How to feel safe when all we feel is stress & fear

Guess what? I’m writing a book. The entire process is embryonic, but the seed has been planted. (Not to keep you in suspense, but that’s as much as I can tell you.) I’m sharing this with you today, not for encouragement (even though I’ll happily take it!), but because my new writing mentor said something today that really landed for me: “What is one thing in your industry that everyone teaches, but you disagree with?”
For the record, I disagree with way more than one thing, ;) but for today, as a way to introduce this week’s new video, let’s start with the myth that you need to feel internal safety, and more importantly that you NEED TO FEEL READY, in order to start healing trauma.
*Side-bar to the above, because this might confuse some who saw a video I did not too long ago about the importance of finding safety and how we can improve our sense of it when we are solo. Here’s the important distinction: We need safety in our external environment, but we won’t have it internally at the start.
But, if our external world is technically safe, it’s possible that we won’t feel internally safe at the start, even if we have ALL THE THINGS in place in an attempt to make it feel safe. The biology just won’t believe it (due to past experiences) and it’ll think you are lying.
So the solution - don’t try to make things safe, but get better at being with the feelings of unsafety, and then go from there.
If you want to dive deeper into this topic, click over and watch.
Resources to compliment this video:
► Stephen Porges
www.stephenporges.com/
► Polyvagal Theory. Explained.
• The Polyvagal Theory. ...
► Gabor Mate’s book, When The Body Says No
drgabormate.com/book/when-the...
► Titration Explained: Never rush trauma healing
• Titration Explained: N...
► Four ways to spark up our social engagement nervous system without socializing
• Four ways to spark up ...
► Can I heal if I'm living in a toxic environment?
• Can I heal if I'm livi...
► How to set healthy boundaries in a toxic relationship || Q&A 002
• How to set healthy bou...
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Thank you for being here!
1. Leave a comment and let me know how this video impacted you. Feel free to leave a question (my team answers them each week!)
2. To get more nervous system health resources, plus learn more about me and my credentials, plus the many ways you can work with me at the practical level, head to my website: irenelyon.com
3. Follow me on social here:
Instagram: / irenelyon
Facebook: / lyonirene
LinkedIn: / irenelyon
SoundCloud: / irenelyon
4. GOT QUESTIONS? Send an email to: [e-mail]
__
Please know that…
The statements on this KZbin channel or in videos are simply opinion. Content presented or posted on this channel is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment or a professional therapeutic relationship. Content presented or posted is intended to provide general health information for educational purposes only and you should contact the appropriate healthcare professional before relying on any such information.
My website is a wealth of free resources and information on how to start this work, so here it is one more time: irenelyon.com

[@hew195050]

This is so necessary for those of us who cannot either afford or find someone who can take our hand and walk us thru this darkness.

[@tender3066]

Im in the same boat..:but stay open to meeting someone who has walked your struggle and come through the other side. The most healing experience there is, is a solid mentor. They exist, and they’re free, and often they become life long friends.

[@Taratreehugger]

That’s true. It’s so unfair. And also, even if you do find a therapist who can do it, you can only see them for one or two hours a week. It doesn’t feel like enough.

[@debbiesdirt7928]

Same boat. Need help, can't afford professional or online programs that cost 200-2000$.

[@roadmystic]

​@@tender3066I pray for friends like this.

[@JennaCiela]

This is so important. I reject how most people throw survivors into anxiety categories. Many people are trying to heal after surviving in dangerous environments for so long. Therapy doesn’t always work because it’s easy to regret opening up to practitioners, because clients still feel like it can still backfire on them somehow. I hear many people feel this way after trying to go to therapy.

[@aliveandwell3958]

As a chronic pain and anxiety sufferer, I haven't felt consistently safe in my body in years. I have moments where I'm completely calm, but I realize those moments aren't long enough (nor frequent enough) to totally desensitize my nervous system.

[@jeremysheets9140]

If you find something that helps please let me know

[@saliharoshan7636]

@@jeremysheets9140 I second your comment

[@thrillsbreh]

Let US know and god bless you all

[@shahilagh]

I know what u say .... once after a treatment I was better much better. I told to the practitioner that I feel sad (I was sad because I know from experience that this relief won't last much at all) ... he said we sometimes have secondary gains from pain, lets discuss this next time!............ I responded to him clearly ... isn't it sad that ppl who treat chronic pain patients have no idea of what chronic pain means and implies?

