How to Plan the PERFECT Wedding Ceremony

[@terriwhite3372]

My Dad passed away a few months prior to my wedding. I had asked him who he’d want to stand in for him, and he gave me this look. “You’re pushing 30, you can’t find your own way down the aisle?”

[@salamanda11]

What a classic dad response. I hope that conversation is a sweet memory for you. So sorry for your loss. 🧡

[@stevieray7203]

Sorry for your loss 💛🙏🏻 I am deciding whether to walk solo or have my soon to be father in law walk me down, but I like your dad’s take.

[@terriwhite3372]

@@stevieray7203 Thank you. I was married many years ago, but I listen to this channel because I get a kick out of Jamie! Anyway, I ended up being escorted by my 9-year-old nephew, who looked like a miniature version of my Dad.

[@terriwhite3372]

@@salamanda11 Thank you. My Dad was quite the character!

[@mookie8485]

Sorry for your loss but happy to see this. Both my parents are passed and my aunt is walking Me down the isle. I think. Or I might walk down alone. I'm not sure what to do.

[@maddie19]

To me being “given away” doesn’t mean what it use to, so I’m fine with it and would like my father to walk me down the aisle. It’s a sentimental moment between the bride and her loved one/ones who have supported her throughout her life and are walking her into this new phase.

[@EmWhale]

I have decided not to be given away. My father is not in the picture and my grandad passed away last year. Although my mum is still around ive always felt like the one who ‘carries’ my mum and my siblings, so it felt a little hypocritical to be given away by my mum or big brother. I feel it has more impact for me to walk down the aisle alone as a symbolic gesture to my fiancé that i am ready to give up being independent for the first time in my life and start relying on someone else. I have always said im not being walked down the aisle because they’re not giving me away - its more like im giving them up.

[@skysbeauty3369]

We had our wedding on 7/29/2023. I used Jamie's advice for everything! She's amazing at teaching you how to do it on your own, and if you need to hire anyone, she gives advice on that as well. Jamie is amazing for teaching people how to have an amazing wedding on a budget and smart!

[@adiarae360]

ANOTHER TIP! You can also have the best man or maid of honor read both sets of vows, and they can give feedback to both as well on the tone, length, etc.!

[@tarynwilliams3778]

Our "giving away" part the preacher is saying "I would never ask a mother and father to give their daughter away, so do I have your blessing for this marriage"

[@salamanda11]

Planning the ceremony was one of the hardest parts for us, but we’re so happy with how it turned out. We did a game during our ceremony: my husband’s sister read out cute things one of us did for the other, and the guests had to guess who did the cute thing. That part was probably too long, but it was fun and got everyone engaged. And for a unifying ritual, we made a spice blend because we love cooking together. We wrote the vows together too, and had the officiant (who was a friend) read them and us just respond “I will” or “I promise” or whatever. It was perfect for us.

[@mariecoye9651]

We are honoring our Irish heritage for our unity ceremony and doing a hand fasting ceremony 😍I’m so excited about it!

[@haleytruslow7200]

We are doing a hand fasting ceremony as well!

[@sofiasara98]

I wasn't formally given away, but I had both my parents walk me down the aisle and LOVED it. My best friend was escorted by just her dad, but both of her parents gave her away. They were both super sweet and such special moments

[@rachelhuberty7510]

I’m recently engaged and I only watch you while at the gym and when I have alone time, thank you for all of the great advice and making treadmill time seem less painful 🥴

[@hieronymusboschful]

Wedding singer here, almost exclusively ceremonies for 20 + years - I really love it when an officiant takes a moment at the start of the ceremony to just let everyone decompress for a minute. It’s a big day, lots of rushing, it’s worth just letting everyone BREATHE and remember why they are there. For music, if you’ve hired a professional and need some guidance your musos will be more than happy to help.

[@catherineclaire7429]

Hey, I’m intrigued. Can you give some more info on what that moment to decompress looks like? Does the officiant actually verbally prompt everybody to take a breath?

