How To Parent A Child With ADHD When You Have ADHD Yourself (w/ Elaine Taylor-Klaus)

Hello Brains! Thank you so much for helping us get to 500,000 subscribers! This is a livestream to celebrate that, featuring special guest Elaine Taylor-Klaus to talk about how to parent an ADHD child when you also have ADHD.
Visit: impactparents.com/
for more information on Elaine's book and other resources for the ADHD parent!
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[@HotPinkGirlTalk]

My daughter wants you to do a video about “how to deal with your ADHD parent when you have ADHD”. We have lots of miss/forgotten communication between the two of us and it’s frustrating for the both of us.

[@inashamsia]

How true! Works both ways 😂

[@tkdematteo]

This is a FANTASTIC idea!

[@JeffHendricks]

As an ADHD parent of ADHD children... great idea.

[@davyd28]

So true!

[@emilypanda5959]

I'm an ADHD parent with ADHD kids and an ADHD parent. It's like an ADHD generational sandwich 😂 It definitely works both ways. This is a great idea.

[@melissataylor6833]

Marking some points of interest: 5:12 Hello Brains & chat 29:43 Start/Intro with Elaine (audio fixed) 53:03 Meltdowns: how to handle before, during, and after they start 1:05:22 One parent isn’t as empathetic to ADHD issues, causing meltdowns 1:16:16 Taking care of your ADHD kids while caring for yourself with ADHD. 1:21:50 The 5 motivators for the ADHD brain (P.I.N.C.H.) 1:34:20 Adults with ADHD picking a fight before bed 1:37:17 How stress and lack of sleep affect ADHD symptoms 1:41:00 Rejection sensitivity 1:44:25 Trouble paying attention/eye contact in a conversation 1:48:30 dealing with others who judge ADHD negatively 1:56:45 Playing with your child and not going crazy with the same game over and over 1:58:57 Routines: how to help your child with routines if you struggle with them too

[@roam.renew.repeat.1110]

Thank you for this!

[@melissataylor6833]

@@roam.renew.repeat.1110 You’re welcome!

[@Eggs_N_Bread_Lady]

Thank you!!!

[@CynthiaFosterArt]

Bless you

[@RogueRabbit]

Thank you for the audio fixed and the start!

[@jeffpannell2875]

29:43 - the sound problem is fixed.

[@SKysofRain]

Thank you 😭

[@brim5459]

OMG thank you so much for this! I was about to give up

[@myas2971]

Thank you!

[@5a0ie]

This is what I came to the comments for, thanks!

[@Mememe.03]

Yay

[@YuzuDrink]

Starts at 5:10 (I didn't see if anyone else had already included this)

[@daniel-sx7mf]

guest speaker at 30:00

[@penguinsquire2085]

Guest speaker leaves at 2:06:46

[@KaoXoni]

Hoping you'll get 1000 upvotes 😄

[@KaoXoni]

I love the bit between 28:00 and 29:10. That experience was so multi-layered (pun originally unintended)... I mean, what did your guys' brains do when the echo took over? Mine (listening to the recording) went like this: (2 seconds in) Oh! This is gonna be fun for about a minute at best. I wonder how long it will take them to fix it. (4 seconds in) Nope, they can't hear it. Hope the audience is on the case, reporting already. (5 seconds in) hey, will they ever...?? This is almost a minute in by now. I better figure mit how to follow one voice in this... (trying hard to parse text following melody, picking up rhythm instead (7 seconds in) ... fuge! Pretty awesome! How many reps? (counting, getting nowhere) (11 seconds in) Anyway, this is something. (Listening, forlorn in surrender) (24 seconds in) Okay, but shouldn't three minutes should be enough? I'm getting brainwashed and I can't even figure mit the message. (50 seconds in) It's kinda easing off. Am I getting the hang of it? (60 seconds in) Jessica is getting it. Relief! (70 seconds in) but now I really have to rewind and find out how long that took. At least 5 minutes, I'd say. (> ..

[@martynkal.1248]

Thank you everyone for the timestamps!

[@monasi2010]

Thank you for existing Jessica. I don't know you personally, but you have been helping me so much. And you are very talented as well: an amazing interview host.

[@ellebelle459]

I cannot agree more, she is truly my hero

[@amysavino5364]

Yes!

[@jayjays8231]

Although I am quite convinced that a parent with ADHD, that understands ADHD is actually a great parent for a kid with ADHD! Don't ever believe that you're not.

