How to Develop Social Skills as an Introvert

In this video I share 3 highly effective methods to improve your social skills as an introvert. 1 - Interrupting Strangers. 2 - Raising Your Self-Esteem. 3 - Developing the Habit of Overcoming Fear.
I was born and still am very introverted, however for the past 8 years I have worked very hard on improving my social skills. Many think that social skills are something you are born with or without, however like all skills, you ability to be successful socially can be learned anytime. Many of the most successful people socially are introverts because they had to purposefully work on improving that aspect of themselves. Enjoy!
You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay - amzn.to/3DlIjob
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[@calumx]

I made a part 2 follow up to this video! It goes over everything you need to know to warm up socially. Enjoy! kzbin.info/www/bejne/boeugpiAabSFsJY

[@wabacake9937]

The fact that I looked this up 💀💀

[@oomp9123]

I can't believe myself i searched this up-

[@karla4000]

@@oomp9123 I don't see anything wrong with it , you're trying to improve , theres nothing wrong with that :) be proud of yourself

[@jasiebelderart]

Exaxtly you are acknowledging you need to improve on this, wich is big. And now you are searching how to do it. Be proud of yourself bud. Next step is Execution and apply the things you learned.

[@maryjaneyuwak1862]

😂😅😢😭😪

[@Keyspirits]

Hay gurl ;3

[@mr.p438]

I'm forced to interact with people , problem is my mind goes blank and I don't have much to say. The old social anxiety.

[@calumx]

I would dive deep into that. Ask yourself where that is coming from. It may be a feeling of lack. A need to impress others. A self-criticism or judgement. Read Louise Hay and focus on surrendering any negative patterns and belief systems around that. My guess is that if you work very hard on your self-esteem that will go away

[@mr.p438]

@Wills Pram dang thank you so much for this reply . I really appreciate the advice . I am glad things are getting better for you. I will makes notes out of this comment and tried to apply it to myself and keep working on it . I greatly appreciate it !

[@mr.p438]

@@calumx ok thanks for replying. I will get the book and see what that's about for sure. I will also take a deep self examination.

[@kiauniijackson8601]

Me too and people think I look pretty so I’m supposed to act a certain wau

[@letilyy]

mr. P. Samee😔

[@skylathomson2909]

Wow. My social phobia ass here, is trying to learn how to socialize

[@xydychc2507]

Move fast, the "main window" closes when you hit 18

[@andriod5160]

“You can not learn this skill with your current class”

[@blendergaming1579]

@@xydychc2507 I disagree. Sure it's easier when younger but that's like someone who is fat as a teenage can't lose weight as an adult. Most of the time people's problems are going to require meditation, affirmations or in worse situations therapy in order to understand the cause of the problem and overcome it (when it's psychological in nature just to be clear). I've seen people rapidly change their lives. You are going to have to put in the work and encounter the uncomfortable situation over and over. Also other things like toastmasters you can go to. Albeit a little different as that is public speaking but still forces you to talk in front of a group of people.

[@lesbianllama3580]

im fine with talking to people as long as its over text -.-

[@ru406]

"talk to strangers" *heart rate 100000000* Since posting this comment I’ve been able to hold down a job and make some friends. Guys, being yourself and putting yourself out there is so worth it.

[@gustavoalfonsoallendemarti1619]

Yess I now, sometimes i want to stay calm but my anxienty wins

[@Gone29364]

Anxiety 100 Depression 100 Life difficulty 100

[@Sofia-bl9cb]

guys, a few months ago i would have NEVER thought i could talk to strangers like it's nothing. but with time, it becomes so normal and natural! consider it a challenge against your anxiety at first, and it'll become easier and easier. remember your choices shape of your life❤

[@yooseul__]

i can talk to strangers online but not in real life lmao

[@jayrajchauhan8523]

Feel you buddy🥺

[@hilsdrnet6811]

School turned me to an introvert

[@evilmaxter]

Same

[@officialrizao2736]

Yes:)

[@Albert2139]

School is the best time to reverse it. Force yourself to socialize. Start conversations

[@AbhishekBM]

@@Albert2139 Maybe. But this is my last year in high school and I think it's going to end before it has even begun.

[@Bestreeh]

Buttercup baby suicide in 2021 same, now I forgot how to talk to people (not exactly but, I'm super awkward and hate when I have to interact with people) ͡ಥ ͜ʖ ͡ಥ

[@ichigomgx]

I'm a preschool teacher, so for 8 hours a day I'm surrounded and interact with kids, and talk to parents at the end of the day. As an introvert and extremely shy growing up, my job has helped me come out of my shell. I'm quite surprised how far I've improved socially.

[@calumx]

Nice! Yes everyone can develop good social skills. Thanks for sharing

[@thenextbigthing1393]

You're a legend

[@meowtrox1234]

i like you cat Ichigo

[@thenextbigthing1393]

@@meowtrox1234 check out my Cat

[@cassandrac4231]

Im in the same exact boat. Been a preschool teacher for 6 yrs and my social skills are SO different from when i started.

[@jasminegonzalez6968]

I used to be very social, but recently I've realized I've become more introverted. I don't know if it's that I'm shy or if I just stopped caring enough to put myself out there.

