How To Deal With The Loss Of A Spouse

Brian Wilson is one of our Live On Purpose coaches and in this video, he's one to talk to about his own experiences and how to deal with the loss of a spouse.
Watch and Enjoy!
Dr. Paul Jenkins
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MUSIC
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Track: Kisma - We Are [NCS Release]
Music provided by NoCopyrightSounds.
Watch: • Kisma - We Are | House...
Licensed under Creative Commons - Attribution 3.0
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Video by Nate Woodbury
BeTheHeroStudios.com
/ natewoodburyhero
#LiveOnPurpose
#PositiveParenting

[@kentuckygirl4574]

I lost my husband on September 11th 2021. 2 months ago. I hadn't seen him in person since July 20th when he was taken to the hospital for covid pneumonia. My heart is shattered. It's only getting worse and I don't have a support system. He was my world, my everything. He loved with so much compassion and was there for me for everything. I'm so lost. My heart hurts so bad. 💔😞

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

kentuckygirl4574, I am so sorry. Such a difficult thing to go through. I hope you can grieve and find peace.

[@richardbradshaw7830]

I came across your touching comment in the grieving of love ones post here on face book. Well am really sorry about that okay 😒☹and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life must move on because death is inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday..

[@mariadopico4061]

Thank you for posting this video and the helpful advice. I lost my husband to cancer in 2021. We were together for 29 years. Yes move forward is the correct word not move on.... Everyone way of grieving is unique. Cannot judge anyone. Learning a lot about people as well as trying to find myself again. Best wishes from England.

[@mickspain330]

I lost my wife 10 weeks ago to Motor neurone disease I became her only carer without going into the actual illness she passed in my arms and I am going through the worst grief I thought was possible all want to do is talk about her and tell her story of what a wonderful wife she was and devoted to me and the children who are grown up now we were married for 49 years She never changed towards me she always showed her love and devotion even in the horrible mnd, she got the dementia she lost her speech and I had to feed her through a peg tube because she could no longer eat or drink , but she still showed her love for me and obviously I showed my love for her it's a terrible time I never want to forget her but again I want to tell her story Thanks for the video

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Just beautiful! Thank you for sharing this. I am so sorry for your loss. You are incredible.

[@jrwheeler81]

This was so incredibly helpful. I very suddenly and unexpectedly lost my husband exactly 3 weeks ago. It is believed that he had a pulmonary embolism, but also had other health issues going on. He was my best friend, my rock, my soulmate, and the love of my life. We had been together for 22 years. My husband and I met when I was only 18 years old. He was 11 years older than me, but despite the age gap, we had an almost instantaneous bond and connection with each other and we've been attached at the hip ever since. He was my rock, my protector, the one person who truly accepted me for who I am and loved me unconditionally. We could be our true selves with each other and confide in each other about ANYTHING. We were a team and did EVERYTHING together for 22 years. I've literally been with my husband for over half of my life. Our love and connection were SO strong. NOTHING could ever come between us, and there were some things that probably should have! However, we had such an intense love for one another that we got through all of life's struggles together and never left each other's side. I've been in such a state of shock that my best friend is gone. His passing was SO out of left field and totally unexpected. EVERYONE adored my husband. In these last 3 weeks, I've had SO many of his old co-workers send me messages and posts on Facebook telling me how he would CONSTANTLY talk about me and brag about me and made it abundantly clear how much he loved me and how proud he was of me. Now, I struggle just to get out of bed knowing that he's not here. I miss him SO much it physically hurts. He ALWAYS took such good care of me, and I of him. We were such a perfect team. I NEVER imagined my life without him being there for me to lean on. He was my entire world. He always had a way of making everything seem like it was going to be okay. I just don't know how I'm supposed to pick up the pieces and go on. 😥

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

jrwathas, I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you. Yes, grief can cause us physical hurt. Please take care of yourself. Take it one day at a time, and if you need to, one minute at a time. I am glad you are here.

[@jmfitz619]

Dearest jrwathas, My heart is very heavy for you, and i ask that you may accept my thoughts, hopes and prayers for you and your husband both. I very much understand the pain, rhe heartache, and the challenge of trying to move forward, move on, continue, whatever the wording is. The whole process is just so overwhelming. I very much hope that coming days will begin to bring you solace with the help of your loved ones, and that your memories may bring you peace in the weeks ahead.

