How to deal with draining people | *protect your energy* from ENERGY VAMPIRES | psychological hacks

[@crazygrace94]

I just made the decision to match energy with people to kind of get to the bottom of who my real friends are. Not match energy in a people-pleasing, performative way… just calibrating my level of care to how much the other person is putting into our relationship. Using the other person as a metric has helped me balance out otherwise lopsided relationships, but it’s been painful. I’m learning I tend to pedestalize people who couldn’t care less about me. Anyway. Hope you’re all well and thriving. ✨ 💐

[@Nourhanjanaby]

Can you please next talk about how to lower the energy we give when talking & spending time with people? I feel exhausted when i talk because i give all my energy with every single word i speak, i want them to think i care & i feel there is a lot of energy inside me thats want to be released so i give facial expressions, body language, voices, all together so i feel drained afterwards. I want to learn how to speak more calmly, be relaxed & without feeling stressed while & drained afterwards. I feel sometimes people can’t speak as much as I do, as if I’m speaking for both of us. I think i’m a people pleaser & an energy vampire at the same time.

[@spearl2498]

I feel this to my coreee!!!!! I would love a video on this too!

[@alessiasutherberry]

💗💗💗💗 I will defo make a video exploring this 🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@annabelwigs]

LOVE THIS AS ALWAYS LESS!!!! Thank you!!!! ♥️🥰♥️🥹♥️🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@kaiasiva6759]

Thank you!! Both my parents, especially my mom, are energy vampires. I unconsciously have been one my whole life. Consequently I've never had a true connection with anyone. I used to not understand why but now I do. I am trying to work through the shame and hoepfully one day actually connect with people.

[@alessiasutherberry]

Thank you for sharing with me lovely. 💗 It sounds like you've had a lot to process, and it’s amazing that you’re gaining this understanding about yourself. It takes a lot of courage to face these kinds of realisations, and I really admire you for that. 💗The fact that you’re working through the shame and hoping to connect with others is beautiful. Sending you lots of warmth. 💗

[@kaiasiva6759]

@@alessiasutherberry thank you!! 💕

[@StardustShannon]

Thank you again! 💖

[@alessiasutherberry]

💞💞

[@Xodeladelamore]

Ive been called wierd and difficult because i refuse to entertain ppl i dont align with Before i used to do it oh its family so i have to be ok no now idc who you are if i dont feel comfortable or myself im not going to say yes or agree to anything! ❤lost alot of friends because of it

[@sarangh3913]

Thank you very much for today's video. It helps a lot to someone who suffered really for years now from this problem.🍉 thank you for your support

[@alessiasutherberry]

Aw thank you my love. 💚😘 💚 🍉🍉🍉

[@Tsuki682]

Hey queen I really needed this you're amazing your content is amazing you really helped me thank you Alessia😊♥️♥️

[@alessiasutherberry]

Aw hey my love! 🥰💗 Thank you for being so so sweet! 🥰😘

[@shamsmohammad4266]

Hi Alessia, I really needed this advise, what a crazy timing. One of my close friends is one of those "energy vampires" (since we both are grown adults now). I feel so bad & guilty for being drained by them & at the same time I also want to protect myself because after meeting up with them I'm so tired. I just want to isolate myself after... Sometimes I'm also scared I carry this energy myself & other people might think I'm a draining person too. It makes me very insecure. Thanks for your take on this, I will keep your tips & tricks in mind & try to work on it on my own. Warm greetings Shams

[@alessiasutherberry]

Hi Shams, Aww I''m so happy the timing was right!🥰 It sounds like you're in a tricky spot. It's so tough when you care about someone, but being around them leaves you feeling drained. And I get what you mean about the worry of coming across that way yourself-the fact that you are self-reflecting on this says a lot though! 💗It's clear how much you care, and that speaks volumes about the kind of person you are. 💛

[@shamsmohammad4266]

@@alessiasutherberry thanks for your kind words 💗

[@alessiasutherberry]

@@shamsmohammad4266 😘

[@RuebenNomura]

Good morning from Hawaii that was a god video on protect your energy

[@__nal]

Would love if you could give advice for the moment when/if an energy vampire notices you conserving your energy and confronts you about it. I’m sure it’s situation dependent, but I struggle with feeling panicked, anxious, and unsure about how to answer

[@alessiasutherberry]

I’m not entirely sure who you’re dealing with, so take this with a pinch of salt, but I think gentle honesty might be the way to go. 💗 Try to explain what you’re doing and why, in a kind but straightforward manner. You’re just taking care of yourself, and there’s nothing to apologise for.💗

[@martynabiaek1307]

thank you for this video

[@alessiasutherberry]

Hello lovely! 💛💛💛💛 What a coincidence! I’ve actually been researching women and plastic surgery lately. I’d absolutely love to make a video on this topic-it’s something I want to approach with a lot of care and understanding, so I’m taking my time to get fully informed before I post. Thank you so much for suggesting it! 🥰🥰🥰 I also really respect your self-awareness; it’s clear how much you care about other women and making a positive impact. I truly believe that choosing surgery doesn’t make you anti-feminist. This isn’t about encouraging or discouraging surgery-just letting you know that my respect for you wouldn’t change. Whatever you decide, give yourself time to really think things through and talk it over with people you trust (maybe even a therapist). 🥰 Sending lots of love your way 💛💛💛💛

[@martynabiaek1307]

@@alessiasutherberry thank you so much☺you have no idea how much it means to me!

[@alessiasutherberry]

@@martynabiaek1307 you are more than welcome my love 💗💗💗💗

[@lina-rm4ks]

Super informative! I definitely wrote notes for this one ☺️🫶🏼

[@alessiasutherberry]

Aw bless you! 🥰💗 Thank you my love x