How to Cope When Your Adult Child Won't Talk To You: Family Estrangement Video Series | Ep.74

[@darlenerobinson8740]

It's the most painful thing anyone can go through, don't wish it on any parent.

[@karentittle3187]

I use to be really close to my son age 35 now..then all of a sudden he has separated himself from me. It is the most painful thing for a Mom. I do keep myself on a schedule and eat right, exercise and try to have my own life. But we went from Grocery shopping together, hanging out , great conversations to nothing.He did have some life things happen to him and he went from positive to more withdrawn. I was sending him a card now and again and text him..but i am currently backing off and giving him space and waiting for him to reach out to me. I am a healthy 64 year old and realize life is short and hate going a day or so without him knowing i love him. He loves VR gaming so i ordered special cards which i send him monthly. It is just the hardest , most painful thing..he is single no love interest ..has his own business..i miss him soooooooo much!!!!! Last time i saw him was March 2024 for his birthday ..i got him a Owl Harry Potter Squish mallow...he LOVED IT

[@kevinsmith5318]

My 19 year old daughter told me (her Dad) 6 months ago that she never wanted to see me again. It seemed to come out of the blue so obviously i’m clueless. We were always very close. It is bewildering. But mostly it is heartbreaking.

[@biznachos1]

Are you still married to her mom? I might be good at finding clues....

[@CHIMPmanHE]

I've had exactly the same my 18 year old daughter wont talk to me my 17 year old son ran away from me with his girlfriend my 12 and 8 year old i dont even know im broken 💔 but its my evil ex wife

[@biznachos1]

@@CHIMPmanHE It's obvious to me why they don't want to talk with you. Have you looked up the statistics of the outcomes of broken homes? You sir, have a broken home. AND you made life with an "evil woman"... that would make me not want to talk with you ever again too... At least make new life with a good woman... Come'on maaaaaaan! *edit* relationships are a mirror ~ If you say your ex is evil ~ you might want to find out why you hooked up with evil; that's always a good start.

[@biznachos1]

See, this stuff is too easy. In the west they forgot all those studies that showed how important a stable nuclear family is.... All these folks just get with crazy chicks and then can't figure out why their kids hate them.. Maybe it's just a high IQ thing..... Seems clear as day to me... It's true! Pick a good mother ~ not someone you just enjoy boinking!

[@CHIMPmanHE]

@@biznachos1 because I have money

[@marciadelgado852]

This was very helpful and you are right, it is the most difficult time of my life.

[@racheladamssmillie8043]

I have been listening to your series and I am just stuck! I am stuck in this soul crushing detestation of loss! I can’t seem to get past it! My physical, mental and emotional health have suffered. People say to turn it over to God, but I don’t know how to release the pain.

[@sashaevans2566]

Hi Rachel, It also has happened to me. It seems to me that it's actually very easy to be a nice, honest person. No matter what others think, including our kids. If your just take this approach of not trying to seek for anybody's approval but to follow your feelings and be grounded in all the goodness that you have within, you'll very absolutely fine.

[@trinity2860]

Same here. I can’t get over it

[@cheypam]

Wow, I sure was in the right place and perfect time to hear this! Thank you!

[@irenestar9256]

What will work is if the parent takes full accountability for their hurtful actions, actually listening to their grown child and not get defensive. "I am sorry for xyz" and leave it at that. Saying "I'm sorry if I ever hurt you" is not an apology, because their is no accountability taken. Also Saying " that was in the past, let's move forward" well, it's not the past if the behavior is still present. Chances are the grown child has been expressing how they feel toward some actions or behaviors yet the estranged parent was just hearing but not listening. I'm a grown 42 year old mom of 2 adult children myself and 3 younger ones. My parents have taught me what not to do as a parent with their hurtful actions.

