your self-concept attracts the spouse you want

Every failed attempt at a relationship can contribute to how you see yourself, and I want to show you how you can undo that with creating new beliefs
Book to work with me:
www.lamaabouba...

[@haytoo]

I do struggle with my self esteem since I was little. And the fact that I’m old and always have trouble in relationships makes me confirm that I am not good enough, it is very hard to rewire.

[@kalactose348]

Man here. Girls....dont be sad. 99% of Men that ghost you is because we're all broke

[@sitifariya9662]

😂😂😂

[@Milavibe24]

😂

[@Sarafara7]

Then don’t talk to women if you are too broke it affects the respect you give others :)

[@Khannajmah]

True

[@Bresha_________]

Me thinking to myself at my kitchen sink 1 min before finding the video “you should really start thinking about marriage differently” opens phone ** your video is the first recommended video on YT. Wow. Ma Sha Allah!

[@winnnerm-mk9tj]

A sign from Allāh?

[@AllahuAkbaruKabirah]

We do not create our destiny with our thoughts. Destiny (Qadar) is written by Allah Almighty . ---- The Book of Destiny Abdullah b. 'Amr b. al-'As reported: I heard Allah's Messenger (sala Allah alih wa salam) as saying: Allah ordained the measures (of quality) of the creation fifty thousand years before He created the heavens and the earth, as His Throne was upon water. Reference : Sahih Muslim 2653bIn-book reference : Book 46, Hadith 27USC-MSA web (English) reference : Book 33, Hadith 6416 ---- Provisions (rizq) for everyone are already written and will not change Qadar is related to Allah’s wisdom and knowledge, and is not related to our way of thinking at all A person who is satisfied and content with him or herself appears beautiful in the eyes of people, but this does not mean that he will get married for this reason, marriage is in the hand of Allah alone. Allah is capable of everything. Ask Allah for everything, great or small, in this world and the hereafter Allah is the most generous expect all good things from Allah and wait for relief Do not rush or despair learn about Qadar Read the Quran and learn the book of Tawheed

[@YussiNY]

I don’t think we should ask what god think of us (that feels really weird to me) except what and how we think god is to us, for example do you believe he is All Merciful, The Most Compassionate, The Loving etc… if you have that thought then you are in a good place, and if your not in a good place and you still remain thinking positive of Allah سبحانه وتعالى then your hardship will soon end and things will get better. Allah is always guiding his creations and He never forgets.

[@lamaaboubakr29]

On a human level, we project our own insecure thoughts onto Allah, so in our mind if we think we're not a good enough muslim, that can make us believe that Allah doesn't love us anymore. This is not saying guess what Allah is thinking of you, I'm saying ask your brain how you think Allah thinks about you, because that determines how strong your relationship is with Allah. It's a deeper way of understanding, every thought we have determines how strongly we worship Allah. As an example: "I don't do enough so Allah has given up on me" is a thought that many people have. That makes people give up, and not make dua as strongly. That's why It's important to see what you're thinking.

[@YussiNY]

@@lamaaboubakr29 so using the example you have used, how should we then respond to that thought? Just curious Your right that what we do project own insecurities onto Allah. i would mention its the other way round, people would generally think first ‘Allah has given up on me, then would think to themselves that they are worthless’ thats how the devil works and in the Hadith Qudsi Allah says “I am as my servant thinks i am” I would also say the question How you think Allah thinks about you? Puts a lot of pressure on us. (It doesn’t make any sense to me) If it were to be reframed as how does Allah see you? would be a lot better, its a little more subtle and creates a better and safer space to self-reflect and to see yourself. just a thought i’m not trying to discredit you. :) ❤️

[@lamaaboubakr29]

So to answer the example I mentioned "I don't do enough so Allah has given up on me" Nothing we do will ever give justice to what Allah deserves, and Allah doesn't judge based on how perfect our actions are, but on our intentions. As humans, we tend to judge ourselves based on our actions, so we think Allah judges us the same way. So to reframe the thought, even when I don't do enough, Allah has never given up on me in the past, and everyday that he gives me life means He's still giving me a chance to come back to Him, which means Allah deeply loves me. You have to find a reframe that brings you back to Allah. As to your last point about the question, you can frame it however feels comfortable to you, people interpret it differently.

