How to Date With a Chronic Illness

[@rachelosborne-ln1xu]

Great advice. Is Paddy still single?? 😂

[@MissLiv_]

This is so relatable as someone with M. E. It’s important to manage energy when chronically ill! I mentioned I had a chronic illness on the app and the guy removed the match and didn’t respond! It would also be interesting to see how someone who is neurodivergent and Christian navigates dating as an autistic adhder! Thanks for sharing 😊

[@kate7932]

Same happened to me! 😅

[@ErolobaJ886]

My chronic illness makes dining an issue - I can only tolerate a few, plain, unseasoned foods, but don’t want to share this weirdness before a first date lol. This is a comforting and helpful video.

[@Kim-0605]

very insightful advice when it comes to dating. It really helps single christians to have a meaningful and godly approached when it comes to dating.

[@macadymoe2194]

Wow. I been sick for 15 years and this is the most helpful and comforting thing I’ve ever found. Thank you.

[@be_salt]

Glad it helped!

[@Louise-jl2eh]

This is a great video. My relationship sadly ended due to the impact of my chronic illness but this is really good advice.

[@paddyosmond8917]

I’m really sorry to hear that Louise, It may not seem like it now but I can promise you these things happen for a reason and I have no doubt God will be providing someone who is able to walk with you in this

[@realrea]

I find that this could work for any difficulty in general, whether health, finance, family or other issues.

[@raes-world]

This is brilliant. Such an important topic!

[@paddyosmond8917]

Rae! love your contributions to this channel, thanks for your kind words I’m looking forward to doing more here soon 😄

[@jamesweir630]

Great video I feel like you are a person with a lot of wisdom 😊

[@adele6065]

Thank you so much for sharing this

[@be_salt]

You are so welcome

[@felicityh.1947]

This was awesome, thank you for sharing!

[@be_salt]

You are so welcome!

[@rilwanj]

When I had chronic illness (16-30 years old), i was contagious and prone to infection, and bled a lot. Dating was out of the question. There are some with internal and external symptoms that just can’t date. I now wonder how I made it through 14 years, without depression, suicide attempts, pain killer addiction or worse. Thank God, all glory be to him. I’m 33 and extrovert, but never even kissed a girl or hugged

[@be_salt]

Wow, you should join the conversations on TABLE by SALT with Christians who are in similar situations to you

[@clairefranks9941]

Thanks for sharing this Paddy!

[@be_salt]

No worries

[@jocelynbell2247]

Such wonderful, hopeful and practical advice. Thank you for sharing ✨

[@be_salt]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@victoriamonari]

Wow such a brave story!

[@be_salt]

Yes, amazing to hear

[@EveWilliamsMusic]

I have rheumatoid arthritis, type 1 diabetes, ankylosing spondylitis, fibromyalgia, proliferative diabetic retinopathy and a few other things. I am now 46 but from about your age I pretty much found that dating sites are full of people who want to walk on beaches... You say some people may not want to continue a relationship. I have found 100% of people walked away. To be chronically ill pretty much means you will be single unless you are diagnosed after marriage.

[@paddyosmond8917]

Hey Eve, I’m so sorry to hear about all of the issues you’re facing , that sounds really really tough and I can only imagine how hard that must be day to day. I’m sorry you feel like it’s hopeless with relationships but I do truly believe that the right person will stick around

[@EveWilliamsMusic]

@@paddyosmond8917 The right person is me. You just learn to look after yourself. That isn't hopeless! It's a cultural message that single people are to be pitied. I don't feel like that. If a relationship is something you want, I hope it happens for you but it just so happens that I am a great deal older than you and have spent more time in hospital than you have been alive and overy these many years I have noticed very few spouses hanging around the other patients. 100% of my friends with similar conditions who developed them before marriage are single. I think it's possibly harder for women as these conditions put limits on your actual or perceived ability to have children which kind of takes you off the market. And let's be honest, is there such a thing as 'the right person's? A Disney myth in my experience.

