How To Forgive

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The School of Life

The School of Life

Күн бұрын

Social life couldn’t continue if we didn’t have some capacity for forgiveness. We need to flex our forgiveness muscles more regularly though - and the best way to do so is to remember how much we’ve needed others to forgive us in the past.
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FURTHER READING
“It can be so hard to forgive because - so often - we simply are in the right and the scale of the folly, thoughtlessness and meanness of others seems utterly beyond our own measure. But there are two inviolable ideas which should nevertheless, in the face of the grossest behaviour, be kept in mind to increase our chances of cutting others a little slack…”
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Produced in collaboration with:
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Пікірлер: 910
@angelyn5354
@angelyn5354 7 жыл бұрын
Forgiveness is not about them, forgiveness is for yourself. It is about letting go of anger and resentment that fester inside you.
@georgiadonaldson5021
@georgiadonaldson5021 5 жыл бұрын
ange lyn
@CJ-ji1pq
@CJ-ji1pq 3 жыл бұрын
The last sentence...........that's it
@MetalCooking666
@MetalCooking666 3 жыл бұрын
That’s not forgiveness, that’s letting go.
@Gregory-the-small
@Gregory-the-small 3 жыл бұрын
That’s not forgiveness that’s letting go. I don’t want that. I want to be at peace with the other person and i want them to know what they did is something we can put under a bridge and move on together. It’s for the the both of us not just me.
@noonebossesthegarnet2890
@noonebossesthegarnet2890 3 жыл бұрын
@@Gregory-the-small I disagree. Forgiveness is truly not about the person that hurt you. It’s about you and you only. Allowing someone back into your life is called regaining their trust, not forgiveness. You can forgive people and not have them in your life.
@cimy4330
@cimy4330 7 жыл бұрын
It's really hard to forgive when the person who did you wrong was the person you've trusted most of your life with.
@nicholasdwyer6539
@nicholasdwyer6539 4 жыл бұрын
I hear you, does that include self. A genuine question, I wish you well 🙏
@nomadic1816
@nomadic1816 4 жыл бұрын
Lemme guess your dad left you
@nicholasdwyer6539
@nicholasdwyer6539 4 жыл бұрын
Nomadicwhale374 wow
@janec.kowalczyk5824
@janec.kowalczyk5824 4 жыл бұрын
I know it is hard!! But, we should remember that if we want to be forgiven....that we must do it for another person who hurts us 🙏😊
@angeladailydiaries3730
@angeladailydiaries3730 4 жыл бұрын
Like ur mom n ur dad
@Masquerola
@Masquerola 7 жыл бұрын
"To forgive is to understand the origins of evil and cruelty."
@SeanTheDon17
@SeanTheDon17 7 жыл бұрын
Masquerola These origins exist in all of us... Similar to Augustines Belief of Original Sin.
@jonasfull
@jonasfull 7 жыл бұрын
Nah man the reason my friend isn't forgiving me is the fact he knows i was born autistic. He understands why i do it and he knows i'll do it again because of it.
@OrdnanceTV
@OrdnanceTV 7 жыл бұрын
Masquerola Beyond truth.
@mariosx12
@mariosx12 7 жыл бұрын
There are 7 billion people around us. Most people are leaving in cities with more than 100,000 population. Why someone should spend the time and effort to forgive someone and not just moving one with another. Making new relationships is much faster than rebuilding damage ones and also, to me, more exciting. It enhance the person's social capabilities, connections and interaction.
@holylightbulb
@holylightbulb 7 жыл бұрын
That's true, but forgiveness helps you learn and helps strengthen relationships deeper. I'd rather have one meaningful and deep relationship with someone (romantic or platonic) than 10 new relationships.
@Daph909
@Daph909 7 жыл бұрын
I usually have no problem forgiving someone who apologizes and personally I have no problem realizing my own mistakes and apologizing for them if they've hurt someone. It's the bastards who don't own up to their mistakes, that I can't forgive.
@natyspaghettighetti6726
@natyspaghettighetti6726 6 жыл бұрын
me, a thousand times me, people dont tend to understand this
@christinatorrez8232
@christinatorrez8232 4 жыл бұрын
Or the ones who give a sarcastic apology
@gillfrancis748
@gillfrancis748 4 жыл бұрын
I hear you, but then are you not held hostage by the behaviour of others?
@NotHumant8727
@NotHumant8727 4 жыл бұрын
Simple, don't resent in first place. Don't give privilege to anything to disturb your inner peace. Rise awareness of how short life is and how precious every moment is.
@undeadwerewolves9463
@undeadwerewolves9463 4 жыл бұрын
I completely agree
@cyprokka
@cyprokka 7 жыл бұрын
Forgiveness is an act of compassion. It's not done because the person deserves it, it's done because they need it.
@Mittser
@Mittser 4 ай бұрын
Dude this is beautiful
@tylerrenthewise7390
@tylerrenthewise7390 3 жыл бұрын
Forgiveness makes you so much stronger and brave than those who hurt you and those who give in to hate and vengeance.
@fistoffries
@fistoffries 7 жыл бұрын
I wish they discussed more of what forgiveness actually is. Part of the reason find it so difficult is because forgiveness is a concept that is never really defined so a lot of people think that it is a turning a blind eye to a person's behaviors/habits and shrugging, "Nobodies perfect". The fact of it is, if a person is toxic to you, you can keep them out of your life and still forgive them.