[@IreneLyon]

Hey there Alive and Well, Seth here with Team Lyon. I hear yah! I created an entire lifestyle of soothing for myself in order to manage my anxiety and chronic pain - lived out of the mainstream and mostly in the woods for 13 years, by myself or in small communities, including a hot springs resort for seven years where I could soak and sauna every day - and that did help me manage and feel relatively ok most of the time, but I never actually felt safe, and I was still in pain a lot unless I stayed stoned most of the time, and if I went into the world at all BAM, severe anxiety came rushing back. I never found true resolution and healing until I discovered this work and applied myself to it consistently. It took about seven years of learning and doing but now I DO feel safe and am completely free from chronic pain and anxiety. It can happen! If you haven't gotten into this work yet, it's definitely worth exploring. Irene has loads of free resources a person can explore to see if they resonate with her approach. And if you do, SmartBody SmartMind, our 12 week intensive is open for registration until end of day this Sunday. Or maybe private work with a practitioner would suit you better, that can be a great way to go too. Whatever way you do it, I encourage you to keep watching here, and to check out the practical side of the work too - it really can help! Here's some links to explore.... Free Resources - irenelyon.com/free-resources-2/ SmartBody SmartMind - smartbodysmartmind.com/ How to find a good Somatic Practitioner - kzbin.info/www/bejne/ZmW7d2p3g9Okfc0

[@bunny_0288]

I had a miscarriage a few months ago after trying to conceive for 11.5 years. It was emotionally traumatizing for me. The fact that a death occurred inside my own body while I was home in my bed. The place where I felt the safest completely messed me up. Because if something so horrible could happen there, it means nowhere is really safe. It means something horrible can happen anywhere and at anytime. And that put me into 24/7 fight or flight mode. I started having anxiety attacks and feeling anxious and a feeling of dread in my stomach almost every day for months. I no longer felt safe anywhere because something horrible happened while I was safe in my bed inside my own body. My digestion was messed up because I was in fight/flight mode. Every time I had heartburn I was convinced I was having a heart attack. It was bad. I developed rib pain from being constantly tense. I felt like I had no control and that nowhere was safe. I have slowly been getting better. The anxiety switched to more sadness and crying and depression last month which I actually preferred. I felt like I was actually grieving instead of thinking I was going to die soon, and I've been feeling better the last few weeks. I have actually gone several days without crying which is so good. And I've actually started feeling happy again. Before I felt either anxious, depressed, or like nothing mattered. But going months without feeling safe and thinking you're going to die is just horrible, and I'm sorry for anyone else who has gone through something like this.

[@bettywhite6672]

Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing. It will help others like me. ❤ I pray and hope you are feeling better. Much love and hugs to you.

[@irenemitrowka2397]

❤

[@juliehorsley48]

I am so touched by your comment and what you shared and I hope that you have continued to heal and meet the trauma and loss.

[@crystalw.bishop1374]

❤❤❤

[@marje2863]

Irene talks in this video about the importance of getting away from situations or relationships where it is not safe. What makes me feel unsafe is that I do not have a social network. I am all by myself. No one I can ask for help from if I need to, no relative who accepts me as I am, no one who wants to listen to me. No one ever makes contact. I have no problems talking to people or taking contact. During all my years, I am the one who kept relationships going and when I stopped calling the relationships died out. So I live in a situation where unsafety is there all the time. How can I create inner safety without the outer safety?

[@IreneLyon]

Hi Marie, Jen here from Team Lyon. Often inner safety and outer connection go hand in hand. As we take steps to grow access to ventral vagal physiology, forming social connections - including connections that are mutual and reciprocated - tend to become easier and more accessible. Irene talks about topics that relate to this in her free Healing Trauma video training, so I'll link to that. I'll also link to a video that talks about ways to experience that sense of connection without socializing. free Healing Trauma video training - irenelyon.com/healing-trauma Four Ways to Spark Up the Social Engagement Nervous System without Socializing - kzbin.info/www/bejne/oHXMmItsqrVrb9E

[@allthingsnewlife]

Faith and God helped me, completely different to religion/spirituality or churchianity- those did more damage. I wasn't raised in a Christian home, I was raised in a dark, addicted, violent pit - nowhere and no one was safe, yes really. Trying to heal so my little ones don't experience the adversity I did, I cried out to God for help He showed me Truth and set me free. These video's are pure gold wisdom and you've obviously been through significant trials. Thank you for helping so many. Ask and it shall be given to you, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be opened to you. Free indeed!

[@allthingsnewlife]

@@IreneLyon this is transformational, thank you especially for the links 🙏😘

[@beauthentic7493]

I have the exact situation for 3 years now. It's awful.