[@venomlily1651]

But what if the real problem isn't the parents ? What if the problem is the ADULT CHILD ? Because I've read

[@anetteh9579]

What is your advice of how to deal with the stigma of estrangement, it’s hard to explain to others, especially those who seem to have good family relationships

[@sparkysmom7149]

I am devastated. MY adult son hasn't spoken to me in a year. Never even bothered to tell me WHY. I know I've spoiled my kids too much, and I've been very protective. But omg, why should I be punished? I'm 60 in a few months. My heart isn't well. Do I really deserve this?

[@youtubemariemorinestrangement]

Hi Sparky's Mom: I'm so sorry you are hurting. Please stay in contact with people you love and if you're not already getting support, please consider. Estrangement is just too hard to manage alone. Warmly, Marie

[@yosh6278]

Lol

[@aprilcoursey4533]

I'm in a similar boat, and he never said why. I've never been told I'm narcissistic, abusive, cold....I just gave him all I had, and he was spoiled. I offered therapy when his ex said my son resented me. He just doesn't care and I think that is the trend

[@chocolate-eq6jn]

I agree with you that you should not contact the adult child, when they have asked you not to. My daughter goes out of her way to make sure that I don't have any information about her. I do know through social media what she does for a living and where she works, but not where she lives. Her extended family members (my siblings) are very toxic enablers, whom she has decided will be her "new family". It would be very damaging for me to contact them to find out where she lives. The one card that I sent a few years ago, very much like the one you described, was returned. So, no communication from me. Maybe one day she will reach out. Or maybe not. I have had to accept the idea that I may live out the rest of my life never seeing her again. Thank you for the tips on how to survive this and on how to stay healthy. It's hard joining women's groups in my church diocese, since one of my siblings who was very much involved in our break up, is very influential in the church. Many people know who she is, so I am learning techniques to make friends in the safest way possible. It has taken a long time to figure that out. My husband and I will be moving out of the area soon, so that will help.

[@rosemaryvalentin4940]

Stay strong life is to short , take care of yourself

[@sashaevans2566]

I've made so many communication mistakes, according to this video, because of the overwhelming emotions, ☺️ love all the suggestions, thanks a lot.

[@ravenclaw783]

One thing everyone should know is that adult children don't simply stop talking to you for no reason and especially if you raised them. I often read comments from parents pretending to be aloof or completely unaware of what may have sparked the estrangement, but I think the average person can tell that these parents are not being honest with themselves. Thats the problem. Parents who fail to reflect on their own shortcomings will never be able to foster the necessary tools to mend relationships with their adult children. As adults, we are aware of what healthy relationships should look like and if our parents are still behaving in ways that are unhealthy and hurtful to us, don't expect a rational person to stick around, blood or not. As an adult child (millennial), I am in no way obligated to remain tied to anyone who does not respect or bring value to my life. It's my life and my happiness is my responsibility.

[@youtubemariemorinestrangement]

Rick Thank you for sharing here. I’m grateful you did. I’m sorry this happened to you. I hear you and get it. No one deserves to be mistreated.

[@meenakshishivram1020]

You are right. There is always a reason when someone gets annoyed. But unless the person says it out - like you have just said it here - how is the other person to know? I don't think I pretend not to know - I really don't know and I would really really like to know!

[@gailringwell6534]

There are some parents on here who really don't know what they did. So what if they can't figure it out. It is then your responsibility to go ahead and tell them. Hopefully they will be open to the criticism if it was told lovingly.

[@ravenclaw783]

@@gailringwell6534 No. Thats not true at all . Before adult children estrange themselves from parents, typically they have had countless conversations about what's bothering them and typically parents fail to respond well to that.

[@sarahboan8756]

​@meenakshishivram1020 same I really don't know why. How can I change it if i don't know what it is I actually did

[@billyb4790]

My sister and I stopped talking to our mother 12 years ago. For the most part my mother has made it very easy for me to stay no contact. She hasn’t reached out in any genuine way that says she cares and that basically because she *doesn’t*. When I first went no contact I was afraid I was making the wrong decision. I worried about her and felt compelled to reestablish contact. All it would have taken was a text from her saying “I’m sad”….”I miss you and I’m thinking of you”…..anything genuine like that. One or two messages like that and I would have come running back like a puppy dog regardless of whether I wanted to or not. But she never did. Never. And so she made it easy for me. I wish I could hear from her the comments I read here. I wish she did care like so many here seem to care. But she doesn’t.

