How to Have a Great Relationship Once You Have a Child

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Mimi
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[@prettypeach3278]

Mimi I really disagree on the cheating point. Guys just so you know: if someone cheats on you, it's not your responsibility. It's their decision!

[@MimiIkonn]

You don't have to agree or disagree....because cheating is never black and white, regardless of whether the man or the woman cheats. It takes two people to have a relationship.

[@asianassari6050]

Pretty Peach same here. I agree

[@zainabaslam962]

Mimi Ikonn it’s very possible that one person gives everything and the other still cheats.

[@laseiz]

@@MimiIkonn it takes two people to have a realtionship . and one person to cheat !! if one drives the other one ' out' of the relationship , break up and do what you want . cheating is wrong !!

[@oz2428]

I agree with everyone here. Cheating is never ok. If you have a problem with your partner just talk about it or leave her/him and then sleep with whoever you want to

[@simonedeluxe200588]

Not having a child, not even being in a relationship, but watching this video right away 😅

[@MimiIkonn]

Thank you darling :)

[@followmearound123]

lol, same here :D

[@raihaniqbal3301]

BE QUIET SNEEKY SMELLS

[@louisewhln]

I remember when my parents would take a trip without me when I was a child, I loved it, it was exciting for me to spend time with other people, and still now I respect my parents for taking time for themselves and I think it set a great example for me.

[@nickyabrams]

You said you didn't have a mum here- but i remember Alex's mum stayed with you for six months after Alexa was born? how come you didn't talk about her?

[@BySamWithLove]

I thought the same. I don't know if they think their followers are dumb/blind, but we have seen the help they have gotten. Especially those of us who live in South Ken and see them.

[@Dreamzzgirl]

Lol Mimi and Alex are upper class London millionaires living in their bubble

[@iosubioana8490]

I could tell sleep was a very big part of Alex’s life by the fact that he was yawning for half of the video😂😂 so funny! Love you❤️

[@MimiIkonn]

He was holding half of the time not to yawn :)

[@veeg6847]

Coconuts 🥥

[@Sweety94ize]

🤣 I wondered if I was the only one who noticed

[@losiramadartse4127]

There was a lot bottled up, and just Kept on romanticizing their relationship.. 😢😅 🥥

[@holisticmaya]

Why are people so harsh in the comments? Sure, they're not perfect, they're human beings! This is a VIDEO. We have no right to criticize their relationship. If you work together and spend as much time together as these two do, have a child together, be together like 10 years, then maybe you can talk. They've been through so much together. I am in a 10 year long relationship and we're also business partners so we work together, almost always together. I understand Mimi and Alex's dynamic. They are just so used to talking together, it's like a naturally choreographed "dance". Maybe they talk over each other sometimes but who cares? You know when you're excited to talk to your best friend and you just keep talking over each other but ultimately you're listening and you care about what they say? Anyway, I loved this video. Very real and authentic, not too filtered and lots of awesome advice. Thank you for keeping it real Mimi and Alex :)

[@BySamWithLove]

I think it's because through the years they have become very preachy - and also, they have been caught being dishonest quite a bit. We get it, they want to sell an image but for those of us who have been following them for 10 years - it's disappointing.

[@LenkaXantha]

In the Czech Republic, where I come from, is a three-year paid maternity leave... It is not a huge amount of money, but worth for it! God Bless my country! Of course we have many other problems, but I am very glad for the opportunity to spend so much time with my small kids.

[@TheElsaAlvarado]

I’m so happy you guys addressed your old videos and how much you’ve grown since then. I still remember seeing you guys say “oh yeah, our baby will adapt to our traveling and our lifestyle!” I remember thinking that was very naive! Hahah

[@sciencenvisions1554]

Now divorced..

[@jessicastaple8032]

Take a shot for every time Alex yawns. Good luck team

[@alenatorres7071]

The 2nd kid was so much easier for us. Knew what to expect, how to sleep train, and just more relaxed.

[@SeekTruth300]

No one cares

[@alenatorres7071]

SeekTruth You cared enough to reply, loser.

