When you open up, others open up. Remember, though: you can only open the door. Don't get mad if they don't walk through. Same for getting anybody to like you. If they don't respond, move on.
@alexmyladoor48585 жыл бұрын
So true.
@pipbypip5 жыл бұрын
This needs more attention:)
@yashgaikwad53215 жыл бұрын
Million dollar comment
@austintomkewitz72065 жыл бұрын
Okay homeless guy watching KZbin from the McDonalds parking lot
@fawfuls5 жыл бұрын
@@austintomkewitz7206 What the hell are you on about?
@theraptor34853 жыл бұрын
On history class a girl opened a conversation by saying, "have you ever licked a wall" it was a very deep conversation
@MM-vs2et3 жыл бұрын
I've had someone open with "Do you support unionizing workers"
@rahmikamila25993 жыл бұрын
😂
@stevethea52503 жыл бұрын
@@MM-vs2et step 1. Be hot Step 2.reduce brain/verbal filter Step 3. Ask assumption question
@williewilson22503 жыл бұрын
I hope you mean deep in more than one way
@generalconcannon2023 жыл бұрын
I like the: you have more chance to die by cow than by shark
@manamancy3 жыл бұрын
Most important advice about opening up: be ready for people to judge/reject you. Not everyone can bring themselves to be objective and understanding.
@iamdoctorcat6347 Жыл бұрын
Me: are you okay with open relationship My friend: no why Me: I'm okay with this because..... My friend: SCREAMING CHEATING, BULLY JUDGES ME I'm not finish conversation but I can't talk to him because he dont try understand and listen. And bully me. I stopped open up
@BudgieCute Жыл бұрын
@@iamdoctorcat6347 please don't stop opening up, it's important for your mental health. if you're friend really does that, ask yourself if you really want to keep being friends with them. you might be happier without them
@itszahra4075 Жыл бұрын
Sometimes you feel like the person is always ready to judge and reject you whatever you say. Or that they don’t take you seriously because they are not used to opening up.
@BudgieCute Жыл бұрын
@@itszahra4075 exactly!
@nicoleelias6925 Жыл бұрын
Ayyy I'm your 1.1k liker :D
@santo4saints5 жыл бұрын
Omg, It works! I followed these tips and I got a person to open up about them being a serial killer.
@april-vq2mh5 жыл бұрын
Esther V. Kinda what Ted Bundy did 😍😍
@benjaminhaynes80325 жыл бұрын
Esther V. when the comments r funnier than the video
@kayla45514 жыл бұрын
@@benjaminhaynes8032 I don't think the video was meant to be funny
@naomiiryan80714 жыл бұрын
:0
@thekinginthenorth9894 жыл бұрын
Nice
@danieleduardomorenoperez18863 жыл бұрын
The hardest thing about opening up a person, is when they start screaming :(
@KG-lb2pe3 жыл бұрын
🤣🤣🤣really...you saw some weird ass ppl
@jonathanjohn10753 жыл бұрын
ahh... yes. murder
@alymax21593 жыл бұрын
@@jonathanjohn1075 YOUR FUNNY BRO 💀😭
@shin17193 жыл бұрын
Lol🪚
@gremlinfifty23083 жыл бұрын
:D
@jorianvannee95903 жыл бұрын
-doesn't care about what society thinks -explains the importance of 'social value'
@gecgec34093 жыл бұрын
Hmmm
@rnbois63463 жыл бұрын
That part seemed somewhat contradictory. But maybe, he was just explaining how people tend to percieve others, more than anything, and how that affects opening conversations with weird topica or something.
@panchuleta033 жыл бұрын
yes i found that ironic lmao
@cliffburton15453 жыл бұрын
@@rnbois6346 Exactly! I made one of my classmates open up to me about them being a failed abortion yesterday.
@siyacer2 жыл бұрын
Those things aren't mutually exclusive in any way.
@tunasandwich48835 жыл бұрын
The scary part about opening up is when they judge and avoid you after the conversation
@emmahart97154 жыл бұрын
But just think for a second: does it strongly affect you if someone avoids you? If it does, then don't worry man, you're you and you can do how you please (but obviously no murder lol) and other bad stuff nono lol sorry im just trying to help in the best way i can
@freeyolow0-0864 жыл бұрын
Damn, i haven't thought about this
@AryaStark473 жыл бұрын
@@emmahart9715 dude you really disd help. Sometimes I limit my creativity and my childlike personality just because I am afraid of peoples ideas about me. BUT I REAAALLY LOVE BEING THAT WAY. Your comment surely did help people like me. Thank you for commenting dis loge ya take care💙
@mariaxr.72813 жыл бұрын
@General relativity oof hey there hope you are safe in this pandemic :) Damn i had forgotten about my comment xD So, from the beginning i was very cautious of everything i told them because i didnt want to be misunderstood (i apologize but i cant share much of what had happened). I was always careful with my words and the reason why i decided to confront them was because i noticed some shady behavior on their part. I never attacked them, on the contrary i tried to be civil with them and asked them if they had any problems with me but they reacted in a very inappropriate manner (i tried to reason with them but one ignored me and the other was really immature and insulted me for no reason) I know that the lack of contex isnt helping but i can only say that i did have a valid reason for the confrontation and the way the other friend reacted (the one who insulted me) told me everything i needed to know about her actual view of me and my situation :(
@PowerK13 жыл бұрын
There are other people to open up to, that one person is not everyone
@danwooliver20665 жыл бұрын
man: **opens up to you and hasn't told anybody** you: **puts it on internet**
@zainabhi84755 жыл бұрын
🤣🤣
@muramiq4 жыл бұрын
You have trust issues my dude
@blendwithsaif4 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@weirdchamp46014 жыл бұрын
Merrill George r/whoooosh
@yoursexyfish96314 жыл бұрын
@@weirdchamp4601 he literally just said he knows that it's a joke. Also it's not a reddit post.
