How to find your creative direction

A handful of years ago, I was at a major creative crossroads-struggling with performance anxiety, feeling lost in my creative direction, and seriously considering quitting music altogether.
This is the story of the most important lesson I learned that led me to my biggest personal creative breakthrough-causing me to reinvigorate my passion for music and pivot from being a classical trumpet player to an experimental performer-composer who makes music with electronics, modular synths, and trumpet.
I was encouraged to share this here by a few friends who heard the story and found it impactful. My hope is that this will be helpful and supportive for anyone who is perhaps experiencing a similar period of uncertainty / doubt in their own musical journey!
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Sarah Belle Reid is a Canadian performer-composer, active in the fields of electroacoustic trumpet performance, intermedia arts, music technology, and improvisation.
www.sarahbellereid.com

[@opticalman6417]

The biggest realization for me when it comes to music is realizing there is no such thing as crap music its all about resistance you either resonate with something or you don't everything is energy with a resonate frequency you attune to that or you don't and for that very reason i couldn't careless weather someone like my music or not anymore as its none of my business as long as i like my music that's all that matters to me these days i am making music for my own pleasure if someone else like it hay i guess its a bonus

[@sarahbellereid]

I completely agree -- follow and create the things YOU love!

[@wanja.official]

This is truely touching. I just let go a planned one-year-artist-coaching, feeling "not ready" as I wanted to explore on a broader level my musical fundament (not speaking of mastering them). So much to investigate couragely! With the coaching I felt like choosing a way which could be a too fast solution for distilling an artistic expression and identity. And I also avoided some incomfortable situations as well to be honest. Now I am taking finding my creative direction in my own hands. That feels challenging as well but I have a deeper sense of broadening my musical and artistic expression. And I gain a feeling of embracing my coming errors. Your video was very encouraging. Thank you!

[@josipvulic5471]

Beautifully said! Forever following those nudges.

[@the_washington_monument_am9714]

TO THE NERVOUS AMONGST US: You will never be ready to do something worth until well after you’ve done it. To suck, to be bad, to fail at something is a sign that you are growing - constant comfort it your work is a sign of stagnation, that you’re not pushing yourself. Had you at age one refused to walk because of nerves about the hazards of standing up, your life would probably be a whole lot worse. Be at least as brave as your one year old self and take those first few steps. Excellent video as always Sarah!

[@ceciliagently]

as someone who has a sort of natural distrust of musical youtubers , im glad i took a chance & listened to this video today. over the past few days ive actually been thinking a lot about my own musical journey & considering making something just like this , something that may have helped guide the younger version of myself had i seen it , and im grateful you did because i would love to see it become a trend. thank you !

[@shambien]

"Following your guts" is highly misunderstood: it's precisely about listening to that quieter voice or nudge, as you say, but conditioning and fear are almost always louder for a lot of people, so they restrict themselves to the most beaten path rather than find or create their own. Keep spreading courage and keep grooving! Much appreciated candid tale of your experience and non linear path 😉👌💪👍🙏❤

[@disagofecit]

Hi Sarah...I admire you. I have look some videos of you, that teach me interesting things. This one has been so inspirer. Thanks for share your story. I am more than 50 years old and recently start on music and specially electroacustic...it´s a wonderful world and experiences like you tell us are so helpful in order to get confidence on creation we are able to do. Good luck and big hug from Ecuador!!

[@lunr_girl]

thank you so much for sharing! 💖

[@izzymonkey]

Your insights underscore the delightful power of staying open to *surprise*, even when that means surprising yourself. Curiosity + empathy lends us a generative "yes, and..." framework. Cheers for sharing your experience.

[@sarahbellereid]

Ohh yes! "even when that means surprising yourself" -- so good! I hadn't thought about it that way before.

[@TheScreamingFrog916]

I started as an improviser and took the leap to play songs. Now I play all kinds of music, except written. I must have some element of improvisation in everything I do. And I really love my tape and “noise” experiments so much, and even have an audience for them 😊 Your story is very inspiring ❤

[@Diamond_Eyes_24]

Thanks for sharing your story Sarah. Very inspiring. You listened to your intuition: that tiny little voice that the ego likes to stomp on and drown out. ❤❤

[@tammymakesthings]

One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever received was, “do the thing that scares you the most”. It’s never not scary, but many of the best experiences I’ve had in my life have come from doing the things that scare me.

