How To Deal With Disrespect As A Man

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In today's video, I'll share a story about feeling disrespected during a recent appointment. I'll discuss why respect is so important and offer tips on how to deal with disrespectful situations.
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[@josephshaff5194]

No ! I want you to use your VA Medical Benefits. You don't understand go back there sometime when everything has cooled off ok. Going to VA is an all day event. Sometimes. Depending. That's why they have a Cafeteria. Now listen please. Your overseas VA has an overseas Medical Program you probably qualify for as well. Like I can work in Germany as a Drafter. Germany requires people to cover their own medical and must have proof. Which had I gone would've been perfect. So the benefits you've earned you should use. Just take your time fill out whatever forms they say you need and it's probably only a once in a while thing to get into their system. Please. Now I have another story, I'll post in your comments. And be nice. Then ask them about the overseas medical program.

[@miljanorevic4760]

I guess you don't know man,but BetterHelp is a bad company.Couple of years ago, they scammed people and even now,some people are complaining

[@vSwampFox]

Antonio, as a 43 year old Marine myself, and business owner, I’ve learned that an enormous part of being a man, is having the patience to walk amongst the Idiocracy in daily life. I tell people as a man you have to be a resource manager that specializes in high conflict resolution. You have to learn how to bend the world to the shape that benefits you become a master manipulator in every situation. Not manipulation in a mischievous way, but ensuring that situations go to your benefit.

[@VMAdventures88]

Best advice by far.

[@andreharris144]

anything else u learned in the service that helped u in life?

[@chrisbunka]

Kudos to you! This is how I have come to view life over the past couple of years.

[@russellbogrett605]

Perfect advice sir.

[@manoftomorrow5987]

Facts. I'm trying to teach my girlfriend this as well. Its a life skill

[@eddies8502]

Definitely learned the hard way a year ago. I was being berated by a customer and I walked away. He came back in started up again. After a quick shove - after he spit at me- he lost his balance, fell, and sadly passed away from hitting his head from the fall. I never intended harm to the man, still a year later I’m entangled in the legal process still on house arrest and the families - mine and his- are devastated. I try to tell everyone- no matter what you might be going through/ just walk away, let it go and ignore your ego. Even a tiny shove can lead to disaster you just don’t know what might happen. I never planned to go to jail that day I had never been to jail ever in my life of 50 years. Just let it go. It’s not worth the risk.

[@donaldmichael9840]

Excellent video. As a retired Army AMEDD officer I commend you on how you explained your situation. If that ever happened in my clinic that nurse would be doing grass drills until they puke. Every Soldier, Sailor, Airman, Marine and Coastie is a person of worth when they walk into my clinic. Respect is mandatory. Not a request.

[@jenxsj3902]

Love your video. I experience disrespect daily as an immigrant. I have lived here for most of my life, I have citizenship, I pay taxes, I never relied on the government for any subsides or help. My only “sin” is to have a light accent. Xenophobia is rife and it is only getting worse.

[@occipitalexposure5059]

The problem for me is when I'm caught off-guard by someone. I've recognized that I need to let that initial adrenaline rush fade away before responding. Often times it's best to brush it off and walk away for a minute, and then return with a clear head. That does require the ability to check your ego, and of course, we all know that is easier said than done.

[@martintvedt9667]

Same here, brother! I always say and do the stupidest shit when I react right away. Giving it a little time before I respond is the only way to go for me.

[@Bringmeoneofthosechickens]

I'm a vet this is 100% par for the course for any VA. They are used to Vets be desperate, and many people get off on treating weak people like shit, though they would cower in the presence of someone strong

[@TheSaneHatter]

Sadly, it isn't just the VA. A lot of social services treat applicants this way for exactly the same reasons you describe, even including unemployment offices or services for the disabled. (Texas, where I live, is particularly bad.)

[@LiborTinka]

this is beause we are apes (see "Our Inner Ape" book) it makes me sad but also makes me understand that no bureaucrat or officers works for my good - they work for theirs and their family first a police officer's no. 1 priority is fellow officers and the office, no. 2 priority is the state, and THEN goes the civilian

[@BuddyGorey]

Or they’re completely overloaded and dealing with a patient load so large their lives are on a permanent treadmill.

