How to Let Go of An Ex Who Is Rejecting You and is Bad for You | How to Stop Loving Your EX - #10

[@meggalvez2298]

When the wrong people leave your life, the right things start happening.

[@brookenicole6937]

Meg Galvez so true. Im prospering at work and getting a lot of recognition for all of my hard work!

[@paylopayne9357]

Sometimes depending on their resilience. If you become damaged you may become unmotivated and not so adamant to embark on goals that you had set previously before the relationship

[@wowster762]

@@paylopayne9357 fix that shit

[@sandraboseindiagestao]

@@paylopayne9357 True.

[@memoryrinehart]

@@paylopayne9357 Or you just may see sex as hideous after being rejected for another.

[@levelupwitharjun]

Whoever is reading this, lets fight okay?;) we can get thru this painful heartbreak! We can do this. And we deserve better!

[@kiranNiks]

Its really hard.

[@evelynburns8662]

Unbelievable. Ive been looking for this information for all my life. Ive cried out for so long. Every word she spoke talked to me. I want to get well feel complete, be me.

[@noelmorin8250]

Thank you

[@myriesalido9537]

Im tired of this feeling.

[@kiranNiks]

@@myriesalido9537 not yet. I also thought I'm tired. But may be i wasn't....coz i was in hope. When i let that go ...thats when i knew I'm mentally tired and there is no holding back. When you are actually tired. Thats where things start getting better. Then When you look from a distance you realise what you deserve. Hope you get there soon.🙏

[@dhaniblacrose6720]

I don’t wanna feel that pain ever again I rather be alone.

[@shanejones8598]

Me either, I am feeling that pain right now and I don’t want to let my barriers down ever again.

[@darkqueen3294]

Same. 12 days post break up and I can’t stop crying

[@dhaniblacrose6720]

You gonna get better it’s take time. STAY STRONG GOD ♥️ U

[@dhaniblacrose6720]

I’m focusing on myself this is a learning experience for me. I feeling much better day by day thank God.

[@JD-dv9kc]

The pain was crippling. After being in love for 2 years, she tells me we're done in a text. I was able to find her and confront her and learn she left me for another guy and didn't have the guts to tell me. Devastated but I told her to have a great life and walked away. Doesn't make it hurt any less

[@jkai17]

"it's not love, it's an addiction" something clicked when I heard that. This is the best video I've seen on obsessive thoughts for someone else by far. Thank you

[@danhiler9819]

I see an addition therapist Thursday over her .. I think your right

[@scottdunn2178]

If you don't love you... you'll always be chasing people who don't love you either...

[@40fit38]

WOW!!! This hits so hard and true!!!

[@michellec6445]

wow....never heard that before but it is SOOOO TRUE !!

[@theoneandonlyK01]

Best quote of 2020! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@billykaylee3574]

After a year of Broken marriage, my lover left me with one kid, I felt like ending it all, i almost committed suicide because he left us with nothing, i was emotionally down all this while. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr Anthony Abisogun which i met online who brought my Lover back to me. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I came across several of testimonies about Dr Anthony Abisogun Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,with any kinds of sickness, He is the best spell caster that can help you with any kind of problems like cure disease, Reading, Win court case spell, get Visa spell, get a job spell, promotion spell ,Lupus , HIV cure etc...you can inbox him on WhatsApp [phone] or email [e-mail]

[@billykaylee3574]

After a year of Broken marriage, my lover left me with one kid, I felt like ending it all, i almost committed suicide because he left us with nothing, i was emotionally down all this while. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr Anthony Abisogun which i met online who brought my Lover back to me. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I came across several of testimonies about Dr Anthony Abisogun Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,with any kinds of sickness, He is the best spell caster that can help you with any kind of problems like cure disease, Reading, Win court case spell, get Visa spell, get a job spell, promotion spell ,Lupus , HIV cure etc...you can inbox him on WhatsApp [phone] or email [e-mail]

[@sianmegginson8110]

Its like being addicted to misery.

[@thedovercc5339]

Sian Megginson Exactly

[@sanacole1543]

But, not realizing it, & actually rationalizing that the misery is,in fact, our relief.

[@decoy2636]

That's a good way to put it. I'm drawn to her like we have magnet's and then pull away like opposing magnet's are what we have. She knows exactly how to manipulate me. Why I am not consumed with hate and disgust I don't know, I love her instead.

[@tinablanchette465]

I think I am, I need to get help with this, she hit the nail on the head for me

[@tinablanchette465]

This makes sense to me it's like I'm addicted to being thrown away like garbage,it keeps triggering my PTSD

[@viciouskittykat]

One of the things that happens is, a covert narcissist does treat you well at first, they love bomb you, convince you that you do deserve to have someone treat you well... and then they discard you. So if you are already predisposed to co-dependency, the consequences are pretty devastating. Thank you for this video. It really helped.

[@controversykeyes227]

Well said. I felt this all the way

[@controversykeyes227]

@Monica Sabrin get out of here with this bullshit

[@topkat8268]

The narcissist is the most evil monster who uses & discards people. I don't feel that my childhood was lacking in love, yet l have codependency issues

[@maarja.kallaste]

@@topkat8268 I know what u mean, I feel I was loved too both by my parents and grandparents. But when I dig deeper I realized that my parents didn’t have very healthy relationship between themselves at my most tender years and also my dad and both grand dads were showing signs of alcoholism. So maybe you did also witness some broken or dysfunctional relationships when growing up that you may have imprinted... Best of luck to you, world is full of people, why to obsess over just one that doesn’t even see your worth.

[@tutululushop]

This is exactly what happened to me. I was spoiled and paid attn to for a month.. even taken on a 10,000 dollar trip and immediately after I was discarded for “a much younger woman” his exact words... I immediately blocked him.

[@SacredRevel]

There are so many videos out there on “how to win your ex back”, “how to get the guy” I feel lucky to have stumbled across this diamond in the rough. This is the deepest truth and may sting at first but it is so what we need to hear. This inner child healing work is hard. It’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever experience, but she’s right. It doesn’t get better. The best thing we can do for ourselves is to heal our core wounds. So many of us were not shown the love and presence that we needed in order to thrive. Generational pain is real. The patterns stops with us. We learn to reparent our inner child and we learn to parent our future children so this cycle reverses direction. Thank you so much for your honesty.

[@anewloveofficial9137]

Letting go of someone who means the world to you is a very difficult thing to do. No matter how bad he was, you still look for the positive things that he brought to your life. But loving alone isn't enough for a relationship to work. You should also think about yourself because life is too short to stay with the person who isn't capable of reciprocating your love.

[@annee7084]

True

[@user-vm7ky6dr1w]

A New Love Official so true

[@bernesemuir8022]

What u say about looking for good the hardest thing so true im so hurt and so stuck :(

[@tinablanchette465]

Yes definitely I try to find the good in every one and in the process I get thrown away like garbage, I am tired of feeling like garbage, I want to matter to some one

[@govindchetry3505]

@Lita it's pain not pian lol

[@bloodinthewater]

This hits me hard. I understand this intellectually, but emotionally it is taking FOREVER.

[@GMH9765]

Yesssssss, me too!!! My mind understands, but my whole system wants him back

[@ladennayoung2939]

I pray that you will be okay in Jesus name.

[@TracvM320]

I am sitting in my living room feeling sick because I understand this

[@amoyehenryprivate]

@@GMH9765 Sooooo real.

[@ceonimyers4511]

our minds and hearts work at different paces

[@Marc2016]

Thank you for this. You have described my situation uncannily. I now realize that I don’t really love my ex. I am just holding on for the affection I didn’t get as a child.

[@greentea-dg7ht]

Me too

[@Spooky_dookie123]

I hope one day I'm able to listen to this without a tear

[@olmedo3342]

are you okay now?

[@terpo9533]

so do i

[@Comzewebss]

Yes they don't miss you but they are missing to use you. they miss sleeping with you but they don't miss sleeping next to you. they don't miss walking with you but they miss walking over you. lets don't let anyone to hurt us more. it is the pain which can heal by the time but not by any medicine. hugs for all the people with pain.

[@cybco]

Perfect, and I'm sorry you suffered too. Talk about PAIN.......

[@mattieprice2849]

Comze Ecommerce solutions

[@timmywilcher2498]

Jessi if this is u im willing to do anything

[@loricrockett-owens5117]

Comze Ecommerce solutions right, but if god doesnt want them in your life, even if they might miss u, then god mshould say hey, they dont need to be in your life, u arent good for that person vice versa.

