How to Never Run Out of Things to Say in a Conversation

[@trejea1754]

It’s painful to be lonely, wanting to have more social interaction, but at the same time wanting to escape from people and be alone because interacting is exhausting.

[@odinswar596]

that's exactly how I feel. I usually fill the emptiness with t.v shows and imagine the characters were real and live life through them. it's pretty Sad and pathetic but it's all I know.

[@arpadzigisfari5819]

You sound like an introvert. (I am as well.)

[@deeanna8448]

I can really relate to this comment.

[@leadnsteel1428]

I went from having a good social circle to having only a few friends. I am married to one of my best friends though. I've known her since we were 14

[@lisahorne2394]

Amen. Me too.

[@thoaily8352]

I've been noticing that when I am in a conversation, my stream of thoughts is stuck around being nervous about what to say and how to say that detaches itself from the steam of thoughts of the people in the real conversation

[@Meejateacher]

Yes, here you are in what Kahneman labels system 2 thinking, where the brain is operating self consciously in a very slow deliberate way. This is useful when seeking solutions to problems or in ‘fear’ situations where we need to be hyper careful. However to enter the flow of conversation one needs to let go into faster intuitive (seemingly spontaneous) action/behaviour/thinking. We do this when we feel safe. One of my techniques is to imagine that strangers are actually family members I have not met before, or old friends who I have forgotten.

[@205rider8]

Ask people questions about subject matter they enjoy. Then listen to the answers.

[@Irish_Lass2024]

I think social anxiety causes this, and then when we feel awkward because our brain is thinking of what to day and we feel insecure about it, it causes the anxiety to increase, and this increase causes further blocking in the brain that prevents us being to freely converse the way we want to be able to.

[@joycegreer9391]

Yup.

[@joycegreer9391]

@@Irish_Lass2024 Yes, it is feeling anxious and self-conscious.

[@elizabethm3327]

"...you just kind of slink away into the darkness ashamed and embarrassed and feeling like a failure." Man, I felt that.

[@TerryPullen]

Try setting a goal of learning something from every conversation. Start with open, general questions to warm things up then if there is time get more specific. Genuinely try to learn something from the other person rather than trying to construct a back and forth exchange.

[@HowCommunicationWorks]

Yes! Curiosity is so important.

[@penelopepitstoppp]

I love this! Thank you.

[@nokim1]

Excellent advice! That’s truly the key.

[@brendagraham8611]

Great advice!

[@joycegreer9391]

Great idea!

[@Alice_kh]

How to not be boring: Be interesting. Got it.

[@HowCommunicationWorks]

Sometimes the obvious answer is the correct answer. But I also tell you how to be interesting: by consuming large amounts of high-quality culture, meaning books, newspapers, movies, poems, art, literature, magazines, etc. That’s how you become interesting. If you don’t do the work, you won’t get the outcome

[@penelopepitstoppp]

I've always said, "If you're bored then you are boring". I never understood people who say "I'm bored" < - - - - - That's crazy.

[@DaniGirl6]

@@penelopepitstoppp if you learn about ADHD people and you'll understand why some people are bored without being boring. If you think ADHD is an attention issue, then you have never truly known a person who has ADHD. Isn't that odd that the name is so misleading?

[@AceFace50001]

Respectfully, it seems to be a bit like people pleasing and slightly disingenuous to consume large amounts of "interesting" information strictly for the purpose of being interesting to other people. It also assumes that a person is a good judge as to what other people might find interesting. That being said, I am probably one of the worst conversationalists imaginable. 🤣

[@facundodamianborgesparins6592]

@@DaniGirl6 do you think you can expand on this or give me some context? I'm really interested on getting to know better about what you mention

[@denisemangan1413]

I used to be so shy before I started nursing, but this occupation opened my eyes to the world. I could even talk to older people. I love listening to a person talk about themselves & really listen- rather than putting my own 2 cents worth all the time. I have to catch myself when I want to interrupt or prejudge what they say.

[@HowCommunicationWorks]

Nurses make the world go round.

[@blueskyeranch6495]

You’d be a great flight attendant. I love that i get to meet 300 new friends every day. During boarding, i just talk to people about their lives. People love telling me about themselves, but you have to ask them.

[@Oyuki-Mayonesa]

What do u ask them initially to get them to open up?

[@sammierunner1328]

As a senior, I now have conversation problems because the things that used to occupy my life are past, work, children, horses, even many family and friends no longer take up daily life. I no longer trust the news so that is not an option, based on your advice I will explore other things to read about that will give me something to talk about.

