How to Repair a Sexless Marriage | Sex and Relationship Coach | Caitlin V

If you find yourself stuck in a sexless marriage or relationship, there ARE answers for you. You don't have to break up. You don't have to break your integrity by straying. In fact, a sexless relationship can happen to anyone. It can happen to the happiest, healthiest, most radiant couples. And it can happen for a number of reasons. That's why, in today's video, I'm going to talk about what sexlessness is, why it's such a big deal, and my 7-point solution for building a spicy, sizzlin' sex life with the one you love.Because I don't care how old you are, how many kids you have or don't have, what kind of relationship you have, or what major life change lead you to these sexless shores... you CAN restore happiness and bring sexy back. 🏋🏻Apply for 1:1 coaching🏋🏻
www.caitlinvneal.com/coaching...
_______________________________________________________
✅ WATCH THESE VIDEOS NEXT
👀 I tell you the secret thrusting techniques that will drive her WILD - • How Does She Want You ...
👀I teach you how to give a MINDBLOWING pussy massage 😽
• How to give a Yoni Mas...
👀 I show you the trick to get a bigger 🍆 naturally
• Proven ways to increas...
👀The secrets to enjoying 69 💦
• Everyone's favorite nu...
________________________________________________________
⏩Overcome Erectile Dysfunction with HARD AS YOU WANT 🍆
www.caitlinvneal.com/hard-as-...
🆓FREE GUIDE - Three Techniques to Drive Her Wild TONIGHT 🆓
www.caitlinvneal.com/freeguid...
________________________________________________________
0:00 Introduction
0:03 SEXLESS MARRIAGE
1:34 WHAT IS SEXLESSNESS
1:39 IN 5 COUPLES EXPERIENCE SEXLESSNESS
4:51 NO ONE'S FAULT
5:25 A CHILD IS BORN
5:38 HORMONE CHANGE
5:41 PHYSICAL INJURY
6:20 MONOGAMY
7:43 YOU NEED A COACH
9:25 POINTS TO END SEXLESSNESS IN A PARTNERSHIP
9:31 1. PROCESS YOUR EMOTIONS
10:42 COMMUNICATE
12:43 LOOK FOR UNDERLYING CAUSES
12:49 WAS SEX NEVER GOOD?
13:04 GRIEF
13:07 FOOD / DIET
13:25 GET PROFESSIONAL HELP
13:57 SET UP A PLAN
14:06 DEFINE SEX FOR BOTH OF YOU
14:39 PRIORITIZE IT
14:50 ADDRESS OTHER FACTORS
15:41 THINK CREATIVELY ABOUT WHAT'S POSSIBLE
17:27 KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAY
19:05 YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL
________________________________________________________
Recommended Products 💦 www.caitlinvneal.com/rec/
🔬Get Tested for STIs, Low Testosterone and More💉
trylgc.com/caitlin 20% off with code Caitlin20
#CaitlinV

[@CaitlinV]

If this resonates with you please apply for coaching at www.caitlinvneal.com/apply/

[@kevinrodirguez2993]

Great Video clip! Excuse me for chiming in, I am interested in your opinion. Have you researched - Neyyan Bananiel Cure (do a google search)? It is a good exclusive product for improving your sexual stamina minus the headache. Ive heard some incredible things about it and my cousin after many years got amazing success with it.

[@shaunfirebird]

Well the only thing different is I'm not married.

[@brettburney3038]

When my girl was pregnant with our daughter she was horny as hell after she had our daughter we had sex a,couple times she wouldn't touch me sexually she found it gross but she didn't mind me touching me or having me going down on her Idk can u answer this for me

[@alleycat5514]

Caitlin V I cant even get my spouse to communicate about the weather how in hell could I get him to watch a video when I can’t even ask for sex ??

[@ronnielargent3600]

My brain is a labyrinth of bad experiences and misinformation. Hope is that piece of cheese at the end. I wouldn't know what to ask to move me forward. I am willing to try to improve my life and others around me but I am totally confused at this point.

[@cranberriesdoodle1450]

It's UNBELIEVABLE how you can truly love someone in every way yet when the reject you whether it's intimacy like kissing or cuddling or sexual, you can feel so HURT that you start to despise the person, it's all downhill from there.

[@Grant80]

Here here.

[@renehollan7695]

So, forcing a man to risk having to support more children is O.K.? Please identify a form of contraception that NEVER fails. Tubal ligation has a 1/300 failure rate, and vasectomy has a 1/4000 failure rate. NOT ZERO. Part of being an adult is restraint.

[@cranberriesdoodle1450]

@@renehollan7695 the point of being with another human is to be free, be yourself, therefore to show physical and sexual restraint in a relationship is counter productive and is doomed.

[@thecrimsonraven707]

@@renehollan7695The poster did not mean just sexual activity but other forms of intimacy and affection as well (hugging, kissing, cuddling, etc)

[@fog99uk]

It only takes so may rejections before you give up trying. Then it doesn't take long before you stop trying with everything else.

[@richardmiseljr2413]

I know exactly what your saying.

[@Veedub112]

Yessss

[@the_answeris6694]

I don't know how many times I heard _"No."_ Hundreds. Maybe more. At some point I just realized that the only way to not hear "No" was to not ask the question in the first place. Marriage is the worst thing a man can do to himself.

[@obstantiadiscindo]

The reality of this comment should taken on board by women. What goes on in the bedroom affects what goes on outside it, and vice versa. A sexless marriage is lose/lose. Don't give up just yet, try to open up communication in general with her. Subtly remind her of the spark you had at the beginning. She was attracted to you then, and women are usually attracted to character traits as much, if not more, than physical traits. Return to being yourself, happy with yourself, just out of her reach. The combination of open, caring communication and yet being a little bit elusive, can have a powerful effect. Of course, this is only if you wish to renew your sex life with her. Good luck x

[@obstantiadiscindo]

@@the_answeris6694 So sorry to read this. So many unhappy, sexless marriages out there. What a waste.