[@bambismomkelly7423]

Yes, I think many can relate to your experiences. Loneliness is at a record high in all countries. Many feel disconnected and lacking community. For me, my pets give me unconditional love and companion ship. I take joy and comfort in little things, such as hobbies, reading, cooking, walking my dog in nature. Also try to take some classes in things that interest you. I have found that book clubs help you connect to others, because you meet simply to talk to each other. I wish you much good luck in this challenge. You are not alone.

[@8no1likeme-infinitestar65]

I keep feeling "victim shamed" (I know I am not a victim although I was victimized )& blamed for my own abuse narcissistic abuse ,neglect and abandonment trauma . sometimes I wish someone else could sit in my session so they can tell me if I am right or if It's literally my twisted perception of people due to early childhood trauma..IDK having Cptsd really effects my life in ways I am struggling to change on my own but can't afford to find qualified help. I don't know what other work I can do other than KZbin videos and excersises.. It's so true that the symptoms keep me from doing the things I want and love to do and I would love companions in my life but I seem to have a thick aura of " you better back the F up buddy " & probably a glaring stare saying "don't you dare!"....talk about unintentional self sabotage ... I've been trapped for so long and now that I am free I'm realizing just how much is going on in me...its very overwhelming and takes all my energy to stay out of horrible depression...I am so very grateful for you beautiful soul...I can't wait to not be constantly in fight,flight, freeze, or fawn.. I feel God is calling me to share so much and I just can't get unstuck and find the confidence I need to even start. Bless your beautiful self....NAMESTE ❣😇🙏

[@bensouthall2612]

"not gonna come in and start being hostile and mean, hurting my client" - wish my previous therapists had had that view 🙄

[@barbaraalbert5600]

I received a text of termination with no explanation. With a"you must feel sad". After 12 years, twice a week she thought my go to was sad. Thinking no therapist. Transference is happening with anyone medical...and female as the main abuser was. I don't trust. This reinforced. And I've craplosds developmental. In my baby book is "fed by spoon at 13 days" Am kid #4, of 5. Within 7 years. Narc 'parents' . This is not about me, narcissism is a personality disorder (supposedly). I hope im starting to understand because I need for the narcs to stay in their graves. Not me talking about them in the present. And I deserve to be free like what needed

[@abcek6006]

I can relate to so much of this. Feeling the things in your body. Although its uncomfortable, it does work. For me the feeling of not doing/being good enough is so present in my system. I can literally feel it.

[@teamlyon3109]

Hi abce, Jen here from Team Lyon. Another of Irene's videos came to mind when I read your comment. I'll share it here in case you want to check it out. Disgust: The Gateway Emotion for Healing Toxic Shame - kzbin.info/www/bejne/aHzPh2SweZqUqdk

[@suzannemartin6817]

Thanks for sharing that example. It’s helping me understand better what Irene is talking about.

[@MayanPrincess3]

I’ve been suffering with severe anxiety. I think the most severe I’ve ever had it in my life besides when I was a child and would cry for hours unnoticed or told to shut up or else I would get hit. My body has gone into full blown PTSD for the past year and a half. I realized my nervous system is shot. I shake uncontrollably sometimes over very small stressors. Thank you for these videos. I don’t have the funds right now but I’m hoping one day I can pay for your program

[@SybilNix]

I love that you mentioned the fact that we can’t just wait to be in a fully safe environment, and I think this reaches us on a subconscious level, too. Because our mind is so focused on the threat, there will NEVER be a truly “safe” moment to know it’s time to begin. I’m an education major and my independent study is about teaching educators how they can help students feel regulated during the school day so that they are actually receptive to the learning environment. (It’ll also help educators feel regulated themselves, which is so important for classroom management and their general health?) But how can they truly feel safe when the news is full of school shootings?? Thank you 💖

[@annalynn870]

hi i'm sorry this is random but i'm a hs senior trying to figure out my major for next year and i'm wondering if you're looking to make teaching educators how to make students feel safe your actual career? that sounds absolutely incredible to me and i'm just wondering what path you're planning to take with that if you'd be willing to share!

[@jAnEl1111]

That is phenomenal, I've been thinking about how we need this!!! I have been struggling with certain individuals within my daughter's elementary school system. Would you have any recommendations on jargon/language that facilitates communication with those who think it's okay to repeatedly deny a child with severe anxiety to seek help during a panic attack in class. We had a system setup with a counselor and therapist, but the teacher denied her to utilize it. She said, things like just swallow your tears and sit down, or your just nervous, your fine, No. I am at a loss with those who haven't had an understanding, while the school is covering their ass, with all these empty platitudes. I would love to read what you've been working on, or would gladly take any advice:) Thank you:)

[@somatische-integration]

I have no words to express my gratitude for all the amazing work you are putting out there!! The knowledge about trauma and its integration has the potential to change the world! And you are a big part of it!! Thank you Irene!! ❤❤❤

[@amberinthemist7912]

I know this is old but I'm just finding you. This is so beautiful and helpful.

