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I would like to adopt a girl with out paying a fee like fill out a adoption paperwork

Night owl here! 😊Thank you for your video. Do you or anyone you know also do consults with people that would like to become foster parents? I am in Ontario Canada

Do you have any advice for parents who want to adopt a waiting child from foster care with no prior experience fostering or with their own children? My husband and I would like to adopt a waiting child, he’s a boy, age 12 and has been in foster care for over five years. We have started the classes but each person we talk to has told us our chances of adopting are slim to none because we haven’t previously had our own children or fostered previously. We’ve been told our best bet would be to foster and if the child’s parents rights are terminated to adopted but that isn’t exactly how we want to go about it.

my grandson finally found me on fb, my daughter- his mother had put him & his sister up for adoption, he was 3, she was 1. i couldnt imigine, just coming to know mommy, daddy, and knowing your name then, mommy isnt mommy any more mommy looks diffrent, daddy looks diffrent, and then being stripped of youre own 1st name, and given the name wilbur....im glad hes found me, since his birth mom, my daughter took her own life- alot of the despair was making that selfless decission for the kids future. so complicated.

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Thank you so much! You are a wealth of information. I am almost finished Foster care program. Would you consider that they are both the same. If not what do you think is different. Keep the post coming - love yoro honesty.

I am very nervous to tell my parents we are wanting to adopt teens from the foster system. My husband and I know that this is what God is calling us to do. Up until recently, my husband was not very into the idea of adopting. I’ve always wanted a large family and I’ve always known I wanted to adopt older children/ teens in need. Before we got married my husband said he would eventually like to adopt but only small children/babies because of a lot of the reasons people typically say. I thought “not what I feel led to, but this is definitely the man I feel God has led me to marry and I can pray that God will change one of our hearts and we can have more conversations about it.” Well when we had our first biological child, not only was my husband a little less sure about adoption all together, but I had some complications with my heart during labor which lead to me connecting some dots and figuring out I’d been going into something called SVT pretty often throughout my entire life but just thought I was a hypochondriac/ out of shape. Both my obstetrician and cardiologist said that it would be fine for me to keep having babies, and my husband and I both still wanted to have at least one more. Well during my second pregnancy, my heart was acting up constantly and I had problems with my thyroid leading to it being a high risk pregnancy. I was placed on medication for both issues and monitored very well by my doctors. But my husband pretty much told me that he never wanted to intentionally get me pregnant again because my heart problems scared him so bad, even though both of my doctors think it will be okay for me to have more. I understand where he’s coming from and honestly I don’t want any more babies either. But back to adoption. He still had the mindset of maybe possibly within the next 20 years. He wanted our kids to be older. And he still only wanted to even consider children under 5. But even saying that, he was skeptical and on the fence about adopting at all. Our babies are 1 and 3 now and for some reason lately I’ve been really feeling like another child is missing. At first it came in the form of just being a little disappointed that I hadn’t accidentally gotten pregnancy every month when my period came but I knew that that was honestly just biology talking. I definitely do NOT want anymore babies. And then my mind just started turning to adoption. A lot. I felt like God was trying to get my attention and I felt like everywhere I looked I was seeing something about children in foster care. I didn’t want to bring it up to my husband because i knew he didn’t think we were at the right time in life for it and I didn’t want to push it and make him have more distaste for it. But I kept praying that if this was really something God was calling me to the way I felt he had been my entire life that he would make that clear to my husband. Well on 4th of July my parents kept our two sons so we could have a date night and we went and saw the movie The Story of Possum Trot. I’ll be honest, I wanted to see it but it was also really just the only thing playing that looked any good. I really think if there had been something else we’d have both enjoyed we would have seen something different. For anyone who doesn’t know it’s a movie about the true story of Possum Trot, Texas where a small community adopted 77 kids from the foster system. When we left the theater I just didn’t even say anything about it and started talking about other things cause I wasn’t trying to push anything with going to that movie and didn’t want my husband to think I was but 15 minutes into our drive home (we live a ways away) he goes, “So I guess we need to address the elephant in the room.” I immediately got such a big grin on my face like “oh. There’s an elephant?” And we talked about what the reality of adopting would look like right now, especially with having a 1 and 3 year old and decided to give it a few days of thinking and praying and talking and let the emotions of watching a movie like that dissipate so we could think rationally and eventually my husband was like “yeah. I think we’re supposed to adopt and I think it’s now.” And then he had to think more on age and was like “yeah. I think 10 and up.” We know his family is going to be like “I think y’all are crazy but y’all are gonna be great at it,” and we have told his mom but no one else yet and she reacted pretty much exactly like that. My family, though, have never supported me in anything, actually. Or at least they did, but very begrudgingly. Like getting married. Or pursuing writing. Or having children while still in college(not in college anymore) And all of their objections have been very cultural fears that have had nothing to do with whether or not I was making the right decision for myself. I am positive that they will initially react by bringing up all the same cultural fears and horror stories everyone does when they have reservations about adoption. And I already have answers prepared. But I am so worried that even after we give them all the facts and explain that this is something God is definitely calling us to do that they will just refuse to support us at all. And my husband’s family lives 3 hours away right now. Pray for us