[@ErnieLG]

Jessica, when I was a kid, my mom would carry notebooks and pens in her purse. Whenever we had to wait anywhere, she'd scribble some math expressions or equations for me to solve. And it would be fun to compete with my sisters. I ended up getting my degree in Math; and despite having the skills, uni was real rough!

[@SW-xk3fb]

Wooow. There were so many questions i can relate on but felt ashamed to ask. Like the one with the playing part. I have a hard time playing with my kids, cause i tend to get bored easily. But I never would have guessed that other ppl have problems there too. I always just thought I am a bad mom. 😳

[@ladyfibonaccii]

Same. You are not alone soul!

[@anagharani450]

I feel same

[@missamanda9334]

Same :(

[@DingleberryDennis]

Same!

[@radmomthoughts3507]

Wow, thanks for saying that. Feeling very validated.

[@stephanniemilton1313]

Ive been waiting for this one, was tempted to make one myself! Parenting 2 boys with ADHD and having ADHD myself has been a journey!

[@MJMartin127]

Let go of the leash stigma! My 4th kid broke me on that one. He WOULD NOT hold my hand. Threw himself on the ground in a crocodile death roll, and It was dangerous. He was either going to knock himself out, or yank his arm out of socket. Carrying him when he wanted to walk didn't work, either. He would thrash and throw such a fit that I couldn't hold on to him. The backpack leash was an absolute lifesaver. He knew his limits, and had a cute little giraffe backpack in which to put his treasures.

[@atherises1]

It's so weird to hear how normal I am. I always had the mindset of being different than others because nobody seems to understand. Having people who seem to understand and go through what I do in almost exactly the same way, is so comforting.

[@karlwood4306]

Hi Jessica, I'm from South Africa, Cape Town. I have had ADHD since childhood. I'm now almost 39 years old. Your videos has given me so much more perception and a better understanding even about myself. Your Videos are exceptionally great!!!!!!!!

[@tkdematteo]

OMG! I failed out of my first year in college, switched colleges and failed a semester there. Why? Bc I didn’t know how to find the right building to go to class and the second was bc I didn’t know how to take the city bus. Truth. I finally found a smaller, 2 year college (after taking a semester off) and graduated with a 3.8!

[@mellygin2710]

OMG, Same!! I wasn’t even aware that I was meant to be applying to university until I was midway into my senior year of HS! I got into the local Uni at the last minute but was totally lost and flubbed my first year. Totally ashamed, I took a semester off before starting at a two-year college. I found the courses to be far more engaging, with inspirational teachers who encouraged my amateur writing and graphic design skills, and I was able to pull off a 4.0, which allowed me to transfer to my “dream school” - it only took me about eight years to complete my undergrad🤪. My whole like I’ve felt this major disconnect, as though everybody else around me has been provided with the information necessary to fully understand and navigate their way through “normal” day-to-day life. Do you feel like that? Isn’t it great to find a place FINALLY where other people have been/done/gone through the same things as you? It makes one feel that one isn’t a totally irresponsible grown up. (Thanks for sharing your story!).

[@tkdematteo]

I also tend to ramble 😂

[@KS-un3pi]

I got lost my first week of college too!! I finally found where I was meant to go. And I failed my first biology test with a class of 300 kids...I went to professor and expressed my struggling(not diagnosed) and he was more than welcome to tutor(not in a bad way) me through the semester and worked well!! I learned a lot and my grades increased!

[@SailorXenaFan108]

Can you make a bite sized cut or timestamps of the important points? I am interested but 2 hours is a long time for a stream when your an adhd person

[@vocalsunleashed]

Totally, especially if you come across this at 2AM and you want to finish it but you also know you should sleep

[@TheBetheriemommie]

Literally me at 2:16 am right now

[@justinrosen3044]

While being careful not to overload yourself, you can try adjusting the playback speed of the video to 1.25 or even 1.5. When I hear something I really want to take more time on I will put the playback speed back to normal. In other videos, if things seem to zip by too quickly. I have even made the video slower than normal which can make it less stressful and keep me from having to rewind multiple times.

[@borbyWanglu]

@@vocalsunleashed uh-oh. I’ve been called out. Good night’

[@YOUAreTheSecretToLife]

Effing 12:45 pm. Thanks. Lol

[@teflonjon3341]

Thank you so much for this! My story is complicated but I suspect I have had ADHD unknowingly my entire life (I’m 31). The Inability to stay focused on anything that bores me or just doesn’t peak my interest. Losing things a lot and being made to feel dumb for it. Recently I’ve struggled a lot with staying on topic during a conversation, when it’s my turn to talk I tend to ramble and lose my train of thought, leading to embarrassment and negative self talk. Listening to your ted talk, it dawned on me that I may struggle through this, your life sounding just like mine brought tears to me eyes but also made me feel like I’ve found ANOTHER. Thank you for this, I’m going to seek help but just wanted to say thank you for openly speaking about this, cause it’s not easy! ❤️

[@eciesz]

You found your God-given purpose and I sure am glad you're sharing it with the world. At one point I told my therapist it's like somebody wrote a book about my life. The struggle sure is real.