[@heleneblondel1937]

Hi :) a few years ago I was lost in music. I was composing on Ableton but I didn't know exactly what I was looking for. Then someone introduced me to analog synthesizer through a building workshop, and this week, I knew that was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. But I knew nothing about electronics or synthesizers, and I was feeling super unconfident and not legit to build synths. I even had depression.. but what saved me is to make it. Practicing, playing and building helped me to trust myself a bit more, and every concert is hard but I know that I'm growing. Improvising with modular helped me also to reconnect with cello, my first instrument, and now I'm starting the process of joining both in my music. I'm still at the beginning of my journey in this practice, even tho it's getting a bit more serious and professional now, but as you are saying, I try to trust my intuition, and to go for it because this is what I want to do and I don't want to miss out because of insecurities. Thank you for your work, you are really inspired for me, and I like when you are doing videos like this All the best for every artist here, I wish you all to find your way

[@hakanl135]

This was Beautiful 🙏♥🙏 gratitude and thanks for sharing your amazing journey and the power of listening to the inner voice and not the one coming from the ego mind.

[@JimmyLem]

While I couldn't find time to listen to the VLP (yet), I decided this close-mic'd soothing voice was exactly what I needed today! I began my journey kind of from the other direction. No training at all outside of the recorder which I avoided and “lip synced” in school. Instead I found the make-funny-noises-on-tape world. The Beatles' "Revolution #9," John/Yoko recordings, and especially psychedelic music showed me that experimental sounds were perfectly valid. This was around the time that corporate rock like Styx, Billy Joel, Foreigner, The Eagles were the big thing. Around 1980. As a teen, I spent a couple summers trying to get my friends interested, Literally proclaiming things like “hey guys. let’s make a revolution with these paint cans and your older brother’s weird fuzz box” but AD&D, Atari 800 and metal guitars dominated my immediate friend group. Eventually, I bought a bass and a few guitars, a drum machine & mustered the courage to buy a 4-track and create my own indie/alt-rock, while keeping elements of my earlier experiments alive. I loved practicing my own form of steganography-hiding bits of weirdness in recordings, whether solo or with others. Lots of times, it would be a Digitech looper or backwards stuff or flying in sound effects. My younger friend group dissipated and one of their older brothers asked me to perform on the radio with his friends in 1987. This expanded into occasional gigs at bars (yuck - I mean, I have had people yell in my face to “play Freebird.” - other favorite quotes “play something we can dance to” and “are you guys done tuning up yet?”). Eventually, we found book stores were wonderful and I did things at Knitting Factory and outdoor at Prospect Park. But I loved the confrontationist aspect. Getting a really long cord and walking into the bathroom with the bass, removing strings in the performance, feedback. Much of this comes from punk and ideas you might find with Alan Vega for instance but also the Dylan/Rotten voice and me saying "I can do that too." My performance anxiety stemmed mainly from the unpredictable reliability of bandmates ("who's showing up today?"), our unbalanced recordings, and venues pulling stunts like pushing our sets to 2 AM. Still, I was fortunate to have access to a radio station where I performed countless times, often emerging happily into the dawn light to grab breakfast at some diner on the way home. We kept things spontaneous-no advance planning, rarely even discussing which keys we'd play in. It was perfect for me because I could freely experiment with unusual contraptions-like a cheap mandolin with an extracted mic element held on by electrical tape, or just an assortment of toys and hardware. I won’t go on too much longer here but if you listen to anything I make more recently, I am so comfortable meeting up with that 13-year old me again and just having fun with and being still generally fascinated with sound. I see generative techniques like a “god game” - I would suggest Kevin Kelly’s book Out Of Control or just go find a DOS machine and play SimLife.