[@kennymichaelalanya7134]

Respect is so underrated in these times . Thank you Antonio

[@portlandreviewer6582]

That woman talked down to you since you were in a hospital for people that are talked down to. Private medical facilities, especially in wealthy areas, are more about customer service. Go to a plastic surgeon's office, for instance, and see how nice a medical staff can be.

[@mbrady2329]

Some things to remember about any medical facility which is free to patients at the point of use: 1. Members of staff are typically overworked; 2. The scheduling is usually extremely tight, and appointments are often delayed by unpredictable factors; 3. The appointment system is designed to treat the time of medical practicioners as being far more valuable than that of patients. Please also bear in mind that the admin staff in such facilities often deal with patients who are either very stupid or don't speak English (or whatever the national language is there) very well, which can spill over into their interactions with patients in general.

[@chrisbunka]

Antonio, since you’re slightly younger than I am, I am going to say this: I’m proud of you, young man!

[@aaronaustrie]

I posted something on Facebook this morning relating to disrespect. It's a very big issue rn. Ppl always feel they can tell you what they want or do you what they want and expect you not to feel bad 🤦🏾‍♂

[@jpjp9111]

I'm disabled also (TBI) and I'm also a military veteran. I've been to the VA once and they gave me crap also. I walked out shortly afterwards and never returned to a VA facility since.

[@ScottieA22]

Well said, Antonio. Maintaining composure is so important! Ive often said that if you lose it, you've lost the argument altogether. Make your point amd move on - kicking and screaming will get you nowhere. Enjoy your vacation!

[@hohoho13]

Excellent advice as always, Antonio. I'm an ex-army NCO, and I remember what you said about gentlemanly behavior is making people around you feel comfortable - this has served me well in life.

[@thewatchloungechris]

Thanks for your service ! No VET ever deserves disrespect . A good buddy of nine was in the Marines a Mortar Platoon I believe it was lost his leg in Iraq . Couldn’t imagine great guy .

[@Frdellak]

Best way is no reaction no emotion, simply walk away.

[@Bubbles99718]

56. Had 2 major surgeries in the VA. Los Angeles. Nothing but professionalism and courtesy from everyone both times. They were extended stays so I saw lots of people over many days. Even on just regular small things I've never had a bad experience at the VA. Obviously this is anecdotal but after reading so many comments slamming the VA I thought I'd chime in.

[@j.b8728]

Much agree, I've had a surgical procedure at West-LA VA and the staff was professional. Sorry he had that experience.

[@bjdough8916]

You handled that whole situation very professionally and better than most people would have. I really like how you didn’t make it personal and how you considered the type of day that nurse might have been having. Speaking of WI hospitality, I find WI to be on the unfriendly side. (I live in WI.) I have a cousin with whom I share this KZbin channel and he lives in southern FL. When I visit, I find FL to be far friendlier and way more hospitable. I even find CA to be more friendly. ( I have family there as well.) It’s just an observation. Thank you for your services.

[@TuneinR]

How to deal with disrespect? I simply do nothing. I stay mute and this can be very confusing to the author of disrespect.

[@PixPete]

Calm and deadly silence scares the crap out of most people, because they are used to big reactions. It's a good technique.

[@swoosh1mil]

Same here - for the most part. I’ve built a reputation at work where people now don’t want to find my breaking point in fear of what I might do. 😂 (He’s a time-bomb just waiting to explode!)

[@Ergeniz]

@@PixPeteNot always. In many cases, people take it as you being submissive or being at a loss for words and they feel emboldened to give you shit in the future. Sometimes you need to show people a reaction so they know you're not a pushover.

[@cristianstoica4544]

@@Ergeniz the gaze is an important part of that. You don't look away while being talked down to. Or so they say

[@ericcarson342]

Exactly. Be indifferent to compliments and indifferent to disrespect. Neither bothers you, like water off a duck. Remove your attention.

