How To Get Over Someone You Never Even Dated | Mark Groves

Courses, coaching and events linktr.ee/crea...
Instagram / createthelove
Mark Groves Podcast omny.fm/shows/...
#dating #advice #relationships
Thanks for watching the video How To Get Over Someone You Never Even Dated | Mark Groves

[@emilytreu2312]

Finally learned this after falling so quickly for someone that I was dating. They rejected me. I calmly went away. Then they reached out again. And I ignored them. Took a lot of willpower to not get down on my knees and be like, why don’t you love me. It’s just going to cause more pain . I don’t want anymore pain

[@riverreacts632]

Yea me too

[@hp2546]

That would be more like breaking up with you. If that person rejected you, it means dating never happened. If you already had a date and then you were turned away, that would be more like. If you rejected, it would of meant you never dated that person. Remember that the title is let go of someone you never dated. Your sentence did say fall for someone you actually dated. I would say it is natural to be in love with someone that you are already dating.

[@jennerrants5983]

Dudeeeee same thing happened to me! And it was by a guy that I didn’t even like. Gave him a chance caught feelings and he left me for someone else I calmly went away as well then he comes back smh people only want you when you don’t chase them and that’s so messed up and toxic

[@hp2546]

@@jennerrants5983 You dealt with a guy who clearly wanted to cheat on his fiance. So of course, you have a power to point out many flaws he got. You can even challenge him to bring his fiance too because that behavior is not something he wants to use in front of his fiance. All he expects is for you to become a homewrecker.

[@RMichaelHimself]

@Cameron i’m struggling so bad right now. This girl was like the perfect girl. Everything was perfect. And she was the one who LIKED ME. Her interest and borderline obsessive interest in me over a few weeks eventually grew on me. She walked up to me all the time at work, asking me if I’m mad at her (like a crazy ex girlfriend). But somehow it made me fall for her. Maybe I’m weird, but it made me fall literally in love. Got her number, then find out she still lives with her “ex” BF. I got mad, texted her a rather hostile message and concluded it with a 🖕🏻 emoji. It was just in an emotional state. That was the beginning of the end. She was very off put by that, I guess it reminded her of her current abusive relationship. I tried to apologize, but I was blocked. Had a coworker reach out to her for me, to pass on my apology and explanation of my feelings. The message got to her and she admitted having feelings for me, but wanted to me to “wait” for her until she could peacefully move out of her ex’s home. I finally worked with her again today for the first time (over a week) since the initial hostile text exchange. It felt SO awkward. She sent her friends to get things from my area to just avoid coming near me. Suddenly I realized, I was the clingy one now. I’m the one thinking about her all the time, I’m the one over-thinking about everything she does. I’m the one on a random youtube comment talking about her at 1:16AM. I love her. I just, I do. I haven’t felt true love since I was 14. I’m in my late 20s now, and actually love this girl I haven’t even been on a date with. I know she liked me A LOT. For quite some time. And when I wasn’t reciprocating it, it seemed to make her like me more. Now that she knows I’m interested, it’s like the fire is gone. Oh what I would do, to have a time machine, go back to when she was still obsessed with me… and go about things in a calmer more subtle way. Get her number, then don’t text her for a couple days. Still act casual at work. Man. Now I feel like it could be too late. I know she must still have SOME feelings for me. It’s not like I’m acting desperate (at least not that she or her friends can see). But I feel desperate. I feel so passionately in love with her, and I feel like I still have this brief window to make her my woman before it closes for eternity. Just typing this makes me feel like a weirdo. Idk what to do. Just “moving on” is very, very hard for me when she’s all I think about 80% of my waking life. I don’t even want her sexually. I want her emotionally. My fantasy image with her is literally holding her hand at some sort of concert or at a restaurant. Going shopping with her and pulling her close and hugging her. Those are the images I fantasize about. I haven’t even visualized sex with her which is extremely weird for a man who has feelings towards a girl. You almost always picture grabbing her ass lol, or something sexual. NONE OF THAT with this girl. I want to freaking hold her hand man how weird is that. I don’t know how to move on. Obviously - like, Obviously - time will pass and feelings will dissipate. Especially if I manage to start accomplishing things in my life and bettering myself. But as of now, she is just too cute, too sweet. Too tender towards me. The memories I have of her coming over to me asking how I’m doing. Man I gotta stop typing this shit. Bros, pray for me. I have become a simp on this day 😮😢

[@Braqqet]

yep, im down bad

[@tjdaniels3706]

Ha same

[@jermiih9009]

I am too

[@Kaylee-fo3od]

same.

