How to Stop Thinking About Someone - Relationship Advice

[@SusanWinter]

Work with Me: susanwinter.net/consultation/

[@mikefuller1267]

I wish I was more obsessed with myself then people who don’t want me

[@janiebutterfly5251]

That is soooo true I'm sending you love and light and many blessings stay safe and well 🙏🙏🙏🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈💝💝💝💝💝💝💝👼👼👼👼👼👼👼👼👼👼👼🤗🤗🌹

[@armin38822]

that's a great quote. We idealize some other person..is actually insane.

[@Viv8ldi]

Do you want to be a second Donald Trump?

[@caitlincassidyy]

Same

[@lalhriatpuii6578]

I don't want to be Narcissistic

[@laurencacoon8985]

this was in my recommended and i just want to thank my FBI agent for this

[@tarasade3881]

Lauren cacoon 😄😅🤔🤫

[@AlluringTree]

Lauren cacoon lol made me laugh nd I was just crying

[@manojkumarhk5696]

😂😂

[@21Cauzzie]

Haha that made me laugh

[@nonodlamini]

😂

[@CJ22930]

”We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.” - Seneca

[@annmurtagh5323]

Accurste

[@Miss.emmanuelle]

So true 😢

[@rose7777]

So beautifully described 😊

[@Heyitsvickkk]

Amen

[@patrickmurphy1803]

Good grief !

[@user-bn1hb3iw8t]

I‘ve developed a crush on someone I barely know but I‘ve now realized that I fell in love with the idea of this person and not the real person and I‘ve been doing this my whole life. I‘ve never had a relationship and I think I finally know that this is the reason for it. I hope I can change this

[@omaemou3202]

i can relate so bad ! Did u find any solutions ?

[@Marjo..]

that sounds like limerance

[@priyankajaiswal7756]

Omg! I feel same

[@briesummers2934]

@x i love the way u expressed it si honesty. I really wanted to hear something like that the part where u said u r obsessed with the idea of them and not actually loving them. I mean it. This was one of yhe thing i needed rn.

[@adatbh]

How are you now ?

[@coredadventure1]

I would say 99.9% of the time the person that you're stuck on and put a pedestal on really doesn't deserve it once you get to know them

[@anonymouslee4470]

it is all about an alternate reality

[@danhenney8825]

Communication and honesty, if you can't do or receive both then it's not worth ya time or efforts. Keep busy be productive take time to heal. 😊

[@jetpilot3714]

Best statement on here

[@ljubicab3885]

THANK YOU,YES

[@JustLIkerapunzel]

I guess the though thing about this is that for me it is not even about this person, cause I barely know him. It's about the idea of being with SOMEONE who makes me feel the way I felt with that guy the few times we met. But the obsession started before I even met this specific guy who now is my extra trigger because before I just obsessed about yearning for romantic companionship. This video is simply not helping because I already have my passions. I already socialize a lot and share my hobbies. I can't add any more hobbies than I already have and I love them. But once you obsess over something it's hard to stop because you can be doing something else and while it used to be fun at one point, you still can't fully focus anymore on that.

[@GauravSingh-ku5xy]

This comment section feels like a warm blanket. I now understand that I'm not alone in feeling like this. So thanks everyone.

[@miss.vickies]

you're so not alone!

[@brilliantaksan]

You too, thanks so much for commenting, i feel as if we care that we're all here, love you all

[@melonie_peppers]

I mean sure except the comment above you says "picture them taking a dump." Soooooo

[@GauravSingh-ku5xy]

@@melonie_peppers yeah I saw that. Have to say that's quite an extraordinary coping skill.

[@melonie_peppers]

@@GauravSingh-ku5xy Haha

[@Viv8ldi]

Everytime you think about someone you keep them alive energetically, you feed them.

[@weneedmoreconsideratepeopl4006]

I wonder how this works. I believe that everything is energy (from one of Nikola Tesla's sayings) but I can't it see as the way it is-- as just energy.

[@Viv8ldi]

@@weneedmoreconsideratepeopl4006 Energy goes where attention flows?

[@weneedmoreconsideratepeopl4006]

@@Viv8ldi I can see it now when I think of it like that 😮 Thanks! That's a good way to put it.

[@insomnia5491]

shit ...

[@fleurdelys6102]

Galliano Marr thank you for this!! now I know how to stop thinking about someone

[@venusianshadow]

From personal experience, a mental obsession over someone is a sign that I'm neglecting my social health. I've overcome this by meeting new people and attending hangout groups. In the end, it's as if the "crush" was a placeholder for better things to come. Thank you for this video!

[@kalypso9256]

Great advice and really true. It’s still not doing it for me.

[@luviannie3872]

thank you for this. I’m going thru the same thing right now and i think it’s because i’m neglecting my social health too. i’m trying to get better but it can be hard sometimes :)

[@elisglaze6077]

This comment put it all together for me. Thank you for your insight 🤍

[@303machine]

True. If you are destined to be with this crush, it will happen, otherwise it is a sign you mentioned. It is a sign you are missing, want something and this crush is sign to improve yourself, look after your emotional/love life.

[@anneshaganguly356]

Well, it's 1:43 am and I still can't sleep because I keep thinking about that one person. You see, it's easier during the day, I can keep myself busy but what about these long lonely sleepless nights? Moreover, I really don't want to use someone else to get over someone else. I mean yeah I try to make new friends but I feel like it's very forceful from my side while the other person is thinking that it's mutual. I don't want to deceive this new person (probably the person I'm thinking about did the same to me as well)

[@Elle-nc2ou]

The fact that we purposely searched for this, means that we have the initiative to get better, and I applause us for it. May we truly achieved what we want in life, as long as it's not to hurt others but always of love. Even I, as typing this is still currently not really "fine", but I'm not just going to give up and let what let me down win. We're all in this together guys! 😊💕

[@tanishadhawan9805]

👏here's a little applause for us all Happy to read the comments and have someone who has similar feelings

[@faeriedew6579]

its honestly so difficult to live with and i dont know what to do.

[@AlejandroW90]

I never knew I was so obsessed until I thought about it. I messaged her despite her wanting space from me. And she has rightfully left me on delivered. I deserve this. I wish I wasn’t so obsessed, but I’ve never felt this cared for in my life by another girl. I feel depressed.

