How to Know Your Faculty Advisor is Toxic! When to Know When to Change Advisors in Grad School

[@TheCinderellaPrincess]

What’s worse is someone who has the same sorts of identity with you. You may think you’re safe, but you’re not safe. All I’m saying is beware of Dr. Natanya Duncan.

[@BrisaMarie]

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences! It is soooo invaluable and can help people avoid the same pain you went through! Thank you!

[@dontran391]

My experience in the PhD Program was HORRIBLE due to I have to coexist with a Toxic PhD Advisor. My advisor was NEGLECTFUL, especially during the time I was in All But Dissertation (ABD) stage. I started my PhD Program in August 2013 & successfully reached ABD Stage on May 2017. On June 2018, my PhD Advisor "verbally" mentioned that my research goes well, that I no need to do any more laboratory work & focus on writing my dissertation & that I would anticipate to defend & graduate by December 2018 or December 2019 latemost & he told me that I should start my job/postdoc hunt campaign during that time. I believed him & put a lot of trust on him. BOY I WAS DUPED!!! HE CHANGED HIS MIND BY February 2019 & announced to me that I need to do more laboratory work! Things got toxic from there. Then 2020 happened with the COVID Pandemic. Fortunately I was given permission to return home during that time. But believe it or not, my advisor wasn't satisfy with my work & he was planning to have me come to campus during the time campus shut down during pandemic to do more experiments... Enough is enough, I filed a Complaint Report on my Advisor to the Title IX Dean. Thanks to the help of Title IX, where they got involved, I FINALLY defended my dissertation on December 2020 & got my PhD Degree on the mail on March 2021. That means, from the time my PhD Advisor verbally announced "promising result that I would graduate on 2018 or 2019" but actually I got my degree on March 2021, you can see how much Toxic things was on the way between me & my advisor. I'm not so sure if Rate My Professor works on rating my advisor since that website only works for him teaching undergraduates but not on him supervising PhD Students... However, recently, I just saw there's this website created by a PhD Student from UC Irvine to basically Rate the Professor in terms of Supervising PhD Students: it's called PI Review. Here's their website below: pi-review.com/about-us Please advertise PI Review to all other PhD Students out there to give a rating about their PhD Advisors. The goal of PI Review Website is to help inform Next Generation PhD Students which advisors to select based on the ratings of past PhD Student experiences. Therefore, please let other PhD Students know about PI-Review.com. We need more University Professor Ratings because Rate My Professor.com only helps Undergrad students but NOT help Graduate/PhD Students. Thanks for letting me share!

[@BrisaMarie]

Oh my goodness! I am so sorry you had to go through that! You did not deserve such a tough time at alll! I want to thank you for sharing your story. You have no idea how important it is for other future phd students who are trying to figure out what is normal or how to move forward! I really appreciate you and your transparency! I will be sure to share this information to as many people I can! Thank you again for commenting! It was really helpful and important!

[@dontran391]

@@BrisaMarie Thank you for your well-wishes & I do wish you the best in your PhD Campaign. Based on my experience, the #1 thing to a successful PhD experience is having a Good Healthy Interaction/Communication between the PhD Student & their PI. Both the PhD Student & the PI MUST respect each other's boundaries & both sides need to help each other out thru Good Communication & most of all Action from the things they communicate. My experience with the PhD Program was Toxic due to Lack of Communication. Added to the problem were when things get toxic, negative emotions do arise & Acting Out from the Negative Emotions only escalate the problems instead of resolving it. Lucky for me thanks to the Dean's help, I was able to get my PhD Degree in the end. Based on my experience, if the Dean didn't help me. Worse: if the Dean stand by my PI's side instead of really investigating the situation thoroughly, I may ended up getting expelled from the PhD Program... That nightmare was still traumatizing for me due to all the Politics going on in the Department. I do NOT want that nightmare happen for Future Generation PhD Students & especially don't want Future Generation PhD Students to suffer the same fate as I had... Therefore, I hope when we PhD Students & Alumni form a united front with sharing our stories & especially promote a New Professor Rating Website like pi-review.com, then we hopefully may help change our society in terms of creating a better work environment in ALL PhD Programs for the next generation.