Reading morning routine

i'm so grateful for your words of wisdom and encouragement <3

My kids are 4 and 5.😂😂❤ this Sarah can you make a video of your kid's mattresses

Hi my name is Sarah I am Joe's wife I am a foster mom I want to get rid of the toddler beds I am thinking about doing bunk beds would you recommend it the youngest is slightly artistic and ADHD and sometimes wets the bed what would you recommend for a mattress pad or cover to protect the mattress

Great Convo Katie, I was never in the sys however after my parents divorced when I was 12, my mom worked alot and was gone. I took on the parental role for my kid sister who was 7. I'll admit it wasn't until I was an adult and went to therapy I realized I had a lot of bitterness about that as I felt like I became an adult & a parent at 12. This has lead me to be very delayed in my desire to have & parent my own children. Now at 38 I know I'm ready to move forward with adoption as I went to therapy and took my counselors advice to spend the next several years doing things I wasn't able to as a kid. So I know how detrimental this can be to a child acting as a parent.

I don't know if I'm being stupid but I can't find the emotions chart link in the description. Can you help?! Thanks

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When I was 6, my mom started to lose her battle with schizophrenia and the demons started taking over more and more of her life so I had to care for myself. By the time I was 8, I was the one shopping for groceries with the EBT card most of the time and fixing whatever I could for dinner. By the time I was 12, taking care of myself was normal. Then, I went into foster care. I think one of the problem with many foster parents is they have idealized expectations of being parents and what that look like, and how they want everything to be, and there's got to be compromises when dealing with someone who is essentially used to having far more control over their life. I thought it was awesome to have the freedom to do what I wanted. I was proud of what I could do. There's a Japanese tv series where 3-4 year olds are sent to the store to buy something and camera crew follows them around. This is entirely normal in Japan. Yet, I had foster parents who didn't think at 14 I should go to the store alone. I really wasn't until I turned 18 that I really felt I like I was able to get back to the way I was when I was 12.

We need help/ advice on how to do this adoption thing.

we adopted two siblings girls ,they have been 1 year with us ,and today the oldest one asked us to return to the social shelter ...saying she is not happy because she thinks that she doesnt have the same attention as the biological one .i have one bio daughter9 years old and the adopted siblings are 8and 10 years old .I dont know what to say ???help me please kisses from BRAZIL

What is the cost of the group?

✨Join the Adopt Together Community wait list! ✨ adoptinformed.ck.page/19263492aa

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Great information, thank you for sharing! It's 1am when I finished this video (and probably on to your part two after the comment) so I would say I'm a night owl.

public sectoer agencey suck

20k to 50k

wish there was a diffret agencey in town

dont know if it is our homestody or our questionare

i think the case worker are over worked and i think some are too pickey

the agency we use sucks and it us the only one in my area

my wife and i have tried to find a kid for 5 yeras we have ne told no so many time

Hello, hi, we don’t say “severe autism”, we say “lower masking autism”.

Excellent content. Thank you. How would you help the angry introvert?

My trauma response as a kid was none of these. I had a lot of control-seeking behaviors where I was constantly trying to create & maintain a sense of order in my world. This was sometimes mistaken for people pleasing, when I really didn’t care about who liked/benefited from my behaviors…they were purely for my own sanity. I became borderline OCD taking it upon myself to wake up early & scrub the kitchen, make sun tea, color-code my closet, etc. I didn’t become a little Cinderella because I cared if it pleased others. I did it because I absolutely hated how dirty my home was & how disorganized my family was. Sometimes, what may seem like people-pleasing might be a different trauma response than what’s on the surface

If the self-soothing and repetitive behaviors do not stop, the child may be on the autism spectrum, or may have ADHD, etc. which isn't a disease and isn't behavior that should be discouraged under those circumstances, given the medical explanation, nor will they will outrgow it at any point in their lives. They're also very common diagnoses. I'm no less autistic as an adult than I was as a child. Many of the symptoms you referenced can be signs of distress, but can also be signs that a child is simply autistic or highly sensitive, and these are lifelong things that are separate from situational trauma, OR may be greatly interrelated. Autistic children may also have more noticeable or heightened symptoms under stress and trauma. But their diagnosis itself - a part of the child's core identity - isn't the problem. In summary, it's all very complex. It highlights the need to analyze each child as a unique individual with unique strengths and challenges. It's important to work on coping mechanisms and learning how to live and feel fulfilled in the world despite our conditions and the wide variability in strengths and challenges among individuals. Good video and thank you for the insight!

