How to Online Date the Victorian Age Way | * British Matrimonial Ads*

Ever wonder how people found suitable strangers to date in the Victorian Age? Well, wonder no longer! In this video, I talk about Matrimonial Advertisements: what they were, what was behind the phenomena and how society viewed them. Also, you'll learn step-by-step how to find love through matrimonial ads, just in case you're ever transported back to 19th century. And importantly, we'll delve into some intriguing marriage ad examples from both British and American newspapers from the 1800s.
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INSTAGRAM @elliedashie ➝ / elliedashie
WEBSITE ➝ elliedashwood.com
🕰Watching Guide
00:00 How to Online Date the Victorian Era Way [Intro]
00:51 What is a Matrimonial Advertisement?
03:21 Reasons to Advertise
07:12 Society's Response to Newspaper Romance
08:25 How to Guide to Placing an Ad
10:31 How to Write a Personal Ad
13:01 Eligible British Gentlemen's Ads
16:45 British Bachelorettes
19:29 American Men Looking for Love
21:45 American Ladies Seeking Romance
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📚 Books and Movies Mentioned
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Novel go.magik.ly/ml/1u43m/
1940 Movie: amzn.to/43uQwBy
1995 Miniseries (Colin Firth Version): amzn.to/42zFoSm
2005 Movie (Kiera Knightly Version): amzn.to/3qCNVqE
Audiobook read by Rosamund Pike: amzn.to/3MTE1Iy
🧐 Learn More
Cocks, H. (2013). The cost of marriage and the matrimonial agency in late Victorian Britain. Social History, 38(1), 66-88. doi.org/10.1080/03071022.2012...
The Marriage Brokers of London. (1888, September 5). Pall Mall Gazette.
The matrimonial news and special advertiser. (1869). C. G. Horton & Co.
The Matrimonial Post and Fashionable Marriage. (1888, December 8). Runcorn Examiner.
N, Q. P., & CORRESPONDENCE. (1835). Correspondence of a Lieutenant in His Majesty's Navy, in search of a wife: arising from a matrimonial advertisement in a late number of The Bristol Mirror. Second edition. [The letters, the first excepted, signed: Q.P.N.]. Bristol: Rose & Son.
PHEGLEY, J. (2013). Victorian Girls Gone Wild: Matrimonial Advertising and the Transformation of Courtship in the Popular Press. Victorian Review, 39(2), 129-146. Retrieved April 29, 2021, from www.jstor.org/stable/24497074
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#onlinedating #victorianage #matrimonial #britishnewspaper #prideandprejudice #19thcentury #1800s

[@lbh515]

my great-great-aunt friend was a poor teacher in the countryside and she put an ad in the newspaper looking for a penpal (with no intention of marriage solely to chat) and a rich guy from the capital answered just because he liked the way she wrote the ad... they ended up marrying

[@EllieDashwood]

What?! That is such an exciting story!

[@phosphenevision]

This is basically people meeting their SO on like Twitter nowadays lmao

[@HrHaakon]

​@@phosphenevision I don't think a twitter love story could be anything other than hilarious. > And then he called her four slurs in three words! > Oh my, Mr. Higgers sounds like such a dreamboat!

[@verdancyhime]

Why isn't this a period drama on Netflix yet? Like... Miss Whoeveringhaugh, who works for one of these papers and is in her mid twenties and almost an old maid. Setting people up and then meeting someone herself? I'd watch it.

[@katiaflores1085]

Yes!!! I would watch it too. There are some good romance books about this, Netflix should turn them into movies👏🏻

[@Fairysnuff91]

I want to see this!

[@Dandelionsinthesky]

​@@katiaflores1085I know it's been 2 years but any recommendations?🙏

[@cassandralyris4918]

Me, dating back in the day: "Maybe I'm asking for too much?..." Bachelor #2, *"BUY ME A CASTLE."*

[@MiljaHahto]

I think he probably found his rich bride, too. Someone who wanted the status and history.

[@JacquelineViana]

Bachelor n 3 sounds as the old sick man that would marry the poor protagonist out of revenge for his family by making her an obscenelly rich widow in literally any telenovela and I love it.

[@heatherweir8726]

Now that would make a good period era romcom.

[@kaceynm]

Someone needs to write this!

[@christopherrosas2738]

Bachelor 3 sounds like an old school sugar daddy

[@dessertsister313]

Mm

[@eshchory]

When I was 18 I was both cynical about love and practical about finances so bachelor number 3 was just what I was looking for.

[@nobody8328]

"Elderly widow of independent and generous means seeks fine young man for amusement. Should be creative and athletic, with a willing disposition."

