How To Get What You Want Every Time: ex FBI agent Chris Voss

[@littlebitbetter7]

👉📕 Buy the book here: amzn.to/3uMzEK1

[@leonides4377]

No

[@mohammadusman5439]

Your Channel deserves a sub :)

[@FriedChicken640]

no

[@alexhardao2742]

channel stealing your content? kzbin.info/www/bejne/i4C2n2pspJarpbM

[@maryblessing2205]

@@FriedChicken640Ha ! Ha !

[@sanjayvermas]

"Negotiation is about finding a third way that makes both sides happy" It's Win-Win condition 🙂

[@Olchann]

Not always, sometimes one person is right and you have to accept it, you can't tell 2+2 isn't 4, it's not possible and you should stop making own teories if someone is right. Many people especially from us (like karens) can't accept the truth.

[@coolwolf506]

Wellllll its mostly making the other person THINK that its gonna be a win win when in reality its a huge win for you and a rather small win for the other person

[@MrLachek]

"Discusion is not a battle" "Your opponent"

[@gravity00x]

guy contradicts himself in everything that he says, throughout the entire video.

[@nightharvester6567]

​@@gravity00x "guy"

[@ThatRedRadar]

@@nightharvester6567lmaoo

[@ostrunbruno]

😂

[@Salman-m1j]

Even though it's not a battle, anybody can be an opponent when trying to put your way on the table and win. You have to understand that in negotiation, you are trying to make the other person understand why your way is better for both of you while also grasping their way to come out with a satisfactory answer and solution to the reason of negotiation.

[@johnnysinger3353]

Find a partner who doesn’t tell you which color shoes to wear.

[@Letssavethecountry]

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@davidkamaunu7887]

Especially if they are good with oral, funny and decent cook.

[@FehmeedaSyeda]

😂

[@peacesupreme]

You just saved us thousands on counseling and self help books. #thankful

[@krokola2001]

the third option

[@ambition112]

0:26: 🤝 Negotiation expert Chris Voss challenges the idea of win-win outcomes in negotiations. 0:49: Voss's experience as a hostage negotiator has taught him that negotiation principles apply to various situations. 1:02: The fundamentals of negotiation remain the same regardless of age, gender, or ethnicity. 3:32: ✨ Smiling, mirroring, and tactical empathy are effective tactics for communication. 3:55: Mirroring the last critical words of the opponent helps extract more information. 4:42: Tactical empathy involves understanding the feelings and mindset of the other person. 7:08: 🔑 Defusing negative emotions helps improve negotiation results. 7:25: Starting with a 'no' is the beginning of negotiation, not the end. Recap by Tammy AI

[@bigdbeats324]

God bless u

[@trivasgreen1411]

Nice got. You just made the video more meaningful. Thumbs up 👍

[@cutechiangels]

Thanks for the recap. 👍 Could you enlighten me about the Tammy AI, please? 🙂

[@MAYAMedia479]

@@cutechiangels perhaps have Tammy AI recap Tammy AI

[@LuckyvillageLife]

Zehahahahaha kurohige yonkou

[@shaggybg]

Wow, fascinating! I was a bit sceptical due to the title of the video, but the lessons are top notch! 1. Understand first -> this means: listen. Rather than trying to react/answer, just listen. 2. Negotiation is not a battle -> it is not about getting what I want, or what you want, but rather finding a third thing and getting it. The example with splitting the chocolate between 2 children is amazing - let one child split it and the other one pick first. I remember now we did this with my cousin or my sister when we were children. :D It gave some strange power and felt reasonable and fair. Also, mirroring it important - repeat key words (e.g. in a question, addressing them), pause for 4 seconds and let the mirroring do its job. 3. Tactical empathy + defusing negatives -> both rely on labelling. Label what I observe/heard/saw/heard/understood... 4. Start with "No" -> that's right. I noticed that when I said "yes" right away, I felt trapped, without control. Of course I could change it (some people do when they realize what they agreed to), but then I would not behave like the person I want to. Saying "no", however, gives more power. Changing the "no" to "yes" later would be a great gift for the other side. But if I cannot change it, I'll stick to the "no" and wouldn't be forced to do something I did not think through. 5. "That's right" -> I knew about this from a course. I think it was given as an example exactly from Chris Voss' book "Never split the difference - negotiate as if your life depends on it". "That's right" is different than "you're right". Why? Think about it - it is easy to grasp. :D

[@ornitorenkperisi]

Thanks for summarising it ❤

[@NiTeLightYears]

I sometimes use “You’re right” when agreeing with someone’s point, I also use “That’s right” for the same thing then giving reasons why they are not entirely right after it

[@adigunaishat9686]

It is very selfless and thoughtful of you to have summarized. Thanks a lot

[@kai6424]

Since this video I get all my coke from my dealer at half off. Thank you FBI. I just make sure I do a line before I go to meet up so I am happier which makes me 30 percent smarter. This is amazing.