[@chhf08765]

Actually, I’ve heard an Islamic scholar talk about this concept of evaluating our position as a Muslim by questioning what Allah thinks of us as Muslims. It’s not because we can envision Allah’s thoughts or even what he thinks of us, but more-so I think Lamaa is indicating that anybody can have an idea of what position or rank Allah would place them based on their actions, do they pray, do they treat others well, do they have pure hearts, do they avoid sinning, etc. And this act will actually encourage us to discipline ourselves more and strive more for the sake of Allah because clearly if we were to guess Allahs position on us, even though it’s beyond us to discern that, we would always feel lacking since we nothing we do really can ever be enough to “fulfill” our duty worshipping Allah; he has immensely blessed us without limits, and no extent of worship can ever compensate for Allahs blessings. This is why we enter Jana through Allahs mercy, not by our actions.

[@YussiNY]

@@chhf08765 Jazak’Allah Khair, thank you for sharing :)

[@user-ur1xo6rj7p]

Dont mind me....almost 17...just a girl who got recommended with this video...clicked it with no intention to actually watch the whole video.... Hi to everyone else and I pray success for us all. Ameen❤

[@127laibaakmal6]

You have no idea how much this video helped me. I didn"t even realize I was doing this. Thank you so much.

[@albertower]

This content should be teaching in all schools

[@hafsaal6283]

thank you so much… I really don’t know why this video showed up nor do I know why I watched it, as I am someone too old for starting my own family now and never even think about it intentionally - but the way you spoke touched sth. in me and I am literally bawling right now and my tears won’t stop. May Allah bless you and all of us and may He help us..

[@AllahuAkbaruKabirah]

We do not create our destiny with our thoughts. Destiny (Qadar) is written by Allah Almighty . ---- The Book of Destiny Abdullah b. 'Amr b. al-'As reported: I heard Allah's Messenger (sala Allah alih wa salam) as saying: Allah ordained the measures (of quality) of the creation fifty thousand years before He created the heavens and the earth, as His Throne was upon water. Reference : Sahih Muslim 2653bIn-book reference : Book 46, Hadith 27USC-MSA web (English) reference : Book 33, Hadith 6416 ---- Provisions (rizq) for everyone are already written and will not change Qadar is related to Allah’s wisdom and knowledge, and is not related to our way of thinking at all A person who is satisfied and content with him or herself appears beautiful in the eyes of people, but this does not mean that he will get married for this reason, marriage is in the hand of Allah alone. Allah is capable of everything. Ask Allah for everything, great or small, in this world and the hereafter Allah is the most generous expect all good things from Allah and wait for relief Do not rush or despair learn about Qadar Read the Quran and learn the book of Tawheed

[@ThriveWithLouise]

Self concept is everything! Literally

[@ammara6502]

I’m just turning 17 but your videos are amazing. This doesn’t have to be about marriage but it changes the way you think about yourself, thank you so much ❤

[@sha67890]

Thank-You for this video. Seriously! Your video popped up and it was the advice I needed to hear.

[@maryr23]

I would love a little clip of ur house, your bg looks so my style 😭

[@meryemcokal5495]

wow, this video was eye opening. the statements you proposed to chnge is exactly how ive felt for a while, so ive been telling myself i might have trust issuesand simply love being alone that maybe god didnt mean for meto be in arelationship at this time of my life but thank you so much for this video! i loved your walk through and your exersize!!