[@hyenaedits3460]

I didn't even think about how my early childhood hospitalizations could have impacted my psyche more than just my medical phobias. This is super helpful!

[@fifiearthwanderer]

Wow! Same!

[@scottphillips2420]

it's like the power of a secret, once you air it out it seems to go away.

[@LaEllen1]

You have to feel all the feels; no bystepping.

[@jeremysheets9140]

95% pain 5% not

[@heartsofgoldenrod]

I didn’t experience adversity you discuss when I was young, but did have a traumatic event about ten years ago, that I have been able to make a lot of progress on, but am still dealing with surrounding unsafe because the people involved are still around and are seeming to infiltrate my safe circle, making it very hard for me to be trusting and heal. Am looking forward to hearing this video, as I’m looking for a way to feel safe despite what’s going on outside of me right now.

[@IreneLyon]

Hello, Sophie here from Team Lyon. Thank you for your comment, you appreciate you sharing. If you'd like to know more about your nervous system and how to work with it, we recommend Irene's abundant free resources and mini-training over here: irenelyon.com/free-resources/ Additionally, we recommend this video of Irene talking about how to heal in a toxic environment kzbin.info/www/bejne/i2WsmKeoj6l9jsk

[@Angels_Are_Real]

This is a majorly important subject. Thank you. You are a diamond.

[@learning4705]

16:55 also if you 'have' a house to be safe in (not at risk of being evicted).

[@yvasquez2449]

I go around constantly feeling unsafe…like something bad is about to happen to me. I can’t even define what that bad thing is but I have these constant feeling of dread and doom. Sometimes is overwhelming and any little problem triggers that feeling, thinking “this is it, isn’t ? Is the bad thing I have been waiting for. Sometimes I can control it but often I can’t and I wake up at night feeling afraid and I don’t even know of what! It is truly exhausting.

[@IreneLyon]

Y Vasquez, Jen here from Team Lyon. You described to a "T" what it can feel like for some of us when we are living from a place of survival physiology. The good news is that this can change when we learn to work with the nervous system. I'll link to Irene's free Healing Trauma video series in case you'd like to learn more, and also to one of her free practices. free Healing Trauma video training - irenelyon.com/healing-trauma 4 Simple Steps to Calm Overwhelm - irenelyon.com/4-steps-to-calm-overwhelm/

[@Lilybsdgirl]

Especially during a pandemic I am raising a baby and trying so hard to keep my fears at Bay so that I can be there for my child. Our mentality has a long term impact on ourselves and our children.

[@khansherani]

Create more capacity of feelings, and then let u observe the sensations of unsafety and fear with ur awareness till it titrate bit by bit and dissolve within u

[@christinewawra]

This is so helpful! Thank you 🥰 I often accused myself for feeling the supposedly same very heavy feelings like blank fear, insecurity and despair. All triggered by some actual constellation or event. But: now I realize that this is part of the healing and I am going through again and feel from a different position. Maybe sometimes actual experiences bring the old ones up... So after this video I feel encouraged.....

[@culturedancer]

It sounds like this process is gradual desensitization through systematically confronting triggers or in other words, a kind of immersion therapy. I agree that merely avoiding triggers doesn't work.

[@TheBlackCat1337]

my brain injury has limited my ability to do creative thought and imagination. Which along with the other symptoms has made most coping strategies moot and my only way out of each long and torturous episode is through I can't remember, mostly gets me numb to it until another things that is triggering or emotional gets stronger and takes its place.. I can't find anything while still dealing with the mental and health issues which makes basic self care a hard thing to do, even a basic daily task can be like walking through a battlefield. the more i distract from it and get a small day or two break (which is a improvement!) the more it comes back and more intense and pin point. The trauma of being tortured and not having control of most of yourself for years is a bumpy and steep one.

[@malamadrone2520]

This feels so true in my body. As a person who always feels precarious and questions my safety constantly, I have never heard anyone explain this so clearly. I've done so much work around safety... but this feels so healing to build my capacity and feel my survival energy.

[@swedishmirage1728]

Thank you so much for this! 🙏This is exactly where I'm at in my journey. Always trying to force my healing with terrible results. I'm finally realizing I have to be gentle with my system.

[@fifiearthwanderer]

I feel the same way! I am to harsh and try to force it but that only adds more distress .

[@kinzy5401]

Your voice is very calming, you're very intelligent.. I wish my mom were like you..