[@ad6394]

Antonio, I had this same exact thing happened to me a month ago. I handled it the same way you did, well similar. It was at my friends’ brewery and my lady friend and I were listening to a band. She had a very bad week. Trying to cheer her up, she turned around and said, FU. At that point, I shut my mouth, smiled at her and continued to listen to the band that was playing. When the band was over, I wished her a good night and I never spoke to her again. We still run into each other at that same brewery, but I’ve stopped interacting with her. I also believe respect is the number one rule to interpersonal relationships of any kind.

[@davidallen346]

So many men can relate to this terrible experience, thanks for sharing 👍

[@anasb.8681]

Being always ready to walk away gives you a leverage against bullying and disrespect.

[@classyjuanito]

There has always been a disconnect between the patient and the VA. I used to work for Optum Serve, a third party who would help the VA process claims with veterans. I questioned the way they operated. They could cancel a patient's appointment without telling them. Submit claims that were incomplete, essentially making the visit pointless. Or deal with very unprofessional staff. There's a lot of room for improvement. I can very much relate to what you're saying, Antonio.

[@daviscragun2023]

Needed this after a situation at work yesterday. Thank you!

[@paulbunyan9436]

When she gets home the locks are changed and all her stuff is out on the curb...

[@malarempress4484]

I’m only 18 so my experience is limited but I’ve noticed when dealing with disrespectful people it’s also best to stay calm in the situation and don’t respond with any insults or sarcasm and the person will more likely than not notice that they are the one being loud and aggressive and either stop or it will give you a good window to simply disengage from the situation. This also helps by keeping the cadence of a conversation in your hands because keeping your cool allows you to steer where a debate leads simply by remaining calm through the struggle.

[@sungods-fh1xu]

I'm sorry you went through this situation, buddy. I think you did your best in keeping your cool and were actually very patient. Others would have snapped quick. Maybe you should have reported her rude behavior to their support line, because she might keep doing this to others in the future and she'll never learn her lesson.

[@Minuteman4Jesus]

I gave up on the VA before I even had health issues... I won't even go in to get a rating. The horror stories are real, I know veterans from the full age spectrum. I get my healthcare by other means, and it's 1000% better than the average POSITIVE interaction my pals have related! You're right about exchanging respect! VA doesn't give it!

[@starkilla7777]

I’m sorry you had to deal with this. Thank you for your service sir and the service you provide to us men with all of your advice.

[@leosigman7239]

Thank you for providing good education from a bad experience!

[@DanielMarlowe-th9gq]

Really appreciated your take on this Antonio! What really gets me in the chest is that you had to succumb to the rudeness and the disrespect of it all! I mean, I really abhor manipulation and those who use it. Being rude (disrespectful) is what some folks use to manipulate others. Regardless of this person's personal issues of the day, they are in service to others. One needs to put their personal crap aside and their angst over the "should(s)" in their world of perfection and schoolmarms! When you are not in the service to others than you are simply in service to yourself. That's arrogance, that's narcissism, and disrespect is a useful tool to use on all of US! I had a similar experience to yours at a doctor's office. Yup! I swallowed all that bitter swill down. I never once said thank you nor did I politely smile. I was happy when I was invited to take a survey of the services at this establishment. I took the time to be explicit in my evaluation of that particular experience with that particular person and their rudeness (disrespect). It felt good, not sure anyone will give a damn, but it felt good to get it off my chest. I guess I'll have to check if this person is still at their roost (or sitting upon their golden throne) in that office the next time I visit...

[@SkullRiderTrucker]

Truly, sorry about your experience at the VA. I believe in the power of bad reviews. Thank you for your service and I’m glad that you were able to still make a living and provide your family and children. A great life after your injury in the USMC. Great advice also, as a truck driver, when I used to FaceTime my children many years ago, I would get frustrated that the things they entertain themselves with couldn’t wait for the few minutes that I am telling them good morning or telling them good night or talking to them after school.I will keep that in mind for the future instead of reacting and throwing demands around. Great video.