[@melkerner]

After 7-10 years of not even a kiss, it's insurmountable. Just going through the motions - she is completely happy with holding hands and nothing more. Insane to think that can hold a relationship together - she is unwilling to even try.

[@superfast3444]

she just said one day shop closed and I said I'm not begging, two years later still nothing not even a hug, I moved out and now she wants me, so I tried and sorry to say I'm not feeling it for her anymore, so ladies be careful what you wish for you just might get it.

[@leftwingersareweak]

@@whitewolf8458 That is horrible. Hope this is repaired for you.

[@JackFalkenhagen]

Oh I know!!!!!

[@robertwilson1714]

I strongly feel my marriage is sexless because she’s not attracted to me anymore, after 28 years together it feels like we’re roommates. I find myself constantly looking at other women as I know I won’t get it at home. Don’t think it’s fixable but I truly feel we stay together out of fear of starting over.

[@ericaarseth7678]

I couldn't have described my own situation better myself. Not married, but live-in GF for about 15 years or so. We still cuddle in bed sometimes but that's as far as it gets.

[@robertm.-certifieddaytrade4939]

@@ericaarseth7678 Once the sexual polarity starts to decrease, you just want to cuddle! Happens more often than most couples want to admit!!

[@abdalraziq9746]

Sad.... just sad.

[@astrol64]

@Haters Gonna Hate thank you for your perspective. He plays Runescape most of the time. When he's not playing, he's smoking, or sleeping. We do kiss (he makes my knees weak) and hug (nice long ones), so I know he is not repelled by me. For his birthday I even offered a b.j. (I'd even wash him first). He doesn't shower regularly, even his sleep patterns are screwy, preferring to sleep during the day.

[@southernwarrior9302]

Why don’t you start living life? Travel do someone get out and live

[@merc1701]

Over 6 years of constant rejection really puts a lot of stress on everything. Some of us (Me) need to have that intimacy and closeness to feel complete. As it is I feel like a roommate that pays the bills. Appreciated but not truly loved.

[@hansanderson6607]

How do you feel "appreciated", when the SEX is totally gone?? Answer: you AREN'T. Tell "her" to PUT UP or MOVE OUT, or, otherwise, PAY UP on the EXPENSES. EFF THAT situation.

[@manfredschmalbach9023]

Stop immediately to pay any of her bills. Throw her out. Do not live with a Zombie sucking Your energy from You. You're way better off paying someone on a "cash per intimate act"-basis.

[@knobstonestickbows4962]

Same

[@thefelper.7181]

Welcome to the Club. Same, same.

[@E.L.RipleyAtNostromo]

Same here, but 35 years, groveling and begging her 3-4 times a week. More decades ago. After 6 or 7 thousand times being rejected, you don’t even ask anymore, you’re permanently damaged. 6 years? Get out now. She’ll never change. Leave her frigid selfish a$$, find yourself a real woman. I wish I had.

[@michaeljohnson-on6nl]

i've lived this pain for almost 20 years. it doesn't change. It just hurts. move on or live with it is the only real options that happen. I feel this is a big reason why Divorce is so high everywhere.

[@user-fw1wd2gb1w]

No, it does not change She is asexual. Google the word and read the definition. Take one of the tests for her. It may answer everything.

[@robertm.-certifieddaytrade4939]

It’s more than 20 percent of the population having this problem! More like close to 50 percent if people were really honest! Often, sex is awesome while your dating, but once you live together, with familiarity comes less sexual polarity. Eventually you just co-habitat as best friends!!

[@johnboy6594]

Sounds accurate.

[@abdalraziq9746]

Not even as best friends. More like passerby.

[@alia957]

That's the bitter truth about marriage

[@steveluke4779]

More than 30 years and no discussion .

[@ralfj.1740]

That's exactly what I experienced

[@albertusmagnus7239]

Both partners have to be on board for these solutions to have a chance to work. My 17-year marriage had sexlessness for the last 3-4 years, and my ex never went to therapy with me, despite invitations to go. She announced her intention to divorce me about a year ago, then she moved out. You are very right- the rejection really sucks. In the end, I actually felt relief when she announced her leaving. I felt I was finally free to find somebody with a libido.

[@rationalsamrat3247]

Did you find somebody to match your libido.

[@albertusmagnus7239]

@@rationalsamrat3247 No, nothing yet. I am disabled right now, not a good catch until I get a few things fixed, and heal from the divorce. I think I may have a few options once I am ready.

[@rationalsamrat3247]

@@albertusmagnus7239 heal and go have fun . You deserve it

[@thefelper.7181]

Amazing how many people are there with the exact same issue. I have no doubt that it comes from certain particular traits of some women, that science still (or maybe never will) hasn't figured out. Your original post is already old, so I hope you are feeling better now. Hope you found someone who cared for you, or at least you just feel better. You are not alone in a sense, a lot of us understand you. Good luck.

[@saltcreekammo]

There is nothing more mentally and emotionally damaging to a man than rejecting him sexually, especially when all his mental and emotional effort goes into pleasing her whenever she wants... there is only so much rejection you can take before you give up. 7 years and 2 kids and it’s maybe once every 2 weeks or once a month. That’s not enough for any man of any age.

[@richardpickersgill3434]

Man you're lucky, I have a dim memory of those stats, it drops to maybe twice a year and then nothing. I honestly gave up because of the rejection, you're right, very damaging.Thank god for porn.

[@michaeljohnson-on6nl]

??? talk to me when its once in 16 years. no hugs, kisses or physical contact outside of rubbing her back. I'd take your spot any day, but i get what your saying.

[@dendanskehelt4296]

If all his mental and emotional efforts goes into pleasing her, that's the issue. Become your own man, and give her the gift of missing you.

[@lavincentnoland8896]

Amen bro

[@LightningKing91]

This is so true on so many levels. Glad to see I'm not the only guy dealing with this

[@saradarh1985]

35 years of marriage. 9 years living as roommates. No sexual relationship ar all. I'm done. Refuse to live in a sexless marriage.