[@glitcharcing]

Thank god for that website, I was hoping to make something similar when I had my first toxic experiences in academia about a year ago. Definitely a great idea.

[@dontran391]

@@glitcharcing please share that PI Review website to other currently enrolled PhD students as well as former PhD students you know. It's best for current & former PhD students to use that PI Review website to share their own experiences with their PhD advisor in order to help new next generation prospecting PhD students be aware of a professor's behavior & character before deciding to select that professor to be their PhD advisor.

[@simbarashetakawira713]

Its so true, I had a PHD advisor like that in Norway. I reported that guy to the faculty

[@BrisaMarie]

Good for you for reporting!!!! I am sorry that you had to experience this but it is soo inspiring that you stood up for yourself and reported them!

[@Rya852]

@@BrisaMarie girl Im in 4th year im still facing this toxic environment, 😭😭

[@Shasen589]

Unfortunately this is my masters experience. Yes masters not PhD. I have lost any confidence of even trying for slave labour of a PhD.

[@BrisaMarie]

I know it doesn't make it better, but you are not alone. many people experience this at all levels of academia. I am so sorry this is your experience you do not deserve to feel this way. And I hope that you are able to leave this experience and find support to not have to carry this bad experience with you forever!!! Thank you for sharing your experience and being so honest! I genuinely appreciate you! Your comment will help many others feel less alone!

[@erickalvarado4533]

The way I experienced every single one of these red flags. oof

[@BrisaMarie]

I am so sorry this is your experience. And though it doesn't fix anything at all, you are not alone! I do have a video on ways to deal with toxic faculty if that might be helpful! - kzbin.info/www/bejne/pGWcqKCMm96DoaMsi=omK_6Eb0UQVD_LWc

[@EastAfroEntertainment]

I wish I watched your videos before joining a grad school.

[@BrisaMarie]

Lol i am so sorry that i was too late! But maybe you can comment/share your experiences to help others? Lol Thank you for commenting!

[@EastAfroEntertainment]

Not fun at all. I will, after I leave this mess.

[@BrisaMarie]

I totally understand! Thank you so much!

[@poleli2748]

My advisor is on two and half month leave. All the department are starting to submit their thesis and when i reminded her about thesis submission deadline she's asking me to extend the semester just because she can't come on campus on time. I have been planning to prepare for PhD entrance exam. I have been through so much shit this year including a fire accident at home and lost everything but the way she's been treating bullying me, everytime I visit her chamber i feel horrible and everyone in the campus is so scared of her. Nobody can stand to her. My mates are even scared to see her face. At this point i am starting to have really low periods and i really don't want to extend my semester. I am willing to do anything to not get extended. I tried speaking to her but she's been bullying me to the point where i am isolated from everyone. I don't know what's tomorrow is going to be. I don't even know if I'll make it past this stage.

[@BrisaMarie]

Pole! I am so so sorry that you have to go through this! I can imagine just how isolating and stressful this can be. You don't deserve to have this experiences and they are being completely unfair. Every situation is different and I am sorry that I can't be more helpful. If I was in your case, I would talk to the chair of your department to see their perspective. They are responsible to help you mediate tension with faculty and help guide you through your process. I would also try to find your schools rule book (at ucla it's called the academic senate) they often have guidelines on how to switch advisor or steps to work around to progress through your degree program. Though I want to be transparent and say that the chair may not be helpful. So if you also have a graduate advisor or student representative you may want to talk to them to see what other options you have. I would also try to reach out to their other graduate students to see how they are moving forward in this time (if they have other students.) This video goes into more details on what you could do. But because your situation is so time sensitive I would definitely try to find someone to help mediate... but in a careful way so you don't upset your chair just in case it is very difficult to switch! Please keep me updated! I will continue to ask around to see how else you can be supported!

[@ecospuddies3676]

This was so informational! Thank you! I love your compassion to help others navigate through academia and life 💚

[@BrisaMarie]

Thank you so so much! I really appreciate all your encouragement! how are you doing ecospuddies?

[@ecospuddies3676]

Brisa Marie - Future PhD thank you for asking 🥺 I’m doing good! I recently started as a summer research assistant and am starting to feel a bit more confident about entering my PhD program!