[@elisabethn2893]

Living her best life

[@iknowright140]

She should have added “showers me with attention and affection, but always knows his place” 😂

[@Sillyalways]

I would take the old man. He takes his revenge, I take his money in the end (which is really near for him). Absolutely a win win situation

[@EllieDashwood]

😂😂😂

[@BlackIceDragonSalome]

And I think the few times he would require to get freaky would be okay. Just close your eyes and think of the money you will inherit (probably even more if you get a son!)

[@mrsnatural2368]

Also he's super upfront about what he's about, which would be very refreshing.

[@genxx2724]

Definitely for me. I’m 56 and attractive. Nothing to lose at this point. Lol.

[@Nadia1989]

I know a guy that would totally sign up for a sugar mama XDDD

[@christines2787]

In 1994, I answered a personal ad in the newspaper to prove to a friend that the guy would be a complete weirdo. She had a child. I was single, no kids, and figured it sas safer. Love at first sight between me and the weirdo. Married 27 years. Best thing i ever did.

[@mariar3767]

Happy for you two 😊

[@blatherskitenoir]

My favorite one of these I ever read (from an American newspaper in 1865) "A chance for a spinster--A young man in Aroostook Country, Maine, advertising for a wife, speaks for himself as follows: I am 18 years old, have a good set of teeth, and believe in Andy Johnson, the star spangled banner, and the 4th of July. I have taken up a State lot, cleared up 18 acres last year, and seeded 10 of it down. My buckwheat looks first rate, and the oats and potatoes are bully. I have got 9 sheep, a 2-year-old bull, and 2 heifers, besides a house and barn. I want to get married. I want to buy bread-and-butter, hoopskirts, and waterfalls for some person of the female persuasion during life. That's what's the matter with me. But I don't know how to do it." I love how, despite being 18, he mentions having all his teeth. That just cracks me up. I hope he found someone.

[@katherinek2709]

The sugar daddy one made me laugh. Some things never change

[@Daphattack]

I thought the same thing! I was like oooh a sugar daddy! 😂

[@Tina06019]

He sounds very forthright. And honestly, £10,000 a year, free and clear, is pretty generous.

[@MiljaHahto]

There's no doubt he got many letters!

[@roadrunnercrazy]

I feel sorry for the clergyman with the two little boys. I hope they got a nice stepmom.

[@EllieDashwood]

I hope so too!

[@Hugin-N-Munin]

Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. If the disposition of the parties are ever so well known to each other, or ever so similar beforehand, it does not advance their felicity in the least. They always continue to grow sufficiently unlike afterwards to have their share of vexation ..if you have nothing clever to say yourself, borrow from someone else

[@ninglight4433]

Patchwork families were something totally normal in the past. A lot more common than today, since single widowed moms and dads were uncommon. It was a question of need, not so much of morale. When household is a really hard job, meals are to be cooked from the scratch, no childcare in available, you need a second parent or you struggle a lot. Note: Also females with illegitimate children married usually after some time. Not the rich heirs, but some small paysant or worker. At least here in Austria.

[@edithvillalba8704]

Well you will know there were a lot of Job with two children!!!

[@ninglight4433]

@@edithvillalba8704 I remember me, but with the third it becomes easier, especially when you have also a full time job. So I not only experienced myself, but was told by my grandma too, and she had it from her mother. Both working mums with 4 kids each.

[@Sillyalways]

Florida woman upholding the reputation of her fellow Floridians XD

[@lorisewsstuff1607]

I thought OMG it's the ancestress of Florida Woman. 😆

[@InThisEssayIWill...]

American bachelorette#3 says she ain't messing around with those damn twenty year old boys 😆

[@EllieDashwood]

😂 One Victorian etiquette manual called men in their youth as being in their “age of detestability.” 😂

[@edithvillalba8704]

Here in Argentina we called “ the age of fool” “ la edad del bobo”!!!

[@ellewelle401]

American bachelorette nr. 3 really went there and said "fuckboys don't need to apply" haha :-)

[@rosebud99w]

I'll take the old man who just needs somebody to take of him, and then you get his money. Sounds like a win/win to me.

[@EllieDashwood]

He seems the most popular of all the gentlemen! 😂 I wonder if he got that many responses in real life.

[@josephlim6854]

Makes sense. I recently read how it wasn't uncommon for a young woman to marry an old veteran during the Great Depression. She would take care of him in his old days and once he passes away, she would receive his veteran pension. This was very helpful during the 1930s when a lot of Americans were starving.

[@erracht]

@@josephlim6854 Only like a couple of months ago, a woman died who was...get this: a widow of an American Civil War veteran!!! When she was very young, like 18, she was his caregiver, him being very old, and he married her FORMALLY out of kindness and I believe of HIS initiative, the idea being, IIRC, so she would then get his pension! The funny thing is, the fellow who wrote that ad is apparently implying to his future wife that he is aware that his death will benefit her one day!