[@strawberrypanic7609]

Jasmine Gonzalez me too :/ my problem is that i don’t have strong connections with people as I run out of things to say and worry what people will think of me. When I was younger I used to have like 3 best friends which is like so amazing as I’m thinking about it after all these years. Just wanna be myself again 💔

[@detawy9950]

Your Queen x exactly, thats why i hate hanging in my recent days cuz im all happy at the beginning but when my mind goes blank and have nothing to say i start getting anxiety and start overthinking that people will think that im weird and i become super uncomfortable ☹️💔

[@grantwalter2243]

Jasmine Gonzalez me too. I think its because ive been more focused on what others think of me and my insecurities.

[@aaryan7558]

Me too, earlier i was extremely extroverted but now as days are passing i m becoming more introverted

[@lunny3715]

Yeah I used to socialize with people pretty easily and without any problems, I don't really know what happened over the years either. I probably just stopped caring too.

[@notmagicok7612]

legend has it, hes still walking across the road to this day...

[@hossamedinnasr302]

Ferrist Gump

[@ishot6cops62]

Honestly, since I bought my first phone I started to get depressed and less social

[@truthseek3017]

Me too

[@xtrol4330]

Maybe stop using it so much

[@xtrol4330]

@jLfxFEdji HTcpsdRaab yeah but you can also stop yourself remind yourself stop Stop stop Its hard but you'll get there

[@7860092]

Dnt use it much then

[@deelan5726]

It’s not nice to shoot cops 👮

[@CR1257]

I’m watching this because about 10 minutes ago someone called me out for being too quiet. I’m just working and doing my job at my desk. I laugh at their jokes that they’re telling each other but idk what they want me to do. I’m just quiet and can’t help it. Hate being called out about it 😞

[@amelialalllalala3914]

Well. If you feel comfortable like that then they should shush. But if u want to idk ask why they do this job or summin... Umm idk

[@Albert2139]

You can't let it get to you. As soon as that statement got under your skin, you tensed up and it probably made your mind go blank. You should practice being the initiator of conversations. It was incredibly hard for me at first but it got easier the more I did it.

[@marko514]

If you feel bad about it, then there's some kind of anxiety inside you. My advice is find what's wrong and try fo fix it :) good luck

[@elsunshine9976]

Beat them up

[@archangel0s]

Well.. why are they always so loud? ~Would be my response. I have nothing against extroverts btw

[@TreyPDB]

im trash at social skills, i havent had friends since elementary 😬

[@zerovigintillion7553]

Relatable

[@Samuva_2002]

Same

[@theserious-ly476]

You have hope

[@rajattimalsina9988]

same

[@noahcm521]

Same

[@Teyo_Music]

This man walked 10 miles threw the video😂

[@ksactress]

Logmatt hes walking really slow though lol

[@janetteperez9928]

Kristin00 Cool issa joke

[@ALEXA-mu3oy]

we stan effort

[@timothyelicada2630]

I was wondering about the cameraman...

[@notsahsoj5155]

Through*

[@dujuanjohnson5025]

Another way of improving social skills is staying up to date with what’s going on in the world. Whether it’s news, movies, shows, books, music and fashion. And learn new things like a language or skill that way you’ll have more layers and subject matter and won’t run out of things to talk about.

[@XxAdelaide1994xX]

THIS

[@Ensitrious1]

thanks homeboy

[@dreamx6828]

I would probably fail an interview for a job that requires lots of communicating with strangers because of how awkward I am...

[@calumx]

You may be surprised. Many jobs, especially sales are very easy to get because there is so much turnover

[@iliveinsideyourhouse3943]

@@calumx Used to work as a saler and it's was a humiliating experience :(

[@qrisquinn]

Most people want muscles to be able to flex, right? So if social skills are your muscles, be motivated to get your "muscles"! And develop your social skills.

[@mr_ailecaifos]

Thats a very interesting way to put it! Im actually goin' to try and focus on that mindset! Thakns Lyyrezism! Cheers

[@qrisquinn]

@@mr_ailecaifos No problem and good luck, I hope you become a fuller person.

[@ryanguzman1743]

Legend says he’s still walking

[@furyzlm7853]

😂😂😂😂

[@nataliegrace5714]

when you mentioned that you had acne when you were younger and lost a lot of self esteem, i honestly got emotional because i relate to it so much. i was always an extrovert, but ever since i developed bad acne that won't go away i've been extremely introverted and don't talk much because my lack of self confidence. i'm slowly started to talk to more people and i've even made a good amount of friends since i started at a new school.

[@calumx]

Blessings to you! 🙏I am in the middle of posting a series of acne videos that should prove helpful. You will make it out the better for going through that ❤

[@Handl3z]

I’ve had acne for years, ever since I first entered middle school I’ve become extremely self conscious and lost a lot of self esteem as well

[@MS-uc8ie]

it’s pretty tough, i’ve been there too. my skin is getting better but still struggling with shyness :/ wish i could just be a baddie lmao

[@isaacgregorigarciavelazque8812]

wow I can still understand being in that situation, when I changed school the boys made a lot of fun at me that destroyed my self-esteem and confidence in myself that I stopped socializing with people in general but over time I learned to love myself just as I am that now I feel very empowered and liberated.

[@hanaeve__]

When I was younger I used to be able to talk to people without overthinking every little thing. The majority of the friends I have now I gained when I was younger and more sociable. Now, I’ve retreated more into my shell and I don’t talk as much as I’d like to. This is why I want to get a job when I’m 14-16 so I can develop those social skills that faded away as I grew.

