREAT MOVIE DO IT

[@pearl.8551]

It’s been 8 months, how was it?

[@benhagstrom2185]

@@pearl.8551 lmao it's on my to do list

[@Thatothergamer01]

Just learned I'm anxious thanks to you. So please don't stop uploading or I'll kms

[@Jesszicar]

the best comment

[@MsBettyRubble]

Don't worry. More videos are coming. Your anxiety can fade away. Have you considered making videos? You can release them privately for your eyes only.

[@KuhdieBoii]

#metoo

[@pear1ycur1y83]

Btw is your name Carlos ?

[@brink442]

Can you spot the Avoidants in these reply comments?

[@Tarodenaro]

Unfortunately, i don't have the higher ground in relationships.

[@asherpikesgoldenmoralcinem5770]

Tarodenaro u probs wish u were obi high ground kenobi then

[@1993greeksoldier]

If you feel you're not doing well as a romantic partner I'd recommend continuing to study on how to be a better partner and reflect on what specifically prevents you from filling that role

[@Boomblox5896]

@@1993greeksoldier This guy was just making a Star Wars meme.

[@sobreaver]

I personally have always preferred to be under XD

[@furyberserk]

@@1993greeksoldier I think this comment was worthless. It's inherent to do so, but also gives nothing to help even as a starter.

[@kledi3817]

"You were the one that wanted to win AND I JUST WANTED A SISTER" ~Nebula

[@wendyvasion4828]

Watching Guardians 2 right now! That line was their turning point . Go Nebula!

[@Anonymous-iy2qo]

That line made me start to love Nebula

[@forgetfulstranger]

i cried like a baby

[@Sigmar_Heldenhammer]

My childhood: *raised by a half sister and a pack of dogs while being neglect by our parents* Also me: “what is love?”

[@Some_One_One]

Also me: "BABY DON'T HURT ME!

[@haiguyse]

@@Some_One_One no more

[@timsickler5125]

@@Some_One_One nailed it!

[@TorquemadaTwist]

@@Some_One_One I thought it then had to see if someone wrote it. You made me laugh.

[@MoonshineBeforeSunshine]

Love is that half sister & them pack of dogs. Even if that love ain't there anymore, that was it. If you still have that platonic love with her, glad that you've still got it. As to romantic love, If such a love exists, it's so rare that it's not worth lookin' for; at least, that is for me.

[@federz666]

Wat.. I'm all of them. and single. cool.

[@jlupus8804]

If you focus on bettering the relationships you have and building up your character and meeting your needs, the right woman will eventually notice and you can pursue then.

[@KapoGearKapogear]

It not your fault

[@federz666]

J Lupus nah dude I’m actually quite happy being single haha. Spent most of my adult life in two different relationships, one ended bad and the other had a friendly, organic ending. Now life is pretty chill :)

[@GottfriedLeibnizYT]

You made my day.

[@vihpol]

Sooo bipolar?

[@angrysealion2259]

I feel like I'm somewhere between secure and anxious. I used to be way more of the anxious type, but after I drove a close friend away, I realized how over the top I was being. kinda like how this video said, I got my own hobbies and started making my own happiness and I became more self reliant and less dependant on others for my happiness. after I changed like this, I actually reconnected with that friend and now we're close again, but the friendship is much healthier than before. if you're like the anxious type, try to work on yourself, find a hobby, find happiness for yourself because you deserve it. finding confidence will help you so much, I promise

[@carterkimes2860]

I had to go through a similar discovery to get to where I am now. I’m glad I’m here, and I know the journey isn’t over yet.

[@EcthelionOTF]

I definitely feel you. I am the same way. I have a lot of anxious tendencies and that disrupted my first relationship. Still working on the whole independent thing. I'm young and I'll get there with time. Best wishes to everyone who reads this and I believe you all can overcome anything you set your mind to

[@liamg9334]

You must also hate sand right?