[@Just_In_credible6]

#winning

[@jpnese1796]

The question though was the product quality the same

[@davidkamaunu7887]

Kinda like the wisdom of eating before going to buy groceries. 😅

[@jasonabernathy76]

I did a line while reading this but coke h a s lost it's MOJO in the past 9 months or so, maybe even longer.so... instead of coke, I am a huge supporter of moun-tan-dooo! Ya know what I'm talking bout..;] I get jakked up! I much happier and focused like a MF'er but I am about 30% dumber so the trade off is not as great....

[@Financial-Education101]

I'm genuinely rethinking every conversation I've ever had! The distinction between "that's right" and "you're right" is such a subtle yet powerful insight. And the whole concept of starting with "no" instead of pushing for a "yes"? Mind-blowing! I've always thought of negotiation as a tug-of-war, but this video paints it more as a dance of understanding and empathy. Definitely going to be more mindful in my next negotiation. Thanks for these game-changing insights!

[@Random_user_8472]

Negotiation means that (at least) two parties have something to offer to each other, both knowing the value of what they have to offer. If not, it's not negotiation, but one party wanting something from the other for the lowest price possible. You really think that you're negotiating about your salary with a new employer? Hell no, the position between an employer and an employee is not balanced: He knows you need the job and uses that knowledge to reduce your price. Things as 'that's right' and 'you're right' are used to take you into a yes-flow. When someone has you in a yes-flow it's nearly impossible to escape from that (you basically already agreed on everything being said to you). Try 'I understand what you're saying' instead, that always gives you the option to disagree without being contradictive: 'I understand what you say, I simply don't agree with it'. Never explain why you don't agree, it's a trap. Someone just tried to convince you of his opinion, you don't agree with it and suddenly they're interested in your opinion? That's suspicious, don't give that opening: You have the right to not to express your opinion.

[@chidiutoraphael6059]

@@Random_user_8472 what about in a situation where you cannot just avoid expressing your opinion as you’ve understood and disagreed with there’s? I feel you must have to give reasons for contradicting otherwise you won’t be agreed with

[@Random_user_8472]

@@chidiutoraphael6059Why would you want people to agree with you in the first place? Because they want you to agree with them? You always can avoid expressing your opinion, even if people ask for it: I have the right to express my opinion and with that I also have the right to not to express my opinion. Freedom of speech is a right, I can decide not to use that right at certain moments and that will be my decision only (unless I'm being tortured, I too have my boundaries lol).

[@Santor-]

​​​@@Random_user_8472If you negotiate a new car price, and they tell you to get the F out, but sell it to you, and leave the room without saying thanks for the transaction, you have gotten the best deal you could possibly get. Just say No to everything. No paint protection, no warranty upgrade, no paying for the engraved numbers on the windows, nothing. In fact, you should state they should have paid YOU for destroying and scribbling on your windows. Then, when they go through their rehearsed sales pitch, look at the pictures on the walls, your phone, yawn, whatever. Then ask, "are you done?" If the sales person confirms, you say" No to all of that, I'm not paying for anything extra". They might try the rehearsed so each again, just stick to the same "No...". Eventually they will start considering giving up. That's when you say " There is many dealers selling this exact same car..., do you want to sell it to me at NET cost without any extras or not?" And of course, make sure you get all the rebates, no trade of rebates vs better financing rate, or any if that B's. Simply say "I won't accept a financing rate any higher than 5%, now are you going to sell the car to me or not?" They will, as it will still add to their monthly number, so eventually, they will give up. If you want to yank their chain a little extra, ask "how much is the monthly check you are sending me for driving around with these advertisement licence plate frames of yours?" "Oh, nothing is it?" Ok please have them removed before delivery, or I will considering it vandalizing of my property, and I will press charges accordingly."

[@Random_user_8472]

@@Santor- You're a tough cookie haha I'm glad that I'm not a car salesman trying to sell you a car 😂

[@MJ98.]

🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:00 🤝 *Negotiation Approach* - Negotiation isn't about win-win; it's finding a third way. - Chris Voss believes negotiation applies universally, from terrorists to everyday life. - Finding a solution where both sides are content is key. 01:51 🎯 *Lesson 1: Understanding First* - Listening intensely showcases empathy and a desire for understanding. - Failure to listen hampers negotiation success. - People seek understanding, respect, and then fulfillment of their desires in negotiations. 03:10 🕵️ *Lesson 2: Negotiation as Discovery* - Negotiation isn't a battle but a process of discovery. - Smiling and mirroring aid in fostering positivity and extracting information. - Mirroring conversation prompts opponents to reveal more details. 04:46 🤲 *Lesson 3: Tactical Empathy* - Understanding opponents' emotions and labeling them strengthens bonds. - Diffusing negatives with labels helps shift focus from complaints to solutions. - Empathy collaborates two minds to solve problems effectively. 07:34 🚫 *Lesson 4: Starting with "No"* - Initiating with a "No" grants control and focuses on implementation. - "No" avoids feeling trapped or committed, allowing clearer thinking. - It leads opponents to volunteer information without direct probing. 08:55 💡 *Lesson 5: "That's Right"* - "That's right" signifies complete understanding and near deal closure. - It amplifies empathy and indicates key agreement points. - Distinguish between "That's right" and "You're right" for negotiation success. Made with HARPA AI

