How To Get Through a Quarter Life Crisis

Welcome back to another Coffee Talk. Today's discussion is about going through a quarter life crisis and how to survive it ☕️
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All Things Koze Blog & Shop ▹ allthingskoze.com/
All Things Koze Instagram ▹ / allthingskoze
Koze Flow Instagram ▹ / kozeflow
Kalyn's Instagram ▹ / kalynnicholson13
Coffee Talk Chapters ☕️
00:00 - Welcome ✨
01:02 - What is a quarter life crisis?
04:55 - Symptoms of a quarter life crisis
07:21 - What causes a quarter life crisis
12:42 - Support from Wireframe
14:00 - Rock bottom and the aftermath
18:25 - Courage to change and a new life
22:15 - Tips for getting through the phases of a life crisis
29:10 - Final thoughts
Resources:
www.theguardian.com/society/2...
www.forbes.com/sites/julessch...
Kalyn's Books:
Catcher [dystopian fiction] ▹ www.amazon.com/dp/B07G7QSGM2/...
Dancing With Elephants [poetry] ▹ www.amazon.com/dp/1999415132/...
FEELS [self-development] ▹ www.amazon.com/dp/1999415124/...
Disclaimer: I am not a mental health specialist, just a Canadian gal with an old soul who likes to crack the ice on deep conversations that can foster personal growth and positive change.
❤ This Coffee Talk is sponsored by Wire Frame -- check out their podcast here: open.spotify.com/show/5ykZ7DG... ❤
Stay Koze-y

[@cathyl3526]

I'm 60 now and I will never forget how tough the 20s are. I'm glad you're talking about this because I feel like no one does. You feel like everyone's got it together but you. Every decision you make seems life-changing, and you're afraid if you make the wrong one you're screwed for life.

[@L.O.V.E.CaratStay]

This is literally exactly how I feel and I'm just so glad to know it's normal. 😅

[@MariJadeWrites]

Hi, I am 25 years old now and I experienced uncertainty and anxiety about the future. I will be giving university a try again starting tomorrow 😃 hopefully it'll be an enjoyable path for me ☺️

[@rachaelcarpenter5458]

I’m 22 and the way you described “knowing you need change but feeling like you can’t change” REALLY hit home. That is exactly how I feel right now. I have so much change I need to make in my life. Change that I’ve tried to put into motion countless times. I don’t trust myself and I have no confidence whatsoever. Thank you so much for this video, it gave me that little spark you described! I’m going to take the long weekend to rest and write down some small changes I can put into motion. Thank you thank you again! This video couldn’t have come at a more perfect time!

[@danniescream2859]

I'm 27 and I've just been feeling really depressed and worthless this year, like I fucked it all up. I'm struggling in so many ways and the worst part is I know everything is because of my choices. I even know I could change it now if I were mentally/emotionally stable but most days I just can't do the things and every day I can't pushes my goals and my confidence farther away. I'm always so angry with myself anymore and most days trying to fix it makes it worse, because it reminds me how bad I fucked up in the first place. I've been losing myself, and my muchness. I'm tired. This video is right, I want change but I don't know what to do. Everything costs money and energy I don't have. I just feel stuck and broken. This helps me feel a bit less angry today, though. The video, and all the comments. I guess it's just... Kind of nice to see that I'm not alone. So thanks. To Kalyn, and this whole community. I love you guys, and I appreciate you.

[@celestial_peace]

Hi, I am 30 and I can’t seem to feel okay or worthy in society anymore . It never feels like my time to shine and not feeling young anymore upsets me immensely like I’ve run out of time to get to know myself and I feel ashamed of where I’m at at this stage of life. I have so much anxiety about my future that I am breaking down every day. Nothing is sparking yet of where I should be. I feel bored, sad and unmotivated. I am looking forward to watching this coffee talk.

[@marthelea]

I thought my quarter life crises was back when I was 23 years old, but little did I know that that was just the first of many for me. I'm still in one currently at the age of 30 and I truly hope things will calm down after this one. So sick of going through one after the other, or just never seem to get there. I hope my midlife one comes late or not at all 😅

[@TheDreamscribbler]

I'm turning 30 this month (AH!) and I've been feeling very lost and stressed about everything lately. I really needed to hear this today.