[@butterflytotem]

Thank you Irene! You're amazing and are giving me hope to finally heal from chronic pain and CPTSD. I love your energy, your voice and regulation. You're so soothing to me! Thanks with all my heart 🤗💜💜💜

[@imaginationturtle5447]

Hi! I’m also learning to heal from cptsd - I was stuck for almost a year but have been making so much progress lately thanks to this channel and inner child work from Patrick Teahan - writing to myself and doing new things. Adhd meds also really helped but before all of that the real change came from the other stuff I mentioned

[@smyrnasstory]

“Safeguard practical wisdom and thinking ability. When you lie down, you will have no fear; You will lie down, and your sleep will be pleasant”

[@shakagcl]

You articulate so brilliantly what I have been aware of for so long. Until I found your videos 3 years ago and later did the 21day and SBSM, I had a "nack" of picking unsafe guides, eg, The sleep specialist who when I said, "I think this (sleep apnea) might have something to do with having been birthed breached." To which she sarcastically replied, "That was a long time ago, George!", Implying I should just get over it and she was only one of many. The stuff just keeps surfacing til it "don't" (sic), and I'm so glad even at age 80 that it does, eg, This past month survival arousal kicked in BIG TIME when I had a medical issue "down there" and my mind was convinced I had Covid so having much medical trauma en utero and early childhood, I put off going to the hospital hoping the symptoms would go away. They didn't. So in big trembling survival arousal I bit the bullet, and wound up in the hospital where i spent 5 days on IV antibiotics, ate great veg food (Adventist hospital), had great doctors, tended to by sweet Thai nurses,

[@teamlyon3109]

Hi George, Jen here from Irene's Team. We met at Up & Down in Vancouver a few years back. Definitely hearing you on the way this stuff sticks around until it don't. Glad you were able to navigate your survival state to go to the hospital and get what sounds like some great TLC!

[@whoami1654]

How did you get on with the 21 day programme.

[@lolamarie3884]

Irene, I can’t quit put this simply, yet whenever I watch / listen to your videos, I feel so soothed. The way you teach is really something and I’m so grateful for that. I listen to some teachers sometimes, and although their information is pretty good, I end up feeling so much more dysregulated… not sure if anyone else experiences this?! So anyway, Irene, THANK YOU!!

[@IreneLyon]

Hi Lola, Seth here with Team Lyon. Thanks so much for sharing this. What you describe makes perfect sense and yes, many other people have shared similar experiences. You system is feeling Irene's regulation, as well as taking in the info. Most people, including many in the helping healing worlds, are not regulated.

[@Doorto_theriver]

This is an amazing point, Seth! I also feel Irene’s regulation. It makes me feel so safe and understanding. It feels maternal in a way, too, which feels very good for me. I feel so blessed to have found you guys.

[@jamierobb6354]

​@@IreneLyon Hey Seth. This makes so much sense. Haven't thought about co-regulation, but I feel the same way. These videos soothe, while most other videos I've watched from other practitioners or trauma focused channels further dysregulate. Very helpful to finally know why. Thanks :)

[@maryisbell6421]

I experience more in some videos and it's really hard

[@DarenHarmon]

I find myself listening to her content when I am going through stuff and end up feeling a lot better about things

[@SunnyBunney]

I feel like this video validates emdr. I have been doing emdr therapy for a year, and it seems as tho a LOT of stuff has come up for me to deal with and it’s been intense. But I am praying that it’s worth it. Some brain rewiring courses say not to bring up any trauma ever… but you gotta feel it to heal it.

[@IreneLyon]

Sunny, Jen here from Team Lyon. We find that people can have mixed reactions to EMDR. Some find it very helpful, others don't notice much difference, and some have adverse reactions. It can be important to feel one's experience, and from a nervous system perspective, it's important to do so while also respecting one's current nervous system capacity. Many of us need to take steps to grow capacity in order to be able to meet and hold our experience in ways that create sustainable change. I'll link to a few related videos in case you'd like to learn more. How to create a practice to grow nervous system capacity - irenelyon.com/2019/01/15/how-to-create-a-practice-to-build-nervous-system-capacity/ How trauma is really released? - kzbin.info/www/bejne/mYCplGmjr8qFa6M

[@SunnyBunney]

@@IreneLyon omg thank you so much! I really appreciate this ♥️

[@tbicaretaker4232]

Thank you for providing so much powerful and informative content for free.

