How Being Betrayed Changes You

[@woodrowcall3269]

It’s not the knife in your back that hurts. What hurts is when you turn around and see who’s holding the knife.

[@Ms.KristiandJesus]

Yea for sure

[@rarebreed-wj3ov]

No joke on 3-15-2022 I dreamed someone I knew who had betrayed me was trying twice to stab me to death. Trying to stab me with steak knives. I really dreamed this.

[@ETLGypsy]

😭🙏 I see you 💔❤️

[@indridcold8433]

I assured myself it will never happen again. After deleting all those connected in the horrible betrayal, out of my life, I had nobody, no friends, no girlfriend, not even regular acquaintances. I took the opportunity to start a new way of life. I never bothered to find new friends, girlfriend, regular acqaintences. Now, I am impossible to use, betray, and painfully abandon. There are also unforeseen benefits to being isolated. I doubt I will ever make friends with anybody ever again. Besides, I work nights, completely alone, and in an extremely isolated area. I go weeks without seeing humans. Humans have no biological imperative to herd together to be able to exist. I have been existing since the 8th of August 2000 at 18:34 and am far healthier this way.

[@dennism8346]

there is also the full frontal knife just as you look up.

[@genevieveraymond8326]

The worst part is ruminating about the betrayal and not wanting to think about it or talk about it but it just comes back at anytime ...

[@michellejohnsen912]

When I get thoughts I don't like, I literally say, No I don't agree with that and I choose to be thankful and forgive. It actually helps! Also, the renewing of my mind by reading the Bible is super valuable. Jesus helps me overcome things that I could never do on my own! Jesus is the best!

[@thebluebutterfly5177]

@@michellejohnsen912I completely agree. Betrayal has been the absolute worst experience I have lived out of all my experiences. But no one understands betrayal like Jesus Christ. It truly has been my daily bread. 🙏🏻❤️

[@michellejohnsen912]

@@thebluebutterfly5177 amen sister 🕊

[@MichelleVisageOnlyFans]

For me it's the anger. At the one who betrayed me directly at time when my mind starts ruminating and remembering, but also at anyone who only remotely acts or says things like the betrayer, I immediately jump up and am triggered and verbally aggressive towards them! While I could just let it go, they pose no threat to me by their behavior, I am in no way connected to them or in a position to be hurt by them, yet I react negatively because I am just so triggered when somebody behaves like my betrayer. I just can't control it! That's what bothers me!

[@lindamceachern5467]

There isn't anything wrong with you. It's what happened to you that was wrong. Big hugs ♥ it's a terrible psychological shock when something like that happens. It's a completely normal human reaction. Ironic how we know how to deal with physical shock but not mental shock and the grief process involved. Instead we have a tendency to further add salt to the wound by attaching a label causing you to be stigmatized by others as though there actually is something wrong with you. Everyone has an ego. Betrayal is the most painful ego death that a human being could ever suffer. It will keep on resurfacing until you can finally trust someone enough to talk to about it. It means you must be willing to allow yourself to be vulnerable and willing to trust again. Therapy helps. Most definitely. Just remember...it wasn't your fault you were betrayed by someone you loved ♥

[@Shelley-j2y]

Having been betrayed by my family has been the worst thing that has happened in my life. It's been 12 years and my life has never been the same. If you can't trust your family then who can you trust? I'm definitely not the same person I was before the betrayal.

[@Lyrielonwind]

Same here and I survived many betrayals from couples and friendnemies.

[@geraldfriend256]

It is brutal. And was done for sport. At least it helped open my eyes about how I choose/ have chosen people.

[@jude8132]

i'm so sorry, there is no greater pain or betrayal than to have ur family turn against u.

[@yourbeautybff]

Same

[@HopefulHealingGarden]

I'm so sorry this happened to you and to everyone else it has happened to. It has happened to me as well, and while my life is not perfect I do trust God and because of Him, I have been able to have some good experiences with some relationships. God is always there even when it seems like He isn't. I really appreciate everything Tim is teaching us all here. It is very helpful and I have hope that one day I will be fully healed. I have hope that the same will be true for you and everyone else. God Bless.

[@tinawhite8835]

I live alone and will from now on. I don't trust my ability to identify people who wish to destroy me. Relationships cause too much anxiety. If a man is not nice, I don't want to be around him. If a man is nice, I don't trust that he's sincere and not just setting me up. It causes too much anxiety. I don't expect anything from anyone. Yes, indeed, I lost my faith. I will never be the person I once was.

[@mysweetlife388]

I am in the same situation. Figuring out ways make my present and future brighter.

[@marciasimpson8852]

I feel the same, I dont trust my choices

[@angelawright7258]

That’s so sad I felt that.

[@kr0wn.aSSaSSin]

After being betrayed by countless partners & then my family.. for 4yrs everyday I studied narcissism, body language, behavioural analysis etc. (Just thru KZbin videos). Now I see red flags in almost every person I meet & it scares me. I also can spot genuinity from a mile away, but I’m too broken for those people. ~They deserve so much better than me. So I too stay alone.💔

[@Xzerbit]

Thats such a scary feeling, ive been there, the fear of it happening again and the what ifs, u can research here to help u on ur way, and trust ur gut, if something feels off, theres a reason for it, dont dismiss it for excuses u can brew up. trust u, and learn how to spot these monsters, everything from behavior to words they use, lack of emotion- s/al intelligence is also a big one, learn to see through the facade. all of this, it gives u a whole other level of peace, u might see red flags in everyone after, i did, but we all have some red flags, it doesnt mean were monsters, were "just" human beings, flawed. But through this process, u learn to spot the serious dangers, then walk away from it before it ever really begins, trust urself in this, and dont give up, u dont deserve that. best of luck

[@llpolluxll]

Jeez, this is like a laundry list of struggles I've faced growing up. My heart goes out to everyone who has gone through this. You are not alone.

[@robertmueller2023]

Far from it, even before going into action.

[@irenahabe2855]

ACA/ACoA 12 step program has a simmilar laundry list. Worth looking at.

[@rayc9899]

I refuse to be dictate by toxic humans, just move on with precautions and you will be o.k. Life is to short to be with naughty mind.

[@JoanMango]

Jeez is short for Jesus. When I went to heaven the Holy Spirit yelled out over and over Jeez and the next thing I knew I was in heaven in front of him and he took a tumor from me.

[@straitjacket1930]

Yes we are. He'll is other people and life is a waste of time.

[@melissaknight-howe9521]

You're explaining what happens in great detail. Being betrayed is an emotional, psychological, physical in many cases, & spiritual violation. Sometimes it causes a process of "the dark night of the soul". It takes decades to heal from repeated abuses. Standing up for yourself makes you feel almost like you're doing something wrong to someone else. That is self sabotage. You have to develop self love, and confidence, while keeping your heart soft while standing up for yourself. It's a long process, but it's worth going through, because you become a better human being. You didn't allow something you couldn't control, turn you into a narcissist, psychopath, or, sociopath, but a more empathetic human with stronger boundaries

[@AJLinthe5D]

Yes but some of us will die first. Lifelong major trauma causes sickness in every way and you don't get a whole lot better. At least that's what I know.

[@melissaknight-howe9521]

@@AJLinthe5D The important part is to do your own healing with the time you have. You can choose if you want to grow or stagnate. You only can discipline yourself, your reactions, your response, realize that you may have biases based on programming through social constructs & family experiences. We all suffer from something, you can choose to learn from life, or continue to attract the same situations until you choose to break free & change from the inside out. You do have that power inside of you.

[@GracieDontPlayDat]

@@AJLinthe5D. Fish oil. I think there is something to it with that part of the brain and the cell walls, but you have to take vitamin E periodically to avoid strokes. I am not a doctor, but if it is winter of the soul, then treat your nutrition like it is the middle of winter.

[@artdelgadillo2959]

It's devastating. You'll never be the same .