[@dianaray1470]

Oh because she didn’t crawl back kissing your ass you’re really done! Please girl. I can see you stomping your feet and throwing a temper tantrum. 😂 she’s so better off without you and apparently she agrees with me 😂😂😂

[@meenakshishivram1020]

As a parent, my thinking would be that if I am the villain in your life and I am the one making you unhappy, then I would let you be free of me - because all I want is for you to be happy! That would be why I wouldn't write a message - because I am devastated and don't know why I have been rejected.

[@billyb4790]

@@meenakshishivram1020 and would you SAY that? Because I was given NO indication of that in 13 years.

[@mightofonce]

I’m sorry, but to me it sounds like you are testing your mother just because you can. You don’t mention why you stopped talking to her. But you go on and on how she has not reached out to you. If you would open the relationship up again if she would just reach out and say she misses you? Then why would you cut her off in the first place? Just because she doesn’t reach out to you, it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t think about you ever day. Or cry herself to sleep. Why can’t you just have a more casual relationship. Get i. Touch at holidays be cordial with each other and keep the talk simple. Maybe she just doesn’t express her feelings fa well, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t feel them. For all you know she could have a good reason for not reaching out, but you are acting to righteous to ever hear what it is. Life is way too short to cut out the very people who live you unconditionally.

[@billyb4790]

@@mightofonce OMG why didn't I think of that? I just called her and she was so grateful as per your advice and now we're living happily every after. Thanks so much for your insight!

[@softballcoach17]

Great video our 32 year old daughter has been distant for a year and recently has cut us out of her life. Your video clarifies what to do in 2024. Thank you

[@youtubemariemorinestrangement]

Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm honored that my video could provide some clarity in such a difficult situation. Wishing you all the best in rebuilding your relationship with your daughter.

[@adamchavez999]

Just ACCEPT IT.

[@barbvanhouten9244]

How?

[@adamchavez999]

@barbvanhouten9244 accept that he or she wants nothing to do with you.there is nothing you can do but pray for them and wish them well.

[@adamchavez999]

@barbvanhouten9244 I've been there they'll come around when ready it hurts but you need to go on with your life.

[@shawnnamarie1228]

This is so helpful. I just got off the phone with my only child who moved across country to Los Angeles last August. She graduated college the year before and it seems like the last five years we’ve been going back-and-forth with each other a lot. In my mind, it doesn’t feel like it’s some thing that she needs to be so angry with me about. my defense which I realize now is so wrong I would argue with her and say how can you say I don’t care I’m a single mom I made it a point to come to almost every softball game every buck volleyball game, I’ve sacrifice in every decision I’ve ever made I had put you first and she would just be so nasty and negative. When she was a little girl we were so close I just don’t understand what happened when she became a teenager. Of course if she became loud and boisterous and disrespectful it would trigger me because I felt like how dare you when you were in this house I don’t collect any rent or anything from you and even though she was away at college when she came home because of the pandemic, she stayed mostly in her room And talked about she was depressed and when I would try to get us to go to counseling, she wouldn’t want to go. She did very well in college and got a great job opportunity that took her across the country which was very hard for me because when she was in college, she was only an hour away in the same state, now she’s doing everything she wants to do and I even told her she can stay on my insurance until she’s 26 just to give her a chance to get situated financially and I still pay for the family cell phone bill. She really reaches out to me, once in a blue moon she might, but there is a big time difference I’m like why can’t you even just text once in a while to ask how I’m doing. I reach out to her and she will pick up the phone and talk a little bit but she blocked me on Facebook but is friends with me on both of her Instagram accounts. She’s 24. I was so used to her for years being on Facebook and people seeing her successes and commenting and everything but she has me blocked on there which is so silly I know, but that really hurt my feelings. Now I feel like she will only really reach out to me a day or two before she may ask me to borrow money into her next paycheck. Surprisingly she’s only done that maybe twice the whole year she’s been out there I try to give her space and not call her to see how long it takes for her to reach out and wants two or three weeks goes by I give in and I’ll shoot her a text or try to give her a call when she is nice on the phone, but there’s some things that she just blows me off about. I’m sorry I’m venting. This video is very helpful. I’m going to start watching your series I feel I’m a very nice loving and caring mother and I feel that I have spoiled her growing up. When I start talking about my feelings, she says I’m a narcissist?! I’m not mean it’s just so confusing to me and hurtful. I know it can be worse. At least we talk as she shares her successes and things with me and sends me pictures and videos but I think I’m having a hard time with the fact that I have a new role that I’m Sor no longer a single mom anymore. Sorry for venting everybody. I’m using voice text and this is just very emotional to me.

