How To Overcome Loneliness: Living Alone In The Wilderness

[@demcduff]

Corey, please don't underestimate how much this community cares for you! Many of us live vicariously through you. I'm very proud of what you've done with your life! You will get all you desire - I know it!!! Sending you love and hugs!!!

[@Thecolonel795]

I’m an advocate of solo hiking. When asked my response is always alone does not mean lonely. It the only way to truly hike your own hike. Your pace, your schedule, your thoughts.

[@SecondChanceHiker]

This was filmed in Tombstone Yukon, Canada just outside the Arctic. I was not sure if this video was just for me or I should upload it. I decided it upload it in hopes it helps someone! ❤️

[@SimplyLesa]

Thank you. I think I have been kind of doing a similar thing this past year or so while building in AZ.

[@diamonddaveadventures4377]

You are a Rockstar! You are loved around the world! Keep on going!

[@luannedimaggio7025]

You lift up my soul. I am not lonely, just enjoy hearing from you. You should try biking and traveling this way. You would be awesome.

[@dreamweaver2152]

Hey! I came across your video and just wanted to say that I appreciated every word from you. Sounds like you have had your share of loneliness yourself. I love how you found a way to turn your life from glass 3/4 empty to a full glass! Also congratulations in your goal to lose weight! Look very happy and healthy!

[@susangille7255]

I can truthfully say I have rarely been lonely in my life but the realization of why came to me when I was older. Even when I am alone I am not lonely and that is because I am with one of my favorite people... Me. And like you said it's not selfish, it's simply self-awareness. Bless you, Corey.

[@treebeardtheent2200]

Your words remind a Tolkien fan of Gandalf, who sometimes said similar things. I hope that when you do have companionship that it is more of the unquenchable Brandybuck variety rather than the foolish Took variety.

[@robocrip1]

Thank you for sharing ❤

[@hikewithmike4673]

I have always taken the position that just because you are alone does not mean you are lonely...the Tao of Pooh and other great works from philosophers like Henry David Thoreau,,,so I revel in my loneliness when I am in the wilderness it is ok...and being alone in the "civilized" world and in nature is a completely different thing...being alone in the wilderness is not as lonely as being alone in in a city..but that is just my opinion

[@jmcmurrah]

I agree 100%!

[@treebeardtheent2200]

Hiker Mike have you read Jon Krakaur's book about Chris McCandless and if so, what is your opinion about him? I emphasize book for good reason.

[@janetallison363]

I totally agree!

[@TheASMRlogs]

Hubby and I have the same attachment style- we are both super needy. We thank each other for loving and choosing to stay, we are best friends, and it took ALL the conversations to get there! But it’s BLISS when you do!

[@janetallison363]

Cory your next life adventure should be becoming a counselor, life coach or physcologist even. But for now, keep on living your dream and sharing what you are learning along the way.

[@theravenloons5945]

I kinda needed this today. It's been a hard week with the brain. Things need to change.... I need cake, 😉 the icing will follow. Thanks 🙏 - And retirement is a bad investment for living. I did discover that and moved into an RV full-time a year ago. Wish I had done it years ago.

[@SecondChanceHiker]

Thank you! I am glad I uploaded it now. I seriously have been making videos just for me lol. Yeah I use to have the mindset I will just wait and things will happen. I ate pickles so cake sounds pretty epic right now lol. Have a beautiful night!

[@tanyaweller309]

I like the conclusion that there is a second chance at life, a second outlook on life, and a second look at how I contribute to my relationships. Great thoughts shared, Cory. Thank you.

[@SecondChanceHiker]

❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@mcwalker949]

Love your journey . Safe travels to you. ❤️

[@cmr12121]

I. Love. This. Driving home from work listening to this was like a therapy session for me. Thank you so much and please…make more. ❤️

[@garypeterson3628]

This was a great video Cory with true and inspiring words. Colin Fletcher (The Complete Walker and The Man Who Walked Through Time) once said "I am never less alone than when I am by myself" Clearly you have a loyal following, who embrace your words and are lifted by them. You are in some incredible and awe inspiring wilderness. How about showing some of that. Nothing will boost your endorphins like gazing over a beautiful vista.