[@Jennifer-gr7hn]

it does feel like that... I was 'okay' until the last straw which took healthcare system leaving me for dead, friends left, which I'm not too good for this to happen, as Jesus alone is perfect, but.....I poured every time. I'm learning to pull back out of physical necessity, but I'm making and taking the good from it, open to love, but closed to abuse. Yes, it's devastating, and you're also right that it's never the same....you'll be BETTER! If you work through it. Hard but worth it. Prayers for you, please, prayers for me. Jesus knows better than anyone.

[@nicholecornes1915]

Its makes cringe 😢

[@tamiduncan777]

😢🙏

[@tamiduncan777]

​@Je😢nnifer-gr7hn 🙏😢

[@gloriadenning3860]

The last enemy were my own blood, talk about having the enemy within..........

[@orangeorangeness2116]

I’ve been dealing with betrayal since being 3 years old. Parents, siblings, cousins, neighbors, friends, boyfriends, employers, coworkers. Absolutely everyone. I cant with things life anymore.

[@dianebloyer8721]

Welcome to the real world you are not alone.

[@oozy-e9b]

@@orangeorangeness2116 you were targeted as a scapegoat. This wasnt about you.😇

[@oozy-e9b]

​@@Thequietestquiet2875 i do..😊

[@vikingprincess634]

The shame is often overbearing - feeling ugly, boring, uninteresting, etc. Then you withdraw into yourself and stay there.

[@millie9814]

They’re the boring ones, doing what most people do nowadays, being fake and weak

[@genaknight9451]

Even more so when you get told you are those things afterward.

[@highplainsdrifter699]

Once you figure out human nature youve got it made. Been betrayed more times than i care to remember, family romantic partners and the whole nine yards .As a senior on the autistic spectrum Im done with people, got a dog, best decision ever 🐕🇬🇧

[@thatswhatisaid8908]

I still like people, but most of them need to be at least at arm's length. And they wear me out, so I don't want to be around them too much. But I have a cat, and he makes me laugh.

[@yamino9sai]

Same but got a cat, treating her like she’s my daughter

[@4fsake2024]

I love my single life with just a dog and a cat. I learned healthy boundaries and walk away if I see any signs of toxicity from friends. I don't feel lonely. After the last deep betrayal, I didn't feel lonely, I felt freedom.

[@SamJone2024]

I feel the same way. Partner is a little different as I feel it’s easy to get over and break up with them. Family (siblings in my case) is a little different as I kept going back and wanting to have a relationship with them but it’s good for a while and then the cycle repeats either they make me feel like an afterthought and won’t contact unless they want/need something. I go to roller coaster of depression about this and it is hard to cut contacts. I almost feel like I’m gaslighning my own self because I try to reason with myself and depend them. 😢

[@jac1161]

that dog won't advocate for you when you're older and sick

[@doublecomplex4741]

Viewers should remember that betrayal trauma doesn’t have to come from a romantic relationship, but even when it does it will affect friendships too.

[@user-cg8if3eq7d]

If you stay objective, really, the disappointment factor is so pervasive, you can't even look at someone whose thrown you to the wolves, especially if it's been intentional or has surfaced as a pattern. Once you see that level of disingenuousness exposed, you cant bear to even look at them because you don't want to see the dark hole in thier soul they they initially hid. It's heart breaking to see the beautiful shell that fell away in hindsight, with every falsehood they spoke. But, they have to live with who they choose to be and thankfully you don't.

[@rayc9899]

They do not give a shit about the destroy they are involve, no remorse even please with themself, it is all about control and to win no matter what. RUN FOR THE HILL ASAP when you see the red flag and they are always present.

[@peachesandpoets]

So hauntingly beautiful what you wrote is. True

[@kr0wn.aSSaSSin]

I wish my family could see their fault, but they don’t. ~or at least they pretend not to. They all stick together & twist everything around to make out it’s all me & I’m just crazy. Unfortunately I do live with who they are. Alcohol truly destroys families.

[@lishik7712]

Well said.

[@kylesweeney3059]

this is true. They have to be with themselves. I reached a point of mostly empathy because of that surprisingly. And have been letting go of resentment while putting boundaries in. The resentment only eats you alive. The abuser actually enjoys any attention, positive or negative. To stop giving them power you see just how insecure they were. Kind of like noticing you were having to be the parent all along and manage their emotional states for them. You can do that for yourself now and a lot of things; since likely you have skills and experience of adulting from a young age. We were exposed to such negativity so young. It can get to a point where you view it as a superpower when dealing with problems now.

[@ramassist2]

The longer that you were cheated on before you discovered it, the greater the wound.

[@froyo9674]

@@ramassist2 Not necessarily

[@peachesandpoets]

This makes me feel less insane. Thanks

[@user-nd3tg5zn1b]

My heart was broken and I am hoping to recover! I can say right now I don’t think I can trust anyone anymore ever

[@lwells3937]

This is more than your partner, this can go back to being scapegoated by your family.

[@ebonyapplepy3906]

Bingo! I'm the scapegoat in my family and I keep picking narcissist bcz their treatment feels familiar to my mother's treatment. I was seriously betrayed by my family of origin back in 2013 and got the scars on my face and heart to prove it. Ten years ago, I met a guy in a Facebook group and he proposed to me within 3 days, I went to Virginia to meet him and married him the next day. It took only 9 days from meeting him to marrying him. I was alone, ostracized from my family, ni one to ask me the normal questions that a concerned parent or best friend would do. I didn't trust anyone of my coworkers nor my relatives anyway so when my ex-husband begged me to move to Virginia to help him raise his two young children, I dropped everything and moved to Virginia. No job, no car, no plan, just love, hope, and trust in God. Ten days later my groom abandoned me, dumped me, and left me with only the $749 that I put towards the rent for our basement apartment that we had to leave. I was primed by my narcissistic borderline mother to not trust my inner alarms, just give and don't expect much in return. Two months after being abandoned and finally getting divorced. I met a male assistant manager at a women's clothing/accessories store at a mall. We became fast acquaintances. He was married but his wife and daughter were in Egypt. We were platonic friends and I was healing and moving on from my divorce. The night before moving into a shelter in another Virginia, the guy sexually attacked me in the employee bathroom in the back of his store. I was terrified to trust anyone, especially friendly guys. For 7 years I didn't date and abstained from sex. In 2021, I was ready to dip my toe in the dating pool and have sex again. I met a guy on Facebook Dating and we were intimate right away. He dumped me because I wouldn't take the morning after pill. So I had to deal with another abandoned while waiting to get my period. He called me 6 months later to give me clothes that he stole to bait me back to his house. I told him he could keep it and blocked him. The next time I gave a guy a chance was 5 months ago. I was guarded and fully aware of narcissistic traits and behaviors but somehow I let my recent ex love-bomb me and he did me dirty as well. So that's 3 narcs in ten years. I'm in my healing journey and trying to heal from my betrayal trauma from my parents and brother.

[@DelphineTheWorstBladeEver]

Betrayal trauma can come from anyone who deceived you in any way. Even at work or with neighbors. I feel that's not talked about enough. It's only really talked about with partners and cheating. Kind of annoying for people like me who do experience this because of being a scapegoat.

[@lwells3937]

@@DelphineTheWorstBladeEver that's got to be the most debasing part of humanity. It can lead to exterminating a whole race of people.

[@AffectionateSeaOtter]

I am willing to bet it always goes back to being mistreated one way or another by a toxic / dysfunctional family since childhood.

[@georgiehughes4858]

Also being seriously betrayed by husband’s adult family!

[@joelunchbucket]

Raising plants can be therapeutic. Feedback is slow, and forgiveness for mistakes can show quickly. The rewards can be a beautiful bloom, or a tasty food ingredient. It's nice to be outside too.

[@camlacasse3760]

LOL, I am now 82 and I often joke that an angel must have stamped my little rump BETRAYAL as I was so betrayed in my lifetime. Being betrayed is no fun.

[@pixie3458]

As a child I felt that there was a bad fairy at my crib. My mother admitted when she was old that she was verbally cruel to me when I was a child. So I was pretty accurate

[@sittingstill3578]

Buying unnecessary purchases may be a way to get access to things that will remain. The purchases may represent things you enjoy but also things that you hope to use when you regain your ability to be creative again. Those items are sitting there for the time when things get better even though they may never actually be used. They can represent a desire to feel again because they are connected to things that you remember being enjoyable.