[@haon6387]

Same bro

[@tarquin2trappybro]

Down bad gang :( this is so tough

[@matthewkerr1948]

God, I expected pick-up artist bullshit and instead got a life lesson about childhood trauma which I hadn't put together until now

[@aminayousef6468]

sameee omfg

[@kalabafunga5878]

Same 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@Nuffsaid22]

It's funny... I've never thought that available was something I should consider. It's alittle heartbreaking to think of

[@lisaclark6712]

Q

[@lisaclark6712]

Qq

[@lisaclark6712]

Qqqqqaqqqq

[@lmusima3275]

I’ve had this happen to me so many times in my twenties and thirties. It’s a matter of not believing in the scarcity complex. There are plenty other guys out there apart from this one who doesn’t know I exist

[@spider-man9118]

Don’t mean to force Jesus on y’all or anything, but this is why you should ask God to send the one for you in one shot.

[@whynot9616]

I wish I had a chance with her even though she is dating/seeing someone else. Holding on to the feelings made me miss my chance with some other girl

[@introvertedways6976]

I can relate

[@Shums5205]

I held on to someone for 1.5 year. I find out she now has a boyfriend and has had one for half a year now, so I had 9 months to at least tell her how I feel about her, and now I'll never have the chance to because it will just be weird if I tell her.

[@hp2546]

@@Shums5205 It is life. Life do give you lemons. Once you find out she has a bf, you knew it is time to move on. I had experience finding out my crush had a bf in speech class before the pandemic. When that teacher asked where she is at, her friend made an excuse for her saying the reason why she is absent in class is because she went on a honeymoon with her bf. When I hear that, I went like ok, now I don't have to worry about telling her about my feelings. So I settled for her to be my group project partner.

[@MissJJoan]

I had the chance to tell my friend who is a guy how I feel but it came just a month after he and his gf broke up and I found out he had already started seeing someone else and I thought what else is there to say? Obviously he’s not interested. That’s what I thought in the moment, but then I regretted not telling him. I feel like it would have been more healthy if I just told him, got it out of my system. But I thought why humiliate myself like that? Just move on. But he does me these favors like helping me with my homework once in a while and I sometimes think aw he’s so sweet and then I feel like an idiot for liking someone I can’t have.

[@hp2546]

@@MissJJoan A good chance to tell your friend how you feel is supposed to be when your friend is available. Your friend was previously in a relationship with his gf. That was not a right time to tell your friend. Then the next step is your friend just got out of the relationship with his gf and moved on to date someone else. So all this time, you never had a chance to tell your friend. So you got to remind yourself that you never missed your chance. Your friend did not even settle for you to replace his gf. Moving on is your answer because your best friend was always taken. A good example of having a chance to tell someone is if that person is currently not dating and you know that you are not in line to date that person. So I don't think you missed your chance to tell your feelings because you were just sitting there waiting for your friend to break up with his gf.

[@123meenasalih]

“If you loved yourself, you’d make choices of receiving someone whose available and kind.” THAT HIT HARD‼️

[@slicelifetv]

This did not help me at all. I chose a girl that I knew was available. We had talked on and off for years and she even had explained to me at one point that she is seeing someone so I respected that and didn’t talk to her for a while. All of a sudden we’re talking again and actually hanging out often and having really great times and making really great memories. About a week ago now she just completely ghosted me. I am so confused and sad. I see she posts often on social media and she seems to have completely forgot about my existence already. I just can’t comprehend it. It feels like I was living in a dream and now I’m in some sort of nightmare. I keep trying to forget her but feelings and memories flood back in and I just start to cry. I don’t think she understands how much she’s hurt me. And I don’t think she cares that she hurt me if she does understand.