[@jelle3248]

Heck, it's dangerous to just go meet people now. I would actually love a neutral office to meet up at...

[@EllieDashwood]

Totally! It was a brilliant idea!

[@melissamybubbles6139]

Yes! A supervised meet-up spot is just what we need.

[@jules2291]

In india we still have these matrimonial ads . A whole 'brides wanted' and 'grooms wanted' section with a btu of personal info and partner requirements . Although half of them ask for a 'slim , fair , house trained young girl' - which for a country that claims to be free and tolerant and developing and has over half the population with dark skin and big bones is awfully racist and toxic .

[@ellewelle401]

@@jules2291 Well, the racism is the reason why this whole insidious industry of skin-whitening products is booming. You have my sympathy for the sad state of affairs. Hopefully though they practice some safety precautions with their customer's data.

[@Tina06019]

@@jules2291 I thought cats were house trained, not young girls.

[@derangedmaniac3827]

Here's my matrimonial ad: Lady of modest means and quiet disposition well suited to country life looking for an old gentlemen of generous means and little words. Does not deal well with children. You understand why I am suited to Brit gent no. 3

[@elisabethn2893]

"For amusement" has the same feel as reading "for ritual purposes" in archeology lmao

[@yasminesummers827]

My parents met this way, no idea what it said but my mum put an ad in the paper and my dad responded and now, over 30 years later, they're still married and have me and my sister :)

[@JW-vg2ho]

I like how little has actually changed in the last century.

[@EllieDashwood]

Right? People, I guess, never really change. 🤔

[@jendubay3782]

This is why I love Jane Austen. I can imagine, with a little language change, all of the people in her books existing today

[@genxx2724]

I don’t feel so bad.

[@rosequill7925]

I love how many of us are down to marry the 76 year old man. I mean I want the money, he doesn't want his family to have the money. Seems like a win-win. I would also love to marry someone to help them spite their relatives, sounds like fun.

[@alexhook9151]

Normally, I wouldn't have much in common with a Victorian age elderly man, but in this case, neither of us are close to our families lol. I'd sweeten the deal by telling him I desired to hire an author to help him write his biography. Shit for that money, I'd give him an heir too. 😆

[@MiljaHahto]

Imagine how many governesses of the time would have found that appealing! Back to better lifestyle, essentially.

[@katherinespezia4609]

Man, the British ones were SO much more appealing than the American ones. I, like everyone else here, definitely enjoyed the spiteful sugar daddy, but it was also kind of nice to see the heiress who wasn't worried about money and only cared about finding someone she could enjoy spending time with. She hadn't given up on love and I think that's sweet.

[@oliverdoherty6207]

Oh my goodness yes, all the American bachelors come across as super sketchyyyy. Hope the ladies who responded to them didn't end up marrying an opportunistic scoundrel.

[@anndelise9493]

I placed ads (when internet was new, so used newspapers as well). I met my currrent partner through a people-meeting-people type site that also had local group meetings. We've been together for 19.5 years now.

[@ursulabach566]

My great grandparents met this way! She lived in Germany and he lived in Argentina (his parents were German). They wrote a few letters and she moved to Argentina lol

[@QUARTERMASTEREMI6]

Aww, that's such a sweet story! ❤️

[@Rocio.Suarez]

QUÉ?!

[@BoxStudioExecutive]

But was this before or after WW2???

[@MsMashachek]

German from Argentina, not ringing any bells?

[@LALacey]

... before WWII?

[@twebible]