[@itr6540]

Is it always about childhood? Tbh i have lost all my safety feeling after I moved abroad, experienced racism, abusive work and private relationships. I have been a very trusting person with lots of hobbies, successful career, and also talents in art but I have become a a completely different person, lost everything beautiful, everything I enjoyed and loved. I have been broken to an incredible degree by some people, every person I see in this country is a potential threat for me because I have been harrassed even at doctor, and healers. I dont know where I can go in such a world. I am in survival state, oscillating between giving up and surviving. Afraid of even my neighbours. I keep on watching healing stories of stray dogs to keep hope. I have no trust to any person anymore. (I used to have lots of friends until age of 28) this all happened afterwards. I feel all those unpleasant sensations, my body is like on electricity, but doesnt help for me.

[@IreneLyon]

Itır - It's not always about childhood, yet it often is at least in part. Sometimes it is stressors in adult life that expose a nervous system that was not regulated to begin with. Here's one of Irene's posts about surprising experiences that may be traumatic: irenelyon.com/2019/01/15/9-common-human-experiences-that-can-be-traumatic-but-are-often-seen-as-not/ -Mara with Team Lyon

[@ericarceneaux]

Love this so much!

[@flosotall3041]

Whenever feeling a high levels of stress I automatically think people are out to get me and start having psychotic episodes. I thank you for you enlightening me on this subject. Again thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[@JessentialLife]

Thanks again for another video, Irene ♡

[@joanazokos2297]

Thank you Irene. I am so grateful I've found you. I am learning so much!

[@louiseyoung1231]

Thank you. This is a helpful reminder. Thank you 💜

[@annyspb1]

Nice one, Irene. As so often, exactly what I needed to hear. Love & hugs

[@ashleyandrews1277]

Can’t wait to read your book 💕

[@BrendaJoan100]

Thank you this makes sense. I have done much counselling in a safe environment, but perhaps more is required to release stress related to past trauma in childhood.

[@BigLMTL]

Well explained, love all your videos, thanks for sharing. Such a great help for healing.

[@sig1528]

You are so comforting and reassuring 😘

[@mirandacoles9425]

Yes! This is my experience and I happened to reflect on this last night @attuneforconnection. I’m an adoptive mum so I’m not only dealing with my own survival stressors and impulses but those of my child as well. Her reactions are mighty triggers for me so I’m having to work damn hard to build capacity. It’s essential!!!! So love what you’re saying here Irene - thank you 🙏

[@stephanieg4950]

excellent information. came at such a timely moment too as im doing EFT therapy. thank you!

[@pattif192]

Thank you for everything you do.♡

[@flosotall3041]

Amazing been battle with this type of survival mechanism for years. It’s not serving me anymore I need to let go now and do the work that leads me to better health. Thank you Irene you are amazing

[@fifiearthwanderer]

Literally took the words out of my mouth. Wow its awesome to see other people that cab relate to my experience I have Always felt like I was the only one. I never understood it.

[@inesperndorfer7894]

@@fifiearthwanderer i feel the exact same way. would like to meet some of you in person i feel like haha it would probably be helpful

[@kimberlytrent5245]

Same here. So alone

[@shandalyn1865]

Thank you for the work you do and resources provided. Your work has been instrumental for my healing journey 💕

[@isabellek.proulx7229]

Never heard this subject explained so well.....thank you!

[@louisahadley7082]

I was hoping that this video was going to be about how to feel safe right now. I have woken up in a state of extreme distress and fear. My trauma symptoms are highly activated and I feel like I'm in a nightmare. Do you have any videos that can help you when you need help 'right now', when your trauma symptoms are highly activated and it feels unbearable?

[@chemical93girl]

Another amazing video as always

[@marnieaflalo3702]

Thankyou so much, I’ve been doing this full time for 2 years and recently I’ve been worrying it’ll be this intense forever etc.. and what can i structure into my daily life to up things to the next level. So this video was so validating and reassuring and guiding. I learn from and appreciate your work so much!

[@healherheartempath2151]

Im in the process of it now. I recognize when I have survival stressors creeping up in situations. The skills and support I have help little by little.It does take time and effort even with the awareness

[@ShaySails]

Thank you very much for your vital work! I share your videos frequently and recommend your courses and workshops.

[@leila595]

I appreciate this channel so much.

[@chemical93girl]

Thank god for you irene, you have no idea how much you help people

[@Standownevil]

You just described ME:)~🤓 Thank you for THIS exactly what our entire WORLD needs. 💙

[@alexandraazer1990]

Irene, you are just awesome

[@rosiewills2431]

Thank you too so much, your time and lessons are very helpful.

[@mariaramos4033]

Thank you for this amazing video. You explain everything so nicely and clearly.

[@madselving669]

This is a video which Can help so much! Thank you so much for your work, it saves lives and you really put this hard topic into a perspective anyone Can handle. It helped me so much

[@adamb.9968]

Thank you-you convey these ideas very, very well.