[@ek2947]

I can identify with what you are saying. I retired slightly more than a year ago. That's when I realised that work often monopolised my conversation with others and others, probably picking that cue would bring up work when we happen to meet. Now that that is gone, conversation topics kind of dry up. So apart from reading, I've taken to doing things...anything, nevermind if it sounds ridiculous or like a silly whim. Among these are starting a little cricket farm for my neighbour's pet and latest.... reading and planning for a long long walk called the Camino. Whether I walk it or not is immaterial. It's interesting to see what other people are passionate about and life on the other side of the globe. ( And also talking to someone on youtube comments, haha) Wishing you all the best Sammie

[@DiogenestheGreek]

Most tv news appears to be very biased. i don't watch news anymore.

[@anthonyjpadilla]

Just talk about what you used to talk about who cares if it’s the past. I’m 42 and love talking to people older than me. I love their stories.

[@edwardbrock3807]

This is spot on, i use to be extremely awkward and thought id never grow. The key is to get out there, learn different things vary your taste. Taking up art def helped me out, but time and experience is crucial. And never stop learning/exploring

[@sunnyblue1244]

That’s why I struggled making friends growing up. Was pretty sheltered and only got into things I was interested or what I was comfortable with or allowed to indulge in. Couldn’t talk about music, books, celebs, movie etc with other children. Now as an adult even if I’m not into something I can still talk about it. As I get older I come to terms that the more my mind expands the more I have to share with others. I’m still expanding. I’m only 23.

[@donaldgrump5393]

Wow this one really hit the mark. I was expecting another top 5 questions to ask, but in reality even if you were to memorise them, you will likely sound out of place or in a way it sounds like an interrogation, or a job interview. Below are Top 10 Key take always in a Too Long, You Will Read Anyway format: 1. To be interesting in a conversation you need to have interesting thoughts. 2. To have interesting thoughts, you need to lead an interesting life. Read books, news, art, stay current with events, watch movies, talk to cab drivers, go out there and do things. It provides content to say later in a conversation. People usually talk about their experiences, things they read, watched, heard or done. 3. If all you do is sit at home and browse Instagram, memes, play games etc, don’t expect to be able to have great conversation skills (unless it’s about the games). Bring variety to your life and you’ll never run out of things to say. 4. You have an infinite stream of thoughts in your head so in theory, you ALWAYS have things to say. 5. To learn how to tap into your thoughts, practice free writing. Write anything you’re thinking with no filters for 1, 5, 15 mins. Do it for few weeks. It teaches you how to consciously access your thoughts at will. (Make sure you shred the paper later…). Eventually you won’t need it anymore and you’ll be able to tap into your thoughts anytime and anywhere. 6. Ask open ended questions about people, and then follow up questions. Where are they from, how do they like their job, how is their country back home etc. Be curious. 7. Conversion is a skill like any other, it can be learnt but you need to practice. The more you do, the better you will be. 7a. Talk to taxi drivers. It’s great free practice. Learn some facts about the world so you can relate to with an interesting fact and ask follow up questions. 9. Subscribe to this channel for some great advice in the ocean of click baiting nothingness on KZbin ( “Learn how to be great speaker in 10min!”). This one is bonus point from me….

[@ovidiudrobota2182]

My life's motto: "learn something new and worth sharing daily." I read and write daily. When I'm speaking with people, I have lots of things to talk about, but many of them are not reciprocating. Am I the boring one? What is there to say about a person that doesn't reciprocate? Isn't that person boring? I'm doing the talking but most people never ask basic questions. Rare is the interesting one. :) The sad part is that I thought I was the problem, and not the other one.

[@HowCommunicationWorks]

If people don’t reciprocate you need to find new conversational partners. Conversation is an art, and not everyone is good at it.

[@jfo3000]

You need to let them talk, ask questions to ascertain their topics of interest, to find out what they want / can talk about. It's a two way street, it's not all about you. When I listen to someone that makes me drink from the firehouse, I get bored. It's really about searching for ENGAGEMENT, not about impressing people with all that you know.

[@ania5038]

I need to remember to be curious because my mind seems to be hardwired to be superficial and bored (maybe I have ADHD lol) but at the same time I know that you can love anyone if you get to know them.

[@jamesbunch8932]

I've noticed that with some people -- who are more open, and who seem to want the conversation to be enjoyable -- that conversations feel natural and easy. With other people, they seem to be uninterested in the conversation with me going well; as I'd they had already judged me to not be worth their time, or that they just don't want to have a conversation or meet someone new, though they find themselves in just that position. I think your conversation partner's attitude toward you, or openness to initiating conversation with a new partner, that largely makes conversation feel successful or not.

[@HowCommunicationWorks]

Agreed 100%. It takes two to tango!