I have another suggestion for American bachelor number 1's "Hallmark" movie, one that will make an awesome plot line. Here it is: he's just returned from boarding school abroad to start taking up the family business which is slavery. But after spending years in England he learned about the anti-slavery movement spearheaded by people like William Wilberforce and so he doesn't like the idea of taking over his father's plantation in Mississippi. However the only way that he could disconnect himself from that would be to inherit an aunts estate of £40,000 but her one condition is that he be married upon inheriting the money. Obviously her goal was to continue the family line and continue the family tradition of living the "southern way of life" including owning slaves as free labor on cotton plantations. Well that was her intent but American bachelor # 1 sees the £40,000 as a way of being able to relocate and start life away from the sun of slavery either in the North or back in the United Kingdom. So he puts an ad in the paper to seek a wife keeping his true intentions away from his family. While he waits for a woman to answer his ad he grows increasingly disgusted with life and the institution of slavery on his family's land which he had been shielded from while away at school. Also the women who are starting to reach out because of the ad are women who want to continue living their southern belle way of life and he has no interest in that. However one of the secretaries at the newspaper starts to pick up on bachelor # 1's disinterest in the slavery and she grows more interested as he visits the newsroom to pick up the correspondences. It began a friendship and what he suspects is verified that she is mixed race. Her father was another slave owner who had raped raped her mother and since she is a lighter skinned he put her to work in his office as free labor in the sothern proslavery newspaper which her father owns owns. As the plot thickens they develop the plan to elope because he needs to get married and she wants to leave. So they find a Quaker minister to marry them and on the marriage license it looks like bachelor # 1 has married a southern white woman - her last name and the mention of the slave owning father all hide the fact that she is mixed race. So when he presents the family with the marriage license and then gives this paperwork to the dead aunt's lawyer they give him his inheritance of 40,000 lb. However the rumor mill is starting to spread that bachelor # 1 and the secretary were becoming quite chummy a suspicion start to arise before they get to abscond from the south and the secretary's father sends out slave catchers to find his property - his daughter. The minister that married them is also connected to the underground railroad and tries to help them escape but being in Mississippi which is so far south makes it very difficult so rather than going north they head West. I'm actually really enjoying the story and if anyone wants to pick up and finish it that would be amazing! This is what I call a Victorian romance 🥰

[@athag1]

I can see the Dead Aunt tossing around in her grave…

[@pseudonym7628]

Someone please write this story down

[@lynn858]

Fantastic!

[@dottiewi661]

Wow, I would read/watch this! Such an great idea

[@rbck8826]

Why do you sometimes see so good pitches in the KZbin comments?

[@spongedev]

In my country, these newspapers and agents still exist. They also give other services like meeting points. Photography Food and decorations for the marriage is also done. Very interesting. But also social circle and networking is another current trend. Marriages are made in India

[@elizabethmadonna370]

So I fell in love with your channel! This was amazingly funny. Also my Dad met my step-Mom through an ad. It worked really well for them! Both lost their spouses and were looking to start dating but were tired of well-meaning blind dates. My Dad was actually a bit furious with the friends of one of his blind-dates. His last blind date had unexpectedly lost her spouse to an accident and was NOT ready to move on. (My Dad in dramatic American-Italian: "What's the matter with them? The lady needs ice cream! Not a new man!" )The next day, my Dad flipped open a paper to see about placing an ad and happened to see my step-mom's ad while checking the page for information. The rest is history! Hopefully the ladies and men of Victorian times had as good luck as him. I mean, crazier things have happened? I'm personally rooting for the older guy. Get you a savvy lady who is ready to deal with the fall out!

[@susantescione8007]

I can still remember that there was a section of "Personal Ads" in the local newspaper back in the 1950s and 60s. "Successful man in his thirties looking for an attractive woman in the same age group. Must like dogs and be able to cook. Should enjoy outdoor activities such as fishing, swimming, and boating." Etc., etc... And believe it or not there were several columns of ads from both men and women.

[@EtzEchad]

"Do you like Pena Coladas?" My sister and her girlfriend used to get a big chuckle out of reading personal ads back in the 1980s. Most of them didn't seem to be very serious when they read them. But they were very amusing. I would bet that there are still personal ads out there. Perhaps on the Internets now though.

[@megancrager4397]

Ugh reminds me of video tape dating ads 🤣 Sooo cheesy

[@elizzadeath]

I hope British bachelor no. 2 got his castle

[@EllieDashwood]

Hopefully! 🏰

[@melissamybubbles6139]

Were any ladies posting requests for castles? I feel like there should have been a castle/mansion investment and renovation themed romance magazine.

[@ruthiesheppard729]

My teen daughter and I had fun watching this video. It's actually scary to think that there were girls her age placing these ads. While it is very entertaining, I would be afraid for her to answer the letters of these strange men. I had no idea this was a thing in the Victorian era.

[@whitemakesright2177]

Things are much, much worse these days, with the internet, and with girls younger than her.

[@LisaOuwersloot]

Marriage is, and was, not only a union of two people, but also a business agreement, between said people, and their families. Falling in love is quite easy, marriage is working together toward a common goal and continuing to do so, even when things get rough. A marriage purely based on pink clouds won’t always work, just as one purely on financial concerns won’t always succeed. Love and common sense together sound like a good base for a marriage.

[@mildlycornfield]

I promise that British bachelorette no. 3 isn't me. We do have the same name though 😂 I think I would subscribe to these papers just to be nosy lol

[@EllieDashwood]

😂 Same, nosy paper reading all the way

[@anapaulafarabello5352]

My pick: Second english bachelor (I like his love for History) for matrimony and the last american bachelor for a good time. 😅 Also Cora seems great 😂

[@EllieDashwood]

She does. 😂 And a shared love of history is an essential aspect of romance 👍🏻

[@anapaulafarabello5352]

@@EllieDashwood Indeed, the talks we could have 😍

[@ellewelle401]

He does actually sound pretty entertaining. So what if he is a bit full of himself, never met a man who wasn't, but at least we would share a hobby. And, to be fair, he did say, "I would like to buy a castle, but well, if it doesn't happen, it's not the end of the world." Shows me that he is at least willing to compromise.