[@flash_flood_area]

Yes, I paid for some online workshops last fall, that I haven't even opened up yet. I wish I had the money back, because I sure could use it right now. I realized immediately that I had bought the workshops in a bid to give loving care to myself, because the person I loved was treating me like human garbage

[@monicaramirez51015]

Omgosh this explains why I buy things that give me a sense of future hope that I will get through the freeze state of betrayal trauma 😮thank you for sharing 😊I AM not alone❤

[@syzygy4365]

I don't think this works in my case. I bought mine so I could keep my dream job. Strange how that turned out.

[@BlueJeansandJellyBeans]

This was me. I would purchase things with a future vision of when I could wear/use them. And they just sat there. I am glad I finally saw what it was. I really don't buy much other than gas and groceries. Sometimes a piece of clothing but rare anymore.❤

[@katherinealba6768]

​@@flash_flood_area This is not a good idea.

[@jonicampagnini5102]

I have great news but let me start by saying this video of Tim’s is the icing on the cake. What I mean is I too was betrayed by my parents then by every relationship that I have been in. I am 62 years old and for the last 10 years, I have been doing my spiritual work meaning looking at my shadow side and dealing with The reasons that others have hurt me and my reaction to them. It’s very simple and please open your mind and your heart when you read this. The spirit world is real. Satan tells us lies and presents us with things that look good then uses it against us. God gives us free will to decide what kind of person we wanna be. Some people decide to hold on to the pain and anger and hurt other people while Others choose to use that pain to grow. I am here to tell you healing is possible because I have healed from my traumas. I had every single one of these symptoms on Tim’s list and listening to this list this morning I just shook my head and I thanked God that I’m not in that space anymore. We come into this world, fresh and clean and with a purpose from God. And right away Satan is jumping on us first with our parents and so on and so on. My theory is that the people who have a higher purpose and an important purpose in this world, Satan attacks at a very young age to make sure he can keep us down. I finally stood in front of the mirror and looked at myself and said no way, he is not going to win, I am not abandoning my purpose and God, and everything he throws at me I will overcome. Because it only makes me stronger, and now I am. If there’s one message, I can leave to all of you please please please do not let Satan and all his bullshit diminish your light, your faith, your hope, and your purpose. You are in a spiritual warfare, so put on your armor, pick up your sword and your shield and fight back. God must have something very special planned for you or Satan would not be trying so hard to destroy you. Many blessings to all of you and God be with you.❤

[@MaggieC21]

@@jonicampagnini5102 The experience of internal warfare IS a symptom of trauma. Your mind finds its own way to bring meaning and understanding of that internal pain state. Yours is a religiously influenced understanding. For me, that is like transferring the betrayer from human to devil. It doesn’t offer me any peace. Yet for you, it appears to have. Only the future will show the actual ramifications or freedom from trauma effects.

[@Becca0082]

No weapon formed against me shall prosper.....

[@drivethruabortion280]

Stupid

[@GodsChosenMekAmoR]

Factssssssss!!!!

[@jamesdiamond2302]

How do I get the trust back from a woman whom I've done this to? It's killing me softly

[@Becca0082]

@@jamesdiamond2302 I'm so sorry. Praise God you have this conviction and want to change. All I can say is allow God to work in you now. Love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind and resources. Not in hopes only you'll gain trust back, but in hopes that God will workout everything for good because you love and trust Him only. Which is why you put Him first. His will be done.

[@JT-OB]

​@@jamesdiamond2302 the first step is knowing you don't deserve to ever have anyone's trust ever again.

[@ace7821]

The worst part is it severely damages very important people who devote their lives to helping others. It’s crazy it’s truly like there is evil out there trying to crush good. The damage has huge implications on brain structure and function. I know as a neuroscientist and psychiatrist. I treat patients all over the country and there just aren’t enough good doctors out there combining therapy with treatment. The damage is very real and it has to be treated for recovery.

[@firewoman13merica65]

Thank you !

[@AJLinthe5D]

I've needed good "mental help" for most of my life (I'm 65) and I have not found it yet despite going to many. If you have money I would think you could find someone decent.

[@AJLinthe5D]

I forgot to say that there's a lot of evil out there destroying good people. There needs to be a way to get narcissists into treatment because they are the evil ones who are destroying good people and often ruining their entire lives.

[@susanjohnson8290]

This was my youth…..that I thought I worked through until I realized afte 25 years of marriage it was my husband too. I have been to at least 10 counselors in the last 10 years and they did absolutely nothing for me. I’ve resigned myself to thinking betrayal is around every corner, I’m just going to hide a home by myself, and I will be depressed for the rest of my life. I numb with the internet.

[@samporter2146]

Discovering a lifetime of serious betrayal did literally blow my mind and heart . I wish there was more literature on this actual physical damage . And I also wish this damage could be recognized legally so that reparations could be sought for treatment options. This is a last bastion of unregulated abuse.

[@LadyDazzleDance]

This is me right now. It's been 4 weeks since I found out about all the lies. I'm devastated! I've lost 20 lbs. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I'm a complete mess. I feel heartbroken and crushed.

[@kurts605]

How are you doing now?

[@tmad665]

@LadyDazzleDance i hear ya. Im still struggling. I started complaining 3 yrs ago. N it continued till now. Hang in there. No one is better than you. NO ONE ! Try to move forward and find what you love in this life.

[@adinabishop2268]

Please try to see a counselor. Take good care of yourself.

[@laraoneal7284]

When we’ve been betrayed to the max by a parent, it just never ever goes away. It causes insurmountable pain. It affects ever facet & crevice of our lives.

[@alicearcturus8610]

I have suicidal ideation but then I remind myself I'm free. All those years, 25, of settling for a marriage that was awful in a quiet desperate way. He left me penniless. He left when I couldn't work and my savings was gone. But I'm free! I have most of these symptoms that were listed. I live for my pets. They need me. I struggle to feed them. My most helpful phrase I repeat...it is what it is, accept it. I'm older and don't have much hope in ever being happy or secure again. I find moments of joy with pets and nature. Life is hard. For everyone.

[@Relaxingwithpigeons]

I am living for my animals too and my mother. So we have to keep going don't we. I lost my home too and do not have enough money to get my own home. So I have to live with my brother and his wife and my mom lives there too. I feel like an intruder. So sad most of the time. Even though I have therapy, on meds, have family emotional support. I still am so sad. I was with him for over 25 years.

[@Xzerbit]

Life is damn hard, yes. but giving up doesnt help u either, we define how we want our lives and then work towards reaching that goal, that will be damn hard too, but beats settling for hopelessness and contentment of current situation, yes?

[@michellezoske7581]

Yes me too I have 3 chawhatevers Their names are Eeny, Meanie, and the girl is Mo

[@Francie315]

I know it has definitely changed me! I am slow to let people in my life and quick to cut them out! I have no family ties!

[@saulbeiza7303]

Good you can finally start being yourself

[@MarthaBenefield]

Same here.I am 84 and it has all been just to much.At this age there is no hope.I am content to just be alone.

[@fluffedsquirrel]

​@@MarthaBenefield There is hope at any age, just gotta know where to look, to find new friends/partners.

[@justice8563]

I’ve been betrayed by almost everyone in my life. The worst has been my family of origin and acting like “oh well” about it. The struggle to trust anyone has been hard to come back from. I’m better off by myself because it’s never how people will betray, it’s when.

[@AJLinthe5D]

I hear you and I could have written that myself. Being treated like dirt by my partner was bad enough but my whole family's betrayal was much worse.

[@Marlene-esth]

Sounds Like mylife ...i Always isolated myself

[@ajh3301]

This is so good! My husband left after 24 years together without expressing why and without allowing any discussion. I found out later that there was someone else in the picture. To complicate matters, I have an autoimmune disease that has caused some disability so I felt betrayed on many levels. I experienced most of the issues on those lists but didn’t know they were normal or common which added a layer of complexity in that I felt guilty for feeling what I was feeling. I got the sense that I should “get over it” or that I should be done grieving by now. I needed to talk about it but people would get so uncomfortable that I felt I couldn’t. So hard! Thank goodness I found an excellent therapist. It took me three years to heal enough to try relationship again. Five years post divorce I am remarried and doing well. It still hurts but less often and less intensely.