[@GlenHunt]

You were talking about making certain clinicians know the full deal with ADHD. While watching the livestream, I was interrupted by a call from my insurance company about the comprehensive behavioral healthcare I'm looking for, and this is EXACTLY what I was making sure she understood before she began to search for facilities and therapists for me. It is SO important!

[@chica779]

Omg omg OMG!!!! This is EXACTLY what I'm struggling with right this moment!!!!🤯🤯 When I can sit and watch this uninterrupted, I will be soaking up every single detail. Thank you so so SO much for this!!!❤❤

[@elfrog98]

I definitely watched it in chunks because I'm right there with ya!

[@anastasiyadidok1391]

Yup. I'm on chunk 3 on 40 minutes 😂

[@jenniferhizzy6591]

Many people are experiencing emotional dysregulation right now and do not have ADHD. Maybe now they will understand our dally struggles.

[@tothosethatwander]

Right, because of the pandemic

[@tkdematteo]

As a mother with a ADHD to 2 children (9 & 12) with ADHD, I’m glad you did this! My son knew about your live before I did, so he told me bc he knew I’d want to watch it when I could. He enjoys your videos as well. Thank you so much for being this source of encouragement, relatability, and just bringing this whole topic to light and educating everyone so it’s not so isolating. 😊

[@zufinfluby]

Omg! This has been concerning me, can't wait to watch, guess it's house clean youtube time :D

[@tbbart6463]

You tube is a prerequisite for cleaning for me too!

[@scpreader5868]

Wow this is a good idea

[@zechariah22]

Your videos make me feel so many emotions, especially sadness and happiness. The more I watch, the more things make sense which upsets me when I think about my past and happy when I think about my future.

[@tulpa_inmycloset]

This is helping my mom and I communicate so so much! Plus it was especially helpful for me to hear professionals validate my own feelings about my relationship with her, ESPECIALLY regarding rsd

[@alexej6080]

Thank you so much for this! Only getting my diagnose as an adult now, explains so much of my struggles. And this is helping so much with the work of re-parenting myself, and showing empathy and compassion to myself.

[@chickchats6923]

Oh man took me too long to get to watching this video! My hubby and 7 year old have ADHD and we mostly manage pretty well but lately it’s been so tough and I’m just crying thru listening to this. I know my husband tries so hard but it’s been rough lately. Thank you for this video!!

[@AbideWithMe7]

I’m sorry to hear about your mom’s passing. My mom passed suddenly a few years ago and it was so hard to deal with. Thanks for everything you share with us.

[@ingeinge3266]

Hands down, one of the most helpful things I’ve ever listened to in my life. Thank you soooooo much.

[@amandamitlyng955]

I can't thank you enough for doing this blog! I've been struggling with my son & working with him on his adhd since he was 3, he's now 7. I am so excited to hear this blog & hope it gives me some insight into his world. I badly want to help him but don't know how. This gives me hope! ❤

[@amyaveritt9674]

I just want to take a moment to thank you so much for creating this channel. I discovered you after my 5 year old was diagnosed with ASD and severe ADHD--then I was diagnosed with ADHD this yearat 34 years old! Needless to say, you have taught me so much and I try to share this resource with everyone I know. When I feel I am at my worst, I watch these and they bring me so much hope. Thank you again Amy in Alabama❤

[@anninhacfp]

Greetings from Brazil!!🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷 You helped me a lot with our adhd!! Here we are 3 brains: me and my sons!! Thanks you só much!!!❤️

[@peterleray6084]

I am mindblown by your channel! I LOVE IT! Finally I can relate to ppl. Most of my life I was almost always a failure. I was always the kid that was a "joy to have in class", but...... Now I am 46 and have an 11yr old son and he definitely has it too. He's got the figity adhd. I have gotten bad the last 10yrs. I have a ton of projects that are all half done.

[@jayjays8231]

This is truly a welcome subject! Because we're mostly figuring it out on our own now. The judging critique I sometimes get from other parents for not disciplining my son enough for his percieved 'misbehavior'.... As if I don't have his best interest at heart.