[@she_is_zoe]

Awwwe, true. You've got to deliberately choose to change. 😍👌

[@angrysealion2259]

@@liamg9334 yeah... I don't like sand... it's coarse and it's rough and it's irritating and it gets everywhere

[@sloop3720]

The night my brother died when I came to a friend's house, when I started crying I quickly tried to diffuse it with some unrelated joke. I just realized when watching this how severely avoidant that is

[@walkingalive1093]

My condolences. I cannot imagine the pain you must have went through. My brothers are everything for me. Without them I am nothing.

[@orestispalampougioukis6043]

@@walkingalive1093 lol. You really had to remind the guy whose brother died, how important the brotherly bond is? :D

[@jacobberry5138]

Sorry your Bub died. Cry privately. Like a man.

[@ishidacoolp]

Sorry for your loss @Sloop. Keep your head up and keep moving forward.

[@cantthinkofaname5046]

Orestis Palampougioukis You just perfectly conveyed an avoidant trait, congrats

[@MrMinecrafter720]

Oh my god I have literally gone through all of these in order throughout my teenage years. I was toxic af as a teen lol

[@DieWattefee]

I cried so hard during the Will Hunting therapy scene... damn it, i need it too.

[@exnihilonihilfit6316]

Have you watched "In Treatment"?

[@ScuffedLife]

It's not your fault!

[@OdinPlays94]

Watch Trash Humpers. Same director as Good Will Hunting

[@childhoodisthatyou9869]

Its a great movie

[@sakhilepadi3501]

Oh my goodness. I watched the movie after being fired. I was back home, unemployed and depressed. First time I cried while watching a movie. It definitely struck a nerve.

[@-4subscriberswithahammerad521]

Me having no girlfriend: Haha that’s nice

[@Max_Le_Groom]

Cha Cha real smooth.

[@piotrkoczwara4370]

prolly yo father abused u and your mother didn't let you make your own choices

[@LISBONKULT]

@@Taken1st me asking you how is that possible, how old are you?

[@yorbendw5035]

@@Taken1st I feel you. I'm 22 and discovering the world as well. Good luck and enjoy trying 😁 May the love be with you (and be two-sided of course) 😘 !!

[@LISBONKULT]

@@Taken1st what about your teenage years?

[@HallieEva]

One of the pitfalls to being a secure type is that you just are comfortable with both affection but also the absence of the person you feel like whether they're busy or whatever you feel secure but your avoidant or anxiously attached partner they don't feel that way if you're busy or whatever they jump to conclusions.

[@zsofiasej]

Omg this!!!! Like securely attached types suffer because of the insecurely attached ones. This happens in friendships all the time too.

[@cantthinkofaname5046]

True, which is why people should try to be more knowledgeable of these things for their own well-being

[@diabolicjackel8905]

pretty sure you're right. Working 2 jobs previously to support my driving to see my ex every weekend. So when I was working I wasn't talking as much because ya know, tired. And even tho this was explained a few times she still had the anxious thing going strong. Eventually tells me she is feeling single even tho we are together, so I told her she was then. I was busy at work and cared more for the job (that laid me off not long after) than I did for fixing the relationship. thats the TLDR version lol.

[@foyo5497]

Thats not a pitfall for the secure type, that is a pitfall of the other 3. In life for the most part, how you feel is your responsibility. I fit into the secure type, with a dash of avoidant. If the woman Im with feels uneasy because Im okay when she isnt around(which has happened), then that is HER problem that she has to deal with. Its like if a secure person has to "act" insecure when the other isnt around just to make the other feel better. Thats just being disingenuous to myself. If you are jumping to conclusions, then that is YOUR problem.

[@pushkarmahajan2052]

So trueeee

[@RacingSnails64]

"Craves love but doesn't know how to accept it" oh Nebula 😭 good video

[@VladaldTrumptin]

Hey :) what film is that?

[@kkibela]

Only because her dad programmed her to need it from him by denying it..

[@piggypoo]

WHACKA!

[@goldenhd9656]

How but she died if she did she would of accepted

[@cloudnine2450]

**describes an avoidant person** me: oh my god it’s chandler

[@icystorm9968]

Who is Chandler?

[@redacted7555]

Same!

[@mlk._]

icy storm from the show friends

[@leilanijohnson9664]

@@icystorm9968 From the show Friends.

