How to help your angry adopted child

[@KatTheo431]

When I was in foster care, a lot of the anger was due to the situation, lack of control over it and the lack of ability to do things I wanted because of a number of factors. At least for older foster youth, especially teens, things like this don't work because it feels like just telling teens to suck it up and ignore everything that's unfair in your life. A lot of my conflicts were with my insanely conservative religious foster parents that I clashed with and wouldn't let me do perfectly normal things. When I went from being entirely silent and barely talking to finally unleashing how I felt to them, they disrupted but it actually was better. They understood how I felt and while it also made it clear how things weren't working, it actually was productive. I think for a lot of foster youth, they supress their emotions so much because they're afraid foster parents won't like them or they won't be adopted or whatever. And I'm so thankful I wasn't adopted by those crazy religious people since they were not a good fit for me. But honestly, hurting some feelings is necessary when it's the foster parents who are causing the anger. And they really need to understand that.

[@adoptinformed]

Definitely. I think that’s a different situation. These tips have primarily worked with my younger kids, although they also have been good with my 13 year old. The focus isn’t on suppressing emotions, but on expressing them in a healthier way. I completely think foster kids have a right to feel angry about their life circumstances…it’s only natural. I also think feeling anger in general is perfectly normal, but learning how to express anger without hurting others is a very important life skill we want our kids to have so that they can function well as adults. I appreciate you sharing your perspective as a former foster youth!

[@NovasYouTubeName]

Thanks for sharing your perspective ❤

[@NovasYouTubeName]

9:44 sooo good. Good for all of us!! Then they don’t get into “you did ____”. Good for kids and for marriage etc 12:40 love that so much!!!!

[@kristinabronder8733]

🤔 This was outstanding! So many people post about the problem but rarely do they go through the whole process with examples of how to help the child and beyond. Thank you! We are in the final stage of licensing...last home visit next week! But my one child is starting to have some tantrums that are not typical of the child. I know the issue is prob related to anxiety but its displayed in anger. I come from a background of angry parenting and so its so hard for me to not go back to my roots even though I know its wrong...these ideas were great on steps from point pre-explosion to post-conversation and everything in between. I needed the step by step idea to help before we have others come in. Thank you for being honest and open while still protecting the emotions of your children. More videos like this are great!!!

[@adoptinformed]

Anxiety presents itself as anger so frequently! That was the root of most of our kids’ anger at the beginning when they moved in. I could definitely understand why your child might be anxious with this big change on the horizon!

[@Tyzzara]

I concur. THANK YOU! (thinking emoji face)

[@amandazacharias4790]

Thanks for sharing. Very helpful. ☺️ we’re in the Foster licensing process right now! 🤔🤔🤔

[@joycechicoine6270]

Thank you for sharing what has worked for you and your family.

[@sarahaeschliman5781]

Love this one. Thanks for sharing your thoughts ❤🤔🤔🤔

[@crystali3375]

That whole part on sleep was so great! 🤔

[@kierstenjorgenson5305]

So many great ideas!! Thank you!!

[@staceyred1]

I don't know if I'm being stupid but I can't find the emotions chart link in the description. Can you help?! Thanks

[@andiegirl3702]

Loved this! 🤔

[@visi7891]

tysm

[@MadamoiselHannahPeek]

Excellent content. Thank you. How would you help the angry introvert?

[@adoptinformed]

@@MadamoiselHannahPeek my “angry” child is actually the introvert of the kids! All of these things have worked for them :)

[@Jennifer-fl8tv]

Love the 3 steps, will have to try it. Do you have any experience is how to get a kid to calm their body when they are attacking someone/you (hitting, kicking, biting, headbutting). Restraint, seperating them in a room only seems to escalate the situation, but people need be safe.

[@adoptinformed]

Thankfully we haven’t dealt with a more extreme situation like that with our kids. We did have one of our kids try to pull something at school where they were knocking things over in a classroom when angry…but they never did it at home (or again at school after we gave consequences). We did get CPI training through our agency which gave information on how to handle these situations. I would say that prevention should always be the number one priority! Talk about how to handle things when the child is not angry and give them a plan or expectations for what will happen if they get out of control. A lot of this will also depend on if your child has any developmental delays because things have to be handled a bit differently in those situations!

[@CJ-gp9cn]

Yes more post-placement videos please! 🙌🤔

[@kickdropacoin]

🧀such great tips! Time in and discussion has really not been working for us. Can't wait to try a 3 step solution instead!

[@adoptinformed]

Yeah I think giving them a system to use helps them start to take ownership of how they handle their own anger! I hope it works well for you ☺️

[@drbonnierice]

how young is too young for therapy?

[@adoptinformed]

Most kids start around age 5 at the earliest. It can sometimes be challenging to find therapists for children who are very young. Play therapy is most common for kids this age!

[@NovasYouTubeName]

🤔🤔 ❤❤😂😂

[@cdeuell86]

🤔 🤔 🤔

[@jencas8597]

🤔🤔🤔

[@xiixiixo]

🤔

[@fionascheibel977]

Cheesy thinking face emoji

[@adoptinformed]

@@fionascheibel977 hahaha 😂

[@brandigroth7226]

🤔🧀

[@kierstenjorgenson5305]

🤔