[@Shiestyy21]

Same...u must have been bullied and judged alot that's why am assuming

[@googs8869]

@@Shiestyy21 sorry I replied to this late but sometimes it's the opposite of you have a bunch of friends

[@AnthonySombra]

I don’t know what to talk about I don’t want to have boring conversation

[@chupapi7620]

Dont talk to much about yourself, if somewone says something about their day like "i went to the grocery store", then you ask what grocery store?, it makes you seem interested in the person what makes you more likeable also it makes the other person feel important, if somewone says something like "i hate rain" you say "yeah rain the worst" never say " i hate rain too" if you repeat the other person in a other sentence you will become more likeable because it looks like you understand them, and after a hour or a day the person will probably ask you question about yourself because they seem interested in you

[@lunny3715]

Better to not have a conversation at all than one that feels forced.

[@MakimaDog]

i dont get the joke i reply like that but they don’t say anything afterwards. if i ask an open ended question i just get ignored.

[@howchen8529]

I agree with the overcoming fear one. But only when you really want something...otherwise it feels like unnecessary suffering.

[@ThursdaysChild_76239]

I would argue that by overcoming all that which you deem to be “unnecessary”, it just makes it simpler to obtain the things that you do actually want, its like inducing hypertrophy in your SOUL lol… getting swoul

[@lunny3715]

The thing is I used to have pretty good social skills when I was younger and would be able to talk to people without any problem. The thing is, I rejected to much of any opportunity and interaction with people which is what made me have the problems I have with social interaction today. I can talk confidently without any problem with certain people but if it's with someone outside the comfort zone I usually turn into a studdering mess and my brain get's consumed by the anxiety.

[@changed7226]

I've always been shy, but I know what you mean.

[@lunny3715]

@@changed7226 Update: Figured out a lot about myself in the past 2 years. I'd actually always been really lonely and I didn't wanna talk to people because I lacked the social skills to actually talk to them, I didn't really know how to relate with them since I was immersed in my own fantasy world due to home issues, so I feel like I just always forced myself to fit in in every given situation.

[@haki4907]

@@lunny3715 how’s it going

[@lunny3715]

@@haki4907 It's going alot better now. I feel like lately I'd been putting less and less pressure on myself!

[@haki4907]

@@lunny3715 ay good for u man🤩

[@pokemonpro8438]

Who else came in Quarantine to prepare themselves for after covid? 😂

[@StaceLopez22]

Me🤣🤭

[@vannyagonzalez565]

hahahaha literally what I need

[@amruthaashokan1288]

I’m so terrified to even get a meal from a restaurant.. This anxiety kicks in very fast

[@karhammer]

*Tries to interrupt a stranger in a 3rd world country* "Hello! How are you?" *Gets robbed* Never again.

[@karhammer]

@@maxihax2187 Funny enough I'm from Argentina, a 3rd world country LMAO. And my brethren know this to be true, so no one who has the right to get mad at it will.

[@ashton_rwp8880]

Nah he tw nope not again

[@mohittanwar7972]

There is just one world. No third world countries. That's just stupid idea to defame the countries who don't exploit earth for unnecessary pleasures and comforts.

[@karhammer]

@@mohittanwar7972 Yeah, being able to walk in the streets without having a constant fear of someone murdering you, a stable economy that allows you to have food on your table every day as long as you have a job, decent infrastructure to get around and work, decent governmental authorities that don’t literally steal everything you make for themselves and let gangsters and petty thieves out in the streets, assurance that your private property won’t be just taken away by some random criminal, not having to pay anyone for “protection” not having a warlord destroying your country and people for his own entertainment and benefit and even a little bit of education are completely overrated. Shut the hell up, you having internet should be considered an unnecessary commodity by your standards, yet here you are. Being a 3rd world country doesn’t necessarily mean living in a farm buddy, it means your living standards are shit and in most of them you could easily die of starvation. Brazil has terrible living standards, is a 3rd world country and yet it polluted almost as much as the US last year. I’m not in the worst situation possible but it still isn’t great living in Latin America you know. It’s important to have differentiation, because if you don’t recognize the difference between poor ass, corrupted and exploited places on earth, who the hell’s gonna care? Hardly anyone does anything knowing how bad it is, if no one cared, some places like Africa would still be colonies.

[@pedrooliveira9237]

*in your country*

[@rawutah]

i'm whole life introvert....and living in pure joy! these are such great tips you share here....thank you!!!!! i'll share this video!!! thanks for sharing YOUR light!!!!

[@calumx]

Pure Joy Town!!! Thank you bro 🙏🙏🙏

[@rawutah]

pure joy town.....brother!!!!!!!!!

[@rucals]

The fact that he straight up explained this video without pausing is blowing my mind.

[@phillipbotha]

Great advice! I totally agree with the self-esteem part. Sometimes people may not even know that deep down they may dislike themselves and feel less worthy than others while the truth is that we are equally deserving of love, fulfillment, and success in life as everyone else no matter what qualities they may have.

[@dosomestuff1949]

Honestly why does it have to be this complicated? I wish I could just go and talk without being judged

[@lifestoryguy]

I would say learning a new skill helps. I taught myself how to publish my own books and ended up getting a job where I travelled around the country visiting old people in care homes to interview them so I could write their life stories and publish them on Amazon for their friends and family from around the world to read. Naturally, as an introvert, it was stressful travelling to new places and meeting loads of new people each week, not to mention the emotional impact of listening to old people tell you heartbreaking details of their lives too but was certainly helpful and deeply meaningful. And I would say any job where an introvert is able to use their super skill, listening, is a good way of overcoming fear and improving your social skills, too.