[@BloodyHeck]

I'm on my third marriage and they've all fit the definition of sexless from day one, usually every 2 or 3 months at best. In my experience, there is no repairing or coming back from it. A woman often marries to have a man who has a good job, is responsible, and can take care of her. Absolutely not because she's incredibly sexually turned on by him. Women are usually only turned on by the hot bad-boy who isn't going to give her a serious relationship or marriage. So basically you're the guy who provides her with a home and pays the bills. The guy she has sex with is the random dude she meets while having a girls night out or girls trip to Vegas. YOU need to be the responsible person who EARNS sex from her. The other guy just has to buy her a drink at the bar and she'll go wild with him and do things you'd NEVER be allowed to do. Women generally don't share or try to live out their sexual fantasies with the man they're married to because she has to live with him and she doesn't want him looking at her knowing she wants a man to shove her up against the wall and screw her, throw her on the bed and choke her or just shove it in certain holes. No. You get told that a woman needs to be romanced and that sex only comes after an evening of wining and dining, roses and jewelry. The one night stand is the one who is told to just grab her, be rough with her and she'll gladly get on her knees and go down on him.

[@JMPCARREPAIRS]

Sad but true for many .. seems like that behavior is an American woman thing maybe a foreign mate would be better

[@stephenberry3012]

She says it's not that important, and makes me feel bad for wanting it then I feel imbarrassed for even bringing it up .

[@barrybleich3455]

I've been married 23 years after we were married and had kids it slowly stopped she would say Monday's will be our day when the kids are in school Mondays never happened too much maybe twice a school year now it's been a year and 3 months last time we tried was on my birthday a year ago she said hurry up and finish she's not into it that just wrecked the mood and now I just don't want to have sex with her I think once the kids are out of the house I might move on can't even communicate with her.

[@richeyrich2203]

@@rationalsamrat3247 clearly

[@abdalraziq9746]

Your embarrassment is the intended Pavlovian Response.

[@HistoritorJimaldus]

@@barrybleich3455 check out Dad Starting Over

[@edwhatshisname3562]

Yeah.. "it's not that important" _to her_ but the fact that it's important _to you_ should at least mean something to her.. if she really loved you at all that is. If one can not do what is necessary to keep a pet then one should not keep a pet, it is selfish and cruel to keep something when you can not or do not care to provide it with what it needs to be happy and healthy.

[@danmezydlo825]

I've been watching your videos for only a few months and starting to see a beneficial change in my relationship with my wife. Thank you so much for putting out such hood advice.

[@toddrushing9780]

The thing that you failed to touch on is the resentment that a sexless relationship brings. I was forced into a sexless marriage by my spouse, and I resent her for it. I was not given a choice or input into the subject. She is the type that emotion is necessary for her to open up, but unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be enough emotion in the world for her to open up, and I will admit that the resentment over time has forced me to re-evaluate how much emotional commitment I am willing to invest knowing that I will reap none of the reward.

[@CaitlinV]

That's really tough Todd, thank you for commenting and my heart goes out to you and her.

[@Cardinal8487]

I agree with Todd. And somehow it’s painted as my fault and you’re now paying the price; yet she won’t nor does she want to talk about her role and behavior. But still wants me to beg and show affection. I’m willing to do my 50%.

[@user-fw1wd2gb1w]

She may be asexual. Google the word and read the definition. Scroll down and take a test for yourself and then again for her. It may answer everything. Good luck.

[@KNickole]

Forced? Get a divorce and open up to someone who will in the same.

[@pinkahboo925]

Forced? Who controlled you to stay?

[@SeiferGunshin]

I have been having these problems with myself and with my partner over the last year and was having a hard time just identifing, well all of it. And this video singlehandedly addressed not only how I have been feeling, why I am feeling that why. Coming to that conclusion I really like how you go about approaching the path forward because I had been denying these facts because I didn't want to hurt my partner addressing these issue but now I see that they do not have to be the root of the problem but a partner in solving this problem.

[@Kv-pk2st]

Thank you. I had to set a date, it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Your video helped to validate my efforts. In turn reassure me that I am not worthless.

[@pleasesubscribe127]

I really appreciated this video! So much insight from a smart and beautiful young lady! Keep them coming 👍🏽

[@carlosmontenegro6835]

Timely topic. Thank you for sharing and for the wonderful advice. You are the best, Caitlin!

[@keithbirchall4106]

Having a spouse who has used sex as a weapon, as I found that when I became totally Indifferent to her manipulation. And stopped reacting to her game. To the point of rejecting her.. That she wanted to know why. I'm just waiting for the Kids to Finnish uni. The I'm gone.

[@obstantiadiscindo]

I'm so saddened to read this. Sex is a normal expression of lust, desire and loving feelings...it's the glue in a marriage, the point of closest connection - it should never be a weapon or a bartering tool. Rejecting her is a good strategy to make her think a bit, but meanwhile your life is passing by.

[@jaquevius]

Yep. I became indifferent 6 mo ago. She hasn’t asked why and I don’t even care anymore. 5 more years until kids leave for college.

[@doyourbest7655]

Don’t wait! You will regret waiting,life is short.

[@jaquevius]

@@doyourbest7655 yes it is, but for me personally living without waking up and seeing my kids every day wouldn't be a life worth living. If things dont significantly change by the time they leave for college, I will make changes then.

[@keithbirchall4106]

@Jacob McPhsx my physique is not a problem. I've been an athlete for my whole life. I still train 4-5days a week. I'm a lean 6'2. 240 lb.

[@endcensorship874]

Had five years, yes FIVE YEARS, of no sex... then we unlocked the secret (communication, and willingness for us BOTH to figure it out) and now? We're in such a better space... about once to twice a week.

[@thefelper.7181]

That's because she wanted to cooperate.