[@hieronymusboschful]

@@catherineclaire7429 I do a lot of catholic weddings, as well as many civil ceremonies (in NSW, Australia) and many officiants I work with do a version of this. It’s usually some variation on ‘ [spouse 1] and [spouse 2] are so glad you are all here and welcome you to their wedding. This is a momentous day for them, and they are grateful you have journeyed here to be with them. Because it is such a momentous thing, and because today is a full day, they would like to take a moment to take in this experience and enjoy just being present with you all. The act of committing to each other is a sacred/enormous act, one of the most important things they will ever do. And it is worth celebrating that you all made it here! So for a moment, we will think about what we are all here to do. [the couple] is here to commit, and you are all here as supportive witnesses. Let us revel in the beautiful ceremony we are about to share together.’

[@SpanglishSpider]

You crack me up lol. I love how you put your personality in your videos. I'm getting married in April and your videos give me life! Write that down lol

[@meaganhammer9025]

We're getting married in August and I'm walking myself down the aisle. I wanted to symbolize being an adult who is making this choice with her eyes wide open while standing on her own two feet. Plus I'm not letting anyone see me in my dress before the wedding so it can be a surprise :)

[@cindytaylor6320]

I am not on my first wedding and I will not have a father figure at my wedding. I have decided to walk down the aisle on my own. Thanks for all the suggestions as always. 😊

[@elenig4080]

Thank you, Jamie! This is SUCY a helpful video and I can't to see your next one on ceremony tips! 😊

[@cheyennesmith7667]

wedding is in 10 days! sept 22nd!

[@rachy5384]

Exciting, congratulations lovely, hope you have a fabulous day - mine is in November this year, so coming up soon too ❤

[@cheyennesmith7667]

wedding went great! it was such a good time! we planned the whole thing plus our weekend minimoon for around 3k! and these videos seriously helped so much in my planning process! @@rachy5384

[@katelynhamilton4962]

Very excited for the unification idea video

[@michellec3871]

Very helpful-thank you so much!!

[@meetmorgann]

Hey Jamie! Can you do a video on open ceremonies and closed receptions? Pros, cons, etiquette, etc.? Trying to think of ways to slim guest count, is this a good idea or poor taste? Thanks!

[@salamanda11]

As a guest I would be pretty bummed to be invited to the ceremony only and not the reception, and I might not even go (certainly wouldn’t travel to be kind of a second-class guest). The reception is the fun part! Where people mingle and get to spend time with you as the married couple too.

[@meetmorgann]

@@salamanda11 In your opinion would you rather be invited to ceremony but not reception... or... not be invited at all to either? Which would you prefer as a friend of the bride or groom? Thoughts?!

[@salamanda11]

@@meetmorgann I think I would personally rather not be invited to either. But please don’t only go off of my opinion! I think as maybe a less-close friend I would understand if the couple said “we’re having an intimate wedding, so we aren’t inviting a lot of friends.” I also try not to presume that I’d be invited to friends’ weddings if we aren’t super close anymore. Wishing you luck! 🧡

[@lovelyelocin8682]

My sister did this, kinda. MIL got excited and told/invited everyone from their church. Because the ceremony took place at a public venue several ppl showed up. However, only guests who received invitations had reception instructions/location. I would word it as an "Intimate or Private Dinner". Using the word reception gives the expectation that all guest will be welcome.

[@catherineclaire7429]

Great timing. Thank you!

[@amandaarndt4778]

Great video so helpful. Thank you so much.🎉

[@feychildtarot355]

Can you do ceremony types? Our officiants details (he's also our dj) mentioned a traditional ceremony, whatever that entails.

[@CharisMaggieTV]

Exactly the video I needed

[@allivy779]

only reason i hate the "giving away" is because it breaks my heart and sob everytime i think about. like I'm not my dads anymore and we break off..... officially ugly crying

[@therookiefisherman5234]

I do unboaring weddings got Marks training. I give all the vendors my officiant timeline

[@melissamelendez4419]

I’m Puerto Rican and I’ve seen a signing ceremony where they sign the license in the ceremony. What do you advise?