[@bazmarto]

I am 27 and I think I am in the middle of phase 3; I am in nursing school and recently realized really hate it and the whole climate of the profession right now, so I applied to be a tour guide in Europe next summer 😅 getting ready to jump

[@KDKsDay]

I’m 23 feel like I’m 65 but I feel I am currently going through my quarter life crisis and I keep feeling like I’m struggling with everything and then a few weeks ago I stopped to reevaluate things and started seeing things differently and now I’m trying to change not for my family or my friends but for myself and Kalyn is actually a small part of that I started listening to more coffee talks and watching old videos again and watching other KZbinrs thank you Kalyn your amazing and you don’t know how much you’ve helped not only me but so many other people you make a difference 🙌🏼

[@L.O.V.E.CaratStay]

5 minutes in and I'm already about to cry because I feel so seen. At least I know I'm not alone. ♥

[@maddiekaetterhenry6373]

I sought out this video because I’m just struggling so much lately. I feel like I accomplished so many things so young that now I’m struggling to find purpose. I got engaged at 18, married at 20, had my baby and graduated college the month after I turned 23. Now I’m struggling to pass my state board exam, living with my dad at his house, and longing for my own space for my husband and our little family. I feel like by the time we can afford to buy a house of our own, we’ll be too old to enjoy it the way we could now. I feel so unworthy and stupid and inadequate because I failed my state boards the first time and got demoted in pay at work making us struggle financially too. I just feel like everything sucks. I appreciate this video because I feel so seen. Thank you❤

[@screen7136]

The cycle of 7s is very important in nature and life. Between 14-21, 21-28 and 28-35 people have major choices between family and finances. I would say fitness, family and finances is the most streamline.

[@gioia7720]

I can't express how grateful I am for this video

[@shanaesmith112]

I've been here since at least 2018 when I was 27. Im 31 and I'm definitely still self sabotaging and codependent. You're right about distraction extending the time. I have my first therapy session on the 6th of september.

[@mollykate1648]

This coffee talk couldn’t have come in better timing (although it feels that way with so many of your videos)! I just passed all of my professional exams for my career and put in my two weeks notice at a competitive job in my industry. I’m grateful I have another job lined up which I feel better aligns with my values and I’m excited to start it but still feel like something is missing. Going to take your advice to disconnect and reflect and see if there’s a spark ✨ thank you

[@ginamencarelli8324]

When I saw the title of this video my jaw dropped and I was filled with warm fuzzies because I NEEDED THIS. With so many transitions happening right now, validation and recognition that this is a thing was a good way to start my day. Thank you.

[@gaildurocher6553]

Quarter life crisis sounds alot like midlife crisis...I'll be 50 in a week and yet everything you described sounds like me.ive been doing alot of meditation and a LOT of self care. I have been in hibernation mode and really setting hardcore boundaries with everyone and everything. I have been laser focused on my art. Nature walks really help.

[@kristinabandelman7969]

Before this video I didn’t even think that what I’m going through rn is a quarter life crisis, it all makes sense now! Turning 24 in a few weeks and feeling sooo anxious 😮‍💨

[@Itzhannahmac]

This is everything.

[@nakolle4289]

I'm 36 with 3 sons ages 12, 16 & 18. The last year or so has felt so uncertain and scary. Being a mom has been my main purpose for over 18 years, my entire adult life, and I don't know what my future is going to look like now that they don't need me as much and I don't know what my purpose will be as they start to embark on their own journeys apart from me. My career has lost all joy for me and I keep thinking of starting something new but I feel like there's a dense fog covering my life and I can't see past the near future.

[@ashleyejnik2091]

I’ve been watching you since like… gosh 2016? And I can’t even begin to explain how happy and grateful I am to have “reconnected” with your videos again in the fast paced world of social media/ TikTok. A good old fashioned KZbin video with a favorite KZbinr just feels like home. So thank you!!!

[@forlifeandoceans]

why do my entire 20-s feel like one big crises?😂

[@maddssilva1583]

mine too!

[@samkcatladyaks]

I’m 13 mins in thinking wow, this happened when I was 21-24 (2011-14) and it’s happening again 2017-hopefully on the upswing this year...I think I am getting to where I can notice some changes finally happening and new ideas popping up. This is giving me a lot of hope and making me feel way less alone. Thank you. I had no idea how much I needed to hear you say all this.