[@lilblondiebear]

I have ADHD and am constantly thinking of a dozen things at once, so it's not that I necessarily have a lack of interesting thoughts to share - it's that I get easily sidetracked and forget what I wanted to say! I genuinely wish I had a nickel for everytime I lost my train of thought mid-sentence or simply could NOT recall a word I've used hundreds of times, it's embarrassing and it sucks! 😭

[@darrencoakley7765]

same here so annoying

[@gibsonzak75]

Ya I get that sometimes, I cut people off to get my words out before I forget them. I also find my brain is in turbo drive and I have to smoke a lot of weed to slow my brain down. Which gives me social anxiety and I don't want to go anywhere.

[@Chaliceofwine]

No worries, what you have is called "HIGH IQ" ! Dont mean to sound like a braggard, but yeah, my hubby, son, and I have it😁😉 Too much stuff in our nuggin', too fast way of thinking, polyglots, what can I say? It's hard, but with right kinda people to surround ourselves with, and a great sense of humor, we're thriving!

[@PaulBosMusic]

Or like in my case, I sometimes abruptly butt into a conversation so I dont forget in two seconds what I wanted to say while waiting for my turn.

[@yohanessaputra9274]

I have this problem too but I know a solution that maybe not to your liking. It's reading books, and I mean read HARD books. When I first read philosophy books, I was always had trouble following what it said. But gradually, because in philosophy you need coherence and clarity, I trained myself to memorize and kept getting better. Now I have a slight problem with this, maybe a few occurrences that happened but they are a minimum

[@bradwilliams4921]

I struggle to find things to talk about. I don’t want to talk about myself but on the other hand when I start asking other people about themselves it sometimes seems like an interrogation. The gift for gab is definitely not one of my many blessings. I seem to do best when I am a relative expert on a subject and convey that information to others. Free writing sounds like a good idea. Thanks for the video.

[@bwash6743]

Me too!! Exactly.

[@csea4672]

I used to be really good at communication but I went down the partying route and once I got back to my clean self, no weed etc, I had a really hard time connecting with ppl and having my old social decorum… basically having social anxiety and feeling like I didn’t have anything interesting to contribute bc I didn’t trust in my processing speed and facial expressions. I feel that I’m better now but I still have this sky energy even tho I’m normally a personable and friendly person. Anyway, thanks for the tips!

[@VeronicaMist]

Hello! 👍🏻😊. Thank you very much for these videos! I’ve been self employed working from home for almost 20 years and my conversation skills are almost Zero. I have things to say or contribute to the conversation but when I start to speak and the people I’m with turn to me and listen I suddenly can’t form a sentence or freeze or can’t remember what things are called and can’t unravel the thought into a sentence. I think my thoughts are more visualizations + feelings, and putting that into a sentence is apparently difficult. 😅. Like sentences are an orderly progression of a thought, when what I have in my head is the entire picture including how it feels - never mind trying to come up with a topic! So I’m trying to say thank you for caring to talk about these things. 🙏🏻 I’m glad I found your channel.

[@bwash6743]

This is my problem as well!! Thanks for putting it in words!

[@VeronicaMist]

@@bwash6743 😅

[@bwash6743]

@VeronicaMist it is funny. Because I too was self-employed, an only child, and I am just now working with other people as my official career! It is really showing just how awkward I am. 😰

[@charhutchings]

I heard once “ if you want to be interesting be interested. “ He’s also saying live a full life to have interesting things to say. This is probably one reason why parents with young kids might not be interesting. They only talk about there kids bc that’s what they so much time thinking about nothing else.

[@jessicavallee3831]

When I was younger, I loved reading and I had a ton of things that I read/knew about... I guess I was just in the wrong company because nobody seemed interested in what I tried to talk about. Now I am a mom and the only thing I have to talk about is poopy diapers, peekaboo, how to count to five... reading any book that has enough words to form two paragraphs is a mental marathon for me.

[@HenriettaP]

I can relate. I used to work in IT and no one where I worked was interested in the arts or social issues, two passions of mine. They looooved talking about football though - at length. I would try to take a polite interest, but gee it felt lonely and tedious at times. I’d end up learning heaps about their lives but they’d know little about mine because they just weren’t interested in what I was and I became self conscious about talking about it as a result.

[@olyasorokina3780]

As an immigrant, almost every new person you meet asks you where you're from, how long you've been in the US, how often you go back home, how much family do you have in the US and how much abroad, etc. Especially if you're in a service type occupation like a cab driver or waitress. You start your day friendly and polite but at some point you break and become irritable and resentful after the 12th person that day asks you the same set of questions. It will wear anyone out. It's invasive. A person who asks you about literally anything else is a breath of fresh air. And the dynamic changes completely when you are the paying customer/ principal. No invasive questions when you’re a customer at a restaurant or doctor or bank or you’re buying or selling real estate. Please talk to your immigrants like normal people with lives. Ask immigrant-y stuff later after you know them a bit better, please. Thank you.