[@tomsmith6797]

It’s wrong to fight for what you want in negotiations. I believe everyone should win. I’m a business owner and hate it when someone tries to talk down my price especially after the projects is complete. In fact after the miserable experience of trying to get them to pay me I refuse to do business with them again. I have plenty of great customers who treat me fairly and don’t need people who “try to get the best deal at my expense”

[@robertbaker6950]

I have learned over the years the people that try to get a better deal in the beginning are doing just that trying to get a better price. It’s the one that wait until you started the work or at the end are just trying to get out of paying you . They are like the people that eat there happy meal and then want there money back because it what they ordered. So when they act like that demand your money and show them the door.

[@dipsghosh09]

They should strike out the phrase “cheap and best” once and for all. If the commodity or service is great, the price should be proportionate and vice versa.

[@jf8188]

@@kai6424how do you even get that from what he said? Straight 🤡

[@helenalimo3133]

In fact, the best tactic would be to make them feel like they won, even though you got everything you wanted.

[@christophervan6966]

So, have the conversation ahead of time.

[@Kapitanijr]

Watching this video everyday for 2 weeks until i perfect the art of negotiating

[@brianolmos3775]

Same lol

[@St0nerJohnny]

How did it go? Because I told myself I would do the same lol

[@gillesvandycke2003]

Not even 4 min in and i quit. If you cant get basic percentages right, its not worth your time.

[@cardinale3946]

Better spend that time on reading a book that this is taken from lol, why would you watch same video everyday

[@unmanned_mission]

stop wasting your time, you better get a life

[@TomCRitucci]

Never split the difference is by far my favorite business book. It has done so much for my career, highly recommend reading it. Great job with the video!

[@Sumtik_77]

it's kinda crazy how nobody's talking about the forbidden psychology ebook called the manipulation enigma

[@minela227]

finnaly i listened myself about this and bought something online and I am satisfied

[@c0sm0gyral80]

@@minela227how is it?

[@Boaztsvieli]

Bot

[@yug5115]

😂 bot 😂

[@permethes3394]

Wow good book

[@sharifeady6834]

That chocolate example for kids is genius

[@stilettoswinger7404]

We used to do it with hash when i was a teen 😂

[@rednal4451]

We used to do it this way when we were kids. But after a short while, it's clear that the one who has to split the candy always has a disadvantage against the one who can pick the largest part. So after a while, the discussion just moved to: "You have to split it! No, you!" 🤣

[@howru33666]

@@rednal4451 In the timeless battle of candy splitting, it's glaringly evident that the one forced to divide it always finds themselves catastrophically disadvantaged compared to the victor who claims the colossal portion. 😂

[@prpa2628]

just eat the chocolate all happy ^^

[@zero-dv5cv]

not really, the one that splits it is at a disadvantage unless they develop a skill that is normally unrelated to compromising so it's better to guide their discussion and help them come to a decision with the potential consequence of neither of them getting chocolate if they're unable to decide on a solution

[@markrusso9235]

Truly convince someone you understand their struggle by validating their emotional response, as opposed to invalidating it.

[@SamSecTor]

The one thing that i discovered throughout my life is Be an observer Know how to manipulate in a positive way Appreciate people before you place your deal You will get what you want

[@rebeccabulyaba593]

❤

[@IAmSleepyAngle]

Thank you. As a landlord trying to raise rent for the single mother with 3 kids, this video was extremely helpful and came up at the perfect time.

[@Alien_isolationist]

This is a joke or you lost your soul?

[@ILoveTinfoilHats]

​@@Alien_isolationist it's real, I convinced him to increase it again last week because if she can afford 3 kids she can probably afford higher rent from all those child support payments. Hope this helps!

[@OmSingh-wp4xp]

The fact that nobody talks about the book whispers of manifestation on borlest speaks volumes about how people are stuck in a trance

[@luminousbug5585]

bru wht is this shit

[@anonymousmouse7161]

What does that book discuss?

[@ohiotattoo1]

I wish all you fools and not would knock it off. It's not a real book but just a hook

[@edwindxd8754]

isnt it a scam

[@stephengikungu8544]

The analogy of dividing a chocolate is awesome. Let one divide and the other pick. Surely this is not a win win but a third way of solving issues. I love it. Thanks. SG

[@dominikjirena6380]

There is another solution. Just eat the chocolate. The kids will be mad at you, but they shouldn't have argued over it

[@plantcraftie4141]

My dad always made us do this when we were kids!! Not ever were there disagreements after. At my moms house she didn't and we kept bickering.

[@Ohshirho]

One black shoe, one brown, obviously. Shows your ability to compromise, displays your awkwardly-funny side and gives you credit for future negotiations. In some cases may even lead you to an instant win.