[@loricrockett-owens5117]

it shouldnt be someone hindering and thinking they are god saying dont speak to that person, the person that hinders has a god complex. they arent god.

[@carolloraine223]

Look yourself in the mirror. See how valuable you are. I see myself as a child and I tell the child..."I will protect you"!! We all deserve to be happy! Love yourself and move on!

[@godswarrior2952]

Thank you for your comment

[@barbarariley3488]

That is a very wise thing to do. Protect that precious child in you.

[@svasianfilipiname6603]

Even if you're not a child you should STILL protect yourself. You are STILL the same person 1- or 91 doesn't matter but I guess it's because children tend to be more stupid with things in life..

[@tinablanchette465]

I need to do what Loraine does and see if it works for me

[@tinablanchette465]

Carol Loraine not Loraine sorry for the typo Carol Loraine I can hardly see because I am crying and hurting so much

[@fromwatercamefire]

This helped me so much tonight. With my high school sweetheart since 16. 16 yrs later we’ve been married for over 10rys. 2 kids. A home. He’s cheated off and on through our relationship and I kept hoping he’d change but this last time was the last time. He left on his birthday after exposing yet another affair. He wants freedom and truly feels our entire relationship has been forced and that all I wanted was to control him. That used to hurt me until I found God, entered ministry, and did a LOT of inner healing. Now I see him for what he really is. A covert narcissist who will never own up to his stuff. He’s not concerned with how his actions affect anyone else. The kids, me, our family. No, he feels justified because he suffered a long and unwanted relationship. The things we tell ourselves can be life or death. Now, I know that our relationship was built on co dependency. He wanted the image of being a great person, a beautiful life, a family man. We were just the cover for who he truly is and he did whatever he needed to do to keep his cover until he finally broke and couldn’t hide himself anymore. He’s on his way to rock bottom. Sure, I love him. I think I always will because he’s my first love and father of my children but he’s absolutely toxic, vindictive, and seriously out of his mind with the way he navigates this. I filed for divorce 2 weeks after he left and was so proud of myself. That set him off... yet he doesn’t want to be with me... calls me ugly... but don’t want me to divorce him and doesn’t want me to date?! My eyes are so open now. The old me would have crumbled at that and thought that he must love me if he doesn’t want me to move on. NO. He’s selfish and doesn’t want to see me ok or moving on from him because he gets satisfaction out of me suffering and pining for him. No more. This video gave me so much strength tonight as I was crying that he ditched our kids to go meet up with one of his side pieces and I realize that this man is just lost and isn’t capable of being a decent person right now. It’s just the hard truth. It’s not my fault. I’m beautiful. I’m talented. I’m worthy of love and I can do this alone. So can you. ❤️

[@nancyschmitz9236]

For 10 years he cheated, did some really bad things to me and I still wanted him back. Now I have work to do on me. Thank you!

[@stephaniemax9333]

I know a strong and spiritual one who can help you with a love spell

[@shawnn5213]

God Bless you Nancy. You are better and more valuable than being cheated on. Sorry for your hurt. Allow God to heal you and let Him truly show you how valuable you are in our Father’s eyes.

[@armandomorales9059]

I feel your pain girl went through the same s*** with my ex that was cheating on me I just want to get her back .I wouldn't want anyone to ever go thru this pain! it's like someone stabbed you in the ❤️ god it hurts!

[@sayusayme7729]

I tried too, thankful I left. 🦋🙏🏻♥️

[@armandomorales9059]

@@stephaniemax9333 who can help

[@caribbeanjewel2699]

Note to Self:" Loving someone else to your detriment is not love, it is sickness!!!"

[@katsadventures7027]

Boy is this the truth and I am facing it now and had been for 15 years. I literally get ill around the ex. Check out this dream I had about 7 years ago now maybe little more. In the dream my deceased grand dad visited me. Hovering over me he said in a stern voice "Do you want to live or do you want to die" "Your not taking care of yourself" "Yes I am Grammpy" "No your not!!" he said, "and that guy your with get rid of him he don't care!!!!!" I have always believed my dreams cause I always have dreams that come to pass and are always right on point. Still as much as this dream shook me and I woke calling the ex we have to just be friends. Well as you see I didn't listen and boy I have gone through hell like we all have. Happy Holidays Blessings to you.

[@jeremys.jamesakajdawg1love349]

So is lying and manipulating people to make them think your a person they or someone else could value and trust. When life feelings financial status age and even your past is all fabricated just to sleep with someone and who does this as a pattern to multiple people who puts them in danger and others life without consideration dictates the terrible you are inside.

[@JustineMfulama]

EXACTLY! You need to love yourself enough to put yourself first!

[@carriedillmann4455]

JJ James I don’t understand what you are saying ?

[@robinwhittle8375]

@@carriedillmann4455go

[@getinspired532]

Toxic relationship are so addictive and we keep going back for more

[@Caribbeana]

Like trying and hoping to change them trying to prove a point subconsciously

[@QuantumMind88]

Yes exactly! Give me more!

[@denisechua7820]

This is so true. :(

[@jdashlovela]

but why... I'm on and off with a narcissist its hard

[@carolbarrios2642]

Fem Virgo! Me.

[@kristynblunck8372]

I seriously cried watching this because it’s so spot on for me it’s crazy. Thank you for helping me see it. I really really needed to hear this tonight.

[@danhiler9819]

Yes

[@bra35486]

Oh my, this sounds so much like my current state. I had no idea. I am searching for an answer. When you think you wait your whole life for this one person, they come in and then they don't love you like you love them, it really hurts. Now, I am trying to get through it by a clean break. But, I still think about her all the time. Good luck to all the others out there watching this. I feel your pain.

[@SelfLoveU]

Exactly!!

[@sunnylittlejoshine]

Going through the same " Its tough ' glad I came across this today xxx

[@cliveboyden2163]

I think I was no longer in love but chugging along. Working hard hoping things would improve. Simp behaviour hard to admit & but it's true. Co dependency was in full flow. I have to work on my inner child bruised from childhood separation. But if you met someone with similar issues it's a disaster! Good luck to everyone here! This pain & hurt is awful!

[@jenniferlopez5565]

Letting go of someone who's treat you like crap is the hardest

[@jenniferlopez5565]

Treats*

[@kmlm13]

Jennifer, or the emotionally unavailable, it's messed up.

[@thruthseeker2014]

Jennifer in some cases can be hard yes be blessed all.

[@moyvuong2316]

not really!! if they treat u like crap, means they love u????

[@juang6327]

It sux

[@sadiejackson5320]

Day 6 after breakup...Listening to this everyday to remind myself he does not care about me. I'm not making a fool of myself this time round. Thank you for teaching us what real love isn't ❤

[@AnnaliseandKaitlyn]

I’m in the same boat as you, so know that you are not alone! It’s not easy, but through time we will learn to manage and heal. I’m learning too not to tolerate bad behavior from those who “claim” to love me. Instead, I’m putting forth my energy into myself, God, and those who actually value and respect me. I wish you all the best during this difficult time 💖

[@vickymugambi4816]

I pray for your heart. May you find peace, may you find love, may you find abundance, may you find joy... That's what I pray for myself too, may we find that which is meant for us

[@sadiejackson5320]

@@vickymugambi4816 thankyou ❤. I wish the same for you 🙂 x

[@boyrenaissance8043]

Hey Sadie, I'm creating a course that leads you through break up grief step by step but im not sure if anyone would be interested, can you please let me know if you'd do a course similar to this but with heaps of videos on different stages of breakup grief?

[@shoutitonthehousetop]

Update,how are you doing ?

[@famousfinalscene]

It's not them you want. Its love!! No one likes being rejected. No one wants to know they are not relevant. Let go of anyone who doesn't return your love, or doesn't see you as relevant. If they reject you, they don't want you.

[@risseroe]

I know how it feels to think the cycle will never end. Leaving him seems IMPOSSIBLE.. but over time, his/ her toxic traits will show worse and worse everyday. And you’ll just become an unhappy individual all the time.

[@aridrelex]

I had to play this several times. Just ended a 3 year relationship with a covert narcissist. Detoxing sucks.