[@RayaWasHere]

Thank you so so much for sharing all of this! Bookmarking this video to watch again with Louis when it is time for us 😊❤️

[@Blahlalovely]

What happened you guys. 😭😭😭 I saw your post on Instagram and I feel so bummed by it. I pray maybe you both come back together at some point. Hugs to you three! ❤

[@23zeko46]

Alex looks so bored in this video, fidgeting, yawning. It is good that you acknowledge just how much help you've had. Wish you were more open about that throughout the years. Women feel so much pressure to copy perfection they see on social media failing to realize that things are not as they seem and people have a lot of help behind the scenes.

[@NightlightsinMoscow]

I feel like we sat down for a chat ❤️ I loved how real you guys were. children change your life and I'm happy I'm watching this way before I have a child. It's tough but rewarding and you gave great ideas about what needs to be discussed once the two become three. Or even more 🙈 oh and coconuts!!

[@MimiIkonn]

awww....thank you for watching till the end

[@zarkomaichee]

100 and 100 is 200. Also 1 in 4 cannot be 46%.

[@lamiaalemoal7482]

Maybe she meant 1 in 2 couples that make 1 in 4 people

[@losiramadartse4127]

The divorce makes sense now, 😢😢😢!!!

[@monicazozo2012]

I dont have a second child, but I dont think you have to analyze things that much/and you also have to think about what Alexa would feel, how she would change, what she would learn from having a brother or sister, how she will grow not having your permanent whole attention etc/so this is just theory.....having or not having a second/third child. You have young parents, you are two, you have financial stability....so....I really dont know/before people used to have more children and the living conditions were way worse than today/only thinking about changing reusable diapers....after watching your video, I dont even think anybody would decide to have a child anymore.

[@teodoraiures6117]

Great advice! You two are both amazing!

[@beverleyroberts1025]

Omg Mimi, I can't believe you have just done a new relationship video. I've just been re-watching some of your old ones this week. Love you two, and love your relationship! And love Alexa too.x 😊

[@MimiIkonn]

Thank you dear Beverley

[@brendadiaz4944]

I love all the points you’re making! Having a supportive and helping partner is so important

[@jujuvonpinega]

Good old relationship videos is what I enjoy most here like from the beginning of this channel. It is beautiful to see how you change and evolve as a couple. This is great advice. Coconuts to you))

[@Elzem17]

I immediately called my fiancee to tell him I´m gonna teach him how to cook when we are married, because I realized when the baby comes, I´m not gonna have time for that... Thanks a lot! ❤️

[@skiphopflipflopdripdrop]

Why would you get with someone who can’t cook???

[@uhohstinky5850]

It’s only the first few months where you don’t have time to cook but you’ll be able to do it sooner than later

[@victoriamisunapiland3500]

Thank you so much for this video, Mimi and Alex!! It was so helpful and great! 🙏🏻💗

[@anjavrandecic]

Coconuts! We have 2 years old girl and we also went through all the stages :D amazing video, thank you so much for sharing! I read a beautiful article recently in New Yorker - When the father is doing things with and around kids, he is not "helping mom" he is BEING a father :) I'm so grateful to also have a man who loves being a father and spending time with our daughter. One suggestion: It might be really helpful to look into the "culture of a dialog" especially when you are so gracious to share your conversations with us. I used to interrupt my partner all the time, he also did not mind (just like Alex) but some friends told me it looks rude from the outside. It really helped our communication as well and he did not have to "try so hard" all the time to share his opinion. I learned patience and it helped me in other areas of my life also. I hope you don't mind me saying this, it really helped me and I know you're always looking for ways to improve. Lot's of LOVE ❤️

[@JuliaCaban]

🥥 Great video! I couldn't agree more with everything you guys mentioned :)

[@justnazari1723]

Thank you mimi !! I love your work

[@KatieGraham]

This is very helpful! Thank you for sharing!

[@pr1ssycr1ssy]

Great video! Thanks Alex & Mimi. After having three children, I relate to a lot of this. I have to agree when you say to have a conversation prior to the children with respect to expectations, what life will look like, etc... but in all honesty, I don't know if that conversation would have actually been constructive with my partner and I considering (in retrospect) we really didn't know what having a child was all about. We knew it was "great responsibility and our lives would change," but I don't think we actually knew-knew. The intensity of 24/7 is hard to comprehend.

[@amanda__mg3041]

Coconuts xx - Thank you for creating this! It is very appreciated especially during a time where couples are beginning to talk about and trying to become parents.

[@zm3531]

I can't steel believe they are not together anymore💔Hope they will be back together!