[@linkcullum9961]

Originally I began watching this channell for business fashion advice and pointers. It was recent that I realize this channell is very positive and geniune enough to share with older men and younger men who are in need of encouragement or a real man's perspective on important topics. A very exceptional channel for men. "Real Men Real Style" thank you for being vulnerable and real.

[@louiebenjamin5243]

Trust and respect go hand-and-hand. Thank you Marine for another great informative video. The RN was reacting to a completely controllable situation and due to her lack of emotional immaturity she was taking it out on you. You did the absolutely right thing by removing yourself from the situation without disrespecting her... On behalf of the Medical society I apologize for her actions Thank you for your services 🇺🇲

[@paulp6752]

While walking away and not overreacting is the right thing to do, I would probably still politely report the way you were treated to the place management. You are a strong person and could handle this situation both mentally and down the line financially. Next person that walks into that office may not be so fortunate. I work in the customer service as well and while we all have good and bad days, in the end of the day we are being paid to serve customers and not to give them attitude and make them feel miserable.

[@heiral7773]

Okay that self depreciating head injury joke. Yep, you are absolutely a fellow veteran! Love the channel! I've also gotten better with the layered look and definitely notice the attention it brings!

[@josephshaff5194]

There is something that must be understood; Never go hostile on a VA Employee. VA Employees are Federal Employees and if threatened it's considered threatening a Federal Employee. There was an incident at one of our satellite VA's. An AF Battle setup guy ( I forget what they're called they're a type of SF) worked for them in custodial we were housed in the same bldg. he told me about it. So here's what happened. Guy from a smaller town goes in gets frustrated w/ one of the info. takers checking in or something to that effect. Starts going off a bit then a bit more ends up threatening the employee. Apparently, it was a death threat. Then leaves the facility. Only forgot something and came back to get it. Re-enters the Facility. Now at that point VA Police jump on him as it was figured he was going to make good on his threat. Arrest him for threatening a Federal Employee in course of duties a couple other thing and it is like 10 yrs. or more depending. As my AF acquaintance explains all VA Employees are considered Federal Employees and if you get flustered and threaten them it could be seen as making Terroristic Threats to a Fed. With same charges. lol. And one more thing . . . it will stay there in their records or VA Police records forever. Keep cool. It is sometimes a process but once that's done easier.

[@jeffreyhendrick5857]

You are onto something with this channel. You are a GREAT story teller. And I see that you have more to lose by going off on someone than I do, so you hold back and do not attack, as I do. Ha. I am surmising this, as that woman's head would be rolling the first sixty seconds if it had been me in front of her. But I DO understand you being concerned about being labelled in the system. I want to thank you for this video, SO MUCH, because I have a son in the Marines(six years now) and I realize that his rights have been taken away for all that time, as he had to do as told, where the rest of us out here can do as we like. I thank you for this video, very much. And by the way, I could be your father, as far as our ages go, and my generation( I think) did not have as much to lose by LOUDLY SAYING F-U when appropriate, as you guys did. We were free to HATE SPEECH ALL DAY LONG back when it was called, simply, "venting." I wish for you in your future, the freedoms we had in the 1970's to talk straight , and expect the same. Thanks for listening.

[@boerieza]

As a scrum master for a few agile teams, this is really great for EQ training. Epic content, sir. Thank you! :)

[@michaelleavitt3834]

As a guy who lives in Florida, I am really looking forward to the videos on the tropical outfits. I love the comment at the end about being able to write off the trip because you’re filming videos. That is awesome.

[@meetv7700]

Excellent video! I am going through some relationship issues and was confused how to handle this situation in a good way. You have explained in such a clear and simple way to deal with such situations. Thanks mate. 🎉

[@RealMenRealStyle]

Glad it was helpful!

[@ericlessard5969]

This video leans more on the Real Man side than Real Style. On point and practical, just like the style videos. LOVED IT. On target 🎯 you brought a lot of value to my day. That content is welcome and is a great addition to your video collection.

[@radiationman5271]

Good timing, I just had to go through this with one of my subordinates. Really, I’m still going through it with them. I did something similar. I told them I’d be discussing their behavior with my boss then left the area.

[@aaronaustrie]

Welcome Antonio. I'm in St.Croix!