[@hp2546]

She already told you she was seeing someone which will mean you cannot claim she is available. Normally, if someone were to say sorry, I have a fiance or seeing that person, that technically means not available. She most likely just wanted to reject you but didn't know how. There is a reason why you should never invest in someone who claims to be seeing someone. Otherwise, you will give that person a power to see 2 people and that will lead her to trick you into being a homewrecker. Once someone tells you they are seeing someone, you must not count that as being available. You cut that person out of your life. Otherwise if you choose to get attach to that person who claim to be seeing someone else, you will only put yourself in a position where you put up with misery. The minute that person said she is seeing someone, you immediately cut that person out of your life. That way, there is no games played. Think about this. She never promised you any romance since day 1.

[@robertvelazquez1921]

1:48 “ you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” - -Wayne Gretzky

[@8thgateofdeath37]

I knew this girl for 2 years (nicest person I’ve ever met), we were both good friends I wanted to ask her out but I knew in near future I’d be moving to a different country so I told myself don’t ask her out if I do 90% chance she would reject me and 10% chance she’d say yes either way it would have been a lose lose situation so I just chose cherish those times with her as a friend. 5 years later I still think about that time how I felt…. I’ve never felt that feeling for someone else since then except for her.

[@lukejamieson1267]

Does it get easier.

[@Smellyninja11]

@@lukejamieson1267I’m chasing the dragon of those feelings. So far haven’t gotten them back from anyone else :/

[@daviddebergh254]

Reconnected with a high school ex, talked for a while and we both caught feelings for each other. Just cut her off this morning due to living in different states and not wanting to move (her family was there and my son is here). Working on myself through therapy and exercise to deal with past trauma so I don’t waste mine or anyone else’s time.

[@MachineWashable101]

Everyone in the comments sharing a similar experience, I believe in you. It can be so incredibly difficult and hurts when you’re in a situation like this and I completely understand how you feel. You can get through this!!!

[@louddeer1011]

So the reason we go for unavailable-to-us people is because we wanted acceptance from our parenrs but they never gave us that so we seek our partner to be uninterested in us and then become interested and love us to fill the hole that our parents made

[@martinisawe6300]

Dude I had my 1st true heartbreak last year and it was a painful yet humbling experience. I was obsessed to her and when she walked her baby brother i peak outside through my door (yeah creepy ik 😬). Anyways when we hung out i asked her out and she said "no". Didn't "believe" it until my sister show me her and her GF on IG (we were family friends). I was upset, jealous and cynical. On March this year i blocked her cause i couldn't stop obsessing her wanting to forget her and on April i deleted all my social media. Haven't spoke to her since. Yeah that's a problem and it's something I'm getting resolved through therapy.

[@jazr7997]

Jeez you’re great!!! Why haven’t I come across you earlier!??❤️🙌🏾

[@katyacxy488]

Fantastically put. Especially that last minute. The whole protecting oneself and living in a state of rejection by not owning your voice and being in a state of choosing. Really puts it in perspective in a way that is productive. Thanks!

[@johnlaurie5946]

She doesn’t even know who I am and I can’t sleep or eat this is unhealthy 😔sum1help pls I’m serious

[@K1ngsleyz_]

We can talk about it if you want just msg me. I’m in the same situation atm it’s sucks

[@johnlaurie5946]

@@K1ngsleyz_ how do u stop thinking about them ??

[@lolno9597]

@@K1ngsleyz_ same:)

[@jermiih9009]

Im in the same exact situation. It feels like shit

[@ivanj1234]

Fr

[@freespirit7450]

I been in love with a man for 7 years I barely see him. I cant stop thinking about. I think someone put a spell on me.

[@karolinafialkova9744]

Girl same but not for 7years only for year so far damn i hope i wont end up like you🤣 i wish you all the best hope you’ll be over him very soon

[@jaejamieson2647]

Omg same I never thought about that! I’m into witchcraft and magic but never thought of that…. Fuck

[@hannahberlinpetry450]

I’ve been on and off in love with someone for 10 years. I get it. It’s messed up and I wish I could stop it

[@ragingphoinix9144]

That was me, for a guy who never once chose me. And when it came down it, it wasn't even about him. I just wanted to win. Didn't matter my dignity was lost. Didn't matter how foolish it was. I wanted to WIN. Then the minute I realized how fucking stupid it was, gave up and walked away from the situation, of course he made all these declarations. It's funny how when the attention stops, how fast they come running. Evaluate whether it's really this person, or the fantasy you've created, and learn to replace the person in the fantasy with a viable option instead of holding on to what isn't.