[@belleville1805]

Yess I rhought about him too

[@aspenryder5091]

Great. I'm avoidant AND fearful. I've got a lot of work to do. edit: At least I don't hate sand. I can deal with that.

[@andir8119]

Aspen Ryder Same, i think i have ADHD.

[@IslandVibez_Virgo]

This is so well explored. As someone who is currently in therapy to work through my fearful attachment style, I hv to say that Matt Damon’s performance gave me chills.

[@osse1n]

*That's why people are so damaged in today's society.* Parents don't have time with their kids, leaving them scarred for life. Look within for answers and face your fears for detachment.

[@matthewreid1175]

How does a little independence scarr someone for life? I'm curious what your perspective is on this, no argument just wanna know what youre trying to say

[@foodank_atr817]

@@matthewreid1175 because they're left to learn through sources that may not be suitable or provide the best examples, also if you only have yourself to define morality, the base level may be skewed if you have nothing to reference it against.

[@CalebMcFarland]

Matthew Reid I’m pretty sure he’s talking about neglect not fostering independence.

[@qwerty222999]

People are not damaged these days, it's all a matter of perspective, and today's prosperity in the western society leads to a narrow perspective on youths perception of evil, terror, grief and so fourth. We don't get much of it, which leads to little things hurting us more than it should. It's in times of great terror or hopelessness that we find the best side of ourselves, and cast aside petty anxiousness in order to pursue our happiness. It's proven that in times of war, people tend to lean on love and all we find good, while in lack thereof, we tend to seek self-sabotage, in an evil absent society. There's much truth in the saying "There can't be no good without evil," because it's all perspective, and if we lose the evil, we fail to see what good is.

[@franciscasilva8406]

Comparing with a century ago, I would say parents give much more time to their kids. Back then if you were rich you were raised by a nanny and if you were poor you were to work to help feed the family.

[@rorycarter2037]

Avoidant is 100% my partner, even when I showed her this she avoided it 😂

[@mariobros7834]

Maybe she is just cheating on you

[@eatmyphatphuckingass]

@@mariobros7834 yikes

[@minicc26]

yupp my avoidant mothers was like no no i dont want to watch that video

[@BethyKable]

Rory Carter You and your partner need counseling

[@akashhazarika2782]

I know u r hurt inside.. They aren't avoidant they are just narssistic

[@ZANZANMANMAN]

obsession can form without knowing a person. they just described bollywood.!

[@lyinmyenn]

om shanti om 😭

[@theindianreviewroast6661]

Hey, Can you explain that?

[@ZANZANMANMAN]

@@theindianreviewroast6661 a lot of people in bollywood movies fall insanely deeply in love and have no prior connection especially stalking etc.

[@Phaseofftime]

@@ZANZANMANMAN Tere Naam 🤣

[@khmur3006]

@@ZANZANMANMAN Maybe that's just bad writing, lazy setup for characters.

[@ElffieElix]

Me: I'm not an avoidant type Video: tell someone you care about how much they mean to you! Me: y'know, I'm a little bit of an avoidant myself

[@domproductions26]

you mean a lot to me man. This comment resonates with me

[@emilyscarpato9609]

Video: Fearful is the rarest of them all Me: Ok good this can’t be me! *watches him explain fearful* Me: Ok wow that’s me...

[@redwingsfan3621]

I think it’s more common than he claims.

[@sarahs.9678]

Same. 😮

[@lucamorgi8064]

@@redwingsfan3621 Well, I'm currently in therapy and I'm the fearful type, so... I think there might be some connection. Let's hope it's not as common as you seem to think it is

[@shannenlibres2365]

That's so sad, hope you'll be ok

[@brooksy385]

Actually im fearful too. Even though i want relationships and a mentor figure, i dont open up because im afraid

[@Rogersensei93]

I guess I'm an avoidant and that explains why i like Tony Stark so much

[@michellewebb3044]

And as someone who has dated "avoidant" and married "fearful"... this explains why I hate that character so much. Also, he's sexist AF.

[@tomgjgj]

I think I'm an avoidant and I dislike him quite a lot. I wanna be Cap, dammit.