[@youtubemariemorinestrangement]

Hi Shawnna: I'm sorry you are going through this. Please be informed and do your best to take care of yourself. Your daughter is young, she may just need some space for a time. She's learning how to be an adult and sometimes that means separating so she can find her way independently. It helps to learn how to communicate and when not to. I know this is rough. Thank you for sharing with us. Warmly, Marie

[@katethielmann4244]

Isn't that the truth. Learning how and when not to communicate. I'm going through this right now. It is very hard.

[@meenakshishivram1020]

I understand what you are going through. Please don't feel guilty about what you have done or not done. It's your daughter's way of exploring life - you get on with yours as the video suggests.

[@shawnnamarie1228]

Update: she’s a little bit more independent living out on the West Coast, and several months ago she was laid off. that was several months ago and she just started a new job a few weeks ago. Those several months were very stressful because she was stressed out herself. She was reaching out a little more often, I was hoping her where I could but she had to find other ways to make her situation work. for the last month and a half we’ve been very close as she reaches out a few times a week and I reach out to her a few times a week. We text each other almost every other day and back to being friends on Facebook :-) I think we’re in the right space where we can have an adult mother-daughter relationship. She’s living her life and I’m living my best life as best as I can as an empty Nester.

[@denise6515]

I don't have many friends. I've been in chronic pain for 10 years. Trying to find ways to help but it's breaking my heart

[@mare2723]

Denise I can relate & if we can figure out how I understand😊

[@LonjeMarie7]

Thank you 🙏🏾

[@simonepeters9070]

Thank you without realising it I'm actually doing some of the stuff you suggested. You're amazing, thank you.

[@youtubemariemorinestrangement]

You're so welcome!

[@Bookworm-tk5qr]

I appreciate that you’re talking about parents who are told toxic or abusive by their children. I really feel need that people should talk more on this topic that how can parents change them and how can they realize that their behavior toward their children was really wrong from their heart. Most of the time parents have issue in their cognitive distortions and they need cognitive behavioral therapy but no one speaks on this theme. This should be broadly known because it can help a lot of people to actually understand the situation in depth. There are a lot of people who are talking for the victims to understand their situation but there are not enough videos on why toxic parents behave that way and what can they do to fix themselves.

[@youtubemariemorinestrangement]

Good point. Do you think these very parents are receptive to a video when they are unable to accept responsibility for their actions? Perhaps some might however I think if more people understand different perspectives we can see each other in a less judgmental manner. What do you think?

[@Bookworm-tk5qr]

@@youtubemariemorinestrangement You're right if they're not ready to accept their fault then it's meaningless but maybe there are people who really didn't realize that they were doing wrong and sincerely want to know what they did wrong, so yeah those down to earth kind of parents can benefit from those videos. But yes, most of the parents are not ready to take responsibility of their behaviors which is super arrogant behavior in my eyes. Your point is also understandable in that regard, that if they are not going to take responsibility then it's better to guide them in different way rathen than being judgmental. Thank you for you reply!