[@biggooba6706]

@@ragingphoinix9144 what do you think made you like him that much?

[@weknowlah]

😭 i feel seen,, thanks for this though

[@magdakepa6186]

this explained more to me than anything ever before. thank you.

[@sofiaisacreepypastafan]

I had a crush he is so sweet and cute but in 2021. he moved away i didn't even get to tell him how i feel. there was one time he roasted a classmate of ours. and im like"daaaaaanm savage made me like him more.

[@jagd7102]

Agony

[@supportsniper4626]

Mood

[@jagd7102]

@@supportsniper4626 update. No longer in the friendzone, no longer in agony. It does in fact get better.

[@supportsniper4626]

@@jagd7102 not for the fruity kids like me

[@jagd7102]

@@supportsniper4626 my condolences.

[@supportsniper4626]

@@jagd7102 it's aight I'm used to unrequited love by now. Congrats to you tho

[@danadane2501]

" You miss 💯 of the shots you don't take " Wayne Gretzky !

[@andrewjc0251]

First point is helpful if the person you fell in love with is married. You can’t ever “take that shot” because it will make no difference. That hurts.

[@maryz6458]

Communication is key

[@harshal1312]

I have experienced this myself I used to like a girl and I still do but the thing is I never told her that I like her because we were good freinds and I didnt wanted to get things weird between us so Iam still hiding my feelings for her while she is dating another guy I just feel that in this one sided love you just give them so much because you genuinely love them and expect the same amout of affection and love from them but at the end you realise that person is just enjoying how much more you are giving them and what you recieve back is really not worth it I mean thats the saddest feeling I have ever experienced in my life Iam trying to get over her but its just so damn difficult I cry a lot about it but Iam helpless I cant do anything:(

[@tanmaymohod]

Maybe stop giving then so much attention. Meditate on thigs that are happening and take steps accordingly. If there are no steps forward from the other side, don't waste your time. You will find someone who loves you back.

[@harshal1312]

@@tanmaymohod Today is day 1 of doing exactly what you said I hope this will help me thanks for your comment anyway:)

[@tanmaymohod]

@@harshal1312 yes you will!! Definitely!

[@GhostRangerr]

I'm literally in the same situation and the emotional pain is just too much. Man I just wish I never knew her in the first place 😭

[@tobi_._]

@@GhostRangerrhow you doin now brother

[@tarquin2trappybro]

This was a great video. I’m really looking for a sign to just remove her from all social media although I still have to see her almost everyday in person. I just need a push to take that step.

[@dragonbees5735]

Bro I'm struggling aswell I've nearly liked this girl for a year now and I have to see her everyday at school and I got her social media so it's hard to get away from her so I'm starting to just stop going on insta and tiktok so I only see her at school so I may lose abit of interest maybe

[@hp2546]

@@dragonbees5735 All you have to do is just practice social distance in 6 ft. As long as she is not removing her profile from social media, there is no need to cut off your own account. Besides, you are at school which means it is temporary. By the time you graduate, you won't see her anymore. Problem solved. You don't have to force yourself to cut her out of your life. When you are around her in person, just pretend you live in March 2020. What do many people do in 2020? They each were forced to follow the 6 ft social distance guidelines. Whole point of admiring from afar is not to give an impression you like her and you just have to admire her from distance. You don't have to be close to her. The more you practice social distance, you will naturally get over her. It takes time. You don't have to cut her out completely.

[@zinzibam]

I’m am astounded by what I’ve just watched. Thank you for this

[@andreafajardoperdomo]

Maybe you're secretly afraid of commitment 😜

[@unisangalaxystudio]

Me I like a girl from my community College who rejected me and made me feel inferior, but she was extremely cute... never got over her it's been 8 years since that happened......now this year I had a crush on a coworker who doesn't seem I exist and it hurts....still talk to her even seeing her and hearing her voice gives me joy of living.. but I know I have to move on am afraid in 8 more years she still be on my mind.