[@CJoy076]

Thanks Corey, love your insights.

[@shorty7764]

Really glad to hear you say what you said. I have been concerned that you were not really working on yourself . Seemed like you thought the weight loss would magically make life better or a relationship or an adventure. Nice to know you are really working on yourself. Happy for you.

[@mpspuij]

I want to be a pizza engineer . I already succeeded with the engineer part but as biomedical engineer because I want a satisfying and helpfull job not big money. Healthcare is not big money. I can see myself in you Corey, I struggle wit the same issues although I am 2 decades older. Life is wonderfull.

[@treebeardtheent2200]

One of my fanciful dreams is to oversee a combination doughnut/Pizza shop. Those that do one or the other tend to not be open enough hours for one thing. Anyway, the pizza part would specialize in...(drum roll)...chicken fried pizza crust! 😋. Sort of a Detroit style crust (semi-thick) deep fried so it's all around crunchy yummy, then topped with pizza toppings and finished with a quick broil. My favorite pizza btw is chicken and crispy bacon with heaps of cheese.

[@treebeardtheent2200]

btw Martin are you in the West meaning not to far to drive to a PCT trailhead? Yes 2C is unique, but he's far from alone when it comes to taking on the hiker challenge despite physical limitations. If you can walk, then you can probably hike. Obstacles are meant to be overcome. I have mine too. Being born in the summer of love means that age is only one of the newer obstacles and not the biggest one. If you are my age, give or take, then it's likely true that you will never be in a better state to Start. After starting, you will get tougher, not unlike Corey. If you go out humble, but with a willingness to carry yourself (and your own water), you will almost surely get help along the way. Ironically, the best excuses tend to be things like major injuries or giardia -- excuses that hikers reluctantly make when they are forcing themselves to recover, but they really want to be back out on trail ASAP.

[@mpspuij]

@@treebeardtheent2200 Lately I took a break on walking but on work days I generally walk between 9 and 20 km. When I go camping once a month I walk much. I bike and kayak too. I do live in the South-West .... of the Netherlands ;-)

[@treebeardtheent2200]

@@mpspuij I have lived in more than a few places, but mostly in the US Pacific time zone. I am the youngest of several siblings by a large margin. I didn't realize it until half my life was adulthood, but I was born a Dutch Uncle (nephew's literally older than me). You might detect a bit of the personality type in my comments and being there yourself, maybe you would be more likely than many to understand. My mom's name was VanDusen.

[@danfischer8039]

Thank you for the good conversation on loneliness 😊

[@OlgaAlyce]

Great video👍🏼 and at a beautiful location. Thanks. Great ideas. I need to here this. It’s easy to sit on the couch and let life pass by, especially because of all are electronics we have now & with less physically getting together. Having issues with depression and anxiety don’t help matters as well.

[@treebeardtheent2200]

I would be lying if I said I never had depression, but I cannot recall ever having a day of depression while doing a long hike. (I measure long in days, not miles btw). I have experienced, cold, pain, cramps, fatigue, spasms, itchiness, hunger, cravings (hot foods/fresh foods), and tiredness to the bone. I have had my worst nights of little sleep...and my best nights of deep sleep under a blanket of stars.

[@ronnijacobs-mitchell9083]

Thank you. ❤️

[@janetelizabeth1291]

Thank you for sharing! You words helped and inspired.

[@MM-eg8gm]

Thank you so much for sharing this!