[@shibolinemress8913]

I once saw an ad, reprinted in a book, that read: "Farmer looking for industrious wife with combine harvester. Preferred combine harvester John Deere." Well, his priorities were clear... 😂

[@mariar3767]

😂😂

[@erracht]

This gave me a good laugh. Did you notice how much more plain-spoken the American ads were? They actually sounded more like modern online dating ads than the British ones did. (I recall reading some of these on a website, where they were quoting ads placed by Americans and/or Canadians of very humble means; some of these had poor spelling and one asked for something like a lady who would be capable of mending his trousers!) Yes, I think I might have used these, if I didn't have a good enough social circle. The 19-year-old looking for someone to get her out from under her "friends'" control is an interesting one - yes, at that time, the age of majority was 21 (it was reduced to 18 in the UK on 1 January 1970). The use of the word "friends" is interesting here. I have gathered from the context of various quotes that in times past, "friends" meant in some contexts your parents or other close relations. For example in my favorite novel, the original Alice's Adventures in Wonderland (which had as one of its aims to avert and even lampoon the heavily didactic style of most contemporary children's literature), Alice is cautious before drinking from a bottle because she "had read several nice little stories about children who had got burnt (...) all because they would not remember the simple rules that their friends had taught them: such as, that a red-hot poker will burn you if you hold it too long..." I look forward to seeing your video on women's finances in the 1800s. Keywords: dowries; pin money; settlements; the Married Women's Property Acts.

[@BettyBonkers]

I must know if the heiress of £20,000 found love.

[@EllieDashwood]

I want to know too! They needed to issue updates on their lives. That probably would have sold well too. 😂

[@jessicawidmeier2862]

I think we need to hook up the Christian Pastor and the Christian Lady, they sound made for each other. I don't care for any of the Men but if I had to choose, I'd take the Gentleman who wanted a castle.

[@EllieDashwood]

They'd be perfect together! And castles are always perk. 🏰

[@megancrager4397]

Are they though? So much work to take care of them 😓

[@whitneyvanwaters7621]

I whole heartedly have to agree with Megan. I've been reading Fortune's Children about the Vanderbilt family and this was during the time when those from British Nobility were marrying American women who had money to keep those castles going (like Downton Abbey era or so). They didn't have indoor plumbing or heating. For most of Americans who grew up with all those comforts by that point, to bring those buildings up to standard was a total overhaul. I also remember reading about how some of those castles bankrupted their owners just trying to kept a small percentage of them functioning . So if you DO ever get that kind of money...invest wisely:)

[@NicoleDSK]

I'd marry the spiteful old guy, and then when he died I'd marry that guy and help him get his castle!!!

[@theInsaneRodent]

I'd go for British bachelorette #3. I consider myself to be quite smart, and I would appreciate someone who is into that. Elizabeth Bennet is my type and #3 seemed the closest. (Wait, actually no, I just looked at it again, they are not very similar, oops! Elizabeth is not an heiress, got no formal education, is described as short, and would not describe herself as having many accomplishments) I might also be reading #3's ad incorrectly, as Ellie obviously understands Victorian writing better than I do, and Ellie did not say that #3 was valuing intelligence over wealth. Maybe Ellie felt that was obvious? So, hey uh, any girls out there interested in the second son of a well-to-do family who is a soon-to-be landowner? (A condo in one of the most expensive real estate markets counts as land, right?) I am also a good dancer (primarily experienced in Latin partner dances, though I also enjoyed Viennese Waltz when I did that) and I am gainfully employed in the technology sector. 29 year old seeking... (uh, 29/2 + 7 = 21.5) You better be at least 22 or it would be weird. Hey, anyone watching these videos would at least be interested in some of the same things I am, so I am going to claim that this is at least as reasonable as some of the marriage ads in the video.

[@hedwighedgehog4364]

My personal favorite is from the horrible murderer Belle Gunness: "Personal - comely widow who owns a large farm ... desires to make the acquaintance of a gentleman equally well provided, with view of joining fortunes...Triflers need not apply"

[@mouseketeery]

Bit difficult for respectable folk when it isn't the done thing to introduce yourself to someone, male or female, in any situation. You'd have to ask a mutual acquaintance to introduce you. I think it wasn't just priggishness behind it, it was a social convention that allowed you to keep people at bay, preserve a bit of personal space and privacy when so much of people's lives were lived very publicly. You can understand how the proliferation of the press got used in this way.