[@shafeeza136]

I have a long way to go when it comes to improving my social skills but I find smiling helps a lot. Also when I am nervous I squeeze one of my fingers or hold onto something tightly... helps to distract from the nervous feeling. I will keep trying to be better with social communication. Thank you for your video. It was helpful.

[@leagueG5]

Honestly, I just have no interest in small talk and pointless banter in social settings.

[@Omega-jg4oq]

Same, small talk is just boring, pointless and waste of time, I can't understand how people can care about it

[@oomphlagwumpla650]

Well i just use it to get close to someone and when i am close to them, i kill them from behind

[@leagueG5]

@@oomphlagwumpla650 That’s the best way. Then, it is into the car trunk they go. 🔪🩸

[@silasaya853]

Great video! Not a coincidence that I already had "You Can Heal Your Life" on my desk, unread, beside me as I watched your video. Thank you. 🙏

[@kenneth8040]

This really helped. I had grew and became a more confident person for about a year because i worked in sales and was forced to talk to people all the time. I lost that job and all of my social skills left with it. But this video reminded me of how many people were friendly to me, how many girls were attracted to me and my overall happiness was incredible. Gave me a little bit of a confidence boost and a little bit of hope to try this again. Thank you

[@CA1989.]

As a person on the spectrum who is socially awkward with a hint of anxiety, this is to be very very challenging. But I am up for it. We only live once.

[@rogermichou8654]

we don't live once, we reincarnate until we reach perfection and merge to god's energy

[@hentai6582]

It’s either you suffer through it and over come it or you die alone. Pretty easy choice eh?

[@cheesecake5710]

@@rogermichou8654 Omfg, just let him have his moment without talking about god and all that crap

[@rogermichou8654]

@@cheesecake5710 all that crap ?? Please God forgive this lost soul

[@cheesecake5710]

@@rogermichou8654 I’d rather him not forgive me

[@seansantos2219]

It's sad for me that I have to always start the conversation. Like nobody starts one with me😔

[@teojamie8450]

I am an introvert person and I totally agreed with what you mentioned in the video. I have my new career in 2018 which require me to meet the customers face to face regularly. I was struggling at the beginning and now almost get used to it. Also , I am be more social now and discover my self esteem as I found my feedback were acknowledged and recognized by the customers with high position. I will keep improving myself in 2020 to be a better version of me.

[@Whyinem]

Solid advice! I am working on my social skills. It takes a lot of work but I'm taking small baby steps. I have a lot of work to do. Awesome content!

[@teissirnourenmahamat50]

Thank you for doing this man, you completely changed how I think of the world wow 🤩

[@cessa8054]

This was extremely helpful and posting this was a beautiful thing for you to do. Bless you

[@calumx]

Thank you! 🙏❤ Glad it helped

[@robertk.3884]

Thank you, I like the idea of dynamic filming, it seems to me that it brings an extra color to everything you said and I love that you emanate some positionivity through language and gestures.

[@stevejohnson1656]

I think you’re demonstrating your own skills in this post in that you chose to compose this video; and you were able to do it all in one take, without edits. Very impressive! Keep up the good work!

[@calumx]

Thanks man! Funny how videos can take off. When I filmed this I thought it sucked but I was doing a video a week and was very busy and only had time for one take. And then it got like no views for two years and then finally gained traction.

[@jagarolo]

I’m so bad with social cues 😭

[@Kezyaflea]

Same

[@houdie1181]

Itachi

[@tacos_are_life_and_im_tras7091]

I’m 16 and was homeschooled my entire life and where I live we have only bad neighbors so I never had friends and now that I’m getting older and want to get a job and my license and just make friends but I realize I don’t know how I run out of things to talk about because I never go out I don’t have much life experience I like painting but that’s my only hobby and I hate asking people questions because I feel like I’m being nosy to try and start a conversation

[@ALEXA-mu3oy]

same here, i'm 16 and struggling with social anxiety.

[@arjumandali7266]

Aish you are an army, me too I also started having introvert problems ever since the internet welcomed me in its world. And it got more worse when I met bangtan cuz dude if you have bangtan on your side you don't need anyone else. And yeah that I became an introvert and stopped going out, stopped talking to people, family etc . And that was a mistake, which I am now trying to improve. Whenever I want to talk with someone even if it is important, I think thrice about going, talking, encountering the persons and I get hella nervous

[@arjumandali7266]

Now I am here to find the solution to my problem I am afraid because socialising is an important part of life and it can affect my future, career and relations...

[@archangel0s]

@Marcus 1 it's never too late!

[@mr_ailecaifos]

I feel exactly the same, I feel that I'm always annoing the others. I dont know how to get rid of this thoughts, but I've been workin' on it for about a week, and its harder than I thought for sure... Putting what they say in the videos in practice is soooo scary, I cant help it, anxiety is a freakin' problem! Good luck tho, hope things go well for you mate! Cheers

[@nancyboutin7968]

I was just thinking today about how self perception gives rise to a persons behavior and social interactions. It was good to hear your affirming message on what self esteem is.