[@0000song0000]

God, i wish these videos were available when i was a kid... now i have 20+ years of experience as a serial-crusher

[@AlejandroW90]

Update on my situation: I have cut her off completely. I’ve realized that this girl doesn’t want me for who I am. Im now incredibly happy and I’m loving my life now :) it may seem impossible, it’s gonna hurt for a while, especially if you loved the girl like I loved mine. But believe me cutting her off is the right decision boys, especially if she isn’t giving you what you need to hear, or if there’s no communication. Stay strong boys!

[@Viv8ldi]

mental obsession is a habit - and habbits can be broken. That sentence alone helped me a lot

[@sahilhussain1081]

How

[@Nekole1]

Thank you for this comment. It was helpful.

[@oneoutoftheninety-nine.3314]

Mines was when she said stop feeding them. Then they'll notice you.

[@cozettem8226]

@@Viv8ldi habit only has one b in it, its not like the word rabbit lol

[@nanctruespc8247]

Mental obsession is a habit and habits can be broken easily .if someone know how habits can be broken, as simple as shifting your sleep, meal ,or hobbies timings .,but this one is mainly emotional thing normally, which has to take some time (reaction time to the new case). Extrem pain ,but forever peace.

[@vallymokhlis]

It takes 21 days to get into a habit. Stop watching their shit. Stop talking about them. Stop looking for them. Make room for the person who deserves to be in your life.

[@peacejoy3629]

But how to stop the inner voice that keep telling Me to "NO don't let him think that he WIN just do somthing " it's a distance relationship so social media is the only way to show and prove him wrong I'm stuck..

[@vallymokhlis]

@@peacejoy3629 yea but you're draining yourself by doing that. It's best to be mature and just block him on everything. It's tough to do so, but the best decision for yourself and your mental health. Constantly proving yourself to him is obsessive behavior as well. Break out of it and start bettering yourself hun.

[@vallymokhlis]

@@peacejoy3629 it doesn't matter where he is. Even if you leave and block him, he still wonders what happened to you. Flip the script and he'll be obsessed with you lol just don't get caught up in proving yourself to him. He's a loser, he doesn't deserve to see you.

[@peacejoy3629]

@@vallymokhlis yeah ..that's What i realized he don't deserve to know anything about me Thank you soo much for your advice and for ur time 💞🌸

[@peacejoy3629]

@@vallymokhlis But now is it normal to don't want any relationship ! and get to know someone ! I wanna stay by myself. Bcz I can't find a good match at an intellectual level . like they fake it *there Intelligence* bcs all what they want is reach my BODY and they're all normalize it . I want deferent. And my bff normalize it too she said* this is humane gurl , so you're not normal you are a robot ! * and keep telling me to spread myself around and be social and have conversations and then I'll have choices to pick the ONE ! But it's unfaithful for me and not loyal at all and kinda b***y thing and waste of energy. I think one person is enough we get to know eachother and then we be official . But she keep pushing me she made think I'm I an alien or what ! Like even when I do like a guy ( we at university in same class) and I feel he likes me back , all I do is make him think that YOU DON'T EXIST like I ignore hiim I don't why I do that 💔 ( and she done that she know someone they're together as couple but she has a crash on too other guys in uni and they text and I see her smile when she read there messages and I beeee shocked ! Like what are you dOinG and she normalized it *she said everyone do that * So mybe I'm the problem

[@StarOnTheWater]

Recognising that obsession is a natural response of my brain to an unresolved situation has actually helped me a lot. Because the only thing worse than my obsession is me bashing myself for being so obsessed.

[@silvermine2033]

Me too!

[@pup56]

True. Angry on myself for being like this

[@rockonmuse]

This ☝🏻

[@mssoiree67]

Me too!!

[@marrileedn7941]

Over the past 40 years of obsessing over my first love, I have said that I need him exorcized from my brain!!!

[@iptisamalalak5528]

“The only time someone notices you’re there is when you’re not there” .... wow, I needed to hear this right now.

[@Christa-tl8jb]

Absolutely true in every way shape and form.

[@reyanaganguly7650]

Me too

[@jeftehilomen1688]

Same

[@danielcastillo6912]

That’s why when you start getting over them, they start thinking about you more

[@goldfish688]

@@danielcastillo6912 not true.

[@DjBaapreB]

Never stop doing the things that are important for you while your are in the middle of an obsession: school/ work/ holiday/ courses etc. The obsession will fade away; your achievements last forever and will make you feel so proud of yourself! Those are the positive things in the dark period of obsession.

[@bvedant]

It’s hard when it’s a breakup because you also get depressed which makes you lose focus of goals and not want to have any

[@donavin51]

I like it: focusing on achieving a goal that helps others, rather than focusing on a particular person that is not treating us all that special. I will remember and use that.

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you Donavin.

[@azzykamp3003]

Smart Boi

[@johngallagher72]

Same . It makes sense . ❤

[@pinkfuture8275]

Thank you...

[@maldmc2873]

you like a coach look at the big picture Its not just you we are to give and help another not sit an cry over somebody that don't care.

[@don-ent8272]

I've been obsessed with this person and I'm feeling terrible. I want to move on.

[@Mizzmolf]

Me and u we HV the same problem.thats why I am here.it will get better

[@SHOTBYKARTI]

DoN-Ent same bro

[@lu-fg7ih]

me too

[@vaishakhsz]

Me too, but i dont have time to go to gym, and the obsessive thought gets back again

[@angyluzarmendaris2650]

Same 😂

[@RR-fn6dm]

Sometimes we create a version of a person that really doesn’t exist. It’s a fantasy of who we want them to be, it’s not the real person. We need to look at the real actions, if someone is not giving you security or solid answers that they want to be with you then the answer is NO. Absence is the best, as stated in the video once your energy is gone from them that’s when they notice. We need to stop giving our energy to the wrong people.

[@teeahtate]

Good advice. The answer is no. You create a fantasy about a person that does not exist is I agree.

[@dawnowens1951]

Happened to me. He didn’t give me any information about himself. So I went on a mission to find out who he is via internet. And I developed a massive crush. It took me a year and a month and @Susanwinter to help me recover.