[@bumblebee6938]

Im in the same position. Broke up after 4 years. Wish you the best and stay strong. ♡

[@aridrelex]

Everyone is guessing I’ll go right back. Ugh gotta fight this

[@SelfLoveU]

stay strong!

[@ladennayoung2939]

I pray that you are okay in Jesus name.

[@ladennayoung2939]

@@aridrelex I pray your strength in the Lord. It is challenging, but I know that you can do it. I know that it is worth it.

[@jamieseiple]

Sometimes people think abuse is love...when it's all they have known.

[@harleydarling361]

"I, just got out of an abusive relationship. And, I had to ruin his life to save mine. ", I called the cops but, "I, also told myself, "I was used to it. So, I kept, going back. "But, I got the courage to leave and call the cops. "I, had to army crawl and hold.my breath he didn't just strangle me. Oh, yeah he'd.pick.me.up as if I was some.kimda fking toy and throw.me.at the wall. 😔😣😑😡😭💔 Like, a.total fking douchebag. He, drugged me as well. With LSD, ketamine, cocaine and laced weed. "He's a piece of CRAP. Mind you, "I, have learning disabilities, have had siezures as a baby. And got spinal miningitus and bettastredt as a baby. . Which all almost killed me I should be retarted or dead but I'm niether. "So, I thank the Lord for that. Idk what else saved me especially being drugged with Ketamine. And that's a fking horse tranquilizer. It felt like each one of my fingers were being split right down the middle with a scalple. " I, started hallucinating saying did you hear that? Did you see that? Pointing at total strangers out in public. Oh yeah he took me everywhere like that. It was fking sad, humiliating. , Sick. He's put me in this yes, no , okay trance that's the only 3 words I was saying I wasn't even speaking how I am now. My personality was completely GONE. "So, that idiot could have killed me. Fucked UP thing is that his BITCH MOTHER allowed this to go on, since Nov. 8th of last year. 8 whole months.😈 She's such a dumb BITCH. Now, I'm afraid of everything. And, my dad just made me more unconfident saying, "I, have NO Idea how the world works. It sucks having learning disabilities. And having a drug dealer as a BF that drugs and strangles you everyday. And picks you up like and object and throws you at the fking wall like a TOY. " But that's my dumb ass for dating him not knowing what I was in for. "Then, blames you for touching his drug box when, "I, couldn't even reach it. Because, he's 6 foot. And. Only 5'3 very short. Lol, he's such a fking idiot. " I, was sitting on the bed the whole danm time watching him. He'd say too me did you touch me box you stupid bitch? I'd just say no I was sitting on the bed the whole fking time. You god damn lunatic. 😂😒🤦 "But, I had to.fight for myself. He stabbed me a thousand times, and then acted like he was the one bleeding. Not literally, but sure did feel Like it. Treated me like a fucking object. Like a toy. Fucking piece of of shit. He's the WORST man "I've Ever dated. Reminds me of my abusive father. Now I'm teffified of everything. 😭💘💔 He was basically gas lighting me. He didn't just do that he pulled me down by legs and strangled me. Then threw me at the wall. Every day. Blamed me for everything when I was sitting on the bed the whole fucking time watching him touch his stupid drug box. Piece Of Fucking Shit.😈😤💔😭 FUCK him and his mother. All I could tell him was, " I, hope someone blows your fucking head off because I was so pissed . He, littereally almost killed me. 😔😭💔 So, those of you who don't believe in God or angels, " I, suggest you do. " I, can not believe , I even loved a man that much to even go back to him or beg him to not leave me. " But I did. Like a dumb bitch. NEVER again will I do that. " I deserve so much better. And I'm way to good for his sorry ass. " I, hope he has fun paying my charges the rest of my life. Because he's the one who made those choices and decided to do all that like a fking idiot. " But, that's okay because I'm free now. And I know I saved some other poor girl from getting her ass beat up and down a wall and drugged and strangled. " We can NEVER forget the pain. But, we sure can stand together and stop it. For every man or women this happens to because it's not always just women. But, men to who suffer. "All, I seem to believe now I'd that there's no good men out there now. After all that but my mom says that's not true. "Hopefully, I find one. " But, so far I've just been working on myself and my healing stages. " I, know it's wrong to wish bad on ppl but, anyone feel that way especially if they saw what I, had to go through " Oh, yeah he's also grab my fave as if I was his child and say LOOk AT ME, WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU! I'd just squel. Because it was terrifying. People ask why do you stay? Why don't you just leave? "Well, I tried truth is it's very dangerous to leave a situation like this it's way too much trauma. It, leaves you in pure shock. All I could say after it was all over was it's my fault, it's my fault, it's my fault. Over and over again just like that. 😔😣😭💔 " I can't even begin to explain the torture and pain him and his friends subjected me too. It was just way too much.

[@veep5712]

Very Sad how abusive people are to others. Don't let it "work" on you and steal your the life ahead of you.

[@namastewellness]

That's the only wag that happens. Thinking abuse is love is never innate. Just watch 👶 or 🐶 try to console someone the think/sense is hurt 🤕 or feeling sad. They will naturally try to help the person feel better. We're naturally wired to want to treat and be treated with kindness and respect. It's conditioning that makes us think 🤔 anything less is 🆗 and even normal.

[@bridgetmenham5103]

I used to say that about my violent relationship when I first moved out of the family home .I said I thought it was love and people said at the time maybe I didn't know what real love was and felt unworthy that's why I lived with that guy .but one day a light came to me and I realised I had to leave while he wasn't there xx

[@veep5712]

Some people intrinsically always knew their family was fucked up because they were always so much happier without them.

[@sayusayme7729]

I was in a relationship with unmet childhood needs, when I left I realized we both had been learning how to love. We are friends and have survived the hell. I was codependent for sure, he was definitely a narcissist. We both learned so much about why we’re the way we were. Grateful for the lessons 🦋

[@TimStJohn-xp8rv]

Are you still together?

[@taylorbee4010]

I'm really hoping me and mine can get to that point too. I still can't get over her but I want us to be friends because honestly just getting ice cream together would be so much better than all the bad times in the relationship

[@kimgordon3695]

open communication & facing facts

[@teeteetube7239]

I love this video I feel like she is talking to me I am in love with a toxic individual and I am obsessed thinking about him I need help because I am so sad but I feel better it's been about a week but her video I've watched it like three times and it's help me so much cuz I don't feel like I'm the only person who's gone through this

[@MsDianneMaryWilkerson]

when you ignore someone that has hurt you for 30 days and work on your mind to know your worth then you will understand this person is not in their right mind and they need to learn their worth as well.

[@MsDianneMaryWilkerson]

@Henry Anderson not how he is because he does not know his worth so he is worthless to anyone that comes in his path.

[@cassandramotley8470]

Amen

[@stephaniemax9333]

@@MsDianneMaryWilkerson I know a strong and spiritual one who can help you bring your Ex back

[@MsDianneMaryWilkerson]

@@stephaniemax9333 nah I'm good

[@davidjennifer3552]

I got back my ex husband with the help of a powerful Man and it works very fast and I believe he can help you too whatasApp +2.3.4.8.1.1.5.3.5.8.0.0.8 Email him via [e-mail]

[@helenjohnston7025]

Do not beat yourself up for having this issue recognize that it is not love and that one day u won't care anymore

[@ExpressionsofAwakening]

Yes, I was beating myself up but I realize now that I do feel I am over him, that I was grieving the loss of him while still having some attachment. Yes it takes time, be gentle with yourself as you say and if you are clear that you will heal, it will happen someday for sure.

[@LJohn-lz9pg]

@@ExpressionsofAwakening I feel like i start grieving the loss of the person while i am still with them... best way i can describe it. I feel so confused and sad that i probably have messed my daughter up whom is now almost 17😓

[@juneburns1565]

I hope so

[@trevoreaston5096]

@@LJohn-lz9pg Unless your daughter is an "imprint" of you ,children adapt as we all have they take what they need from what we told them worked and didnt work in our lives. Staying in a toxic pool will mess them up .In my experiences its the Humans who bring life to earth "against there will and choice" and then fight for custody etc Love my ex same as day one just taking different paths in life. Day one bringing a child to this place was an agreement never broken 50% 50% People change thats whats makes you ,you and I , Me Childhood bullshit My kids dont even know anything changed except Dads house and Moms. Teaching me about Hitler in school did enough damage for such a vile person we still teach kids that shit. Just like racism my kids have no idea but unfortunately they will learn it in school as we drag it on for another 100 years

[@Msjuju20131]

Thank you

[@itsmissmia]

Wow! I knew I had abandonment issues due to my sperm donor/dad not being a consistent person in my life but you really brought my constant struggle in relationships to light. "It's that love you needed when you were a child", "what you're really needing to let go of is that unmet need." Thank you so much for your enlightening wisdom.