@UmbrellaGent
@UmbrellaGent 5 жыл бұрын
The problem is that a person might be toxic to your for the exact reason that you try to keep them out of your life. And then it just becomes a vicious circle. Sometimes you need to confront the fear of being hurt in order to save both of you. Of course the devil lies in the details. So it might be different in every situation. But it happens very often that way I just detailed.
@lilitdesign
@lilitdesign Жыл бұрын
Agree. Could have been a much longer episode. And perhaps some things can not be forgiven and that is also OK
@chrystals.4376
@chrystals.4376 8 ай бұрын
I can keep people out of my life and NOT forgive them, many do in fact.
@lucasdarianschwendlervieir3714
@lucasdarianschwendlervieir3714 5 ай бұрын
Let's say there is a situation in which that person needs you. Helping them out despite what they've done to you is a sign of forgiveness. That doesn't mean condening their past actions, it means not punishing them in the present for their past mistakes.
@astrellax11
@astrellax11 6 жыл бұрын
I'm working on forgiving A LOT of people. My parents in particular. I suppressed practically everything, but it still hurts to think about. It's time to move on.
@OP-xi1hv
@OP-xi1hv 4 жыл бұрын
Forgive them and move on.
@davecao908
@davecao908 4 жыл бұрын
I'm in the same process. Good luck.
@SamuraiiJakk
@SamuraiiJakk 3 жыл бұрын
Same here
@gospelofthekingdom2379
@gospelofthekingdom2379 2 жыл бұрын
kzbin.info/www/bejne/jnu9cqZnn8lnnrc
@oOTrayOo
@oOTrayOo 2 жыл бұрын
But how?
@Usemoderation
@Usemoderation Жыл бұрын
To forgive is to understand the origins of evil and cruelty. And someday, we will need to be forgiven.
@danillo.eu.rodrigues
@danillo.eu.rodrigues 7 жыл бұрын
please school of life, could you guys do a video about how to forgive yourself? i think that forgiving a mistake or someone is not that hard, but forgive myself for any sort of error, forgiving me for making horrible choices, for my lack of experience with people... and mostly to stop torturing myself
@bolivar1789
@bolivar1789 7 жыл бұрын
Hello Danillo. You can be sure that we all share those problems. These two videos from this channel may help too: 1. Self Compassion 2. Overcoming Bad Inner Voices I wish you all the best:-)
@danillo.eu.rodrigues
@danillo.eu.rodrigues 7 жыл бұрын
im crying, i thought nobody would actually read or reply to me, thank you so much!
@bolivar1789
@bolivar1789 7 жыл бұрын
You are very welcome:-) Under the " Overcoming Bad Inner Voices" video, I wrote a comment with a list of things that helped me. If you wish you can take a look at it. You may also like " The Book of Life" website. That's the brain of this channel. There they have an excellent article called " On Stress and Inner Voices". You can also subscribe to that website. They always have very helpful ideas! Have a nice evening:-)
@alicedelarge
@alicedelarge 7 жыл бұрын
Treat yourself the same way you would treat a friend. If a friend came to you with their troubles or problems, you would probably be kind to them, right? Treat yourself the same way. You deserve to be forgiven like anybody else.
@alicedelarge
@alicedelarge 7 жыл бұрын
All the more reason to treat yourself like one.
@feytruet4356
@feytruet4356 7 жыл бұрын
I used to think forgiving was allowing someone to trample over you. People want to be forgiven for their most heinous crimes even if their not aware of it, but for some ppl it's just expected, and I didn't like it. However. By not forgiving you trample over yourself and add to your own burdens. After a while, it gets heavy.
@hauntedwafflecake
@hauntedwafflecake 7 жыл бұрын
Not forgiving and continuing to hold a grudge is to allow the other person's actions to continue to affect you... it's to give those actions much more power over you. To forgive is to let go.
@JuliaClark
@JuliaClark 7 жыл бұрын
This video is very lop sided. one does not need to be angry to hold another accountable ie hold a grudge. There are pitfalls of bodies in Central and South America. To not vow enmity toward any one of the individuals that created the death pits is an act of immorality.
@kathrynmcmorrow7170
@kathrynmcmorrow7170 7 жыл бұрын
You are right. Heinous actions... if brought to justice... may even be forgiven. "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
@KILITZI
@KILITZI 7 жыл бұрын
I was tossing, and turning last night, because of this. I can't bring myself to forgiving a family member...omg I woke up like 4 times, and couldn't sleep. Thank you, I know I have to deal with this. Perfect timing
@PersonalPower
@PersonalPower 7 жыл бұрын
*Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.* *-Buddha* *Sometimes it seems hard to forgive, but we have to forgive to move on!* *personal development videos sub goal 248/250*
@jaydenmann447
@jaydenmann447 6 жыл бұрын
Why forgive when you won’t get rewarded in the afterlife that doesn’t exist.
@DragonNestMP
@DragonNestMP 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for the quote. You inspire me
@Hellohello-vp5jk
@Hellohello-vp5jk 4 жыл бұрын
Snookpike for your own well-being!
@bluesrike
@bluesrike 3 жыл бұрын
Forgive and move on? Sure! Let's acquit the Nazis while we're at it too!