[@14U2ella7]

What if you’re obsessed with them for how they make you feel? (not directly, like, them doing things to/for you) For how thinking about them, being reminded of them, things about them makes you feel.. When you love things about them, and not just because of who you want them to be, but who you see them as/the way you see them? I’m sorry if this is confusing, I’m just talking about me being a K-Pop fan, obsessed with an idol and I’ve been trying to “not have him in my life” anymore.. But, and it’s hard to explain, a lot of things just remind me of him, too.. And sometimes, I just don’t know what to do when I see things that remind me of him or triggers me to think about him..

[@Virike7]

I admire people who can understand that obsessively thinking about someone doesn't lead anywhere and it would be best to forget them. And there's me, who kind of understands this, but also likes the feeling of liking someone. So one part of me wants to forget, the other doesn't. All while knowing it doesn't make sense at all to continue thinking about literally NOTHING.

[@wanderertatiana2498]

You might 'kind of like' the feeling because you unconsciously feel you deserve to still be in pain or torturing yourself in some way. Think of the harm you're doing to yourself.

[@amanimango]

i waited 74 days for someone i was kind of obsessed with for a few months, realised they weren't worth it in the end. leave them when you can, you won't regret it!

[@keyasaha5037]

This is me...Bless u for explaining my situation ri8

[@1chienandalou]

Yes I get it. It’s a melancholia. I wish I could shed it but it’s the way it is..

[@MrNickrandi]

This is the real issue, the internal struggle in everyone who goes through that. A part of me wants to delete everything in my memory, totally forget the girl, moving on and not think about her EVER. Then there's this other side who WANTS to think about her because it's pleasing, it's a drug for my mind and it's almost unstoppable. I guess I'm not strong enough to let it go.

[@wingnutmcspazatron3957]

I feel like my obsession comes from fear and not being able to find anyone else, cus an obsession is always formed when a new attractive person enters into my life (few and far between) that likes me a lot and gives me attentention. I get excited and think I've found "the one", and then my anxiety of potentially losing the person if I do the "wrong thing" persists and changes me in a negative way. Then, they pull away and I plot even harder trying to find a way to pull them back in. I feel like if I can let go of this insecurity in myself, then I can finally be free. Redirecting my obsession seems to be like distracting myself from the real underlying issue that forces me to form that obsession in the first place, when it shouldn't even be there.

[@TheyLoveCharky7777]

Well said

[@dansari0007]

Amazing comment. I’m in the middle of trying to stop obsessing about this girl from my gym, I found her on IG and her blogs on KZbin. I’ll try to stop watching anything about her and and get some new hobbies. 😒

[@gwenwar7223]

Same feeling

[@aurielove9177]

I’m the same way

[@iconoclastic-fantastic]

Story of my life.

[@graysoncho3221]

When you're depressed and have no passions 🙃

[@alexaleuropa]

Literally !!!!!!!!

[@bapinzz]

Ughhh me

[@nm6857]

LMAO true

[@mickey1493mi]

That sounds tough my friend. I hope you find something that helps you feel joy. May I suggest something simple as going on a hike in a beautiful remote area?

[@LovelyCamie_05]

Oh dang but I just hope that you will be alright real soon!

[@sksea]

'When you cant physically act on it , all you're left is mental work.' Damn, preach🙌🏻

[@gilliannecowenn]

“In any moment on any given day I can measure my wellness by this question: is my attention on loving or is my attention on who isn’t loving me?” -Andrea Gibson

[@idontgiveanf3713]

👏👏👏👏👏

[@lailak482]

Damn❤😂💯💯

[@shubhamsclub9718]

All those who are here after being left by their one sided love.. God give u peace and a real lover soon. For the time just focus on your smile. And smile for me please :)

[@joanna6570]

Amen :)

[@aliibilli]

💗

[@mana-gv5ev]

❤💔🙂

[@shamanthhiremath5426]

My eyes are in tears when I read this... Thank u so much!!

[@abundantsunflower1107]

Thank You honey, you too😊

[@holdmie4ever]

I have a very imaginative mind since childhood, i used to fantasize something that i know its impossible to achieve or have. When i become adult, this fantasizing continued and was reinforced when i read the book of Paolo Coelho, "The Alchemy" supporting that if we dream of sonething really seriously, the universe will conspire to give us what we want. Now i am an adult life is teaching me that there is an issue in my childhood, its rejection and abandonment, that was unresolved. I have discovered that my fantasizing is a way of escape to whats lacking inside of me. My parents failed to assure me of my self worth and self esteem is low. Thanks to your videos, it awakened me of whats lacking within me. Slowly i will reset myself to heal my childhood issue with the help from God.

[@neerajak9319]

Same to me

[@elifdemircan1061]

I am your 17 years old version :( same here

[@fredericmoresmau9194]

it was verarsche to hurt me...... they planned it, they executed it, they trashed me, then they created a wreck, and then they trashed me for being hurt..... planned out strategically executed and finished....... and then it was above all my fault....

[@fredericmoresmau9194]

perfect crime which turns out to be the fault of the victim.... WoaoW

[@tammy8028]

Paolo Coelho is a brilliant author. Veronica decides to die, a great book. It's not about suicide, not really, it's positive.

[@victoriagrace9059]

I realised whenever I have a crush/obsession on someone it usually takes the form of daydreaming about a future version of me that is skinnier, prettier, got her shit together, is living life the way I want to etc. I think I do this because I don’t feel like a relationship would be the best for me right now and I definitely have some insecurities about nobody wanting me as a partner. I can’t picture my current self with a partner, it has to be some ideal version of me that I will never be. This version of me will be “finally good enough” to enter into a relationship. I’m definitely going to take your advice on breaking the habit, but I don’t know how to refocus my goals when it seems pretty clear that this fantasy land is serving a dual purpose of relationship fantasy and “ideal future me” fantasy. How do I feel more satisfied with my present self? How do I stop this feeling of not being good enough?

[@themodernotaku]

By realizing you are the ideal you, and that somebody if not multiple will see that ideal you. It’s tough, it might be a process of putting yourself out there in a lot of situations but building that confidence will connect with others.