[@hp2546]

Just treat it like it is 2020. Year of the pandemic. I mean so far, you went through confessing to your crush only to get rejected when you were in community college. That experience right there was meant to tell you to slow down and don't rush to confess. What will fit the theme is just admire from afar because having your crush to talk to you is good enough for you. You don't need a relationship with them to feel joy. The more you practice social distance, the more you get used to it. It doesn't matter how long that person is in your mind. It only matters that you don't act upon them. Never know if someday, your coworker will quit that job or receives a transfer to another department. Any crush you meet is temporary. Just admire from afar until your crush leaves. That community college is a good example. You were not expected to see the same person in community college either. I know I have been there. So your Crush A is this girl from community college. Then you 2 went your separate ways and in community college, you aren't expected to be classmates with her for every semester. Eventually after 8 years you found another woman to crush on which she will be your Crush B at work. So next, if that Crush B has not been part of your life for a long time, you might find a 3rd person to crush on.

[@unisangalaxystudio]

@hp2546 1st crush yea only saw her for a day, basically just saying hi getting her number and that's it never saw her again....this was March 2015. 2nd one was different due to well I see her few times a week, plus she very flirty with me, I given her gifts before and even tried to take her out to dinner but was turn down. I still see her she had a huge impact on my life, since I went from a anxious person to a somewhat normal no longer fearing public areas. I feel once I leave this job am not going to bother anymore with getting a crush since I feel I past my pride age, I just want to get my foot in the door in my career job, work non-stop to not have those feelings anymore.

[@HelloSsweatspro]

I've known her for 4 years, asked her out 3 years ago, got rejected, didn't talk for a year, and last year and this year have started to talk again. The problem? I'm not attractive enough. I've watched so many self improvement videos, I go to the gym 2-3 times a week, am acheiving most of my goals. Except I can't date her. I want to. I love her so much. But she dosen't. And I can't move on. She is the only one for me. I can't move on. I have even contemplated ending it all. Anyone who tells me that girls don't have power are lying. I don't think I can get through this. Everyday I see her and I just can't hold myself together. Someone tell me what to do. I've fucked up my life and my relationship all because i love this girl so so much. Why does this world have to be so cruel?

[@topps9647]

Hey buddy, i know this is hard cause i'm going through something similar right now. I,m trying to do the "No Contact" thing but it is almost impossible because she works where i do. We need to be strong and not put ourselves down. One thing i do know is that these destructive feelings we have will almost certainly go away and we will wonder what we saw in the girl, i know cause i've been here before. Take it easy my friend and please speak to someone because our life is very precious and things will get better, i promise.

[@robertamattos1688]

Hello, sir. I understand what you are feeling. It's really hard to deal with it, but believe me there will be someone else for you. You need to start no contact and slowly move on from this feeling, because normally we hold ourselves back and, by doing that, we are not able to see other opportunities in life. But I have faith in you. If I could do it, you will too.

[@kieradwyer102]

Dude you blew my mind and really opened up my eyes!

[@Ivaorz]

What if? Just hear me out 😰 what if that person is like.. made up ?! Then what!?

[@rebeccaramsey1274]

What about if it's been like 15ish years of feelings for someone??? 🤦 So many obstacles, a literal impossibility, but absolutely no sign of getting over it any time soon. Actually it's gotten stronger and harder over time. When I start to forget I see him again. It's like a cruel joke. The universe is taunting "haha, look what you can't have, but you're not allowed to move on either!"

[@markgroves]

Prioritize healing above EVERYTHING. BLock, mute, get yourself clear of the energy.

[@reneehaynes8289]

It's called limerance. Look it up

[@doubleozer0]

It was actually Wayne grrezky that's said u miss 100% of shots u don't take :)

[@usatexas8027]

I know of a man who could help you restore back your relationship either your ex or soulmate

[@usatexas8027]

He was the one who helped me in restoring back my ex partner three days ago without delay

[@usatexas8027]

Whtsaap him"**

[@IronsharkGaming4747]

Bruh this girl is so pretty and everytime i get over it i see her again and another girl likes me and im trying to like her super hard but i can't get over the first one....

[@Kat3111]

😀 Discovered ur channel.... I like ur approach in talking in ur vids, Mark. Very useful channel. Some of the stuff I strongly agree with and looks like I always knew, just didn't discover in myself. I was attracted and attracting emotionally unavailable men for few years. Until I put a final end to it this year. I guess it was enough. Now I discovered what was wrong for many years and working excessively on myself this year. Sometimes it feels like 2020 is a nightmare and even worse than 2019 was for me personally....although at the same time I discovered so many new things about myself this year. And even about those men I was in dating/relationship with. It feels very renewing and good actually. And I discovered that I love psychology and that I always had a very strong natural intuition with people, just did not listen to myself sometimes in the past coz of unhealthy attachments. Looks like this year is revealing in a good way after all...😀 Good videos u have here, Mark.