[@eferrari96]

You are so on point, I can not agree more as an introvert who got more social during the last years. I was lucky to become a good friend with someone who is very social and has many friends. He invites me to many places with lots of different people and in the beginning and still now I do want to go, because by nature as an introvert I prefer to stay at home. However, he always insists and I can not always say no to him, so I go out with him. This leads to the point of "developing the habit of overcoming fear". Nowadays I usually go out with him to meet him and meeting other people during that became a habit that I got used to. This also leads to the second point of "interrupting strangers". I cannot cling to my friend all the time while going out, so I have to talk some other people that I did not know before. Well, in the beginning I did feel awkward to talk to new people unless I drank some alcohol, but nowadays I got used to it and it really helped me make new friends and become more social. But ofc to do so, you also need some "self-esteem" or "confidence". This came also from my friend, who gave me this some kind of push that even somebody as extroverted as him likes me somehow and with getting more friends I gained more confidence and it makes it easier to talk to strangers and I gain a bit of confidence by talking to them ("oh I am not too bad myself, people don't neglect me just by talking to them etc."), so it is a bit of a positive cycle. I would say I was self-aware before, but when meeting people "social awareness" or "reading social cues" is really important. If you can read someone, you can notice if someone is not feeling well, or that he is happy and other emotions and you could implement it to the conversation, which makes it really more dynamic. Also, be positive about any outcome, so don't be afraid of anything. The worst outcome you can get is you or somebody gets physically hurt or dies and as long that does not happen: "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end"

[@DrFresh2777]

I’ve always been an introverted, but I’ve always wanted to, at least have good social skills. This has been very helpful so far.

[@lauriemtz8616]

I am in introvert and also an empath. I've tried working as a cashier at whole foods to overcome fear and learn social skills. This was a fast- paced, crowded environment and it was a daily struggle with the energy and noise of all the people. I lasted about 1 year and couldn't handle it any longer. I eventually became ill and sensitive to crowds, sounds and smells. I Love the fact that you mention Louise Hayes book (RIP auntie Lou Lou) which was my very first spiritual, self-improvement book..and also the fact that you mention meditation and bodily sensations which really resonate with me. However, id like to know how to work through these steps when you are not only an introvert but a highly-sensitive person and an empath...

[@calumx]

Hey, thank you. This is interesting because I am very introverted and sensitive, but not really an empath. For me systematic desensitization worked but it sounds like it was too much for you in this context. I think I had a very strong goal in mind so all the uncomfort was worth it when I was putting myself in extreme situations. Honestly the only thing that comes to mind for me to say is to Surrender it to God. ❤🙏🍉

[@emmet8933]

Thanks for sharing that Laurie M. I'm a shy, introverted, very sensitive empath as well. Those are stereotypically female traits, so it gave me identity difficulties for a while. I found it hard to relate to other guys, cos I was so different to them in those ways. But also unable to get too close to girls cos of shyness and problems stemming from having had a bad relationship with my mum. Good on you for trying to step out of your comfort zone. But don't be discouraged because you gave up on that job. I found in my own life that putting myself into uncomfortable situations only grew me if I was equipped for it going in. If you go in when you're not ready, it will get overwhelming and instead of growing you, it will only squash you. I'm a Christian, so knowing that God is bigger than any difficulty that I'd ever face, and knowing that He stands ready to comfort me and hurt along with me in my difficulties gives me a lot of hope of conquering my fears. I am still learning to listen to the truth that I'm worth something to Him, so what people may or may not think of me isn't important. My value comes from what God thinks, and He is kind and gentle to anyone who wants to trust Him. I have to remember not to let the voice of fear have any say in my life, and instead trust that God will bring me through, and be my comfort and strength along the way. I have often had a poor view of my own worth. It made me very self-conscious, causing anxiety of what others might think. I'd be in a social situation with people I know, and feel like I don't have what it takes to contribute to the conversation, and this would make me feel left out and as though I'm not interesting. But my friends love me, and don't actually look at me like that. They're probably wondering why I don't participate more often. That's an example of me forcing myself to believe the truth when my emotions are going nuts, lol. Not easy, but it gets easier with practice. I believe in creation as opposed to evolution. We are designed to be relational creatures, to relate to other people and relate to God. But because there's evil in the world, it's risky to trust people. We need trust to have intimacy with God and other people, and the potential risk of pain from the vulnerability required to achieve that is what triggers our fear. We need affirmation and security in ourselves, but trying to get it from people can lead to disaster. Getting it from God, and letting Him tell you who you are and how much you're worth will give you better self-esteem. It can take a while, but I've noticed that sensitive people and empaths can often have a high level of awareness of themselves and their feelings, so you have great potential :) My own conviction about meditation is that it can be a spiritual conflict of interest, so I steer clear of it. But thinking about how much God loves me and forcing myself to believe that truth is how I'm starting to overcome my anxieties and increase my self-esteem. It gives me more confidence to put myself in fearful or anxiety-provoking situations, and to be able to endure them more, cos I can accept that the fear was unjustified. But it takes some boldness to achieve that, and to experience it for yourself. God won't do all the work for you, but He will be your strength, if you let Him.

[@animalcrackers8880]

I was always shy, but retail completely destroyed me and I've never come back from it. Trying now but it feels impossible

[@desireevictoria7472]

judith orloff has written a few books on empaths. she is a therapist for empaths. Empath's survival guide is her most popular book i believe. if you haven't read it already :)

[@ishapatel2397]

I'm introvert and empath too and kinda absorbs the energy of people around me and sometimes even bring their energies home with me. Idk if you can relate but it is such a struggle. I really need to find a way because can't keep isolating myself every now and then.