[@jessicado3307]

Jamie! We get married next week! Any chance you’ll drop the video for tips by then 😅

[@jackiemiller9422]

Thanks for sharing this information! 6:06

[@mariemichalak8372]

Please help! My fiancés parents are helping to pay for our wedding day and his mother is hellbent on it NOT being unplugged since she thinks it’s unfair that people who travel can’t take pictures, and that it will be expensive for us to send pictures to everyone from a photographer. We think we should have only two people take photos, or have people do it discreetly to bend to her wishes. But we do prefer an unplugged ceremony. We also wanted a color theme for guests and before asking us she bought a dress off theme. What should I do? My wedding is in July of 2025. Thank you! I love your videos. :)

[@salamanda11]

If you’re hiring a professional photographer, it should be super easy to share the photos! Most photographers will send you a link to the gallery; you can share that link or download particular photos to share with people. You’ll need to wait for the photographer to finish editing, but it’ll be worth having professional photos that don’t show everyone with their phones out. If the guests want photos THAT DAY, set up a photo booth at the reception!

[@salamanda11]

For the theme, that is tough since she already bought something. We wanted everyone to dress in a color scheme (because our wedding was so small, everyone was basically immediate family or would-be wedding party), and we had it clear on the website.

[@mariemichalak8372]

@@salamanda11 Thank you!

[@ayannagreen5428]

Some weddings have a 'Social Media Minute' 🤳where the officiant let's guests know they have bride-and-groom's permission to go take pics for one minute, afterwards put cell phones away and professional photographer documents the ceremony. 🎞️ (also previous comment about future sharing of link from photog) 🤞 + good luck with MIL-to-be😮

[@mariemichalak8372]

Thank you!

[@azlynnhill2417]

Hi!! I cannot find a unification ideas video, do you have that?

[@notquiteasamazingjess]

Me and my Fiancé are walking in together. I’m nonbinary, having to fight all the brideyness of the industry and traditions, and especially the “giving away” thing is something that doesn’t work for me. I’m having my dad officiate, so we can avoid any extended family who aren’t with the program getting offended by it.

[@TEWMUCH]

I def wanna be given away by my dad. I think it is fitting. Up until you are married, your dad is the man that's "responsible" for you. But when u become married, now your husband is the man responsible for you. I like the symbolic gesture. Also I feel that alot of ppl sherk traditional because they had broken upbringing and don't feel it applies to them. But for me, though my dad made mistakes, it fits.! Perfect wedding timeliness sounds cool.

[@annak9281]

Personally my dad (and mom) have not been responsible for me since I turned 18 and moved out to study in a different city. I ask their advice, I listen to their opinions but ultimately I make the decisions for myself and thus I'm responsible for my own life. There is no broken upbringing or bad relationships. I feel like it would seem fake to have my father "giving me away" since he in reality does not have this power as I have been responsible for myself for almost a decade now. Anyway we plan to walk together as it is more traditional from where my partner comes from.

[@TEWMUCH]

@annak9281 "responsible" is in quotes because it is not meant in a hard and fast way, like providing financial support or making decisions on your behalf. Your father was present in your life. And though you support yourself, he IS the man in your life, and it sounds like he has been there from day one. Dare I say he has been the most important man in your life providing u with guidance and emotional support to this day. So, in that sense, he is the man God had put in your life to watch over you. Once you get married, that man changes to your husband. It's more a spiritual meaning than a literal one. Walking down the aisle and being "given away" to your husband is symbolic of that truth.

[@annak9281]

@@TEWMUCH Yes my father has been one of the most important people in my life. But again personally, me getting married does not change his status in a real or in any symbolic way. I also have lived with my future husband already for five years, so maybe this is why it seems weird for me to symbolize this "shift" when there is non. Aditionally, I don't like how this tradition seems to me give more credit to my father then to my mother. They have been an equal team as my parents and I did not grow up with the idea that my father was "the man of the house". And why is my relationship with my father more important to symbolize than my partners to his parents? These are just the questions that made me decide not to do this, while I support everyone to do what they are comfortable with.

[@TEWMUCH]

@annak9281 I understand your stance. The man is being highlighted because u are marrying a man. Not a woman. I think the father passing you off is not saying your dad is replaced, but saying your dad approves of the new guy in your life. It's a passing of a baton, so to speak. But hey, if it doesn't make sense to you, 🤷🏾‍♀️I think you're thinking too literally

[@tiabodewig8012]

I’m having my two little brothers walk me down they are both in the military so they will be in their uniform, I see it more as to have someone by your side to help your nerves as you walk down the isle, I get anxiety easily when all eyes are on me so I know I’ll definitely feel more comfortable having someone get me down that isle

[@feychildtarot355]

Dad is giving me away. We're actually doing a bit more traditional route.