[@Mtnsunshine]

Thank you for posting this video, Cory.💕. There are many excellent points I am taking away from it. You are such a kind soul to share your story of growth and self discovery. We all are on our own, similar journey but learning from another wonderful, insightful and brave human like yourself, tells us we are never truly alone. We are all part of this human experience. And what a beautiful backdrop! 🏔. I imagine the night stars are pretty spectacular in that north sky. I am so, so happy for you that you are seeing parts of the world most of us only dream of seeing. And the fact that you are sharing both the scenery and your personal journey through it all is so generous and kind of you. Thank You. 🙏🏼. Safe travels to your next destination. Blessings to you always. 🌹

[@jmcmurrah]

Great video, Cory!

[@gaylewalker4239]

Thank you for sharing. Great info.

[@bigfoot280p]

beautiful message

[@kcmckillip8115]

I think I have a disorganized attachment style, but I'm on a long figurative thru hike up secure relationship mountain. Not an easy climb, but possible with the help of God, and kind hearted people like you. Thank you!

[@spiketv549]

You've hit the nail on the head for me, with this. For some reason, feeling really isolated again this week. I've been doing pretty well, but some struggling this week. Have just started listening but already want to thank you! When your cup is feeling low, imagine me pouring into it. Wanted to add -- I think I've had problems being attracted to men that are Dismissive-Avoidant. I think both my husbands were (2nd was maybe Fearful-Avoidant), and even guys I've tried to be friends with. I'm really fed up with it. Actually have been realizing how nice it is to be single again, and not even wanting a partner, just reliable friends. The way my marriage ended really sucker-punched me and it's taken awhile. I still have to be careful. There are plenty of people out there that want to hurt and don't even know it.

[@GloryToTheLamb33]

Dude you have lost so much weight! I'm proud of you

[@kathybaker958]

What the heck? Another facet of Cory! I know that close friends/family have a short attention span. They have their own lives. Nature is the way to get back on the rails. I've never had anyone who shared the passion about being out there and experiencing that. Happy times for me when I did it by myself. Great video.

[@treebeardtheent2200]

Lots of genuine stuff packed in a few words Kathy. Good on you. While I'm ok hiking my own hike, I do hope to encounter others who share some common essential values. (idk if the adventurous spirit really is essential, but it pretty much is for me). Got a trail name?

[@kattyswanson872]

Mr Secondchancehiker, this is such a great lasson to learn no matter the age. I thought I did know myself by now but listening to this... naaah. Hand on heart! I have always disliked being alone and single so I grew a big cirkle around me with Friends and I DO recognise this ”give and help as many possible”. It eate my energy..... My cup was so empty. Better get that changed and start to Live!! 🤗 Thank You for sharing and opening up and here, a biiiig Cyberhug Caitlin 🤗🥰🤩👏

[@treebeardtheent2200]

I made a few key changes in my life when I realized that I was doing most all of the giving and few of those doing the receiving ever gave a thing. Yes, some of us are geared to always give more than we get, but there comes a time to just cut off those who only drain you. And don't ever criticism yourself for taking that needful step. It's a necessary step for you to have the social mobility to encounter others who not only need you more than the ones you drop, but need less from you while they give back some in return. A little goes a long way when it goes to a person with gratitude. Ungrateful people are like bottoolmless pits; everything you have to give will never be enough.

[@hascoffeeandtravels4226]

Great audible book to go along with everything you said here is Oprah's new one. "What happened to you". Oprah is the classic example you can do anything when you have friends as therapists (Gayle).