[@cathipalmer8217]

I'm pretty sure American bachelorette #4 is more into customers than a husband.

[@EllieDashwood]

😂 I could definitely see that. 😂

[@whitemakesright2177]

The Victorian equivalent of bot accounts on dating sites shilling their webcams/Only Fans.

[@kathyp1563]

I had no idea! If I were to guess when advertisements were first placed for romance, I would had guessed 1970s. I had no idea it was for about a century before that!

[@alexwright4930]

Think it goes back way further than that. And then you had matchmakers in many cultures too.

[@MissRiny]

We still have adds like this in some newspapers in Germany. They are not necessarily for immediate marriage and a big portion of them are elderly widows and widowers looking for a companion. They are really entertaining too read.

[@mercycunningham2813]

Oh yes. My moms neighbour did one mere weeks after his wife of several decades died. The gosipp, the drama and still no new wife in sight.

[@totallycrazystudios1801]

This reminds me of Sarah Plain and Tall. I love that book.

[@sharihorting4560]

Sarah, Plain and Tall is a favorite of mine also, romance with a happy ending. However Zandy's Bride (movie) with Gene Hackman and Liv Ullman is most likely and sadly, more realistic.

[@totallycrazystudios1801]

@@sharihorting4560 Oh? Interesting sounding movie. Btw did you know their was another book?

[@floraposteschild4184]

@@sharihorting4560 Or The Piano. It was pretty hit and miss.

[@katiewright3309]

The title Sarah, Plain and Tall sounds so familiar. I am trying to remember if I read it. I think maybe in elementary school? Was there two kids? I think she was their stepmom but they weren't keen in a new mom but the dad needed someone to help raise them? Is that what it was? Is that the story I am thinking of?

[@totallycrazystudios1801]

@@katiewright3309 Yep :)

[@iknowright140]

Omg please make more of these videos!! I love this imaginary dating game!! I love the honesty mixed with polite language. We need to bring this back!! It’s sad they r all now dead, but I like to think that they would be amused to know that people 150 years later and reading and wanting to reply to their ads. I’m all in for helping gentleman number 3 stick it to his family who are just waiting to get his money when he dies, really want to know what happened! Did he find a wife?! What happened after his death?!

[@grogery1570]

I remember the '90's when there were still personal ad's in newspapers. They were tied to the 900 phone numbers which is where they made their money. Then they would have articles explaining to women how to identify dead beat men, then articles for men on how to avoid looking like a dead beat in their ad's! Oh those were fun times!

[@gryffindorgeorgi]

I really enjoyed this video! As a person who met their spouse online over 22 years ago I feel like these folks would have been my kindred spirits!

[@EllieDashwood]

That’s so cool! That was back in the super young days of the internet it feels like.

[@annec8127]

Love your hair and makeup! Accentuates the "ready for a date" theme! Also love the shifting cats in the background. ❤️

[@EllieDashwood]

Aw, thank you! And the cats 🐈 must have some special sense that I’m filming a video and want to get in on it. 😂

[@anna-karins1176]

@@EllieDashwood Yes Cats seems to love KZbin !! In many videos on different subject i have seen lately there are cats in the background or jumping up in the knee of the person who makes the video !! ;)

[@etherealtb6021]

I liked Bachelor #2, but I'm too old & can't get him his castle back! :( I feel like you should've included The Dating Game's music, but you're too young for that! 🤣

[@EllieDashwood]

My mom said the same thing about the music! But there’s all these copyright rules about music on KZbin that made it impossible. 😭

[@etherealtb6021]

@@EllieDashwood oh, lol! That's funny, as it can't be in huge demand!

[@averagewoman6962]

I suppose that placing an ad like this would be a lot safer than just meeting up with some bloke in a bar. As for the purpose - remember not only could ‘respectable’ women not go to bars in those times but they couldn’t even be met at work, since most ladies usually didn’t work in offices. So the advertising route would have been of significant use,

[@josephlim6854]

Really loved this video! I didn't even know they had personal ads in the Victorian era! Yes I'd be interested in hearing more about female finances in 19th century. I recall from watching Dickensian several years ago that once an heiress marries a gentleman, all the money is transferred to the gentleman (Compeyson & Miss Havisham as an example)?

[@prairieN]

No wonder older French women were rumoured to prefer affairs with younger men over marry them

[@whitemakesright2177]

In the UK before 1870 (the passing of the Married Women's Property Act), a married couple were legally treated as one person, with the husband acting as the head, and therefore representing both he and his wife in all their affairs. The concept is called "couverture," if you want to look it up. In the US, some states began dismantling couverture by passing similar acts starting in the 1820s.