[@platesweightspeaks]

I'm viewing my dad walking me down the aisle as more of escorting me rather than giving me away. I wouldn't have met my fiancé if not for my dad and his love of gaming so its very fitting that he be part of the ceremony. But I am my own person and dont belong to either my dad or my fiancé lol!!

[@hannahsmiraculoustextingstorys]

My father passed away back in August of 2023 and while I’m not getting married anytime soon I am still pretty upset about the fact that I won’t have that moment with my parents when they walk me down the aisle and while I will still have my mom to walk me down the aisle it is still heartbreaking the my father’s won’t be there.

[@ashleyharley1872]

I have my first wedding as a day of coordinator and I am nervous, any tips?!!!!

[@kristenmollner4910]

I'm really uncomfortable with the concept of being given away. I've been a fiercely independent person from a young age and have done most things in my life alone. Plus I'm going to be 33 when we get married next year, so I feel weird being escorted down the aisle as a full grown woman. On top of that... I have my bio dad and my stepdad - my stepdad raised me and there's some tension there from that. I'd rather walk alone rather than have two men walk me down and trying to juggle my dress, my shoes, my bouquet and also worrying about them not liking each other. It's just too much lol.

[@misslyntheena]

Any ideas of what to talk about when there is no cute „this is how they met“ story bc the couple met on tinder 😭😂

[@BreMue]

If i was still living with my parents i might appreciate being "given away" but im a grown ass woman who's been on my own for long enough to where it doesnt feel right to me, but i think when i was younger i might have wanted it more since i was very close with my dad

[@ashleyprice9487]

Thank you for this video my mom is giving me away since my father isn’t my life

[@abigaylegeisel]

My father in law is going to do mine. It could really go wrong. (He's a pastor so he's done it before lol)

[@misslyntheena]

My parents are very religious and it’s extremely important to them but me and my siblings (except for two) aren’t Christian anymore. I believe in God and the universe and all that jazz but I don’t want a Christian ceremony and my partner is the same. I know for a fact that my parents will be mad/sad/disappointed and would most definitely voice that opinion as soon as they get the chance to. Any ideas on how to handle this situation? I know it will be my wedding, not theirs but I don’t want to risk them getting negative on my wedding day

[@juliart9479]

Being “given away” isn’t for me, personally. I feel like, as irrelevant as the history of it is today, I still probably would be thinking about it the whole time.

[@salamanda11]

Same. I know some people like it, but I can’t get over the background of fathers passing ownership of their daughters to the husbands. My husband and I walked into the ceremony together!

[@hieronymusboschful]

Personally I hate the imagery of it, but I understand why it means a lot to some women, especially if they’re young.

[@herlarayad78]

I love you ❤

[@Theempressbre]

I had a mini wedding at my dad house and I didn’t want him to walk me down and give me away I wanted my stepdad. My family side made it more stressful his mom was mad because she missed everyone walking down exactly me😢 I got all the heat and I was up all day and night the day before and I did all the food. I can’t wait to redo our wedding phi forgot my officiate aka my aunt left because my fiancé for get to get the wedding certificate.

[@erindahlvig]

Was given away by my dad at my 1st wedding and aside from living in dorms I was moving from my parents' house directly in with my husband. Definitely won't be given away at my 2nd wedding because I'm walking freely into a partnership of equals.

[@antoninapiast5993]

I personally would find being given away disturbing and not right. First of all I formed union with my partner long before the ceremony of marriage, and second - I am my own person and don’t belong to my parents. HOWEVER, if a person wants to be given away I’m nothing but happy for them, what gives ick to me might be someone’s way to connect with parents!

[@kimberlyschveder6861]

First

[@yaiyasmin]

Being given away originates in ownership of the woman so definitely not a fan of that personally

[@simonneslezak4540]

Totally I don't want my fiancee to go out shine with his vows because he's quite the talker

[@tracyjones4180]

I got to come back for another comment. This is so baddddd! You're an absolute stress to listen to!

[@tracyjones4180]

Why in the hell do you planners speek as if you are on speed! Damn, just watching you is stressful!