How to Help Children Who Won't Sit Still

[@Veronica_Esterhuyse]

This is so timely and encouraging. We attended a music class concert last night and my twin boys 10years sat either side of me. I started to notice that most parents handed the other kids cellphones to play with during the hour long concert to keep them still. I was so proud of my boys sitting still en actually enjoying all the items being presented. Yes, they did eventually ask when is it done, and I encouraged them by telling them four more items and they really held up such great troopers. But we defnitely trained this over the years as a non-negotiable.

[@fatimamohammad6358]

Although iam too late but i would love to hear from anyone who trained his child to act like this i eagerly would love to know the keys

[@lenapalmer323]

Thank you! My daughter also has sensory processing disorder. This is a big reason why we chose to homeschool.

[@maryhoffman9551]

Something that helped our very active kids sit in chairs on their bottoms was making sure they were in seats that had footrests that they could reach with their feet. Another thing we did in our dining room was tie a firm resistance band across where a footrest would naturally be for them and they could slightly push their feet against the band as they sat and bounce their legs a little. Those little movements would seem to help keep them focused- and seated-for longer.

[@SimplyCharlotteMason]

Thank you for contributing to this conversation and sharing what has worked well for your family!

[@mrsivt5993]

this was soooooo good!!!! this is the real stuff, the things that no one really talks about! thank you so much! we have very active boys and this could've been so helpful very early on. I'm sure this will bless many, especially mamas in the thick of it!

[@jennyb.6847]

I just love watching you two! So refreshing and sweet every time! I'm always encouraged! Thank you for your ministry! Also, SAME here with sitting on bottoms! Daily! Yes...it's the long-term, bigger picture habits we're training! Thank you!

[@mariebrock8841]

This video was an excellent reminder to me on training children for those harder things.

[@tarawilliams1685]

Thank you so much for this discussion. Your comments are encouraging, thoughtful and well balanced. The training tips mentioned in this video, I believe, truly honors the child "as person" not robot and inspire my intentions, as well as, my heart.

[@donnaclelland4958]

I totally get the time and place thing. We are also struggling with the church thing, especially after Covid lockdowns and got going to church for 2 years. I think the thing I struggle with is that I want their time at church to be positive and I want them to choose to worship. How do I demand them to pray and sit and sing when they’re told, it feels like religion not relationship.

[@SimplyCharlotteMason]

This is a great thought, Donna, thank you so much for taking the time to share. We attend a church where the children remain in the service the entire time and our family also wants to prioritize individual relationship with Jesus. We made it a point to talk to our children ahead of time to explain what is expected of them in the church service. This helped with them knowing our expectations and the reasons behind them too, not that it was out of religious obligation but out of respect as part of the body of believers joined together. We also remembered to have a lot of grace for exactly the reason you mentioned, to foster both our relationship with our children as they learned to listen during the service and we had the privilege of modeling for them the way to behave in this situation and to explain why. This helps us all to have a positive church experience and rather than demanding it to them, they feel included and a part of the body and yes, they know in that type of setting they're expected to join in with the body of believers by listening to our pastor, praying, and singing, and sitting and doing their best to pay attention. We also do provide something for them to scribble on and encourage them to listen for certain words during the sermon as well as maybe draw something related to what they are hearing. Let me know if you have more thoughts on this too!

[@heidiandbretz9867]

I loved this thank you! My 7yo loves to listen to readings, but is very easily distracted by my almost 5yo, who is a mover. I try to let my youngest move as she needs to, but the sounds of her movement also distracts my oldest. I'm very much like my oldest...I can't talk on the phone and have any background sounds or I will constantly need to ask the person I'm speaking to to repeat themselves. It's a struggle sometimes!

[@laurapitney7202]

I am sure you are doing a great job! You are all learning real life lessons.