[@dianal.1279]

I'm happy you're feeling good and I hope it lasts forever. I'm a person who's very happy when alone. More so than in company. Happy and confident in general, with bad moments here and there, but still the happiest person I know. I disagree with a few things you said. That doesn't mean I'm not happy for you! The thing about making excuses, or money not bringing happiness... I strongly disagree with this. Before you've got where you are now, you needed money for a therapist, for travelling, for gear, for a car, a kayak, plus a passport/citizenship allowing you to travel, someone who can take care of your loved ones while you're away, etc, etc. It is much easier to feel happy in a beautiful place, enjoying life and the great outdoors. Many don't have the support network, the money, the right passport to open doors, the health, etc. So, I don't agree that is about making excuses, Cory. Many people out there have problems we cannot begin to understand, you and I. Imagine a single mother of 5 who doesn't have a good job, can't make ends meet, knows her children are being approached by bad company... lives in a poor place raged by violence... Imagine someone who's a caregiver full time to elderly, sick relatives. Imagine women in countries where they have 0 freedom. Imagine parents who just lost a child. Imagine people who don't have mobility and no support network. Many people out there have big problems. They aren't making excuses. And money could surely mean happiness to many.

[@SecondChanceHiker]

You brought up great points. We need to sit down over a meal and Discuss this more one day. I honestly don’t know where I would be if I didn’t have access to mental health services. Some areas I am truly blessed. I think when I said those things I was really talking to myself. The happiest moment in a relationship was when I was dirt poor. living in the ghetto, delivering pizza. I would come home and give all my money to my wife and let her decide where it should go. When I had a beautiful home, a nice car, a pool I thought making great money and having very nice things would make me happy. It was honestly the worse time in my life. My cup of love was empty. My best moments in life have nothing to do with money. I will definitely give it more thought and you did get me to think. So thank you for your perspective.

[@HunterS2013]

Great words my dude!

[@Gonethinkin]

I just took the quiz and am a secure attachment style. It was a pretty interesting quiz. Thanks for this message as you continue to be an inspiration

[@dal8963]

We care about you...but KZbin has highs and lows and doesn't make you but it is our connection to you so keep us posted and in your life as we do care and love u!

[@jayaldridge4444]

staying mentally healthy is a hard thing stay well cory.

[@TRUEiMPROrecords]

Good talk.

[@baijokull]

I love the isolation. I wonder if that's something someone with a different mindset could learn to love it or if it's just a fixed, built in thing. I wonder if I could learn to enjoy going to a family gathering or something where I have to interact with different people for hours. I can only do that for an hour or two without being miserable but I can be alone for as long as I want.

[@treebeardtheent2200]

I cannot say that isolation was ever the chief sense in my experiences alone. I'm reading The Lord of The Rings (again) and I think how Gandalf was ever wandering, but was he ever isolated? Maybe when he was trapped atop Orthanc, and I've never been quite that trapped. I was delayed once in sub-freezing temperatures at fairly high altitude for about 10 days once (a trip planned for 4 days that lasted 13 in all), but I was too cold maybe and had too much to do* to think about isolation. I might not have come out well had I not kept focus, and tbh I briefly thought about other people's response to my delay (stupid mistake in hindsight) and I literally stumbled on ice when that moment happened. * Doing what needed doing to convert snow/ice to essential water and to simultaneously dodge hypothermia, and perform difficult scrambling over rock and ice --- these took all my focus. Isolation might be the description of any onlooker who could have seen me if that were possible, but I don't recall ever having that sense myself.

[@mikejordan9220]

Thank you. You are doing great! Professional help is a good thing We could all use a little help.

[@treebeardtheent2200]

Btw, that natural skin conditioner you're using is working great 🌄

[@joeomundson]

Thanks for the video. I've been thinking about this stuff a lot lately... good timing! I've had the same kind of anxious attachment style as you, at least in romantic relationships. I recently got a workbook called "Leaving Loneliness" that helps walk you through all of that attachment style stuff and I'm hoping to become more secure as well. I got divorced 8 years ago, then quit my career 7 years ago to hike the PCT, been living in vehicles ever since, and like you're saying I'm glad I didn't wait until retirement to do that stuff. But I've been feeling like it's really lonely living alone in a bus, and I'm always hoping to find a partner. I haven't found a deep relationship in all these 7 years. But I'm realizing maybe it's not the lifestyle itself making me lonely... maybe it's my attachment style sabotaging the nice connections I do find. Or maybe it's just luck, IDK. Anyway I'm glad your cup of love has been full!