[@teresajones4643]

More of this please!!! This was so validating and probably more helpful than any parenting book I have ever read. Your channel has helped me so much in the short time since I was diagnosed at 42 after learning that almost everyone in my immediate family has ADHD (including my daughter). Thank you! With so many good questions here, may I suggest collecting the best ones and doing a recorded video to answer them? I would love to hear some more safety tips for parents who are anxious about their inattention. I remember days where I was too scared to leave the house sometimes for fear that I would get distracted and forget them in a hot car, lose them in a crowd or otherwise let something terrible happen to them. They miraculously survived to an age where that is less of a concern but with them rapidly approaching the teenage years, I would also love for example, to learn about some ADHD-friendly ways to deal with online safety

[@ladyfibonaccii]

Without this KZbin community you've created for us Brains... you've created a safe place for us to feel okay sharing personal things about ourselves and our own struggles. Sometimes the community I found in these comments help me feel not so alone. It helps me come to terms that this is a real struggle and it does matter. So thank you so much for crested a safe haven for all of us Brains. From the bottom of my soul thank you so much for stepping out of that comfort zone and offering this support and understanding and guidance. Seriously thank you so much. I know more about myself at the age of 31 then I ever did, and that's because of you, and this team on this channel. It's helping me build a relationship with my mother by being more open about our mental health. I just want to keep saying thank you, because this channel literally changed my life. Thank you so so so much!

[@silasnailo9811]

Congratulations on a half million subscribers. Keep up the great work, and thank you.

[@fishstick7104]

I can't believe it! (screaming on the inside) You have revealed to me why my husband is so confrontational!!! He's doing it for stimulation! Oh my gosh! I have wondered for so many years why he would go on like nothing ever happened after fights, it frustrated and confused me for so long! You are a miracle! Thank you!

[@katefriend4085]

I'm so glad I've found this video. I'm really grateful for the advice and the shift in perspective on the expectations we place on our kids and ourselves. I also found, when people talked to me about star charts for young children (brought up toward the end of the interview) I always felt like I was being told about the f-ing tooth fairy; I hadn't been raised that way myself, and I didn't know if I liked the idea, but I tried it anyway... so I explained the system to my older son, but he interrupted me when I was explaining the rewards (which were things like extra time w the grownups such as playing a game, or watching a movie, or whatever) my son said: "I shouldn't have to have to _earn_ those things!" He was 4 or 5. I said to myself, "you know, I don't think this chart thing is going to work for us." Maybe I shouldn't have given up, but I did. We did other things to get a schedule going and try to motivate to do things, but not the bloody sticker charts! I'm looking forward to reading her book to see more about the rationale behind charts, to see if it's still something I could adapt. Thank you for putting this up, it's still helping a year on!

[@janinebakker3706]

Thank you so much for this video, I am a mom with ADHD and I have been looking for info on and help with parenting for ages. As you say, there's not a lot out there so I this video is like gold dust!

[@sweetestkaramel4996]

I wanted to respond to 19:06 but forgot this isn't live anymore. Regardless! I got diagnosed for mixed ADHD as of September the 9th, and I started watching your videos on a week later. It really helped me a lot, to understand myself and to feel better about myself by being reassured about things I was struggling with. Thank you so much

[@C3Parenting]

Stumbled onto your channel. My son is neuro-diverse ADHD and Autistic. I suspect I am ADHD, but not prioritising my own diagnosis...will get there😂 Your channel has helped me a lot in my day to day, but also helped me to parent my son. I can now teach him great tools on how to ADHD. This really made our lives so much easier. Thank you

[@diannahoiland6854]

I have ADHD, OCD, and anxiety with tendencies towards separation anxiety. I was diagnosed around 5 and treated with medication and cognitive behavioral therapy for the ADHD, OCD, and childhood trauma I experienced as well. your videos have taught me so much more about my ADHD then any of the therapy did and have inspired me so much! I recently begun college and have set out on a path to better my life. your videos have helped me in so many ways to accept myself more and address my ADHD more effectively. thank you.

[@lookingupwithwonder]

Yes last week I started putting clean laundry in a big giant tub in my bedroom (single mum with ADHD, two boys with ADHD). For a long time now I have been leaving them in piles on the floor. Our shelves/drawers/fabric Ikea boxes are labeled with either pictures or coloured word labels. We do not fold! We literally chuck it in its section. If I don't have the emotional energy to do that, it goes in the giant tub and we rummage through it. Another thing is I put my dishes in a plastic tub and wash them in the shower while I'm watching my phone. I've been overwhelmed with depression and perimenopause the last 2 years. I am trying not beat to myself for not doing things like what is expected of me. I can't do everything. I have been studying, working and single parenting. My brain needs a BREAK 😍

[@joshuarodriguez5986]

QUESTION: How to deal with "TRY HARDER" comments from a PARENT?