@Victor-yz3 жыл бұрын
How to open up someone First step - iniciate with small talk Second step - get a little deeper, but slowly Third step - talk about things that bothers you, and ask for the other person's opinion Fourth step - be intimate, just don't rush things, at this step, you should prioritize being genuine Remember that being smooth and intuitive are keys that will help you opening that door, and the progression should be slow, and remember to listen the person you're conversating. The thing you must prioritize in the entire conversation is being genuine.
@30percentBattery Жыл бұрын
For some reason I read the first line as "Fisrt step - lick them" I was really confused lmao
@bub3124 Жыл бұрын
First step: initiate with small talk Second step: get a little deeper, but slowly Third step: go deeper inside of them and release all of your coem
@kareemprice104611 ай бұрын
Man you said exactly what I’ve been saying 💪🏾 it really stems from being genuine. But yeah you hit the nail with this💯💯💯💯
@jamesgriffin99565 жыл бұрын
“I actually squat on the toilet” *Finally.. someone who understands me*
@youdontknowme24785 жыл бұрын
Kisenon I do it too
@bakamono26305 жыл бұрын
People at my country do but I don't and they think I'm weird.
@tigerhoshii57773 жыл бұрын
i do it before. but now I dont cuz its tiring and i might break the toilet lol
@rav_4d3 жыл бұрын
Where is jschlatt?
@Johnhasa13 жыл бұрын
Me too...
@markangelosambrano17405 жыл бұрын
Dentist: Open up please Me: Sometimes I get sad.
@reubenbulko5 жыл бұрын
Mark Angelo Sambrano 😂😂😂
@davidkhow885 жыл бұрын
Lmaoo
@ΕυγενιοςΠ5 жыл бұрын
Χαχαχαχαχα
@eao35655 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂😁😄😀😃🙁☹️😟😞😢😭
@_.l.6275 жыл бұрын
@@ΕυγενιοςΠ ti gelas sta elinika tha nomizoun oti les xaxaxa
@chadlikespasta31423 жыл бұрын
I like that you address the "social value" aspect. How certain things can land differently depending on who they come from, and some advice isnt a one size fits all type of deal.
@evelynmccabe3 жыл бұрын
I needed this. The older I got, the more anxiety I gained, and the less I felt comfortable socializing with people. I have NEVER had a filter as a child and I was perfectly fine doing weird crap and making a fool of myself to have fun and be childish, but I lost this trait as I got older and stopped being able to talk to people because I felt uncomfortable being myself. This video really helps me to gain back what I once had.
@anassjebali56843 жыл бұрын
I have the same problem, I hope one day I go back like the old me
@marcodurante98923 жыл бұрын
I have the exact same problem
@sujit72923 жыл бұрын
Same... I was not even able to put it into words :(
@fortunetaco45852 жыл бұрын
@@anassjebali5684 u are me
@ferchotorrico80322 жыл бұрын
Happened the same, felt like i had much more friends and conversations when i was a kid compared to high school and nowadays. It's okay to be mature but sometimes we have to go back and pick up what we left behind, what we value the most about ourselves, that spark that once made us become happy somehow
@MissCaptainStrange5 жыл бұрын
This is great. I hate small talk. I love deep, bonding conversations. I will definitely try this in my search to find a friend. Thank you 😊
@108ahah5 жыл бұрын
Agreed!!! Tried to learn from my extrovert friends , but in the end I still think small talk isn't suitable for me to use. I dislike it! Especially if it makes up most of your conversation.
@boiledmushroom98295 жыл бұрын
I beat my wife now talk to me.
@boiledmushroom98295 жыл бұрын
@@MissCaptainStrange yes I let her win a game called "sorry" every two years the rest of the time I beat her
@trombonetribute64333 жыл бұрын
I'll never understand what's so bad about casual conversations. You shouldnt expect to have a deep conversations with dozens of strangers.
@essential_chaos3 жыл бұрын
@@trombonetribute6433 Exactly!
@strivingfornewhorizons92813 жыл бұрын
I just realized that that's why my roommate and I had a deep connection right from the start. We both did those things. My strength is opened up by telling weird stories and being honest about who I am, his strength is listening very closely (he's extremely attentive, something I have to pay more attention to)
@garciaerick8985 жыл бұрын
1.Lower your filter. This will make others believe that you can't be any crazier than them. 2.ask assumption questions. Pick up on cues and ask questions based off those and what interests you about them. It's okay to be honest. This is my way of engraving these lessons into my noggin :)
@e.m.30743 жыл бұрын
jokes on you, people open to me because i am most definitely crazier then them
@fallentitan77043 жыл бұрын
@@e.m.3074 I bet im crazier
@e.m.30743 жыл бұрын
@@fallentitan7704 mental health is not a competition my guy
@happymimi11292 жыл бұрын
@@fallentitan7704 No, I'm craziest
@happymimi11292 жыл бұрын
@@e.m.3074 Said nobody ever
@Greedude3 жыл бұрын
Most people don’t want to hear you talk too long about your own life or interests at first. It’s natural, everyone is guilty of it because people are inherently more self centered. But nobody likes the guy that dominates the conversation and ignores your thoughts to talk more about themselves. And everybody likes the guy that listens to what you have to say. So be the guy that asks questions and makes the other person open up to you while you make comments about whatever they’re talking about while trying to flatter them and boost their confidence. Makes conversation a lot smoother and both people more happy.