[@HowCommunicationWorks]

I can hear myself asking those questions to cab drivers!! Oh no. I’ll do better.

[@truthseeker3773]

Oh no! I've done this a lot to cab drivers. Omg and I thought I was being friendly and truly interested. I never thought other people did the same thing.

[@silvaskiproductions3937]

This can apply to people who might fit any stereotypes. I'm tall and black and people always ask me if I play basketball 😒 like bruh how unimaginative are you lol. If I met an immigrant like yourself, I would ask what is something about the US that you dislike or like compared to your homeland and it could lead to a conversation about cultural ideas rather than personal relationships and such, which I personally find to be more meaningful and engaging. Key takeaway from this comment is to be unique in how you approach social situations. Peace!

[@penelopepitstoppp]

@@HowCommunicationWorks I do like to guess where someone is from though, but I do the same with people in the states by guessing which state by their accent. I rarely miss with Michiganders and Pittsburghers.

[@valerieh84]

I am with you on that. I have learnt to take control of the interaction from the start by throwing in a comment about stuff that ordinary folks would be interested in on that day: the weather, some news item or anything seasonal. If you present yourself as similar in your interests to your interlocutor, they will usually treat you like any other human being. Big hugs 🤗

[@PaulBosMusic]

Hard to do with ADHD and depression. The latter, diminishes your recall of "happy" things that would make a conversation flow. I've had other people in social situations tell stories of interesting experiences identical to mine, yet they were the ones telling them first and getting positive vibes. Whereas I was standing by the side thinking why I didn't even think of recalling a similar story. If you can't flourish in a social situation like that you've probably got a lot of self-work and self-love to unravel.

[@oreodepup]

I think what he missed here is the ability to embellish stories and make them exciting. You and another person could have done the exact same thing and had the same experience but if they are better at telling the story they will captivate the audience better than you. I can’t really tell you how to do this as there are many different variables but I’d suggest just watching good story tellers and analyzing what they say, what they emphasize, and how they discuss the details. It won’t simply come to you if you want it you have to learn how to do it.

[@unclemick-synths]

@@oreodepup I agree. Some stand-up comedians are great at telling stories. They already know the punchline and the stops along the way and often start out with something that catches one's attention. I'm not saying we need to be funny, just have the story prepared - even if that's just knowing what the destination is.

[@ShalomSimplified]

@@oreodepup I think one of the universal keys to telling an engaging story is not getting hung up on details. Some of us have a hard time doing this, but about the best way to kill a good story is to stop and go, "Oh, how many days ago was that?" or "What was his name?" etc. When you learn how to gloss over forgotten details and quickly move on, stories will flow better.

[@KlutzyBoss]

@@ShalomSimplified ', but about the best way to kill a good story is to stop and go, "Oh, how many days ago was that?" or "What was his name?" Your example doesn't make sense cos why would somebody ask a question the other person wouldn't know the answer to

[@ShalomSimplified]

@@KlutzyBoss You've misunderstood. The storyteller is asking themselves those questions out loud. They forget details like dates and names and stop and try to remember them, which interrupts the flow of the story. If you do this enough times, others lose interest in the story.

[@ropeskipz]

wow, i've been isolating a lot of years now, had hallucinations and auditory hallucinations ( hearing voices) since 3 years, now i met this wonderful girl and i really want to be the way i was, ive just tried free writing and its been soooo awesome man thank you so much, i went into freewriting as i was listening that video, thinking i have a long way to go, but all of a sudden i created a very interesting text

[@HowCommunicationWorks]

Amazing!

[@lorettadevaney311]

Hello! Your speech is so relatable. Simple, usable, everyday language. I remember being a pre-teen and feeling awkward, not knowing how to talk to boys. My mother was being helpful, when I asked her about it, but she uttered the same vague, general platitudes mentioned earlier, trying to be helpful, but saying the safe, tried & true phrases like "Just be yourself, honey!". Sweet and loving, but too vague to help me in my situation especially at that undeveloped awkward stage in my life. I needed specifics. I needed phrases, sentences word for word, that I could apply and then sort of flesh-out on my own, maybe practice before my first boy-girl party. How I wish something like this had been around back then! Certainly would have added to my confidence, and we all know how much confidence matters in trying to interact with people. But, actually, life is a lot like your first boy-girl party over and over again, when you think about it.🙂 A new job meeting all new co-workers, moving to a new city and getting to know your new neighbors, people at the corner coffee shop, any new college, and so on. The life stuff anyone comes up against throughout their daily life. This was, I think, very simple, ordinary, and everyday useful. Liked it very much.

