How To Set Healthy Boundaries & Get What You Want In Life

How To Set Healthy Boundaries & Get What You Want In Life - Inner Work Library [144/500]

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@jordanthornton 9 ай бұрын

*1-1 Mentorship Information: Price & Structure (Maximum Capacity = 20 Clients Per Year)* It's an absolute pleasure to film these KZbin videos, and I feel fortunate to receive an abundance of meaningful messages every week, but I am unfortunately faced with the disappointing reality of turning away the vast majority of people who want to work together. I have significantly limited availability and can only support twenty people per year because I do not offer one-off calls or drop-in consulting sessions. Twenty individuals might not sound like maximum capacity, but the last few years of teaching have taught me the importance of maintaining tight energetic boundaries if I want to keep uploading these free videos in addition to serving my current clients to the best of my ability in 2024. To minimise confusion and enhance transparency, I've spent several hours writing this ridiculously long comment to help you decide if my Inner Work Mentorship is the right choice for your development & what you could reasonably expect from working closely together. Please take the time to read this service description before contacting me on Instagram… or feel free to stop reading right now if you’re not interested in my fees, session structure, client expectations, etc. ... *READ BEFORE SCROLLING FURTHER:* I'm interested in long-term change and structural transformation, which is why I've never offered one-off sessions. Complex issues cannot be resolved in a few hours, but we likewise need to define an upper limit for containment and collaboration. I've learned that deep and enduring self-integration requires at least four months of immersive effort. Why four months? It's enough weekly contact for us to work through multiple complex issues and developmental possibilities, but short enough to mitigate against unconscious co-dependency and motivational stagnation. I'm currently accepting a maximum of two new clients per month - message me after reading the following section to check my availability. ... *HOW I WORK & WHO I WORK WITH* Unlike other coaches and teachers who take an understandably more relaxed approach to healing and integration, my mentorships are characteristically intense. This is a highly-demanding, high-investment process which requires our consistent combined effort over a period of four months. If we were to start working together, I would reasonably expect you to be excited to show up for a minimum of 10+ hours of self-motivated transformative practice per week (daily reading, fitness routine, creative exercises, spiritual reflection, etc.) while also maintaining full-sobriety (no drink, no drugs, no cigarettes, no vapes). These strict standards of discipline and sobriety are plainly unsuitable for most people in most situations - even genuinely motivated individuals who resonate with my KZbin videos may not be the right match for four months of structured mentorship. If you want to get deeper, I've noticed that there's a certain type of ‘temperament' & 'timing’ to get the most out of me. I'm interested in alert, creative and purpose-driven individuals who aspire to exceptional standards of self-maturation and would enjoy the feeling of going through week-on-week of progressively stacked transformative experiences for a third of a year: my ideal client is somebody who is willing to bring forward their internal complexity with a sense of courage and transparency with the intention of nothing less than full-spectrum transformation & rapid acceleration on their personal path. I am yet to discover another supportive figure who offers something comparable to this mentorship: a four-month, structured yet flexible 1-1 container which is simultaneously therapeutic, academic and action-oriented; with primary focus placed on tangible improvements in your felt sense of self-knowledge and self-integration; in addition to making consistent and meaningful progress towards your unique goals and mentorship aspirations. I prioritise contact, compassion and accountability, which means that your work never really 'ends' at the end of your session. You can reasonably expect to be fed dozens of customised reading suggestions and follow-on perspectives outside of the formal sessions via friendly and informal messenger contact, where I am active and available four days per week to cultivate an intimate personal connection while likewise enhancing your positive momentum via accountability check-ins and additional support as required. By way of conclusion for what feels like an extraordinarily long comment and service description, I feel compelled to once more emphasise that working directly with me is unrealistic for most people in most situations. I often support people who are accustomed to wrestling with the emotional challenges associated with working through complex wounds in previous therapeutic relationships before we begin our coaching work together. Even individuals without 'hard trauma' can expect moments of pressurised darkness and heaviness during periods of shadow contact as you begin to restructure your personal unconscious. We will be exploring your psyche and soma at scale and depth, and it will be your responsibility to keep me informed about the emotional texture of your internal reality, especially if you encounter negatively charged experiences, and I will of course do everything in my power to support you through the hard times as we integrate the darkness and move forwards together. KZbin is a wonderful place for me to share free research resources and offer accessible inner work invitations; my private mentorships, however, are the place for collaborative partnership and emotional security as we identify, navigate and restructure oftentimes confronting and challenging conscious and unconscious physical, emotional and mental material. Ultimately, this is a highly-demanding but highly-rewarding process which requires the best of our shared intentions. ... *SESSION STRUCTURE & FEES:* The total fee for an Inner Work Mentorship (including 12 x 2 hr sessions) is £7,400 GBP or approximately $9,400 USD. This is my only coaching programme, and my mentorship pricing is liable to adjustment over time. Each private session lasts two hours, and is facilitated via Telegram video call at an ideal time for both of us. Your mentorship extends over a linear four-month period, with a total of twenty-four hours of structured session time, in addition to four days per week of unlimited messenger availability for accountability updates, voice note exchanges and informal calls upon occasion. I do not work on Mondays, Tuesdays or Wednesdays, but I am fully-available across all timezones for regular calls and messenger contact on Thursday - Sunday. If you’ve scrolled this far, and resonate with what I’m offering, I invite you to message me on Instagram. It would be my pleasure to start exploring your goals and intentions in real-time. IMPORTANT: I am an intentionally independent coach, and not a licensed therapist or associated with any professional bodies or coaching institutions, and therefore enjoy the freedom to collaborate with my clients across all areas of life in an intimate, direct and highly involved coaching style. I work with no more than twenty people per year, and am currently accepting a maximum of two new clients per month. I also manage my own inbox and do not use automated systems or employ people to pretend to be me on Instagram, which means that it usually takes four to six weeks for me to respond to new messages and begin the interview process. Although my approach takes time, I hope you ultimately appreciate my personal emphasis on authentic and confidential communication from the very beginning of our relationship. I once again encourage you to message me immediately if you want to start working together within the next two months - bump yourself to the top of my inbox, and I’ll send you some voice notes to get our conversation started.