[@StarCoded]

You could consult a Registered Homeopath about the auto-immune. Fairly affordable, absolutely safe, and simple drops.

[@radharaj9586]

Please help someone let me know true reason for affairs they blame their spouses for their mistakes, just mentally killing, they are not even transparent

[@thatswhatisaid8908]

Not just betrayal. Abuse, too.

[@kellbell7518]

I've been cheated on and then left for another woman twice from my last 2 significant relationships. I recently realized it was an unnatural ending. I was left mourning the loss of both of these men but they never mourned the loss of me. It has hit me differently since then.

[@CebimdekiTelefon69]

What made you think they never mourned your loss?

[@Gotoworkkk]

Sometimes people are just not meant to be in relationships❤ I’m definitely one of them.

[@teutonic4270]

@@Gotoworkkk but do you have to? because the cheaters should be the ones that aren't meant to be in a relationship imo...they will probably repeat their toxicity again and again

[@Gotoworkkk]

@@teutonic4270 absolutely not. You could do whatever you’d like to do. Not everybody is a cheater. I, personally just don’t do well with relationships.

[@blinkyy1088]

@@teutonic4270 They probably meant they are a cheater themselves

[@abbykoop5363]

My mouth was hanging open that i could relate to all except the sexual abuse part. I deal with people if i have to, but i will choose animals over people any day.

[@AllisonGiordano-id5pq]

Same

[@TreasureDeal]

Me too!

[@got2kittys]

Betrayal can cause an emotional PTSD, that takes as big a toll as physical trauma.

[@danwelterweight4137]

Absolutely. You are so right. I felt exactly like that. It took me years to get over it. But now I am good.

[@arsenelupiniii8040]

Best part is once you have been hurt like that, you never have to take anyone else seriously, ever again.

[@radharaj9586]

Facing the trauma don't know whether it's physical or mental trauma 😢

[@bryanthuskey1245]

How can we continue to think more positive.

[@bryanthuskey1245]

Positive?

[@cynthiapedram1779]

I have been betrayed by husband on numerous occasions unfortunately still with him despite all the hurt and betrayal I endured we just live as flat mates virtually seperated just living in the sane house due to kids:finance etc issues but Desperate to get out some how soon and not to have to constantly be facing my betrayer and be reminded of this negative stuff. It’s very humiliating and degrading in a way to know your living with some one who has caused so much trauma and pain in your life.😢

[@21m455]

God I couldn't, your stronger than me, I would need to leave

[@shwetaprabhu6754]

They don't trust you either

[@superpachelle]

It won’t get better 21 years just got worse nothing you do will ever be enough until you leave and even after then they want to see you gone permanently. That is the whole agenda these people are not human they are dealing with demonic entities. 👹Please be safe!🙏🏽❤️

[@superpachelle]

dominic

[@doinkclown1981]

I’ve been through similar. I stayed for 5 years because of the kids. Found out of a betrayal in 2015 and talked with her and forgave her within a month somehow. And then on October 12, 2019 things seemed off and I found out that she had never stopped cheating and it grew exponentially. Saw videos of her having sex with others on her phone. I tried staying because of the kids and spent over ten grand on counseling and medicine. And then in august of 2022 I realized that she will never change. I wish I had left on day one in 2015. I would be in a much better place today.

[@boomersD9CAT]

It’s been 18 months, and I don’t know if I’ll ever come to terms with what she’s done. My Confidence is in the gutter,I don’t socialize or even call my friends back. I stepped back from running my business, and nothing seems to excite me. The only thing keeping me going is working out in my basement gym *alone* so I can collect my thoughts. Things have gotten a little better since the initial shock, and I feel like I will eventually turn a corner thanks to my faith. 🙏🏼

[@StarCoded]

Arm yourself with the skills and knowledge for quickly recognising the traits of a narcissist personality disorder (manipulative, exploitative, false ally / abuser). There are many videos and interviews on this topic (KZbin).

[@HikerGirl-ct3nd]

I am going through exactly the same right now and only things keeps me going is working out

[@manichairdo9265]

It was about her. Not you. I hope you can get to the place where she has no further negative power over you. Maybe one day you can resume the friendships you have since rejected.

[@suzannortega6671]

Surrender , have no expectations & get out of your own head. You are not the problem & this plan will bring you peace moving forward..

[@suzannortega6671]

You are NOT the problem.

[@Chippy88]

This is 100% me! And I can tell you, I know I will never recover completely from the betrayal that I went through in my life

[@jo-annahicks3324]

One of the best explainations of he effects, & symptoms of Betrayal Trauma I have ever heard...spot on!

[@brettanderson4021]

Those who betray are the one's with the problem, so don't take it personally, it's about them Being betrayed teaches you how to spot a betrayer, so learn, be discerning, and only trust those who have shown you they're trustworthy Actions speak louder than words

[@lewkaplanski7616]

THIS!!! You nailed it perfectly! Wonderful job!!! 👏👏👏

[@MollyLuella]

Very well articulated.

[@angelawright7258]

Yes but they lure you in with their actions .

[@scottoz7891]

Well said my friend ❤.

[@GodsChosenMekAmoR]

Love this!

[@michaelcohen7343]

My heart is broken

[@Cass_772]

I have been betrayed by both parents, my son, customers I thought was friends... I just can't trust anyone... I experienced almost all of the symptoms displayed, it's crazy.. I stopped drinking that year and still sober 2 years and a half later and I am pretty proud of it. I cut ties with everyone one by one in the year that followed and find it really peaceful to be alone since. I found a good therapist who's really understanding and reassuring and it helped me so much. I went from doing nothing, not eating, not bathing, nothing for more than a year and a half (except when I had too) and now, I eat again, discovered sewing, painting on Skillshare and it saved my life. Really! I never thought I could come back from this darkness and I did but I won't be able to trust again. I know it in my soul.

[@Lioness_of_Gaia]

Good job and congratulations on your sobriety and healing journey!

[@Cass_772]

@@Lioness_of_Gaia thank you so much 🙏

[@galhits]

Glad you healed. You are not alone.

[@angelawright7258]

I love this so well done to you I’m in recovery it’s like a new world you can’t put up with the things you once did. Good luck💓😊

[@Cass_772]

@@galhits thank you!

[@louisetaylor6952]

If you never get over the betrayal and you let it change you permanently, they win! You are strong enough to not let that happen...

[@cynthia7564]

Yes, but if the betrayers were your parents (from your earliest moments on earth), your entire life is circumscribed. Therapy and prayer certainly help, but grief persists....deep grief.

[@louisetaylor6952]

@@cynthia7564 Hi Cynthia, why not get a really good physical checkup ...everyone deserves that...do what you need to do to be healthy...this will help you see things clearly and make good decisions...

[@Sarah-with-an-H]

​@@cynthia7564 This I've been grieving for 40 years over these things. It's hard to get past not mattering that my safety as a child was an afterthought and mattered so little compared to certain people accepting her and manipulating her into wanting to allow her daughter to lack safety.

[@galhits]

It doesnt matter.

[@alexedgar6539]

People are free to choose loyalty or betrayal, good or bad, relationship or leaving at each step. Now I specify loyalty in my relationships and make it clear that's what I expect. I'm still trusting by nature, thank God!

[@emilysnyder4857]

I've struggled with all these things. I'm trying to find healing. I'm glad this guy dropped into my feed.

[@SPT90]

The above traumas signs spoke to me immensely 😢😢

[@giselamarch1994]

It weakened my Immune System, My nervous system, gave ulcers. And all this in addition to most of the symptoms you mentioned. The autoimmune illness is the worst. It can't be healed.

[@bigthunder7002]

Yes it can, the Lord is a Lord of restoration!

[@marciestoddard730]

It actually can be reversed and healed.

[@ZeroOne130]

@@marciestoddard730 How?. Going to doc. They just give u painkillers.