[@MadonnaGrogan]

Go in flip flops😂

[@gentlecoder5167]

- Is it a bad time to talk for 5 minutes? - Yes - 😳

[@mak7str]

Then it's best time to hour speech! -alalalala problem problem problem...

[@Glocktologist]

If it’s a bad time for them to talk you don’t want them to do it anyway.

[@evocious9950]

"It's not a battle" she says as she continues to call the guy she is negotiating with an "opponent"

[@ErinJ.Thomas]

😂

[@momunyokol]

An opponent like in sports. But not an enemy like in war

[@zero-dv5cv]

i think it's because for the purpose of the video most of the examples used are of situations with clear contrasts in perspective, like being on opposite sides of a meeting to renegotiate after a bad dealing

[@Glocktologist]

@evocious9950 do you know the difference between an opponent and enemy? What would you use as a general term of the other side of a negotiation?

[@BariumCobaltNitrog3n]

In chess you play an opponent. In poker you have the dealer and your opponents. Someone who opposes you, the opposite side, is not the enemy. It could be your mom.

[@ahmedavdic4128]

- [00:00] 🤝 **Introduction to Chris Voss and Negotiation Basics** - Negotiation is finding a third way that satisfies both sides. - Chris Voss's experience as an FBI hostage negotiator is applicable to various life situations. - Life is negotiation; it's not about your way or my way but finding a third way. - [03:37] 🎧 **Lesson 1: The Power of Understanding** - Listening intensely demonstrates empathy and a desire to understand. - People want to be understood, respe wected, and then get what they want. - Failure to listen leads to misunderstandings and unsuccessful negotiations. - [06:52] 🕵‍♂ **Lesson 2: Negotiation as Discovery, Not Battle** - Negotiation is an act of discovery, understanding what the other side truly wants. - Tactics like smiling and mirroring can positively influence the negotiation. - Mirroring, repeating critical words, helps extract more information from the other party. - [09:45] 😌 **Lesson 3: Tactical Empathy** - Tactical empathy involves understanding the emotions behind the other person's perspective. - Labeling, summarizing emotions, strengthens the bond and understanding. - Diffusing negatives with labels helps address and overcome potential issues. - [13:32] 🚫 **Lesson 4: Start with No** - Starting with 'No' gives control, keeps you focused, and avoids unnecessary commitments. - Pushing hard for a 'Yes' can lead to distractions and a feeling of being trapped. - Saying 'No' initiates the negotiation process and maintains control. - [16:14] 🗣 **Lesson 5: The Power of "That's Right"** - "That's right" is a powerful phrase indicating complete understanding and agreement. - Repeating the other side's words reinforces empathy and accelerates the deal. - "You're right" signifies a failure, while "That's right" indicates successful understanding.

[@juanmontoya9]

I had Chris Voss come in as a guest speaker for my negotiations class last year in my masters program! Such an interesting lecture.

[@garrychua84]

I've seen many videos and this channel is simply best ever. Tonality, content, delivery, best

[@unknownbeast794]

this doesn't work on my asian mom, currently grounded now

[@anthronshuler3532]

😂😂😂😂

[@kadijasoumah4576]

😂😂😂, so is my African mom!

[@ricofarrari1346]

Yeah Asians are tough. My ex girlfriend couldn’t come outside on weekdays cause she had school. We were both 20. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@mestm5400]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@catalhuyuk7]

Apparently this information isn’t for women either. It’s a man’s world and they’re fucking it up supremely!!!

[@marcoglara2012]

“Negotiation is about finding a third way that makes both sides happy” That is 50/50. I feel like he does exactly what his book says he doesn’t, “split the difference”

[@Jeffiekins]

No, the best thing to do is figure out what each side really wants, not the same thing as what they're asking for. That's what mediators do. You can do it also if you're one of the parties. If one side is mostly concerned about money, and the other one is mostly concerned about time, or liability, or risk, then you have a way to make everyone happy, without splitting any differences: you just give each side what they want most, and they'll (usually) be willing to give the other side what _they_ want most. But if they're both mostly concerned about the same thing, then you have a problem.

[@johnjaffe6107]

@@Jeffiekins This comment is spot on. I do a lot of professional negotiating. In strategic business negotiations, the "listening" part should be focused on trying to find out what is REALLY most important to the "opponent". A lot of business negotiations do not start with the most important agenda item for a "win" from either side. "I want a better price" is not always the opponents most important agenda for instance. They may actually believe it is at first. Sometimes what they REALLY want is to be able to demonstrate that they effectively negotiated a better deal for their company. This opens up a lot of avenues not tied to your profit %. If I can give you more value for the money you are spending, or we can eliminate something from this scope to reduce the price, does that get you what you need to report to your company? Upgraded services, shorter timeline, 3 months free rent, extended warranty, less capital investment up front for a higher ongoing service contract rate, an extra QC guy on the site, etc. What can we do to make you look good for the metric that helps you and your company?