[@avalonrhys]

I'm turning 24 tomorrow and I'm freaking out so badly, I needed this

[@yzma6142]

It’s crazy how much our crises are connected to capitalism 😪

[@mirilendvay9979]

I am struggling because I feel so worthless and anxious due to this cruel world with permanent competiting and my many decisions. Your video and your community helped me a bit less depressed.❤ Thank you!❤

[@jessselene]

Yes I was not prepared for my quarter life crisis. I think it’s a good sign to reevaluate my existence and life choices. Comparison is the thief of joy.

[@ikigai_ingbymanjima8999]

This coffee talk came at the perfect time! Thanks 🙏🙇

[@CherryBerryFashion]

Thank GOD for this video! Now I don’t feel alone and got to know a few tips to deal with it I am barely 23 and going through a spiritual and thus a bit of a life crisis right now. It’s tough as I feel confused, disoriented and lost and thus uncertain about my life

[@stephaniemoraldo5729]

Thank you Kalyn for the content you put out. What you say and how you say it really resonate with me and comforts me. I m 35 and even though you are younger than me, you have so much wisdom and knowledge. I learn so much from you! I am not very close to my mother and I have always desperatly needed a mother figure . You are it to me. All the things I wish my mother would have told me in all stages of my life to guide me through life,you say it. Thank you thank you thank you!

[@chrissyhammerbeck4133]

Yep. I have a degree and I work retail.

[@user-gd5nm5kr8b]

For some reason this episode was thrown my way right now. Thank you very much, it helped a lot 😊

[@m_turbolover8]

Same

[@m_turbolover8]

Yes, humbly I think the title could also be ' _for any kind of crises_ ' . The last part was a strong one, thank y'all.

[@CatzMarina]

I loved this episode. I’m actually gonna watch it again as I was doing other stuff while listening to it, take some notes and probably take a break from social media. I’m feeling hopeful ☺️ thank you!

[@megolson9888]

I have had this shot into my face so many times... and it's all come in from chatter I've heard from my family. TLDR: there are a few people in my space that feel I've failed so hard because I went to school instead of got a job, I DON"T have a car or the kids... I'm into my mid-thirties and it feels like I'm recovering from the crisis just now. Thank you so much for sharing this and for those of you experiencing this, I feel you. Stay strong and you'll get there.

[@CharliSwae]

Today is my birthday, I just turned 30 and this hit differently. I have been feeling this for the last year. I'm a SHM and have been for the last 9 years and it's fulfilling but I have definitely been feeling like I missed out on experiences and things that I would have like to have done or the immense urge to experience things I never got to. For the last several year I have wanted to wanted something more and different for myself. I now have a 3 year old and I'm trying to discover what it is I want to do or try in my life. Thank you for this. I have had so much anxiety about it. If feels nice to know I'm not alone. Much love❤️

[@lynnchoiniere726]

THIS is exactly what I've needed, I think I'm getting on the end side of the quarter life crisis of not knowing what I'm doing with my life, but I think I'm starting to figure out at least the next few steps and this video speaks volumes

[@JroqFord]

Hi I just turned 25 and having been going THROUGH it. I even even had a brief pre quarter life crisis that spilled over lol. Love that for me

[@mickeydunford4120]

Really needed to hear this today. Brilliant words. Thank you!

[@KaatThijs]

Thank you for this 🧡

[@4hotpink10]

I went through one last year when I turned 25. Not even 2 weeks after my 26th birthday last week I feel like life is finally falling into place, it all just takes time and in the waiting I just have to trust that I'm on the right path

[@goldenforhours]

Omg I wish I had this vid 2 years ago during my QLC! Well said. It’s hard to believe but yes you’ll look back one day and appreciate those times💖 also yay for the brain fully forming at 26 lol I swear I felt different and way more grounded since turning that age!

[@jenice7592]

I’ve been playing your video about feeling disconnected from your spirit and now I am watching this(can you tell I’m going through it) and I can see you are holding the same mug! Very cute

[@earthfa333]

Thank you. This was incredibly helpful and validating to hear...

[@ericaamezquita6038]

Needed this, thank you

[@kazg9119]

Thank you Kalyn I really needed this 🥺

[@Dirksmom]

Thank you so much for sharing this 💜

[@Findyourwaytoday]

Explained so well!!! So curious if you have had the baby yet!!! Sending so much light and love your way!!!!