@mattb15683 жыл бұрын
Yep, this is truth
@strivingfornewhorizons92813 жыл бұрын
True, something I really have to work on. I tend to overshare and not get to an end🙄 Makes me feel guilty af whenever it happens (I usually realize it after the convo ends), I hope I'll be able to improve that soon
@kresspqressie77222 жыл бұрын
@@strivingfornewhorizons9281 bruh this is me
@Cooc0a2 жыл бұрын
It’s hard bc im simply trying to keep the convo going- but it ends up with me talking nonstop
@f.boogaloospook23182 жыл бұрын
Carnegie rule
@neville13112 жыл бұрын
This is something I've realized I do subconsciously. I have never understood why people suddenly open up to me about so private stuff even though I haven't even known them for long. My next step is to learn how to actually respond to someone suddenly opening up cause rn I get really overwhelmed and I don't know how to properly answer.
@Holy_Toons2 ай бұрын
Same 😅
@ultleo8393 жыл бұрын
I'm watching this so that I know when people are trying to get me to open up and I can stop all of their efforts
@elleocampo13343 жыл бұрын
lol samedt ☠️
@mattb15683 жыл бұрын
It’ll help you to open up tho. Trust me
@ultleo8393 жыл бұрын
@@mattb1568 its a joke tho, I have no friends to open up to lol
@matheussanthiago96853 жыл бұрын
smart
@GuardianTiger3 жыл бұрын
@@mattb1568 True but don't force it. It's even more unhealthy.
@szachgr435 жыл бұрын
it's much easier to tell some "secrets" to someone who you don't know that people don't have a business to share this information to others or judge
@nat5hanlewis7363 жыл бұрын
Yep, cuz those people don't know who you are talking about, haha
@AppleWu-520 Жыл бұрын
Yessir, sounds right
@vincent4652 Жыл бұрын
3:09 is the part where it says "if you're out of shape or poor, don't even bother". That's great. That judgmentalism is why a lot of people off themselves.
@RealtalkwithIhuoma5 жыл бұрын
*This here is a great tool to live an influential life*
@fleskimiso5 жыл бұрын
Indeed
@davidvianello58815 жыл бұрын
A little to influential, I must say...
@niohoe50335 жыл бұрын
lmao my classmate’s influence just uses it for her own gain I hate the fact that she’s like that
@chiangedison80804 жыл бұрын
My friend's friend quite literately called me a "9 seconds best friend" because how in nine seconds she said "I feel like i can tell you anything"
@sanguivoir69233 жыл бұрын
You're a legend haha! how do you do it? 😭
@aincorvarztyk94893 жыл бұрын
Share us some tipsss
@williewilson22503 жыл бұрын
I'm assuming you are quiet?
@yoyashuyo34853 жыл бұрын
Answers is just respond in mid conversation like: _hmm really okay_
@harlequin-grim Жыл бұрын
I got the opposite problem. Pretty much as soon as I meet people they dump their life story on me. Sometimes it's lovely, other times I don't have space for it. Some days, it feels like a curse. I don't really get too vulnerable with strangers like I used to. I like to think I don't really 'open the door,' rather they get a certain feeling from me and feel invited in, when really there has been no express invitation. It's weird.
@popsicIes Жыл бұрын
I experience this as well. They also don't open the door for you at all, either. It's festive.
@harlequin-grim Жыл бұрын
@@popsicIes are we just human door mats or what. I don’t get it.
@ScottSwalwell5 жыл бұрын
be open, transparent and your authentic self who brings value, supports others and isn't afraid to share your weaknesses
@kaylorenzoctobre34533 жыл бұрын
But then they ghost you 😖
@shafaet11943 жыл бұрын
Don't share all your weaknesses with others. The world is a cruel place, it's not all butterflies and people are just gonna like you more and support you more. You can however open up about your weird traits, things that bother you, etc. Revealing your deep dark weaknesses to too many people will generally lead to them someday taking advantage of you when you're not close to them.
@Inerize5 жыл бұрын
Ask deep questions, don't judge and just listen. Nobody likes to share intimate stuff so then someone can critic or give you advice.
@fleskimiso5 жыл бұрын
First thing is to listen.
@PeskieRebecca5 жыл бұрын
Its so hard to start a conversation though
@guanedits63493 жыл бұрын
but then they take it as a way for them to talk on forever
@amansafeer23472 жыл бұрын
@@guanedits6349 Mmm true
@guanedits63492 жыл бұрын
@@amansafeer2347 At this point I'm a professional listener lol
@augth3 жыл бұрын
"Hello I squat on toilets" "Oh wow I feel like we’ll be best friends !"
@CosmicStarlyte2 ай бұрын
That's a way to start a convo! 😅
@velucadhirim67255 жыл бұрын
Be yourself and dont care what other people think and you're filter will come off.