[@AmbientMusicStudio]

I played rock music on guitar as a teenager, and then someone introduced me to King Crimson, which led to Frippertronics, which led to Brian Eno, which led me to study avant garde music at university. I built an experimental music studio. I bought an old reel to reel and made my own loops. Then I found out that you're not a "real" guitarist if you can't play the blues. So I got frustrated because I don't have the blues. This lead me to believe that I had to figure out what kind of guitar music I was supposed to play in order to be a "real" guitarist. Was it jazz. Prog? Americana? Hard rock? Whatever it was, there was always something else that was what "real" guitarist play. Can you play Chuck Berry? Keith Richards is the king! What about Slash? Eventually guitar became a prison and music was drudgery. And then I discovered a german musician named Ulrich Schnauss, which led to Marconi Union, which led to be buying my first modular synth and my musical world started to open up again. Now I happily make whatever I feel like making. I'm part of a tiny modular synth group in Vancouver BC. We get together once a month and put on shows for 30 or 40 people. Music is real again. I still can't play Sweet Child of Mine though. So I guess I'm still not a "real" guitarist :D

[@sohndervenus]

It always touches me when I see people share their wisdom and experiences out of genuine compassion! Thank you Sahra for listening to the quiet voice and for encouraging others to do the same! By doing that you're bringing more light into the world than you can propably imagine! Be blessed!💗😊🙏

[@dillipphunbar7924]

Bless ya Sarah

[@stratocaster_o]

Thank you so much for this videos, Sarah ♥

[@howardyermish]

Thank you so much for sharing this. Diving into modular synthesis was definitely a leap into the unknown for me, since my composing practice definitely has its grounding in traditional techniques for acoustic instruments. Learning how to slowly turn the knob of an oscillator to find those hidden sweet spots has really started to open up how I approach my own compositions.

[@jonatantorres1451]

I'm 31 years old and I'm passionate about electronic music and sounds. I'm following my passion and I started to learn one year ago music production, sound design, music theory, trying to get to that point and feel "oh this is my thing" as you said! Thanks for the video and cheering up!! because I do feel before watching the video that this is the way, keeping exploring and trying things, listening to this little voice that says go for it. Even if others don't understand it or if I feel lost now, this passion and deep connection with sounds, it's what makes me feel in love with life and vibing❤

[@blb2388]

I am a retired therapist that grew up with music. My instrument has always been my voice. But when I heard your samples of trumpet combined with analogue syntheses, I became very curious. I know you have said in previous videos to begin with the end in view (to quote Steven Covey), but I’m not sure what the end is, except learning synthesis, and combining it with my voice. In any case, you have inspired me to pursue this more, even though my funds are limited. Thank-you!

[@TijsHam]

There are several points in your story that sketch out what is so fundamentally wrong in music education. The combination of being a graduate level musician and never having been in contact with contemporary music at all should not ever exist. It is the sign of the deeply rooted suppression of knowledge, curiosity and playfulness that is rampant in music education.

[@aspasap]

Yes. Traditional music education has been remarkably successful in discouraging people from making music.

[@jt_via]

Thank you so much for sharing your creative journey.

[@pablowentscobar]

Well, I'm sure glad you followed your nudges that brought you where you are today, because I really enjoy your music. You've been an inspiration to me getting into synthesizers. I would just add, make sure you're having fun and enjoy it.

[@sarahbellereid]

Thank you!! and yes -- having FUN is what it's all about!! Follow the nudges, and the joy :)

[@jamesbowsher-murray128]

Thanks for sharing your story. I’m sure it will help many.

[@georgelincoln5041]

Good story Sarah. The path to musical creative satisfaction (not necessarily synonymous with commercial success) can require navigating many crossroads and dead end alleys. Your trumpet experimentation reminds me a lot of Miles Davis when he shifted direction towards fusion and drew the ire and rejection pretty much of the whole jazz community . Yet his influence on music and many artists was phenomenal. Wishing you much success in your musical journey.

[@ZOgrameMusic]

I love your channel more with every video, thank you for sharing your experience with such honesty and benevolence ❤

[@0VRLNDR]

Thanks for sharing this amazing experience and the lessons learned. The positive impact will undoubtedly be enormous as your audience takes these ideas and begins sharing them with the other communities and networks they are a part of. Earmark this one for writing a book someday!

[@Starthief]

My crazy leap of this kind was joining a taiko beginner's class after watching a performance. I wasn't a drummer, I definitely wasn't a dancer... I was a synth noodler and a former violinist. It wasn't what I wound up sticking with but it was super inspiring and fun, and got me in front of audiences. It also led to kind of a creative reset a few years later that made a huge difference to me.