[@ambertyshia4012]

Thank you 🙏🏾

[@cassandramichellecoaching]

ugh my god i can’t believe how relatable this was. i would say my quarter life crisis was 2020-2021 after i didn’t get into a school i was 100% set on going to for my doctorate degree. now i feel like that was because that path wasn’t meant for me. but damn i also really turned to weed and i feel like i spent the whole pandemic high

[@lilJGem]

Definitely relate to the canna is portion!

[@loveablebunny0162]

I’m 21 and recently a new mom dealing with ppd. I swear I feel like everyone I went to school with has it together and I’m just behind. I’ve been struggling so much with being happy since graduating high school. That was three years ago..

[@serene_today]

heya, thanks for sharing your story!!! beautiful video :)

[@EETSTHECREATOR]

Being 29-30 in 2023 is so weird. Like think about this, we grew up at the same time as iphone and bebo>facebook. I can search my name on facebook, hit the post search tab and then BOOM, 15 years of videos 🤯 PS I totally tried the weed option, it was amazing for about 1 week 😅 wouldn’t recommend for the long run

[@K3153YKane]

LOL I had a huge one when I was 25 and I think I might be on my way to a second one at 30.

[@K3153YKane]

Adulting: How to Become a Grown-up in 535 Easy(ish) Steps The book that helped me through my first quarter life crisis. Going to the library soon to find the new one.

[@chrisoulalakkas7935]

Trust takes a lifetime to build and a moment to destroy.

[@Moonlightlady05]

Hi! I'm 24 and I am currently trying to figure out where to go with my life. I worked towards fulfilling my career goals but I don't know if it's the right thing for me to do anymore, but neither do I know what else to do. I feel a giant urge to just move somewhere else or travel for a while but feel so stuck in my old habits. Don't know if this is a way of escaping or a way of figuring out a new way of life. Kind of torn, but kind of so driven. Weird times, has anyone thoughts about this? Would be happy to chat. xo

[@ScarlettMoon2]

I didn't know what I was dealing with for a few years till this video. Any journal prompts to help with each phase

[@dennettmolly]

I’m currently 31 years old. I’ve gone through trade schools and I have a lot of experience because of that. But I don’t necessary have a career. I still have no idea what I want to do but I defiantly want to help people but to put that in one degree or one career is impossible.

[@TINA7HEAVEN]

💜

[@manonvo8615]

I've studied communication and been working for about 1,5years. Been fired twice for budgetcuts.. now looking for a new job again... but I don't really like this work or it takes me so much effort to remember what I do like about it🤔 my little quarterlife crisis fantasy is 'just' becoming a hairdresser. But how do I know that I will actually like whatever else I might want to do? Also how do I become less of a bitter single? I'm so bitter. I don't like being single anymore.

[@chrissyhammerbeck4133]

I hit a midlife crisis right when I hit 40. I ended up buying a car. I wish I saw this sooner!

[@ShornayRules69]

Hi, i am 25, got my dream job a couple of months ago. lost it after 6 weeks. man.

[@tayhoops]

As you’re talking I’m realizing I just settled into stage 4 of my quarter life crisis. I just turned 27 in July and a couple months before that I just kept having this feeling that the life I’ve known for the past 6 years just isn’t fitting with me anymore. I finally got the courage to leave the abusive relationship I was in and these days I’m finding myself in a completely different life, I’ve met my soulmate……everything I’ve ever wished for, I am currently living. A healthy love, time with family & friends, people around me who love me! It was very uncomfortable at times but like you said you just keep pushing through and you make it🙏🏼 I’m so grateful for it all and so happy you’re here to have this chat with us! Sending love to everyone especially ones going through these weird times🤍 We can do this!🙏🏼🤍

[@mmaehw1]

Everyone look up your Saturn Return. Do it.

[@screen7136]

Most millenials just need to fundraise for a basic car and house and or to eliminate a chunk of debt while vanning and traveling and working remotely for 2yrs. Keep it simple. Then get back on the career conveyerbelt if you want after a big travel hietuss for a second level car or home.

[@tickedoffnow]

being human sucks lol

[@JoJo-vz5uy]

Weed is everything, the perfect escape. 😍

[@Erika-pq7ip]

Bye cause I'm 19 and kinda feel like this

[@neidaesquivel9048]

The purple mug🫢😍😍 where can I get it???