@ace-46345 жыл бұрын
Sydney Shorltz Problem is, I can’t be myself. I really care what other people think about me and it makes me scared and sad and it stops me from doing things just because I don’t know what people will say about me.
@mattgarte84735 жыл бұрын
@@ace-4634 LMAO you just opened up 😂 (It's not a bad thing)
@ace-46345 жыл бұрын
Matt Writesalot In the internet im okay with it because nobody knows who I am but in real life.... yikes. ;-;
@therealvoltix5 жыл бұрын
@@ace-4634 I have friends who i became friends with super quick even I was surprised how quick and deep our relationship got (no homo) just be yourself even if your weird that dosent mean ppl wont be your friends if they see you dont care what others think and your true to yourself trust me they'll open up
@therealvoltix5 жыл бұрын
@@ace-4634 btw I'm the serious type so it grew on me how fast I became friends with some ppl i honestly dont even know who opened up first but yea
@junior1able5 жыл бұрын
My weird dilemma, is that I'm an introvert whose general body language nd lack of judgement invites ppl to share their life story with me. I definitely agree that the context of ur mode of thinking nd conversational topic makes a difference cuz I get bored of the everyday safe conversation
@mattb15683 жыл бұрын
I’m the same way lol. People know I’m not surface level so they just jump in
@dgvanz11552 жыл бұрын
I'm glad that it's not just me.
@karencardozoquintero3769 Жыл бұрын
Comment from three years ago, but I feel the same way, I mean, what are the chances that when I'm in the mall, if I don't have my cell phone at hand, they talk to me? and I am severely introverted when the people on the buses are with me and I am there looking at the window all calm, they begin to talk to me. And they absolutely grab my attention. (From asking for the time, until a guy who sold tangerines on the road tried to make a sale with me even when I said NO. Several times)
@tiarac243 Жыл бұрын
This is literally my brother lol And then I'm the ADHD one with overt body language and very talkative haha
@manager-nim26233 жыл бұрын
I naturally do this when I find an interesting person to talk to, i just talk to them the why I'd like someone to pay attention when talking to me and it works most of the time, i didn't there's an actual trick to it
@anniea34115 жыл бұрын
Me: *breathes* Everyone: "I had a horrificly traumatic childhood"
@shafaet11943 жыл бұрын
Annie A breathed in my perimeter, I feel happy!
@galaxi65853 жыл бұрын
ah yes. the shonen protag personality
@themosaab115 жыл бұрын
Nobody: Improvement pill: so I don't actually sit down on toilets, it turns out that's not how we're biologically designed to do it.
@nabilsalih28985 жыл бұрын
Explains Indian toilets
@netry32725 жыл бұрын
But he is right y'know
@adamstates23285 жыл бұрын
I already knew that and I always use to do it and my family would laugh at me for doing it.
@TonkaJay5 жыл бұрын
I also don't like the cold seat touching my butt. However, I also don't care to disrobe and squat. I'm gonna do it next time I need to at home just because then I can. As a half Japanese/Irish child me and my brothers did squat a lot to play in the dirt. I cannot squat as well as I could then. I'm guessing it's like bicycle riding. I'll be able to get right back to it once I try.
@zzdesolatezz5 жыл бұрын
I place a wide, thin wad of tissue at the center of the toilet before I squat so I don't get splash up. I also came up with this idea as a kid lol. As a bonus, it also helps to avoid smear marks. Oh, and also the second the turd hits the water be sure to flush immediately to mitigate the smell and if done right, nobody would ever even know you took a shit in the first place.
@pjohns9532 Жыл бұрын
I’ve always held the opinion that small talk is the killer of burgeoning friendships, and that if you really want lasting friendships you need to talk and share things that are real. Emotions, conflict, and happiness these are all experiences that we share and shouldn’t be shy’d away from in conversation
@jackarolax57705 жыл бұрын
Ah, I can remember, when I told my friend a weird thing I tried one day. he didn't open up, instead, he told everyone in class about it and the whole class mocked me about it for several weeks. Nice.
@alexale6655 жыл бұрын
Jackarolax from what I can tell, and this is just my guess, it sounds like that may have been not the best situation to have a deep conversation and opening up time. Maybe try something similar, but alone and in a more serious setting? Or maybe your friend just wasn’t being nice, as well as your classmates, that didn’t sound very nice either. I’m not actually sure, but that’s just what I could think of to try and help. Oh and maybe also try deepening your relationship with your friend beforehand by sharing things like that over time (hopefully without him going off and telling everyone else so they can mock you) and then try to get him to open up. Or maybe just doesn’t get it and doesn’t take what you say to heart or seriously. I really don’t know, sorry, just trying to help
@jackarolax57705 жыл бұрын
@@alexale665 Thanks for the attempt to help, but I think that he is just not mature enough (me and him are 15) and I always tend to have really superficial conversations with him, even though I sometimes try to deepen the conversation. He basically just points out "funny" or stupid things in people or in other things. At first, its reslly funny, but then it starts to wear off and is really annoying. But I'm now in whats called in Germany "Obetstufe". Its the 11th and 12th Class and everyone has a customized schedule, that is based on what lessons he picked and which of them he left out. That leads to Classes beong torn apart and luckily me and my "friend" dont picked the same lessons, so we dont see each other that often again. I think, Im also starting to get to know better friends in the 11th class.