[@BigAndy88]

Love this channel!💪🏼🙏🏼

[@RealMenRealStyle]

Glad you enjoy it!

[@TIG2MAN0]

Man I've delt with some pretty imposable people in the fire service. Sometimes literally the best thing to do is walk away :) . If I can't talk to the person especially. Know your people.

[@pb9548]

“I don’t tolerate disrespect. If you can't treat me with respect, we don't need to talk." The end.

[@chazlyle41]

Welcome to VA healthcare haha. Infantry Marine, served in the Stan, they asked me after years and years of jerking me around if I had PTSD, I said for sure! Not from Afghanistan, I’d go back there tomorrow, but 100% from my experiences with the VA healthcare system. They didn’t document that for some reason haha.

[@jordanluenz9263]

One of the best videos you've ever done - much more important than topics of petty fashion. I am high-functioning autistic, & as a teenager & into my early 20s I accidentally showed disrespect to some men, & I got bad responses out of them. I had no sensitivity back then. Learning how to interact with people properly is a dying skill, especially for the lockdown generation.

[@CumminsX15]

Great video

[@vincentcrowley5196]

One thing that i have found disrespectful is when someone keeps you waiting , because they can. Is it a flex because they know you need their services or want to maintain a relationship.

[@florianschwab5119]

That's what the internet was made for! Thank you for sharing your story.

[@RealMenRealStyle]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@utopiabuster]

Let's address this with the nitty-gritty. Very few people can define "respect". And, really the only place respect has any real legal import is in the military. Even in the military "disrespect" is what is defined. The military admits to the ambiguity of what is respect. In that case, respect is an action, presenting itself as courtesy. Courtesy works both ways. Essentially, words don't matter. In the civilian world, HR departments depend on the ambiguity of what respect is to exact disciplinary action. So if you're on a job that uses the word respect in its employee guidelines ask where it is precisely defined. Employee guidelines are legal documents. Respect-acknowledging the individuals' right to their own personhood. Doesn't mean we have to like one another or agree. Just means that you get to be you and I get to be me so let's all play nice. Peace.

[@mbrady2329]

"Respect-acknowledging the individuals' right to their own personhood. Doesn't mean we have to like one another or agree." - that's actually a pretty good working description of respect. Conversely, disrespect can be defined as negating someone's personhood in some way, be it intentionally or unintentionally.

[@utopiabuster]

@mbrady2329 , Personally, I do not ascribe to either position, respect, or disrespect. Chiefly, since there are too many young people, mostly young Black males, whose lives have been cut short over what is technically a feeling. Peace.

[@mbrady2329]

@@utopiabusterthat's because they had probably never been given a good working definition of 'respect' by the people who functioned as their role models, and probably experienced very little respect according to your definition as they were growing up. Likewise, they were probably given very little by way of a clear understanding of personal boundaries during their formative years. For the most part, these young men had their lives cut short either by people similar to themselves, or by police officers who were either responding to a direct threat to their own safety, or who were acting beyond the powers given to them by an institution of government as part of their job. Respect may involve feelings, but it's an abstract concept which can be defined, as you yourself have demonstrated.

[@utopiabuster]

@mbrady2329 , They lost their lives over a meaningless word. That's correct. I defined it because I've given it thought. Most people don't, believing it to be self-explanatory. It's not. Given a similar situation to the OP, I would have gotten what I wanted and needed regardless of attitudes. Do an experiment and ask people you know to define respect. They won't be able to do it without a fair amount of circular reasoning. Peace.

[@mbrady2329]

@@utopiabusterno - they lost their lives due to their lack of adult social skills, over a word for which they didn't have an appropriate definition.

[@kevinpoole4323]

Right On Brother

[@RealMenRealStyle]

Right on

[@user-yx9te7ek4m]

Thank you for your service, Antonio. I do disagree with your use of the word "snapped." I do not believe for one second that you snapped. You handled that situation perfectly. I do hate disrespect. It's a basic human request.