[@dessiplaer]

Thanks for sharing your experience. I wouldn't think that you'd be one that suffered from performance anxiety, as you seem to be so calm and collected. Good thing you took the chance and went for it. You went from a classical trumpet player to a "classy" trumpet player. 😊I always enjoy your videos, and I especially like your advice on not being afraid to make ugly sounds.

[@sarahbellereid]

You're welcome! Most folks are surprised when I tell them about my performance anxiety days, but they were verrrrrrrry real (and unfortunate, haha). I have had to do a lot of work over the years to be able to embrace my nerves focus it into sharing my music, but also - starting to play the right kind of music (for me!) was a huge part of that process!

[@cliffmoores8455]

Thank you for the perspective and insights, Sarah. This was a really good talk. I was a theory/comp major a long time ago, so I had some insights into "fringe" music while in college. That said, everything I knew about the avant-garde scene was from my own research, not anything I learned in school. Sure, the comp dept had biannual "recitals" of new compositions, but that was mostly students presenting and profs critiquing. We didn't learn much outside of a very rigid Austro-Germanic harmonic world view, largely based in the 18th and 19th centuries. Hearing about Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Brahms, etc. endlessly can get to be a bore after a while. I was hungry for more discussion and insights into something, anything different. Heck, I would have been delighted if we studied 'classical' music in the Iberian Peninsula, or Les Six. Anything outside of the German greats was generally not discussed or performed. Sure, there were exceptions, but they were certainly not the rule. Let's just say that I was more aligned with the Downtown school. Because I had so many aural interests outside of the music school (at the time, I was in love with bossa nova, straight ahead jazz, bluegrass, easy listening, Detroit and dub techno, punk, hip hop, John Cage, David Tudor, Messaien, Earle Brown, etc, etc), I just got to a point where finishing with a music degree was not where I wanted to be. For a comp major, there were only two inevitable ends: academia or writing commercial jingles until you get discovered for TV/movie soundtracks. Thank you, but no. Leaving the rigidity of the classical academic realm was the best thing for me to truly begin my journey in music. Don't get me wrong, I still love Bach, and Aldwell and Schacter's Harmony and Voice Leading was incredibly eye-opening to understanding tonality. I just needed a lot of distance between that world and the much greater, ignored world of music. Freedom from the bonds of the Austro-Germanic brand of tonality opened my ears, as it were. I was able to fly away on electrical waves to a different bliss. Completely as an aside, I had a roomie for a few years that was an orchestral trumpet major/grad student. I learned a great deal about the joys and extreme pressures that trumpeters faced. Arguably the most present instrument in an orchestra, a great deal of stress can be found in the trumpeter's realm. I'm going to just take a guess, Sarah: you're a Mahler fan. I learned about Mahler from my roommate, and I am eternally grateful. Mahler was another that was mysteriously absent from the collegiate curriculum. I am still bitter about that. Cheers

[@mindrobotsvideo]

Thank you for sharing this! You took the leap and landed in a wonderful place and all of us, your students, are so much better off because you landed where you did! This is so inspiring as I come to one of those places in life where I have an opportunity to be brave and try leaping if I have the courage.

[@andrewdoucet3029]

thank you for this thoughtful video, Sarah! it is wonderful to hear your story!

[@georgecarr9577]

I've heard many parts of this story from you before but I never get tired of hearing or be reminded of it's message. I can't begin to list experiences, accomplishments and adventures that have happened to simply because I followed your simple advice of saying yes to something that makes me a bit uncomfortable because my head is saying, I'm not ready or I'm not at that level but my heart says yest try it, do it.

[@sarahbellereid]

I love to hear this!! Keep going :)

[@brianbrill]

This is a useful message for me right now, so thanks for sharing.

[@leochaves3]

Thank you Sarah

[@yoyoyo4972]

thanks for sharing! very beautiful words!! already learned a lot from you!!! “listen to that little voice”, “keep listing”

[@ScottLawrenceLawson]

Your enthusiasm, positive and authentic teaching has energized me to start making music again. Before taking your LSS class, I thought I was an eclectic listener, but wow! have I learned SO much about so many types of music, people who make it, and instruments (software and hardware) to play it! I have heard part of your journey before, but this video was an excellent detailed sharing of your moments of "yes"! Thank you for sharing yourself, Sarah, and encouraging others to do the same.