[@pannihto7588]

Although I completely agree with the author It's also important to remember that it takes two to tango. Sometimes it is not your fault that the conversation isn't taking off, you may throw in things that you deem interesting and worth discussing but the other party is lacking knowledge/interest/willingness to make an effort to keep the conversation flowing That of course does not mean that you don't have to work to improve yourself

[@summerbreeze1955]

I come from a non talking dysfunctional set up. But my saving grace was my big curiosity from age 2 and visiting all the tenants' in the house I lived in. There was never a dull moment learning about people and diversity. It was such a big buz for my lively child mind, I'm often aware my throw away remarks often make people laugh and brightens their day! luv n light x PS your vids rock!

[@lezmkasd]

Really enjoyed your talk. I was surprised myself to be so engaged it felt like I was in a conversation with you. I’ll try freewriting as a way to practice getting my thoughts out to words. The hardest part for me when I meet a stranger is that I feel I have TOO much thoughts in my head and it’s like tv static in my brain.

[@keltyk]

I used to be gregarious and read a lot. Travelled, had a fair circle of friends. People thought I was handsome and I had no idea how much privilege that got me. I got away with being quite individualistic and kind of weird because of it. Then I started getting old and not so hot. I'd shut myself away and lost my social skills by then. People glaze over or won't listen. If I try to read a book now, my brain gets very sleepy. Not sure what to do, but at least I had a life once. I also have my main passion in life... my subject and craft to keep me going. It's the social interaction of selling yourself to make a living at it though... that's hard now.. after many quick years of self isolation. Not sure I have the energy to recover

[@jaimejaragonaragon7968]

Thanks, for the video. I appreciate the logic you put forth. There are no short cuts. I found myself rolling my eyes as I heard your video, as I told myself, duh of course, and repeated "you have to think about interesting things and then you will be able to talk about interesting things" thanks again for reminding me.

[@HowCommunicationWorks]

Glad it was helpful!

[@111Phoenix777]

I like this guy a lot. I don't know his name, but I think he'd be an amazing person to have as a friend. I don't know if I would describe him as "eloquent", but I would say he's highly articulate and fascinating to listen to. When I think of "eloquent" I think of someone like MLK, or RFK, or JFK -- someone who's brilliant at formal speeches.

[@joycehaines34]

Thank you you tube so much content. Don’t be afraid to share yourself with strangers, it brings them out too.

[@dmschell]

You have something to teach , hang in there it is needed by many.

[@jacobzamora6267]

Thanks for this video. The advice about consuming interesting things makes a lot of sense. If someone talks about something I'm really into, that will trigger something I can contribute. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen a lot and I feel I can only talk freely/comfortable about very few things (video games, some TV shows, college admissions for high schoolers, self improvement, and maybe computer science & programming). So I'm aware that knowing a wide range of topics helps but I'm not sure which topics I should look into to improve my general knowledge base. I've browsed through netflix to find documentaries but only a few interest me. I know there are a lot of educational youtube channels but I'm having a difficult time finding content that would make me want to learn more. Recently, I've been trying to make a habit of reading more fiction, self-help books, and the news so I guess I have that going.

[@shannoninalaska]

Don't you ever just get curious about other people's lives? Let that be the catalyst for talking. Maybe in the beginning just make it a script that runs through every conversation and maybe eventually that will be the seed to cultivate a real curiosity about other people and longer conversations.

[@MrDoyley35]

Ask them about themselves or follow a popular tv show like “love island” or the news then the probability that someone will also be interested in talking about that subject matter it is higher.

[@Kurtiswayne91]

Learn about health and fitness, diet and exercise. Start traveling and talk about your favorite places. Learn an instrument, learn more about your favorite bands or artists. Learn about mental health. Learn about history, war, ancient times, culture, revolutionary discoveries. Learn about things scientists are studying and trying to create for the future. Learn about nature, learn about 3rd world countries, learn about finances, real estate, the stock market, politics, religion. Pay more attention to people in conversation and what they do and look into those things. So the next time you see them you can say “hey I was looking into ____, I thought it was really cool….” And there you go great conversation starter. Do more things, don’t do the same thing you always do every single day. Crest new memories for yourself that are worth sharing. The more you do, the more you have to talk about. Also, talk to more people, even if you’re not good at it. You’re giving yourself more practice as well as absorbing new ideas of what you could do or learn about and then talk about in conversation.

[@Kurtiswayne91]

Here’s a few interesting KZbin channels Joe Scott Vsauce Mr.Ballen Thoughty2 You can always bring up something to talk about from these guys. “Oh my gosh I saw this video and it was the craziest story…”

[@MrAskOnce]

Learn from one connection and bring up what you learned in the subsequent connections. I’ve been building a network marketing business for years and always have things to talk about because of all the wonderful people I’ve learned from.