[@aidefsoun]

oHHH YOU GUYS!!! I missed your videos so much. Thanks for getting back to it! Love this type of videos. Love you!

[@victoriagrablyauskaite1495]

Mimi,thank you for everything you are doing! Once you help me to overcome difficult anxiety during hard times!Really wish you and Alex happiness and love ❤️

[@adelegagnon3131]

Coconuts 🤗 thank you for sharing your relationship journey, I always feel like I am evolving when I listen to you guys. I am currently a live-in nanny in an Australian family, and I have re-watched a couple of your videos a week ago, the ones where you traveled with Alexa, as well as your tips on parenting, and I have adapted the way I speak to the children since then. The parents use the word "no" very often, which is their way of parenting and totally respectable as well, but for me, I can already see an improvement in my relationship with the kids now that I speak mindfully to them, and this is all thanks to your beautiful self and all your advices. You educate yourself with tons of books, you have lots of friendships that are giving you different perspectives, and you have gained so much life experience.. For a 24 year old like me it's such a pleasure to listen to your advices and put them in practice. I am so grateful for you being part of my self growth, even virtually. You are a gem 🙏❤️

[@coast2coastdogs]

appreciate these types of videos so much ❤️ as someone who wants to have kids in the next 10 years ish it’s so nice to hear this type of honesty so that we can prepare 🙌🏼❤️

[@kalianayoga9808]

Ahh I’m so excited I found your channel! Beautiful fam🥰

[@laseiz]

He wasnt sweet or suportive '' helping '' you .... its his child too , i think its ' normal' !!. if he doesnt that would be not right !!! and COCONUT and i love the vibe of the video

[@ewagornisiewicz-kusiak6814]

This! I think we should stop praising men for doing the absolute normal thing. No one is clapping for mums for holding babies in their arms, right?

[@laseiz]

@@ewagornisiewicz-kusiak6814 totally , or encourage men to compare themselves to fathers that do '' less '' like alex said on the video : atleats i do that , some guys .... !! for me its like saying '' I can be worst , so be gratful !! But atleast they have the same view about it , so its okay , its their mentality both and it works for them !!

[@ewagornisiewicz-kusiak6814]

@@laseiz I hope it is! Mimi said she was not having it at the time.

[@laseiz]

@@ewagornisiewicz-kusiak6814 yes I hope so !! but since they said now its 99% so i guess ...

[@mimistern8868]

Men have many many outside obligations so yes when a man helps from his heart and wanting to spend time with his baby that's a huge support. And I think we need to thank our men for everything they do. Gratitude shows respect. To everyone. Even strangers. So why wouldn't you thank your man? Being an ungrateful bitch will just turn him away so good luck let me know how it goes. Not everything has to be looked at through the equal rights lense

[@loredanaiancu8561]

Coconuts!! 😂 I really enjoyed everything you have shared with us. When I hear "couple goals" I think of you guys. Oh you are my favourite couple ❤️

[@SassyLittleFrassie]

Coconuts! You guys are my absolute favorite 🥰 the topics you post about are always aligned with my life. We are connected 💕✨

[@marisolmerino4759]

Loved this video! So much truth and great realistic insight and tips! Please keep sharing!

[@preetywoman13]

Wonderful video Mimi. Always look forward to your videos. You guys are amazing & to look up to :)

[@gillianmcbride2713]

Coconuts! At exactly the same stage in my parenting journey, loved this!!

[@richadsilva6498]

Coconuts! Love you guys looking forward to learn a lot from y'all!

[@Jazieville]

Really happy to see a new video from you! Loved this in depth video Mimi (and Alex), i really resonated with pretty much all you said since I had my little one last year. Oh and Coconuts ;) x

[@catalinafuster1251]

Having a child is "la prueba de fuego" for a relationship. True, the key is communication and please don't make assumptions. Also true, the first 3 months are the hardest, breastfeeding is intense, sleep deprivation is real!!! But everyday will be better, trust yourself and your partner.

[@Maplesinvests]

Coconuts 🥰 I appreciate this video so much. My husband and I are going through everything your talking about now and I truly appreciate this advice.