[@itsme8580]

Most underrated comment , truely.atleast for me.

[@matetsutak751]

definitely the same thoughts that I have

[@user-fm8yc4hm1c]

I have the same feelings. Thank you for writing this.

[@mayadere]

This is exactly how I’ve been feeling for the past few years. Thank you for putting this into words.

[@Purplejersey702]

We're in no-contact but seem to be communicating through silence. I'm constantly reminded of him, seeing his name everywhere. It's like I'm grieving, crying everyday, I'm totally obsessed with him, but.........I just can't go back, I just can't. 😩💔

[@AppleBottomJ]

I feel you

[@chrisbarrett2179]

I'm obsessing over someone that lead me on and when somebody better suddenly came back into their life, she completely went ghost. My flaw is that I always try to find what I did wrong even though people tell me I didn't do anything wrong. It's just a mental habit I need to break.

[@KF7MGT]

Me too my fellow human. Me too.

[@shakerbee7349]

Holy shit the same thing happend to me

[@kayaluvanze8848]

same i’m obsessing over the two people that hurt me

[@akshayss4778]

Same thing here

[@SHVideografie]

Same thing happened to me. Really stings.

[@shybairnsgetnowt]

This is why so many people replace an "old"/lost/unrequited love with another instead of working on a better, stronger self. It's a lifelong lesson and not everybody can do it. You're strong enough to do this, focus on yourself, establish healthy boundaries, break habits that don't serve you. In my opinion, you don't need to set a somewhat distant goal in stone. Focus on the process instead.

[@veeoby3364]

The only way somebody notices you're there is when you're not there. WORD! Thanks Susan

[@leeeanne112]

It's hard to do this when your in quarantine 😩😭

[@kaitlynmadison.]

😭😭😭😩😩😩😩😩

[@cazramusic]

You're so right.

[@afreen9347]

😿

[@danneperry]

Yes!!!! I can’t go outside and interact with other people, so my mind is stuck on them 😭

[@lanaakhras4909]

If u have that person on social media just remove them, don’t stalk them do something that will benefit you, study read a book just move them out of ur progress in life. Remember we are all in quarantine so you can choose to put ur focus on your goals or that person. I know what ur going through sadly :( I hope u pull through !

[@sjsjsjsjsj5519]

i wish someone was obsessed with me as much as i obsess over other people 😭😭😭😭😭 it’s so bad

[@jesskaitlyn9419]

This appeared on my recommended page... how did KZbin know? 😳

[@crownbritish2259]

Omg same ahahahah

[@55phe]

jesskaitlyn right! Like yo 🙁

[@JoelSmithR1]

Yep. Same here.

[@Djfr]

jesskaitlyn because your phone is listening to you

[@syrinesbaa6572]

jesskaitlyn it’s AI , things you wrote down KZbin or any social media app registers them and recommends stuff that are related to them.

[@coralfoliage8]

WOW. I REALLY NEEDED THIS. It’s a mental obsession that’s exhausting for me to live and exhausting for my friends to hear about! I definitely needed that reminder about not keeping them alive energetically. Thank u!

[@topps9647]

" The only time someone notices you are there...is when you're not there" I love that quote.

[@DONT4GET_SUNSCREEN]

It's like a hamster in a wheel. Constantly thinking about the person but you know it's not going anywhere. But the feeding energy is so true. You're good Ms. Susan!!!😇💜

[@kaitlynmadison.]

😇😇😇😇😇💜💜💜

[@TERFClub]

I think as soon as u give up all hope and let them go they can sense it and panic. Usually too late by then cos your feelings have gone already.

[@waarheidsgetrouwe288]

Yes lol with my ex if he was my ex and I was sad after few weeks felt better and honestly nobody knew this but when I shaved my legs because I felt good again he always began texting me.

[@fleurdelys6102]

Yahusha is Savior Melchizedek King of Kings wait did he text you again cause you shaved your legs I-

[@waarheidsgetrouwe288]

@@fleurdelys6102 hahah no he just always contacted me when I had done it very strange. Like when I was sad I didn't shave than when I finally felt better I shaved my legs and than he called again. I tested it when I found out and it was so ahahaha

[@arionnamoss9785]

Yahusha is Savior Melchizedek King of Kings that is such a cool superpower to uncover. I wonder what mine is!🤔

[@lolacookie453]

True story...I hadn’t heard from the guy i like and is often on my mind 😂 in two days. Was out running errands when this tall, handsome blonde comes into my line of vision. He very politely approached me and proceeded to apologize for bothering me but needed to tell me he thought I was beautiful and if I would be interested in going to dinner with him. I gave him my number and two hours later he left me a message wondering if I could go out the following night. I told him I was busy so we decided on next week. For the first time in a few weeks the original guy was nowhere on my mind 😂 completely gone. Literally 22 minutes after the new guy called me, out of nowhere the guy I like texts me, i was so so relaxed and laissez faire that I think he sensed it by some of his replies. I swear I truly believe this shift in energy thing. It had happened previously when I went on a date with someone new, had a lovely time and the very next day guy #1 is texting me. Put your energy elsewhere girls, whether it’s volunteering, a new hobby or saying yes to going on a date with a new guy, you never know who’s coming around the corner.

[@itsgoodtobegood]

Wow! It's just fascinating how this works..

[@catherinethegreatsgroceryasmr]

Did you get back w/ the old guy?

[@lolacookie453]

Catherine’s ASMR no, i let him know I just want to be platonic friends and that I wanted to just enjoy going out on dates with other men. He wasn’t happy and acted out for a couple of weeks but he still contacts me in an attempt to take me out on dates but I am enjoying dating new men too much. Still regularly talk to the tall blonde who is a pro rugby player but he lives abroad and although he asked me to be exclusive since our very first date I said no to that as well as long distance relationships are not for me. So I will see him whenever I travel to his country or he comes back, in the meantime we are getting to know each other without any pressure and I like it like that as I tend to run if things progress too quickly.

[@catherinethegreatsgroceryasmr]

Lola Cookie ok, cool. Interesting.