[@runswithraptors]

​@@ZeroOne130positive thoughts

[@ZeroOne130]

@@runswithraptors Oh!. I never had those. Since my life has gone haywire. Court, financial problems. health problems, unemployed and other stuff.

[@ToFightTheGoodFight]

I have experienced betrayal 4 times . .. I have become super resilient. No emotional ransom works on me. God is awesome 👌

[@ginnymobley8246]

Once you learn how he loves you.That's what love is you on that

[@carenboston2996]

Amen 🙏

[@adamanderson8838]

Same.

[@jac1161]

That's great but don't lose empathy, compassion and patience for those who had maybe more, worse, more horrific such as being left home to die and betrayed by healthcare, and laypeople..... God is still awesome, even when I'm in a dark, bruised, very destroyed place. I'm SO thankful He takes me the longhand, painful way around so I can remain empathetic and sensitive to others, not spiritually gaslighting them or making them feel something is wrong with them if they believe in God but did have "emotional ransom." Trauma changes the brain and sometimes the nervous system has to be healed as well. When betrayal comes with physical abuse and domestic violence from home to the worlplace to the healthcare system? It adds up and it's over 44 for some of us. God is still awesome.

[@wicked1172]

@@ginnymobley8246 ?

[@Marsawd]

Wish I’d had these videos years earlier. Thank you for putting them on KZbin.

[@MissSways.]

I think it’s reasonable to assume that most, if not all, people will experience some type of betrayal in their lifetime. God is the only One you can trust. Thank God he created animals (especially dogs) because they are the most loyal and loving creatures. I trust animals more than humans 🙏❤️🐶

[@joleenspelbrink3265]

Me too!

[@AJLinthe5D]

Dogs rule! 🐶🐕🐩🦮🐕‍🦺😅😊

[@garnetandgold07]

After giving my kids everything I worked for and being there for every need, when I broke my ribs they just left me. I wasn't valuable anymore so they want nothing to do with me since I need some help. It's been awful. Worse than death.

[@kr0wn.aSSaSSin]

It sucks to give ur family ur all just for it to be *crickets* once ur the one in need of help. It is like a death.💔

[@CeciliaAdrio-ek5iq]

So sorry to hear that 😢💕

[@GloriousVictorious]

It's happened so many times I just go straight to numb and that's where I stay

[@Lauren-i8i]

💔😢❤

[@gracerules2423]

Same.

[@lafytaffy1220]

Tough but true. I've just accepted that we live in a world of sinners and I've adjusted my expectations and boundaries accordingly.

[@monicam8408]

Functional Freeze?

[@Canaday291]

This describes Exactly what being married to a malignant narcissist caused . He was not only abusive mentally and physically, but he also cheated and abandoned my 3 young children and I . Immeasurable irreparable damage he caused including dismantling our family on his self serving destructive path as ironically he’s still the only one happily thriving in his carefree world.

[@kateb7155]

Gosh you just described my father (he died 25 years ago). Everything you said about the impact of his abandonment on the family is spot on. I have to counsel you to keep your children close to safe male friends and family members. They need healthy male influence in their lives. I was a single mother of a daughter who is now 30 and I see the negative outcome of her not having that throughout her childhood. Plus my and my siblings' childhood outcomes due to the same. (We had mostly unsafe males in our childhood which was not my daughter's experience.)

[@WH012Vids]

You may think he’s happy, but narcissists are sad empty people. That’s why they cause so much destruction. They just will never show it because of their ego and pride.

[@scottydont7904]

Ten years and I still cant get over it. Ive been scammed before but when my brother betrayed me and now because I brought it up Im considered a jerk by my brothers family. It changes you . Now I dont care what anybody thinks, my brother and I know the truth.

[@Steve20333]

I have every symptom on the screen ! Im beginning to understand what's been happening to me ! I feel relieved ! Finally, im beginning to see clear ! Great video ! Thank you!

[@courtneybrubaker9738]

This has been the deepest wound- betrayed my parents, especially mom and dad would back her no matter what. It’s left my trust bucket empty.

[@caroleminke6116]

Trust yourself ❤️‍🩹 you’ve got this!

[@saulbeiza7303]

Yep, I feel the same way as you

[@Lyrielonwind]

I have survived couple and friendship betrayal trauma but the last one I have come to realized, mother and siblings betrayal is the one that has sent me to a deep hole I don't know how to get out. It's the ultimate betrayal 😢 Five years and counting

[@thebluebutterfly5177]

I don’t know about anyone else, but in I don’t want to have this. I’ve done Harbouring Hope with Affair Recovery and they cover things in a great way. But Jesus Christ as I’ve just said further up has been such a help. He takes the weight of expectation that I’m meant to have it. That doesn’t mean I give any responsibility that I need to take on myself but the stuff outside of that in betrayal can very often be too much. I do empathise, have gone through those very same feelings of feeling I’ve nothing left. Praying and sending you love ❤️🙏🏻

[@ndl78]

@@Lyrielonwindyou must be the scapegoat because same 😢

[@zaram131]

Every thought you’re saying out loud is true. I feel all of these all the time.

[@AugustSun_3]

Thank you for this one. I didn't realize all of the ramifications, and how much I need to understand my own reactions better.

[@angiespiva5304]

The betrayal in my life brought me to the emotional pain to where I finally reached out for help. I finally realize that the betrayal was actually me. Not an easy thing to take in yet. I know that it wasn’t my fault. Re-Reparenting has helped me to learn that I don’t have to go through this again, not in the way that I was doing it. Listening to Tim has made me realize all the unsafe people that I have normalized and put in my life. I now know what is familiar and I now know the partners that I pick are unsafe.. I also now know that I can trust my intuition and I can trust myself and I can speak up for my emotions and feelings and set boundaries so I can keep myself safe. Discernment is key.

[@SantalenaMe]

Thank You, Tim F., for your exceptionally developed skill at putting this type of information into easily learned tools. Your Life is making a profound and positive difference in so many lives, including mine and those whom I touch and Love. Keep growing and sharing. Eternally appreciated. 🙏🏽❤️🦋

[@caryngayfield6218]

My mother was a narcissist and my father was an alcoholic who abandoned me and my two brothers as children. I do not think betrayal trauma ever completely goes away.

[@StarCoded]

I know someone with the same story (then she married an equally bad abuser). She now says, the only person who could help her is a hypnotherapist whose practice is called Spirit Release Therapy / Spirit Release And Psychotherapy.

[@sarahalderman3126]

Damn, this describes my entire life experience. From toddlerhood on, sexual abuse, physical abuse, violence always present, repeated medical trauma from anaphylaxis, repeated joint dislocation (extremely painful), surgical infections, seizures and then brain surgery… all before I was 21. Got married to my high school sweetheart, who cheated with multiple women, including my sister and friends. My life has been a nightmare and a waste. I am tired and sick of trying. I don’t care anymore. I am done trying for everyone else’s comfort. I am doing only what I absolutely HAVE to. I paid off my home, quit driving due to seizures, and spent twenty years supporting my cheating husband. He can pay the bill until I die. Idgaf anymore.

[@bjacob9998]

Sarah, Im so sorry. What kind of people see this going on and don’t offer help? Many women are tricked back by forgetting/death. I pray some good people will come to you and that doesn’t happen. I do gaf about you. Sending love🙏💐

[@danieljoseph2617]

You really are loved, by the millions of us out there that have gone through betrayal, not the same situation but betrayal. God be with you, He can truly be a balm for the soul if allowed in. He is the only thing that has brought back emotion to me, in His perfect timing. (Jesus).

[@cindirose3390]

Large parts of our lives get cut out after betrayal, like churchbor social groups, relations with relatives or co-workers, sometimes we have to leave our homes or even towns, and we have to re-evaluate how we make new relationships, and we don't trust ourselves in the future. Many of us end up disconnected to our families and friendlesd. A large part of our self-confidence is cut out from our souls. Betrayal probably damages us as much as a heart attack event. Becoming a cynical person is tge longterm effect, what a loss.