[@Melissa-wx4lu]

I met my husband online, so I would have totally answered one of these ads. My man and I are coming up to 17 years together. met him when I was 18. I quite liked BritishGentleman #1 but Victorian Florida Man sounds quite interesting too.

[@alexwright4930]

17 years? Congrats. I think there was still a bit of stigma about online dating then, which seems to have vanished now.

[@werebuffalo]

Kitty! And bonus kitty! I love it when your cats join you for videos. ... also, awesome video, lol.

[@genxx2724]

You are a lovely, ladylike, delightful girl, and this was a delightful video. It’s lovely to see someone interested in this literature and the times and customs. Up until now, I’ve only shared this pleasure with my schoolteacher aunt who is now in her seventies. I’m still single. I think I would have been better suited to another era.

[@EllieDashwood]

Aw, you’re too sweet and your schoolteacher aunt sounds awesome! It’s such an interesting era, I wonder what living back then would have really been like. 🤔

[@genxx2724]

@@EllieDashwood When I stayed at my aunt’s, she got out her little portable manual typewriter and we wrote a spoof on Nancy Drew. Rather than being perfect like Nancy, whose friend Bess was too plump and George too unladylike, our main character was obese and wore Big Bertha pantyhose that split at crucial moments when she was out chasing after criminals. 😆

[@genxx2724]

@@EllieDashwood I think it was smelly. 🙄

[@lisagordon1090]

I’m not sure if anyone has mentioned this yet, but I keep thinking about a class book in like 4th grade called “Sarah, Plain and Tall” and that title was from her description of herself in reply to a matrimonial add placed by a widower with kids. (In the TV movie for it she was played by Glenn Close)

[@Yubsie]

Well apparently the old fellow is the only one who'll be interested in my GASP over thirty five years old self

[@EllieDashwood]

I know!!! They all want such young wives. It’s dumb.

[@Yubsie]

@@EllieDashwood Even the one in his fifties! Be age appropriate good sir

[@ruthiesheppard729]

I know! I imagine not many of them are asking for a woman or widow under 40. That makes my eyes roll when older men still want a girl in her 20s.

[@chizzieshark]

It probably has to do with childbearing. Sounds like these fellows don't have children (aka sons) and need one ASAP!

[@fruzsimih7214]

Fun fact: Pope Benedict XVI's parents met through a marriage ad.

[@EllieDashwood]

Wow! That's so fascinating!

[@fruzsimih7214]

@@EllieDashwood That was in the 1920s though, through a local Catholic paper in their native Bavaria.

[@mlola74]

We need that Mississippi Hallmark movie to be done

[@prettypic444]

I remember reading this was very common on the America frontier. the combination of isolation and the heavy workload out west went along well with the desire for economic advancement/land, adventure, and an escape from crowded cities back east. like most of these ads, whether they were happy or not probably depended on the couple

[@wynnewhitten-holmes5090]

Mrs Bennet: Did someone say teN THOUSAND A YEAR??!

[@iluvmusicals21]

I think you can see that Britain it's definitely more of a class system art this point, and American is more of a free for all. ☺️

[@samuelmillerick4550]

Interesting. One really doesn't think of this sort of stuff in the Victorian age.

[@EllieDashwood]

I know! Its interesting the things the Victorians got up to that one wouldn’t expect.

[@barbarabaker1457]

I like to think there are no new concepts just ones we didn't notice had been done before. Just based on all the history I've ever read. It kind of reminds me of when somebody "discovers" land even though there are people already there. Only in this case finding it in history like a cultural Sherlock Holmes can teach us what the consequences of the societal choices were.

[@jackjohnhameld6401]

As George Burns used to sing, *I'm so glad I'm not young any more.* Ellie Dashwood has to be a girl in a lost Jane Austen story. Great name.

[@captainjaneway80]

I can help gentleman #2 get his castle.

[@EllieDashwood]

🏰 Aw, he’ll be so happy! 😂😂😂

[@belakovacs708]

It would be interesting to ask people to guess the time period of the ads. I would probably have said 1950s.

[@EllieDashwood]

It’s surprising how relatively modern the Victorians really were in many things!

[@mcrxoxoxo]

This was such a fun video, I am binging your channel!

[@civivva4501]

I really appreciate the amount of research you did for this video. This would be a great plot in a period drama.

[@HattieMcDanielonaMoon]

This was so interesting and informative!

[@EllieDashwood]

Yay! I’m glad you liked it!

[@teresapaliwoda]

Would it be wrong for me to have my students compare these ads with current ads? I'm tired of reading their choice of essays! Thanks for your information! Such great videos.