[@scottylynn7103]

Had my own (solitary) bedroom for 3 out of 7 years I was "married". Thought I was doing the right thing by staying with her, because we had kids together, but I was wrong. When I realized sex was something that she thought should be a reward for me doing what she wanted, I should have left immediately. Instead I wasted 4 years thinking it would change if I loved her enough... I was wrong! I was talking to/about to hook up with a stripper immediately before I met my ex... I definitely made the wrong choice

[@whiskeytangofoxtrot5628]

YOU. ARE. ON. POINT! Excellent video! Thank you so much!

[@hokisazchka]

Wife - noun: A woman who won’t have sex with you, but who would consider it the ultimate betrayal if you had sex with anyone else.

[@manfredschmalbach9023]

.... and subsequently will strip You of most of what You worked for Your whole life with the help of the sinister lady-judge in the divorce-court ....

[@jeffreysimchak6518]

Considers it cheating, if you look in the direction of another woman.

[@ibewcountry]

Would not have agreed with you.....until I lived it. Signed TS Dave. Terribly Sad. Used to be Terribly Sexy, but I changed.

[@manfredschmalbach9023]

@@ibewcountry That does need some more explanation, doesn't it? What perspective do You come from, and what did You change?

[@rleon8183]

@@manfredschmalbach9023 Yeah, you got that right. It's the reason why men won't get married anymore, because we know all the rules are against men. Like, what's the point in getting married when the wife becomes lazy and incredibly selfish spendaholic to ultimately take away the MAN's hard earned money? None. The Risk is too great for the little return. It's way cheaper to pay a prostitute. It's way cheaper and better to adopt a child than it is to create one from scratch. And best of all, men keep all their money and they can go out with the guys when ever they want!

[@jenniferraymus9031]

Lol! Even slowed the playback speed to read all the “reasons”! You’re so funny! 🤣 But also SO right! I wish I would have known about you years ago, when I experienced this in my marriage. Fortunately we made it through that, and many other difficult situations, to 15 years and still going. Working at it every day!

[@abdalraziq9746]

Sad.

[@alexmckinley79]

Holy crap. I watched your video an hour ago. I was very skeptical, but just tried your first point, and my wife gave me a hug, and we both started a proper dialogue. Thank you so much!

[@CaitlinV]

holy hell that's awesome! Love to hear it!!

[@propbender2]

EXCELLENT Message Caitlin. Thanks much!...

[@kenng4635]

Ure a very natural n spontaneous speaker, Caitlin 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@busy_b22]

"You stub your toes The walls are a weird color You smell She smells The dog smells It's too hot out It's too cold in Do people read these? Leave a comment if so You wanna watch a movie A movie about space And fatherhood And wormholes" Yes I read it. I think and feel that your content is GENIUS‼️ This particular video resonates with me because I just got done with 3 months of no sex in my marriage. It hurt, and I felt so alone. I get rejected so much. On one hand, I understand. But, on the other she is the only person in this world that I choose to give my heart and body to. So the analogy you shared about Monopoly was scripture 💯 Thank you for being empathetic to others and showing that, even as the coach, life is hard no matter who you are. I am subscribed with my notification bell on "ALL". I appreciate the time and dedication that you put into these videos. Thank you. Much love from Va Beach 💖

[@jean-claudeprovost7047]

Great insight! I love your videos, the way you share your knowledge (approach), your energy and your sense of humour....well done and keep up the good work! The fact that you are "slightly" more pleasant to look at than Dr. Ruth doesn't't hurt either, just saying!! :)

[@frankslusher2236]

I read all the comments. I really enjoy your advice and information, keep it coming.

[@David-ho6mu]

The hints on starting that conversation were good. That is a topic in itself. Every attempt I have made at raising the subject is rejected in and of itself, leave aside the ACTUAL issue. The rejection of even commencing the discussion is a catalogue of abuse and how not to treat the man who loves you and sticks by you.

[@HEADHUNTERSTUDIOS]

I absolutely love Caitlin V and her advice! Thank you so much for all of your information!

[@jeremesmith9266]

Thanks for this. Struggling with this for years as the High Interest partner, and it’s everything I can do to not stray.

[@chriswilkinson7636]

I think a sexless marriage sounds great. I would love one.

[@pinkahboo925]

You're telling me you don't seek out others online?

[@BK-Actual]

Outstanding advice and point of view.... Thank You So Much! -B

[@MrT-uo1ss]

I had no choice but to phone a friend. Actually it was her friend.

[@jesserichard1975]

Hi Caitlin, yet another poignant and impactful video! Some take aways that are worth repeating for us, your viewers, that I love and that were things I struggled with and got coached on at HPM (🙏🏽) : 1. Own your own sexuality and desire! Not your partners responsibility, it’s yours. 2. Get help figuring out #1 and COMMUNICATING with your partner about yours/theirs. I really love the point that finding sexual fulfillment inside/outside of your relationship = a fulfilled and loving partner/relationship because it is based on communication.

[@pinkahboo925]

Omg this

[@johnculz8854]

Men if you want sex don't get married. I once had a friend with benefits I would go to her place or she would come to my place a few times a week , this went on for three years , she had other men and I was dating other women and both of us knew what the other was doing. Happy memories

[@leftwingersareweak]

@John Culz that's no way to live your life.

[@pinkahboo925]

Men, if you want sex then be intimate with us. Be safe and trustworthy and don't make the foundation of the relationship sex

[@odedil87]

Of course we read these. Awesome editing as usual, btw.

[@edhendrix6848]

Thank you Caitlin, This really opens my eyes. Ik can see where I went wrong in my communication with my partner. I or better we can work with this!!! Greetz Ed

[@bab777734]

Thanks for the video this is exactly what I'm going through

[@johnnyblaze4053]

I wish I saw this video years ago but I'm glad it's available to help someone else. You are phenomenal and a rare find in this world of I want it now🙇🏿‍♂️.

[@CaitlinV]

Thanks Johnny I'm glad you liked it ;)

[@scorpian6013]

My living partner for 11 years is going sexless now. I need to switch over to another younger partner.

[@waltere.colliejr.ed.d.2892]

Great video! I am experiencing this right now!