[@lolacookie453]

anonymous 20002001 ne dite pas que quelque chose c’est impossible. tout est possible dans cet univers

[@audreylloyd1353]

When the cons outweigh the pros, remind yourself of the cons, deal breakers, disrespect, and toxic treatment that was put on you. It takes time to heal just take it one day at a time and do anything and everything that will make yourself happy no matter how small. Get out of that comfort zone and talk to other men/ women. You WILL be ok. Remind yourself ❤️

[@ccodyskates]

Thank you

[@MistaB378]

I needed this

[@EdwardSuave]

Who else was stalking there crush on ig last night

[@Diana-rr6wk]

Me 😔

[@Nicole-qo8ko]

@@Diana-rr6wk stalking him in twitter and reading those conversation of him with someone makes me hurt so much

[@Annapolisz]

Oh yeah... familiar...

[@luisafda.parras]

Me 😩🥺 and now i found out he has a gf

[@aizahsyed5342]

he keeps rejecting my request

[@Amy-hm5xt]

Anyone else watch this crying because of how frustrated they are with their own mind because you feel like you've lost your own mind and lost yourself just because of this one person that drives your heart crazy? 😓

[@RendyRuban]

I recently have this feelings for my co-worker. I soon realized after a while that she never even interested in me. Not in the slightest and that she actually grossed with the thought of me really into her. Then I try to get into my old hobby, which is drawing that makes me happy. Also planning on starting to make soaps, possibly for business. Things have never went so well for me in life. Like a great weight lifted. The key, I think is to find that spark in your life again. Kinda like the one you see in Disney's Soul. The idea that makes you alive, makes you feel happy even from the simplest thing. If we can just take a moment, and live every second for what makes us love ourselves, and not with some unhealthy obssession over someone who don't care about you.

[@salmamagdy4646]

my mind knows you're right but my heart isn't on the same page

[@brod2man]

This was very well articulated and very helpful. However, I think the final bit of advice risks compromising the whole attempt. It may be true that depriving that person of your presence will increase the chance they will miss you, but I think its a messy game to play. When you are succeeding in not thinking about them/not messaging them, you will have this underlying thought that you are only ignoring them SO THAT they will come to you. It almost increases the obsession because you are anticipating their return. Then, if they don't return, it just hurts and feels helpless. I guess its a double edged sword. But focussing on other goals and spending time DOING stuff that isn't thinking about that person is really good advice to interrupt the habit.

[@bobate6030]

Well said!

[@brod2man]

@@bobate6030 I wrote that during a period of infatuation with someone and can confirm the advice of filling your day with other activities which force you to disregard your phone is a good strategy. Smoking 2 cigarettes a day is better than 30.

[@kmc7062]

I agree. I was buying into this but she completely lost me with that last little nugget - a nugget of complete BS IMO. A crazy narcissist discarded me and I am certain is giving me no thought at all. The new rewards supply person is in place and as long as that is the case I remain completely eliminated from the picture. That said, the breaking the habit advice was excellent and she was correct about my inability to sleep. Need more work in those areas.

[@DaTa-wm5yc]

That is so true! I even get excited when I feel like I have let them go because I „know“ now they are coming back and then I get sad all over again, even more …how can I break this cycle 😭

[@sagstar]

I just went through what you described. It's a waste of time and energy, never again.

[@erin3292]

I always thought fantasy was harmless to me, even providing me with a substitute for what I couldn’t have. I recently realized how harmful and painful it’s been to be indulging in these feelings. Much thanks for your excellent advice ✨🙏✨

[@teeahtate]

Yes, because it keeps you stuck in dream and you are not able to see reality.

[@BlueWaffles83]

I can confirm from my own experience that this constant thinking of that specific persons keeps feeding them. I had the same experience in the past that as soon as I stopped thinking about the person for a while, all of a sudden she got in touch with me just as you experienced in on of your previous videos. Not that this is a magic way to get someone back but it is energy you are missing and could use for your own purpose and happiness instead. Your videos always seem to come right on time and are on the spot. Time to shift my focus back to myself. Thank you so much Susan.

[@SusanWinter]

I appreciate your commentary, BlueWaffles. Thanks for your note.

[@catlady715]

So true. In my situation I believe this guy continues his neglect of me b/c he knows he can get away with it. He knows I have feelings for him. He knows the second he calls I will come running. I know I need to change my mindset even though it's very difficult.

[@catlady715]

Meryl Lumboy-My situation is similar and I know it's difficult to really cut off someone you have feelings for. And, so funny, the same thing has happened to me in the past where I would delete his texts, tell myself I am done and then BAM he would contact me and I'd be back in his web...But soon after he would start w/ the same neglect crap. Like you I need to be firm w/ my decision to finally FINALLY be done w/ this nonsense.

[@BlueWaffles83]

Been there, done that got the T-Shirt. I know it is very hard to burn the bridge but we just have to. If it already starts out like this, while not even starting anything really, imagine if you ever catch that person how he/she is going to behave in a relationship. You are better off without him/her (for now) and we all deserve someone who reciprocates exactly the same interest we are showing. Be strong an stop hurting yourself by inviting those people back into your life. Don't hate them but feel pity with them for what they must have been through themselves to become like this. They need to sort out their own issues and we, why we are still hanging on to someone who is not good for us. Stop looking at the past and what could have been. Set them free and live in the present. You can't change them but you can take the right actions in your own live and do the work needed so you will attract someone who is worth your time and affection. Once you are there, the universe will work it all out - be it with a new partner or eventually the guy/gal you never quite got. Just believe in it. Be strong!

[@catlady715]

Thank you, BlueWaffles83. I want to print what you wrote and hang it on my wall to read and keep me strong. What really sucks is I have to see this guy at work. It makes the situation much more difficult but I am so tired of the games, tired of feeling used, tired of his broken promises and empty words, tired of feeling like crap.

[@thewrongshoes]

The good news is if moving on doesn’t wake them up to the extent you want, you’ll soon forget their asses anyway. Your life is now too fun to keep their memory

[@pamela-mariie]

Find something that excites you. A passion, a hobbie, an achievement, a big goal, something that involves helping others, and put that as your your primary goal. 🌟 I love that advice.