[@freemind222]

Needed to hear this going through a tough time here, hurting badly... And yes she's definitely not good for me at all and for some reason all I want was her acceptance and love. No matter how much I help or everything I've done she puts me down. I'm starting to feel like a different person then who I used to be and used to like... I don't like myself with her and I need to freaking stop this madness!!!

[@jonesfredrick94]

Yeah doctor you must maintain your sanity, I'm going thru it too. Waking up thinking about her I hate it but I'm staying no contact. And changed my number, hope that helps you

[@aarilackey702]

Man I just cried while watching this cause everything she said was literally spot on

[@JustineMfulama]

Oh wow that's hard. But now that you know you can take the right steps to avoid it in the future.

[@ladennayoung2939]

Yes it was.

[@ladennayoung2939]

It is such a wonderful video. I can't believe this was made five years ago, but so relevant for my current situation.

[@samiamtheremixllc3933]

Me too I feel alot better too

[@TS-ew1ng]

I was crying 😢 to,I found myself in everything what she says 😭

[@cybco]

16:00 min. "Once you unhook your worth from this person", This is HUGE!!!!! What a GOLD NUGGET!!!

[@angelnative9267]

cryptocoinscafe Because we are worth it!!! Sending you love & light.

[@shawnnadavis3769]

I love this i just got out of a bad relationship today i was with him for 10 years , i was so in love with him an blind to the fact that he was cheating on me over an over, i would say to myself that he will change but he didn't an i keep giving 100% an he was give 20%. i am ready to start over and move on from his toxic ass .

[@victoriahill5727]

Going through the same thing and i hope and i hope your doing fine sis❤👌🤙🙌👊we got this

[@iamu2247]

"the people around you are a reflection of what you need". Wow those are some words to ponder upon

[@natmatiuk]

Brilliant. Co-dependents/Love addicts 99% of the time attract Narcissists and narcissistic abuse in relationships. Such a deep seeded pattern that leaves the vulnerable co-dependent/love addict a victim of an incredible eroding of self worth from the narc. An eroding of self worth which feels painful yet comfortable given the co-dependents upbringing. I am still attempting to let go of my narc. And to learn how to respect and love myself. I wish anyone in the same position the very best. It sometimes feels completely out of our control.

[@MoorenaEl]

OMG I'm not sure who's more amazing: the speaker on this video or the commenters!!!! So many blessings to you all.

[@bridgetmenham5103]

She's a natural on this vid xx

[@katsadventures7027]

This I feel is Jenna's divine purpose on this planet. I just got chills!! God Bless her and all of us.

[@shadesofsky5109]

I am somebody and I’m worth being treated well❤️

[@QueenPattyLLC]

In my opinion, this is one of the most eye opening videos on why we date the people we do and how we can truly break the cycle that really started back in childhood. Totally transforming! Thank you!!!

[@samsmile5201]

I don't know how drug addicted people feel when they don't take it but I know the feelings when every part of my body screams to call my ex 😭😭it's really hard

[@hiuller]

Are you sure you miss her? I mean, have you considered the possibility that you miss a fictional character you created in your mind that is not really her (I assume it's her, if not, sorry)

[@samsmile5201]

Hiuller Araujo its her bro,it's definitely her,I have no family and frnds all I had that was her now God has taken her from me because am not white bro,u don't know how that feels when ur whole body starts shaking when it's time to call her or u wake up in the middle of the night screaming her name or u simply can't just sleep😭😭😭

[@samsmile5201]

youarecreators3 am so over her bro but still am living in the world of anger.it's been two months I found out everything she told me was lie, she is a fucking narcissist,she cheated on me with one of my friends.I want to get revenge on her.I wouldn't feel this great if I didn't take revenge on her.I can't believe she could do that to me.

[@samsmile5201]

youarecreators3 trust me she is paying real bad for everything she did to me.But am not yet finished with her.thanks a lot bro

[@samsmile5201]

youarecreators3 have you ever been betrayed or cheated upon bro?

[@roxiethomas2392]

It's like a death, Give them a Funeral

[@preciousperez7324]

Roxie Thomas Yes! The feeling of emptiness is real

[@cassandramotley8470]

Amen

[@ethnocentricfun991]

@None Ya and cement the lid

[@hollygamble15]

Saw my ex at Walmart and was legitimately shocked. Convinced myself this boy was dead fr oops 😂

[@rohamp4223]

Right on

[@AXAWELLNESS]

“You are taking your good qualities that you don’t want to see and projecting it on to them. Those qualities are not in your ex- they are in YOU.” Powerful.

[@alexislaura9487]

Hello do you need help on how to get your ex back

[@alexislaura9487]

I can recommend you to this love specialist who helped me restore my ex husband back after 5years of divorce

[@alexislaura9487]

The love specilaist can help you get your ex back just as he helped me

[@alexislaura9487]

✝1⃣2⃣0⃣4⃣5⃣0⃣0⃣1⃣6⃣6⃣2⃣

[@kuromi3z]

why did this provide me more therapy and insight than 5 hospital visits i-

[@beadingandcraftsbycha]

Imagine how much love you can give to the right person🤩

[@HisaLight2mypath]

I don't think I can give another man another chance I think I need to love my pet cats and my daughter instead forget everyone else

[@jonesfredrick94]

@@HisaLight2mypath I feel you but. Take all the time you need, I'm in your same position right now

[@caliterp8668]

Lol. I loved that part. "He left you watching how to let go of ex on KZbin " lol

[@aleesanaaz9290]

me too 😍😘🙋

[@straightthugginthuggin]

right 😂😂😂😂

[@poochplace9511]

Me too, literally laughed out loud, only because that is so me!

[@armhay1981]

Ouch lol

[@casinoquantv4415]

Yea me to that part hit me hard

[@Atoki]

My boyfriend of 14 years left me a day before valentines day. I thought that once the COVID-19 lockdown was lifted, that he'd come back, but he never did. Im now trying to start my journey to healing but I didnt know where to start. Needless to say, I cried when I realised that my childhood has a lot to do with it. My childhood is something I've learnt to block out after my mum passed away when I was a kid and the family dynamics turned to shit. I didnt think my past was worth re-visiting until I watched your video. It's some powerful stuff and I'm so grateful that I found it. Now I just gotta find a therapist. Thank you

[@user-oe2jt2oe2j]

Me too atoki, blessings and hugs 🙏💜

[@HisaLight2mypath]

Did he come back?

[@russellfarnham5522]

Being a foster child my whole life this is sooo 100% true. Always wanting external love. Sucks to grow up with no one loving you and you keep looking and looking and needing. You will want to love someone no matter what they do.

[@Cheryn77]

,100% lost my parents early in life

[@HisaLight2mypath]

Exactly the same for me I had inconsistent caregivers and all I do is constantly seek men for validation.

[@Cheryn77]

@@HisaLight2mypath are u scorp with aquarius

[@HisaLight2mypath]

@@Cheryn77 no he's a Virgo and I am a libra. It wasn't a long relationship but he rejected me and now I have to deal with the pain as usual.

[@SelfLoveU]

Totally sucks! But you can heal and love yourself.

[@cherrydiva1]

One other thing is when u grow up watching your mom stay in a bad relationship. I think that's actually one of the biggest childhood subconsciously engraved reason for this destructive pattern.

[@leesuh87]

I concur ! That's what happen to me!

[@jluke7440]

cherrydiva1 I wonder if that works on boys too cause my mom stayed in a horrible relationship and now I usually end up with woman who are self centered,controlling and manipulating 😳

[@TheEanorth]

It happens to both sexes.

[@cherrydiva1]

J Luke yes both sexes can be victims

[@samanthafoster6087]

cherrydiva1 yes thay was my childhood. . I think I need therapy badly

[@michelleedwards9996]

God...I wish I would have watched this video months ago before putting myself in debt reading with psychics all telling me "he loves you, he wants to come back but he needs to work on himself and so do you".....everything I needed to hear in one passionate video for free. You are going to be blessed madam. THANK you for the time and energy you spent helping thousands of people without scamming broken hearts in the process.