[@SteveJohnsonPHANTOM1984]

Been married for 35 years and the wife hasn't allowed me to even have any affection in over 20 years. She says that its my fault that im not doing for her emotionally how she needs so I work on that. and I go months doing better things seem to be going better and its like a light switch goes off in her head and she intentionally starts an argument and things go back to the way it was again. Im getting tired of it.

[@korierejoyce]

@caitlinv Thank you for laying out the steps. I need to approach my husband about wanting sex in a more emotionally mature way. I've asked, joked, accused, but that leads us to stop communicating and start avoiding the conversation. He'll do about anything to not have sex: work, youtube, lawn, and even starting spats or getting on to the children just to stir up some negativity. I see a lot of men commenting and can relate, but very few women. And that seems to be the case with any women friends I've talked to about this. So because I'm a woman in this situation, I feel ashamed. I feel I shouldn't want sex or be so sad about not. I feel like that makes me bad in some kind of way. Basically I feel guilty. And that just compounds the sadness and feelings of rejection and inadequacy.

[@boydguie8129]

South east PA. Here.,😃

[@steveTGO]

Never except the selfishness of a partner being a fault of yours. I get, I have the same issue at home, but, I am not going to own it!

[@robertfisher2844]

Hi Korie please don't feel sad or bad I'm.sure you are probably far from that .some times we have needs and we would hope that wifes and husbands would fulfill our needs don't feel ashamed you want to be loved which your partner should be giving you .I think everyone turn to there friends some times they give the right advice you want to hear other times it's not then things get mixed up hopefully he will realise that your all his ever wanted and life will be back to normal again perhaps work pressure is getting to him or he has something worrying him which we all are guilty of and keep it to our selfs .

[@antoinelyons5323]

I can relate to you

[@kennethfharkin]

While the partner being denied sex is typically the man, as it was in my marriage for several years before we repaired our relationship, it is certainly not always so. I have heard from my wife of similar problems with a friend. Generally we men aren't that hard to figure out; "Sex?" "Yes please!" This makes it far more difficult to understand when it is the male partner who is failing to engage. You should absolutely NOT feel guilty or ashamed about wanting sex. You should also ignore the jackasses most likely responding to your honest post with hook up requests. We came back from three years of no sex and at least four of bad/minimal sex because we both began to speak openly and were committed to it. I know of one friend whose marriage was unable to recover because he simply wouldn't touch her. It took her being blackout drunk for him to have sex with her the time they conceived. In the end their relationship ended and the woman he is with is best described as... handsome. The other woman I know of going through this is at least at the stage where they are talking and he seems to be engaging. As a man I can imagine feelings in insecurity tied to financial status may play into it or perhaps a degree of boredom with what you had been enjoying. He also very well may have a medical/psychological issue tied to performance which he is really hesitant to discuss. The bottom line is you need to lay it out on the table. You will not live out your life in a sexless marriage. If you love your partner then tell them you love them and want to fix this situation but love is NOT enough, there must be intimacy and a sex life together. If they cannot commit to that with you then they are not committed to the marriage. You both must communicate though and not with accusations or or attacks. As soon as the knives come out it is time to adjourn.

[@shaneharrison4775]

Honestly I'm done being the good husband who's always there for what ever she needs and I feel I'm being taken advantage of and I'm receiving no anything this isnt a partnership this is me bareing the entire load and trying to be happy about it . I'm done being mr.nice guy and all I have is me myself and I and she wants no part of me

[@pinkahboo925]

You're treating sex as transactional, that's an intimacy killer

[@shaneharrison4775]

@@pinkahboo925 that's hilarious I'm treating it like what it is if she dont care to handle her half the lumber in the mill she can expect no payments to be made you copy that clear enough transactional your but bilges canal water

[@pinkahboo925]

@@shaneharrison4775 then good for her not having sex with you. It's the most loving thing she can do for herself, you're not safe.

[@shaneharrison4775]

@@pinkahboo925 more so good for me because it wasnt as good as she thought it was

[@jlfiii2006]

I wish we had this video before she passed. Years of unnecessary frustration. Thank you for making this available to others who still have a chance.

[@tomlee7956]

Count your blessings...

[@melkerner]

Sometimes it's no discussion, just a decision made by one side that offers nothing for the other person in the relationship

[@mattdiaz9360]

Well Caitlin I feel like I have just enrolled in a Master's program!'And I will progress to the PHD LEVEL!

[@tonyjones1560]

Now, how I got here from videos about mob hits, I have no clue. However, this was so informative, it's insane! It helps that you're so *pretty,* Caitlin V!

[@abdalraziq9746]

Marriages are Mob Hits.

[@calvinlandry03]

Lol......

[@tonyjones1560]

@@abdalraziq9746 You could be correct...but I haven't been fitted with cement gym clothes and thrown in the bay to swim laps *yet*

[@user-go2pk6qg4w]

I’m impressed with how you’re speaking about this… it’s a subject that mostcan’t say or talk about… This is great… all people should be able to learn about in our lives… !!! At what time to start learning??? I was seduced at the age of 12… by a 21 year old woman… learned a lot from my life that was so new to me that most my age never had a time to have.. made me know right away that I was used… understandably gave me knowing what the other person “ woman “ what is on her mind and what’s to be expected for her… All in all it gave me an amazing time with having a positive experience with my experience at the younger age… Thank you… whatever you’re doing… keep doing it… cause it’s working…!!! 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼

[@jackbrown340]

Omg! I think your talking directly to me!

[@randydavis6604]

I was in a sexless marriage and I can say over years it completely destroyed my self esteeme, self dignity, sexual confidence and self worth. I was told by my ex-wife it was my fault fundamentally and I took that to therapy and they treated me as though it was my fault so heavy guilt also set it. The story gets long and sordid but what came to light after years of this essentially mental torture was that she had a separate life i never knew about that included not only sexual liasons but long term relationships. When all this came to light I was told the truth and given an ultimatum, I was to remain being a a father and husband but to simply be a care taker of the family but she was going to continue her life or she was going to leave. After pleas and negotiations that failed she left, I have never recovered. I still suffer from everything that has happened and it has been 6 years. So the moral is to all this it that some times you can't go by what your spouse tells you the problem to be and you need to care for yourself.