[@moving.quotes]

It's amazing that these characters are so well thought out. This was entirely different dimension that I got to look at after watching this video

[@bzleo2003]

I think I'm anxious but I like Tony Stark because I wish I was avoidant lol.

[@LuvTheEars2232]

SAMMMMEEE for me it also explain why I hate Steve Rogers so much

[@k.v.8335]

I've never seen "the Notebook", only some parts of it but for me it always looked creepy instead of romantic...

[@vinodkumaraug]

I think that romance movies should focus more on what could possibly happen in real life than these stalker behaviours. Stalking is creepy. Period. Never seen 'The Notebook', never will 😎

[@DrAlchem01]

@@vinodkumaraug The Netflix show 'You' kind of shows this, but it's one of very few examples

[@finnorourke4861]

Yeah it was crazy, I even thought it was too dangerous

[@hekimeti1614]

@@DrAlchem01 I dont think "you" is a very good example of this, because the show does not make any of it romantic. The stalking and the creepiness is not made to seem romantic at all

[@crablord7934]

Eternal Sunshine of Spotless Mind, there you go

[@sootsprite8333]

I’ve found that the reason I dislike hugs is because my parents used to force my siblings and I to “hug it out” after we fought. I would express my feelings and be in an uncomfortable situation but forget my feelings, we had to hug which made the matter even more uncomfortable. Subconsciously my brain was associating hugging with uncomfortability and neglect. That’s why every time I hug somebody it just feels fake, I never received a genuine hug in my childhood. But i’m learning to combat this by slowly including physical touch in deep/intimate moments so I can finally feel that hugging can be a genuine expression of love.

[@Toasty_Britches]

That's a very good awareness and solution, you're doing admirably.

[@walmartbargainbin]

Sand is like an abusive ex-boyfriend. Coarse, rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere.

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

FBI Builds castles next to the ocean, can become glass ornaments, symbolizes summer, childhood, fun.

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

Ex-Hate was Love, once.

[@thaneros]

Long story short childhood is very important and is the building block of adult life.

[@viktorthevictor6240]

Well fuck me then

[@perciousmatter7001]

7

[@mikerodrigues9822]

Which is why I hate myself every time I fail to my son.

[@boldone66]

Fuc-

[@city_hippie1017]

Ahh that's why I'm so fucked up 😂

[@victorym744]

This made me get over a breakup. I couldn't rationalize my partner's behavior. They both craved and feared attachment and that confused me to no end.

[@Debba_Iptum]

craved and feared attachment....sound like me....it may not mean much from a stranger but i feel sorry for the pain it caused you bieng with such a person and i hope your next relationship is less confussing

[@mikasasukasa4479]

i got really emotional realizing how much "Fearful" resonated with me

[@teharthe]

same here bro. Fearful to the bone.

[@Arniqua]

Wow. I felt intimidated by the explanation of the 'Fearful' type. I start off as an avoidant person, but turn into the Fearful type as the relationship deepens.

[@NajCarnage]

I ruined my relationship. I didnt realize i was avoiding her after we got serious until it was too late. I felt uncomfortable and didnt understand why, and i regret what i did so much

[@brandongreen629]

This is LITERALLY me! I couldn’t explain it any better. Whew this video was heavier than I thought it was going to be.

[@kkibela]

Oh wow.. Was mot expecting this level of being read today.. And on youtube of all things wow

[@opelaurora3276]

that's abusive and you should be alone until you work on that

[@crisantomorales9637]

I've done the same on all my relationships.

[@sanjaypatel14]

1 - Avoidant: 0:21 2 - Anxious: 3:01 3 - Fearful: 6:03 4 - Secure: 9:28

[@ghostsquadss6738]

make this top comment

[@Red_Wright1357]

Now I see why I call my friend "cheesy" when he verbally/non-verbally demonstrates his deep friendship with me or the others. And why uttering simple words attached with emotional value makes me uncomfortable.