@behroozshahdaftar4209 9 ай бұрын

You've said this before and it made me realize that to have boundaries, one must have a sense of self. I can't put a fence in the middle of a public park because that piece of land doesnt belong to me. And if I don't belong to me, how can I defend or protect it.

@jordanthornton 9 ай бұрын

Amazingly said, yes - you’ve got it.

@Heart-Core 9 ай бұрын

I believe the only way to create peace in general on every level in this world is if all people learn to communicate their needs and boundaries respectfully with each other. Thank you for your massive contribution to that helping people reflect and understand themselves and each other respectfully, lovingly, bravely and intelligently❣️

@IndigoHazelnut 9 ай бұрын

I am so glad to hear you talk about this! Recently I heard a very well known author say 'if something is not a hard yes, it's a no'.. And all I could think was.. but life is more nuanced and complex than that

@jordanthornton 9 ай бұрын

It's absolutely more nuanced than this. I don't agree with the 'if something is not a fuck yes, then it's a no' thinking - would be awful to be applied to something like parenting or showing up for work, for example.

@mariannaszmer6461 9 ай бұрын

The last part of the video about boundaries with yourself - amazing. I feel like this is the basis of any outer boundaries we try to implement. Love your approach. Best wishes, Jordan 🌻

@jordanthornton 9 ай бұрын

Self-boundaries is really the way forwards, at the more advanced levels for sure. Happy to be here sharing this!

@lovingsister3112 9 ай бұрын

Thank you so much! Setting boundaries and being a good girl are two things I'm constantly working on. Just a few days ago I experienced a situation that confronted me with both. I am trying to find the balance, for too long I thought I had to be tough to get what I wanted. So your words come at a good time. I can be kind and I am allowed to set boundaries for my own good! And it's alright if someone gets hurt or hates me if I'm true to myself, sometimes it's not in my power to stop it. You always have to pay a price.

@jordanthornton 9 ай бұрын

Building those boundaries and working on those internal parts, you got this.

@Rosonicole 4 ай бұрын

I appreciate your flexible approach. Real and raw. Thanks!