[@a.2419]

Amen smh

[@angelnative9267]

Michelle Edwards I Concur.👍

[@gregorydorrell5543]

Don’t worry about it move on with your life if you can I’m sure there’s a lot of fun to be had for you in this world God bless

[@mandyarrowsmith1264]

Your amazing at the age of 45 I cannot say how happy I feel knowing this it makes sense to me now..... finally, Thankyou ❤️❤️❤️

[@levetleighhouse2629]

I met this guy. I quickly became hooked on him sexually, emotionally and socially. I was crazy in love with him, and thought he was with me. I told him I loved him, and his reply was, he didn't love me, had not loved his ex and didn't he even knew what love was. WHY DIDN'T RUN? I then had SIX YEARS of torture, being hooked, obsessed, crying, being scared of being dumped, tolerating bad behaviour, lack of respect, cheating, constantly hurting my feelings. If a man says he doesn't love you BELIEVE HIM AND RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

[@OldSchoolStrength]

Ted Bundy- Fuckin made me laugh! :D

[@JasKhalid]

Wow. Thank you for sharing

[@talesfromthenarcside8543]

My story exactly. I couldn't say no to a man who never loved me for three years. Just starting over with nothingness

[@OldSchoolStrength]

Lol wow getting a little bit over emotional aren't we? Is this what you were like with the ex? I can see now why he didn't give a shit about you haha... By the way Darling, nobody gives a shit about what you have to say or how you feel emotionally.. You are just an object to us men, and always will be.. I wish you all the best on a very very long and pointless journey to find " MR RIGHT" LOL... Maybe you're better off sticking to watching Disney films and crying yourself every night?Bye sweetheart :)

[@OldSchoolStrength]

LOL! your comebacks made me laugh.. Well he obviously saw something in you he didn't like? You sound like another bitch playing sweet little innocent victim that never did anything wrong.. I'd like to hear his side of the story.. Maybe you were just shit in bed? Most men cheat because their Girlfriends are crap in bed.. Sorry to upset you sweetie pie but he's off fucking the next girl and enjoying life getting his tip wet and you're on here crying like a little girl lol.. Maybe you should just move on with your life, we all know he has :)

[@hernandezannette36]

I suffered physical abuse and was abandoned as a child. Now in my 40s I'm recognizing that I've never had a healthy relationship. Going through another break up from a Mr Unavailable again! Thank you for this video. I have watched it multiple times. My heart is aching terribly but this video is helping me understand. Thank you!

[@boxelder9167]

Same here! It sucks. Always wishing they would change and love us back the way we loved them and they look at us like we are weak and pathetic and deserving to be exploited.

[@boitumelogabashane8003]

That's makes the 2 of us 😢💔

[@boxelder9167]

Boitumelo Gabashane - I think you are probably a really amazing person just waiting to be discovered and you could really have an exciting journey of discovering yourself first. You deserve to be loved back the way that you love others and don’t settle for toxic people who don’t appreciate and cherish the richness of your innermost self. Be with people who celebrate you for who you are.

[@lianab284]

I suggest you look up Alan Robarge

[@tinablanchette465]

Same here,it wasn't them that was the problem I have PTSD because of physical and mental abuse from a long term relationship and in my childhood from my parents, and I have always felt that I could not ever do anything right

[@jmariejazzy2009]

I really think you’re ability to deliver such a invaluable lesson in such a relatable, positive and non judgmental way is amazing. You’re spot on and this has really positioned me in the right direction moving forward.

[@SelfLoveU]

Yayee! Join me for coaching. selfloveu.net/

[@sofja5853]

Face the fact that parents were full of it, they neglected you and crushed your soul. Then healing begins.....

[@twist3dlogic89]

I keep coming back to this video because every time I miss my ex and want to tell her how I feel, I need to stop myself. I need to remember that she's moved on, she's rejecting me, and sometimes she's just using me regardless of how it would make me feel. I need to remember that I have to stop giving so much of my love to her, and start loving myself. Because I'm being sick and co-dependent. It's hard, because I gave so much of my love to her. She was everything I ever wanted, but now she's gone. And it sucks because it's hard moving on. It's hard to find someone who you can have that connection with. I'm being to think that maybe all the good women are gone. But I guess, reading some of these comments, maybe there aren't all gone, maybe they are just going through the same thing as I am right now.

[@nursenurse7026]

Old School what the hell? It’s true that co dependents draw abusive people like you.

[@ripshannon]

twist3dlogic89 going through the same thing:/ yeah lets just keep reminding ourselves of the truth with these videos..hope you're hanging in there well mate

[@Pragnantweggyboard]

Old School MGTOW isn't wanted or needed here.

[@chrisj5816]

i felt this man... any updates on how you’re doing now?

[@WatchtheWaters12]

twist3dlogic89 I know exactly how you feel because I’ve done the same. It’s hurts so much to give someone you love everything you have only to be rejected and abandoned. There’s plenty of women in the same boat, so please don’t ever give up on finding someone that deserves you. And don’t listen to the fuckwit saying don’t ever get married or have kids. He’s got bigger issues than us!! It takes a real man big balls to put his heart on the line for someone he loves. Is coward like that dickhead that are so damaged they’re not capable of loving anyone except themselves. Just remember that you’ll make a special woman very happy one day and she’ll be lucky to have you. 😊

[@1986nitya]

It is scary how MUCH one's relationship with parents affects one's relationships with a romantic partner. Which explains why it is important to be a stable parent and partner with someone who can be a stable parent.

[@karanfield4229]

Nitya so true. I wish I knew that as a young parent. It'd make so much difference. Maybe teaching in highschool would be a start.

[@RachyNoodleNest]

I was neglected as a child and my mother is the most cruelest narcissist. I begged and pleaded as a child for her to stop ignoring me or to hug me. When I met my ex of 7 years I genuinely believed that this was my prize for all the pain. On the surface he seems so gentle and kind and loving but I never got to know his true colours until he stopped loving me and he neglected me more than my mother did. I haven't chased him at all but every nerve in my body is pinning for him BUT he doesn't love me and I'm way better without him. He's with someone else now only 2.5 months after we split. My priorities at the moment are selling our house we own together and looking after our dog. He's left me to deal with it all on my own.

[@artsguru1784]

40 years hanging on and replaying the heartbreak in an endless loop. Just starting to tackle it head-on.

[@stephaniemax9333]

I know a very strong and powerful man who helped me bring back my Ex husband who has left me for years now my Ex husband is back to me, contact him via WhatsApp:[phone] if you need any help his works are very effective

[@oliviamoreno-carlson271]

I caught this video by chance. This was what I needed to hear. This is what I am dealing with. I like when you got serious.

[@lenab.6714]

Same here, trying to let go

[@JustineMfulama]

So true!!!

[@cassandramotley8470]

This was for me , thank you, well said

[@Sameoldfitup]

"We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell." Oscar Wilde.

[@kaylenreagan5675]

We r as sick as the secrets we all keep ....

[@gaylebyrne5839]

Wow I am 71 and after listening to you it all falls into place, all of it. I am amazed you have a wonderful gift. I have listened over and over to what is wrong with me. I never realised why I pick bastards and let the ones who love me go. Thank you so much, so very much.

[@Ipdex]

Gayle, I'm a 63yr old bloke and have it done it all my life. The only time I found somebody who loved me for me I rejected and ran back to the woman who ended up stabbing me in my own kitchen and thereafter getting my house as I had to give it to her to protect my daughter's house. A long and very sad story. Best wishes to you.

[@gaylebyrne5839]

@@Ipdex All the best to you too.

[@Myronda]

Sadly, yes literally spits on me. I miss him and thank you for this video. Makes sense that it all stems from childhood trauma. I'm gonna work on me

[@kgfit1777]

Letting go of the past relationship paves the way to a healthier and better future to a significant other who will love you, value you for who you are inside and out.

[@bridgetmenham5103]

People need to have a relationship with thierselfs and have a break ..but question I feel I can fancy a guy with all the good bits of each good part of every relationship .....and is wrong to fancy guys with the same looks .??.I feel being attracted to a look comes first then get over them quick if thier personality is not attractive ....