[@Bunnyxxxb]

Pula Ancanan me too, i thought something was wrong with me for a while because I can’t be emotional publically or hug people

[@Red_Wright1357]

"Don't worry man. I'm here for you buddy. That's what good friends are. We lift each other up." *Damnit. I appreciate it but that is just so damn cheesy. We don't have to discuss it

[@Banana_hamock]

@@Bunnyxxxb same..even eye contact is hard.. I started therapy and even that is very daunting.. but I'm hoping to get a little better

[@kylekissack4633]

I love you🤗 lol

[@sobreaver]

Exactly, now you understand, by stepping out of your own ego and acknowledging the one of others. ultimately, it's all about this, KNOW THYSELF. Enjoy while you still can XD

[@MoarRushPl0x]

I became pretty obsessed with someone I hardly knew. It's been 6 years since I've seen her and she is still on my mind daily.

[@sharyarc8247]

Wtf Im having the same issue, its so weird

[@user-fo2on3dn1c]

Why cant we all just die already..

[@Realivangarcia]

You need to seek closure. I got over her after 8 years since the beginning of highschool. You need to seek her and really just talk to her one last time. Get it all out of your chest, that’ll set you free.

[@MoarRushPl0x]

​@@Realivangarcia I appreciate your advice and I think you are correct. I have been thinking of what to say to her for awhile now. Thank you for suggesting the healthy thing to do. I don't really have anyone to talk about this with.

[@holyromanracist5759]

Your comment reminds me of myself. I'm sorry if this is a bother, but I have to get this off my chest. I met a girl at a family friend's birthday party once. She's one of the few who showed true interest in me back when I was not confident and insecure(still am to an extent, but hey, I've made serious strides). I was a freshman in highschool, was picked on, and if I wasn't being picked on I was being shunned. This girl was likely slightly older than me as she could drive, and I had just started to think about getting my temporary license. Due to me being an avoidant(might have been a fearful type back then), I couldn't look her in the eyes. Her social advances made me withdraw more into my shell. She didn't leave when I got awkward though. Instead she joined me and my sisters and played foosball and ice hockey with us. When I saw she didn't judge me, I settled in a bit and was able to talk to her, still didn't look her in the eyes much, other than to steal a quick glance here and there. We ended up teaming up against my sisters on foosball. Little mannerisms and awkward interactions still cropped up as we played for a few hours...but she still didn't leave. It was quite obvious she had an interest in me. My sisters, and mother, both commented on it and even the pastor at the church made a comment. It didn't last for long though. Fear started to grip me as we continued to play and eventually when it was time to leave I didn't have the courage to say anything to her. I didn't ask for her number. I didn't ask her name. I didn't ask where she was from. Today, I don't even remember what she looks like, what her voice sounds like, or even her hair color. It doesn't matter really. That's not what I was attracted to. Not the shell. It was *her.* Her kindness was, in my experience, a rare thing. I think she was my soulmate, but maybe I'm just being dramatic. This party happened in the state of Ohio, in a small church with a beaten up white painted gym, and it was about 3-5 years ago. If you're out there and happen to see this, I hope you know I regret everything about that day. I'm still looking for you, and hope I find you some day, even if it's just to talk. I've changed alot. I'm sure you have too. I hope you feel the same way about me, that I feel about you. Sorry for the book, but I feel much better now. TLDR: Hey kind girl, I met 3-5 years ago, I miss you alot.

[@lemonyxsugar6998]

I'm definitely avoidant... whenever my boyfriend tells me he loves me I literally have to take a big breath before I say it back, thing is I do love him, I'm just scared it won't end well

[@tigerssjaw]

that means your anxious (pre-occupied attachment), you want and enjoy closeness but worry that your partner will discover flaws and faults.

[@jakeoswald8017]

Sara Benavides or they’re avoidant, avoidant act in similar ways. I’m anxious and I have no problem saying I love someone because I believe it makes the connection stronger and lessens the chance of it dissipating

[@jakeoswald8017]

Sara Benavides my girlfriend is avoidant and had a super hard time saying she loved me despite knowing she loves me lots

[@ButiLao44]

I only told people that I loved them a handful of times. Most of them was my host mom when I lived abroad because she unlike my parents was emotionally present, once was during this time abroad when I texted my parents that I love them (they did not reply so I never did it again) and once was to my friend group when I was extremely drunk. So what does that say about me haha...