[@erickbarraza3580]

Can we take a second to speak about her hair and make up? Like it’s so pretty ❤️

[@elizabethmotta7877]

I need a second part!!

[@redalcock4704]

Fascinating. I never knew that these adds were so common back then. Really interesting video.

[@mercycunningham2813]

Well I take the old brit, of course! Why? He certainly doesn't sound like he is after the perfect wife nor after his future wifes money. He has his act together. He sounds a bit grumpy but I bet we could have fun with driving his estranged familiy nuts together!

[@annikalapudas9742]

Blue eyeshadow looks so pretty on you! :)

[@jennifernielsen599]

Love this video!

[@WhitneyOpfar]

I can remember growing up and reading the classified ads in the newspaper of people looking for significant others.

[@vivianarojas40]

I love the differences between the American and British ads. The Americans in general seemed to have less shame and a bigger sense of humor. And some of them were just looking for dates, not marriages!

[@kf10126]

That was fun! 😁

[@SirenaWomanWarrior]

How has this not been used as material for a regency era mini series ? 😭

[@sassygrammy1258]

I recently happened upon your videos, and want you to know that I am enjoying your presentations.

[@gwillis01]

Thank you for a pleasant video

[@Elemiriel]

The widower clergy with 2 young boys made me feel so sad!! He'd probably be the most likely candidate for me lol

[@petersburg2]

This was such an interesting video! Is there an online resource for reading more of these Matrimonial Advertisements?

[@KierTheScrivener]

I love this!

[@christrites4251]

As a retired copper, I’d say Leona is a working girl…if you know what I mean.

[@jackdelong8957]

I know this video came out 2 years ago but WOW you look amazing! So pretty!

[@kaylajames9334]

Is it bad that I kept laughing throughout the entire video and since I am a writer, I want to make a series of novels or at least a series of Novelas about these ads?, I think I would be more suited to English bachelor number one. He seems like a nice man. Sure he’s 51 and I am 28, but…

[@EllieDashwood]

I'm sure the age gap wouldn't stop him! 😂😂😂 That's so cool about you being a writer!

[@AngelaBonanza]

Unrelated but I love your look in this video! So cute and fun :)

[@eshchory]

Great video and I love your look.

[@jennifermckeithen1498]

The guy with a castle all the way!! I have the funds, he's got the name = Miss Bingley eat your heart out!!

[@brunasouza-ex1md]

This is a perfect plot for a book!!

[@barbarabaker1457]

Not sure I'd pick any of them but bachelor number four was the closest. I related the hardest to the words "true man" and "intellect" over "money."

[@duffypratt]

And not one mention of pina colodas.

[@EllieDashwood]

I kept thinking about that while making this video! 😂

[@CTXSLPR]

All I could think of the while episode was "Sarah, Plain and Tall". The wife will take English bachelor #3 with his little boys. I might write to English bachelorette #1 but mostly out of being the best on the list vs. a genuine interest in her.

[@k.l.8804]

Wow! I had no idea about this! 😄 I wonder, are we online dating for the same or similar reasons these days? I would go for either British bachelor no 1 or 4. I'm 41 but very youthful looking (most people think I'm in my 20ies) so number four might perhaps forgive my actual age? 😅 I might not be able to get pregnant at my age, so being adoptive mother to two boys would be lovely.. 💗 But then again, number one of 51 years with quiet country life sounds very nice too. And I was in contact with a man of 52 this past summer, so the age difference is no issue. He might also forgive me being older than he wishes to since I have youthful looks? But if he wants an heir he might dissaprove because I might be too old for that? But I do dream about living in the country, would love that... 💗 So number one or four, if they will have an old young looking lady with plenty of accomplishments, well educated and interested in a happy domestic life 😅

[@user-xh4os4sx1v]

Did you ever check out Francis Hutcheson. The riddle voiced at Emma's picnic where the answer was MA, seems to derive from Hutcheson's algorithm where M and A are the symbols of moral perfection. Your new look. A great experiment, totally blingless, daring, a winner.

[@carinetang776]

19:08 "Money secondary to intelligence" means she values the intelligence of the responding gentleman more than his financial status (which is not surprising given that she is already rich - "an heiress").

[@g2682]

In India, newspaper still run this matrimonial page, and some adverts are very funny

[@ellewelle401]

Honestly, the old man sounds like the ideal spouse for Becky Sharp (Vanity fair). She is pretty and entertaining enough that he would die happy and she would get her financial independence, and best of all, no misunderstanding about what their 'transaction' was about, unlike what the clusterfuck her marriage with Rawdon ended in.

[@Therika7]

“Money secondary to intelligence.”

[@Kelly-zv6ui]

Where are all the fanfictions with this trope? I love it