How To Rebuild A Relationship After An AFFAIR !!

[@iamfelixp]

For me, maybe it's just me. I don't tolerate cheating, and I'm very ruthless for stuff like this. I kicked my friends out the minute I found out that they cheated in their partners. So nope, no mercy for me.

[@hspinnovators5516]

All employers should do this as well. A cheater at home is a cheater at work (higher up positions)

[@sakutaro3musik486]

there is no coming back after trust was broken, there is no excuse for cheating

[@jonrazo7912]

Reading through the comments, I think this might prove to be a controversial video :) Myself, I don't think I could ever forgive cheating. I would never be able to trust my partner again. I don't think I could ever respect myself if someone cheated on me and I forgave them. It just feels so weak.

[@steveb8269]

I don't believe she ever would but if my significant other stepped out, it would be, with absolutely no exceptions, game over for the relationship....been there before in previous relationship and forgave them, only for the ex to slowly slip back into her old behaviours of deceit...

[@charleneg.4053]

Wow, my husband cheated on me and he’s been doing everything you said positive for 4 months now. But what if it was not the first time he’s cheated in our 20 years of marriage? I do see a change like never before (I’m actually blown away at all he’s done, it’s like he listens to every video I’ve seen and makes the changes), but I’m afraid once temptation comes around again he’ll forget all of what he’s done to be a better husband. I feel like it’s kind of easy when you’re trying to get it all back initially? Maybe the change that we’ve both went through will keep him from being vulnerable in the first place? I really think he finally thought I don’t want to be this person anymore and he seen how bad it hurt me mentally, emotionally, and even physically this time. I think at the end of the day you have to really just want to change for yourself and that’s where he’s at. It’s just so hard to think he can keep it up for years to come after he’s already shown what he’s capable of.

[@PassionateSpirit88]

The cheater will always have an excuse for if they cheat again they can justify it and say we'll you should have known better since I cheated on you before. This can also make the cheater feel better about it.

[@Itsnicolegold]

I found out 10 days ago that my partner of 6 years has been seeing someone else for the past 6 months he’s been on a self destructive mission in every aspect of his life….our relationship was shit prior we was both very distant from each other…. However since his confession 10 days ago as painful as it was/is we have spoken to each other more in the past few days then we have in years and strangely we are getting on and feel like we’re loving and understanding each other more now and are both committed to fixing our relationship your videos are really helping both of us on a mad journey of self discovery

[@AttachmentAdam]

I'm sorry to hear what you've been through, but it's great that you're both still committed to fixing your relationship. If you need further support or have specific questions, feel free to reach out to me at [e-mail]. I'm glad the videos are helping you both!

[@Detour-2002]

I think happen, because both parties are very comfortable with each other, and are bored with the love life and also not being appreciated

[@danladd4764]

An affair is the absolute death of a relationship. And should never even try to fix it after wards

[@AttachmentAdam]

Some people will definitely feel this way. Others are willing to fix it under certain circumstances, and the research on what happens is fascinating.

[@timothysturgess5985]

it's not worth it, it dosent matter what kind of " repair" is done, the betrayed will always have triggers, will always have that doubt pop onto their head at least once a day, it can't be helped, or controlled, there will always be an air of sadness, resentment, grief, and even worse, they way you see your self. knowing that you stayed with someone who betrayed you, makes you see yourself differently, and it's always towards the negative. staying results in a deep seeded loss of respect for yourself. sure they can work, and seem to be better, but the betrayed will never see themselves like they did before they knew they were cheated on. it's how the mind works.

[@ItsAngieFly]

@@timothysturgess5985not true.

[@katarzynab.5210]

Thank you, it is very helpful for a lot people ❤

[@thegreengatsby9803]

Adam, how do you know once your attachment issue is fixed?

[@AttachmentAdam]

Great question. Measure your ability to be open and transparent with others during conflicts, how well you've cleaned out toxic people while drawing in healthy people, and look at the quality of your relationships.

[@thegreengatsby9803]

@@AttachmentAdam thank you adam! I’ll be making note of this

[@goodnessisitsownreward1664]

Thank you.

[@TheElectron504]

What about accountability? Is paternity something a man should take into consideration. Should a man be able to commit a financial abortion if his child isn't his.