[@perrykapano8610]

I go one day at a time. When the wave hits I let it. You have to have the waves to start to heal. Stay strong

[@virginiag5580]

I'm so sorry about your loss, I know first hand the pain and hurt as I'm experiencing it now. My husband of 15 years also died suddenly and unexpectedly of pulmonary embolism. He was a healthy 42 year old man. No health issues and unaware of prone to blood clotts which we now find out it's generic. He died 3 months ago and I'm devastated and heartbroken. Trying to take half day at a time. Sending you a hug. Blessings 🙏

[@jmfitz619]

I lost my partner Jay of 34 years to covid pneumonia this past January. I rushed him to the ER when he couldnt breathe for an unrelated respiratory issue', but then covid factored in and i could not see him for his last two weeks of life. I finally got to see him when he was moved to the hospice in a heavilly "morphined" , non responsive state for about 20 minutes. I got to let him know i loved him and let him know how much i loved having him in my life, and that i hope he knew how much i tried yo give him a good life. He passed away that night. 5 months later, i am just going through the motions. I am forever crying in my home. Walking in after work to a dark empty house hurts almost unbearably. I miss him terribly. I talk to him every day, and pray for forgiveness if i somehow came up short, but moving on almost seems like leaving behind or almost abandoning.... I know theres flawed reasoning in there, but i am just at such a loss of where to go from here....

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are in the jaws of grief. You may want to consider a grief support group to help you process these emotions. It is difficult adjusting to a life that is different from the one you planned. It takes some people a year or two to be able to work through the emotions and get to a point where you are excited about life again.

[@Robbz2010]

I lost my wife on the 13/8/2021 to covid and I cant seem to feel anything inside of me again all I do is cry and remember her struggle in the last few days in the hospital and she was my whole world we dated for 10 years and were married for 3 and half years and just like that she was taken from me. Nothing ever seems like the same for me and I cant seem to be happy with anything I do.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am so sorry. It is so difficult to weather that storm. I hope you reach out for help.

[@susanswayngim1854]

So many of us lost our spouses to covid. Our stories are similar. I couldn't be with my husband when he passed because I was nearly as sick as he was. The ambulance took him and I never saw him again. I think that's why i keep thinking he will be home anytime now. No closure at all. But the days go by and I'm trying to adjust to this new chapter. Who knew we could cry so many tears?

[@jrwheeler81]

I lost my husband very suddenly 3 weeks ago to a pulmonary embolism. It was so sudden and unexpected and I struggle just to get through each day. We were best friends, soulmates, and the loves of each other's lives for 22 years and I just don't know how to go on without him being there for me to lean on. :(

[@cortneysmith3312]

Sometimes because im a man who been in a relationship for 15years with another man, who died suddenly with a heart attack i feel like people careless or support me. Or if its not that serious because its not a women. I found myself to cut back from people places and things and try to deal with this on my own and with the few family and friends who do care about me.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Cortney Smith, I am sorry. Losing someone close to you hurts, period. I wish you the best as you work through the grief. Be kind to yourself. We are here for you.

[@1968jimmymack]

i just lost my wife and i know it is every bit as hard for you as it is for me.

[@takinittotheheatandthestreet]

I lost my husband and went through it alone. I’m sorry. Please reach for Jesus , ask for forgiveness like I did so you can feel lighter and you’ll see a huge difference . You’ll still hurt but it’ll be different . I hope your heart heals

[@takinittotheheatandthestreet]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV please help people with Jesus . Don’t run from that please . This person needs that burden lifting help.

[@dandundes9991]

I lost my partner suddenly after 25 years. I know there are those thoughts and feelings of others who will never understand. You are not alone.

[@gregnewton829]

Bryan is right!! You don’t MoveOn you learn to turn the page you will never forget and it is good to share their story in fact some of my family members have encouraged me to write a story a.k.a. a book about my wife Kim who passed away in 2019. Very unique person traveled the world visited over 119 different countries grew up in a family privileged with wealth. The reality is that I have learned from her and I learned how to be the man I wanted to be. I just wouldn’t know where to start writing except to just start writing.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Greg Newton, sorry for your loss. Kim sounds extraordinary. Just start free writing and see where it takes you.

[@arturus]

I have unintentionally watched many of your videos as my girlfriend was going through a difficult divorce and custody process. I cannot begin to convey my gratitude for your content, relevant information and concise advice. I have, as of this writing, been tasked with making medical decisions for my estranged wife who is expected to pass shortly and the grief is complicated and palpable. I am thankful to have people such as yourselves sharing such important information and insight.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Arthur Djahani, I wish you the best as you go through this difficult time. The grief will take some time to work through. My best to you and your family.

[@arturus]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you. We just spoke for the first time in a year, made amends and said goodbye.

[@mariagalvez871]

I lost my husband 9/16/2021 🕊 I can’t stop crying every time I think about him I start crying wishing he was here with me we have 4 kids together 💔🕊 I miss you Enrique Estrada

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Maria, I am so sorry. You are dealing with so much right now. I hope you have the support you need.