[@cowboy4378]

Nice

[@ejw2354]

Me, trying to figure out which one I am, while never having been in a romantic relationship of any kind:

[@GinkgoBee]

Ahh, so that's why I can relate to none

[@hehehe785]

Ya I can’t relate to any these

[@ihopeicanchangethisnamelat7108]

Me, knowing full well that I’m aroace, trying to figure out which one I am:

[@FruityHachi]

attachment style isn't just about romantic relationships, it's how you relate to people in any kind of relationship - friendship, family i've never been in a romantic relationship either but i know what my attachment style is

[@generaldream6206]

me seeing the word avoidant and knowing that's me even tho I've never been in a relationship

[@samhayes-astrion]

_Looks at the thumbnail_ I didn't know Anakin Skywalker was an MCU character.

[@jocelynhussey9400]

Astrion But they are all owned by Disney ;)

[@shaymiantewhau3014]

Good will hunting is also part of the MCU

[@VINTAGE1959]

@@shaymiantewhau3014 lol, in reference to the other comment....Good will hunting is also owned by Disney....

[@JeffAndresWilliams]

"Anxious is the inverse of avoidant" uuuhhh, but I'm both. Help, I'm confused and afraid! "Fearful combines traits of anxious and avoidant types" Oh thank God, that explains it.

[@rafay8516]

So, Ross Geller is the Anxious type. He has an idealized view of Rachel and is clingy and gets jealous and is paranoid he will lose someone just like he did Carrol.

[@rektzvlogs4715]

Where tf did Ross Geller come from?

[@rafay8516]

@@rektzvlogs4715 Just an observation

[@victoriaodegaard1]

And Chandler is avoidant, using comedy to avoid having to expose his feelings

[@denisblack9897]

Joe is pretty secure

[@catchpokemon904]

But they were on a break !

[@Wimbell93]

Kind of impressed that Lucas nailed the portrayal of the anxious attachment type. I don't think he ever got credit for that.

[@jlupus8804]

Anakin’s development as a character is one of the few things the prequels did right.

[@k.c.8722]

I guess we just didn’t want to root or feel sorry for a guy like that. Or we thought the great Darth Vader was too macho badass for such an arc

[@luzpueblalara4128]

From the point of view of a drama it's actually great

[@loor4753]

Luz Puebla Lara Force awakens and the last Jedi were so bad now people think the prequels were good

[@luzpueblalara4128]

@@loor4753 I don't really care about the Star Wars saga... I just like the actor and I saw some of his movies

[@Bazus05]

I'm 100% an avoidant type. I have trouble verbally expressing positive emotions. Its gotten so bad that I can only say "I love you" to my parents on certain occasions. While I was growing up, my dad was always busy with work and sometimes travel whilst my mother had to worry about my special needs sister. Neither my Dad or Mom had the time to give me full emotional attention. I know they tried their best, but life is tough, as we all know.

[@cristiansaravia4476]

I just never had parents I live with my grandma and uncle but my grandmother is gotta be the nicest person in the world to me , luv Grandma 👊

[@tianarose1549]

Same!!! My dad is a merchant and was gone a lot overseas and my mom had to take care of my special needs sister as well!!!! Until they got divorced and I had to help all the time

[@cristiansaravia4476]

@@tianarose1549 ya sadly not everyone gets a happy beginning but we still have the choice to get a happy ending by just accepting that we're not the same as everyone else but we can still be happy our own ways

[@murray6188]

its weird because my parents are really emotionally available but for some reason i shut them down every time. i dont remember the last time i said i love you to them directly even though i do.

[@cristiansaravia4476]

@@murray6188 you should cause you never know when the last time your gonna see them

[@Barbell_Bolter]

Damn I think I’m a fearful type, thank god I don’t take things out on other people, only myself 😪

[@SidhantTomerWWE2017]

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[@klueboy131]

Sidhant Tomer WWE so true. I’ve seen a few videos on KZbin but nothing as mind blown as this.

[@smerdopsis6092]

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[@GN-Aaron]

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[@smerdopsis6092]

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[@karlitosway7474]

Facts, I love it as much as I love Whatculture Wrestling or Wrestlamia. I’m assuming since ur also a fan you have heard of those lol