[@hemrajmagar3449]

I still love her so much.. but I ll move on rather then begging for love

[@hanal510]

Hemraj Magar i love him so much but he made me feel unwanted 😩

[@GabrielXDrums]

Ann L :( I’m sorry, I loved my ex but she wasn’t appreciative and she got physically violent when I tried to give her wonderful moments... then she left out of the blue and cheated on me with a guy she met at the gym.... I don’t know how or why I still miss her

[@angelamatthews4715]

This is me. I told my ex. "if you are okay without me in your life...I am going to be okay with not in your life." It hurt that he didn't fight for the relationship but I am not begging anyone to be with me. Now he has the audacity to be mad.

[@msskiss4267]

When you love someone soo much and that love is not in alignment and your constantly feeling rejected it's time to let go😑 It hurts immensely

[@stephaniemax9333]

I know a strong and spiritual one who can help you bring your Ex back

[@loveflickx369]

I needed to hear this ❤️ I just need love as an adult I didn’t get as a child and I let someone abuse me so much to feel loved ,..then you miss them & chase them back even though they abused you so much.,.i have ended the relationship yesterday I want to stay strong this time and go forward ❤️

[@loveflickx369]

Just Today Thankyou you have no idea what your message just did for me ❤️ it’s hard looking weak & pathetic pining after an abusing relationship to friends so I don’t let it out so to be able to here this from someone else right now is great. I know i need to love myself first & heal else I will keep this cycle of chasing destructive relationships to validate me . ❤️

[@HisaLight2mypath]

How are you doing? Did you manage to stay away

[@samm6603]

I don’t think you can imagine the effect of your videos to a person that can’t afford therapy. Thank you so so so much for your videos. 🙏

[@kimberlys4075]

For the past seven months I have struggled with my emotions over a breakup and the rejection. This is the first video I have watched that really gave me insight hopefully leading to recovery. Thank you.

[@kiringuyen]

Kimberly Sidor I hope you’re feeling okay now

[@arturberkovich8200]

Kimberly Sidor HEEYY THERE ! Sounds very much like my situation ! I’ve realized that EMOTIONS CAN BE SUCH a BARRIER THAT WE KEEP HAVING THEM WHICH BECOMES A DAILY HABIT ! I’d say unhealthy habit that it’s better to get rid of, it does sounds like you have understood and learned enough from them ! You feel stronger and shine brighter being able to control this not very positive energy in motion “e-motion” ! But you also know and feel like your can get addictive which will weaken your character and make you not so confident... Right !?!

[@stephankardos2780]

I get what you’re saying. You’re saying that we have to do the work. What work? Where do we start “the work” you are talking about?

[@stephankardos2780]

How do we build new neuro-pathways?

[@charlottebruce979]

I don't think my problem comes from my childhood, I had a lovely childhood with two loving parents. I think my problem comes from the fact I attract alpha males who get obsessed by me, they bombarded me with love, material things, wanting to help, went all out to get me, then when domestic life settled in they got bored they looked elsewhere. I was a wonderful wife and partner like my parents were to each other, loving caring and supportive. I'm going to give my good qualities to someone who deserves it.

[@Rock-mn5kq]

i liked Ur words.. how r u ? hope u r doing great Charlotte .

[@deantaylor8851]

If they get obsessed they are not Alpha but beta males pretending to be Alpha

[@deantaylor8851]

I'm awesome thanks for asking how are you doing 😊

[@latoyahodges4962]

@@deantaylor8851 absolutely

[@vishanthgp]

That nail hit home hard. I was wondering what I was going through. And then I realised something about myself. It's the women who chased after me and drooled after me and left me high and dry cause I was a nice guy. No more. I give all to myself and if I have even more to give, I will give it away to charity.

[@songbirdie1613]

That's so funny she actually said the name of my ex🤣

[@rhyatt617]

Thank you,for two years I have struggled to find closure.8 years were together.Now I can start to move on with my life. Thank you

[@bigchief4044]

Damnit ! I was sitting here so serious and miserable. Then she said....” leave you sitting there watching videos on KZbin about how to let go”... Busted up laughing at myself. Ok...back to the serious.

[@robertleon4849]

😂😂 I felt the same way.

[@teresianaigulevu5623]

😂😂😂💖💖

[@karlopoletti3340]

same

[@70Sonja]

Ditto! I started laughing at myself too. What she's describing is exactly what I'm doing! I never knew I had all these issues. I will now search for the "How to heal your inner child" videos. ;)

[@bigchief4044]

Charin, “you’re” not “your”.......twice.

[@songsforsale427]

OMG. I JUST HAD A BREAKTHROUGH!!! AND I'VE NEVER TYPED WITH ALL CAPS. When you said you have a need and you have to supply it for yourself. OMG. THANK YOU SO MUCH! I know just what mine is too. I'm in tears right now. Let me explain for others; I put aside the fact that they weren't treating me right. Yes, that part IS true. But the remedy is what did all these mates have in common besides treating me badly. What they had in common was that they were all capable of fulfilling my need, but they wouldn't. Because it wasn't their job! IT WAS MY JOB. For example, let's say you were never taught self value and financial responsibility. You would go out into the world and be attracted to people who had financial stability. But it isn't their job to hand YOU a bunch of THEIR money. So you perceive them as treating you poorly. Saying they don't share and are selfish (let's say). Well it's our responsibility to support ourselves. We never should have been looking outside ourselves for someone to fulfill the need . Yes as kids our parents should have done it, but they couldn't or wouldn't and didn't. As adults it becomes OUR job. Not our mates (to fulfill that need). YOU'RE BRILLIANT! JUST THE WAY YOU PUT IT, IT SANK IN! I'm covered with goosebumps right now. THE WAY YOU SAID IT'S NOT ABOUT JACK. IT'S ABOUT LOOKING TO JACK TO FULFILL THAT UNMET NEED, WHEN IT WASN'T JACK'S JOB TO FULFILL IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!

[@rachelarmel7547]

Thank you for clarifying it even MORE for me..thank you for sharing what you wrote. I just got it on another, deeper level after reading your comment! 😊

[@songsforsale427]

@@rachelarmel7547 So happy to hear that

[@amandagarcia6320]

And I got goose bumps from reading ur comment! Omg, THANK YOU for sharing ur insights!

[@Manifestwithmegan]

YASSSSS BREAKTHROUGH FOR ME TOO!

[@memoryrinehart]

I understand the breakthrough, I had it too. However it IS everyone's job (especially someone close to us) to treat us kindly and build us up/encourage us in whatever way they're able. It wasn't until I was greatly appreciated /praised by someone that I felt more esteem. If there's no one there to fill the gap of love, yeah you would HAVE to fill it yourself. I think we all know (if we're codependent types) how intensely solitary that can feel. Might as well be on Mars or be overwhelmed with a feeling that could be called "Now entering death mode..."

[@ms.sag-gurl1833]

Running after people who is pushing you away. You are worthy of being treated well.

[@ethanharvey4869]

Crazy how this works , sounds like your talking straight to me. And she was always obsessed with me back when I had the power to leave when she started with her shit. But after 10 years of it on and off I somehow became the one infatuated with her even with all the negativity and pain/abuse that came with it i still kids and constantly think about/obsess over her and loving her/making love to her and feeling like she loves me. Now that I finally said during this current breakup that I no longer wanted to keep contact constantly since she still calls/text me daily and always ask little things of me to keep me around since I did that and started ignoring her and cutting her off now she’s gotten crazy about me again and constantly trying to reach out. It’s unreal and even tho I know how Unstable and disingenuous she is on the inside apart of me still wants to fold and go back to being her “love” / punching bag and door mat.... But I’m done this time and focusing on me and trying to figure out my own issues and why I am this way. But I know inside its my dysfunctional childhood/being poor and a single mom growing up in the projects etc. and my mom was/is a little crazy and I somehow ended up finding the one woman I ever met that’s almost identical in her actions and even life story.... it’s so confusing and deep/messed up. I’m just going to focus on working out / saving money and fixing me for now. Sex is no longer an obsession like it was for me so I think I’m ready to be strong and move on...

[@brandonlyles26]

Right there with ya man. I haven't gotten as far as you yet, but mine was/is the same way.