[@sgaf7001]

I was a big mess more than a month ago. Everywhere I went, all I could think about was him and I thought it was just in movies that you see other people as him but it also happened 😂. It was ridiculous and painful. I learned to take in the pain and continue my life with it. I experienced chest pains for more than a week after days of breakdown then numbness came after. I'm way better now. I still think about him most hours of everyday, but the feelings is starting to be less intense day by day. I made progress today by waking up and not thinking about him first. Thank you for this video. These are things that we sometimes know, but we still need someone else to slap us with it so that we can wake up.

[@vtech822]

I'm with you, going through this exact same right now. My heart truly hurts right now

[@rolansanchez7046]

I am dealing with this kind of situation right now and unfortunately I cannot work on my thesis I'm about to graduate in a few months and it distracts me from my goal I hate it.

[@beyza-rt8xq]

how are you now?

[@Jejegoing]

I’m good when I don’t see him but when I see him in college everything get worse😢

[@BanTaaax]

This video is a life saver for me right now!! Gym and running, that is my focus from now on!! Thinking about this guy literally brings nothing but misery and sadness, but the gym and running positively effect me!! Everytime he pops into my head, I'm just gunna say gym and run (as crazy as that sounds) lol!!

[@mykailareynen868]

Damn y’all inspiring me o whateva like now imma try this. Or just try to throw myself into my classes again :)

[@catherinethegreatsgroceryasmr]

Did he ever come back?

[@scorpiochic2]

Me too

[@mimahoo]

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

[@onangelwings462]

That's what I did BEFORE Covid lockdown. Now I'm stuck home thinking all the time.

[@GalacticWoman]

So true- removing them from our energetic billboard serves us best as it makes us feel more centered in own life and can spurr "the other " to reach out as they miss our energy feeding them

[@SusanWinter]

I love your term- energetic billboard-Fabulous! Thanks for your share.

[@SevySp]

Thank you Susan for this other great video. Just adding to GalacticWoman's comment: but if they reach out, they'll come back in our system even more powerfully because it's less fantasy and more real. I find that hard to handle. Also, about finding a passion, or a new hobby to center our energy on something else: that too is a great advice, however, after a while, I find I get pround of my new achievements and of course, who do I want to share them with? Haha that's really tough :) Thank you again! It's still very useful advice to hear. Best.

[@cleanslate8423]

Is this a conscious thing or subconscious that they are missing our energy? Do they know what made them reach out or do they suddenly just miss us?

[@lifeabroad4144]

@@SusanWinter hard to stop thinking the man that never promise me anything but the bad thing I'm falling for him can't stop messaging him or call.him to.the point he blocked me or ignored me I feel that I'm being over to my limit hope u help me😢

[@rastaman39]

GalacticWoman it’s hard bc I can still smell her scent

[@edwardmclaughlin7935]

Scarlet Johansen won't reply to my emails so I've replaced her with learning how to play chess. It's not going too well.

[@jessica76311]

😂 good luck

[@yourbffnat3602]

She wants someone who is determined, don't give up.

[@jessica76311]

@@yourbffnat3602 😂😂

[@yourbffnat3602]

@@jessica76311 I'm glad you caught my sarcasm! 😂

[@PsychedPerspective]

Yes! My health and well being is more important than any person. Also healing and reflecting. Stop chasing ppl, especially these narcissistic types. Who only play mind games and lead you on.

[@mayari6721]

my youtube recommendation really went too far now

[@astrophile_0721]

Hahaha 😂

[@iiiiiiiiiiisa]

For me it helps to realize that being in love is basically just a hormonal chaos. So get ur hormons normal again and its gone. Get ur serotonin up and ur high dopamin down

[@hassanal-shaikh6244]

I've been trying for more than six months to get over this person! I couldn't! It's literally breaking my heart into pieces! It might be true that my mental obsession is his source of energy! But I really don't know how could I possibly deal with this!

[@arwinv9816]

It's especially hard in quarantine,..when you can't see the person you love in person, and they decide to move on, It just drives you nuts!!!!. You keep texting, chatting, and thinking about them finally losing your mind. We must never attach to a person beyond which we can't come back!.

[@melanieeversley]

I was so glad you mentioned that item at the end about energy and people feeling your energy. That’s one of those situations no one can prove but I believe is true.

[@asmrhappycrumbling]

Helping others and putting smile on their faces is a form of healing...

[@Angelboy_04]

Sometimes I want to move on and sometimes I don’t. Either way, I know it’s horrible for my mental health and I need to do something about it so I can be more stable.

[@steviedoralles2247]

The last part of this totally blew my mind. It made total sense. It made more sense than the belief that if you are constantly thinking about someone it's likely that they are also thinking about you. I've never been convinced of that. For the past 6 months I think about this person every single day. I think about our past, what could've been, how much I'm hurt and still sad. I want to stop bc I accept that it has become an obsession that is not healthy and does not serve me. Not that any obsession is healthy. I now understand that by obsessing about this person they are connected with my energy. I am feeding them a part of me which means they are constantly surround by me without even knowing it. I don't care to remove myself so that they'll return but it makes sense that once I stop they'll probably feel a sense of loss or just feel like energetically we are no longer bonded. I'm glad I found this video. I will begin my new journey today. TY ❤️

[@asiabasia1758]

How are you now ?

[@unusualvibes32]

I stopped my obsession when I got my first dog and I found out that my dog changed everything! She stopped me from that obsession and replaced it with her .. now she's the only one I think of and I'm worried about.. I try to do everything to make her comfortable and happy with me .. and that took the obsession of this person away ☺️now I'm way too happy 😜♥️😄

[@emanaturalsaus]

Yesss:)

[@margaritakleinman5701]

That's great! Animals can truly change your life, for the better.