@IrenicCryogenic
@IrenicCryogenic 7 жыл бұрын
But at what point do we separate a person's upbringing to be the cause of calamity and the person's own personal agendas? Where does responsibility for their own actions begin
@ankurkapoor3716
@ankurkapoor3716 6 жыл бұрын
Irenic Cryogenic exactly my point. Just because somebody's has had a certain background, you should forgive? That's convenient.
@dianab6096
@dianab6096 6 жыл бұрын
I think what they’re trying to say is that the reason doesn’t matter, make one up; forgiving is for you and not them.
@CassandraAveolii
@CassandraAveolii 6 жыл бұрын
forgiving may not always be moving on. sometimes to move on you need to say and do things for the effect of it, to express yourself, to explain to the other, to teach a lesson etc. the hard part is to do this outwardly while keeping the love and forgiveness intact on the inside. this method too is not without its dangers. others judge through what is apparent, the behavior, to make your intent apparent one also needs to be in touch with one's motives. so hard. all this work. it's always a process and most times we react as usual because the situation doesnt have the space or time for you to reflect. tied in a knot...
@ianmanzy
@ianmanzy 2 жыл бұрын
The responsibility for their own actions was always theirs...
@lovemecom3832
@lovemecom3832 6 жыл бұрын
We may find it hard to forgive but to be able to forgive someone is the nicest feeling we could ever feel in our life. It makes us feel peaceful and harmonious. This video helps in showing us how to forgive people who caused us too much pain.
@roskichan3001
@roskichan3001 5 жыл бұрын
Not it doesn't
@Lifestarterpack
@Lifestarterpack 7 жыл бұрын
Every School of Life video is like a mini-therapy session
@GreatJobTy
@GreatJobTy 7 жыл бұрын
Well hey there! IF YOU want to be a better person,if you're looking for confidence, advantage, social skills, whatever it is you want to improve on, I make videos on it. *Come to my channel.*
@krino5093
@krino5093 7 жыл бұрын
Life Starter Pack bollox
@stewartbon1803
@stewartbon1803 7 жыл бұрын
Life Starter Pack dude your channel is great!
@PasscodeAdvance
@PasscodeAdvance 6 жыл бұрын
@@GreatJobTy and dab
@undeadwerewolves9463
@undeadwerewolves9463 4 жыл бұрын
A much needed one...
@blurryface9202
@blurryface9202 7 жыл бұрын
it is ok to forgive but not to forget because those are lifes lessons
@lucasdarianschwendlervieir3714
@lucasdarianschwendlervieir3714 5 ай бұрын
That's fine, also because you have no control over forgetfulness. that's your memory and you remember the important thongs. Forgiveness is an attitude you have towards someone in you future encounters.
@drumrit
@drumrit 7 жыл бұрын
I love your videos. They're like a warm hug.
@eteafn
@eteafn 7 жыл бұрын
Amrit Mehta I grately agree
@frogholdingmachinegun377
@frogholdingmachinegun377 7 жыл бұрын
Amrit Mehta that sounds about right.
@drumrit
@drumrit 7 жыл бұрын
:D
@drumrit
@drumrit 7 жыл бұрын
Tan Jin Yi hahaha agreed. Hence the need for school of life videos :D
@zacharydemko1835
@zacharydemko1835 7 жыл бұрын
+
@kayleighc3159
@kayleighc3159 7 жыл бұрын
this is so useful. ive been practicing, when annoyed at flaws in others, acknowledging the seeds of them in myself
@TheCharismaAcademy
@TheCharismaAcademy 7 жыл бұрын
Except with stealing a Mario kart victory on the final lap. There is no forgiveness.
@TheCharismaAcademy
@TheCharismaAcademy 7 жыл бұрын
But actually a great video!
@brianhouchen2459
@brianhouchen2459 7 жыл бұрын
The evils committed in Mario Kart, Mario Party and Monopoly can never be forgiven. :P
@LoveAndSnapple
@LoveAndSnapple 7 жыл бұрын
As with Uno.
@Sam-Pound
@Sam-Pound 5 ай бұрын
Well said.
@clinicalminatology783
@clinicalminatology783 7 жыл бұрын
the lessons of school of Life should be adopted in the curriculum of our school education . who agrees?
@CrisURace
@CrisURace 7 жыл бұрын
Sweet video. Remember this..let go of ego...don't have expectations. Live within yourself. Don't let yourself affected in a bad way by something outside of you..
@laughalot6147
@laughalot6147 6 жыл бұрын
Always forgive, but never forget. Learn from your mistakes and never forget.
@kjoslatrar677
@kjoslatrar677 7 жыл бұрын
I just felt like watching this video because of the voice. It makes my life feels whole for a minute or two, without the need of stressing things out of or into my world. Everything is at its place and I neither can change anything nor shall I.
@NelsonBlakeII
@NelsonBlakeII 7 жыл бұрын
The best way to learn to forgive is to relinquish the burden of judging humanity for its flaws. You work with and through flaws to improve, but you don't have to apply a value to them. No one is perfect and a human experience is a learning experience which requires failure. Human failure is the process.
@CassandraAveolii
@CassandraAveolii 6 жыл бұрын
but so many of us become so resistant to change and learning, to improving and growing. we hide in privilege, cozy in our uncomfortable comfort zones because we are habitual and tolerant to it. forgiveness is one part of the communication we have with others when there is a clash and it should not be applied like a universal virtue. it is the unforgiveness, the anger, the rage that fuels revolutions apart from the love of something. i have to say that justice can exist beside forgiveness but it's a hard place to reach.