[@Michelle-yo2vj]

That's the same exactly way we started he was obsessed with me and wouldnt take no for an answer I gave in and finally said ok i will date you now i feel like I'm the obsessed one now and hes being distant and pushing me away. But this is the last time. I'm done for good I cant keep emotionally draining myself it's not a heathly relationship. Good luck to you

[@ethanharvey4869]

Michelle B An thats what it does to it just drains you of your power / energy and positivity. I notice that when I’ve been able to cut ties for a little I get in the best shape of my life I live / think healthier and just overall am in a better place. Yet I easily fall right back into the traps and convince myself that it can and will be different and it is deceivingly great at first always before falling right back into that same cycle of negativity and puts me into a bad place mentally and I begin to under achieve and just overall complacent which leads to me stunting my growth and going from underachieving to trending downwards and taking steps back. The first few days/week or so is always the worst it’s like getting off of a drug and it essentially is as far as the brain 🧠 chemicals that are involved etc. but it’s so rewarding once we’re able to push through and realize how great we can be on our own and start to try and maximize our potential the possibilities are literally endless... Best of luck to you too sweetie I hope everything works out for the best 🤞🏻 just know your worth and rebuild that self respect / self love because you deserve the best life imaginable and to be appreciated and loved properly all of which is attainable if your in the right place mentally and surrounded by the right people or even if your alone by removing the wrong people and starting over , you can do and you deserve it.

[@christinat9029]

Yeah- I was dating a guy who turned out just like my Dad- Great!

[@fpitts8025]

@@ethanharvey4869I can relate....Great comment!

[@Dragonfly657]

It’s rejection that hurts!

[@yvaz3373]

Yes, it does...

[@HisaLight2mypath]

Very hurting

[@rohamp4223]

Especially when you know you have been nothing but good 😔

[@HisaLight2mypath]

@@rohamp4223 all the people that I have been kind and good to did nothing but treat me bad give all that kind as to yourself and people that deserve it

[@jonesfredrick94]

That's true

[@rachelgless3123]

It’s hard to understand why people take advantage of my unmet needs from childhood. I wish I hadn’t fallen for these jerks that are self serving 😩.

[@tinablanchette465]

Me too

[@ilovechicago21]

Me too it’s so painful

[@annasewilska3424]

The same here 😔

[@hectorcastro9768]

@Mr Cabot because you are f sick

[@chilloften]

Rachel Gless Once you learn self and love self...you spot them quicker. Firstly by gut instinct, red flags you watch and keep in mind. Perhaps they will try and devalue or manipulate you which are more obvious signs. And lastly, keep your emotion in check, until it all comes clear, that the person is good for you or not. And of course pace relationships, so your body mind and spirit can discern people proper. 😘

[@whiteassnow3184]

What needs did he meet: direction, motivation, inspiration, encouragement, energy, clarity, safety, community I choose to meet these needs myself and through healthier more diverse methods 💗 I know my truth better than anyone else. I know what is right for me better than anyone else.

[@Ipdex]

Stunningly accurate, absolutely what I've felt for decades about the relationship between my Mother and myself. I left my GF 2 years ago, I'm certain she was BPD. The day before I left her we had another argument about her devaluing and being typically spiteful toward me and calling me a cu*t on a daily basis, I was with her on one of her shows (she's a fast food retailer) after giving up my week to help her as it would 'cost her nothing with me whereas if her Mother or a friend did it she'd have to pay them'. Her words, not mine. And during this argument d'yo know what hit me straight between the eyes, and something I'd suspected 'in me' for months? She had turned into my Mother. Right there. I found the courage to leave her the next day, got masses of vile and abusive txts and after the dust had settled I found myself pining for her almost to this day. Why? Because of exactly what you have explained in this video. So I now know what the problem is but I don't know how to change my mindset and discard the bad people with the rejection and devaluing of me that I have sought & put up with most of my adult life. So I'm going to therapy to find out about self love and how to change my standards and boundaries. I'm 63 and its been happening since I left my parents home at 17... Best wishes & thanks, Russell

[@jayitsme5306]

Right with you Russel, I recommend looking at IFS Therapy, it changed my life and can actually do it yourself. God bless

[@samf.s8786]

That doesn't sound like borderline personality disorder tbh. It's all about vulnerable narcissm, the person's with BPD will attempt to "guilt you" for being cruel to them, they won't call you something bad to your face because that means you'll walk out. The person is overly attached, and will do anything to keep you around. They will only become vindictive after you break up with them, and they'll still try to get you back (Whatever it takes!!). If you had constant fights and she did things that would actively drive you away, like calling you a 'c**t" then this person probably hates you, and were trying to get you to leave them. That's not BPD, unless there are details that you're not disclosing that would get that person to behave that way. Like abandonment on your part, or cheating... They have to feel like devaluing you is warranted, and even then they'll probably forgive you (That's part of why these people hurt themselves the most, if you're a terrible partner they'll stick around as long as you're staying and sedating them with the words they want to hear). Also, she needs to have other diagnostic criteria like a tendency to harm herself, emotional instability, and perhaps a diagnosis of depression, bipolar, or another mood disorder or even an anxiety disorder. Again, this is a vulnerable narc, they want you to stick around, and never ever leave, they're possessive and scared of being abandoned. They can't stand the idea of being away from you, they worship you and put you on a pedestal (this can be stressful since some expectations can be maybe unrealistic or difficult to fulfill), they'll be jealous of everyone you like and spend time with (They can be extremely possessive, for instance, if you were a drug addict, they will feel like they have to compete with the drugs for your time and attention, it's pretty weird when you think about it), they will seem controlling but they will definitely not do anything to make you feel bad so that they can feel good (Not in the direct manner you described, they'll do it indirectly through trying to make you feel guilty for "falling short of your partner duties"), they will seek reassurance and validation that they're "your one and only", and they're usually very accommodating to anything you desire as long as you give them THAT in return. The promise that you love them more than anything, and care for them the most. That's pretty much everything a vulnerable narc ever wants to hear... And what they want most of your time and attention. "If you leave me I'll die" is the standard statement tbf. They think they can't live without you.

[@kiringuyen]

I felt his warmth which I didn’t get from my parents. My parents never hugged me or comforted me when I was upset. It’s not because they don’t love me, it’s kind of cultural thing. It is sad, I know. That’s why when we broke up, I felt empty and obsessed with his presence. I’ve just realized that. Now I need to work on myself before getting in another relationship. I need to love myself more and feel warm from inside instead of relying on someone else. There will be a lot of work to do. Thanks!!!

[@jokicback2backmvp877]

I'm same as you Hilen

[@sanramoncali]

Me too

[@sshuteandrew]

Me too 💜

[@amandagarcia6320]

Hein? Thank you for sharing ur pain.....I hope by now you have "healed" and moved forward with/your life and found someone who loves you more than anything and treats you well:-) If not? Keep looking because the RIGHT! (and best person for your life that you're looking for? He is out there somewhere looking for you too:-) Never give up. Never stop trying:-)

[@WarmMyHeart]

Hien D. Nguyen well said. I wish you well sister. Much love and success to you on your path of life.

[@alyssaroth5137]

As somebody whose been incredibly abused and used and bullied by past boyfriends and friends , its been one of the hardest things refraining from texting those people and telling them how deeply they hurt me. I am trying so hard to work on myself which means fully letting go of those people. May we all heal ❤

[@SusieN2011]

Good luck to you. Don't allow any more abuse from anyone. A person who truly loves you won't intentionally hurt you. Humans are not perfect and sometimes even normal people will say and do hurtful things but we apologize and even hurt ourselves for hurting others and never do it again. I'm sorry for the abuse you've endured...stay away from those people! Happy Holidays!

[@jamieseiple]

sorry to hear you've been hurt so bad...hope things are better now

[@JustineMfulama]

Wow, that really is hard. But you are doing the right thing by putting your well-being before your need for an apology. You can heal even if you never talk to them again.