[@charissejohnson1823]

One of my favorite all time professors! Thanks Dr Lambert!😊

[@HowCommunicationWorks]

Hi Charisse. Thank you for your kind words.

[@silkroad1201]

Luckily I can't get people to shut up long enough for me to say anything, so I don't usually have this problem

[@gabrielavargas9015]

How do you accomplish that?

[@tonyaregan6473]

5 years later- Hello! I give you credit for remaining on topic even if you were seemingly talking into the void! Well done. Grace and poise in action.

[@HowCommunicationWorks]

Thank you, Tonya!!

[@grantnunmaker9341]

Just wanted to say I think you're content is great and that you are communicating it in such a way that I think I may learn something that helps me actually so keep up the good work I think what you're doing is helpful

[@HowCommunicationWorks]

That means a lot to me, Grant. Thank you.

[@marlee1308]

this guy knows what he’s talkin about ‼️

[@dvduadotcom]

This is all stuff that I do, especially with cab drivers., Uber drivers, you can bring up conversation based on the music they're playing, or what is hanging in their car, etc...

[@tahitihawaiiblue]

Thank you for the reminder that in conversation we try to convey our thoughts. For some reason I’m a person who keeps suppressing my own thoughts from my own self.

[@Cwgrlup]

There are some people who I can listen to for hours; there are others who just aren’t interesting. When all else fails, ask people about themselves: most will be able to direct the conversation to something that interests them. Active listening can be hard when the other person is boring, but its good practice.

[@verycherry4459]

You mentioned being interested in working with people who have chronic illnesses. Most people when they ask how you are don't really want to know, so it's polite to just say 'hanging in there' on a bad day and ask how they're doing and go into a happier subject unless it's a doctor's appointment. Then it is a good idea to lay it out there. In a social situation if a person is in between jobs (or worse yet for introductions...on disability) and doesn't have a family, how does a person respond to questions because those are the first questions people ask and it seems to make people feel awkward when they can't relate to that and they feel there is even less in common. What are the options?

[@brianr9188]

You can only speak the thoughts currently in your head. If your thoughts are mostly about your anxiety, ie, am I boring, is he focusing on my physical appearance, does he see me as unsuccessful, etc , you will have nothing to speak about but your state of anxiety, which will manifest as 'nothing'. The old adage 'be yourself', allows you to accept, appreciate, 'own' your flaws as well as your strengths so that your mind is free to explore other, more interesting, thoughts and contribute to the conversation. Another thing is, if you are not knowledgeable enough to talk about a certain subject, then don't be afraid to redirect the topic to one that you are more familiar with. Of course it has to relate to the current discussion to avoid sounding awkward. Ask yourself, what does this topic remind me of, and then change the direction of the discussion.

[@111Phoenix777]

Yes, I would definitely recommend that for anyone. Emulate the writers, speakers, artists that you greatly admire. You'll subconsciously learn their speech patterns. If you do that for a number of people, you'll have an amalgamation, and eventually develop your own style.

[@nokim1]

I think my genuine love for people, my desire to understand everyone, and my overall inquisitiveness help me to never struggle with this issue. I never run out of things to say. I just don’t feel like talking if I’m not vibing with the person I’m talking with. I don’t want to force it if I’m not feeling it.

[@ed-od9sd]

it makes sense that one can never get into the stream of conscious when only wanting to be fake and superficial which makes so hard to come up with new but relevant thoughts that adds to a conversation he/she is having.

[@karynwith-a-y6686]

I appreciate the real ideas here. Solid info. Stay real, all♥️ for we are fearfully and wonderfully made!

[@tammynichols1355]

Thank you 💕 and I am going to remember this one

[@jims7001]

I've been in that situation where I want to further engage the other person in conversation but draw a blank. Thank you for the suggestions.

[@hannahmitchell87]

I'm sorry your livestream was lonely! So I'll say 'hello', albeit 4 years late! Not sure why the algorithm showed me this but I'm pleased it did! Definitely seen the input/output correlation first hand. Deteriorated noticeably since living alone & going out less. Thank you for a thought-provoking video!

[@HowCommunicationWorks]

Hello there, Hannah.

[@jackiehennick4832]

Growing up in Chicago and now living in the rural south, I have very little to talk about with the locals. They are all about fishing, hunting, church and the fact that I am a yankee. I have become very isolated.

[@barbararice1]

Thank you for this insightful video. Your advice to practice free writing to help you listen to your own thoughts makes me realize that I tend to judge and repress my own thoughts and feelings. I marvel at how some people can tell interesting, entertaining stories about simple everyday experiences, whereas I tend to judge my own thoughts and experiences as not being interesting enough to share.