[@careangel...lorinda8455]

Thank you Irene, for explaining this awesome info. with such flow and finesse.

[@Kuruflower]

Thank you Irene!!

[@PGHRS]

As like many other video Irene.... outstanding

[@Lilredjeanie]

Thank you so much for this. I've been on this major tsunami ride for the past couple of days and this education really helped me. I felt almost desperate for not finding any safety in myself or from the connections I have but understanding this somehow helped me to get the connection to my body (to be specific - to the gut) and it's sensations and the terror and the anxiety decreased immediately. Absolutely amazing experience.

[@teamlyon3109]

That's great Annastiina, thanks so much for sharing! - Seth from Team Lyon

[@divinenonbinary]

I’ve been doing this bite size pieces thing for a while and now i feel like inability to let out the tsunami is the proof that the block, the wall is still there. I really wish it came up all at once, so I can’t automatically suppress it by accident :(

[@fifiearthwanderer]

Wow!! I can relate. I feel like my body automatically suppresses it at this point like a knee jerk Reaction. Its hard not to do it. It causes a disruption when I try not to. And I find myself trying to pry that wall down but I think forcing it doesn't help but I get so desperate to release the sensation of distress and tightness.

[@patglennon9671]

@@fifiearthwanderer i can relate, nervoous system jacked up.

[@johnykryll]

Brilliant explanation, really made sense to me. Thank you for taking the time to help folk

[@arnovandijken3262]

Incredibly well explained👏

[@wrigren216]

Yesss. I plan to include your knowledge in my planning purposes for opening a trauma-informed school. Thank you 🙏🏾

[@iamenough6958]

Great idea Keep us posted

[@iamenough6958]

Dr Joy Degruy

[@holysaintjoydivergence2195]

Thank you so much for taking the time to make your video it is helping me understand how to recover from trauma a little bit easier; and a little bit at a time.

[@iseeyouurloved1703]

12:42 This is very clear for me thank you

[@Jackie_YG]

I learn a lot from you ..Thank you so much 🌹

[@rthompson10101010]

Thank you. Great video.

[@BlenyyG]

This is well said, thank you.

[@thesoulovermind297]

It isn't always safety first. Thank you for considering that you can start healing first.

[@vorahstory8528]

That's really helpful because I have fear of get in my bed and it is such a comfy bed makes me realise why

[@susansalaman6278]

Wow!! You explained this so well. Thank you❤

[@juliacooley713]

They’ve said I stink, they’ve said I should let go of the past. My male case manager was never there for me as he never showed up for appointments and I was changed to a new female case manager but I like how you said about assessing the situation. To be curious is like I’m guided but to keep fearing is where the cellular safety comes in like that it is comfortable. You’ve taught me that to deactivate and brought up when I was caught in the ocean and on a river rafting trip I went under the raft and came up with the raft over my head and had to save myself, swim ashore.

[@chrismarklowitz1001]

Hi irene I've found it's very difficult for me to experience the "little waves" as my nervous system will constantly throw anxiety after anxiety at me for good reason as my thoughts will be I dont want to say negative but definitely anxiety provoking so I dont know how to titrate in this situation where I'm always anxious basically

[@IreneLyon]

Hi Chris, thanks for your comment, this is Seth with Team Lyon. So from what you say, I think the key is in learning to really focus on the felt sense, NOT the thoughts or emotions, or interpretation. The nervous system actually doesn't throw anxiety at you, it presents you with sensations associated with an unresolved sympathetic arousal (fight/flight) state. That is what we call 'anxiety' - it is a cluster of sensations that we've given that label to. What normally happens is people become overwhelmed by the sensations, and that produces a fear response, and all of that triggers thoughts, which trigger more of the sensations. A positive feedback loop with negative results. The way to break this cycle is to really focus on the felt sense of the sensations themselves, understand they won't harm you, and work with the physiology to create space for those sensations, or to help soothe them, or to pay attention to other areas of the body that don't feel that way, or to move your attention more to the external environment. This is all stuff we teach in Irene's online programs, so those could be good to check out! irenelyon.com/programs/

[@esmieadele8865]

WOW, never have i heard anyone explain why i went into shutdown response as a baby even though my parents were loving, i was born with a birth defect and only last year (age 20) after 8 surgeries was the defect found. so yes recent years have been deeply traumatic, but long before that ive felt deeply unsafe and unregulated within myself. thank you so much for mentioning that birth defects can do this!!! working towards feeling safe, its slow and hard but im determined!

[@annunderwood8025]

Oh how much this has helped me understand why it’s taken a year and a half to feel “somewhat safer” from a toxic relationship. This explains so much.. so thankful for this channel. Be blessed.