[@gailringwell6534]

​@youtubemariemorinestrangement it is extremely important how it would be said and said lovingly. If u reach anyone it would be worth it

[@jayneberriman9177]

Made me feel better this thank you

[@youtubemariemorinestrangement]

Thank you for writing. I'm so grateful you feel better.

[@charleendavis8171]

At this point, after my brothers have treated our mom like s**t for years, the last thing I want to here is that She needs to cower around, apologetically, so that they feel respected and comfortable. Give me a break.

[@sarahboan8756]

That's true

[@jessicaroberts8488]

What happens when it’s their birthday, do u text, send a card or nothing at all? Then when u don’t it could get thrown in your face that u didn’t even wish them happy bday…

[@katethielmann4244]

I just went through this with a prodigal. I send the card. I acknowledge to myself that he is my son, I remember him his birth and I wish him well.

[@josepha9313]

I send a card every year; birthday, Christmas; sometimes even Thanksgiving; to let my son know I'm still out here. Nothing ever comes back. Yeah, I've texted, e-mailed, left voicemail; "I'm sorry for whatever has come between us"; "would you care to get a burger somewhere together"; Happy Easter, Happy New Year, Merry Christmas; no response; none; just keep trying until I exit this world I guess. It is heartbreaking, it is devastating, it hurts. His mother divorced me after 21 years of marriage. No explanation there either. She simply checked out. No one, has the answer for this stuff, no one.

[@Anna-ky7ix]

When you don’t have an address an email is the only option. What about those who cut off and never say anything. There is no other family either. Then what do you suggest? You have apologized early on and they thanked you and yet continued to become more and more distant despite honoring all the distance they need by their behavior not by them voicing it. But, by paying close attention to the out of character pulling away when we were formerly incredibly close. No fight. No anything just distance that went from weekly texting & talking to no texting or calling and me recognizing it immediately as I am a very aware person, meditator, been in therapy numerous times over the years to heal my own traumatic issues, always open communication with her, told I was the best mom in the world all the time not just on special occasions. People were envious of our extremely tight bond. And now, nothing. No explanations. No anything. Just cut off.I understand she is under lots of stress doing PhD 2600 miles away from me, as well as a history of depression and anxiety herself but, we were always open and I got her therapy immediately when I discovered her issues at a young adolescent age with depression. I have always been supportive her biggest cheerleader and now I am nothing apparently erased. I just wish she could verbally say, I need x,y,z. I have historically always listened and tried my very best to give her whatever she needed and I would think she would know that by now given our history together. I am beyond baffled still nineteen months into this situation. I do not get it, and I dig and dissect everything constantly. I see experts, read so many many books again and again, listen to you and Coleman, Gilbertson, yet I find myself still in deep grief over no answers from her. I can only do so much from such little information and only my interpretation of what may be the problems if she won’t say anything. I wish you would do something on when there is no other family, no situations when we will run into each other, no events, no way of connecting.

[@toddgraham6006]

I am so sorry for you and your situation, mine is very similar to yours. I think it is a good idea to have a group or a friend to share thoughts with time to time. Sometimes I just feel numb and I don’t enjoy my music and hobbies like I used to. I have not taken to drinking alcohol or drugs or smoking or anything! I wish my daughter would just at least say hello, and acknowledge my existence. 😢 Nevertheless I continue to pray and hope for a brighter day. I miss my 18 year old daughter very much, it’s like she is a ghost in our home. She holds all the power in this situation.

[@jennyhopkins6313]

I am heartbroken. Had a fallout with my beautiful daughter, now 24, a month ago. We were so close, i was a single mom, felt like i did everything i could to make her childhood wonderful. She admits it was wonderful. Could i really have behaved so badly that she finds it necessary to punish me in this way? Does she know how much I am suffering? Is she happy that she is teaching me a lesson? Is she suffering? I offered to organize a mediation, but she declined, saying she just needs time & space. So that is what i am giving, but i cry many times a day, am battling to work, feel horribly run down ... Doing a lot of self care, but the grief just comes rushing in again... I know that she needs to separate to find out who she really is, but does it really have to happen this way? I feel like things will never be the same again between us, so i grieve for what is lost .. but perhaps some time is all rhat is needed ... Trying to remain positive

[@rrrj7816]

What was the fallout about between the both of you?