[@maryochsner]

You are such an inspirations 🙏🏼💕 love your story and thank you for sharing this with us! So powerful ✨

[@colmanjones]

Thank you for making this lovely inspirational video, I definitely got a lot out of it, coming at a time when I am re-dedicating myself to music, and am currently assembling the great home studio I have always wanted to have.. I have followed your great work for a while now, and wasn't expecting such an insightful contribution, and appreciate the work you put into it

[@sarahbellereid]

Thank you - so happy to hear you found this helpful! GREAT to hear you are re-dedicating yourself to music and putting together a home studio... sounds like there is a lot of exciting things ahead for you!! :)

[@PhilipSelway]

This resonated so much with me. Beautifully expressed Px

[@blindianajones]

I have struggled with comparison and not trying things because I dont know how they will turn out. Neither serves me well at all. Im getting better at focusing on now, which in music means to keep playing and like you said, follow the little nudges and voices to try. Im feeling like trying is living and the more I try, regardless of outcome, is the point and that trying brings me positive feelings. I would like things to come together in some sort of performance and I guess if I dont know yet then I need to keep collecting experiences that will somehow come together in an intuitive nudge and or present itself from some external person or event. Appreciate your story and thanks for sharing.

[@TilliKommunikation]

Thank you for this inspiring food for thought!

[@KenKthulhu]

I subscribed because of this video. Inspirational.

[@synthtronix]

Thank you for this video. This is exactly my experience. Practice, try and continue.

[@NohFyuchur]

I enjoyed this, and as always the bits of performances just take me back to when i first heard Jon Hassell ..he was taking trumpet to interesting places…and you are taking it to other dimensions..so i’m a fan of the just say yes idea…negating that inner critic with the light of an open door to possibilities…

[@quantum_ocean]

The nice thing about this kind of music is that if you make a mistake no one can notice.

[@maxernst37]

Thanks Sarah a very clever and honest message

[@BruceReinoso]

What a wonderful story Sarah. I’m so glad that you followed your nudges because they certainly sent you in the right direction in your life. I’m also really glad you followed your nudges because I have learned so much from you. You’re a superb musician and music educator.

[@sarahbellereid]

Thank you Bruce! Having you in this community is wonderful -- keep going, and I can't wait to hear everything the future holds for you!

[@corticallarvae]

Loved the video encouragement

[@corticallarvae]

You’re ambisonic work in the dome moved me into intermedia almost exclusively and head first ….. I bought a pacamara ristretto pro with kyma 7+++ ….. I found Plouge Bidule I decided to just go even harder or die trying literally. I was the philosophical Bataille freak using medical film making … you helped me, and got me to go further.

[@antfactor]

Thank you for the reminder… I’m not performed in almost 20 years, and I am way overdue.

[@simonyricools]

loved this

[@navicore]

terrific helpful story - thx for this video

[@Kveg-y6k]

That show in SLC was wild. Thank you for coming!

[@spdycar13]

Sounds a lot like me. Degree in French Horn performance with a piano minor from a prestigious music school, mostly because people expected it of me. I performed lots of experimental music while in college and hated it at the time. I graduated and went my own way with a career as a police officer and then an IT sys admin for many years. I’ve been successful in my chosen careers. Now I can retire early and want to pursue my music again, but more on the synth and electronic side of things. I have invested in some awesome gear and have the knowledge with the ability, but fear of failure is huge. I enjoy playing and composing music for myself but would love to share, collaborate and if lucky, make a few dollars in the process. I’m trying to go for it but it’s scary. Time will tell.

[@sytsew]

Not sure if this video was inspired by things discussed in your recent collab with Andrew Huang, but it sure elaborated helpfully! Happy holidays

[@robii120]

Love this, thankyou Sarah for the encouraging words and for sharing your experience! 🙏

[@sarahbellereid]

you're very welcome!

[@TechnoNates]

This was important for me. Thank you!

[@rob_wade]

Thanks for sharing your story!

[@compucorder64]

Great video thanks. It's easy to forget the bigger picture, intention & direction. We suffered a tragic family loss last month, and I've took some time off. And found myself thinking about aspects like these. Like how to pare things back to a miminum, to better focus on doing what I actually really want to be doing most. Btw, that mic sounds good for voiceover. I wonder what it is? Maybe an SM57 or SM58, with the foam shield, that makes it sound a bit more SM7b?