[@justinhamic2902]

Hey Adam. I would really like to work with you on this please

[@JollaP1]

I am in a similar position. Before we got marrried, my wife was sexting an ex of hers for god knows how long and only told me when he threatened to semd me the pics she sent him. I was thinking of my daughter and forgave her. We bought a house and its been stressful since we moved just before covid. Weve had battles like all couples do but shed been threatening to end the relationship and move on. She kissed a guy and came home gloating about it but said it was my fault. According to her we were finished in the summer of 22 and she was even seeing this guy and going to his house. I met someone and started seeing her which is now being classed as an affair. Im lost and dont know what to do. Its a small town too and some people are quite nosey and shes making it well aware of what i did but keeping her past very quiet. Weve 2 kids and I dont want to effect them but i have to think of myself too.

[@Stukkeman]

That’s really rough. Doesn’t sound like she’s taking responsibility for her actions. I’d suggest the ‘I slept with someone and it’s your fault’ may be a form of gaslighting, blame shifting, and abuse. Also sounds like you’re possibly being subject to a smear campaign. Might be worth educating yourself on or seeing someone who is a specialist on narcissism. I’d suggest too that your kids are already being affected…

[@JollaP1]

@Stukkeman I just don't know what to believe. This is the same guy she started seeing before but it fell apart apparently but now it's back on. I don't know if she's testing to get a reaction out of me or not. Definitely a smear campaign going on. She always denied anything happened and it was only a kiss that he instigated. But it'd quite ironic that the guy everyone thought there was something going on with is the guy she's now moving on with.

[@Stukkeman]

@@JollaP1 Yeah, I get the confusion. That’s why I think informed support is so important… really important to work with someone familiar with cluster-B personality styles. I’d suggest too whether she’s ‘testing’ is possibly not the best way of looking at it, as it’s kind of irrelevant and we can’t know someone’s intent. We can know their actions. We need to look at their actions and respond accordingly. Anyone saying you’re the cause of their infidelity (their action that denies responsibility for their own action) is not just a red flag, but a squad of red sirens. Some personality styles will blame others for their own abusive and inexcusable actions, and because it’s said with such convincing vehemence, and because we assume they’re a ‘reasonable person’ and we assume they have some validity, we get confused. Once confused we’re snared. If I may, it might be worth taking a look at channels by Dr Ramani, Les Carter.

[@Itsnicolegold]

I want to work with you

[@AttachmentAdam]

Thank you for your interest! Please reach out via [e-mail] or visit adamlanesmith.com to explore how we can work together. I look forward to connecting with you!

[@amycrandell]

Bad marriages don't cause affairs. Usually only one person is unfaithful and both people are on the same relationship. Also, please stop saying this can be the best thing that ever happened to your relationship if you've never been through it.

[@jessiesheldon-huffey1824]

Exactly, unless Adam has been betrayed sexually by his spouse, he has no credibility to make this statement.

[@TheElectron504]

I respectfully disagree with this video.

[@AttachmentAdam]

Sure. Why?

[@TheElectron504]

@@AttachmentAdam I like your perspective, but what about accountability and consequences. Say a man or woman gets cheated on. Do they have a right to end the relationship and seek a new partner.

[@mario8694]

❤

[@arminxvs3372]

Don't really know if that should be fixed. Once cheated is a dead-end. Issues etc are just excuses to fool your "beloved one". No honesty, no transparence, no "fixing BEFORE it happens" and now we should forgive and work on it? I dunno...

[@AttachmentAdam]

This is definitely not the pathway for every couple, for sure. Sometimes the trust was broken in such a way that the wounded partner cannot trust them again. But for those couples who do choose to repair the connection and where both do their full necessary work to become more loving and trustworthy partners for each other, many couples report increased satisfaction together even moreso than before the affair. It's all in whether or not they're truly willing to fix the problems that were there.

[@richerDiLefto]

Sorry, but once my SO cheats I’m DONE. Once a cheater *always* a cheater, and the stakes of keeping such a person around are far too high. I don’t want the chance of getting an STD or finding out about an affair baby of his he needs to support, plus I would NEVER trust him again.

[@AttachmentAdam]

Cheating almost always creates a dent. It could show up as low self-worth, trust issues, or even anger issues. Working to to heal this wound is important for your relationship with yourself as well as with others, don't you agree?