[@gailringwell6534]

She is very young..when she is ready to talk try to really listen. She will probably say some things that u will want to be defensive about. State your side calmy and lovingly.

[@mccoolth]

I stop asking my daughter questions as she gets offended. I feel uncomfortable being around people who feel I am a risk to them. I have had to make a difficult decision and I have let her go so she will feel safe. She hasn't told me what I did to her that has caused her to hate me, which I have asked her to share.

[@j.r.4354]

Similar here. I feel that there is another side to this coin maybe

[@biznachos1]

"She hasn't told me what I did to her that has caused her to hate me" Are you still married to the biological father? IE: did you blow up your family?

[@sarahrelyea6441]

What to do when you truly have no idea what I did or said to contribute to the estrangement? Hurtful, disrespectful things were said to me, and then hung up on. I truly don't know what I did or said....

[@biznachos1]

@@sarahrelyea6441 Start with, did you get a divorce? IE did you destroy the family? Most of the people who are estranged did.

[@dorceerechtfertig1876]

U just described my feelings. Im afraid to ask questions and I never give advice. She has now stopped all contact. That also means no grandchildren. It's been 4 years. I have so much grief that I feel. No one to talk to either.

[@ROBERTA-gb4lv]

im interested to know what people also give a frack

[@denise6515]

I'm so.hurt that she won't even yell at me. I've tried to get her to talk since she was 14 now at 27 it's worse. Now I feel like I have a realionship like my mom and me but even we're getting closer would've for years if she would've respected me as. A mom and quit telling my kids how wrong me and my boyfriend was.

[@lynnwade9112]

My son has not seen me or spoken to me in 6 years. My ex husband has been difficult and would not co parent with me smoothly ever. My ex husband has a nice house and more money. No matter what I did and gave, it was never good enough. I wrote my son a letter 2 years ago and he burnt it and never read it. It breaks my heart and is the worst pain ever in my life. We talked a few days a week on his way home from work. He refuses to talk, fix things or move forward. He will not even talk to his sister either. He insulted us both. I never thought that he would behave this way. I feel like I am dying inside. I have a akmost 6 year old grandson and i am not able to see him. I only saw him twice in his life. My daughter in law sends some photos and videos to me. It is horrible knowing that. he has no idea who we are even.

[@kenknight3156]

Thank you for you video....2 of my 3 kids are not speaking to me....divorce with both moms. Hurting.

[@youtubemariemorinestrangement]

Hi I’m sorry this happened to you.

[@heartbrokenamerican2195]

My 22 year old son, who doesn’t live with me, hasn’t contacted me for two years despite my countless phone calls, texts, and cards. I just don’t understand it. My other son who’s 20, is very responsible, hard working, going to college, and is very close to us. I learned yesterday that my 22 yr old was arrested. His friend was driving them in a car with an expired tag. In the car they found a gun in the car, the gun was my son’s from what I understand. which I presume was my son’s. It wasn’t loaded and there were no bullets in the car. He had no criminal record, and from what I’ve heard he just had it because it looked “cool.” I’m hoping these things will let him get off with a fine and probation. I’m wondering what I did wrong.

[@KTB77777]

You haven’t done anything wrong. Step back. Don’t overcommunicate as they will push back more. There are lots of groups for estranged parents - you are NOT alone. For now, back off and place at the foot of Christ. Don’t do anything that makes him want to push back. Take care of yourself so you don’t lose yourself. Pray pray pray.

[@heartbrokenamerican2195]

@@KTB77777 thanks for your encouraging words. I’m obviously a stranger to you but could you pray for my son

[@heartbrokenamerican2195]

My son ended up getting a misdemeanor with no fines. His father (my ex ) said he was very upset at himself for what he did. So hopefully this will motivate him to get his life together.

