How To Cope With Betrayal Trauma

[@TheRisingFenix]

I wish I could get away from this man, but because he destroyed me financially, not only can I not get the help I need, but I can’t even get away from him. Not one break from him since I found out almost 3 years ago. No I am not the same woman. And honestly, I don’t wanna be who I was because that person allowed all of this to happen right under my nose. I was too stupid and had no discernment. I should’ve never given this man more than five minutes in my life let alone 20+ years. He has taken everything from me.

[@somewhereinthemidwest9827]

I’ve had two of them. Both marriages over 20 years each. I’m a 💩 magnet. I turn 65 in a couple weeks and what I want for my birthday is self esteem, peace and to be left alone. I desire no relationships with men. Or women. Zero. Nada.

[@nevillepitout1374]

Hi I have commented before. I have been the same. Feel pretty stupid. Best of all I discerned after 58 years with him...He didn't want to marry me. Also he cheated one week before the wedding. Sorry I didn't leave when I was young. Life isn't a do over. Really stuck. Lovely 3 grownup children. They really a blessing. Nevs mom.

[@ssweat1963]

38 years of his double life, intimacy anorexia, lies and betrayal and i didn't know.... Started to find out two years ago... Most recent disclosure was 6 months ago... I hate him and love him 😭

[@YAWNFILMZ]

I pray for all of you I feel the same feeling

[@marie-soleildauphinais9530]

Thank you so much 🙏 I might need neuromodulation. All is left within me is deep despair and rage against our lustful world.

[@DrDougWeiss]

You are so welcome. You can contact 719-644-5778, and we can answer any questions about the neuromodulation you may have. You can also call 719-278-3708 to get connected to one of our partner betrayal trauma therapists, join a support group, or learn more about our helpful and healing resources.

[@TheRisingFenix]

If he really wanted to help it would be more affordable…

[@marie-soleildauphinais9530]

@@TheRisingFenix I am the kind of person who works with those who can't afford expensive therapy because I believe that we, as human beings, should care more about our brothers and sisters' well-being than the money we can get from their suffering. Unfortunately, this is not the kind of world we are living in. I've been studying trauma for the last 2 years and all the amazing therapists and teachers I have studied with are extremely expensive. While many traumatized people can only rely on social services. Many of them can't even work. That's pretty unfair. But I still feel thankful for their knowledge and work. Most of these teachers /therapists have spent a lot of efforts and money themselves to be specialized. But yes, it's still a market relying on people's suffering and I don't approve this at all. But human beings should live in tribe, connected to nature, creating secure attachment with their fellows. The way we live right now goes against our real needs, including the way we help each other. Is it therapists ' fault ? I guess we are all responsible for the world we are living in... At least, the videos on KZbin are free. And we can learn a lot from them. Of course, it is still not therapy. But it's a first step.

[@JacylnFord]

Thank You

[@nevillepitout1374]

Dr. Weiss when a person gets landed with what I have no way can you shut up. I should have but it was unbelievable. First time I was 32 I cried for a year. Never forgot. Then more came out. I am still at his side and still don't want to be.

[@DrDougWeiss]

Your pain from this is real. I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this in your marriage. If we can help you in any way, please contact my office at 719-278-3708 and we can get you scheduled with one of our partner betrayal trauma therapists to help you process this and find healing. You don't have to be alone in this struggle. Consider checking out the Partner Betrayal Trauma book, the workbook, and 12 Steps which would bring you validation and guidance on working through this. www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-book/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-workbook/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-step-book/

[@hdmonster7665]

I thought there was something wrong with me! 😭

[@DrDougWeiss]

Betrayal trauma and the impacts it has on a person are more common than one may realize. If you need support, consider contacting my office at 719-278-3708 to make an appointment with a betrayal trauma therapist. You deserve to start healing in your life.

[@HIGHLANDER_ONLY_ONE]

My husband step mother manipulated his elderly father who was diagnosed with dementia, and a male "friend" of hers, and had him sign trusts and other documents, abd now that he's ready to go to a car home, they had him fire muy husks and all his siblings, and are planning on legally stealing all his businesses and millions of dollars, and my father in laws legacy. Before she came into our life not so long ago, everything was set up for my husband, who is ethixal, to take over the business and then my son, now it's all gone. It's sad, my husband and his siblings are so broken up.. He failed to protect his children!!! 😢😢😢

[@MaryNoonan-y1w]

So which do I attack first? Betrayal Trauma or the emotional and physical abuse that I experienced growing up. I was the Scape goat in a dysfunctional family with a Narcissist mother. Fifty two years of marriage to the man who managed to penetrate all the defense walls that I had built during a horrific childhood, who had affairs with total disregard for me or our children.

[@DrDougWeiss]

I would start with the betrayal trauma, then go into the family of origin. You would want to talk to someone certified in partner betrayal trauma. You can call our office at 719-278-3708 to get connected with a therapist in this. Depending on your situation, you might want to check out the Partner Betrayal Trauma book and workbook which would be useful for validation and guidance. www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-book/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-workbook/

[@barbaracaster5509]

I would love to read your books but they are only e-books and way out of most Americans price range at that. I don't have a computer or a printer and to pay like $20 for each e-book and then like $50 or more to print it myself, if I had a printer, when I can buy a real book and workbook that I can write in for a fourth of this from Amazon.

[@DrDougWeiss]

All of our books are available in physical and digital formats. You can go to our website to view our store or check out these products available on Amazon as well. www.drdougweiss.com/store/

[@jessiesheldon-huffey1824]

Have you ever had a man offer to compenstate you financially for passing him falsly on a polygraph? If so, how did you react?