[@marcoglara2012]

@@Jeffiekins That’s exactly the point. If both sides could get everything they want, then they would not be talking In the first place? The reason they are even negotiating is clearly because their interests are in conflict. If they weren’t in conflict, they would NOT be negotiating. So…50/50.

[@taramaforhaikido7272]

​@lara2012 50/50 is "Half assing it". 100% both ways goes better.

[@Glocktologist]

Both sides being happy is not the same thing as a 50/50 split. If people were happy every time they get a 50/50 split they could solve all problems with a calculator or measuring tape. We don’t work that way. Also, it should be noted that Voss is talking about not splitting _the difference_ if something is left on the table.

[@Jay-g3h9v]

1. Listen 2. Understand 3. Let's find a way to co-exist in peace and avoid the game. Let's produce despite our differences.

[@audiopobaal]

I didn't know I was already doing these things during a conversation. Before I answer to a complex question, I would always want to get what they really mean and then summarizes it to them to confirm if I get it right and then I proceed to answer their question.

[@adarshds3]

You still did not answer on how to convince my partner that I will wear black shoes for the party?

[@jpnese1796]

My solution is to wear the black shoes and ignore what my partner says

[@bandulaamarawardena6576]

I will have to go shopping and miss the party. If the shops are closed, so much the better... Ha.. Haa..!!

[@carljeromeaquilos8725]

"Black shoes for the party?, But don't you think you'll look better with brown shoes? And it also matches your shirt, have you ever tried wearing your brown shoes with that shirt?" Is what your partner will say if she watched and learned from this video😂

[@曉p-p7t]

The solution is surprisingly simple. Go to shoes shop, pick a decent black shoes that's affordable, and another elegant brown shoes that's about 3x ~ 5x the price of black shoes. Ask her which one to buy. If she insisted the brown shoes, then fine. If she went with your black shoes idea, treat her to a better lunch.

[@Erikkurilla01]

The BIGGEST LIE You've Been Told About Money is that it doesn't grow on TREES!! 😆

[@Lemariecooper]

I agree with you!! Money actually grow on trees but only on trees that was planted by you!! These tress are referred to as investments. How you diversify your investment portfolio matters

[@jessicasquire]

Diversification is the key. My portfolio is well diversified with the help of a financial adviser. This helps me make more than +400% monthly on my investments.

[@tahirisaid2693]

I'm intrigued by this. I've searched for financial advisers online but it's kind of hard to get in touch with one. Okay if I ask you for a recommendation?

[@jessicasquire]

I've experimented with a few over the past years, but I've stuck with ‘’Angela Lynn Schilling” for about five years now, and her performance has been consistently impressive. She’s quite known in her field, look her up.

[@tahirisaid2693]

Wow, her track record looks really good from what I found online. I'll take a chance and see how it goes. Thanks for the info

[@virtual5754]

- Is it bad time to talk for 5 minutes? - Yes, you are distracting me, go away.

[@saibaldutta4523]

2:09 3:45 - Smile Il Mirroring!! - what did you mean by that -4:41 4:43 Tactical Empathy - 6:33 6:33

[@Davey148]

magic mirrors, predictable phones, drones, and clones should about sum it up ... are you picking up what i am setting down for you

[@jenniemurray6590]

That’s brilliant!! It’s not win win. It’s one win and the illusion of win.

[@anjenue4894]

I won’t hold my breath for the video on how to negotiate with a narcissist.

[@iulianwar3229]

Try this with any mom and you will beg for a 50 50

[@shyamsunder3358]

Not at all

[@themccullersgroupllc]

Infinite wellness and power be upon you ALL in this NOW experience! I will you ALL you continue to find passion in ALL that makes you feel GRAND, and we all continue to grow and improve every day in EVERY DAY!

[@BariumCobaltNitrog3n]

My brother and I had to do the chocolate method and you would not believe how precise a piece of cake could be divided. You're right is the kiss of death, a concession, it is the response to a technical nitpick that may be right but kills the deal. That's right is a response to a universal truth and a bonding moment.

[@Tothefutureand]

In business there is always a win-win scenario but not in hostage negotiations. Don’t negotiate like your life depends on it,Don’t

[@jonmello6951]

I always remember the Golden Rule, "those that have the Gold, make the Rules"

[@Phoenixfliesfar]

Just wow!

[@kimisawa2001]

How to Negotiate better 1. Understand 2. It's not a battle, it's a discovery 3. Empathize & deal with the emotions 4. Start with question to get the answer, "No" 5. Reaffirm with, "That's right" Thanks for sharing these tips! They're so useful in many daily situations.