[@zillycrew]

I really liked this....so helpful, I have four boys and I have readjust all the time to know when its okay to let them move and not to move...this reinforced what Im "trying" to accomplish with teaching them when its okay and when its not. :)

[@britneygriffin6704]

Thank you so much for addressing and having advice for kids with different needs and abilities. I have one daughter with ADHD and sensory issues, and another one who is autistic. It can sometimes be hard to know how to teach them what and the way they need to learn. Thank you. 😊

[@SimplyCharlotteMason]

You are very welcome, so glad that you have enjoyed this content! As you mention ADHD specifically, here is another post on that in case you have not yet seen it. simplycharlottemason.com/blog/charlotte-mason-homeschooling-with-adhd/ Here is a link to all of SCM's blogposts that discuss children with special needs, sharing in case you are looking for more resources that may help you in the education of your children. simplycharlottemason.com/blog/category/special-needs/

[@britneygriffin6704]

Thank you so much💖

[@maryp1464]

Such great advice. Thank you for the tips, definitely going to use this.

[@SimplyCharlotteMason]

Glad it was helpful!

[@robertvangorder1983]

Really liked this! Thank you! Helpful! 👍

[@Headed2Victory]

Great information and thanks for sharing!

[@SimplyCharlotteMason]

Glad it was helpful!

[@jennifercuapio7850]

Thank you! ❤

[@SimplyCharlotteMason]

You are very welcome!

[@xinfengzhu8228]

to train them is the key. Let them sit for a period, and then extend the time. Play games .

[@SimplyCharlotteMason]

Thanks for joining in this conversation!

[@Scout-bt3mo]

My boy is constantly moving and talking with so much energy. Why do I want him to sit still? Because it drives ME crazy! I can't concentrate or focus when he is constantly moving and talking. It distracts me and I can't process anything while I'm so distracted. So, what do I do when he's driving me crazy if he's moving and I'm driving him crazy when I make him sit still? He's going into 7th grade! Shouldn't he be out of this stage?

[@noramcnabb1361]

Probably hyperactive type adhd if he is still doing so in 7th grade

[@SimplyCharlotteMason]

Thank you for reaching out with your question! It can be very hard for you as the teacher if it is also distracting you, however if he is unable to attend or learn without movement it will be hard to accomplish your goals with him in your homeschool. In addition to the helpful tips offered in this video, this blog post also has some good advice: simplycharlottemason.com/blog/setting-child-success-surroundings/ If you have tried working on the habit of attention and working on having him sit still and find that he struggles to learn that way, it could be that his body really needs to move in order for him to keep attending (similar to an adult who taps their foot as a conference drags on or chews gum in the afternoon in the middle of a long lecture). They are using strategies to keep themselves focused. Perhaps some trial and error with strategies and you will both be able to come to a compromise that works well for both of you to be able to focus on your respective jobs teaching and learning!

[@Scout-bt3mo]

@@SimplyCharlotteMason Thank you. I will look at that link.

[@JehanJoyGesta]

Needed this!

[@rebaseymour1810]

Great suggestions!

[@danelleweatherby6026]

I have cognitive recall disorder and mild sensory processing issues, my 5 year old is diabetic so she physically has to be moving much of the time. For me this is almost agonizing if I’m reading to them or trying to even just put sentences together. Me trying to speak when there is something moving in my vision is so hard. So much so that my children often don’t understand what I’m saying. My 5 year old also has beautiful red curly hair, If I’m reading and they are snuggling with me like little kids should be able to do with their mammas, and her hair is touching me I might not even notice for a while, but then my nervous system freaks out. I’ve had to jump up, run away and hide in a dark place to calm my body down while my poor children are left sitting wondering what happened. My 3 year old has straight soft hair and never wiggles so I don’t have any of the same problems with her. I feel so bad for my 5 year old, none of this is her fault, but I often worry if she thinks I don’t like her as much as her sister since I can cuddle with her more and don’t snap at her as often. ( if I snap we pause school and I go get my head straight again before moving onto the next subject) Does anyone else have a similar problem? What would you do (traditional school isn’t an option for us)

[@fishtaylfertility]

I know this comment is old but, can you use a silk scarf or something that feels good to you between yourself and your daughter? Or use an audiobook so you don't have to read all of it?