[@menette_]

how much would it cost to have a consultation with you dr. Weiss? I don't have anyone to share about what I'm going through. My situation is so complicated, I don't know how to cope anymore

[@DrDougWeiss]

You can contact our office at 719-278-3708 and one of our staff can provide information about our available betrayal trauma therapists and support groups. You can also check out partnerbetrayaltrauma.org for additional resources that you might find helpful.

[@Leola-yk4oq]

I was married to my ex for 16 years then after our divorce we were good friends and still did stuff together then his ex friends girlfriend somehow got involved with her even after he used to call her nasty stuff and she is a very nasty person anyway but in 2022 he was with her but he did say he loved me but then after the night he said that i never saw him again until his brother in law was in the hospital he looked different and she was with him. I loved this man I really did 21 years together and then he abandoned me, threw me away and its been 2 and a half years since i was with him and i feel like he betrayed me I'am alone for the first time in my life it hurts and its horrible I'm only 53 and he is 61

[@alanmansell4297]

Men get betrayed too!

[@DrDougWeiss]

Yes, you are right in that men and women get betrayed and experience betrayal trauma. We have a video called "Can Men Experience Betrayal Trauma?" that you can check out here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oZ_Qomlog7xgfKs

[@joycereynolds9319]

I have no one i can trust, no one . And i dont trust any counselor either . Counslers are more than likely a women , and they want to make the women feel like she is over emphasizing and accusing. Besides a man that is sexuallly addicted at gazing at women and getting off dont need to be counseled by women. My husband would really love that, After 40 yrs im sure not the person i was when him and i first met . I unhappy . Not in this life . Ive lost 2 children to death ....lost 2 homes , he controls all the bills and money , if he were to pass away i would even know how or what bank to go to. and he has everyone in my family and his , and everyone else thinks he is such a well stable man . 😢 i have no place to go . I cant stand this pain any more

[@DrDougWeiss]

My heart goes out to you as I hear your story and the things that you have been through. It is clear that the betrayal trauma and the broken trust from his actions are a major factor right now. I understand that you are hurting, but I want you to know that healing is still available for you. You can check out the "Partner Betrayal Trauma" book and workbook, which are valuable tools designed to validate your emotions and offer practical guidance. www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-book/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-workbook/ You might also find the DVD "Why Do I Stay" useful as well: www.drdougweiss.com/product/why-do-i-stay-dvd/ As you work through the healing process, I would recommend getting support for yourself. You don't have to go through this alone. Here at Heart To Heart Counseling Center, we have both male and female therapists who are specially trained in partner betrayal trauma and sex addiction recovery. They would be able to validate what you have been through and compassionately walk with you through the process. If you're interested, you can call us at 719-278-3708 and my staff can answer your questions and concerns and help you get started. You can also join our Partners Facebook group as well to join a community of women for support if you're interested. facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa If your husband is willing, he could get with a male sex addiction recovery therapist who would hold him accountable to change and guide him through the recovery process.

[@ssweat1963]

My husband and I are working through 38 years of deception and betrayal start a to find out about it 2 years ago... I refuse to work with a female therapist! You are not wrong! A sex addict should not be working with a female therapist !!! I think it's easier to go than it is to stay... This is hard and I get really angry that I work so hard to make good choices in my life and this man put me in this position 😭

[@somewhereinthemidwest9827]

If he does it enough times you stop caring and loving. Still lies through his teeth but this time it doesn’t matter. He’s into men and I didn’t know that when I married him. 22 years in (my second marriage) and I am ready to jump ship.

[@DrDougWeiss]

Your pain from this is real and I'm sorry you've had to endure all this in your marriage. If my team can help you in any way, please reach out to our office at 719-278-3708 and they can get you connected with a partner betrayal trauma therapist. They will walk alongside you as you receive support and guidance to help you on your journey towards healing. You can also join our Partners Facebook group to connect with a supportive community of women: facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa I would check out the Partner Betrayal Trauma book and workbook, as they provide validation for your pain and help you work through the process. www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-book/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-workbook/

[@awash3444]

appreciate this information BUT men also experience this as well and we need more information from a male perspective 🙏

[@DrDougWeiss]

Yes, you are right in that men also experience betrayal trauma. Many of the things I mention in these betrayal trauma videos can apply to both. I do have a video called "Can Men Experience Betrayal Trauma?" where I solely focus on the male aspect of this: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oZ_Qomlog7xgfKs We also have a playlist of videos for betrayed men too: kzbin.info/aero/PLoQAJVqvxAfhtNr1iU_Ce4EXYpp-ylC-l&si=xWw8qeYUTzGaDFPg

[@67scout73]

Are there KZbin channels and professionals that help support male partners of intimacy anorexics?

[@DrDougWeiss]

I'm not aware of any other channels that do, but we have plenty of therapists who are certified in this that help both male and female partners of intimacy anorexics. You can call Heart To Heart Counseling at 719-278-3708 and we can get you connected with one so that you can start receiving support and heal from this. A lot of the information in the intimacy anorexia and betrayal trauma videos can be applied to both men and women. If you're looking for specific videos for men, you can check out this playlist for betrayed men: kzbin.info/aero/PLoQAJVqvxAfhtNr1iU_Ce4EXYpp-ylC-l&si=rX9iVf8Dn0FFMvn_

[@reginamiller6860]

Thank you