[@trenton4228]

Is this like a Child getting that from a parent or the parent hearing they just need to try harder

[@joshuarodriguez5986]

@@trenton4228 my mom saying it to me, she thinks my adhd is just an excuse

[@palmpixiplus]

Joshua Rodriguez, sorry in advance if my response is a bit long winded. ( For context, I have ADHD as do my wife and my step-daughter. ) Some parents are unable or unwilling to wrap their heads around the idea that ADHD exists/poses legitimate difficulties while others might simply not understand how ADHD impact's their children. In either event, the best advice that I can give is this: When you have some time to yourself, try to see if you can identify a few specific difficulties that you routinely encounter. ( For example, I find it hard to focus on anything else while I am listening to someone speak ). Be as concise and to the point as possible and talk yourself through it a few times if you need to. Once you've done that, you'll want to wait until you have some downtime with that parent. Ideally this would be at a time when you aren't actively in conflict and they aren't asking you do do something at that moment. Ultimately, you'll need to talk to your parent(s) about these difficulties. Depending on your relationship with your parent(s) you could handle this a few ways ( including starting the conversation as a request for 'advice' or leaving them a note to read ). The goal here is to help your parents understand what it is that you are struggling with. Hopefully this will help to build empathy and they will start to think about how they can make changes to help you. This won't be a quick change ( and likely won't be easy, unfortunately ) but it's likely the best option at your disposal. If you have access to a therapist, I would recommend talking to them as "TRY HARDER" can be very painful to deal with. Best of Luck!

[@sarahp6512]

To add on to the previous comment: 1. There are studies that show "trying harder" actually *decreases* cognitive activity in the frontal cortex in ADHD brains, so trying harder makes things worse. It's a neurological issue, not a behavioral one (this info may be helpful to share with them) 2. When approaching your parents with specific difficulties (as suggested in the previous comment), maybe suggest some strategies you'd like to try, and ask for their help/support. That way they can see you're being proactive, and it also gives you a starting point in learning how to manage your ADHD as a team. 3. If you think your parents may be receptive to it, try sending them videos or articles that explain some of the things they don't understand. If not, you can take the information and explain it to them yourself, and if they don't believe you then you can back it up with sources. Coming from someone who's parents try to understand but sometimes still make "try harder" comments: give them time. It's a learning process for both of you and your parents will make mistakes sometimes.

[@trenton4228]

@@joshuarodriguez5986 I see well Try not to internalize it and maybe educate her on what problems it causes for you

[@trenton4228]

QUESTION: How do you tell your parents you think you have ADHD when you are afraid of Rejection Sensitivity? (My sister is disabled and it is making me think i might not be as important and that I will not be cared about as much as her.) Any tips let me know. (I have watched your videos on Telling your parents you have ADHD and Rejection sensitivity)

[@lyndseymeagenwalker3057]

A couple thoughts, and please let them be thoughts and hopefully helpful and nothing else. 1. Is it possible that because of the obvious disability of your sister, your parents focus has perpetually swung to support her needs by default? 2. Was there no obvious intention to ignore or exclude you as their child, and no obvious action taken against your needs, simply an unintentional neglect? Would there be any justification for concern of rejection? 3. If there is true valid rejection history, are you dealing with a favoritism situation and/or narcissistic parenting dynamic? 4. If there is rejection history, but they hear you out now and are willing to make the changes necessary to support both you and your sister as their children equally, are you willing to let them?

[@markmulkerin620]

I don't know your parents, but what is usually a good way to communicate information with them. If you already have a way that has worked for other topics, I'd use that. Given your question though I'm guessing you don't have that comfortable path. You might try telling them that some of you friends have told you that you were ADHD and you looked at some information and weren't sure and you'd like them to look at it too. Regardless, I have three kids - the oldest and youngest have ADHD (and the youngest also has had many other things going on). So when my middle child was diagnosed with dyslexia last year going into high school, I was kicking myself for not seeing the issue sooner. Admittedly, I had my hands full with my youngest and his various issues and I had blinders on trying to just get through. I wish I'd known sooner and gotten my middle child the help she needed sooner and unless your parents are wired very differently from me, they will perhaps feel a little (or a lot) guilty for not seeing what you needed sooner and getting you the help you need and deserve. As a parent, we sometimes get so wrapped up in the obvious situation that we miss the less glaring one, but that doesn't mean we don't care about both. Good luck.