I want adobt pleas I need children

Fawn/Friend response is sometimes also called "people pleasing". I found this in myself in therapy (and brought it to light). My adopted daughter would show show anger and aggression as her primary defense while I would bend over backwards as a way to de-escalate the aggressor and keep myself safe. Glad I discovered it and healed it.

Thank you for this awesome video, I waited the whole week for a new video, I met your channel Sunday, and already watched a lot, thank you for recording this kinda content ❤

Thank you, Katie we're trying to learn as much about trauma as we can. Ironically this has not been covered in any training/book thus far. I so appreciate examples of how you respond because I'd be at a loss.

I am not an adopter, but I have PTSD and just realized how much I use the fawn response in my daily life. Thank you for your insight!

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Super video!!! I have a fawner here and it is hard to know how to respond. So I appreciate you sharing practically how you respond. Thank you!

Thank you so much for this video! We just scheduled the third zoom call with a potential match.

Omg, I'm crying rn. In both situations you've described, I relate to your children. And I'm thankful that I got to hear the perspective of a mother who gives and receives love differently than her children and doesn't always have the energy to be emotionally available. It kind of let me relate to my mother without any anger or biases I naturally have. Especially that I understand the pain of feeling too exhausted to be nice to people or want to be around people, bc even though I do usually seek company when stressed or depressed, I also get overstimulated sometimes and need everyone to leave me alone. I'm so glad that you approached the topic with self love, but without excuses, because as I understand that we all have different strengths and weaknesses, I don't like it when people don't work on themselves just because 'well, nobody's perfect'. Also, I totally enjoy listening to others' problems as well, and I also feel like it may sound weird, but at least it's useful haha.

Thank you so much for this video! I have a new foster daughter that is 4 years old and she is definitely exhibiting these trauma symptoms. I have her scheduled to start therapy next week so hopefully that will help her and help me be able to help her the best I can!

We have not been placed yet, but we did respite care a few weeks ago for a 3 year old and I noticed this in her. She right away started calling us "Mommy" and "Daddy" which I gently would remind her that I was Mrs Jessica and that she would see mommy in a few days. She would run up to people at church and hug them. All day she would constantly say "I just love you too much!" It was all very cute coming from a cute as a button 3 year old, but deffinantly felt odd at times. I had heard about this with some foster children, but could remember if it had a name. Thanks for the video!

Great information!

I heard you say the group is faith-based, is it open to queer families?

My grandson got adopted and his new mom has him on punishment from coming or being with me for 1.1/2 yrs now because of behavioral issues in school. He is 9 now. When he was a baby of 15 months I got him and my husband I fostered him for a 18 months, the bio mom got him back at 3 then at 4 my husband and I got him again. Emergency both times! We had been in the process of adoption at 5 yrs old. My husband died suddenly. Then he was in daycare and covid hit in kindergarten, he was behind by the end of kindergarten! My step son and his wife offered to help raise him. We were going to co-adopt. I was promised verbally if I let them adopt my only bio grandson, we could spend every weekend together . I agreed. For the first year they kept to the agreement. Now he is grounded all the time, I'm only allowed to come over to visit under her ( adoptive mom) watch and control. He is in mainstream school, every week he has behavioral problems in school. He is not getting any therapy! They have never taken him to the doctor and claim they put him on their health insurance. She has 2 bio younger kids is constantly telling him to be the example for her other two. He has losts both his bio parents, his two bio grandfather's, is not allowed to spend anytime with the bio family ( like me and on his bio moms side) so much past trauma! She tells me he can behave at home and can verbalize his actions, so she wants him to make better choices at school, which he has been able to do! On constant restrictions at home, if he blows it 1 of 5 days they won't allow him to do family activities. I'm deeply saddened by how he's being treated! She claims she has done all she can to help him? Is their anything I can suggest or do? Thank you

23:09 for sure swimming in the pool too, I just love pools lol

Imagine a family emoji here…

This was a lovely video. Stay blessed ❤