[@sb_theman_4889]

I never understand why people like her even bother with relationships

[@randydavis6604]

@@sb_theman_4889 She wanted a child, since her first husband could give her one and none of her relationships before wanted children I was "picked" for the family man role. Don't misunderstand I absolutely adore my youngest son I had with her however she made my life slowly over time a living hell.

[@munkeefinkelbeen5395]

Oh wow! I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. You're a tremendous person to still be here after putting up with that torment. I hope things get better for you in your remaining years. Regardless, you're a wonderful human being, and definitely worthy of happiness and love...at least in the mind of this random person on the internet ☺

[@randydavis6604]

@@munkeefinkelbeen5395 Thank you 😊

[@munkeefinkelbeen5395]

@@randydavis6604 you're welcome, sir ☺

[@JeepersCreepers2013]

I went through this in a marriage and in a serious long term relationship. All of my other relationships and other marriage was completely fine. Both of those situations came from the relationship with her father(s). Both saw their fathers using sex as an abusive weapon toward their mothers, so they saw sex as a negative... especially when the relationship became serious. It's crazy how the male relationship with their mother and the female relationship with their father effects a person's overall being. Men can become abusive or worse and women can become resentful or feel abused.

[@digitalbrand2930]

Thank you for talking about this.

[@aevin_io]

The most positive video on the matter

[@mattstuartjr.6888]

I wish I would have found you several years ago. I have been learning much, but for me it may be too little, too late. My girlfriend had a bad liver and passed away 2 years ago. We lived together for about 8 years but never had sex. With her liver problems and I had 5 back surgery's, we both felt sex was out of the question. But she would come out every now and then to sit on my lap or sit tight into me on the couch. It never dawned on me that this was a form of sexual contact. Your videos have been Great for filling me in if another relationship would ever come my way. Thanks.

[@harlocba]

Hey Caitlin, a really interesting video. I liked the concept of monopoly you have mentioned as it makes absolute sense. What about if your partner does not want to speak or discuss sex? How can you resolve this is you cannot start talking or going to a therapist? This is more than monopoly. Glad to have your input. Thanks

[@edmaduzia]

Great advice delivered in a great way

[@stevewithavision]

Great information, thanks

[@deedeeharders9238]

I can relate my dad forced me to have sex with him for years, then I finally told the school counselor and imediately was put into a foster home where the father of the home tried to get some before I went to school If it wasn't for me serious intense therapy I received I would have been very messed up in every way, mental, emotional, spiritual. I have a wonderful patient loving husband of 25 years and yes we are intimate.

[@CaitlinV]

I'm so sorry for what you went through and SO proud that you've managed to overcome. Thank you for commenting and sharing Dee Dee!!!

[@HB-yq8gy]

Wow that's so sad god bless you.

[@kimyoung3484]

Please take care.❤️🌹❤️💪

[@hurleymeier2312]

Dealing with sexless marriage for 48 years. She refuses to talk about it or doing anything. I have tried all approaches an nothing works. Went counseling still no help. Makes me feel worthless. I tried to give more kisses and cuddles but didn't help. She always said that there is more to marriage than sex and has prove it . I now am trying out a massage from a lady with happy ending. I am getting older and still dealing witb the problem . It has been going on for out entire marriage.

[@rationalsamrat3247]

Should have escaped when you reached 6 month mark .sex is the glue of marriage, I think she stopped trying because she felt she didn't need to try in a marriage.

[@hurleymeier2312]

Alittle late for that yep

[@user-fw1wd2gb1w]

She is asexual. Research the word "asexual". It may answer all your questions.

[@sucram1018]

Some women say that as an excuse to not have sex with their man.

[@pinkahboo925]

So you've owned your part in the mess? You've stopped lying? Disrespecting? Intentionally seeking others out? Grown emotionally? Listened to them? Not coerced sex from them?

[@griffingreen6901]

Hey Caitlin thanks for everything you do. Have you thought about a podcast?! I’d love to do a person to person Q and A with you you’ve helped me so much!

[@rudymini12]

Thank you for video. This is whats happening right now 😔

[@nothingnew69]

Heck yes. This one hits home hard. Pun intended.

[@craigguy5756]

I love my wife...mind and sole. But sex 6 times a year is killing me. I had a half arsed fling with disastrous consequences, now after 37 years of marrige, I fear it's over. Our life could have been awesome

[@user-fw1wd2gb1w]

She sounds asexual. Look it up. Take a test for yourself and for her. It may answer everything.

[@craigguy5756]

@@user-fw1wd2gb1w well....here's the thing. After some time apart and some very very hard counseling sessions, and some deep sole searching, (her and me) , we are finally starting to understand each other. Really listening and making time to be together - no kids or grandkids.... Trying to overcome some physical issues she has ( thank child birth for that !! ) we have a great physical realationship ( for our age) and are becoming better and better friends. Life is short. Make it work. Talk....and listen...

[@melkerner]

6 times a year? You are living the dream. Almost 8 years without so much as a kiss. And pretty much nothing more than 1-2 times a year for the 7 years before that. The first 4 years was 3-4 times a week, and before we got married 3-5 times a week. all the kids are adopted, so it's not post-partum. It seems to be the nature of Women in general that use a man after they get him and remove what they deem no longer needed.

[@lavincentnoland8896]

I love this one been with my with for 16 year and your the first to put things in to perspective and now known that this is something common make me feel better about this situation

[@lavincentnoland8896]

I guess my biggest problem now is addressing to situation without getting my head chopped off

[@Stevenbrad392]

I will not beg for it. Not gonna happen. I’ve gone without longer than I care to. But for me I think it’s more about affection, being truly loved and obsessed over and less about a piece.