@omniscientomnipresent55005 жыл бұрын
@@jackarolax5770 I feel you
@user-fz3ip3ke8p5 жыл бұрын
@@jackarolax5770 bin in genau der gleichen situation
@jackarolax57705 жыл бұрын
@@user-fz3ip3ke8pwoher weißt du, dass ich deutsch kann?
@tinanana465 жыл бұрын
"... people know you have friends" .. well, I'm already doomed :D
@97Arshan5 жыл бұрын
Ayyy lmao. Same here xD
@nishatlala39905 жыл бұрын
Same lmao
@erikhernandez33365 жыл бұрын
Substitute act friendly and ask them for little favors like lending you a pencil or something silly like that
@omniscientomnipresent55005 жыл бұрын
😢
@mouinemhb49605 жыл бұрын
Damn rip
@Bentcrowbar2 жыл бұрын
This video: *Exists* The therapist friend: *rigorously takes notes*
@koemi01995 жыл бұрын
My crush has all these tips perfected, he just knows exactly how to talk to people and how to get people to feel relaxed around him. I hardly talk to anyone because I’m so shy and anxious all the time, but this guy always knows exactly how how make me open up, he’s very encouraging and listens intently to everything I say and gives the best advice... He’s very popular and loads of people enjoy hanging around him because he’s just so easy to relax around. He can say the most random funny things and it instantly lets everyone know he’s always being completely himself so he’s someone people can trust opening up to. I really want to be like that, and this video definitely highlights his key aspects and explains it well. I lack confidence and would love to be able to just say random funny things to just break the ice with people and be that person everyone trusts enough to open up to.
@davewest22713 жыл бұрын
I always wondered why random new acquaintances would just open up, but your reasoning behind why makes a LOT of sense
@maurisa5143 жыл бұрын
This is exactly why every time I try to talk to someone in person it's always so awkward!!!! It's so sad to finally leave the house after quarantine just to be scared to socialize
@TkevTV5 жыл бұрын
How to make people open up and make new friendships? *Be attractive and have friends* Uff
@pepperdayjackpac45215 жыл бұрын
No.
@kennychallis15 жыл бұрын
@@pepperdayjackpac4521 but also yes
@masterchief58335 жыл бұрын
@@kennychallis1 lel yed but actually no but yes
@boondocs66575 жыл бұрын
Well yes but actually no, Everything that was stated was something that COULD be improved upon. So don't be too intimidated by the value given.
@burnt.norton4 жыл бұрын
it’s true.
@nabilsalih28985 жыл бұрын
Pill low key believes in aliens
@nabilsalih28985 жыл бұрын
The evidence is overwhelming, so yea me too
@HahaYes5 жыл бұрын
pillowkey
@anniesquyres67375 жыл бұрын
Don't most people
@ctrlzme.64485 жыл бұрын
Tbh, if humans are real, then aliens should be real too. There can’t be only one planet that can withstand life.
@Andrewscreen5 жыл бұрын
@@ctrlzme.6448 also different creatures and organisms my need different enviroments just like different animals maybe theres living species on planets that would be un habtiable for humans
@jarullins2 Жыл бұрын
this is very accurate! i did notice people opening up to me more often than ever since i started to live abroad. now it makes sense its just my conversation style. I hope ill get my friend to open up today, i really love him. really love.
@typenamehere29946 ай бұрын
A year later, how did it go?
@alexandru10165 жыл бұрын
Me: Can't wait to make people open- My social anxiety: Nope.
@108ahah5 жыл бұрын
I can't agree more with you!!!
@glossydrop81075 жыл бұрын
Si eu :(
@alexandru10165 жыл бұрын
@Dashi Do you think i do that on purpose?
@somebodylikesbacon19605 жыл бұрын
Same, I try to tell someone about the things I care about I remember what happened after telling someone about what I care about that one time in 4th grade and I still blame 4th grade and probably shouldn't.
@alexandru10165 жыл бұрын
@@somebodylikesbacon1960 I'm sorry to hear that...take: ❤...a bit of love from me to everyone (i think we all need some) 🤗
@monkiram5 жыл бұрын
In social psychology, we call this reciprocal self-disclosure, and it's how relationships naturally develop. When you first meet somebody, you start with small talk, then start asking each other questions or volunteering information about yourself that is increasingly more personal (eg. first you ask about career and kids, then you discuss opinions about a superficial topic, then a more meaningful topic, etc). When one person in the conversation discloses information about themselves that is personal, this makes the other person feel more comfortable in disclosing something personal about themselves, which encourages person 1 to continue disclose things that are increasingly personal, and that's how people go from strangers to friends. It seems that Improvement Pill's strategy is to fast-forward this natural process by disclosing something very personal from the get-go. Note that it doesn't necessarily have to be something social unacceptable, this strategy should still work if you disclose anything that is pretty personal. That said, the reason people don't usually do this is that disclosing personal things feels vulnerable, and most people don't want to put themselves out there like that without the build up in the conversation that I described earlier, that assures them that their partner will react favourably to their self-disclosure. Only very confident people who actually don't really care what people think would be able to do this, which probably isn't most of us.