[@1besieged]

I texted the man I had been seeing off and on for a year, he kept ghosting me, and admitted he had a LOT of female friends, (he meant he was whoring w/ a lot of women) more then likely, you can and will get played, men search out the vunerable, sweet, kind women, (bad men) and work you to fall in love, they then leave, come back , leave & come back, this is a PLAYER, I did not realize this when dating cause I had been alone basically almost 12 years, so once you baby them, nurse them to health, care and love them, they gain strength, and they CHEAT on you, if you are not savvy to a cheater / player's ways... be careful ladies, even older ladies get played moreso , cause men want a sugar momma, or play toy..... all a big GAME to them, no emotions , or if so, these emotions are flippant and erratic and not stable, it is a gamble, and a high risk to be with a liar/ cheater/ player, if he has been dumped a lot, he cheated on his ex's as well. I have interviewed random ladies ages 18 to 99 years of age, most all said, ' all men cheat'.... do your own survey, let me know what you find... the oldest lady , said her 2nd husband was screwing her own sister for years, she was LIVID.. I felt so bad for her.... God should not have let viagra be developed. Freedom of speech & press USA copyrighted, I am not a psychologist, I am a woman who attracts A$$H*LES. (bad boys).. the video is spot on great, thank you , it is the best one out there to heal with, it makes me understand what I needed to understand , and the YWCA has parenting classes and classes for abused women, it is a God send for your self esteem, check it out.

[@cassandramotley8470]

Yes indeed,

[@reigndancer8560]

Thank you so much for doing this video. I was abandoned by my abusive mother as a young child.

[@ddevvnnull198]

Thank you so much for this. You are a blessing. Your statement: "Loving someone else to your detriment is not love. That is sickness." I needed to hear that. I wrote it down. I'm going to keep listening to your videos and work my way out of this hell. Thank you for the encouragement.

[@ladennayoung2939]

DANG this video is five years old, and it was something that I needed to hear. Unfortunately I think about him a lot. But I don't stalk his social media. Either way I needed to hear this message. 😊

[@stephaniemax9333]

I know a strong and spiritual one who can help you bring your Ex back

[@HisaLight2mypath]

Me too. I think about him a lot as well and I know he's not thinking about me not one bit. He rejected me even told me to go off and date other people in here I am in so much pain

[@noellsara4009]

"It's not Jack, it's that unmet need" hits deep.. thank you so much for those insights.

[@xandermansmom1]

"I have abandoned myself." So true and yet this is the first time I've heard this. It helped me.

[@pinkpanda5696]

I can't tell you how much I needed to hear this. There were tears shed several times as I watched this video. I didn't even know where to start, but now I do. Thank you!

[@memoryrinehart]

I'm in the PAIN right now... If the other person accepted and loved you you wouldn't be in it.

[@charlottebruce979]

Yes I had to end my relationship because he cheated on me, I just wanted him to apologise, to say let's work on this, I love you and I want this to work, but I feel I wasn't good enough for him to fight for. He's been cagey about what he's doing etc so must be seeing someone. I need to not message him.

[@GMH9765]

How are you now? I'm in this pain now!

[@louiseconroy9140]

These narcs reject you if you challenge abuse. So if you want them around you abuse is now a given. They have set the terms....you have given up all your power...you are accepting all they do.

[@WarmMyHeart]

Louise Conroy you f’n nailed that one bro! Well said!!! And totally true!

[@jake373]

You're screwed either way. If you're a doormat, they'll not respect you and cheat on you. If you set boundaries they'll cheat on you. They're gonna find a way to hate you one way or the other

[@assilem717]

@@jake373 "They're going to find a way to hate you one way or another." 💯💯

[@GoogleUser-wy2vv]

Yes!

[@katalynbabe]

@@jake373 nailed it. Theres 0 way to co exist with the narc & not endure abuse!

[@toricarpintier]

My exes name is jack, when I tell you my heart skipped a beat lollll

[@marie3321]

This is a huge reminder for me. I have gone through SO much bs...and I may actually have to watch this video atleast 1x a week to keep trying to move forward for myself. It's been over a year of trying on/off to 1. Work on me and 2. Stop being in contact with my ex. Thank you for this video and keep it up! This is so good!

[@HisaLight2mypath]

That's exactly what I will be doing watching it once or twice a day to help me with the pain

[@godswarrior2952]

I can't thank you enough for this video, I finally know what i need to do to fix this behavior of falling in love with unavailable people.

[@patriceroach8616]

I found this video by mistake! She told the absolute truth! It stems back to your childhood I promise you this is the truth,that other person has issues too! Just do the work!

[@irenebuford8930]

I found that instead of calling the person an 'Angel or a Demon', I learned to be more indifferent.... You are right splitting the person as bad or good does get us caught up... I love the way you explained things... I was with narcissist, so you are right..

[@heatherwalters3543]

Yay, finally a mature woman whose talking directly to my soul. Thanks so much. I live in South Africa. Have been on my own since a divorce 20yrs ago. Raised my son as a single parent. Been flippin hard. Now 56. Meet a man online, intense from his side to start with, got me hooked in, and then the red flags started. The craziest thing was I was comparing him to my dad in my mind. And seeing everything I thought was wonderful about my father in him. And on top of that excusing all his bad characteristics, again exactly the same flaws in my father. My mother was the doormat. Dumped after 18yrs blah blah blah. So there you go. Clearly much work needed from my side. Gave this man his marching orders after the final show of total disrespect, aggression and complete lack of care, 2 days ago. I had fallen into the needy codependent role which I can't stand but somehow couldn't control. Had forgotten what the physical pain felt like having made the break. But I have a massive support base so hanging in. It has opened my eyes to looking at the possibility of finding love again but well aware I have loads of work to do. I am very good at self help so will take time out to fix me before opening up for a possible future relationship. Thank you so much for getting down and calling this exactly what it is. There are hundreds of "life coaches" on utube but not one I have found touches on this subject which is truly the key issue in most cases. You are amazing. I'll follow you closely. I feel the need to alert my ex regarding these topics only because he's a product of a disfunctional childhood himself. I feel the need to share the info. If However right now I am my priority so getting on with fixing me. Xxx

[@dustyandmax2239]

Yes, you are completely right. If your mother and father pushed you away or were abusive in some way, you will try to correct it through your relationships. Rejection becomes comfortable so you will subconsciously search it out. Your parents are the first experience of love. And if they reject or hurt you they are giving you the wrong guidance system and therefore you pick the wrong people for you. It's such hard work.

[@angellover73]

The problem is that these partners are able to pretend to be everything you ever wanted. You fall for the love bombing and then reality shows itself later on. Cognitive dissonance is my problem...you are left wondering what happened to change their feelings for you.

[@aBaltimoreRaven]

this is my situation summed up perfectly

[@artbygilik]

This is my situation too. My ex was diagnosed bipolar and I should have known better but I was in a low place when I met him and he told me everything that was almost too good to be true, he knew exactly what I wanted to hear and maybe he believed it too at that point but as soon as he was done with me he was off to his next relationship the very next day and 7 months later he's still with her and I'm here thinking about him still but now I know I deserve so much better. Still hurts like hell but I'm grateful that he made me stronger and wiser

[@WatchtheWaters12]

angelin johnson story of my life. It is the most head fucking thing ever. I have literally had to call psychologists a few times because I thought I was going crazy. It is torture and so cruel. I don’t know how these people sleep at night knowing the torment they put us through. 😢

[@zainatrish1531]

soooo true!!!!! u just said it all.... sometimes you don't even want them back,you keep texting them to find closure of why they really left you because it was a perfect love....

[@carfincap]

angelin johnson yes what happened. And he told me I had a great body but a little soft in the belly - I’m tall and skinny and felt ugly. The women he is with, and I’m just stating truth, is extremely overweight pretty face. I had been with him for five years at a very abusive marriage and divorce. He called her slovenly came back when someone had really hurt me again and then did this thing he had never ever done to me. He told me to leave them alone. I was a sudden sex object.

[@Ipdex]

Utterly brilliant. I'm a 63yr old bloke and I'm sitting here tearful because it explains exactly what I'm going through. I left her 2-1/2 yrs ago because I realised 'she was my Mother'. The spitefulness, the abuse, the belittling, every time I tried to speak it was branded 'the fuc*ing Russell show', she called me a c*** on a daily basis. It reminded me of how I was treated by my Mother. She would be nasty, distant, resentful, shut me out etc etc when I was a kid and I grew up resenting her and then disliking her right up until she died where I had no feelings for her. I still find myself wanting to have fixed it but what I really mean is that I just wanted her to love me all the time, not like me one minute and despise me the next. I know it has screwed me up all my life. I know the woman who I left 2-1/2 yrs back was wrong for me but she's still the centre of my world yet she doesn't;t care if I'm alive or dead. So I've reached the understanding why phase, I cannot seem to get anywhere near how to fix it phase and my life is wasting away. Its so bloody sad. Best wishes for the wonderful vids. Russell, a Brit.