[@cathyvanasse4886]

My husband died 9/19/21, I'm devastated. I'm sorry for your loss.

[@richardbradshaw7830]

I came across your touching comment in the grieving of love ones post here on face book. Well am really sorry about that okay 😒☹and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life must move on because death is inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday..

[@jrwheeler81]

I lost my husband very suddenly 3 weeks ago :(

[@advantager355]

Thanks guys. I lost my wife yesterday and listening to you two really helped. I’m writing down thoughts in a note pad and that seems to help. Some of these thoughts derive from your discussion. It is also helping me to outline an eulogy.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

McRonald, I am so, so sorry. Be gentle with yourself as you grieve. This is all so fresh and you will need time to figure things out and process all that has happened and is happening.

[@advantager355]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV ty

[@jrwheeler81]

I lost my husband 3 weeks ago very suddenly. Writing and telling his story definitely seems to help me, but I still miss him so, so much. He was MUCH too young to go (had just turned 52 only weeks earlier) and I'm only 40 and now a widow. We had been together for 22 years and were soulmates and best friends. :(

[@bhubert]

@@jrwheeler81 I understand. I lost my wife a little over a month ago. She was only 50 (I'm 45). I'm really working through the grief and some days are definitely better than others, but some days I struggle to get out of bed. I do get out of bed because I know that's what she wants me to do, but at times it still hurts so badly. When we were younger we'd look at older couples and tell each other "One day that will be us." It's tough but I guess there are no guarantees in life. Hope everyone who commented here is doing better now!

[@raneeradar1009]

Man.. 4 kids... N shes gone. Woe. I had 2 . my life left me snd the kids. Now shes back to be in kids life...but I'm still alone . n I watch her from the sidelines. . 5 years ago. I'm still a wreck. I miss my marrage so much.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Ranee radar, I am so sorry.

[@joemomma7]

When I lost my mom I felt like I lost the back of my heart in the center, just lost my wife two days ago and it feels like the whole bottom of my heart got yanked out. I feel like I can't love anything, had to sign temp custody of my kids over because I'm homeless now because I have to take care of my wife and couldn't work and without seeing them it's hard to keep love for anything. I'm sure when I get them back I will feel that feeling again. But I look at nobody the same like I used to. Everything's changed. It was messed up how she left too, long story short her mom pulled the plug without me knowing and I was her caregiver. Everything just went silent and none of the doctors will listen to me and help while she sat there trying to breathe, she had a pulse as well. Death would be a luxury. This is real messed and I don't know if I'll ever be the same. I will never get that vision out of my head and that loud silence hurts worse than anything. Been attached since 2011 and have three kids together. Two of them did not make it. But she's with them now and my mom. Best way to look at it is, she's just waiting on me

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am so sorry for your loss, Joe Momma. Glad you were there for your wife and I hope you will be reunited with your children soon.

[@weshenderson8281]

I'm hurt but I'm going to surround myself with my children and grandchildren and love them for the both of us.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Wes Henderson, they are the best.

[@richardbradshaw7830]

Hi Wes, I came across your touching comment in the grieving of love ones post here on face book. Well am really sorry about that okay 😒☹and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life must move on because death is inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday..

[@ganjacat420]

I just lost my wife Leah yesterday (April 14, 2022) she passed while at the hospital. It hurt so much. I don't know what to do anymore. Her birthday was soon on the 21st of April

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am so sorry, Ganja Caf, it will take some time to work through the grief and loss. Everything about your world is changing. It will settle, just give it some time and reach out for help to those around you.

[@strawberryme08]

I’m just seeing this while looking up grief. Bryan’s wife was my dear friend! Small world.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

TinaMfam, wow, thank you for watching. I am sorry for your loss.

[@monicastone4952]

Hello, Brian. Thank you for sharing your story. I appreciate your willingness to talk about it in order to help others find a path to healing! I recently lost a close family member and have found myself at a loss when it comes to offering help or knowing what to say. I live far away but went for a few weeks for the funeral and to help with the kids. Since I have been home I have been trying to call/send messages, however, most messages and EVERY call has gone unanswered. Honestly, it has left me feeling discouraged and qustioning if I should just wait until she calls me. Do you have any advice that would help people in my position to better navigate how to be helpful?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Keep reaching out, she will respond when she is ready.