@henrik1777 Жыл бұрын
you just saved me seven minutes of my valuable time thanks
@loveratatouilleАй бұрын
when people tell me things about them, i get annoyed. i am a stranger, i don’t care about you or your life
@monkiramАй бұрын
@@loveratatouille Those are probably people you're not trying to become friends with, which makes sense. You might feel differently in interactions with people you want to actually become closer with
@mellacorn70093 жыл бұрын
As a person who rarely opens up I find it annoying and even more hard to open up when people try to hard to get me to open up. Like even if I know they aren’t being harmful it’s still difficult.
@WeAreBlank183 жыл бұрын
I’ve been trying to become friends with people, and realised that the thought of too many ingenue friends is crowding and randomly useless. I realised what to talk about is what my passions are, because if it’s deemed as acceptable by at least one person, then I would feel a lot more comfortable than trying any small talk (as this video mentioned). It isn’t thanks to this video that I realised this, but it is thanks to this video that I feel more empowered with my ability to make rationalised decisions with no limits of ‘realism’.
@violetvettie45024 жыл бұрын
I just realized that I'm always the listener for my friends and I never open up to them cause I have trust issues and not act trust Them
@makvala76564 жыл бұрын
Same. Like this vid is about how to open up OTHERS but in my case, I'm the one that needs to open up, but idk how to do it, cuz sometimes i feel like my friends talk more than they want to listen, or maybe I'm the one that doesn't talk...idk😞
@brianna46573 жыл бұрын
Exactly! Most of my friends tend to open up and they tell me their problems, secrets and stuff. But now I'm realizing that I actually never opened up to any of them.
@elizabethz7808 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for this, I’ll try it and hope for the best. I rlly want people to open up to me, I want to be able to support my friends and let them know they can trust me
@wj33093 жыл бұрын
I’m the person WHO ain’t opening up to my friends, i feel like a bad friend BuT i just can’t do it 👁👄👁
@BeesOfInk3 жыл бұрын
It's better to open up. One way or another, the bottle of emotions will explode. I believe that maybe by taking small steps, you can fully open up.
@endlesssalt58873 жыл бұрын
You're gonna need to open up if you wanna maintain strong connections with your friends. Otherwise, your friends will eventually drift away.
@insecurebee3 жыл бұрын
@@endlesssalt5887 Thanks Sherlock, I haven't thought about that yet! I am so lucky to read your comment (:
@endlesssalt58873 жыл бұрын
@@insecurebee Lol why you gotta be rude about it tho.
@jgobea01883 жыл бұрын
What, how are they like actually your friends if you are not yourself my problem is that I don't use my filter with my friends but I do it with everyone else so I don't end up making new friends
@ewengalerne17543 жыл бұрын
That's exactly what I've been doing for years without even knowing it
@winterblue60352 жыл бұрын
This video made me realize why people open up to me. I actually do these things all the time without even realizing lol
@ShreeNation5 жыл бұрын
Hey there, just want to say thank you for all your work. These videos are sometimes the only things that keep me going in my solitary self-improvement work. :')
@himavan2215 жыл бұрын
Me too
@ShreeNation5 жыл бұрын
@@ImprovementPill i will :)
@vikashmourya89645 жыл бұрын
@@ShreeNation plz teach me English
@ShreeNation5 жыл бұрын
@@vikashmourya8964 lol I'm no tutor but I will try :D
@vikashmourya89645 жыл бұрын
Ok thanks.....how can i contact you
@coreartalex67085 жыл бұрын
2:21 My immediate question would be: Have you broke a toilet doing that?
@transkryption5 жыл бұрын
People break seats all the time doing this. Ive been in places that have to put signs up saying don't stand /squat with a diagram.
@kaliberaiz87035 жыл бұрын
I do that because I don't want to have cramming poop, that's lt
@zecolher43095 жыл бұрын
I broke the two toilets in my house, but is so much better to poop this way
@vKazak81655 жыл бұрын
I use the trash bin that's right next to the toilet
@corneliu88275 жыл бұрын
my first question is: has he broken his bones sitting like that? i mean, just a slip and-
@Oso-gr4kb3 жыл бұрын
This was in my recommended and I realized I've been doing this naturally for years
@alexale6655 жыл бұрын
I’m so glad you talked about when it’s okay to reduce your filter vs being filterless, because there are so many people I’ve talked to who don’t have filters and it produces a very negative effect on me and the people around them. So thank you for clarifying that difference so that everyone isn’t just running around without a filter haha 😆
@juni25835 жыл бұрын
Now I get why a lot of my high school friends told me secrets (not gossip, they liked to gossip about each other, I wasn't interested in tea) and one of my English institute friends came out of the closet to me in a party. I consider myself an introvert and can't go further than small talk without getting socially exhausted, but I guess the small interactions and me listening to others was all I needed to be trustworthy! I'm glad people can count on me when they need to get something out of their chest :)
@tilarmeister Жыл бұрын
GREAT POINT ABOUT THE "VALUE" THING.
@transcendinghealth89375 жыл бұрын
It’s gold improvement pill. Your content is gold!!👍
@Matt_Ake4 жыл бұрын
What's interesting is, instead of just learning, this video rather reminded me of a few important things I used to do, and how I used to do it. Thanks Pill, I think I'm getting back chunks of an old me I left along the road haha.
@simonmills95542 жыл бұрын
This video just blew up my mind in so many different ways. I'm liking a girl on school, and even though I felt this kinda "opening" with her, I wanted her to feel the same. I never knew how to really talk to her, now for the first time I think I can, really appreciate man.
@syantuts5 жыл бұрын
Im gonna start doing this. It's scary but I want to change man.