[@bahgo]

Life is short. Be brave and have fun :)

[@sarahbellereid]

YES! Go for it 😉

[@DoctorRevers]

Can totally relate. And I was in that same situation with someone who asked me the same thing. (In mtl funny enough) I said no though. Biggest roadblock can be ourselves sometimes. Live and learn. Happy holidays everyone.

[@sarahbellereid]

I have definitely said no too (and then wished I hadn't). Stay open to future nudges! Sometimes they come out of the blue :) Happy holidays to you too!

[@lilian896]

Thanks for video! Very encouraging☀

[@sarahbellereid]

glad you found this helpful!

[@Vorobeez]

Thank you

[@ChrstnSmrvllMsc]

This is quite well-timed, ma’am. Thank you. Wish me luck 🤪 lol/smh

[@smashedapples]

I've heard those voices! I said "no," though.

[@GillamtheGreatest]

I am really struggling to follow the "smaller" voice. i struggle with imposter syndrome really badly since i technically cant play any instruments with any real skill. i usually feel like im just collecting stuff and cosplaying poorly

[@GraemeWoller]

You're certainly not alone, bro. Imposter syndrome sucks the big one. It's really hard not to let it take over and convince you that saying "no" is the easier option. It probably IS the easier option and also NOT the easiest option at the same time. 😅 We're all just a filter for the things we've heard. We're not those things, and we never should be, but we ARE a filtering and summation of those things in the way our minds recombine those inputs into new artistic thoughts. The best bit is that you get to be YOU and whatever you make is the you that you get to be. You're not an imposter at being you, you CAN'T be, and the art you make is unique to your experiences, so make it. Make it. Make it. Make it. And make it some more. Before long you find out that your artistic voice is unique, you're great at it, and you never were an imposter no matter what that part of our brain tells us. And, this is what's great about technology, it helps us find our voice even though we may not have perfect instrumental skill. There are infinite options even without performance skills.

[@SandTypist]

I often say that I'm "bad at lots of stuff". You don't have to be "good" to make music! Whether it be punk, 80s pop bands, Patti Smith, or many others, plenty of people that we publicly respect were not skilled at their instruments. (And we don't need to be famous to make music.) But, especially with today's tools, all you really need is an idea, your own taste, and some elbow grease. Make what you can already make. Let that lead you to what you can't quite make yet. It's good enough! No one else can make exactly what you can--even in cosplay mode!

[@sytsew]

Imagine the amount of imposter syndrome an elaborately trained AI would (or should) have. Then think what you alone could come up with, what even would surprise yourself. Let all those fears stick to the loud voices, and turn away. (Give easy advice on youtube, I will. Have trouble follow the same path, I will, too...)

[@brunodelovegny]

You don't need a trumpet for this, you can use your

[@danspound]

I have seen several similar videos. And usually the authors come out only with motivation and goodwill. But, as it seems to me, a little threat is also necessary! For example: "do it now, otherwise your life will end today!!! 30 years will pass like a week! You will lose your health and partially your hearing... and you will collect a collection of diseases that will not allow you to start over!"😠

[@sarahbellereid]

Haha I get it - and I actually think it's a good exercise to think about what NOT going after your goals could mean for you in 5, 10, 15 years, etc. (But I personally think that kind of reflection / motivation is best if it comes from you rather than from someone else!) As I mentioned in this video, my first big leap happened right at the point where things were already very challenging for me and I was getting ready to give up entirely, so for me at the time, tapping into the positive possibility of what might result from taking action was much more motivating.

[@gladlawson61]

When I want to be creative I do LSD.

[@TeddyBaas]

I’ve been following your channel for a while and I really admired your creativity with modular synths and trumpet. I even signed up for your mailing list because I was genuinely interested in what you were offering. However, I have to be honest, those aggressive sales emails for the modular class were really off-putting. It felt less about sharing your passion and more like a hard sell, and it’s made it hard for me to connect with your content now without feeling like there’s a catch. I think you’ve got so much potential to inspire people, but maybe easing up on the sales tactics could help keep your audience engaged for the right reasons. Just some honest feedback from someone who initially loved your work.

[@sarahbellereid]

I'm sorry you feel this way. My intention is always to share what I love and what I'm passionate about, and to help people learn synthesis and be inspired to create more music. That said, I understand my style isn't for everyone - but I appreciate your feedback.