[@chrisjohnson2246]

I'm so sorry I know how it feels to be lonely without the person you loved, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life goes on because death is inevitable and we'll all have to face it someday, I lost my wife 3yrs ago to a cardiovascular disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, but that's the past now, time is indeed the best healer. I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! it'd be nice if you just say hi, here is my number [phone] or rather you can send me your gmail address so I could reach out on you.

[@margueriterussell7310]

Thank you both.I am grieving for my husband .

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am so sorry. We are here for you.

[@jrwheeler81]

Same here. I lost my husband of 22 years very suddenly exactly 3 weeks ago. :(

[@rocketsurgeon1746]

Just lost my wife may 15th. Would like to hear more from you Brian and less from the other guy. Your experience is what’s important here.

[@user-xh8eb2bq1j]

I lost my husband yesterday. I don’t know what to do. This is not real. Is there anyone going through this tragedy? I think i will never be able to. Corona virus killing me in this situation. Cops keep telling me to wait to get the virus check. I don’t believe he is gone so easy. What do i do. There is nothing i can do by myself only. I just wanna follow him every single second. I am here to see if there is anyone went through.

[@John-on-Money]

I also just lost my wife 12 days ago. Married 25 years. I'm devastated but bottling it. Numb. People have this expectation that men need to be strong for their family. I have lost everything that I was. Missing her so much. Thank you for the video... I really need to keep telling myself it's ok to feel this pain.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am sincerely sorry for your loss, Rocket Surgeon. This video was filmed about a year and a half ago. If you would like to hear more from Brian, you can try to reach him with our free 25 minute coaching call, which you can schedule here: DrPaulJenkins.com/breakthroughcall Again, my deepest condolences.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

There are many people going through what you are, 유은정 . Perhaps you can find a support group in your area, maybe on Facebook. Please accept my sincere condolences for your loss. If you need someone to talk to, please consider taking advantage of our free 25 minute call with a Live On Purpose coach: DrPaulJenkins.com/breakthroughcall

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are right, John Oeth, it is OK (and inevitable) to feel the pain. I am very sincerely sorry for your loss. I hope you can find support from family members.

[@gloriayoung392]

Prayers Help☺️

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Of course, Gloria Young. Hope everything is turning out o.k. for you.

[@christiesachde3156]

People want to help until they don't. I have come to the conclusion that people say and do things to make themselves feel better.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Could be.

[@shelleycharlesworth5177]

Found this info-below-on-line and it makes me think of the saying that "fore warned is fore armed." Shortly after losing my husband, I began been noticing how people dealt with me, and I think this observation of "thirds" is pretty true. It did not take long for people to show me what category they were in. I guess I'm grateful that one in three actually care. I kept it short & lite with the rest. I think the key is to not take them personally and hope they're not the ones you run into when having a bad day and feeling really needy. I am so thankful that I had 4 friends who could be silent with me in my moments of despair & confusion, who could stay with me in my grief & who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with me the "reality of our powerlessness". the rule of thirds for the bereaved “Keep in mind the rule of thirds: one-third of your friends will be supportive of your need to mourn, one-third will make you feel worse, and one-third will neither help nor hinder." --From Alan D. Wolfelt, Healing Your Grieving Soul : 100 Spiritual Practices for Mourners

[@cheryljune1603]

Lost my husband 3 weeks ago

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Cheryl June, I am so sorry. I hope you have support and are doing o.k.

[@richardbradshaw7830]

Hi Cheryl, I came across your touching comment in the grieving of love ones post here on face book. Well am really sorry about that okay 😒☹and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life must move on because death is inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday..

[@anniej2670]

My partner died 3 days ago (25-05-2023) in a car accident and I’m so lost and drowning in grief

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am so sorry, Annie J. How traumatic. Take your time to grieve. Just so sorry.

[@lathaiyer8065]

Don't want to move on... I will move in this lifetime along with the grief

[@lathaiyer8065]

After my husband's passing,I don't care about anything. Everything seem so trivial

[@joemomma7]

How did the guy lose his wife during the delivery? Was she sick beforehand?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Joe Momma, he didn't go into it in the video, there were some underlying conditions.

[@upstatenewyork]

Wish the host would let the other guy talk more

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Noted.

[@ryanbaggs5328]

My name is Ryan Baggs my wife died 11mouths ago I'm losing everything my house my job my x wife took my kids away I'm a weekend dad having seen my kids since she died in front of them ready to just kill myself what do I do landlord' rises rent. No family what do I do x wife took my dead wife w 2 and my how's does this work

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

There is a lot going on for you right now. Grief is evident in your comment so you need to be kind to yourself as you have these emotions. I hope you are able to see your kids, they can be a big comfort for you. Hang in there, you are in a season of rebuilding.

[@ryanbaggs5328]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV trying its getting harder every day