@roskichan3001
@roskichan3001 5 жыл бұрын
@@CassandraAveolii 👏 well fucking said!
@Michael-fi5rd
@Michael-fi5rd 7 жыл бұрын
this is a lesson I've learned as I get older. Everyone is a product of their environment. Therefore being a mature person means acknowledging that and working to understand why people have come to be the way they are, and forgiving them for it.
@mjg6377
@mjg6377 7 жыл бұрын
This is helpful in a sitation when the other person has, on their own accord, acknowledged that that have disappointed you in some way and they regret it. It seems more pervasive now in our society that the general stance is "I don't have to apologize for anything, especially to you, etc....". It made for good drama on reality TV but not so much in real life. I think we have all heard the apology "I'm sorry you feel that way" where the inflicter is unable to understand that they have wronged you. When do we call someone out and when do we let it go? We've all probably experienced covert narcissism where the perpetrator believes since it wasn't their intention to hurt you, they are not accountable for hurting you. What is the best way to handle that situation. And can it be the overly-critical person that may be demanding too many apologies when they should be more accepting of peoples shortcomings or are they not shortcomings at all, hence the exhaustive criticism. So many questions. Thank you for attempting to shed rational, humanistic, peaceful light on them School of Lifers. It's very helpful.
@dhbedard420
@dhbedard420 7 жыл бұрын
I did this for someone for 5 years. seeing both, their up bringing and my own imperfections, forgiving over and over. He just took advantage of it...
@LPMatthi
@LPMatthi 7 жыл бұрын
lol i never got an apology
@ApPersonaNonGrata
@ApPersonaNonGrata 7 жыл бұрын
me neither. but it's strangely comforting (because it allows me to forgive them) to realize that the same ways they were so broken that they acted that way in the first place are the ways in which they are so broken, they can't apologize either. That's a LOT of brokenness. I feel badly for their inability to grow 'even just that much'. And it reminds me of how blessed (or fortunate) I am as someone who isn't quite that broken.
@gentlekef8653
@gentlekef8653 7 жыл бұрын
James Apperson I'm sorry to hear that :-)
@saniahalim
@saniahalim 7 жыл бұрын
catfish69 you don't need an apology to forgive someone. ☺️ You don't even have to tell them that you forgave them. You just have to accept it in your heart and let go of it.
@TheJennaocho
@TheJennaocho 7 жыл бұрын
sometimes you don't get one , you just forgive them and move on
@fawad9407
@fawad9407 7 жыл бұрын
Jenny Ochoa When you do that, who are you forgiving for then? For yourself? Or for the other person?
@TheAscendedArchmage
@TheAscendedArchmage 3 жыл бұрын
Today I tried to speak about forgiveness to someone who wasn’t ready to talk about it. What a terrible mistake, all I got was insult and resentment... Lesson learned.
@noonebossesthegarnet2890
@noonebossesthegarnet2890 3 жыл бұрын
Dude same. They told me I was victim blaming?
@itsjay_a1
@itsjay_a1 7 жыл бұрын
Forgiveness is valuable when it is given, even if the person didn't apologize. it sets you free from negativity such as bitterness. it allows room for positive changes in your life.
@raapyna8544
@raapyna8544 7 жыл бұрын
I had no idea how much I needed this... Not to forgive others, but to forgive myself. When he listed all those bad things about me, I felt liberated, felt that I was allowed to be this way. And it has been the world over my shoulders for maybe years now. I've always found some error or weakness to feel very quilty about. Especially everything that has to do with children, because I know how easily they take things to heart and get traumatized. And I've done those mistakes because of my own traumas and insecurities, maybe passing on traumas to others. But I know that's how it generally goes. It's the standard to do wrong when you have been done wrong, without even thinking about it. To break out of that cycle, is being a hero. It's not a requirement; you lived regardless of your traumas, others will probably too. It's not that you shouldn't care or be sorry for the things that you've done wrong, but you don't have to mourn in it forever. Things used to be so black and white, and they haven't changed, but with more understanding, comes more pain, and you have to learn to cope with painful things and go on with your life. You have to accept that, even if you repeat all the mistakes that you hated when the adults from your youth did them, you are still good enough. But you can aim to do better.
@felixyu5487
@felixyu5487 7 жыл бұрын
Its easier for me to forgive others, but the harder thing is to forgive myself for all the lies and harm I have done to myself and people I love. Sometimes I feel trapped, and my self-hate prevents me from doing anything.
@GmoneyDaGamer24
@GmoneyDaGamer24 Жыл бұрын
Real
@Bethelehem2458
@Bethelehem2458 3 жыл бұрын
Looking at the self and how each and every one of us have hurt someone at some point in our lives (no matter how "subtle" or slight it was) really helps with the forgiveness process. A great point to bring up! All of us are not perfect and so we should not expect perfection from others. We should, instead, let the hurts that we experience help us reflect back at ourselves/our own behavior to improve and aim to never be the same way onto others.