@Jacqueoldfield 9 ай бұрын

Thank you Jordan, I appreciate everything you are doing always .💜🦋🙏🏻

@jordanthornton 9 ай бұрын

Thanks for being here, appreciate your consistent appreciation!

@Jah-MinaCaines 5 ай бұрын

This is exactly how I needed it to be explained. Thank you ❤

@nobodysgirl7972 9 ай бұрын

So good. I still struggle with this. Especially once I've said yes to something I have a hard time to change into no partially. It's still all or nothing. I still think of a situation recently with someone else. We had agreed on going for a walk together on that day and than that particular morning she send me a message she felt like isolating that day because something bad had happened the day before and she just didn't feel like it today. She'd still like to do it but not now. This situation was so inspiring for me and still is

@orangetulip1261 8 ай бұрын

I have learnt that there's nothing wrong with changing one's mind. The essence is to follow one's trueness about the situation...

@BrittanyAMorrow 9 ай бұрын

Synchronistically glad I did not do a video on this yesterday 🔗 great film and great message with an influential invitation to create a SELF value system. Very humanistic of you 👨🏻‍🏫🌲

@jordanthornton 9 ай бұрын

Boundaries really ended up becoming a theme from the week, hey?

@gitu_tg 9 ай бұрын

thank you ❤

@jordanthornton 9 ай бұрын

Great to see you here again, first comment too 🌲

@jengriffy01 9 ай бұрын

Love the “yes, but”. I watched the film Spaceman last night and one of the characters (a giant Nutella eating spider who makes you cry with his curiosity and kindness) says, “You have many boundaries, perhaps they are the cause of your loneliness”. It’s a dance some days.

@jordanthornton 9 ай бұрын

Very nicely added, sometimes we can be too firm and flexibility is the key 🌲 Cool anecdote.

@seppukuhiphop 9 ай бұрын

“Doubt is a one hundred percent trust, in a belief you don't prefer. You are never really actually in doubt. You are always completely trusting in something.” ― Bashar

@melsmagicofficial 8 ай бұрын

Thank you for your nuanced insight 🙏🏼✨

@jordanthornton 8 ай бұрын

Thanks for being here! Good to see you.

@RenRen007 9 ай бұрын

I love you so much

@jordanthornton 9 ай бұрын

No boundaries for love it seems ✌🏻

@hansonchun 9 ай бұрын

Since I’ve become aware of my people pleasing tendencies, I seem to have fallen into a belief that I must go the other way by giving 100% no’s at the first hint of disagreement. It feels like I’m in defiance of all the times I’ve betrayed myself in the past by saying yes to everything. This video has really opened my eyes. Thank you good sir!

@jordanthornton 9 ай бұрын

Happy to have been here to support your unlocks, hope this week has continued to flow well for you since you watched this one.

@sphblr3767 9 ай бұрын

its a great video, thank you for making it !

@jordanthornton 9 ай бұрын

Thank you, more on the way!

@latsyrk714 9 ай бұрын

Self boundaries! YES

@jordanthornton 9 ай бұрын

Precisely! 🌲

@ShaiMarlin 9 ай бұрын

Oh my goodness! This makes so much sense.. thank you ❤️

@jordanthornton 9 ай бұрын

Happy that it landed - life is lived in those middle zones, for sure.

@gailaltschwager7377 9 ай бұрын

Thank you, Jordan! Really useful.

@jordanthornton 9 ай бұрын

Glad this one was helpful - playing around with the diagrams 🌲

@gailaltschwager7377 9 ай бұрын

@@jordanthornton ❤️❤️❤️

@falanadhimkana8644 4 ай бұрын

But how do i stop myself from disliking someone i liked before they suggested something like you example of the bedroom? Despite establishing the right boundary, my outlook of the person changes to "why am i with someone who could potentially want to act upon something that would damage me/us." I perceive it as an instant violation of trust, even thougj they may not have intended it be so. Ive been struggling with this for a while now. I was off of alcohol for a few months due to some medicines i had to take and my then boyfriend kept saying "oh, i wish you were drinking today!" And while i did say that i couldn't and he never forced me to, a small bug of mistrust in my head kept knawing at me. Something on the lines of how perhaps, if there was truely genuine love and affection between us, they would want to put my wellbeinf first as well and not say things that go against it.