[@alanlewis7924]

Best thing to do you did. Respect is something that is given,it work's both ways. In my case if the person thats not treating me correctly is continuing in that behavior I stop talking and make direct eye contact with them. If the situation does not improve i walk away.

[@Babom_Official]

Hi Antonio! i'm still watching the video while writing this comment, but I wanted to tell you that I followed your advice many years ago and I'm still happy about it. I got a vincero watch (the chrono S) for my 18th birthday (i also had some issue having it shipped to Italy and I remember you answering my comment at the time). Thank you so much!

[@ImTheCVL]

🤌🏻 Mamma mia.

[@RealMenRealStyle]

Great to hear!

[@heven729]

Like you, I am also a disabled Marine veteran and use the VA medical system. I’ve only experienced one person who disrespected both myself and other veterans in the downtown Los Angeles Ambulatory Care Center. She would always have an attitude, talk down to, and disrespect almost every veteran that would come to her check in window. I saw this happen almost every visit. Other than her, my experience in the VA medical system has been positive. I have not seen said person there in a while, so either she quit or got let go.

[@kemronfigaro5636]

You live... you learn.... you grow...u handled that situation well Antonio...

[@RealMenRealStyle]

Thank you!

[@flashcraft7412]

Hi Antonio, love the vids. As a young adult the style vids are so helpful and separate the gents from the low dressing standards today. Can you do a vid on younger guys classic/respectable fashion? Thanks!

[@arktisch36]

It is important to know how to deal with disrespect, but it is just as important to know how to not show disrespect to others. I, for one, struggle with anger outbursts and an extremely inflated ego, so I often get into conflicts with others, and I just don't know how to deal with it.

[@Willie_Wahzoo]

Just keep observing the ego. Eventually you'll catch it before it arises and be able to change your course. You'll look back and laugh at it.

[@transformacion13]

First of all I respect all the good work you do. Second, I think with men especially face to face delivery with as minimal amount of people around then place/set your boundaries. In white collar jobs it is so easy to be passive aggressive I think it’s so much more respectful to the process ourselves and the other guy is in this manner

[@zoltan_nikon]

One day I was in a fragrance shop looking to buy something for summer. One of the employee apporached me to see if she can help me decide what to buy. Just when I was explaining what am I looking for, an older man entered the shop. The employee interrupted my sentence and left me there to speak with the older client. I felt really dissapointed about this so I just lef the shop. I am 26 and many times I experienced that people do not take me seriously because I'm young.

[@gesalbte]

You did the right thing. Do not yell at or assault the person who disrespects you. Walking away is the right choice.

[@Chris-nq3ri]

Wow you showed yourself like a boss

[@bobbyb.1743]

BTDT got the t-shirt Antonio. As a ret vet I’ve dealt with/ the same VA. They are not necessarily there to take care of you, they’re there to punch a clock. Everything from medical care, mainly a lack thereof, to my ret pay, which is still messed up! For the most part you’ll find the bureaucracy overwhelming and uncaring!

[@aaronaustrie]

Never me dealing with such a person. I'm backing away from them

[@MicahBratt]

At this point in life I find myself having empathy for people who may treat me with disrespect. I literally feel bad for them. I know so much of the time it’s not even about you.

[@Bailiol]

Nice video. Can't recall where I heard this advice, but one thing I have found useful is to just view a disrespectful person like a rock on the ground you accidentally kicked your toe on. You wouldn't get angry at an inanimate rock, would you? No need to be shaken by disrespectful people, either. It also helps if you yourself make an effort to treat everyone with total respect - that way you know that if someone is being disrespectful to you, it's almost certainly their problem, and not yours.

[@rmmccarthy1240]

Certainty is the most common source of disrespect: that is to say, it is the certainty that you will roll over and take it which emboldens the disrespect in others. And though Dialogue is a polite norm, it is Fear (the fear of consequences, the fear of pain, the fear of retaliation) that is the most effective method to assert your boundaries before the world. So, as a former US President once said: "If you can't make them see the light, make them feel the heat". I hope you sort things out; they treated you very badly at the VA.