[@ravenclaw783]

I don't know you or your son, but after reading your commentary: "My other son who’s 20, is very responsible, hard working, going to college, and is very close to us." I suspect that you compare your sons shortcomings to his brothers successes. I'm not a therapist here but I don't need to be one to tell you that a parent who compares their children to one another is not a wise or responsible thing to do. In fact, if you want to push your child away from you permanently, thats a perfect recipe. Your son engages in reckless behavior because he lacks a sense of self worth and I wonder we he got that from.

[@jameshalliday7983]

My adult kids and even my wife blame me for our 20 year old son's suicide 5 years ago. I'm having a hard time carrying this. I've been told that if I was a better person our son would be alive.

[@mrmeme29]

Maybe their right if everyone’s blaming you you shouldn’t deserve to have a hard time carrying it

[@gailringwell6534]

Do yourself a favor. Get therapy

[@hpotts663]

Both my daughters have cut me off because my relationship has been toxi with my husband and they keep picking up the pieces when i leave him then go back. Im so ashamed because i know they are right. Im ashamed when people ask questions about them and my grandchikd, i dont know, it breaks my heart, i just feel like i wNt to die

[@youtubemariemorinestrangement]

When people ask have a simple response “Thsnk you for asking they are all doing well and mygrsndaughtet is healthy.” you do T need to explain. If they press for more and they already know, tell them you would rather not discuss it. Please talk to someone and get support. If you have been mistreated by a toxic husband you will need help to get forward. Please let me know when you are getting help.

[@patriciaheron8858]

I truly liked your video. You said to keep communication open by sending a short note letting your child know your thinking of them. Would that include a text message. My 42 year old son and I were texting back and forth about a week ago, he didn't like my responses and I was told to lose his number. I haven't contacted him since and its breaking my heart. I'm also dealing with my husband, his father going through treatment for stage 4 lung cancer. Right now emotionally, I'm a total mess. Please advise. If possible I would love to do a virtual meeting with you. I truly like your style of communication. Blessed Be💜

[@youtubemariemorinestrangement]

If you are able to just say hello and not engage in a discussion about what happened then try texting. He sounds upset about something.

[@gailringwell6534]

It's time for u to do some self reflection. Did u hurt him too? If so, an apology should help.

[@annabarbieri4182]

What about when I, as the mother, told my adult daughter ,I couldn’t have a relationship with her because she always yells at me and makes me feel that I do not do anything right. I felt free when I did that, but its been a few months now and I am having 2nd thoughts.

[@youtubemariemorinestrangement]

Hi thanks for writing. Maltreatment goes both ways. Please get support in keeping boundaries. No one deserves to be mistreated.

[@lorymcfarrell]

What if there are grand children involed. So daughter not speaking to mother , but also not having news about grand children. What do you do ?

[@youtubemariemorinestrangement]

If the daughter has backed out of the relationship the grandparents can patiently wait. While waiting they can do their best to take care of themselves and do their best to not prolong the estrangement. It’s challenging to say the least. Many of the people I speak with pray. I don’t know what the details are regarding the relationship breakdown. Many adult children are asking for respect.

[@cindyski4413]

I’m thinking for the sudden stop talking especially if they live far away from you, they want to try things on their own. Maybe, without your advice. Maybe, deep down , don’t want you to find out something they are doing because they know you would not approve. Maybe, they don’t want to tell you how fast they moved on from one boyfriend to another. They don’t want to hear what you may say, because they know your logical way of thinking! 😊. Just have your own life! They will learn things the hard way if that’s what they want, instead of wisdom. Give them breathing space. Or maybe, they are just plain busy with lots of work, since most are starting their lives on their own!

[@youtubemariemorinestrangement]

Excellent points! Thanks for contributing a lot of wisdom and insights.

[@juror.13]

am i the only one who has no family or friends I feel like I am no wonder my kids cut me off. i am numb with pain and the grief is killing me.