[@MimiIkonn]

Oh, I"m sure you are not the only one

[@Maplesinvests]

@@MimiIkonn Thank you!!! 🥰❤🥰❤🥰

[@KaMiQa16]

Well maternity leave depends on the country you live in, in Poland we have up to 12 months, in Romania you have even 24 months

[@emmamiskovska7824]

Yes,in Czech Republic we have 3 years🙂 . And no kinderagrten or nursery until your child turn 3

[@mariamfares3901]

Coconuts ❤️ you guys are amazing! Thank you for sharing your views on parenting and giving us access to your insights and private life. It's such a wonderful experience to witness how your YT channel changed and realize that both us the viewers and you the creators grow up together somehow. I send you lots of love ❤️

[@ashleyjanae562]

Coconuts! Thanks so much for you transparency! So many good tips ❤️

[@letsliveallday4259]

this video was so good!! ❤️❤️

[@miafalco]

You two are amazing! “Coconuts!” Thank you for sharing this challenging & vulnerable chapter of your life. This is a very helpful video.

[@delisanurse6617]

very helpful and great video ... amazing tips

[@sofiakaplanidou7877]

One of the best videos with realistic advice and down to earth!thank you for being so good influence and parents

[@barbararodriguez5792]

Coconuts 🥥 Loved this video, keep them coming please! Missed these frequently ^_^

[@BootsieDior74]

I absolutely LOVE these types of videos! Thank You Mimi and Alex for sharing this wealth of knowledge with your subbies. Coming from a happily married almost 24 years, together for 27, and mother of four I truly second EVERYTHING you said here! 👏🏽👏🏽 I cannot agree more! The best chance couples have at being a great team in parenting is having already established an incredible dynamic before baby. You and your partner are just as important as the child bc this beautiful baby will grow up and leave and your partner will still be there. God Willing. So it’s best to really communicate and stay in the same page with each other. I was very blessed to be a stay at home mother and have had the pleasure of raising my kids, hands on from the start. I truly believe that a child comes into YOUR life not the other way around. So if you’re already living a happy positive loving life the baby will usually just add more of those emotions to you. Sleep is incredibly important and I always say nap when baby naps and YES a great sleep schedule is CRUCIAL! You and your partner need to have special one on one time together so sleep training is so important. I also believe that happy couples are those who continue to date and woo each other. Date nights out are awesome but if you cannot leave the baby or go out have a date night at home! Just do your best to BE the best version of yourselves and you really will be able to weather whatever storms come your way. I say a relationship is like a balloon. You BOTH must always be blowing air into it or it will deflate. Mimi and Alex I also agree that you must give 100% and when ppl say it’s 50/50 that frustrates me bc it’s almost an excuse to just not use much effort. I want to give my best to the ppl I love and I really appreciate it and acknowledge it when they give their best to me in return. It’s just so important. I say if you love to travel or to eat out or go shopping whatever it is that you love and helps keep you sane. KEEP DOING IT when baby comes! It only helps your child be so much more outgoing more social more knowledgeable and well rounded. Sometimes I see a baby acting out or screaming in restaurants and the parents say to each other “this is why we never go out!” I say to my husband that if you take them out MORE they will learn how to behave and to express themselves in a more appropriate manner bc it will be something they’re used to. Things like that are so simple yet many parents avoid it. Anyway I went on a tangent and all over the place but I could literally listen to you both and conversate with you all day! 🥰👌🏽 I hope you have a great Sunday and Alex it’s Father’s Day here in America so Happy Father’s Day to you! You’re both an inspiration to many young and even older couples! Hugs and love to your family~Miranda 💜

[@SimplicidadEnEspanol]

Coconut! Ahhh such a giving treat. Theres water, cocononut meat, coconut bark for gardening, coconut bowls. A real zero waste gift from mother nature

[@aarushisachdeva]

Yayy! Watching you both is a treat 😊 Please make more videos

[@trishapm8874]

Interesting! Loved hearing these perspective of parents cause I'll never experience it. Don't want children, never will.

[@maip2005]

Coconuts!!! Loved this and it is such valuable and relatable information!

[@cristinaperezgomez7060]

Coconuuuuts! You are such an inspiration! Thank you for open up about something so important and personal. 🙏

[@meiagal]

You guys inspire so many of us. Thank you for a rare positive presence on social media. Love you guys. Miss these kinda videos. Hope you grow & fulfill all your dreams & enlighten us with such words of wisdom!!