[@rooskeuter1419]

If you're scared that they will go with preconceived notions of ADHD maybe don't tell them that you suspect you have it. Tell them instead that you feel like your executive functioning is lacking in comparison to other people, and that you would like to talk to a professional about it. To like give you some strategies etc. You can than tell the professional your real worry of suspecting you have ADHD. Hope this helps, good luck :)

[@CatalogK9]

My approach is aggressive apathy: I do not care whether my parents "buy into it" (they don't), or that they don't believe my son has it (he does), because their opinions do not change the facts, and do not reflect on me, but on THEM. I have done my own *obsessively hyperfocused* research for the past three years into understanding how my brain works and finding the answer to the question of "what is WRONG with me?!" -- they haven't. I have lived with this brain for 32 and a half years -- they haven't. (And I have a history of changing my mind when presented with new information -- they don't.) Yes, it's immensely frustrating when they push back and say hurtful and ignorant things to/about me or my son about our ADHD, and yeah, it's always going to hurt a little bit, but ultimately, their reluctance to accept the truth boils down to them being unable to admit that they were wrong about something that shaped my entire life (usually negatively), that they screwed up as parents in not getting me diagnosed or treated, that they treated me unfairly and unhelpfully growing up (and even now), that they are continuing to perpetuate these destructive and toxic patterns, because the cognitive dissonance of having to come to terms with their own failures is too much for them to bear, and there is nothing they can ever do to fix it or make it right. Even though I've come to terms with it, and I forgive them and totally understand how they missed the signs with their limited knowledge at the time, they know deep down that they can't forgive themselves, and so they refuse to open Pandora's Box and instead seal it within the container of Uncomfortable Truths I Refuse to Acknowledge.

[@splash2849]

Definitely if u haven’t already tell them what’s on your mind, for me my parents don’t care so I’ve always found ways on how to deal with it (aka watching this channel) on my own, so even if u feel overlooked at times u know how to deal with stuff yourself

[@sterlingortiz]

Ohhh thank goodness!! These are so many questions I've needed answering!

[@tommonson307]

I am now 77 and and have been a single dad with ADHD to two boys/men with ADHD. I have brought them up from 4 and 7 to 32 and 35. They both still live with me. It's been an exciting time and we/I have learned a lot. Keeping a schedule for the bathroom or laundry often doesn't happen when it should. the trick is staying flexible.

[@suuz.11]

Thank you so very much for this. Really brought me to tears. So many insights. So recognizable and spot on on so many levels. Awesome! ❤️🙏

[@dg6746]

Thank you Jessica, your advice is golden and hits home for me with a 98% hit rate. I also have a gifted 14 year old with ADHD and ODD. It has been a difficult journey.

[@heathrusty]

I just discovered your channel, and I just need to say thank you! A few months ago I started having realizations (as a 40-year old) that I probably have ADHD. In that same time we've had our son diagnosed with ADHD. I've been reading articles about being a woman with ADHD, but this video made me feel seen in a way I've never felt before. It brought me to tears several times. I'm planning to discuss an ADHD evaluation with my doctor at my next appointment. But this kind of content has helped me so much already. Thank you so much!

[@sarahuhlich6833]

Welcome to the tribe! I was diagnosed last year at 30 (primarily inattentive and flew under the radar) after watching Jessica’s videos partly out of curiosity and partly to better understand my husband who we suspected was ADHD (and has since also been diagnosed). I kept watching the videos and going “wait, I do that” “oh, that’s me” “…not everyone does that?” etc. Now the three of us (my kid’s a recently diagnosed ADHD brain, too) are bumbling through figuring this out together. It’s a challenge, but communities and resources like this one have been ✨AMAZING✨ Best of luck at your appointment(s)! ❤️

[@Soul.Heart.Mind.]

Knitting is a fantastic fidget! Agreed- it gets to a point where you don’t have to look at your knitting anymore, especially a nice simple garter stitch or stockinette. It realy helped me both times around at uni

[@gingereiss9099]

I was diagnosed in April at the age of 41. Your videos are fantastic and helpful.

[@sarahdh6213]

This interview was so incredibly helpful to me. I went out and got ETK's book The Essential Guide and it's my new favorite parenting book. Thank you both.

[@Kiki_1014]

as far as the 90 day challenge goes I wanted to throw an idea out that I heard from Matt D"Avella here on youtube! its a two day rule. you never miss something two days in a row or its harder to start again and easier to just quit. for example, I missed m workout yesterday which means I HAVE to workout today. its a good rule that's kept me on top of things. I'm def not perfect and still miss 2+ days in a row but its a good tool to have

[@heinzhair]

No need to be apologetic, Jessica! You can’t get to everyone’s questions and this conversation is soooo beneficial!! Thank you

[@julienowakowski9718]

Your TED talk lead me to find your channel.