[@LocSista07]

I can definitely relate

[@jeannemoore9792]

This was helpful! I made a list of my interests, but I think I struggle to find people who share those interests. I'm thinking about how I can broaden my interests. You've given me a lit to think about. Thank you!

[@yeanchai6277]

Thank you. I just became aware that I have not fill my input with interesting thoughts for some time.

[@rosekopelowitz5069]

"You just slink away into the darkness feeling very embarrassed and ashamed and like you did something wrong..." Sounds like you already know me pretty well.

[@HowCommunicationWorks]

I know myself!

[@budcrane]

i just discovered you! Great stuff !!!

[@HowCommunicationWorks]

Thank you.

[@perrizepeda9638]

Much appreciation for your ideas here. I have always been interested in learning about others and their life experiences, to hear world view, and why they think and behave the way they do. I feel humbled every time. I love to learn from different perspectives. There are endless topics to talk about. Sensitivity is essential. Tuning in intuitively, heart-centered, and being unassuming are vital to connection.

[@scatterbrained1457]

Just going by the title and not having watched the video, I wish more people would run out of things to say. If they ran out of things to say, they could just listen and give others a chance to talk. I have been looking through your work to see if you have anything on the nonstop talker. They are the worst.

[@Veronicawardwell]

Thank you for the interesting thoughts !

[@Beech1900pilot]

Good video. I am working on being more sociable with everyone. You've given me much food for thought.

[@Windytune]

In hearing this, it sounds like it’s beneficial to have general knowledge. Immersing in things that interest others. Learning a lot about niche things may only beneficial in those circles. Otherwise folks’ eyes will glaze over.

[@templehillsfunk]

These are great videos! I can't wait to have my daughter view and study them this summer to prepare for school next fall.

[@livinglifeleona]

I agree with this. Good conversations are exchanges of information on a topic both parties are interested in. We share what we know and ask each other questions. The result is we both come out more knowledgeable. Some basic universal topics anyone can talk about can lead to good conversations, and you mentioned them all. Family, dreams/hopes, work, movies, etc. 👍

[@HowCommunicationWorks]

Well said!

[@judymartuscello114]

That's why I have nothing to say?? Because I don't know anything??? Whaaaaaaaa!

[@bevivision2503]

Thank you so much for this wonderful video. It is helpful and encouraging. 👍🏼

[@redcarpetformalwear3243]

What a fun and engaging class would be to learn literature through songs from the song writers you mentioned. Most people love singing, listening, memorizing, analyzing, free writing etc.

[@BobbiDoll]

Just found you. I look forward to hearing more in the future.

[@sharonallen2020]

Thank you for your videos! You've given me some ideas on what to focus on and put into practice. The most important one for me may be to do more free writing, as I often feel like I struggle to form sentences in conversation because of nervousness and lack of practice. Reading more and doing more memorization of poetry, and making sure to get out and not only experience things but try to put it into words for myself may help me be a more comfortable conversationalist. I'm glad I found your videos today!

[@carolapostolos8929]

Hello! Thank you for sharing your information It's very helpful. 😊

[@nikoallard4618]

I found watching alot of funny stuff like standup comedians and funny movies/tv shows also helps with making some jokes at conversations. I learned the hard way though that one needs to be carefull when it comes to sarcastic humor because not everywhone grasps it 😊 good video 👍

[@samuellaramsey5963]

Thanks so very much!

[@robertkeller3372]

Your ideas are vital

[@mcoffeecation2153]

I would say this is spot on. Good advice.

[@TP-om8of]

I like to talk about me, but no one else does. I guess that’s why I like going on job interviews.

[@KelvinTroyJohnson]

Can you imagine being an Uber driver who is asked these same “who, what, when, where, how” questions 20 times a day? In cases you were wondering, that’s what the ear buds are for. Nothing wrong with riding in silence. They enjoy that most.

[@Rppiano]

😂 good point

[@zaradarling2750]

Excellent advice, I’ve learned a lot from watching and listening to your video. I am now going to make a real conscious effort to read a lot more interesting content/literature/poetry, and practice free writing a lot more than I do currently. Hello from the UK, and thank you 🙏

[@HowCommunicationWorks]

You can do it!

[@wjcarter5224]

Very helpful! Thank you for opening my eyes. I'll start reading more books that are educational rather than light novels. I'm not saying they are "less than", just not as helpful in conversation.

[@donate1sttt]

I'm watching from Agency Iowa. Just stumbled on your awesome channel

[@HowCommunicationWorks]

Iowa in the house.

[@lisatomsha8493]

Interesting video! Great ideas. Thanks for posting!