[@treebeardtheent2200]

Internet and especially social media are not true cures for loneliness. At best they are counterfeits which seem to work, but they are long term detriments to real social togetherness. What a man needs to balance out his alone time is that kind of companionship beside the fire. Sometimes with other men and of course time with a special lady. Sometimes that fire is primitive in the woods and sometimes it's in the family home.

[@theimperialsage]

❤️❤️❤️

[@cathytarr1560]

Do you still have merchandise available? Is there a link?

[@SecondChanceHiker]

Hello Cathy ❤️ The link is here and should see some products on KZbin if working correctly 🤗 my-store-b4ef7d.creator-spring.com

[@TheRealJaded]

I embrace my loneliness

[@TeddyBearFarmer]

Good Video it’s so true

[@Presshandstandgirl]

The worst loneliness is when there are people around you having fun and you’re not invited. I found that’s the worst loneliness and ive been alone in the mountains for days. So, if you see someone alone and you are having fun with your friends? Invite them, they are interesting, and could be your next best friend.

[@treebeardtheent2200]

Only once that I was very aware of was I part of a local 'in' crowd. It was kind of a nice feeling and it came on unexpected, however, it wasn't actually better than hiking my own hike in life which has been my norm. I remember when I first met 2C. The special part of that memory was how I saw so few people treated him "special." (Really I only saw one person do so who wasn't a hiker.) To most of us, 2C was just another hiker doing his thing with lots of other hikers around doing our own things. We were together, but not together. Part of the club, but not needful of the club so to speak. Now since I was doing a SoBo stretch of trail I didn't see him again until PCT days. (Lots of us did some flipping that year) However, there was an ability after much long time out to feel connected without actually having people right there with you. In Wrightwood (another side story) I first heard the song "You'll never walk alone" (Theme song for Liverpool Football ⚽ club that won that year's championship btw). I was really moved by seeing the crowd sing that song, but I thought that it was also very fitting as a theme song for 2019 PCT hikers with all the storms we experienced. There's a particular idea relating to human well-being which is explained thusly: That which you need the most is found where you least want to look. One way this is manifested is by turning from this and that group and following your own path. The irony is that the one who does this often experiences a much better sense of connection than any direct connection with the crowd ever provided before. It does sometimes take a kind of courage, but maybe watching 2C provides help with that. Walk on with hope in your heart and you'll never walk alone.

[@cher9066]

Wow! You just talked about MY life! I’ve always been an over thinker and planner. Mmmmm

[@rabbischlomoify]

Thank you Corey, helpful to hear and feel less stuck in life that we can get unstuck with our own actions and mindset.

[@ThanatosWings]

I'm not attached to anyone. First off, I'm a pretty positive person despite this. But I haven't 'had a coversation with another person since July. We were going to statt dating but she decided she couldn't even be freinds with me. Maybe I shouldn't have told her I liked her, .. but that's just who I am, and she'd been flirting with me. Anyway, I've been trying consistently for the past 10 years or so to make a freind or meet a partner. The people at the community centre are either drug addicts or prositutes, the people at the university were too buisy for freinds, my previous freinds from undergrad either moved, got married or rejected me because I'm trans. I'm disabled so I don't have a lot of income to go out a lot. And I don't meet people going out 99% of the time anyways. Most people do not ask or do not respect my pronouns so I can't be freinds with them. My family has rejected me. When I meet other trans people they often want to do drugs (I don't use any substances), or they want me to pay them to hang out (they're prositutes). If someone is employed and sober, they have used me for sex or just dump me after at most 4 meetings. I just can't figure it out, how not to be alone. I'm pretty confident and think I deserve a good life but people are so shitty to me no matter what I do. I've tried distance, I've tried calling, I've tried being really open, being distant with feelings. Nothing works. And tbh I'd rather be alone than around some drug addict or someone who's going to lie to themself and me about who I am by not respecting my pronouns. If they can't even see me as my gender, then how they supposed to get to know me beyond this basic intal interaction?