[@atogweoghieaga2205]

Thanks Jake for all you do and your undying commitment to this cause, in an age where supporting the right thing or being politically correct is often the norm rather than the exception, you have remained resolute. Keep inspiring us, Surely, Russia will lose and sooner or later Putin the old man will meet his Waterloo! The economy will crater soon. Slava Ukraine

[@TheStoicGoldenRule]

0:26: Negotiation expert Chris Voss challenges the idea of win-win outcomes in negotiations. 0:49: Voss's experience as a hostage negotiator has taught him that negotiation principles apply to various situations. 1:02: The fundamentals of negotiation remain the same regardless of age, gender, or ethnicity. 3:32: Smiling, mirroring, and tactical empathy are effective tactics for communication. 3:55: Mirroring the last critical words of the opponent helps extract more information. 4:42: Tactical empathy involves understanding the feelings and mindset of the other person. 7:08: Defusing negative emotions helps improve negotiation results. 7:25: Starting with a 'no' is the beginning of negotiation, not the end. Recap by Tammy AI

[@lumoborteidoku]

You have done an incredibly great job here... and the timing for me to come across this video was uncanny (thanks KZbin algorithms 😊). It's helped me hone in on what I already do right without knowing it and what more I can do to get better results when having a sitdown with a formidable opponent. I'm going to immediately put what's here into practice. With this as the summary, I can only imagine the rare gems to be discovered in the book itself. Thanks once again

[@jacoblox3703]

Getting a divorce? Lol

[@EliPorterMahn]

I have a feeling you havent applied any of this in your life if you feel the need to convince a ton of strangers on the internet

[@coolhomerjack]

Ah yes, little did we know that communication is a skill that can actually be refined so that we can be better people to one another. Another subject that should be in education as far as I'm concerned.

[@TrueWassed]

6:51 "..and *you are* absolutely *right* to think in this way" 9:34 *"YOU ARE RIGHT"* it means you failed completely 🙂

[@LachsFloete]

Lesson 4 is like saying Sorry? (I did not hear that) as an answer, even though you completely understood. For me, sometimes this happens automatically if I need a moment to think about it.

[@tysamadic9715]

3:40 your math is wrong here. If your 31% smarter when happy, that means your 24% dumber when you’re not happy. 100 X 1.31 = 131% 131•/• 100 = 76.33% 100 - 76.33 = 23.67% round up to 24% Assuming 100% = brain power when you are happy, then you would have 76% brain power. If you remove 31% first. 31•/• 100 = 69% 100•/•69= 144.5% Then you are 45% (rounded up) smarter. The math is the same both ways. The % that needs to be removed is different after you add the first %. Or vice versa.

[@BariumCobaltNitrog3n]

wouldn't you be 69% dumber if unhappy?

[@vishwamani70]

Some people doens't even know about these things but still they are naturally masters un negotiation

[@djameledinekati8643]

Many thanks for this awesome video! As a former team leader I faced all those situations. It took me lot of time and bad experiences to understand what you gave us in 10 min!

[@MichaelNdichu-yp8vt]

Its the ending for me, I have found this to be very insightful.

[@FayaazKhan-hk7en]

Wow these videos are really well made! So much wisdom and valuable info. In these videos, its mind blowing! Smart💫💯😏

[@sarvajanhitaay]

7:59 you changed the question before the answer. If the question kept the same then it was difficult to start the answer with a 'No'.

[@williambernhart398]

I’ve read this book by Chris Voss and have studied his company, Black Swan teachings. This is an excellent synopsis of the book! Well done s always!!

[@_benon]

I'm so obsessed with your voice, keep up! love you so much ❤

[@ark333]

I read that book months ago, and it's very good. The book needs to be read several times to be understood and taking notes meanwhile to apply the tactics

[@claudiamanta1943]

0:07 Ditch her. She should not tell you what to wear. No negotiation needed.

[@JayTheStoic]

As the Stoics said: "Control what you can, accept what you cannot." - Focus on your actions and thoughts, but let go of the outcomes beyond your control.

[@sheikhmosasheiko7429]

I kinda naturally apply some stuff you just mentioned, and this video made me to decide to improve my skills, thanks for this wonderful video, keep up!!!

[@7osephThe6reat]

this is an amazing knowledge of body language 🤌🏽 I was gifted by GOD a very humble mentality where i can place myself in peoples situations/feelings and create a comfort when being opened up to because of how empathetic i am. Growing up with financially very little & for most of my life (currently 23) in a Christian household created that Humblity in me. I am very good with conversating because my mind on its own adjusts to body language and the emotion of it while analyzing the sound as well. When i watched this video i learned a lot which blows my mind how much more knowledge there is to be discovered! Great Video 🧠📜

[@michaelthemadsoldiertist]

Works in hostage negotiations not so much in a marriage. They notice eventually and feel manipulated

[@gteixeira]

Same in business negotiation. I catch it right away and sounds really annoying.

[@ChristinaLane-pe2hc]

Not if, "Say what you mean, and mean what you say". It's only disingenuous if you don't care.

[@michaelthemadsoldiertist]

@@ChristinaLane-pe2hc always be honest with your partner. About everything. Manipulation in a relationship is never ok.

[@ChristinaLane-pe2hc]

@@michaelthemadsoldiertist I agree, which is why I said to "Say what you mean" and "Mean what you say".