[@maddiezxy3796]

I know the habit must be broken but I see him everyday at school and whenever I listen to some relationship songs i will always be reminded. This is too hard! 😭

[@chrischris3022]

It’s quite interesting what you are saying about the energy. I noticed my last crush would text me back once i would stop thinking about her. Like she would feel the pressure Thanks for your advices

[@billdouglas3513]

Sometimes obsessing over someone can be entertaining as long as it doesn't interfere with sleep or other important functions. I'm obsessed with someone I see - knowing she looks at me only as a friend. Everyone needs someone special in their life and the mind creates that even if it's not there. I'm content with the relationship as it is - until the real one comes along

[@emilioisamongus]

This video is so good. This has worked for me. Shift your focus to obsess over something else, a positive, something for you. Also she mentions you’re obsessing over a result happening in the way you want it, it might happen for you but just not how you expect. But it won’t happen until you stop. It’s like you find your keys when you stop looking for them 💁‍♀️🌸

[@heatherfoust4760]

It’s odd, I’ve always heard of people getting this way with romantic interests, but I sometimes get this way about my friends as well. It’s kind of embarrassing and I try to hide it, but I think it’s cause I admire them so much.

[@richardgrant2948]

Hello Heather,, how are you doing today, how’s everything going Heather?

[@arycutester]

yesss friends tooooo

[@LtIsadeCaine]

I admit that I am mentally obsessed with this person. I had to rewatch this video multiple times to get this to sink in so I can work on ending this destructive habit.

[@teeahtate]

Yes, I understand. Emotions can be strong. I would add is what you are really looking for is who you are. You are projecting your need for love onto person. If you can see that it is not the other person that you are tied to but just the idea of being in love with somebody, it can help you break the link to the other person. Then you can find the right person who really wants to be with you.

[@Vanillajdicr]

Susan, love your very practical advice. Breaking the cycle of obsessive thinking isn't something other relationship consultants tackle. You're a treasure.

[@glisciousful]

I definitely agree with the energy aspect of this , I feel like I am feeding them my energy with my thoughts , and as soon as I’m away from them they must feel it because they don’t feel that energy that I give them . So yes very brilliant fact !!

[@mottony]

To everyone who is finding this hard to do in quarantine Try to distract yourself from him or her as much as possible, spend time with your family, watch tv, play videos games, listen to music, anything you can to forge about this one person. Why should they deserve to be on your mind 24/7 if they're only causing sad feeling, THEY SHOULDN'T DESERVE TO BE ON YOUR MIND, i don't mean that in a bad way, I'm going through this stuff too and it sucks I know, but start off by doing stuff that you enjoy, even if you lost interest in them try to regain that interest, it may hopefully help you forget 💖💖💖 Hope this helped :(

[@Mandy3141]

I wish people were more obsessed with me than I am with them

[@whimsina]

so true :c it hurts knowing no one isnt as obsessed with me too.

[@unapologetically_lupe]

I so needed this today. I know I need to let this person go but there's something holding me back. I thought to myself today that I'm letting my emotions overcome me and not thinking rationally. I know what I need to do and I just have to do it. I have to be brave and stop holding on to a "what if". I know my worth and HE is definitely NOT WORTH ME. Actions do speak louder than words!!!!!!

[@hubervi3671]

The love specialist offers the best solution in fixing and restoring broken relationships

[@hubervi3671]

Below,take his contact and chat him,on whazzap

[@hubervi3671]

±2348089808728⏯⏯💕💕.

[@alijecjiuiha8198]

They are the "Unresolved goal" and the gift they give you is displaying the possible future you can have, but "they are not the ones to sustain that future"-Wow this is THE diamond!

[@kanavgupta4280]

I’m so obsessed with her that I can’t even concentrate on what you’re saying and constantly thinking about her!

[@celissewillis9399]

Twin flame connection is different because you’ve got 24/7 telepathy, so it’s not obsession, but is viewed that way in a typical relationship template. A lot of the symptoms apply & you have to really learn to master your mind & step into a greater version in order to come back into a healthier state of being where it doesn’t feel obsessive.

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Celisse Willis,you are so beautiful and I will be glad to know you more ❤❤💓❤🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

[@happynewday9300]

Good evening my dear friend 🌹🙏🏻

[@skylarnext7914]

Replacing this obsession with any passion and habits is true! I did this and it worked! I used overthink about some one but then I distracted myself towards my study and daily routine! Just try to keep your focus in current moment, if you realized that you are thinking about " that" person then just try to observe the things and shapes front of you, observe their outline then slowly you will get back to your senses and this trick also worked for me

[@nicholablakely2832]

This advice is absolutely spot on! I was obsessing over someone for so long. I really didn’t know how to stop running that programme, it was on autopilot and nothing I tried worked and then I started focusing on work and my career and what I truly wanted and the more I focused on that the happier I felt and then things with my business started improving and every time that happened I would celebrate every little success by being super happy. I changed my focus from what I couldn’t have (the guy) to all the amazing things and people in my life and everything is just getting better and better. I still want the guy but I spend 95% of my day focused on other stuff that fills me up rather than being a nutcase obsessing over someone.

[@jackpetersen7545]

Nichola Blakely,You look cute 🌷,Hope you are not with a narcissist!

[@SatumainenOlento]

Also, I heard this trick! *"In your mind, change the name of your obsession."* That made so much sense to me, because after a while, the whole obsession seemed to be directed towards a non-existant man. Then it feels crazy to spend any minute of brain power on obsessing over mere fantasy. (Non-attractive name helps, do not curse him in your mind, because that does spend energy. Boring, common name is the best.) Problem is that I have mental image and a feel of him and it is harder to get over those. But again layering stuff on the top and getting busy in other parts of my life, helps. And emotions and feelings will fade if I do not feed them with anything. I hope. Also, I have started to check all other hansom men on the street. Just to get perspective and count how many possibilities there is to get attracted again. I know it is not that simple, but lets just get over this obsession. Even that I have this song repeating in my head: "Nothing compares, nothing compares to you" from Sineab O'Connor. Lol 😂 Much love for everybody! 💖

[@dutchiestudio]

thank you!

[@priyankajaiswal7756]

Omg! I feel you

[@heyeveryone]

The only person that is more addictive than this man is myself. My goal is truly to enhance my life. At first I thought it would be a man, then I got disappointed, then obsessed, and finally I would move onto another man. The cycle repeated until today. Today it ends. They cannot enhance my life. Only I can do that. That means buying nice clothes to dress my body in, going places where My soul is happiest, and working out so my soul is happier inside this vessel!! Thank you for this video!!