[@gdj777]

So many dont even respect themseves and are oblivious to it

[@hatingontruth9118]

After serving in the military and serving with honor (not the 10%) it can be difficult to not feel disrespected at times and react to it. Great advice. I try to observe and ask questions when I feel disrespected. Emotion does play a big role in these situations.

[@DwyaneWadeCounty]

How do I deal with disrespect? I respect myself first, then the disrespect becomes easy to deal with. If you don't know how to respect yourself, then you will not even know when someone is disrespecting you. So respect yourself first.

[@kasparovthegodofwar]

I don't have time to deal with disrespect I just pull it out

[@PifchoBG]

Sounds like you did the right thing. However I would do something a little different. It may be right, it may not be, but sometimes I tend to tell the other person who is being disrespectful that I prefer to have a polite conversation as that is the only way to understand each other and to move forward. At that point most of the times things tend to calm down and get more resonable, but if I encounter heavy resistance, I just do like you did - remove myself from the situation.

[@zgarsamtavarez]

Composure is good, humor is good, however you set your boundaries firmly and sternly. You look them in the eye and take their soul and state how their acting and how those actions are out of line, then state what you will and will not accept from that person. Period. Welcome to the VA brother.

[@RaviThakoer]

I've gained a lot of respect since my school days. So it's embarrassing to be disrespected by strangers. Since 2017, right after the incident, I write down as much as I can recall of what happened on my phone. Then I evaluate it with a close friend, my parents or selected close family members. And guess what: most of the time I wasn't wrong. It's other party being disrespectful to me. They can't control their emotions. They are underdeveloped. I still have difficulty resolving most of the cases. I leave them as they are. Eventually some of them realize they need me and start respecting me. The others are ignored.

[@geneoh5048]

Yes, some advice on tropical outfits would be much appreciated. I live in Thailand.

[@kennethboehnen271]

Me too

[@Gromcan]

About the phone and staring is very true😂

[@philparisi9175]

Those benefits are yours and you don’t have to accept being treated that way and then lose your benefits because someone else is having a bad day. I do agree with you about keeping your cool and I’ve learned that the hard way.

[@robmarine393]

Semper Fidelis! I work for the VA and I am from St Croix USVI! Get some!!!! 0341! 2n Mar Div!

[@1134REN]

This woman is in every VA facility I’ve ever been to.

[@josephshaff5194]

For me I was Registered before even stepping foot off the base and they had a VA thing there that was the second stint. I was rated 10% Service Connected injury skeletal stress fracture to left hip femoral neck. X Rays and all that jazz transferred over.

[@DeeSock]

I can't find the chapters. Usually I see listed when I click more. Thanks for video

[@joeo7257]

You could compliment her in her experience, repeat back what what she told you, then ask forgiveness for not being knowledgeable. Remind her that you have so little familiarization with the topic. Then say, "Do you understand why I'm confused?" "How can we make this work?" Keep in mind that she is likely in a dark place in her world. She was that way because of her situation, not yours. Don't take it personally. Dale Carnegie said, "You can never win an argument."

[@deanlichterman5248]

Last I lived in the area there was a VA clinic in King.

[@Ichigoeki]

Funny that this pops up now, since just last month there was a small moment of disrespect that I felt, the first time I think that I've ever felt so. (Previous times have all been by middle school bullies, this was the first time that I actually felt disrespected as a confident adult instead of a severely bullied child) I'm a PhD student in a Japanese university. I was helping as a TA at a local high school with their science fair, walking around the hall, looking at the students' posters and presentations, asking them questions and evaluating their performance. I of course had chosen to wear some trousers, sports coat, and flannel shirt, because that's the image of a PhD student that I've had in my own head. I was basically either at the same level of formality or a step below the teachers at the school with my clothing, which I felt was appropriate for the situation. (Comparing this to the hoodies the other TAs had arrived in, as well as the prim and proper school uniforms of the students themselves.) At some point one of the male students (I have no idea if I'd met them before, I don't remember people's faces all that well) looked up from his conversation and greeted me with the classic "tough guy" pose as seen in manga: hands in pockets, slouched, upwards head nod and "what's up, bro?" in English. Now my immediate reaction to this was just confusion, seeing as I didn't remember us knowing each other, but also by the familiarity that this kid half my age showed towards a TA. I kind of smiled and answered "nothing much", to which his face clearly showed that he didn't understand what I'd said. I repeated it once more, same reaction. I then stepped to his side, put a hand on his shoulder, and with a low voice told him (of course in Japanese) "don't say things in that manner if you can't even understand the answer", and moved away from the group. I'm still a bit on the fence if my reaction was justified or not, but at that moment I felt that an unknown (or even if we had been introduced before, same deal) student half my age, especially a Japanese one, should have shown a bit more respect towards a hired foreign TA.