[@michaelthemadsoldiertist]

It’s all about whether you are in it for love and genuine companionship or control And materialist benefits

[@stievi_b2479]

I think what you have declared as 'win-win' at the beginning, is actually a compromise, which is indeed unsatisfying for both sides. Unfortunatly, the concept of win-win is often misunderstood. It does not mean at all to meet somewhere in the middle. It rather means what you have described. First, establishing a trustful bases, then analysing the true cause of the conflict, and finally finding together a solution that considers these causes and that is satisfying for both parties. In a word: win-win.

[@Glocktologist]

If it happens so that both parties win, it’s unavoidably a win-win situation. The point Voss makes in his own words is that people trying to frame their proposition as a win-win situation are probably trying to trick you somehow. Nothing wrong with win-win happening. Just be cautious when someone says it out loud. The same applies to honesty. If someone says they are, they probably aren’t.

[@BrodieMitch]

win wins obviously exist. If I do not want some old dishwasher but I have a friend who needs a dishwasher and takes it from me, both sides are in better positions than they were before and therefore a win win

[@Glocktologist]

There’s nothing wrong with a win-win taking place and it does happen. The way I’ve understood Voss’s point is that when someone tells you their idea is a win-win, they may be misleading you. If the proposition really was that great for you they wouldn’t have to say it unless they think you’re stupid. It’s the same thing with honesty: if someone says they are, they probably aren’t.

[@rifff5]

So much informative and useful video.

[@alishan8880]

It's also important to understand that sometimes it just won't work out the way you want it to no matter how good you are

[@MaitLember]

🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:00 🕵️ *Introduction to Chris Voss and Negotiation Basics* - Chris Voss, ex-FBI negotiator, challenges the concept of win-win in negotiations. - Negotiation is about finding a third way that satisfies both parties. - Overview of Chris Voss's experience as a hostage negotiator and its applicability to various life situations. 01:21 🎧 *Lesson 1: The Power of Listening in Negotiation* - Listening is crucial; people want to be understood and accepted. - Intense listening demonstrates empathy and builds rapport. - Failure to listen hinders negotiation success. 02:30 🔄 *Lesson 2: Negotiation as Discovery, Smiling, and Mirroring* - Negotiation is not a battle but a discovery of what the other side wants. - Smiling and mirroring are tactics to foster positivity and gather information. - Mirroring involves repeating critical words to elicit more information. 04:46 🤝 *Lesson 3: Tactical Empathy* - Tactical empathy involves understanding and addressing emotional obstacles. - Labeling emotions helps confirm understanding and strengthens the bond. - Diffusing negatives with labels is effective in handling anger and negative feelings. 06:51 🚫 *Lesson 4: Start with No in Negotiation* - Starting with "no" initiates negotiation and avoids feeling trapped. - Saying "no" gives control and helps focus on solutions without distractions. - Initiating with "no" often leads the other party to provide essential details willingly. 08:55 ✅ *Lesson 5: "That's Right" as a Powerful Negotiation Phrase* - "That's right" is a powerful indicator of understanding and agreement. - Repeating the opponent's words reinforces empathy and signals a near deal. - Be cautious with "you're right" as it may indicate dismissal or the end of the conversation. Made with HARPA AI

[@princessannesoriano4596]

That's right using this techniques on communicating really helps

[@shbmsrto]

Why refer to them as "opponent" if it's not a "battle"?

[@petersveter6925]

Because word “opponent” has more meaning and not only battle meaning. Dude use your brain 🤣🤣🤣

[@Glocktologist]

If it was a battle I’d say ”enemy”. In a negotiation, what would be a better term than opponent?

[@taramaforhaikido7272]

Communiucation first. Everything else second. I ask the hard questions.

[@enigmasloom4020]

1.7 mil views and only 48K tumbs up says enough for me about this video.

[@jl6086]

I like the thought being honest with integrity and be thoughtful of others

[@alexthomson7465]

I have a "friend' who cuts me short and changes the subject every time I speak,even to the point of me being mid sentence and them pointing at something and saying" look at that" and then talking about it. Needless to say I minimize my contact with them.

[@isauc3alot]

What you need is always more important than what you want but if you pay attention and be patient what you need might just be what you want

[@sayilibotha5857]

Valuable lesson... Thanks for this educative video. I can relate. 🇿🇲

[@medrict]

1) Understand first 2) negotiation is not a battle, It is a discovery ( smile to help with this OR mirroring, repeat the last 3 or most critical of what the opp has just said ( after mirroring stay quiet for 4s ) 3) Tactical empathy ( identify the emotional obstacles that are standing in the way of agreement THEN label it by summarizing what they have said back at them, FOR EG, it seems like, it sounds like ) (diffusing negatives with labels, think what they are feeling "Your company missed the deadline and did not deliver what was promised. Your client thinks that you are unreliable" for eg, "It might seem Ike we are screwing you and we are not capable of keeping our promises and deliver on what was agreed. And because of this, you might even consider not doing business with us anymore. And you are absolutely right to think n this way") making them feel like you think like them 4) Start with a no ( is it a bad time to talk for 5mins? VS can we talk for 5 mins? ) ( get them to say a NO then let them follow up ) 5) That is right ( take your opp word and repeat it back to them to get them to say that is right )

[@tbpg_snowball4978]

Say all of that again. I was distracted by how good you’re handwriting is.