[@jenkinsheinrich9009]

Hello Rose, how are you

[@scottallen5269]

To be stripped of your ability to give and love the way you once did, is the worst part for me. Oh… and the suicidal thoughts, that had a rope around my neck and rocking back bed forth on a chair, and also playing Russian roulette a handful of times. I’m past those lows but it still scares me that I could even go there. Good video… thank you for sharing

[@GramCracker77]

I am so glad you survived those evil temptations!!

[@scottallen5269]

@@GramCracker77 thank you… nice to actually hear that. Hope peace stays with you on your journey. Sending you good vibes!!!

[@GramCracker77]

@@scottallen5269 thank you!! This journey is tough. I couldn't make it without Jesus!! What doesn't kill you truly does make you stronger!

[@scottallen5269]

@@GramCracker77 agreed!!! I think HE, is the only strength and hope that gets me through it. Health first Happiness always

[@GramCracker77]

@@scottallen5269 Im so HAPPY to hear that!! 💞

[@lushpaw1]

That list of symptoms at 0:02 is spot on. This was at a teaching hospital in Detroit (Harper Hutzel). Went in for a hysterectomy for cancer a few weeks ago. Even tho I was calm and non-combative.. I was given Versed (relaxant, causes amnesia) in the pre-op room before I'd even signed my consent forms. I don't really remember signing them. This is unlike me.. I read Everything. I was so focused on the IV in the back of my hand and how much it hurt and being afraid to pop the vein that it never occurred to me that I was signing consent forms. I don't remember the trip to the OR. I vaguely remember switching to the OR bed because they wouldn't let me stand.. I had to slide over and my gown, blanket and IV's (one in each hand) got tangled. Then the nurse that dosed me in pre-op dosed me again and that's where my memories end until PACU. Even tho I had brought this up to the surgeon at a previous appt.. That I did Not want this to happen to me.. and he'd replied with a smile that they would need consent for that.. The surgeon took this opportunity to obtain verbal consent to let a line of students do pelvic/rectal exams on me while under anesthesia for teaching purposes. tho I'm not sure I was under anesthesia when it happened.. I got to the OR at 8am.. I wasn't put under anesthesia until 9:24am. In my records it says I went from pre-op to OR and then was put under.. no where does it account for the 90 minutes I was amnesic. I have no idea what they did to my body in that time. The nightmares are severe. I sleep at most 2 hours a night. I cry all the time. I have to have Brachytherapy (radiation) treatment for the cancer and when I went on KZbin to learn what all the treatment entails, every time I saw a male Dr doing the procedure I would start shaking and crying. I don't know why. All I can think is that even tho my mind was unable to make memories in that 90 minutes.. there is a fear response that our bodies do remember. Because that's what it is.. its fear I'm feeling. I had to go to pre-op yesterday with my mother so they could install a chemo port.. she has cancer too. The whole time I was in there I was chewing on the inside of my lower lip to keep from breaking down to the point her Dr, when he came to meet with us, asked why I had blood on my teeth.. I said I bit my tongue. This person that I've become is not who I've always been. I have been a caregiver for my mother for 15 years. She has been thru a lot.. several cancers, a liver transplant. broken hip, broken shoulder etc.. I am a calm and fairly stoic person.. I know how to compartmentalize and deal with trauma at a later time when a life isn't hanging in the balance. and I do deal with it. the person I am now shakes when a Dr walks by.. even the ones I know. I get blindsided by snips of memories from the pre-op and even the most innocuous memories set me off. I rage inside my head.. why didn't I do this differently.. why did I Let them do this. I hate myself. I hate them. If my mother hadn't threatened to not go thru with chemo.. I seriously doubt I could bring myself to do my own cancer treatment and the many pelvic exams that follow. Mentally, I don't remember what they did to me.. but physically... some part of me must remember to keep bringing on such strong fight or flight reactions 3 weeks later. I feel so different and I'll definitely never see Dr's the same way again.

[@devrindare]

How precisely this video has summarized all the facts which are true, is amazing

[@annastone5624]

OMG it’s NOT.. ‘having trust issues’ if you are suspicious of kindness!!! It’s healthy scepticism! So many abusers use kindness and offers of help.. to groom victims - it’s almost standard.

[@cyny6305]

All of these at the same time. I remember my (then) 64 year old dad telling me that he didn't trust anyone. That was so shocking at the time. It's awful when you never feel safe.

[@Deelynn-woohoo]

In this instance, it serves me well to believe I was never loved much by anyone. This makes things easier, when you kind of expect this in life. My advice is to find little things you like. Focus on them and block out everyone else for the most part. Be self-sufficient. Nothing really matters anyway. Make the best of it while you're here

[@jenkinsheinrich9009]

Hello there, how are you doing?

[@renticat]

But I am not self sufficient that's why. I am fucked cause of the family who fucked me and in this environment i have no chance at all. I am so tired but also had trying to given up and i am still here only worse. I am too scared but also too tired in this hell

[@Drakengard82]

this realization has the complete opposite effect on me As i was raised to believe that only they matter, to realize i was basically their bitch and i never had anyone sucks

[@gorunsko31]

Betrayal trauma happens also when you have a bad fall, you know you broke your spine ( compression fracture of L1), the pain takes your breath away, you beg him to drive you to the hospital ( only 2 miles), but he says: no! Than you ask him to call 911, “no!” Again. He is tired and is Christmas, he wants to go home now. You get scared of his lack of empathy and ask for hiking poles. He agrees. You crawl in great pain, home, to lay on the ice pack, to survive the night, to wait for Urgent Care to be reopen. He agrees to drive you there. The X-ray confirms your perception, but you cannot help but wonder… would the damage be lesser, if only he would dial 911, 32 hours earlier… and now you know you have no right ever to be in need of care. He is so careful for months not to stay home. He leaves home for hours at the time. You call friends, they bring food, soup and concern. You live on crumbs bc you want to live for children and grandchildren, but what about living for me? Thank you, Tim. God bless you for your heart and your wisdom as well, and for your generosity. ❤

[@nickandrews2255]

I see you expressing this story as your story or your experience. I hope you get the care / love / respect that you deserve. Cheers All the best.

[@gorunsko31]

@@nickandrews2255 thank you. I see how many spelling errors I made ( will edit soon), so I couldn’t help myself, but let the pain to emerge, because I felt safe in this group. I felt I can be believed. He is known to be a nice guy, he married me so I would “take care” of him. If I am vulnerable, he may feel threatened by it and punishes me. I appreciate being heard in this forum. Not a native speaker of English, I dared to share. My trust is in Tim and people who follow him.

[@Remi_Taj_Nanny]

That would have been a very traumatic experience 😢 I'm so sorry you went through that. Can I ask why you couldn't call 911?

[@0208connie]

Ive had a very similar experience. I determined, after I divorced him, that he is a covert narcissist. Greatest move i made was just leaving him. Turns out he had a whole other life situation going on with someone else.

[@gorunsko31]

@@0208connie covert narcissist sounds accurate. So happy for you, you liberated yourself from this dangerous in the long run, situation.

[@janet8982]

It’s been 46 years since my husband left me and 2 young sons for another woman. A lifetime of shared custody has taken its toll. My focus was and still is on my two sons and now their families. I have forgiven him however I will not forget. What he did to my sons is what hurts the most. You never really get over it. You just learn to live with it. We each cope in our own way. But the feeling never goes away.

[@SingBluebird]

This is exactly me. I've been betrayed in romantic relationships before, but most recently have been betrayed at work. My hard work was discarded and I was stabbed in the back by an executive. I've had a hard time overcoming it. I am struggling to continue to work for this company that I feel doesn't value me or my work. What is the point now? What if the next project I work on just gets discarded without any consideration to me? I don't know if I can get past this and probably need to look for a new job. I don't like working for a company that betrays or stabs people in the back.

[@kayireland4156]

I'm sorry this happened to you

[@whatiactuallywanttowatch8802]

Same happened with me recently. Put 3 years of hard work leading the game project only to get stabbed in a back (losing my leading position and all creative control) by new producer coming to project being close to public release. I guess I'll keep working for a while to care about my people and to finish the project, but I feel very cruel about all this situation.