@fleskimiso5 жыл бұрын
Start listening
@sideeffects46995 жыл бұрын
Can you update us on how it goes? (:
@origamiempress67744 жыл бұрын
Any updates yet?
@vegeta-773 жыл бұрын
Any update yet😐
@iliveinsideyourhouse39433 жыл бұрын
As someone who started doing this, nothing has really change, but hey, it takes time and we have to be consistent.
@akemidryzz93875 жыл бұрын
"people always tell me their deepest secret, even if we just met" "guys I poop in squat position, it rly cool"
@sovietmogus32633 жыл бұрын
🏆
@actualmusicfreak3 жыл бұрын
*Indian toilets intensifies*
@updated_autopsy_report3 жыл бұрын
this explains why I have friends. I’m the introvert whose majority of friendships are just extroverted people who did this and built a friend group on top of me while I wasn’t looking
@the_well-known_stranger22755 жыл бұрын
Wow... you literally just described my best friend perfectly. He seems to have no filter at times and has the most bubbly and enthusiastic personality of anyone I've ever met. He's also basically everyone's moral confidant, there are so many people who trust so deeply in him and share their problems with him it astonishes me. I've always wondered why? What draws people to trust in him so much and I've always wanted to be like him. I think I finally understand why.
@Brickinasock5 жыл бұрын
Squat On The Toilet Party 2020
@himavan2215 жыл бұрын
Brick 😂
@lauriss20055 жыл бұрын
Brick lmaooooo
@wokeupnew5 жыл бұрын
I’ll be there, written it on the calendar
@LaughableSynonyms5 жыл бұрын
Dates my man?
@snuffythefloof54485 жыл бұрын
WOO
@rooster40112 жыл бұрын
This made me realize why people open up to me all the time: I am insane and speak nonsense 90% of the time so of course people will think it's okay to tell me anything because I'm definitely not gonna judge them as I myself am the most judgeable.
@mahmoudhakem76425 жыл бұрын
"Not my friends my coworkers not even anyone" Posts it on youtube for the whole world to see
@rabin_75 жыл бұрын
Dude I also squat on the toilet seat Didn't know I was doing the right thing😂😂😂
@zzdesolatezz5 жыл бұрын
You didn't know, but it felt right didn't it? ...that question came off way weirder than I intended...
@rabin_75 жыл бұрын
@@zzdesolatezz lol😂
@KitKat-nu8dv5 жыл бұрын
I would like to see LoL
@Andrey01535 жыл бұрын
Same, it just feels more natural
@gilangmustafa8635 жыл бұрын
Try squats toilets then. A lot of seat-toilet is quite fragile for holding up adult human and will break eventually
@renzomarines7692 жыл бұрын
I'm 26 and only now I'm realizing all of this. Actually listening to people feels amazing.
@skyBlue_3605 жыл бұрын
Im really hoping we can see you bro. Ur awesome. Support from the Philippines 🇵🇭
@fleskimiso5 жыл бұрын
I do too. :)
@someguyonthenet21465 жыл бұрын
PATULI KA MUNA KUPAL!!
@skyBlue_3605 жыл бұрын
@@someguyonthenet2146 talaga? Dito kapa mag dudumi 😜
@vicentealagar5 жыл бұрын
Parehas tayo haha
@Sonajbanks5 жыл бұрын
Lez go pinas takteng comment yan
@rrilex125 жыл бұрын
I heard a scalpel works pretty well
@memistcentral20443 жыл бұрын
.
@tsu21553 жыл бұрын
Ah, yes.
@williewilson22503 жыл бұрын
Dude shotguns do it quick
@raviedavieu3 жыл бұрын
Hi Improvement Pill! I know you'll likely never see this comment among the many that you must get regularly, but it's been only one day and I feel like seeing this video made me change for the better (with a little extra help of mustering up confidence!) so I wanted to come back to this video and thank you very honestly. It was a small and simple tip, but by asking one assumption question I got an entire conversation out of it with my best friend just today - despite the fact I've hardly been able to make topics between the two of us, and that's been making me sad until about an hour ago. Genuinely thanks again, for sharing your effective advice with everyone who greatly needed it~ ❤️❤️
@stayap-ng4fj5 жыл бұрын
This is what i was thinking about just now, u reading my mind or smthing lol
@fleskimiso5 жыл бұрын
Funny, I got surprised by his upload.
@jiminiepaboo63485 жыл бұрын
Same same
@Weavingtones5 жыл бұрын
It’s called synchronicity, nothing is a coincidence.
@heyhey33295 жыл бұрын
Same
@DannieWiz3 жыл бұрын
The dude who told him bout his fiance watching this: 😳
@o.kavurko8599 Жыл бұрын
I met situations when people opened up on very early stages of conversations and they started to avoid me after. I knew I didn’t make them feel judged or something but the fact that I knew them from the hidden side made them feel scared of me in some way. I know their deepest secrets and therefore I have a power over them
@tallestmanever49633 жыл бұрын
I love your art style, it’s so soothing for me.
@joshuaancheta31204 жыл бұрын
5:55 is conversational threading. I love how coherent you are in your videos dude!
@luckyboi54273 жыл бұрын
This guy just told how I know everything about everyone
@allisonp14384 жыл бұрын
I know this will work :) when I come back to school. I'll try to open up with my thoughts and see how it goes. Im always scared of people judging me and all that but this time I'm gonna try to be a social person. Im always shy because of it thank you :) ♥️
@popsicIes Жыл бұрын
How'd it go?