[@journeymansmitty8283]

Oh wow I'm super late again but I know two guys that are going through this one of them actually is seeing someone outside there marriage maybe I should shop them to this video so they can understand themselves better well it's always and education Miss Caitlin V amazing video🤔😃

[@powang9716]

Feel so frustrated in this marriage. We have kids, house, good jobs.... but I can’t live with this sexless marriage. My wife rejects me every time. I tried many ways like you said, but I wanna give up, now I believe she doesn’t love me a bit. Either end this marriage or my life.

[@pinkahboo925]

I've been there, contemplated leaving so many times

[@geno5169]

I know how you feel

[@thefelper.7181]

Same here. And the worst part: she doesn't care. She won't care. It doesn't matter what you do.

[@akadirnilavane2861]

Useful tips!

[@tombrooks8665]

LOL @ Michael Scott pop up at 8:16. Top tier editing.

[@Chaos.Kraken]

My husband and I have been together for over 7 years. The first half of 2020 was definitely difficult for us emotionally and physically/intimately. We had already been on a decline since our daughter was born in Nov 2017 (I've been struggling with reclaiming my body for myself since giving birth and my libido changed drastically since giving birth as well). But a few months ago things kind of came to a head and we talked some things out and now I feel like we are stronger than ever. We've been experimenting more in bed and trying to spend MORE time in bed. I'm really looking forward to 2021 and our 8th anniversary.

[@nationbuildersuniversity742]

What exactly did you do to revive your sex life. And congratulations on your anniversary!

[@Chaos.Kraken]

@@nationbuildersuniversity742 we made more of an effort to be intimate with each other more often. And started trying new things.

[@geno5169]

I try all the time with my wife after 31 years. I bring a candle to our bedroom for some romance.she too tired or just wants a back rob all the time.then she falls asleep.i get turned on.

[@geno5169]

Congratulations to you both

[@thefelper.7181]

When the woman wants to fix the problem, then basically there's no problem. Because the problem lies, 99,5 % of the time, in some issue the woman has with sex with her partner, either fairly or not, but it's on the woman's side to decide whether there will be sex or not in the vast majority of the cases.

[@EnemyAce88]

How do I pry my wife away from her phone long enough to do any of this?

[@xaviermolloy8724]

At least rent another place show her the rent agreement then say your piece making sure you don't blame her just tell her I am not doing this no more. If you want to remedy the situation come see me with a plan otherwise it is goodbye. This will sort the proble. Out one way or the other. The worst thing a man can do to himself is not take control.

[@powang9716]

Thanks for your video. Thank you. Really need help

[@laerciomabota2117]

Great points.

[@naffan3863]

I’m a woman who always wants intimacy with my husband but he’s constantly tired or it’s a quick thing nothing for me... it’s not like I haven’t said anything to him but he keeps saying I’ll try more or whatever it’s been about 2 years and it’s getting worse.. I’m so sad and crushed does anyone know how this feels? I feel like it’s just me... 20 years together and what a Waste of time

[@savamusement809]

I know how you feel.

[@clemp3010]

I know how you feel. 18 years and I wonder why

[@as1948]

Yes I know how it feels. He keeps saying that he finds me attractive and sexy and that I’m not the problem, and he thinks there’s medical conditions but he’ll put off Doctors appointments because he’s “too scared” for the blood test results to come back, it’s like come on you’re 35, grow the fuck up. I’ve put up with a sexless relationship for so long, sex twice a year max and the ONLY time he has initiated was when he was on drugs. Yeah, I feel real awesome and sexy only getting it when he’s wasted. And twice a year too. I am filled with resentment and every time I hear about “covid babies” and people joke about how couples had tons of sex during 2020 makes me cringe because my partner and I had sex twice last year. I get a lot of attention from men but I just wanted things to work out with my partner. He’s always exhausted from his job because he is a workaholic and when he’s home he’s sleeping or scrolling mindlessly on Facebook. It’s like he prefers Facebook over spending time with me

[@user-fw1wd2gb1w]

He is gay or asexual. I vote asexual. Look it up.

[@antoinelyons5323]

It a nihi

[@spymaster8842]

The only thing of them steps really helped me with is that not being married is the perfect way to go because without that you don't have to deal with all the stupidity of the other person

[@tayam7312]

I like ur angle..from single guy in early fifties...sex is no issue..just the choices

[@pinkahboo925]

You are a literal red flag

[@tom_olofsson]

Yes, we read them.

[@paulhoskins7852]

Excellent video.

[@craiglee2711]

-(Continued from Craigy ), YES miss Caitlin My Unfortunate situation is affecting my Mental Health OR WILL SOON so I gotta resolve this RIDICULOUS SITUATION ASAP! I hope your Coaching doesn’t cost a FORTUNE if Beautiful U can Please HELP ME OUT?! Thanks Babe, PaperLuvvaCraigy XoX 😍❣️👍

[@c.j.9248]

Going on 20 months and going INSANE since I prefer weekly!

[@ABeautfulMess]

Going on 5 yrs...omg it's nuts but since covid we have learned to be friends again..lol

[@c.j.9248]

Like you said, the person with the lower sex drive always DICTATES the stinking sexual intimacy. 🤬🤬🤬🤬

[@c.j.9248]

@@ABeautfulMess so sorry.

[@sherriconklin3637]

I agree lol

[@trish8070]

Our nest is empty as of recently and we’ve been sexless but happy ish for years. Trying to let past issues go and just enjoy. We’ve been reminiscing a lot lately and I’ve been paying way more attention to him. Touching him more. Listening. Laughing at his jokes. Subtly throwing in remember when (good times). We are rekindling our sex lives and I couldn’t be happier.

[@jamesfyffe5679]

And wormholes? Lol. If only it were as easy as wormholes. It’s been three years. We are in therapy but I don’t know that intimacy will ever return. Sex may, but I’m losing hope in the future us. Thanks for your videos. You give great advice. Your confidence is magnetic.