@AlexVoxel
@AlexVoxel 7 жыл бұрын
The hardest thing is to forgive someone completely, you can understand that person and still not completely forgive it
@chelseyl880
@chelseyl880 2 жыл бұрын
Amen. This is grace & logic wrapped up together so quickly. I love it. Thanks 🙏
@tonyt71
@tonyt71 7 жыл бұрын
Holding a grudge against someone is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.
@NancySolariLivingFullOut
@NancySolariLivingFullOut 6 жыл бұрын
Holding onto anger is like having a weight chained to your ankle that holds you down. In order to grow in life and soar, we must forgive others, not for the sake of them, but for the sake of us. Wonderful video! Thanks for sharing and helping people to live full out!
@katharinak.1630
@katharinak.1630 7 жыл бұрын
These kind of videos make me a better person
@GimmieUtoob
@GimmieUtoob 7 жыл бұрын
Forgiveness for a person must be genuinely felt, otherwise you don't actually forgive them.
@lollmao249
@lollmao249 3 жыл бұрын
So true , i tried to forgive my ex but i am just incapable of feeling that i did. So i am accepting now that i will Always hate him and wish him the worse.
@bluestivy9975
@bluestivy9975 7 жыл бұрын
this video is so soothing
@zahlenpunkten586
@zahlenpunkten586 7 жыл бұрын
his voice is shooting :)
@amirelam9594
@amirelam9594 7 жыл бұрын
Zahlen Punkten shooting who?
@raeesali9780
@raeesali9780 7 жыл бұрын
Zahlen Punkten yes I love "shooting" voices
@amirelam9594
@amirelam9594 7 жыл бұрын
Raees Ali same
@zahlenpunkten586
@zahlenpunkten586 7 жыл бұрын
@Amir Elam eheheh LOL my grammar is on the point :P
@mephistophelesthesilentchi3446
@mephistophelesthesilentchi3446 7 жыл бұрын
Well said, SoL. Forgiveness and apology are a show of understanding, not weakness.
@ll7868
@ll7868 7 жыл бұрын
I've been angry my whole life and I blamed everyone else, from my mother abandoning me, my divorce, my father's suicide, backstabbed by friends and the list goes on and on...then I found humility and realized they weren't the problem, I was. I'm the worthless shite who didn't deserve parents, a family of my own, to be included into a circle of friends or have happiness of any kind. Once I accepted that I was the one who didn't belong I accepted myself, failures, flaws etc. and I was able to forgive everyone, even myself since I refuse to give in to any suicidal thoughts. I also have voices in my head (psychosis), they treat me like crap and tell horrible lies but at least they keep me company so I can forgive them. Problem is, nobody ever forgives me, even for things I didn't do. I try to be nice, friendly and positive but people just say I'm creepy and make them uncomfortable. That's all I have to say about that.
@coralbricks
@coralbricks 7 жыл бұрын
Not your fault. dont blame yourself like that. The events you cited can be really traumatic and harmful.
@bels9773
@bels9773 7 жыл бұрын
I hope nothing but the best for you and a very happy future! Never give up on yourself. Let time do its thing
@ll7868
@ll7868 7 жыл бұрын
I've always been a weird person, even as a child I've never been able to connect or interact with other humans unless they were social outcasts and weird themselves. There's a disconnection with reality, like I'm a ghost, as if the universe is telling me I shouldn't exist, then I realize it's just my voices fuckin' with me again. At least I have a sense of humour.
@bolivar1789
@bolivar1789 7 жыл бұрын
+HUMAN FELLA Hello there. I am so sorry to hear all that... But you can be sure that it isn' your fault. Nobody who had been abandoned by a mother can end up being normal. We are all disturbed in one way or another. I am so sorry about the voices in your head. There is a TED Talk called " The voices inside my head" by Eleanor Longden. I am sure it would help. There is also a website from the " International Hearing Voices Network". They have a forum and they help each other a lot. Don't isolate yourself and look for help. You aren't responsible for anything that had been done to you. I wish you so well.
@TheHelenhunter
@TheHelenhunter Жыл бұрын
The voices in your head head are demons. They found open doors to come in through all the abuse, hurt and suffering. You have to command them to go and cast them out in Jesus name, that's the only solution. Give your life to Jesus, start searching, watching videos about salvation and deliverance, ask him to reveal himself to you. You will be perfectly new and healed in Jesus name.
@indrasenbhattacharya24
@indrasenbhattacharya24 11 ай бұрын
So true! These insightful videos really help me contextualize things. Thanks for sharing.
@shirleyzhang8430
@shirleyzhang8430 7 жыл бұрын
I'm watching this video to learn to forgive myself.
@nickpshelley6115
@nickpshelley6115 3 жыл бұрын
Very good counsel. Forgiveness gets easier and easier with practice but few people do it.
@Zyurg
@Zyurg 7 жыл бұрын
"We need to forgive because not right now not over this, but one day over something we might need to be forgiven."
@Karenqay
@Karenqay 7 жыл бұрын
Y'all, these videos are hella stressful but am so hooked. They really look at human emotions rationally. Always end up weighing the newly learnt knowledge against the one I've always known. Doesn't always go so well
@fastbreakbank
@fastbreakbank 4 жыл бұрын
“Right now, you shouldn’t seek forgiveness - seek help, get it, turn into a better person - people will learn to forgive over time. Once you do something, you can never immediately ask for someone’s forgiveness. You have to prove to them that you deserve it. And this is your redemption now, you’ve got to work yourself out.” -Some guy
@yvetteihemesinwa2981
@yvetteihemesinwa2981 Жыл бұрын
It's very hard for me to do this, but you are helping me through this video.