[@Maryam-bz5xm]

You can connect with hlm on what'aspp

[@heyeveryone]

@@Maryam-bz5xm quiet

[@abbdas22mohammed]

@@heyeveryone can I know more by talk with you Hey

[@Pacificat]

I can’t even begin to express how perfect this video was

[@desmondmiles8474]

I think I have mental illness because I can't stop thinking about that person all the time.

[@stormfalcon72]

Desmond Miles Me too bud! It’s frikken draining. Almost two months of solid obsession. I am doing the work though... but still.

[@ritalipa6306]

I hear you It's really hard to get over.

[@jackcalkins4232]

How do we get over it?

[@stormfalcon72]

Bacon Beast Drugs and alcohol.... And cheap hookers! Nah... you’ve got to get selfish and concentrate on healing and understanding ourselves better. Stay away from alcohol and drugs during this time.

[@kitaharunoki1736]

Same here. It’s been over a month and I can’t get this person out of my head.

[@ChiniWanders]

This energy is like magic. It’s insane how they feel our energy being transmitted into them.

[@user-yv1fh3fc8y]

After being heartbroken, I took Susan’s advice and went back to college which I enjoyed and used to escape, edify myself and to meet a partner who would reciprocate my love. It was a win, win, win, win outcome.

[@ivamaneva]

This was in my recommended.. I guess youtube is trying to tell me something 🙄🤔

[@kaitlynmadison.]

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🤔🤔🤔

[@Gogopowerandy]

Funny thing, when you said “coworker,” I felt understood. For almost a year, I was involved in a very intense emotional and physical affair with my coworker. He broke up with me many times, but he kept coming back each time. Then he has to move away. I tried to set aside goals and vacations to look forward to to distract myself, but lately I’ve been going through a tidal wave of depression over losing him, and I’ve lost interest in everything. This video is what I need to hear, and I hope I can get back on track.❤

[@belovedchild9812]

I went back to school to finish my BS degree, so I sit down and do coursework when ever I thing about the narc. I also started participating in cultural events like films, meetup groups, museum talks and lectures, and also church. I come home from church on Sundays and I map out my week to include schoolwork, therapy and fun cultural events throughout the week. This way, I am pursuing my interests, focusing my energy and attention on myself instead of the narc. At the end of the week I review what I did and enjoy my accomplishments -- giving myself big compliments for a job well done. I find that unstructured time can be quite triggering for me, so this approach also helps me manage my cPTSD triggers/flashbacks.

[@dorakriznjak3037]

Let's start not thinking about them!!! ✨✨✨

[@mrschloop686]

I fell in love with a lovely girl at my summer job, but we had to go back home to different countries. The love was still there, and we tried to make it work by facetiming alot, but the spark faded on her end, and I tried to cope with the love I felt while knowing they did not feel the same anymore. I needed this video to help overcome my obsessiveness of thinking what future we might have had together, or about things I would have done differently.

[@takundamtatabikwa4874]

Ma'am I just want to say that I'm extremely grateful for this video. I was honestly dying from overthinking and pain I got from long distance separation. I feel so much better and I will do my best to focus on other things

[@Ill11119]

Hey how's it hangin' I didn't want to admit I had any type of obsession, but everyday, without fail I think about him. From the last time we met and talked, I have found comfort and familiarity in the idea I might be calling him back to me by keeping him on my mind. I've thought long and hard, because I don't tend obsess, nor do I open up to people and I was able to that with this person. I felt understood, however, I need to let him go, I was impressed with his life stories, but I want to be more invested in creating stories of my own life. This person did not choose me, but I cannot keep choosing to think of a ghost, especially when I have a dreamy life of love and peace ahead. Love, love, love y'all Ivanna.

[@neckabuser]

It feels like KZbin is reading my mind. That video came out of nowhere when I actually needed it. Thank you, Susan! You really helped me. And I find your final conclusion on "keeping the energy alive" brilliant because this is what I actually experienced with "my" person without even realizing it. Liked&subscribed.

[@patriotic_pisces8401]

Thank you for this. That makes sense that it would be an extreme to a goal we cannot achieve. That actually makes me feel better about forgiving myself for having a hard time releasing the obsession. What I have been trying to replace it with is a new goal of working on myself. My physical, spiritual, and emotional health is becoming my main focus.

[@amalhasna7647]

Spiritual part helps alot from a personal experience good luck 🙏♥️

[@pookamonsta]

yes, i needed to hear this explained to me in a logical way. the problem is i cant find anyway to put my thoughts and efforts towards anything else. i dont enjoy anything. he was the only thing that made me feel again. i cant even imagine anything more exciting or tantalizing. not even the best drugs compare to how i felt with him..

[@jackcalkins4232]

Hello. I am having the same problem. It’s been about a year since you posted this, how are you doing now?

[@amazingdoublea]

I'm watching this laughing at myself. She's just so CORRECT in her analysis of these situations

[@funkyshade]

Susan, Thank you for your no-nonsense, to the point explanation of how this works in our mind. I realized after this that I've been keeping this rumination active in my mind by feeding it attention, and I also realized that it was serving me no purpose to keep being busy with something that's only causing my hurt. You're absolutely right about the restlessness and the lack of sleep, and might I add: lack of appetite and an upset stomach. I'm coming to grips with the fact that it's simply over between me and my ex, that I'm looking back at it through rose-tinted glasses, and that I can only help myself by accepting the truth of that and to move on and focus on things that will make me feel better and grow.

[@daisyycolburn777]

Thank you so so much for sharing this helpful information! I've been struggling these past couple of weeks obsessing over my ex and it has gotten to the point where I had intrusive thoughts of hurting myself and so I've decided enough is enough. I've finally found my passion once again and just thinking about where I want to be in the next 10 years, really excites me. I'm now determined to reach my goals and become this independent, sociable, and kind hearted person like I once was before I've met my ex and I'm happy. 🌸🌸🌸

[@오천국-j8s]

It's been more than half year and no fkn day passed without thinking about him

[@lilygleason4363]

The KZbin algorithm is giving us all some tough love. Thanks Susan!

[@SnapSphere360]

You are 100% true whenever i was very low I kept on going with my degree. Was hard but really helpful to focus rather than thinking of someone because i knew my studies were going to rip off in the future. Thanks your suggestions are really helpful