[@valentinavelez1296]

Coconuts!!! I just loved the video. Im going through this parenting-relationship situation and it is really helpful. Thank you guys for sharing! Sending you lots of love ❤️

[@Areeba.324]

Having a second child was a game changer for us. Especially when the two are so close in age. It is hard at first when they are under 2. But then they really grow together, play together, and learn so much from each other. It's a very enriching and bonding experience. And it's also helpful for the parent in terms of giving attention. As the children have a companion in each other, they don't demand your attention as much.

[@kelseytaylor6314]

I love you two!!!! I met you twice in london if you guys remember. Keep being great role models for us xx love you

[@WhatashameMaryJane]

Mimi you kept interrupting Alex and that was driving me crazy darling!

[@truffle_and_sony]

She has been doing it since they together 😃

[@not-even-german4892]

@@truffle_and_sony Yeahhh.. But OK

[@jadeaj7]

She’s always a know-it-all, shows a lot about a person. I view Mimi as an insecure person but trying to mask it by always taking the spotlight. Most intellectual people I know and seen are great listeners and more laid back coz they dont need the urge to sound smart all the time.

[@not-even-german4892]

@@tamytonse8337 ohhh really...

[@not-even-german4892]

@@jadeaj7 I think she doesn't mind it in a bad way but going a step further she seems to be very CONTROLLING ( money, feelings, love, friendships) 🙄🙄🙄🙄

[@flawedsparkle6618]

I think most couples need to realize that being a first time parent and the little children stage is just plain out rough, like a war zone rough. It’s a transitional season of life, parenthood and marriage. It’ll pass. If you both go into it with that mentality and both know no matter what you are in this together, you will survive and things will get better. Don’t give up, the other side of this season is amazing. Your love grows deeper and you appreciate each other so much more because of that bond and trust you develop during this season.

[@jenniferarcher6775]

The getaway thing is Amazing!! I did it for the first time when my oldest was 3 and youngest 1, and we had the best time! It was sooo hard leaving them, but I prepared mentally some weeks before and did it!!! I encourage you to do it!! ❤️

[@svitlanaliakhovets8902]

This video is so coconut! Love it! Thank you, guys, for the real life tips 🥰

[@BeautyInAllPlaces]

Coconut 🌴🥥 I love you guys! This video was amazing 😉 I appreciate it! Happy Sunday guys!

[@andreiaandrade4956]

COCONUTS!! 🥥🥥 Love you guys! Thank you for all the wisdom. It’s great to see you on KZbin, I’d love to see more. Also any recommendations on books you found most helpful in raising a child? All the love ❤️ ❤️

[@roseanneraccuglialau6221]

❤️So glad you made this!! Would love more Mama and parenting videos. Thank you ❤️🌈❤️

[@LiveByDesign]

Hi! How do you edit your videos?

[@Showermewithflowers]

I miss your favorite month video little fashion and home vlogs! Great topics

[@rosefrancaise]

I adore you two (three!) and appreciate your perspectives, no matter the topic. Although I’m not a parent, you and Alex always drop gems that are so applicable to life in general... Thank you for sharing...I’ve been walking alongside you both since 2014! I hope to see more videos soon. Much love from San Francisco 😘

[@pincherty]

I think it's time for Alex to get a nice haircut :D

[@skiphopflipflopdripdrop]

He looks fine

[@ashd5890]

Awwww....i missed your talking videos so muchh😘😘😍😍lovee youu mimi😘😘😘😘

[@MimiIkonn]

Thank you Asha

[@ashd5890]

@@MimiIkonn omg looking forward to it mimi😊😊😘😘

[@babinmanon838]

🥥 thank you guys for that video! I’m not planning on having a child anytime soon but I’ve always loved the parenting style you seem to have on social media. Thank you for being so open. I feel that we are able to discover more of the real Mimi and Alex thanks to that video! Love from France 🇫🇷💙

[@bijalmemories]

Thank you so much for this video and your honesty. No one talks about how hard it is especially when we want to bring our kids up a certain way ( conscious parenting) your advise is spot on . Xx

[@heathergracenyc]