[@shaimaa385]

thank you 🌷

[@malinip2568]

Love love love love this!

[@ibrahimlabak2542]

The real problem is that the fact that I haven’t spoke to this person for more than a month and I am self sabotaging to the point where I am not functioning whatsoever neither am I accomplishing anything

[@Official_Suave]

Why do we become infatuated with someone we do not know?

[@chrisshowering7357]

I met someone about 5 years ago maybe more i made him wait a year for sex. We have never dated but i am kept in the shadows so now i have made it clear that sex is no longer an option and neither am i.

[@samdryden7944]

It was Wayne Gretzky who said you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

[@talktalk2412]

Sounds similar to my siutation

[@Theunfortunate_soul]

That’s too damn deep

[@cian6835]

Airport shit be like

[@walterbass290]

she called for 2 yrs. i had 3 number changes before no calls but stalking drive-bys still.

[@Catherine-zq1kb]

Really great. Thank you 🙏

[@cristi8995]

I really really appreciate your content

[@manikmahajan3453]

Thanks dude

[@Malosphere]

Fml

[@123meenasalih]

This helped.

[@waakkeuppp]

4:12

[@irishdaud9650]

How about my experience sir? She sent me motives and during our first met, we made love and after that I found out she has a boy friend, but I am hooked with the idea of being her boyfriend because it’s been 6 yrs since the last time I get into a relationship. But we still see each other now, we even kiss each other on the lips but she just cant choose me. As of now, I can’t lose her, can you give me some advices? It triggers my anxiety and depression again, It’s like I’m literally going back to that dark place I fought so hard to get out of, send me help sir! 💔💔💔😭😭🤐

[@hp2546]

That person is someone you already dated while the title of this video is supposed to be about how to let go of someone you never even dated. She was in a situation where she gets to kiss more then 1 man which is you and her bf. So pretty much she is cheating on her bf basically. If her bf finds out, he will be furious. So your choice is you either stay stuck in a love triangle or you just break up and let her stay with her bf. If you keep offering, you will only tempt her into cheating on her bf. You will put her on a spot where she must keep that relationship a secret from her bf. If you say you can't lose her, that is same as saying you want to compete against her bf.

[@ILOVEFATTOCATTOS]

Are you okay now? Also, why would you like someone who is practically cheating on their boyfriend for you?

[@biondna7984]

Thank you for this.

[@hummingbirdlife8723]

That was awesome

[@michellestar5685]

@Mark are you available? 😂

[@celloviola110]

This made my day. 😁😂😁. Thanks Michelle.

[@TheErika711]

Ughhhhh it keeps going back to my Damn Father I can’t win - but I hear you

[@neshayrobinson]

Same

[@kaylaschoeberle1970]

My question though is. When we're together he almost announces his feelings especially when drinking and continues to watch from afar looking at every single story I post and being one of the first to do so, BUT dry and only texts back when it's on his terms. From a man's point of view, why?

[@supportsniper4626]

I am not a man but I hope your doing well and I think he might be nervous

[@digitalynxmedia]

I’ve been experiencing the same thing, did you figure out why?

[@nixweldon1618]

I know this was a year ago, but I still want to answer cause I'm a man. For context, I've been in love with this one girl for almost 2 years now. She had to move away before we could even start dating. We didn't do long distance or anything because I think we both knew that would probably make things worse. Anyway, I would hit her up every once in a while to see how she's been, because my feelings were still very strong for her. But I didn't know if she was meeting new people she liked instead of me, or if I was good enough, or if I would seem to desperate for her so I kept the texting to a minimal. Even when drunk sometimes I also ALMOST said something but refrained from it because the fear of rejection. I'm scared she may not like me anymore and that's why. If it's possible that she doesn't like you anymore, as a man you'd rather not be in contact than face that. But I admire her so much still which is why I'm always first to view her stories. She's usually one of the first to view mine as well, though I'm not sure if that means anything.

[@nixweldon1618]

As a man, from my point of view it's really 100% nervousness. The feelings are still very strong.