[@gorunsko31]

This happened to my adult daughter. I am happy to share she found a new job, where she is appreciated. Believe in your skills and your worth. Looking for a new job will empower you. Even if you don’t get an offer, just getting job interview will help you to recognize your value. Best wishes. Save the loyalty for yourself not for the employer. You come first.

[@sv-yh3mq]

​@@gorunsko31 good comment. I would only add- keep your search for new positions to yourself, yet I'm certain most know this already. And reviewing / updating/ renewing one's resume`s is beneficial even if you get pro- assistance in improving, or even re-doing it. Same with portfolios, etc.

[@steves8626]

I swear this is me, word for word. Thank you so much for making this.

[@elizabethschuler8890]

This list of betrayal trauma symptoms is what I am experiencing in divorce. Forget the five stages of grief - the betrayal trauma list is actually reflective of the realities I am experiencing.

[@teridoty4285]

After a lifetime of betrayals large and small, the earliest of them having been in the dumpster fire of my childhood, this video hits like a sledgehammer. I've been in counseling for 5 years now, just trying to process life events, and the childhood piece is the most stubborn by far to deal with.

[@slangbuster]

I'm reading these comments and all this time I thought it was just me. Amazing. Thanks.

[@RebeccaRuano]

6:37 check, check, check all. Repeated betrayal throughout my childhood makes this echo in my entire being. ❤ thank you! ❤ working in trust and esteem right now. ❤

[@saulbeiza7303]

I just don’t want to live with my family anymore. They’re the reason that I’m this way. I know I can change. I know I can do this, but I just can’t be around my abusers no more. I don’t wanna look them in the face anymore. I don’t want to hear them

[@torment5542]

It's hard to heal in the same place we were hurt 😢

[@peachesandpoets]

Work really hard to get away. I spent my days and evenings in my car for a bit, I'd spend most of my time out of the house except going home at night to sleep. I'd go to the library and apply for gigs and jobs etc. Being around them makes it very difficult to move on

[@mkultra9896]

It’s always been 5 puzzles mixed with no lids for reference! This defines so many legitimate overwhelming truths that once noted, help me to understand the what and why of My feelings. Thank you for this 😊

[@peterjeffery8495]

Childhood trauma can inhibit emotional development making the "who do you trust" part of life very difficult. I was Groomed at 40 years old by a woman who was a professional Therapist (MSW) and a dyed in the wool Narcissist. I will never recover from the damage she inflicted.

[@tmking7483]

Yes we can - Jesus will show u. Me too I was and continue to be professionally groomed for performance and patents_ if your creative _ hide it. If your truly unique as God created u _ in this World _ HIDE your gifts from the Pigs. It wants to clone u _ for it's dead baby army _ exploits you for anything _ as like as u full of fear and anger _ this 'Jing aThing' gets to live in the bacteria around you_waiting for it's ultimate take over of your behavior _ you'll live be in childhood abuse perceptions for the rest of your life_ staying triggered in betrayal_ Jesus is the way and life out of this snare _ a good of book is the Bait of Satan.

[@gorunsko31]

Ouch! I am sorry this happened to you. Developing trust in setting boundaries by your own self ( what is acceptable to you and what is not), may help you feel safer. Don’t give up. Never ever blame yourself. The betrayal by the therapist is criminal, not just an unprofessional conduct. This kind of toxic behavior belongs to the abuser. Sorry to say, the predators are everywhere, even among those who suppose to heal us. Best wishes on your path to healing.

[@peterjeffery8495]

@@gorunsko31 Thanks very much for your thoughtful reply. I can't tell you how impactful your words are.

[@Ricky-mouser]

It could be worse, she could still be in your life.

[@peterjeffery8495]

@@Ricky-mouser Thanks Rocky. Very true and well said

[@bernstock]

That’s all described very well indeed. It’s been many years now, but I still suffer from most of these symptoms despite solid efforts to overcome it. Therapy, exercise, etc etc. I wonder if it will ever go away or am I permanently warped? Time will tell.

[@Xzerbit]

from my experience, it will be up and down, lota downs, but even with diagnosed cptsd, i was told it was permanent, it isnt, for me so far, its one hell of a battle, but determination and willpower goes a long way. so far its been extremely lowered, the worst parts are gone, now whats left is the small fixes that needs healing, betrayal was a huge part of this. from my pov, nothing is ever permanent, in the psyche, if u decide u wont let it be so, and then work towards reaching that goal. but thats personal opinion. theres always hope.

[@bernstock]

@@Xzerbit Thank you, I really appreciate this comment

[@DenshaOtoko2]

I've been betrayed 7 times by a close friend. I'm now more guarded and careful about how and who to curate in my social circle.

[@JoeBlow-tf4cc]

No, you've been betrayed 7 times by an enemy.

[@barbaraevans9768]

Why go back and keep giving this person another chance.Please stop calling them a friend they stopped being a friend years ago.

[@Girlwithapurse03]

I cried so much watching this you have no idea, i feel validated and seen. Please dont take this video down

[@agatamakulska4442]

I have been betrayed on so many levels. First I found out my husband is a covert narcissist. Hence my mental deterioration over the years and also physical. In the meantime after years of hostility from my family I decided to cut ties. There is only so muchyou can take and on top of that my husbands family turned their backs on me when I told to my ex to move out after years of abuse. I am alone, its a fact. Iam not imagining anything.

[@VanessaDayleRaeWaggoner]

Same

[@gkauto1959]

now live the life you were supposed to! you are no longer trapped by them, so go out and have yourself a good time, travel and relax. they cant fuk you over anymore, whats not to like?

[@agatamakulska4442]

@@gkauto1959well the betrayal is real and I still have two children with him. We were together 20 years. I cant enjoy myself cause he is still around and I am building my life from scratch: no job, as was stay at home mom. Now kids are still small and I have no support system to take a full time job. Not to mention travelling.

[@racquels4529]

I am currently experiencing so many of these symptoms 😢😢 I am so glad I clicked this video. I needed it. I was betrayed 3 years ago by an ex lover, and two of my cousins. I have been very different. I used to forgive and turn the other cheek. However, this heartbreak really did some damage. Then was verbally assaulted by my adult son, and I just wanted to die of embarrassment, shame!! So four heartbreaks in 3 years tore me up deep inside. But I've also been healing in therapy for 2 years and re-parenting myself through your videos!! Thank you so much 💓 for being here teaching us ❤️ 🙏

[@Realitycheck-rh4bk]

Being betrayed by your children is different kind of misery

[@JaeReger-yr6hl]

It is !

[@adrianasoldevila630]

The most painful😢

[@kellyjackson4973]

I have the same exact problem. It’s so painful. It takes the air out of the room. I really believe I have heartbroken syndrome. It’s been about seven years now and it’s so painful. God bless you. I know exactly how you feel. All we can do is give it to God.

[@ricklubbers1526]

How did they betray you?

[@Realitycheck-rh4bk]

@@ricklubbers1526 too complicated to put in a comment to a stranger on KZbin. No offense. The disrespect is on many levels 💔

[@akahina]

I've been ruined for 20 years because of my wife's betrayal and divorce after 30 years. I don't trust anyone to get close. "I love you" means run away. I hate my life.

[@captainfrosty31]

I've been betrayed many times in my life from family to friends and romantic partners from a child up until just recently finding out my partner has been having an emotional affair our entire relationship. I'm 41 now and what life has taught me is that nothing stays the same, this too shall pass and you and only you are in control of your happiness. You can choose to hate your life or choose to focus on the good things about it. It's perfectly OK to feel down, have days where you hate the world and cry until your brain hurts! You just don't stay down there. Being miserable doesn't affect those who hurt you! It only affects you! Don't give them the win and have you kept down because of their actions. Rise and find new happiness, and new adventures and leave those ppl in the dirt. Life is too short to waste it being miserable because of other ppl and what they did or didn't do to you. Love you more my friend.

[@Yaivenov]

*hug*

[@karengordon8819]

Turn to God! I assure you he always keeps his promises. He will NEVER betrays you.