@iconjourney4695
@iconjourney4695 4 жыл бұрын
Being able to understand why someone has committed wrong to you and understanding what made him that way, doesn't take away the pain that you suffered for many years, the wasted opportunities, lost relationships, and the damages it has caused.
@LuvandGlamour
@LuvandGlamour 7 жыл бұрын
I needed this. Thank you so much for uploading this!
@findingjoyinpurpose3896
@findingjoyinpurpose3896 5 жыл бұрын
Within forgiveness lies freedom.
@kshitij8845
@kshitij8845 7 жыл бұрын
how do you know when to upload/release the appropriate video at the exact right time. much needed. thank you!!!
@homelessalcoholic2716
@homelessalcoholic2716 3 жыл бұрын
I find myself enveloped completely by rage and hatred for someone close to me, and I am on the brink of losing it
@JavierCR25
@JavierCR25 7 жыл бұрын
While I completely agree with this, the most important part of forgiving someone is being sure that other person is truly sorry and has really grasped the magnitude of the damage done. There's no point on forgiving someone if that person just keeps doing the same crap over and over again.
@smoozerish
@smoozerish 3 жыл бұрын
This is about the best thing on youtube about forgiveness. I been trying to figure out a way to forgive my parents for the shitty abusive upbringing they gave me, but have found it so hard to do. Especially because it left me deeply scarred and suffering from various forms of mental illness. But I realise I can't keep shouldering this heavy weight of anger and hate I carry around with me. It's poisoning my life. I will try now to drop this now and forgive.
@christmastree6817
@christmastree6817 3 жыл бұрын
Dont force yourself to if it won't bring you peace
@computerguy233
@computerguy233 7 жыл бұрын
I only watch these videos for the animation, It is too good.
@annettehansen6047
@annettehansen6047 2 ай бұрын
Forgiveness and resentments have always been a huge problem for me. I had so much anger and I'll will in my heart that it practically ruined my life. I went to treatment for an addiction problem and got in recovery and sober and saw a therapist and did the twelve steps. My therapist told me that resentments only hurt you not the other person. In the 12 steps it's all about letting go of character defects and bad behaviors and becoming a better person helping others. You have to write down and discuss with someone all your resentments and also your part in them if there is. Then you change what you need to and if necessary make amends. It's human for some people to retaliate or get revenge because you feel like it's justice but really it's just stooping to their level. Best thing to do is heal, protect yourself, and let karma do it's work. They'll get the wrath of other people or God. It's also good to try to understand why people are the way they are and do what they do (not condoning or justifying). It helps to have compassion then pray for them. If they change their ways that's great. That's what helps me let go of resentments and forgive others.
@Chromebiscuit
@Chromebiscuit 7 жыл бұрын
Jesus I needed to hear this more than anything and I didn't even realise until after I watched it.
@abhishah7139
@abhishah7139 7 жыл бұрын
How in this universe is it possible that SoL always upload a very relevant topic currently striking my life! A 3 year old friend of mine left me for a lover of few months. I am okay with that just if she talks about it to me one last time so I can understand her position as well. But she won't and caz of that I am very hurt. I know that it is not her but her boyfriend who is playing everything. I was trying all the cards but still I was infuriated. But your soothing voice always calms me. I still don't know how can I heal my pain, but it sure helped. Thank you for life - +The School of Life :)
@kevinmorleyministries6019
@kevinmorleyministries6019 7 жыл бұрын
"Don't try to take the speck out of your neighbours eye when you still have a plank in your own eye." - Jesus of Nazareth
@OP-xi1hv
@OP-xi1hv 4 жыл бұрын
What if you have a plank in your pants?
@burhansakarwala3145
@burhansakarwala3145 4 жыл бұрын
I honestly don't think forgiveness is possible as long as the memories are still intact
@zeholandajunior
@zeholandajunior 7 жыл бұрын
Thanks for Portuguese subtitles.
@loulou2302
@loulou2302 7 жыл бұрын
Forgive but never forget.
@xdae
@xdae 7 жыл бұрын
What if you forgave a person multiple times yet they kept hurting you? One can only forgive so much before they close themselves off from another. Constant forgiveness can often become a recipe for unfair relationships.
@Bassalicious
@Bassalicious 7 жыл бұрын
Natasha Cook Not so easy if it's family.
@TechReviewTom
@TechReviewTom 7 жыл бұрын
RiceJars forgiveness doesn't mean continuing the relationship.
@Achilles94627
@Achilles94627 4 жыл бұрын
Forgiveness is an entirely internal process. You don't even need to tell the offending party that you have "forgiven" them if you don't want to. To forgive someone is to relieve yourself of the burden of carrying all these thoughts of anger, bitterness and resentment. That's a pretty heavy burden to carry. Once those feelings dissipate, and you realise that you no longer harbour any ill-feeling towards the other person, then you know that you have forgiven me.
@MetalCooking666
@MetalCooking666 3 жыл бұрын
@@TechReviewTom why wouldn’t you continue the relationship if you had truly forgiven them?