[@markwilliams1892]

The highlight of the video is the “mountable problem” joke. :P

[@robertsteele3353]

Asking for permission to see spouse in a sexual way effects you to the core. EVEN when you try to get a dialogue going. At first I thought it was ME. But after finding caitlin's channel, not only do I realize that it is NOT me, but when alone in house, go around AROUSED at all times.

[@pinkahboo925]

Consent is bad?

[@geno5169]

I know how you feel

[@dwwolf4636]

@@pinkahboo925 completely besides the point.

[@pinkahboo925]

@@dwwolf4636 no its not but thanks for waving your red flag

[@robertherring3341]

Been with my wife for 20 yrs. Married for 16. 12 years ago she said no. That turned into 1-3 times a year. 2 years ago. I told her I love her, but I won't ask again, and haven't. She could care less. At my age, the option is waning. I still love her. Now what?

[@billhillyer334]

If certain criteria is met cancer or a deformety an the passion is there it shouldn't matter an if there's either a deep conversation or a loss of something priceless..

[@Ballpython77]

how can you reject a beautiful, sexy, smart woman like her is beyond me.

[@jenniferbastolla1197]

Am I the only lady on the short end of the stick here? So many men having this problem with their wives etc. I feel like even more of an anomaly. He says I am hot etc, but It is maybe once a year now and I feel so much resentment...and he has refused counseling or even talking about it...

[@ashleymarie9309]

You’re not alone! In the same boat all the way. So emotionally available in every way but when it comes to sex. Nothing. And when it’s time to talk about it, nothing.

[@Bimmer_Bill]

Both you two (Jennifer and Ashley) are not attractive to your husbands for some reason, despite the nice talk saying "you're hot" or whatever. I have a feeling you're different than the person he was initially physically attracted to, in which case time to become that person once again. Unlike my wife, I'm just as physically attractive ten years later and it's because I work my butt off in the gym and take care of myself better than when we got married. While this (looks) may not be as big of an issue with women, it definitely is with men.

[@bbur75]

Well I felt this way thinking only men had trouble, nice to know its not just men experiencing this. I mean its not nice it sux. But to know we aren't alone in the world. I'm a man in good shape too, thats not my problem, and my wife is still hot.

[@jenniferbastolla1197]

@@Bimmer_Bill I am a performing bellydancer who looks 20 years younger than I am. I weigh about 10 pounds less than I did when we got married. I don't think that is the issue. BTW- I notice you did not give this 'helpful' advice to any of the men commenting on this topic. I think you are transferring. I am sorry this is happening in your relationship, but still less than fair to the ladies who already feel like unicorns

[@Bimmer_Bill]

@@jenniferbastolla1197 I’m merely stating a fact. Most men are sexually attracted by looks first and foremost. I’m not saying you’re not in great physical shape. However, it is clear, something has changed it may be simply due to the excitement has worn off which tends to happen in long-standing relationships that do not change dynamics in the bedroom.

[@Neptune730]

Thank you Caitlin. I just subscribed. I need to "try" to get my wife to see this. I have been married for 19 years. Sex went downhill since my 15 yo daughter was born. I would love to speak with privately. On some issues.

[@pharmclare]

Amazing video thanks

[@billh5701]

Your new background is very nice. My sexless relationship is because she pays more attention to her tablet than me. Every time I bring it up it turns into an argument, I've done everything ever asked of me include take care of my health. I would like to look somewhere else but I was never good with women, where would I start?

[@scotttracy9333]

The far East, Thailand or the Philippines. Go to Angels city Philippines or Pattaya Thailand. Get a hotel room and wander out. I'm sure you can disappear for a week from home. Tell her your boss is sending you somewhere. Don't give up hope

[@pinkahboo925]

Did you do it to get something out of it or because you saw it was a good thing?

[@pinkahboo925]

@@scotttracy9333 yes, kill trust in you and be a person who lacks integrity. That will totally help make you a safe person she cam be vulnerable enough to have sex with. Great advice

[@morihno9223]

As soon as we married it was like i got ya..It became more and more less till almost none..There s always an excuse not to..Meanwhile i m ready to xplode..cant leave because of the kids. It s really killing..

[@leedowner2249]

exactly my situation, after marriage I was told "I don't care if we never have sex again" I'm the fool for having our daughter with her, if my daughter was not here I'd leave my wife right now, I literally mean right now I'd be fucking gone

[@omarleslie5299]

Dont get into the marrige and or relationship in the first place. Live your purpose and focus on yourself.

[@lazyturtle668]

great video.....i feel this yearning depressive pain everyday. the only thing keeping me going is my son. i never thought my wife would give up on our sex life. it is real and hurtful, and i would not wish this in my worst enemy......you give me hope though, thanks!

[@lazyturtle668]

*on

[@rationalsamrat3247]

You can still co parent .

[@92xl]

Asian massage parlors, fixes the problem.

[@Bimmer_Bill]

This is totally false for men who have no intimacy in their marriage. Mechanical sex/getting off will not fix the emotional part that comes with making love.

[@92xl]

@@Bimmer_Bill you can't make love with someone who doesn't want it.

[@Bimmer_Bill]

@@92xl that I agree with, but staying in a sexless marriage and thinking prostitutes (who could care less about you) will fix your problems probably ain’t gonna work. The best thing to do in that case, is to leave your unwilling spouse

[@92xl]

@@Bimmer_Bill to each their own, not everybody's moral compass is the same.

[@Bimmer_Bill]

@@92xl I’m not talking about moral compass. I’m talking about satisfaction. I will agree, there are certainly some people who can be fine with a hooker/mechanical sex and a sexless marriage, particularly if the spouse shows love (and just won’t give sex), but for the spouse that acts as a friend only with no affection a hooker probably ain’t going to cut it.

[@kevinmclemore1476]

My lady was a spoiled brat and cheated. She lied for three years trying to cover it up and then just gave up on sex. You cheat and then refuse to restore affections??? Deuces!!!!

[@shannongrayRFK]

Love your hair