You guys are great parents! Thanks for sharing your advice and also your differences. I had my daughter about 6 months after you, so I’ve loved being just that little bit behind you and learning/sharing some of these experiences “with” you! Also, “coconuts” made me laugh so hard because that’s my daughter and husband’s shared “swear” word... when something goes wrong they’ll both say “coconuts!” ... perfect word for a parenting video 😉 The couple getaways have been life changing for us... so when you feel comfortable, we 100% recommend it. We’ve been doing biannual trips... one long weekend and one full week and Bella stays with grandparents. They love it and Bella loves it and it just changes my whole perspective on life. We are now expecting our second in January and are ramping up for a crazy 2021... we feel much more equipped this time but also more nervous since we know exactly how hard it is. Thankfully, like you said, we’ve been having the conversations early about how we’re going to set up our life and routines which is so important and we are going to hire help from day one. Currently we have a nanny, but we are planning on getting additional help for the first few months while we all adjust. Anyway, thanks again for sharing your hearts. Always love your videos! ❤️❤️❤️

[@nooreenamungroo6887]

*Coconuts* Thank you so much for those helpful advice ❤️ that video was very educational, especially for parents to be :)

[@lelde.design]

🥥🥥🥥 I guess this was highly recommended video! It was definitely worth to wait❤️🙏🏻✨

[@ConveyBeauty]

My husband and I also had a 100% perfect relationship UNTILL kids. But I have to say , kids makes your life so more meaningful and joyful. You have to adapt for sure! Now we have a second baby of 7 months and a toddler of 3,5 year and its even MORE difficult. When the one is sleeping the other seeks attention. You don’t have any time for yourself anymore. But seeing my kids together is sooo rewarding

[@judiyaz1445]

Agree with you 100%, same case here with 2 kids x

[@lukereid9204]

What kind of watch do you have?

[@charlinin7380]

🥥🥥🥥🥥 Love love love this video! This was incredibly helpful, my partner and I are expecting our first baby next month and this could not have come at a better time! Love you both

[@MimiIkonn]

Good luck! :) Such exciting time!

[@JessyWonderTV]

It was so nice seeing a cuople tandem.really love it.keep enjoying your company and thanks for sharing your relationship situation

[@cucuchannelbeauty]

Such a Great Video. I am very happy that you Shared this with us.❤️❤️❤️

[@Neige700]

Coconuts ! 😁 Thank you for this very informative and useful video ! Great content, as always ! 👍🏼

[@marybelaponte3068]

Coconuts. I have been following you for a couple of years and enjoy seeing you share your beautiful life together. Bravo!

[@erinobrien8069]

Cocoanuts lol 😂 Mimi and Alex, this was such a great video. You guys were some of the first KZbinrs I started watching and I’ve watched a lot of others in between and it has made me realise just how incredible you guys are, and the content you guys make. You are so inspiring to me! Xxx

[@imanndear]

Coconuts! Thank you so much for this video ❤️

[@panyietelka]

The lightbulb moment, when you put shutters in the kids bedroom and they wont wake up with the sun anymore.

[@WhitneyUwandu]

AWWWW YOU CUTIESSS 🥺 you both inspire me sooo so much, like in alllll aspects of life!! I’m constantly sending my boyfriend your podcast episodes too honestly hahaha ❤️

[@mmcc3600]

Coconuts😅

[@shirabrilliantsky4110]

Coconut;) Thank you Alex and Mimi for this very interesting, genuine video. 💫😍💫

[@anastasiyapilipas9631]

Great video, thank you so much! Never delete it 😊

[@MsVlada21]

Coconut ☺️ love you guys ❤️ this is an amazingly helpful video. Taking a mental note to rewatch this when I am about to have a child 😍

[@Emma-gk7zv]

Coconuts😉 thank you so much for sharing! I think we need more real chats like this, because we only see the beautiful side on instagram and don’t know the hard work behind this great relationship. And thats why when you compare your everyday relationship with instagram highlights you feel like you are failing. Thank you guys! Would love more content like this.

[@biancahazel1664]

Love this, I wish I had it too! My husband and I fought so much when we never use to. We have also grown so much together since our daughter! Now our love is so strong and I'm grateful! Mimi, you mentioned basic needs have you researched Maslow's Hierarchy of needs? Sending lots of love xxx

[@anya876]

Totally coconuts! Thank you for a great video!)

[@njqg3759]

I loved this video!! I had my baby almost 7 months ago and I recognize so much of what you are saying. Having a child and wanting to be fully present is amazing but can be challenging! Thanks for sharing its refreshing to now I'm not the only one going through this xxxx