[@pbandjammie8156]

Ngl this video helped me quite a lot, I’m in the same place every day and I often see a group of friends who are like me and I think, “I wish I could be friends with those guys” yet I never had the confidence to approach a large group of people. I find that this video has helped me overcome that and I wanna say thank you

[@fatherderekk3048]

I’m not alone :’)

[@charlescoronacion1903]

In internet, yes. But in real life.😔

[@ccm393]

Ooouh men, you not the only one trying to know👌🏻🙂

[@Xscape128]

I've realized after trying to solve this for myself for years..the therapy only helps to a certain extent in figuring out what past events might have triggered introvertedness but the bottom line is , you have to interact with people to get better at socializing, there no way around it. I had this problem where I craved doing fun stuff with new people, getting into a relationship etc. But the moment I'd find myself in a social setting or an opportunity presented itself I'd shut down. Crippled with fear, always the quiet shy one.. Social skills are just like any other skill, it takes repetitive practice and exposure to feel comfortable doing it. Also, take note of your strengths and weaknesses. For example if you're introverted you just simply be the listener in a conversation, and add small statements/questions here and there, but don't force over talking. Overtime you'll notice more and more openness in your social skills to the point of even keeping up with someone who's extroverted. Spiritual teachings help as well. Letting go of attachments, worry, fear etc is a key discovery and will add more presence to one's life

[@aWERFRGT6545BGFG]

The sad thing as that I'm an extrovert I just have severe social anxiety and don't know what to say and constantly feel awkward

[@liamcraddock9539]

I'm sat here thinking it can be a struggle being an introvert but wow thats made me think. Damn It must be twice as difficult being an extrovert with social anxiety. Hope the vid was still helpful

[@amelialalllalala3914]

Same.. I live for talking to people and laughing and Im just bad at it😬

[@emileebrignola5002]

Same

[@Toshiro715]

Wish I didn't develop social anxiety, I don't want to be introverted☹

[@UncleRuckus7600]

It was a smart move discussing how to socialize without Making cuts in the video and keep the conversation going. Really smart 👏

[@ryanking1298]

Appriciate this video , it really gave me insight on what fear is and how to overcome and face it head on. Pratical steps on how to be' more social , and how to exercise social skills . I will be' outing some of your advice ti the test today in dealing with strangers and aqquaintences in my everyday life . Thanks agiain. Look foward to your next video

[@WishToSightRead]

I am 66% introverted, according to a quick questionnaire. I am not shy now, although I used to be the shiest kid of the world until 19. At 19 I had a female friend with whom I played a game of looking into each others eyes as long as possible. That made my overcome my shyness, because people are just people like anybody else. My social skills are poorly developed however and I don't know how to overcome that. I have no fear talking to people, but I run out of things to say/ask very fast. And that happens over and over again. Talking to strangers wouldnt improve that.

[@isaacgregorigarciavelazque8812]

I am still a very extroverted person and so much that they made fun of me for being like that and it caused me a great shyness within me it was like a very crazy panic hahaha but thanks to a friend I could start to develop more, sadly today she and I are no longer friends but breaking the friendship helped me a lot to begin to be more self-sufficient

[@morpmorpt4746]

challenging my thoughts helped me.

[@changed7226]

This was a good video! I really struggle with being social! So much that people ask me if I'm okay all the time. But so guess something that builds my self esteem is when I work out.

[@FBI-nz3ji]

I live with social anxiety and people who don’t have it don’t realize how blessed they are

[@albertinamathewson3126]

As an introverted person I feel like I do all these things, I show confidence in my work and my style, I’m hygienic and comfortable to be around and I can tell when the atmosphere has shifted, I read social and body ques and always try to put full attention into the person I’m talking to. But all I get are side glances. I feel like I’m going crazy! I try so hard to help others but still make time for myself but everyone always ignores me. Even if I had a heart attack no one would notice except people who are there to keep an eye on you. I start conversation with them as the subject and are their shoulder to cry on but they never return the favor. What’s wrong?

[@calumx]

I think it comes back to your self esteem. My advice would be that you need to surrender how others perceive and view you. Let go of giving with the expectation of receiving. Accept, love, and forgive yourself completely and you will see how other treat you will change dramatically. I dont know your situation other than this comment but I think that if you focus on loving, forgiving, and accepting yourself, nothing else will matter

[@Superawesomevids549]

"First step: talk to people" Alright, Imma head out

[@Name-tm9xj]

I'm not an introvert but rather an extroverted shy person. I don't have any friends anymore and it has been like this for almost 6 years. And although this video hasn't completely changed me as a person, it has drastically helped me.

[@Shiro-wt8vn]

How are things going?

[@abdullahalshawi257]

Great tips, Can’t wait to try them out !

[@mekomaxxing]

me and ambivert: watch out extroverts i’m coming for your brand 🤡 but what he says is true abt just getting a job that forces you to be social in middle school i was completely introverted and never talked to anyone. but then in 8th grade i did “office helper” where you literally are forced to go interrupt classes to deliver stuff to kids or tell the teachers stuff. i also had to give tours of the school to new kids and help them out with their lockers. it really forced me to come out of my shell a lot!

[@aaryan7558]

I wish that was me ¦)

[@kikealvarez5722]

Even though I’m an introvert, I usually get out of my comfort zone with strangers... the problem is that after a while it is likely that I start to feel alone, even though I’m with people

[@nomoreescape4084]

Loved your video! Unfortunately meditation is still viewed by many as something 'hippieish' or 'buddhist', but the benefits of doing meditation is off the scale, what started for me as a way to getting rid of daily stress and anxiety turned into a total awareness of who I am and what life is all about. I am surprised that you didn't include Fitness when it comes to self esteem, as it naturaly builds self esteem and self respect. And indeed, talking to random strangers is the last thing a total introvert would do, but it is so worth it

[@calumx]

Yeah this definitely wasn't long enough to be comprehensive on Self-Esteem but anything you do for yourself in a positive way will enhance your self esteem. Glad you enjoyed!