[@BrisaMarie]

That's AMAZING!!! CONGRATS!!!!!

[@stevenfoster9402]

Thank you!! I start grad school in two weeks!!

[@BrisaMarie]

Oh my goodness! Of course! Congrats on grad school!!!! I really hope you love it! Let me know if you have any questions!

[@Melo_VoicesOfAnAngel]

how do you deal with gaslighting in the academia and toxic hierarchical research. If graduated students have a Stockholm Syndrome for appeasing culture, should you also receive such kind of culture if your not accustomed to such with your personal standards or morals of what educators should be. How to address this in academic settings who are fond of traumatizing learners for what they call standards.

[@BrisaMarie]

Academia can be toxic and gaslighting is real!! i think you are asking a lot of questions that are important but have many different answers. For me I try to separate myself form people that I think are mentally harmful. This sometimes has the consequence that things may be more difficult later in the future but to me its worth it. For others it may not be. I also noticed when you find a community of people who are not toxic it can actually make things easier so again to me its worth ditching the toxic people and replacing them with non-toxic people even if it is my advisor! i have a video that talks about how I suggest people handle switching their advisors and responding to toxicness but it may not be the best answer for you! Please always trust your gut! Heres the video! kzbin.info/www/bejne/pGWcqKCMm96DoaMsi=ocvcCqh5XjCORaen

[@jessicageller320]

too late , i am soo frustrated now

[@BrisaMarie]

Oh no!!! Im sorry, but I don't actually think it has to be roo late! I have this video that talks about what you can do if you hate your advisor. So maybe it can help relieve some of your frustration!! kzbin.info/www/bejne/pGWcqKCMm96DoaM If not! I'm always here!

[@jessicageller320]

@@BrisaMarie thank you very much this was very helpful! it is such a relieve to know that i am not alone in this situation.

[@BrisaMarie]

Oh it is SUPER COMMON. Unfortunately. I'm glad you commented though. So others also know they aren't alone!!! 💙 I'm glad my video helped a little... even if it didn't necessarily fix everything.

[@jessicageller320]

@@BrisaMarie 💙💙

[@johnpark1797]

Welp, that happened to me 😢

[@BrisaMarie]

I am so sorry to hear that! It never feels good to be in that situation. I know there really is anything I can say to help but there are ways/strategies to get around it. I've been there too... I mean technically I am still there hahah (thats why I have videos about it lol) but yeah... Please let me know if you have any questions I have a video on what to do after you realize your advisor is toxic, so maybe it can help? Here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/pGWcqKCMm96DoaMsi=ceBnf4EEcOgLJw8J

[@johnpark1797]

Thank You! You're characterization about advisor-advisee relationships is spot on. A faculty mentor, paritcularly if they are are primary one, can impose a significant effect on your mental health! Universities have a way with toying around with grad student's lives sometimes.@@BrisaMarie

[@BrisaMarie]

@johnpark1797 yes!!! It's sooo validating for me to hear the perspective from someone else who can relate!!! Thank you!

[@Moai2.0]

I cant do that all of my classmates love her but my advisor dosent like me i couldent report her SHE EVEN SCOLDS ME FOR NO REASON AT ALL her name is ma'am xandy even tho im grade 2 One of my classmates ARE SO DRAMATIC wen i just laughed to my self SHE CRYED IN THE EVENTS THEN I GOT SCOLDED FOR NO REASON AGAIN SHE EVEN SCOLDED ME WEN MY LOLO DIED translate my grandpa died😢 WEN SOMETHING FELL OFF SHE SCOLDS ME!!!!!!!

[@BrisaMarie]

I am so sorry to hear that you have had such a rough experience! You are definitely not alone... even when it feels you are alone. I don't know if I can give much advice because every school and context is unique but I do have another video that *might* be helpful because it shares strategies on how I navigated toxic mentors in the past... But it also may not. kzbin.info/www/bejne/pGWcqKCMm96DoaMsi=ZezyFh8EtWW76mk6 I hope that you able to find support!

[@erickpurpose]

💎

[@BrisaMarie]

Love you!!

[@Hellooooo766]

Very beautiful

[@BrisaMarie]

Thank you so much! Your comments always bring joy to my day!