[@gaborvarga41]

When I worked at the (Intensive Care Psych PICU unit), at the VA, I found that the type of nurse you were dealing with here was the type that would cause most of our psychiatric emergencies. They were also the first ones to disappear when patients needed de-escalation intervention, which they caused. They don't know the difference between talking with and talking AT a patient and do not know how to listen.

[@davidortiz3094]

Set boundaries in the very beginning.

[@darrellclaunch1518]

warm weather suits, please!

[@LiborTinka]

As a person with low self-esteem I was treated with disrespect not even knowing it - in our so called "welfare state" - oftentimes I was covered but because I haven't fought hard enough for my right I never got the service I should. Now realizing it later in my life it gets me extremely angry but also clear that I have to protect fruits of my labor from leeches who just want to steal my watch only to sell it back to me. This world understands only sacrifice and - as writer and marine soldier Robert Heinlein often said - there is no such thing as free lunch!

[@TheCreedBratton]

I hate scheduling appointments, and then immediately after being told check in is early. I am a busy adult. Just tell me when you want me to be there.

[@PixPete]

One thing I've learned in 40 years is NOT to use humour unless its around people you are already very comfortable with. Being the funny clown earns you no respect whatsoever, even if you think it makes you friendly and approachable. Instead always be serious, direct, commanding, confident, assertive and authoritative but do so in a way that is gentle and kind not like being an arrogant a-hole. Difficult to balance but it's the only way.

[@ThisinsideThat]

Listening to your VA story sounds just about on par - I’m active duty Army and dealing with anything medical is always a pain. I’m nervous for when I get out and have to deal with the VA 😬

[@penultimateh766]

I really suggest getting a position with health insurance.

[@spiriteNsh1]

Those VA healthcare receptionist are rude and entitled asf. They have no situational awareness. Veterans are not like regular civilians.

[@leoquest1975]

Oh sh*t! I’m on also on vacation on St. Croix, United States Virgin Islands right now. I was raised here, but moved stateside. I hope you have a great time. 😁😁😁

[@RealMenRealStyle]

It was awesome! Hope you had a fun time too!

[@leoquest1975]

@@RealMenRealStyle- Thank you for your well wishes. I just came home from karaoke night from my friend’s bar in Christiansted. Tomorrow I’m going to the small island next to St. Croix, called Buck Island. FYI - I actually dressed really nice tonight and I used your awesome videos as a guideline. Thank you and keep on making more videos. Thank you for your service.🫡

[@josephshaff5194]

Sometimes I'll try to do Civilian or Company Medical for non-Service related stuff and then for Service related stuff I'll use VA. Unless I'm questioning something like I did my 3rd Physical Therapy on Civilian side and nothing improved but the muscles and ligaments were somewhat stronger. Unfortunately, the pain remains. But I would try to squat anything or run.

[@jerikromero1746]

Bring back and make dueling normal again.

[@Ergeniz]

They call it 'playstation' these days.

[@constitutionallyconscious165]

Gotta keep it classy sir!

[@RealMenRealStyle]

You already know!

[@constitutionallyconscious165]

@@RealMenRealStyle thats my mantra to myself when responding to disrespect.

[@michaelmorrissey1052]

This can be a very common situation for so many of us. Most of us let it slide and slide until we do snap. My advice is LEARN to speak up in your defense early on, even if it’s only in a small way.

[@TheXak662]

Yeah, i'm going to have to hire people to carry my casket. i got nobody