@sophiaaria Жыл бұрын
did it work
@ceewe9885 жыл бұрын
DUDE I HAVE THIS GUY I WANNA GET TO KNOW BUT WE’RE BOTH SO AWKWARD AND SHY, HOW DID KZbin KNOW THIS- Edit: We’ve been dating for over a year now
@l0613r3 жыл бұрын
LOL i'm in the same situation
@ceewe9883 жыл бұрын
@@l0613r bro, he’s my boyfriend now
@tareqdarwish36293 жыл бұрын
@@ceewe988 I don't know why I feel so proud although I don't even know you. Nice going stranger ✊🏻👍🏻
@ceewe9883 жыл бұрын
@@tareqdarwish3629 thank you very much stranger, 8 months into the relationship and its going great! Have a nice day!
@tareqdarwish36293 жыл бұрын
@@ceewe988 keep it up and going weeb person🙌🏻🙌🏻 all power to you
@eminkilicaslan8945 Жыл бұрын
That reducing filter thing, you mentioned it in another video about how to use is get rid of awkward silences, and I have been using it ever since and it does really help the conversation to flow, all thanks to you.
@nilstu5 жыл бұрын
Being an ENTP I always share my deepest thoughts with a new acquaintance.
@nilstu4 жыл бұрын
Or maybe I'm just socially disturbed
@gingi84663 жыл бұрын
I like how this guy can easily be a mastermind and exploit everyone because he’s basically dug into their brain
@LowResFrog Жыл бұрын
Omg I've been doing these things for a while & I didn't know how exactly i improveed myself & it's so nice to see it being talked about and put into actual words
@nishatlala39905 жыл бұрын
I wanted to use this video to try and make friends in school. Then he said the “increase your value” part.....yeah I have 0 value at school
@Kayla-uu7nq5 жыл бұрын
NISHAT lala same..
@randomcompilation48743 жыл бұрын
Pressence, be close and friendly to people and worrying about your physic appearance, like hygiene and dressing well, is the key, because this means that you care about you. It matters a lot for people, and I know it because I was like... The nerd girl of the school that didn't love herself and was always sad because her classmates told her that she was ugly and stupid, but guess what, when I got into college everyone wanted to be my friend, this happened because I actually change my way of thinking and seeing myself, now I love myself more than ever, I take care of my skin, because I used to have acne and thick undefined eyebrows, I also take care of my body, trying to work out at least at home and I am healing my mental health, by reading, meditating and socializing, to the point that everyone I am friends with, told me their secrets or confidential information that nobody knows. If I did it this means that you can too
@justinehercthehuman Жыл бұрын
When I was in the closet, I came out to someone who I thought was also in the closet. After I came out to him, he also came out to me. Got an immediate friend right there.
@josephestridge344 Жыл бұрын
DUDE! This worked immediately for me. I talked with strangers and people that I know and I was able to connect emotionally with everyone! Thanks so much! It changed my life!
@manishparmar1672 Жыл бұрын
Seriously 😮 or sarcasm 😂
@manumm88023 жыл бұрын
my youtube feed always knows what i need 😭👌
@sirloppythe3rd2 жыл бұрын
I have a friend named Ivan. And if I'm honest he's someone I can actually trust cause he knows how my brain works. He took the time to get to know me and now he's a friend I consider keeping for along time.
@sashimichi5 жыл бұрын
In my own experience, people usually open up when they encounter something familiar/similar (situation) with you. Wherein this similar thing is something special, or too personal for them. You'll see, give it a try. Just don't break a trust. ☺️
@antons72103 жыл бұрын
While I do believe you can get better at it. Some personalities just has this naturally. I'm an INFJ, so I absolutely hate small talk. I want to talk about deeper things. And that's really the thing, If you talk about deep things, people will eventually realize that you're the kind of person they can open up to.
@konradlinde Жыл бұрын
Thanks for posting this. Now I know what to look for when talking to people so I'm not tricked into talking too much.
@bennyblubman94762 жыл бұрын
3:35 Needing social value to say weird things makes so much sense. I don't really care about my looks but if I was looking bad for too long I felt like I needed to act less stupid and have more of a filter. Turns out I was right. I don't have mutton chops anymore so goodbye filter
@olivia97705 жыл бұрын
2:38 no, let's talk about that instead
@uilliamunknown48443 жыл бұрын
Oooh 😯 that’s why people used to open up to me all the time when I was younger. I had no filter and was naturally empathetic. Damn I have to get back there.
@unlimitlesspower63402 жыл бұрын
Y'know, this was my problem. I used to open up to people too quickly and every time people thought I was strange and didn't want to talk to me. Eventually, I learned to ghost the people who tolerated me because I felt I was annoying them. I haven't had a friend 3 years since
@mightytgaming35 жыл бұрын
That was the shortest 7 minutes of my life
@iloverobbie90423 ай бұрын
For social value, you are valuable enough and never take anything too personally ❤
@marr.kuaria2 жыл бұрын
this reminds me of the time I was at a new job at a day camp and me and my new coworker weren't really on a talking basis, I asked her if she wanted to see a magic trick then proceeded to do it horrendously wrong 💀... that was my first interaction with her but we ended up best work friends INSTANTLY lmao