[@DanielleMcGrew]

You are not the only one, my heart is littarely dying

[@patriciaheron8858]

Regarding my comment on the 29th. Our son told us he was sexually abused by our oldest daughter's girlfriend when he was about 6 years old. He says his dad, sister and I knew about it and addressed the situation with the girls parents. Unfortunately, the three of us have no recollection of this ever happening. I personally would not forget this type of situation since I was sexually abused my grandfather when I was 6-7 years old. Whenever any of my children were with anyone other than my husband and I we were always careful about something like this happening. I don't want to say to him that he's lying because that is not the right thing to do. Even though the 3 of us have no memory of this occurring, we have apologized. He just won't accept our apologies. I don't know what else to do.

[@youtubemariemorinestrangement]

I'm really sorry to hear this. I think you would benefit greatly by learning how to respond to your son. It sounds like he needs you to hear him. Also, if he wont accept your apology, give him some time and space. In the meantime, do your best to strengthen your self.

[@rrrj7816]

It sounds like your son is making something up to have a reason to keep himself angry to justify his decision. There is no way that three people wouldn’t remember such a traumatic event.

[@mccoolth]

It has been decided, the relationship is over between my daughter and I. I have let her go and moved on.

[@ravenclaw783]

A parent who gives up on their child never loved them in the first place which explains why your daughter decided to sever ties with you. "I have let her go and moved on." - your comment proves what your daughter knew all a long. Congratulations on ruining your daughters life, but I hardly think you'll lose any sleep over it.

[@rick5653]

I don’t know about all this. Personally, I feel like that’s groveling. I don’t mind groveling if I’m in the wrong. But I’m not groveling to have a relationship that they don’t want. Sorry it’s just how I feel.

[@youtubemariemorinestrangement]

Hi Rick: Thanks for writing. I respect your perspective. To each his own. Warmly, Marie

[@nancyzima7101]

Why do we have to make all the changes. Why are counselors therapists telling our adult children this is ok to disrespect and stop talking to the person that brought them into world and raised them

[@JHJones1333]

Dont understand why you said "to show you changed". Why is it assumed that the parent was the problem. Im my case my ex wife turned my childern against my in a divorce she wanted to be with anothet man. 18 yrs later my childern still view me as a person im not and will not speak to me.

[@youtubemariemorinestrangement]

Thank you for writing. What you’re describing is parental alienation. This video is focused on cut offs initiated because AC see their parents as having harmed them. When parents have been alienated it’s an entirely different situation. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Btw I’m not assuming just reporting on research of studied AC.

[@mitchellwheeler4901]

How come nothing in this video mentions taking accountability for what you did to your children? Lol

[@youtubemariemorinestrangement]

Hmm I think I talk about validating and apologizing. It’s definitely in the blog. If I missed it in the video my bad. Thanks for pointing it out.

[@mitchellwheeler4901]

@@youtubemariemorinestrangement I didn’t watch the whole video. I’m just being a dick 🤣 my bad

[@trinity2860]

That’s fine… then don’t talk to me but let me see my grandson. It’s not logical.

[@paddyb9930]

My adult son has rejected me and does not love me. Fortunately, I suppose, I'm 69 and won't be alive much longer. Then it won't matter.

[@inspectorbutters168]

over 40 years ago I rejected the women that gave birth to me (a mother implies a relationship). She lives within 25 minutes away and I have nothing to do with her. I do not want to associate with her and her husband. She has a grandson she does not know. Two years ago she not only had Covid but cancer. A plea was delivered to me. Too little, too late.

[@annrodriguez2891]

Found out my youngest son who hasn't spoken to me since Christmas is getting married in November..I am told he just has no space for me ..He is in a different state..i am beyond devastated 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

[@jubanlangsyiemlieh2398]

May be we are too obsessive about our children

[@Meanwoman666]

I love your videos they are so Frank. I'm feeling better already. Thank you. I really appreciate your wonderful way you communicate.