[@Xplreli]

Thank you so much for this. I loved watching.

[@Ry-lx2kl]

Elaine, please please please make an audible version of your book. Thank you for the excellent talk.

[@kaitmarie8432]

Thanks for your last video. I was diagnosed with ADHD around 10 years ago but have been off meds for several years. Been having the toughest time finishing my college work and other aspects of my life have been very out of control due to it as well. Just talked to my psych yesterday and I am back on meds. X

[@valeriegear2156]

love your videos. They have helped us as a family to understand ADHD and being able to help my granddaughter. Thank you so much. xx

[@cynthiast-pierre3648]

Thanks for this talk. Exactly what I've been looking for.

[@scottthemediahoarder]

I'd love to see more of this! Lots of great info in here that I'll put to use right away. Thanks for doing this chat.

[@nicolepincince9761]

Elaine. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THHHHHAAANNNKKK YOU!!! what you said about COVID, truly resonates in my heart 💗

[@davyd28]

Glad to hear that How To ADHD is growing! The education and support we find on this channel is so encouraging! I hope you guys get involved in creating/ promoting/ investing in/ sponsoring/ designing professional development programs or courses on ADHD diagnostics and treatments specifically for health professionals, many of whom, as you and others keep saying, often don't get educated in current research - courses that are made available and more importantly, accessible online to those in rural areas across the globe - that would have the most meaningful impact and benefit potentially thousands and millions of Brains worldwide!

[@YOUAreTheSecretToLife]

Yes yes yes yes yes!!!!!

[@parthodave123]

Thank you for the videos girl ❤️

[@telltaleheart2695]

Got diagnosed at 31 when I hit a (metaphorical) wall during medical residency and couldn't keep up with my work. I tried before that to be a ADHD-friendly doctor, but now even more so- it was life-changing to start feeling like I could actually function, and now I can apply that knowledge and experience to my patients. Love your channel! 💜

[@ambercassidy9218]

Always grateful for every video -

[@jessieg7463]

Thank you Jessica you have helped me a lot. Also my 12 year son so much. Thank you. LOVE YOUR CHANNEL

[@GlenHunt]

And, you're totally halfway to the number of subs Katie has! Keep going!! You can catch her!!

[@danhenney8825]

You inspire and help so many im 43 i think I have a.d.h.d . I need to book drs appointment I rang a few days ago was waiting 17mins then hung up bored needing the help and frustrated not to get through. It was a big effort to make the call like most things are for me. Your videos help me so thank you and if you ever need a chat or a caring ear I'd love to return the favour of the help you give me and so many....keep doing you j think you are very special :)

[@lcirocco]

How did I miss this? let me guess.

[@trenton4228]

ADHD??!??!!??!?!

[@vocalsunleashed]

Same 😂😅

[@YOUAreTheSecretToLife]

Shoot, same!

[@kailiewick4740]

I have ADHD and I am noticing things in my son. His hyper focus is no joke. I just got him signed up for help me grow. I zoned out two times on the lady try to tell me some important information. Then made a serious face to try and stay focus. I hope she doesn’t think I’m crazy. I’m feeling PSD from when I was a kid. I’m so glad so much studies have come around for my kid then when I was little. I’m getting him help at 2.

[@jcheck99]

Thank you. So much of this really spoke to me.

[@kaymack5304]

This was excellent. Thank you.

[@colubrinedeucecreative]

Around 1:32 you BLEW my mind! People often pester, pick fights, joke, because the brain is seeking stimulation to function. That has always been a major issue of mine. My grandpa used to joke with me that I was that thing in the tub of the washer. It spins round and round. It is called the agitator. Wow. Wow thank you

[@brianreese9318]

When your child won’t explain his problems or take blame for his actions and blames others as they feel they did nothen wrong it gets frustrating 14 years of trying to manage the child’s needs and nothen seems to help curve the issues that happen daily it’s good to hear that I’ve tried a lot of what Elaine is saying thanks lady’s

[@ericheup8346]

Yes! I’ve been looking for one one this!!

[@sandybarra4271]

We went to South America and had our ASD/ADHD 6yo son and our impulsive 4yo son on wrist leashes and we got so many compliments on how safe we were being especially with the high rate of human trafficking there is. Don’t put down parents who keep their super impulsive kids safe with leashes especially if the parent also struggles with focus and attention issues. My ASD/ADHD 6yo let go of the stroller while I was navigating a very busy school parking lot and almost got hit by a car because he let go and started to run….and he had been told for months to hang on to the stroller.