[@pabloa_e]

Seems the same with "The art of War" from Sun Tsu ! Amazing haha

[@johnmilxer3979]

@6:45, thats along the correct lines but this should not be taken literally. What you should say to diffuse should mostly be things like “I agree” or “I see how you might think that”, etc. the example used in the video may be too direct

[@badad0166]

1:30 This technique also works when splitting weed or hash.

[@Dan-v8k]

The problem with the society we have today is that too many people expect to get what they want every time. It's not realistic or reasonable, and it's quite sociopathic!

[@aryanchoudhary2847]

Listen to the other side intensely and sincerely Understand their point of view, what they want out of their argument. Smile. Parrot the last few words. (to get more info) Then summarise your understanding and throw it back with: It seems like..... This will make the other side feel understood and you'll get a confirmation wether you've understood them right. Acknowledge the other parties thoughts.

[@JimyOlababz]

I really enjoy this, and learn a lot from this; the funniest thing is that, I do some of this sub-consciously sometimes and it always Pat off. Is very good tools for negotiation. Thanks for sharing🎉

[@kwstasmn9958]

Perfect, the algorithm knew that i needed to improve this skil of mine before I even search on the taskbar for it 😁

[@Rufusdragons]

Nah cuz that one friend needs to learn #1 💀

[@havasimark]

"You might think about not doing business with us anymore." "You are totally right. You're out. Bye."

[@prathameshrana2099]

Your summary videos are really good compared to other summary KZbinrs it feels like someone is really is teaching you compared to those who use too much music and distracting pictures. If you get a chance make a video on 'Deep work' Thanks for making these videos.

[@prathameshrana2099]

What advice will you give me sir I am 19 now.

[@moneqtemnome6678]

i haven't used the DIFFUSING NEGATIVES technique but i when i imagined myself in the shoes of the customer, the outcome i perceived was very different. To me, the suit man was simply stating the obvious, and that i am indeed correct to search for an alternative.

[@dhruvbohra466]

it was a great topic to make a video on, but i hope to have more examples on lesson 4.

[@Bellatopia]

Cute video...the title of the book is actually, "Never Split the Difference: NEGOTIATING As If Your Life Depended On It"

[@MarkHickman]

Great content a s usual, thanks for posting, if its not rude, what is the whiteboard software? it really does demonstrate the process.

[@marufkhanpallab4763]

Which editing tool did you use? I also want to make videos like you. The skeching thing is unique. But I don't know how to do it. Can anyone plz tell me about this editor?

[@mohammadfazlerabbi7712]

Loved the book. Thanks for letting me know about this book. 😊

[@Pvstt]

Mirroring : Stay silent atleast 4 seconds after, to get full amount of information i was like "Duh" Then i thought back of all the arguments where people mirror and immediatly continue with the (verbal)assault, lol. Great vid!

[@claudiamanta1943]

3:36 Aww… how sweet 😊 It can backfire spectacularly.

[@andaIusich]

On the brown shoe situation, I would just say that I’m not going and they will then compromise on me wearing black shoes

[@ke72499]

7:29 I tried to used that on my boss, very effective... now im looking for a new job..

[@fatherburning358]

If you bring a negative intent to negotiation, then your a manipulator. If you bring a genuine desire for a mutually beneficial outcome then your negotiating. If the power is unfair, then thats life and you could increase your knowledge of and skill in negotiating. Everything is most definitely negotiable.

[@Stewpitt377]

Wow. Her handwriting is incredible.

[@jackquickly]

"That's right, it's the square hole"

[@Gabrielle..]

Great video! I thank myself for never giving up even when it was very hard I kept pushing through until I made it out. My advice is that If you do your own investing, have you ever thought whether you should turn things over to a financial advisor? If you have significant assets, you have probably felt anxiety when making choices with your money. Perhaps you sensed that you might make better investing decisions if you knew just a little more and could invest without emotion. If this is the case, consulting a financial advisor makes perfect sense.

[@angelicstennett]

You’re right! Working with a financial advisor will genuinely set you up for success in life. I’m delighted I was able to hire a financial advisor named John Desmond Heppolette, earlier this year. Because while others were grumbling about the downturn in the financial markets due to the state of the economy, I was busy learning from him and eventually made over seven figures in the first quarter of the year.

[@luis-gabriel1]

John Desmond Heppolette has been a significant step in my financial life journey, providing valuable knowledge, actionable advice, and motivational content. His supportive community has boosted my confidence, work engagement and has inspired me to strive for excellence. His assistance is a secret weapon for great financial growth, and his online presence is a must-see for anyone looking to improve their financial situation.

[@Agatha207]

Absolutely! A financial advisor can help you create a tailored investment plan that aligns with your unique financial situation and goals.