[@deeprasania3429]

Talk to strangers. It is best advice. It has helped me.

[@iiidolo6086]

I think for me its just confidence if your confident then everything will align

[@anthonykaprielian191]

Some of what you're saying is true, but the problem is HOW do you become confident? Hit me up on my Instagram @mrkapss I might be able to help you out

[@Jadedgems]

edi wow some confident people are annoying to listen to though. Just be yourself and the right people will love you for it

[@chupapi7620]

@@Jadedgems just be yourself is the worst and cliche advice

[@Jadedgems]

i dont get the joke so you would rather be fake? Ok do you 👍🏽

[@maramurer1211]

him having to walk all the way back home after this: 😃

[@anibalromero619]

Great video! Helped me a lot, thanks my guy.

[@yogeshwariraut7013]

Loved it. Thank you for such good suggestion.

[@dimitristouhell2346]

i understand most people just by talking to them for some time but,I CANT FKING SOCIALIZE AND EVERYBODY AVOIDS ME!

[@orererererererereo8yearsag855]

That’s me if they avoid me and don’t want talk to me then I’ll avoid them I’m now not socializing person anymore

[@halmstad1246]

Joseph Stalin same here

[@godnyx117]

"If you work as a programmer" Yep that's me! Thanks for the video man!

[@alexanderSnilsson]

This is great content, i truly agree on everything you're saying based on my own journey and experience!

[@nechief]

I've got better at all those methods thanks to pickup. :D And found out that actually I can be pretty much extraverted, as I was at my school times. It's just really the way of life (I'm a programmer), that makes us intro- or extra- verts. But even without dramatical change in our life, we can become more sociable and believe me, happier as a result!

[@yaskinr99]

I am an introvert but can be the opposite at times .. i lack social skills a lot I have always turn into awkward situations ... I think that and also having midlow self esteem , but I like how you pointed out how fear is is restricting our uncomfortable body reaction and I never thought about it like this I’ll try out your tips and let you know the feedback .

[@calumx]

Nice!

[@margin100px]

Hey how things are going dude ??

[@mohoodie8728]

Being introverted is one thing. Being super insecure about your looks and being unattractive makes it worse.

[@Unknown-ki8yk]

I realized an important point in recent years. I am coming from a society where people usually interact with each other. However, I changed the country, and I cannot speak the local language, so my social life decreased. However, still, I have many people around me from different nationalities. But in the past, I had close friends with who I usually go outside and spend multiple hours together every week if it is not every day. Because I am in a different society this became less frequent. And I am mostly doing work and study alone, even training alone. I became a more introvert, full of hesitation, socially anxious, and avoiding social conversations as much as possible. But I know that when I go with a group of people and spend hours I become very extrovert and speak most of the time, especially, with girls, with no hesitation and end of the day I feel so happy, energized, motivated and full of passion. My productivity and my performance in sports have been boosted. (I also gain muscle mass, look healthier and feel healthier). But when I stay alone for a long time, even my playlist changes, automatically I listen to sad, dramatic music, feeling depressed and full of negative thoughts and I become sick often (probably stress level increases, that is why). But the good part is that I am able to push myself to get out of this inner world, and even communicate with strangers. I feel more present, with no overthinking, no more negativity, and I am focused. Even though I don't speak their language, most of the time they speak English as well. I educated myself in terms of social skills. I know that even if I have hesitation, It is better to shake hands, give a nice smile, and say kind words people are like a mirror, they also smile back and say positive words. And I know that I feel better because of doing and receiving it, probably, the person in front of me also like that situation. In this way, I spread positivity. Maybe in the beginning It feels like you force yourself, but later I see that this feels more natural, and this is how it should be. From time to time I lose my belief in positivity and kindness I think about only the dark side of the world and humanity. But I know that most people have the good part as well, no matter how selfish we are. Because I know I have kindness and I can't be alone in this. But I will learn the local language and improve my social circle. Last year I went to another country where I speak their language like a native, that is why I managed to have many friends, I was positive, confident, energetic, girls felt it, I received more attention than ever. I also got a girlfriend :) while flirting with multiple others. I was covered with positive friends who gave me support and confidence. Then I understood the importance of belonging to a group, a social circle where you are appreciated and accepted. I will try to do the same to other people and make them feel comfortable around me. So everyone's well-being can be improved.

[@Muskanpuri03]

Thank you for such useful tips! Totally appreciate your efforts🙏💛

[@calumx]

Thank you!

[@masteroogway1930]

I used to be an extrovert but I got bullied in middle and elementary school and it lowered my confidence and made me an introvert 😢

[@jessie126]

Same 😭

[@gug8774]

Hardest thing ive overcome I also had a miini breakdown crying after pushing myself to the limit. I approched 24 strangers over 4 weeks in a restuarant

[@javiertrevino5535]

Great video! will definitely check out that book. My dream is to be a successful entrepreneur but I have bad social skills and I'm somewhat of an introvert but my desire to fulfill my goals is stronger than my reluctance to improve my social and leadership skills so I am working on optimizing that part of myself in order to succeed

[@calumx]

Get it!

[@oviislam5164]

So true!! Because I've realized what you saying by my own in my life.