[@tracywood9301]

That's why I'm so glad we have KZbin, we can share our thoughts and experiences, we realise we're not alone in these heartbreaking situations. If the person is like many affected here ( we can feel like we're magnetic in getting caught up with abusers & users.) Taking time out & truly loving oneself & setting boundaries it's a step by step very slow process. But by drawing on our inner Power & standing tall, we can eventually see the changes to our lives. God Bless all from the UK 🇬🇧.

[@Sarah-with-an-H]

After my cousin threw knives at my feet when i was a kid i became atheist. This video is helping me see what happened 40 years ago was more than just one event where i wasn't safe it was a betrayal trauma because my mom after that trumatic event said shed handle it, but i wasn't safe i was forced to pretend things where ok and she is the reason why im as broken as i am because she chose her sister out of her own fears and compromised my safety. The betrayal trauma is because my safety wasn't a priority. Thats incredibly heartbreaking

[@drivethruabortion280]

OK, that isn't good enough reason to go atheist.

[@harmonicresonanceproject]

This is the most amazing and compact slice of deep deep healing knowledge. Thank you.

[@gorunsko31]

All of the above. 😢

[@fsprototype]

This is the most informative and most relatable video on here that I’ve found for what I’ve been through, what I’m feeling, what I’ve been doing for the past 1 1/2 years after being betrayed. Completely spot on. Therapy helps y’all. Just gotta stick with it.

[@hopecoachkelli]

My life in a nutshell. All of it at different times. I have come a long way, but am nowhere near where I need to be. I get mad at myself with my actions. The disregulation is the worst for me.

[@hopecoachkelli]

Abandoned by my father, then cheated on for years by my husband who eventually left me after those stressful years, then emotional abuse from 2nd husband who had online affairs with multiple women and he eventually found one he married online after I left him. (Probably because I wanted to be first to control it) I have decided I'm best on my own. Casual friendships for companionship but nothing serious. I do not want to get hurt again. Plus, I know I'm a lot to handle.

[@Xzerbit]

But ur aware of urself, u say u disregulate, good! awareness is progress, now learn how to heal that part of u. and dont get mad at urself, we all fail, and thats okay too, none of us is 100% good at anything from the first try, its a learning curve, there will be a lota fail but also a lota wins, keep ur focus on the wins and learn from the fails. and know that theres always tomorrow and this isnt a race u need to win, take the time u need, to heal u, but dont neglect self love on the way, take the small wins and make them big, because, to u, they are big wins. and celebrate them. it will help u stay motivated too.

[@hopecoachkelli]

@@Xzerbit thank you.

[@trulifelight3617]

I'm so grateful you added the spiritual symptoms as well. As a believer, it can be hard to admit these true feelings.

[@NatashaLeah9]

Wow, thank you. I'd never even thought of getting help for this. I've experienced massive amounts of betrayal in my life. That whole list explained what Ive experienced to a tea. Thank you for this informative presentation, it opened my eyes to seeing I need to face and resolve this.

[@LindaGreen-b7f]

This sounds like some of the same symptoms of grief of a loved one. I’ve recently been through both. I’m sorry if you feel this way also.

[@mercedeswalker7819]

It truly changes youuuuu!!!

[@PaigeSquared]

Thank you! 😊 It helps me to remember that these symptoms are my brain's very normal response to an abnormal situation. That many/most brains that experience something like mine did, they would have these symptoms, too.

[@PaigeSquared]

Oh the crying. 😩 Yeah. The first few months it was all the time. Lately the tears are still daily, but closer to 20 minute sessions.

[@peggygarcia1131]

Thanks!

[@jenniferfox8382]

Life feels meaningless and pointless to me. I don't know if it's from betrayal or years of abuse. Some of the people who mistreated me are Christians who have gotten everything they've ever wanted in life. I turned to God for years and nothing happened. It makes me question if God is real, if maybe he put me here to be abused and psychologically tortured. Christians tell me I just am not believing enough, praying the right way, not letting go, etc making me feel even worse. I genuinely don't care about life and am extremely confused and aimless. I'm a zombie and just going thru the motions to get it over with. I don't trust my decisions but it also doesn't matter because I don't want to do any of it anyway. If there is such a thing as hell on earth I am in it.

[@kr0wn.aSSaSSin]

Feel you. I’m so confused about God too, that I just don’t believe there even is a God anymore. When I pray or think of God, I feel nothing.. except resentment. I’m a zombie too. Gaming & KZbin are the only 2 thins keeping me alive as of now.. it helps me avoid EVERYTHING & I just cannot wait for life to be over!!

[@PauletteBerube]

Do not believe anyone who blames you, especially if they say you aren't praying enough because they too, although maybe well meaning, are blaming you for what this evil person did to you. Nobody who hasn't been through it, will ever remotely understand. Stick with those who understand and love you for you, even when you are at your lowest. I get it. You question reality. Find small comforts. Be kind to yourself. There are people who get you. They are here. Take care of yourself and remember, you are the best, you are worthy, that's why they came after you. That is the proof.

[@MizRouge]

I don’t have any answers but I want to send you some love because I know how that feels. Is there anyone you can talk to? Would counselling help?

[@richardfox9130]

WOW Jennifer im 64 and the end can't come fast enough. The key is to pick better friends!

[@danoncho]

Hey, thanks for sharing your life with us. No one deserves to be mistreated the way you was. It is very sad to read that you went through such a heavy experience. You are still here, with us, and that's why I want to point on a bright side: you are still here, and YOU DID IT. You SURVIVED through abusive people, you discovered their lies, that life promised to you in your connection to them was a lie. It is a discovery that creates emptiness and fear of being lost inside. But, it's also may be a new beginning. A chance to see clearly, that maybe there are no ultimate goal, but a decision to have one. Maybe we are responsible of finding the reason we are living for? This may feel scary if your life was constructed out of values, given to you and shattered by others... But it also means, that now you are free. And maybe, now when you are feeling lost, you have the most freedom in your life you've ever had. To decide who you are, how you want to love yourself, and what people you would like to have near you. It may feel impossible, but try to say "thank you" to yourself. Because you already carried this burden long enough, trying to find a way. You did this for yourself, and you are your best friend, the person that is truly cared about your safety and happiness. You did so much, and I am proud of you. And, to be honest, I think you should be too. You are stronger and wiser now. You are the Universe, the whole world, and at the time you did your best. Please take care of yourself, rest, learn how to create boundaries, and then explore who you truly are. Because you are amazing, interesting , lovable, and I wish you to remember that. Please ask people for help if you need it, because some of us really wish you all the best, even if it doesn't feel like that sometimes. And most importantly: be there to help yourself. That way, after lots of small steps towards yourself, one at a time, one day you'll look back, and say "thank you" to yourself. For your effort, kindness, love.

[@user483g]

You described almost everything I am going through, thank you for making me feel "normal" I thought I was going crazy

[@enlighteneddragonfly6813]

What kind of therapy helps to get past this? I’ve experienced betrayal trauma and the examples of the varying stages is accurate as they can come and go and appear when you least expect. It’s impacted me greatly where I find it difficult to trust and connect to create meaningful relationships. I keep everyone at a distance now

[@kateb7155]

You can gain a lot of healing and growth with a therapist certified in trauma and EMDR. It helps greatly if they understand personality disorders too.

[@shaeAllday]

And this is why I am just now able to trust again after almost 10 years. I was financially, psychologically, emotionally, and physically abused as well as cheated on by someone who lived a double life that I knew nothing about for all the years I was with them and then married to. I did have other relation shortly after, but I was further betrayed. After all of that I decided to work on healing, rebuilding my life, and it has taken a while. I had finally found a great therapist as I was graduating from college. I realized the dissociation and coping mechanisms, I am now learning that I am making progress with making friends, and healthy relational dynamics. It can take years to heal

[@JessicaC.]

I absolutely love the decor in your home and your wall is beautiful!

[@nicolasrose6523]

I've been betrayed by my brother who preferred to stay loyal to this crazy family, 40 years of lies and abuses, I've lost everything, spend all my money and energy... Fortunately I'm a fighter, I'll go on fighting all by myself, no more fear, just life and love, my way, my rules now.