[@maricilezafarte3499]

Hello 👋🏻 thanks for doing this!😉

[@puramichel2060]

Very interesting ...

[@kallen9731]

Most ppl I meet in passing are not likely for me to meet again so I don’t mind cutting to the core of the most important subject in the world. If they know Jesus. Share the gospel, awkward or not. Share the gospel. There is nothing more important you can talk about. The ppl who don’t want to discuss it are the ones who are still lost, so let them think you’re the awkward one and share it with them. They’re the ones who need to hear it. Social norms should go out the window, salvation of souls is most important

[@suraya1224]

Meditating is very challenging. Best not to try to STOP thoughts, but just be AWARE of having them. Eventually, you may realize they are just a distraction from the oresent moment, which is the true reality. The past doesn't exist, the future hasn't happened yet. "The Power Of Now", E. Tolle

[@kristy4297]

I am grateful for your lessons, I have fun and although this video is 4 yo I'm grateful it's still up. Thank you for helping us

[@cs31415]

Thanks. Great video. There is a typo in the link in the description.

[@HowCommunicationWorks]

Thanks for that!

[@summerbreeze1955]

I think it's important to get the balance right. The ol yin and yang, withdrawal balanced with action luv n light x

[@jacobzamora6267]

When trying to improve your general knowledge base and trying to have interesting things to say, how do you determine what to read/watch/learn about without feeling bored or pressurized?

[@HowCommunicationWorks]

There is an almost infinite supply of things to read or watch. Pick something that doesn’t bore you. Don’t make excuses. Just get started.

[@sunnyblue1244]

My KZbin addiction has solved this problem for me🤡 I go from old dead Hollywood stars, how to clean your mattress, the multiverse theory and then for some odd reason at night, videos on mummies. I’ve even watched a man make a mud house barefoot. I don’t recommend spending hours of KZbin but I’ve learned a lot of many things and topics.

[@hannahmitchell87]

@@sunnyblue1244 Now I'm intrigued how to clean a mattress! XD

[@sunnyblue1244]

@@hannahmitchell87 Do it!

[@bradendredge6809]

Wow. I am seriously loving this content. Thank you.

[@michaelarnold417]

I hate when people ask me questions, it invades my sense of privacy and makes me feel exposed and uncomfortable.

[@HenriettaP]

I think you need to learn the art of deflecting questions with a vague or peremptory answer and turning the conversation back to them with a question about them. Most people love to talk about themselves, given the chance.

[@michaellockhart6632]

I love talking about the weather, just the weather. I used to talk about elections and vaccines, forget that. Now it's just about the weather. It was hot today, huh.

[@HenriettaP]

You’d do well in Britain then 😂

[@joyjoy6317]

Hello, thank you 🙏

[@penelopepitstoppp]

Read the Bible, don't watch TV. Fill UP with GOOD and not the indoctrination of this world. This world is headed to hell in a handbasket and if you want to be accepted by this world and it's offerings then you are not understanding the meaning of life. Jesus IS the way, the TRUTH and the LIFE. Everything else is vanity. The most important thing in this life is to please God. If that's perceived as weird then I'll stay weird! Thank you for sharing!

[@HenriettaP]

Way to bore the pants off people.

[@juliemunroe3417]

I am new to your videos - loving your content - very relevant and useful after being in covid isolation for two + years, l feel like I’m learning to be a social being all over again - lots of helpful tips and things to think about in your offering - thanks very much.x

[@Max-xl9qv]

The easy answer: consistent practice. Pick something every day, like garden gnome in front of your house, and talk about garden gnomes for like 3 minutes. In a year you'll be as fluid as a cab driver.

[@b-radbutler7379]

Late, but, Hello! Your insights were quite the delight to ponder, thank ya kindly for sharing~

[@HowCommunicationWorks]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@MsBizzyGurl]

Listen first. You'll get a sense of what the interest is. Weather, clothing trends, current books/movies, local events - how do you 'run out of conversation'?

[@bradleymiller437]

The problem with the first point is; I know many interesting things. I know a a broad range of things that many people don’t have a clue about. I’ve been told by many people over many years “how do you know so much all these different things?” My problem is recall in the moment and timing. I can say or do something and no one cares. Someone can literally say the same thing five minutes later and it blows up into a whole conversation that I’m not welcome in.

[@dennisclass]

10:41 "When I was young, I almost had a photographic memory... I recommend it to you too." Thanks for the recommendation. How do I manage to develop a photographic memory?

[@CFord-wu3in]

I learned a lot from watching this video - thank you!

[@dawnabajian]

New to your show. You are very interesting and I’m excited to listen! Thank you!

[@HowCommunicationWorks]

Welcome aboard!