[@jackieb2853]

3:12 I can attest, getting a part time job as a cashier is good for breaking shy social tendencies. 👍

[@calumx]

Nice!

[@JhonnyStone100]

Yeah being a cashier helped my confidence but I still can’t maintain conversations

[@nerdymom2]

but rememebr,theres a difference between shyness,and social anxiety disorder

[@arafat3599]

Im so introvert my heart starts beating if guests come over or when im handed a video chat 🙁

[@neptunefog6082]

I am a very shy person by nature, have a quiet voice, and often feel embarrassed or just awkward. Like when i know i am supposed to say something, but i just can’t and stay quiet all the time, which looks wierd. I tried to pretend i am not shy and build social skills. It felt hard to a point i was , so to say, physically unwell when reaching out to people, like i was trembling or had a neck pain. At one point in life i think I managed to act more confidently and more at ease, at other times i regressed. I found that i felt more confident when i looked good, had good physical form, did sport. And also when there was a person , a friend or a partner, who appreciates or likes your being shy or just tells you smth like: it’s natural, or ot’s cute etc, in other words makes you feel ok about yourself just as you are, and not needing to be more confident, open, etc.. i think, interestingly, accepting that you are shy and not pretending to be not shy makes you less shy. Maybe for men it is more difficult.

[@barbie-by8xq]

Intresting! Hoping to learn more from your upcoming video 😁

[@graceanyango8795]

I just dont know what to say or do its like a panic attack or something i just cant make friends coz im shy and feel lonely in life

[@Jadedgems]

Grace Anyango realize that more people want to see the real you and want you to see the real them. Ask them questions. Don’t worry so much about how they see you. Be goofy, be yourself, and know that nothing really matters, don’t put so much weight into what other people think of you and the conversations you have, even if they’re awkward, there’s billions of other people to talk to out there

[@xxxod]

@@Jadedgems what if you don't have a 'real you'? what if you have no idea who you are, and your ego is based on what others do. just a conglomoration/abomination that lives by 1's and 0's. Thats what i think of myself

[@rawutah]

beautiful!!!!

[@dollarstorebarrontrump1141]

During the time of Covid-19, my social skills went 📉📉📉. This helped me. Thank you!

[@louloucaaa]

The fact that I have to look this up is telling enough

[@simbarashemaketa29]

I'm proud of you

[@saga7852]

I feel like people want to be friends with me but I don’t really talk to anyone bc I’m so shy and I can’t just talk to people you know?

[@emileebrignola5002]

I feel the same way and the sad thing is people try to have conversations with me and hangout with me but I just get so much anxiety and don’t know what to say even though I want so badly to be able to talk and laugh with people :/

[@fatdad2156]

im the oppsoite. I hate everybody if they arent similar to me, or proven that they shouldn't be hated by me. Call me a bad person for that all you want, but everybody else chose that for me.

[@lowxyy]

my tips are try to imagine yourself doing the things u cant, start a conv with yourself and ur mind and stand up &imagine there is someone infront of u and act like youre talking with them

[@danielbuenconsejo3619]

Very helpful video. Thank you! 🙏🏻

[@kapokikkodragneel1505]

I talk a lot, like rlly... A lot. But in my class (I think I messed that up in my first year in high school tbf... But ok) I am not befriend with them, and as long as I had 1 friend in my class I honestly didn't even care. But since she left my school, I'm alone and it's eating at me. Being alone in a class full of people you do know, but can't talk to is horrible. I sit next to this boy rn, and I actually rlly like him. His humor is amazing, the problem is that I can't talk to people who don't talk to me first. I would love to get to know him better, (Starting with him would be awesome because 1. I sit next to him, so it's easier 2. He's one of de nicer people in my class) but he doesn't start talking to me, and I can't start talking to him. So I'm rlly in a pinch XD

[@tiffanysar-lecluze5679]

I'm maybe too late but I suggest you to go for it ! What can you lose and if u do lose would only someone who wasn't meant to be ur friend. Also can really relate so dont push yourself to hard and do it only because you want to ;)

[@bri_29]

I have problems with social skills been struggling with it all my life and I’m 25 and still struggling

[@bri_29]

haleigh 😩😩😩 do you have Facebook?

[@leonmogilevsky3483]

Bridgette do you have facebook?it would be really nice to talk to you:)

[@bri_29]

Leon Mogilevsky yes I do it’s Bridgette Love

[@ccm393]

I fear not knowing what to say even if I already know the English language scares me as they might think of me

[@Kathyinframe]

Awesome video! Thank you so much. Take care.

[@saraguessous9455]

thank you it's really helpful!

[@alexb3831]

My friends: always being super funny* Me: thinking about something funny to say*

[@SparklSeoul]

Reeelatableeee

[@maverickmountain1234]

So this is what is going on with me: Who I can talk to without getting in my head: Closest friends Family Adults Who I don’t feel comfortable talking to and will get in my head if I go to talk to them: Kids my age that I may not know so well or that are strangers. I’ve also had these friends come over my house and when they would come over they acted toxic and it was hard for me to recognize that. (I was so caught up in my head and over analyzing everything all of the time) I would see these friends daily over the summer all of the time but no matter how many times, I’d still stutter in front of one of them is because I truly felt vulnerable to that one specific person that was over. The others though it was a little bit of stuttering that i would show with them however the stuttering with them though has gotten less.

[@_danahmed]

Great video... great advice, just hope I’m not too old to apply this.