[@morningdevotionswithnickpe436]

This is good. Thank you for this.

[@jennstofko1150]

Fantastic !!!!!

[@tarakadir9259]

Thank you 🙏🏻 ❤️

[@iamenough6958]

OMG Thanks Irene!!!

[@JustD1zz]

As one who's disregulated, I can't help but feel that Any emotion(s) are just a big ball of yarn that was wrapped up quickly and thrown in to a bucket of other tangled, wrapped up balls of yarn. I do understand that there Needs to be regulation set in place to better understand (And unravel that yarn!) My emotions but it's Extremely difficult to start that process. The energy is too much And there is a voice calling out but I'm just unprepared to listen And feel. It's almost like having someone believe in you in order for Yourself to believe in you - I almost need someone to do the 'Feeling' for me so that I can better understand as they may translate better. I just wish we had USB ports in us at this point so that we can be hooked up to a system and be shown what Exactly is happening or having something that can pinpoint the most Severe emotion as a start. Again, I just have a hard time trusting And translating what I'm feeling so that I can work on it. Thank you Irene for your knowledge!

[@teamlyon3109]

Hey Just D1z, Seth here with Team Lyon. This makes complete sense. When we experience trauma early on, and then over and again, all those emotions and sensations do often tend to become snarled and wrapped up together. We call this the trauma vortex. Even better than a usb port though, is education and somatic, nervous system based practices. It's very important to learn about trauma physiology, as well as the physiology of regulation, so we can cognitively understand what is happening inside us. This helps the threads start to loosen a bit. the body knows what it is ready to heal, and will present us with what is most important in the moment as we learn more and turn our attention to it. Then the somatic practices, we call them neurosensory exercises, give us ways to work with what is unraveling. So please keep watching and learning and consider trying out Irene's free resources! I've put some links below that may be helpful. Healing Trauma, a free 3-Part Video Training - irenelyon.com/healing-trauma Free Resources - irenelyon.com/free-resources-2/

[@lenajakobsson1042]

Thank you so much Irene! How do you do this work when you constantly get overactivated spending time with people and the survival stress gets really high? Are you supposed to feel the activation in the body while you´re relating to others? If that´s the case, I find it really hard while listening and talking to others....

[@teamlyon3109]

Hi Lena Jackobssen, Jen here from Team Lyon. Many people with trauma, and especially those of us with early/developmental trauma get easily over activated spending time with people. As for what to do, there's not an easy answer as it depends on your history and nervous system. In general, in situations such as these you might consider stepping away to give your system (and you!) a chance to settle, or interact with the people you're with in a way that supports this (settling/deactivation). If you haven't yet seen Irene's free Healing Trauma training I'd encourage you to check it out as I think it might shed some more light on your question and the experience you describe. I'll link to it here in case you want to check it out. irenelyon.com/healing-trauma

[@travisn346]

My experience: when the mind is consistently engaged in creative and intellectual activities, fear shuts off. No amount of rest or relaxation ever helped me. Data coming in through your senses needs to confirm that anxiety is unnecessary.

[@LIVINGLIFETRAUMAFREE]

Great insight thank you...

[@mhvandorp48]

Thank you for the interesting videos. It struck me that I would even go further in being critical regarding 'creating safety' for processing trauma. Could it not be that by creating to much safety, a false sense of reality is created which will be falsified in real life? A perceived internal locus of control in the artificial situation, might prove insufficient in real life situations, and so even provide a reinforcing force of the traumatic sensations.

[@momione11]

Thank you.❤️

[@marenmacmichael6988]

This is what I needed to hear today. Thank you.

[@carollecampeau4750]

Thank you so much!

[@margrietjanssen8366]

If you dare to feel what you really feel, without any thought, you are safe.

[@nataliehalford4444]

Thanku Irene!!!!!!!

[@sarinahay1523]

😢😢 I just cry listening to this. I’m just suffering too much and family n partner is also a trigger cuz they say mean things when you go into fight or flight.

[@steve7015]

Great video!

[@Mika-kq1qd]

I think safety isn't something I have ever felt much like love and trust..they exist in various stages with different people and situations..I feel like I'm constantly swinging back and forth between fight flight freeze and play dead.. I'm trying to heal from severe childhood and adulthood trauma living in an unsafe neighborhood and trying to get to a point of thriving in order to move.. I'm tired of being afraid I'm tired of struggling and just want peace

[@IreneLyon]

Hello there, Sophia from Team Lyon here. I hear you and I think you might be interested in this free training irenelyon.com/healing-trauma The information included speak about what you mention in your comment and are likely to answer many of your questions.

[@nhvkuy4675]

Thank you for this useful video!