[@ThanatosWings]

When I was hiking last summer no one I told noriced when I got home 2 weeks late from the trip. I let 3 people know. They didn't ask about the trip after wards or ask about the issues I had on trail, or why I was late.

[@SecondChanceHiker]

I feel you on this. Life is hard and people want to use you. Everyone who has a good heart should address you correctly is a sign of a respect and they care about your life. I ended up being friends with those with different religious beliefs, and political beliefs. being out in the mountains helped with that just viewing the good side of everyone. I am traveling across the world in 33 more days for love and marriage I hope. Maybe I am to picky or enjoy complicated relationships. Hang in there my friend and keeping taking positive steps.

[@oldmanfiles8903]

Find the woman you love .stick it out thru the good and the bad Because being alone on the porch when you're old and body doesn't work to well really sucks ☹️

[@treebeardtheent2200]

idk if I should be worried or not. You see, I have two brides. One is named Freedom, and the other is named Learning. I am deeply and forever in love with them both.

[@TheASMRlogs]

Also, we accept the love we think we deserve. So… What do you deserve?

[@SecondChanceHiker]

Omg so right. Self punishment. At the moment everything I have ever wanted in love has come true.

[@TheASMRlogs]

@@SecondChanceHiker I saw!! So happy for you! Pursue that joy dude!!

[@treebeardtheent2200]

Ok, loneliness is a reality if someone is alone for too long, but it's unhealthy for a man to need 24/7 companionship. A man can spend days weeks or even months (years idk) without other people without being lonely. In fact, it is healthy for a man to spend time alone. The only thing that varies is the amount of time, and that depends on the man. Like many things in life, there is a need for balance. Too much alone time is detrimental, and the prolonged lack of alone time is detrimental although the latter is more socially acceptable. A strong case can be made that male mental health in the US suffers from both deficiencies, but most of those who suffer are in need of some serious alone time along with maybe some guidance on how to make the most of it. Pining for companionship is the worst way to spend it btw.

[@treebeardtheent2200]

My own "attachment style" might be characterized as "homey don't play that" I have a very secure sense of myself that doesn't depend on being with any person or group on earth. When I am part of a group, the role that fits best for me is group leader. I had to think a bit to realize why "attachment" leaves a bad taste in my mind. It is too akin to bondage which is slavery. I am one who has paid immensely for freedom and she is my bride. I am not attached to freedom, I am one with her and that is infinitely better than attachment, but I can only speak for myself. Each has his or her own life, like a hike, to walk this way or that manner.

[@treebeardtheent2200]

I sometimes think that the quest for happiness is what messes many people up. It's overrated for one thing, but really the thing to pursue is meaningfulness and great mental health champions are on board here. Viktor Frankl, Carl Jeung, Jordan Peterson, and others. Ironically, one hiker in 2019 called me the "happiest hiker on trail" when he saw me for the second time. I wasn't even searching for happiness, but I will emphasize that I wasn't packing ego in my kit, nor was I following any tourist schedule, nor was I trying to "re-invent" anything. To greater or lesser degree, I did endeavor to hike every slow mile with gratitude and a kind of ease of mind. The latter was actually less cause and more the effect of the experience. I like to think that most hikers got some of the same mental uplift, but some do get more than others. The sooner that a hiker unpacks the psychological dead weight the better. Some really hold on tight to some of theirs, but I think it's very rare to find a case where the experience does more harm than good. I have yet to hear of any such case with regard to psychological well-being. With more extreme adventure cases, I have heard of loved ones who suffer back home. IDK if that happens with trail hikers, but few things in this world are perfect. Happiness comes and happiness goes. Meaningfulness however, puts down deep roots and lasts a long time.