@frankjoseph6071
@frankjoseph6071 3 жыл бұрын
@@Achilles94627 truth. i realized this. i forgave my mother this year. i have said it several times before but didn't really mean it. but now the time that i really do forgive her, i try not to announce it. but show it. actions speak louder than words
@sariuca
@sariuca 7 жыл бұрын
I thank so much for your videos...they have helped me so much to go through hard times
@TwoPunchMan492
@TwoPunchMan492 7 жыл бұрын
So how do i forgive someone who is a pathological liar ?
@RussHour777
@RussHour777 7 жыл бұрын
good question. forgive that person, but never trust that person
7 жыл бұрын
You can't! Cause Trump never apologizes.
@TwoPunchMan492
@TwoPunchMan492 7 жыл бұрын
Ramsés Amadeus lol
@waynemcdaniel3592
@waynemcdaniel3592 7 жыл бұрын
This video begins with the assumption that everyone is to be forgiven - regardless if they are contrite or not. I disagree with that assumption because of Isaiah 57:15 and Psalm 51:17. See also Luke 17: 3-4.
@AlanmanAaron
@AlanmanAaron 7 жыл бұрын
unless i'm missing something, the only verse that really relates there is the one from Luke which says “If your brother or sister[a] sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. 4 Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.” This doesn't mean that you should still trust them like if the sin is a lie, it just means that you should forgive them for it.
@TheSidewaystm
@TheSidewaystm 7 жыл бұрын
"There are difficult things about you too." That's deep🤔
@thynguyen911
@thynguyen911 7 жыл бұрын
YOU, yes you! Stop scrolling down to read comments and actually watch the video till the end ;)
@marcellaclb
@marcellaclb Жыл бұрын
Forgiveness is an endless subject.
@ausarthevile8755
@ausarthevile8755 7 жыл бұрын
Should do a video about sadists as well as other mental illnesses
@jjc5475
@jjc5475 7 жыл бұрын
Jay Edwards why not on phedophiles, they're people too. If they could just talk about their problem they could get help instead of a white van...
@ausarthevile8755
@ausarthevile8755 7 жыл бұрын
Jay Edwards I don't understand your lol you shouldn't laugh at those with a mental illness second being gay isn't a mental illness and I was suggesting stuff more like sadists and psychopaths because I myself am a sadist
@jayobey1061
@jayobey1061 7 жыл бұрын
There is reason behind every event. You are just saying but there is no need to point out. Let Alain do the work, you in my opinion or me is not capable yet.
@brunascauri
@brunascauri 7 жыл бұрын
Ruben Marques you're not hurting anyone being gay (even with their consent). You're constantly being frowned upon because of who you love. Loving someone regardless of their sexual orientation is not an illness.
@brunascauri
@brunascauri 7 жыл бұрын
Ruben Marques it's not who they are in this case, it's what they like.
@donhouston916
@donhouston916 7 жыл бұрын
Every day, I think of how people have trampled upon me while I was a child and most of my teenage years. I was made fun of, insulted, abused and hated by people who pretended to love me. I have forgiven them but it still pains me because I kept shut about it, I let it sink into me without even saying anything. Now am 19 and I realize my mistake, I should not have been scared to speak out when I was hurting. Maybe that's what gave me anxiety and depression and made me a stutterer, am not sure but I've learned from my mistakes through the hard way and I will one day be the person I am meant to be. if anyone can reply to me, that will be great
@sunshine9122
@sunshine9122 Жыл бұрын
Hi Don. I just read your reply after watching this video . I am sorry about all you've been through in your young life. Please know that I care. It's been 5 years since you posted your comment. I'm wondering how you're doing and I really, truly hope you reply. Hugs.❤
@Curtisthecrumble
@Curtisthecrumble 7 жыл бұрын
I absolutely love the channel but can we stop assuming that everyone is evil because of a need that wasn’t met.
@phantomkate6
@phantomkate6 7 жыл бұрын
Curtis McAllister - Just what I was thinking! I really like Jordan B. Peterson's talks on evil & I recommend if you haven't seen them.
@mindfulnessasia1082
@mindfulnessasia1082 Жыл бұрын
Both this world and the next belong to the forgiving person. Therefore, forgiveness is considered the highest virtue.
@GambitsEnd
@GambitsEnd 7 жыл бұрын
The message here seems to be "Don't blame people for their actions, it's not their fault, they're not responsible for what they do, so forgive them!" Bit of a ridiculous statement.
@Ggdivhjkjl
@Ggdivhjkjl 7 жыл бұрын
Forgiveness Sunday is such a beautiful annual event.
@Grachtnakk
@Grachtnakk 7 жыл бұрын
I learned to forgive by reading up on quotes by the Dalai Lama. He's full of love and I praise him because of it.
@tylerwillems9358
@tylerwillems9358 7 жыл бұрын
This was relevant to me, because there are a couple of people very close to me i cannot forgive right now. I did get some insight, thinking about the flawed path in which we've all travelled, but i still feel so hurt and torn from these people. How can i forgive, and should i even forgive, if the ones who've done the damage have not come to terms with what's been done? One blames me, irrationally it seems, and that idea is reinforced by my significant other's point of view. The other won't admit to me that they've done any wrong, and it is infuriating when they try to brush the hurtful things they have done to me under the rug. I try not to be so cold, and generally i apologize just to ease tensions, but this is the first time I've taken a stand against it. I am not looking for an answer, but writing this piece helps the thoughts flow within myself. Thanks for the videos btw, always a breath of fresh air, and helpful for understanding myself!