[@khillikialea]

I have dyslexia and server hearing loss and was diagnosed with ADD in year 2000, with one son that has ASD,MSUD, and PEG. Another son with mild to moderate hearing loss with server speech delay and I think he may have a form of ADHD?, and my daughter has speech delay’s. I have just started watch you and it has been extremely helpful thank you for just being you hugs kisses

[@linds8444]

This is what I need to figure out! I think people hear adhd and they think it’s not a big deal or doesn’t seriously impact your life, and it impacts every aspect….learning relationships housekeeping. The ability to focus on one thing at a time is something people often take for granted

[@jenniferhizzy6591]

Thank you ,you are greatly appreciated.

[@AprilBrand74]

11 months later more than 800k subscribers! 🎉 Congratulations!!!!!

[@pyrosaat1566]

The most helpful video you made!

[@mattmarchant1123]

Can you make a video for parents without ADHD? Two teenagers, four yearold, and one about to be here! Really like your videos, helps a lot!

[@adhdd4169]

I wasn’t diagnosed in the last few years but about 8 years ago at 32 after my older brother was diagnosed. My mom hasn’t been formally diagnosed but we are quite sure she also has it.

[@JuliaBumstead]

I gave my mom such a hard time when she couldn’t follow through with my financial aid documents for college.. now I’m an adult parenting a child with adhd and wow

[@Shordanna]

Honestly, I love how the lead trumpet player plays cuz honestly that's how confident I would play

[@helensmith4126]

This was such a helpful video

[@persona5305]

my husband listened to me on understanding ADHD is because at the end of the day, listening is important in relationship and i was telling him that I couldn't keep a relationship where one is not willing to listen and understand to fix and be better. he loved us so he listen... it was a plus when my child's teacher kept on messaging me about my child's distractedness and i had to finally had him diagnosed and he started taking a medication. he acknowledged that it was a medical condition which is out of our control.

[@moegirl76]

This was literally my question today!!!

[@rubytook8067]

So, it's been a year and I have time now! Lol. So excited to watch this and learn things! Edit: Leashes on toddlers are awesome. Don't be afraid to keep your kid safe. 😎

[@beth7921]

For meltdowns or extreme crying I’ve used singing one of their fav songs that they like to sing and getting them to start singing with me so they can focus on that instead and calm themselves down and then they’re able to breathe and talk. Might not work for everyone but I figured if it helps to sing when you’re running it was worth a try for this too.

[@kimmycastaneda8063]

Thank god.your on here 39 and never understanding what ADHD really is ..late 80s being diagnosed was ok but ..they said I'd grow out of it and didn't explain have felt crazy and now I feel wow thanks to your video

[@Tashax405]

Watched this and was like 'I should buy this lady's book' and then went to Audible and realized I already bought it and forgot. Thanks for reminding me to listen to it!

[@NttainMe]

Thank you for this topic

[@tiffanyrichardson5247]

So much i can relate to and so much good info

[@littleblizzard7591]

Just what I need!

[@jacobconley9043]

Oh god I’ve been waiting for this video

[@kariannefimland1475]

Hi Jessica :) Love this channel. One thing I hope could be a possibility for you and the channel in the future is to create an online course (made in cooperation with the experts) that would be a course proffessionals in the field could take to "update their knowledge" on ADHD. (so it is not just people sending their proffessional to this channel), but an actual "approved" proffessional course :) I am sure there are experts you have worked with, who could be a part of this.

[@JordanLeigh]

I highly recommend infinity cubes and those really thick stretchy strings that come in a box with like 6 different colors. Both of those are quiet and really stimulating without me feeling like “I mUST LOOK AT IT oh mY GoooOOOD.”

[@smartpawsdoggietraining9148]

What this could not have come at a better time. I have Add and my son has adhd and this virtual school is making me crazy because of my disorganization and challenges with time management

[@elfrog98]

Yes!! Same here, I have 2, one pre-diagnosis ADHD/dysgraphia and one pre-diagnosis anxiety who hates changes and is in his very first year of school. I feel like I'm back in school with them but also being the police ("point yourself at your meeting!"), and my frustration skyrockets while my stimulation bottoms out 🤯 nevermind the fact that I'm constantly juggling printouts to see who has what when. So this helps at least add to my understanding. Sorry for the rant ...

[@ReiverGrad14]

@@elfrog98 I'm not the only one?

[@elfrog98]

@@ReiverGrad14 me neither?