[@jamesweir630]

Thank you Eve Williams for sharing. I am a nurse and I am interested in learning about people’s personal struggles. I went through chronic pain that was progressively getting worse and it seemed more and more real that I was going to die until God told me He had something else for me. I hope you are able to become an expert at living life to the full regardless of your diagnoses

[@kennystrawnmusic]

Ah, yes, Lyme disease. Have an old friend by the name of Matt who also suffered from that - great to see that you’re able to overcome it.

[@rachelmarkable]

Can you discuss more about your illness and how you are figuring out your healing journey? Thanks!!

[@be_salt]

Paddy also runs a live chat on TABLE on a Monday if you want to check it out: table.be-salt.com/

[@FrankSui_]

Why does SALT's preference settings allow people to choose which gender to match with? Does SALT endorse progressive Christianity & same-sex romantic relationships?

[@be_salt]

We give equal opportunity and equal value to all Christians - each person sets their own preferences to find like minded believers. However, the app's purpose, from its conception, is to enable traditional marriage between a man and a woman

[@be_salt]

Questions are ok, no worries

[@imnaortega]

Thank you for the video my 3 yr relationship my boyfriend gave up on me and broke up with me I am diagnosed with stage 4 cancer

[@be_salt]

So sorry to hear

[@jenniferthompson5146]

Question: I was dating a guy long distance for 3 months. He has chronic pain. He got tickets to fly to my city. Things were good and then he stopped communicating for 2 days. I reached out and he said his pain had increased and he was receding into himself. Another 3 days went by with zero communication, so I blocked him. The women in my life told me I’m being too harsh but the men are saying no, he is clearly showing you that he is not interested. A major standard in relationships is communication and I don’t want to compromise on that. What is your take? Would chronic illness genuinely cause you to stop communicating with a girl you were pursuing for multiple days in a row?

[@paddyosmond8917]

Hey Jennifer, that’s a great question and I’m sorry to hear about your experience, I can imagine that must have been really tough to not know what’s happening due to communication issues. I would say that the advice you were given that he’s clearly not interested was probably misdirected in this case. Pain and illness can be all consuming and exhausting and if he was explicit about it then the chances are he probably was trying to build trust by letting you know his intentions and limitations. I don’t think blocking is ever a good solution regardless unless someone has genuinely harassed you or is not good for you and can actually show a level of hostility which is not helpful in this situation. If you really value communication highly and that’s a standard you aren’t willing to compromise on , you also need to be willing to have an open conversations when things are tough or not working for you rather than blocking someone and shutting down the conversation entirely, it has to go both ways.

[@jenniferthompson5146]

@@paddyosmond8917 ok thank you for your input!

[@Jessablessed]

I can’t help but comment on this one. You were already dating and he made you fully aware that his pain had increased. His silence could mean more than just “not being interested”. Besides the physical pain, there could be an underlying shame and self doubts that he was probably feeling at that time so it’s painful to think that you blocking him might have added to what he was already going through. Although it is generally accepted that we women are emotional creatures, Men have emotions too. They also need care especially when they’re struggling. You should be there for him especially when he needs you the most. “In sickness and in health” is not only limited to marriage but to other forms of relationships too. You should be ready to extend your patience and understanding before you involve yourself in a romantic kind of relationship. Relationship is a two way street.

[@kate7932]

Honestly yes.. especially if you aren’t his girlfriend.. it’s not just physical pain but the fact of pretending to be in a good mood to not appear depressed is very exhausting.. you don’t have energy for conversations, to take showers, to prepare food.. it happened many times I replied to family and friends after days.. yet I care about them.. of course he could just not be interested.. we can’t Know.. I have to say I never disappeared on my boyfriends tho because I felt okay being real and vulnerable with them..

[@kate7932]

Also keep in mind not everyone wants to talk when they’re struggling, some people, especially men, may prefer to isolate to not feel like a burden.. that doesn’t mean you have to accept this tho, if you aren’t comfortable with that then it’s okay to leave, but blocking someone for that tho seemed immature.. you should communicate instead

[@imnaortega]

Thank you for the video my 3 yr relationship my boyfriend gave up on me and broke up with me I am diagnosed with stage 4 cancer