@kushantaiidan
@kushantaiidan 7 жыл бұрын
Yeah, I do not forgive the evil people that hurt me. What they did was pure evil, and they knew exactly what they were doing. This video did not help me at all. I wish it did. But I have a list of names, and i'll look them in the eyes as their life drains away. Revenge is not sweet, it is bitter, and will leave me dead inside, and will hurt the ones I love the most. But there is true evil in the world, and only we who have had true evil afflicted upon us know what true evil is. We are the still barely living but dead inside. And as certain as death is, so is justice. A debt is owed.
@kip3762
@kip3762 5 жыл бұрын
preach the truth.
@Achilles94627
@Achilles94627 4 жыл бұрын
Perhaps you could be more specific as to what this evil was that was inflicted on you?
@Achilles94627
@Achilles94627 4 жыл бұрын
@Ryan McDaniels Well it might help in understanding why this person feels this way and what can be done about it.
@Ndo01
@Ndo01 7 жыл бұрын
School of life video topics seemingly come out at the perfect time when I need them.
@TheLyricalWrdsmth
@TheLyricalWrdsmth 7 жыл бұрын
I wish one of those locations were in Texas.
@TheShuffleIt
@TheShuffleIt 7 жыл бұрын
It is just not about spreading positivity we need. We need to spread intelligence, honesty, and facts. Yes this will lead to utopian community ideally but right now this is what we need to solve our current ongoing problems in the world. School of life is already two steps above us. Learn to sense Alains objective.
@vladpetrea931
@vladpetrea931 7 жыл бұрын
what about:i forgive but don't forget,make any sense? i learned by my self to ice-skatting,i forgive the ice because i broke my ass so many times,but i don't forget it.
@ankurkapoor3716
@ankurkapoor3716 6 жыл бұрын
This. ^ what about this?
@user-kys673
@user-kys673 7 жыл бұрын
The most important channel on KZbin
@null-wj1sd
@null-wj1sd 7 жыл бұрын
My ex cheated on me and I forgave her so I could be in peace with myself. "Forgiving isn't about letting the person off the hook it's about letting yourself off the hook."
@vitorialobo5364
@vitorialobo5364 27 күн бұрын
A true question, from someone who is learning about this. If forgiveness is about releasing the pain and angst you feel, than why the first thing you have to do is to understand their side?
@NoirRaven
@NoirRaven 7 жыл бұрын
Reading the comments; I'm rather disappointed in what I see. So many people are becoming venomous over the idea of forgiving those that wronged them, out of fear that the behaviour will repeat. People make mistakes and, I find that, when people are constantly abandoned, unforgiven and reminded/held to said mistakes, they don't grow. They dig in their heels and marry their undesirable traits because that's all they're ever left with. Forgiveness heals both parties and if this person meant anything to you at all, you should forgive and watch them grow.
@tarasutton1493
@tarasutton1493 7 жыл бұрын
Absolutely love this channel
@kobathedread
@kobathedread 7 жыл бұрын
I don't think my liver will ever forgive me.
@murderthemassacre
@murderthemassacre 2 жыл бұрын
Very good take, the quote " to forgive is to understand the origins of evil and cruelty"
@theepicsealshow123
@theepicsealshow123 7 жыл бұрын
i will never forgive anyone who hurt me
@servantofallah5400
@servantofallah5400 5 жыл бұрын
Same
@johankuhn
@johankuhn 7 жыл бұрын
I love your inspiring and insightful videos. Thank you.
@Fiyaaaahh
@Fiyaaaahh 7 жыл бұрын
You're more or less implying that personality is all nurture and no nature. I don't think that's accurate. People can be flawed without having a historic reason which we can comprehend by moving ourselves into their shoes.
@CassandraAveolii
@CassandraAveolii 6 жыл бұрын
both nature and nurture can be deterministic, what is to be asked is whether there is free will involved or not. and how to communicate the mistake to the other so they can welcome being conscious of it and then choose to change or not. then ask if they are equipped enough to make the change in behavior. if not how can you help
@ingridkneer8246
@ingridkneer8246 3 жыл бұрын
I would say understanding is forgiving. The act helps the person who is finding this hard, helps them expand in goodness and grow. And ultimately to move on and let go. Then in life they can thrive. Blessings to all, I m not quite there yet!
@JWGinge
@JWGinge 7 жыл бұрын
i will never forgive gabe newell for the lack of half life 3
@dabouye
@dabouye 7 жыл бұрын
I need to start forgiving myself. Thank you!
@RoKappa
@RoKappa 7 жыл бұрын
Sorry, but things like infidelity cannot ever be forgiven. At least that's how I am.
@nofilter.906
@nofilter.906 Ай бұрын
Forgiveness.....lots a beautiful words about how to do it,and why one needs to do it for better mental health, but,,,,,,,,,,,,the relationship is completely broken,,,,all you can do is fake it,,,,,
@ozymvndiaz
@ozymvndiaz 7 жыл бұрын
I shall now comment "first" as i lack any quality joke.
@MarinusMakesStuff
@MarinusMakesStuff 7 жыл бұрын
You don't have to joke. Nobody is forcing you. But I forgive you.
@pattycake1939
@pattycake1939 7 жыл бұрын
I forgive you👉
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