How to spot red flags in their character

[@maisharahman4888]

you're my virtual therapist jazakallah khair for this sister ily

[@iyaakarim5714]

wish i had this video a year ago subhanAllah :,), barak Allah feeki for sharing and may we all be protected, ameen

[@ayansaid8551]

Lama thank you so much sister & jazakillahu khair , the video is what exactly I needed to hear today and it's really authentic and it feels on the spot genuine advice, in my view it needs no reposting xxx بارك الله فيك وما شاءالله

[@realtalk675]

I understand exactly what u mean . And i am converted and so glad To see a red flag video of a muslim perspective

[@Bellaaaa98]

This was a great video don’t delete it thank you !

[@MedicineofSD]

They tell you they want to talk “ for months before coming to a conclusion”

[@smilingsue4444]

I feel like one way to avoid wasting time with someone who isn’t serious is to set boundaries and expectations about timeline in the very first meeting and if they fail to meet them, then you can let them go with no regrets

[@ADB-jd9if]

Thank you for this manual for Muslim marriages. May Allah grant us spouses that we find sakinah, content, satisfaction and love for His sake.

[@ladyAZforeveryoung]

Hi Lama can you please make a video about parents pressure for marriage ? My mom told me today " i dont care about myself and my health i just want you to get married and start a family" i feel so defeated with that statement like she is living through me and she wont be happy until i get married

[@yusiziy651]

Giiirlllll u spilling faaaccctttzzzzzz 👏👏👏

[@pebblebooch5449]

I use to behave Immaturely and I have walked the earth as a red flag individual. I will change Insallah

[@hurricane5952]

Great video, learned a lot

[@bereem727]

how can you tell if someone is just telling you what you want to hear (bc they're interested in you) vs someone being honest ?

[@Sarafara7]

That’s a great question. I’ve found that with time you will notice that it’s all talk. Spend a lot of time with them, ask questions, ask the same ones in different ways. People can’t lie for too long.

[@Lakeshowhawks]

@@Sarafara7 I would add, ask the same questions in different ways and in different settings (i.e., not just over text or phone but also in person). Also don't be afraid to ask the same questions as sister Sara mentioned.

[@rowan1126]

Found this helpful. Thank you

[@mee976]

Thank you ❤

[@afshan8178]

So true!

[@shaddad8]

I Love this one

[@Sarafara7]

I don’t quite agree that someone saying they are a hafiz is an automatic red flag. It’ll depend on their demeanor when they say it. Are they saying it as a way of showing off and are they prideful? Or are they genuinely happy and want to share an accomplishment in? It’s like sharing you’ve graduated with PhD. It’s not inherently a red flag for stating that, everything around the conversation and what takes place is what matters.

[@lamaaboubakr29]

Yep, I didn't say it's an automatic red flag, the reason matters, context matters, demeanor matters.

[@Sarafara7]

@ Thank you for your comment, I possibly misunderstood your message.

[@hafizmuhammadadil150]

What about someone having “Hafiz” in theri name? If they don’t even wanna tell their name will tell. Is that red flag too?

[@muhatbet]

Please do more!

[@tvrocksmyworldtoo]

What if you ask the guy what are you looking for in your future partner and his simple answer is just a halal girl with no specification. I don't like this answer. Is this right? I would prefer he specifies what he likes because not any girl suits him.

[@Salsabiela468]

Then don't leave it hanging, ask him to specify his answer, as Lama said "you need to do your part"

[@hanzsun-m5h]

probably ask more detail, if they're reluctantly to explain then drop it. These "generalized" answers are not reassuring in my opinion.

[@HiEveryBhatti]

I am a p genuine person and really make that transparent but then feel I might be overdoing it and putting someone off (seem crazy) can that be the case or am I overthinking here?

[@ayansaid8551]

Being a transparent & honest is a treasure and not a lot of people have or able to handle it. I find it a quality to add to the strength list.

[@ammarshaikh8669]

Nice video Masha Allah

[@realtalk675]

4:23 i see this soo much

[@husnainshahzad2165]

But there is a reason for mention being a hafiz or a 'scholar' in the context of getting to know someone... why? because these things formulate a part of ones identity. When you get to know someone, you get to know what things they identify with.

[@sharmiladelrey5259]

While that may be true it doesn’t necessarily reflect their overall character.

[@husnainshahzad2165]

@sharmiladelrey5259 not one stated or claiming a single thing constitutes the 'overall character' that is besides the point and you would be silly to think that... but these things do form a part of ones identity. Identity does feed into character in some way...

[@_zaaphiel]

What if I'm looking for the red flags

[@mulyydorkyy]

Hi, so i have a question. I am just 19 and I would like to get married one day and I kinda asked somone if they would like to get to know for marriage which funnily took a lot of courage. I am stuck between wanting to and not wanting, like will i ever feel ready? Not like I am desperate but at the same time there is a want to have a partner

[@realtalk675]

Dont rush and make the wrong decision. Get to know the person

[@user-xh8qt3ez5s]

Please elaborate how you met your husband in the mosque. I would like to learn from the experience. Men and women are separated in the mosque so how is this possible???

[@sharmiladelrey5259]

Literally

[@lamaaboubakr29]

You become friends with women at the masjid and they tend to have connections. you focus on creating beautiful friendships with women and that creates a network.

[@_zaaphiel]

Why on earth is "not feeling good" the criteria here? Vague and subjective emotions are like the worst criteria for major life decisions.

[@m21285]

I disagree I think paying attention to your gut feeling is one of the best ways you could assess if someone is good for you. Especially if youre a woman due to strong intuition. Things could seem perfect on paper but your gut feeling might pick up on something you just cant put your finger on. It might sound vague but its actually not once youre more in tune with yourself. Like Lama said if you clear it from the anxiety, fears, etc then you can have a more grounded sense of how others make you feel. And if thats difficult its possible to learn body awareness

[@_zaaphiel]

@ that's like literally just following your whims and desires.

[@m21285]

@@_zaaphiel not really. Following whims and desires is more related to things like infatuation, butterflies, 'sparks', and attachment. Following your gut is about how we are born as intuitive. We can have an intuitive sense of how we subconsciously feel around others; i.e how your nervous system reacts. For instance, feeling at peace with someone. Feeling comfortable being yourself around someone, feeling comfortable complaining to them, knowing they wont dismiss your feelings, etc. You get the sense that you trust them because they are consistently honest, respectful, empathetic and kind to you across various contexts. And if they havent been these things, youll get the sense that something is 'off' and you dont trust them for some reason. You might not know what the reason is until later, but your body (nervous system) can always pick up on things. Obviously you might not be 100% correct about the person just through your gut, you'd need to assess the person logically, see how they react in certain situations, etc. You can think about if your gut has often been correct throughout your life eg choosing friends, coworkers, etc. Otherwise if not you can find ways to get more I'm tune with it

[@_zaaphiel]

@@m21285 my gut tells me you're extremely wrong and delusional

[@m21285]

@@_zaaphiel Okay.

[@keepitreelcatfishing5883]

Didn’t find this video helpful. A lot of what you’re mentioning are not necessarily red flags, but compatibility / personality difference and preferences.

[@realtalk675]

Maybe not for you but i get where she is coming from . She talks about red flags in character

[@yasminedounia6031]

Me at the opposite really find it helpful coz really from m'y experience I was getting to understand that red flags really means what she explained

[@belkiscevra5338]

Which for example?