[@fsillah1]

I am confident that I’m beautiful even though i have gain weight from 4 children I am 31. But this is my 2nd marriage and my husband is a bum. I don’t know how i attracted him but I’ll explain a story. When i was 18 i was forced into marrying my 1st husband we had 2 kids i divorced him at 23 i remarried at 25 to a man twice my age almost who has been divorced twice and doesn’t take care if his kids financially. He is uneducated and was unemployed. I am very educated with bachelor’s degree. I basically i am the sole provider. I have so many fights with him because i am burn out. I know its my fault cuz i married him at a time my self worth was so down. Now he blames me for everything thats going wrong in his life. Dislikes my 1st born labels me a bad woman and i caught him saying bad stuff about me to my enemies. I have been through emotional abuse since this. No compliments. Silent angers from everything i do then burst out once and the cycle of fighting and name calling starts again. I am so mentally exhausted that i am nonchalant now. But my poor kids that i have with him i dont want them to see me divorce again and my parents being disappointed i am just tired and confused

[@soupinabowl5654]

Leave him sister, Allah will guide you

[@fsillah1]

@@soupinabowl5654 yeah i just came back from work and he has packed all his belongings and left. I am sad for my kids but Allah knows best. Pls make dua for me

[@supporter4224]

@@fsillah1لا يكلف الله نفسا الا وسعها Allah does not burden a soul more than it can bare, be patient my beautiful sister I can’t imagine how difficult it must be subhanallah but remember you’re not alone, you always have Allah SWT, and the messenger صل الله عليه و سلم said a believer is not afflicted with any difficulty be it the prick of a thorn except his sins are expiated [sahih al bukhari 5461] sometimes Allah SWT tests us to elevate our ranks, remember you are being rewarded for what you patiently endure, this life is short and Jannah is around the corner, have that mindset and inshallah it will make you feel stronger. You are deserving of love, remember Allah, the owner of Love, loves and sustains you just as he has for all these years. Turn to Allah and call out to him, he hears, and remember the dua of the one who is oppressed is always answered. May Allah reward you for everything you patiently endure and make it a means for your entry into jannatul Firdus without hisab

[@soupinabowl5654]

@@fsillah1 of course. Don’t be afraid sister, for Allah is the best of planners. Turn to him, he will never let you down. Rather, I am sure he is protecting you right now

[@sunshines4419]

@@fsillah1 May Allah rectify your affairs and guide you and your kids. May Allah protect you and your kids! Ameen…perhaps this could be good for you since it’s toxic relationship. It’s better that he left than you asking me to leave. If you stay in a relationship where there is any kind of abuse, you are teaching your kids how they supposed to live in such marriage. Now this is your time to getter closer to Allah, focus on Allah, your kids and yourself. Seek knowledge of bettering yourself and be there for your kids. They need you right now and you have to be present with them, instead of focusing of getting toxic father who is not good for you or them right now… think of this ayah; "And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know." Allah knows the best my dear sister, I hope you find the peace …. everything happens for a reason! May Allah bless you!!! 🫶🏻

[@binnyjan9509]

Not necessarily, when I got married at 21 I had uber high self esteem in terms of self confidence, education and physical attributes but I obeyed my mother and married my cousin who is from. Back home less educated and financially way off but I made the sacrifice. I knew if I chose my own partner I could have attracted better but god rewarded me with a reasonable friend in my spouse as he has supported me as a friend.

[@AllahuAkbaruKabirah]

We say Allah we don't say god which may be said for anything that is worshipped other than Allah

[@erminaimamovic7917]

Frozen food energy got me 😅😅 love that.

[@Mer______0143]

This really helps

[@nadhaaw4748]

salam lama, jazakAllah khayr

[@unknownoblivion2417]

11;00 write this down Why am I not married? What do the opposite gender think of me? What do I think of myself list down the positive and negative”I am” What does for think of me? (What I think he thinks of me) What do I think of god? 13:32 What I ever I tell you isn’t too fool you it’s real. So when I tell you you are gamer you are. You better believe it. But for the negative things I do tell you don’t immediately believe it but evaluate it and see if it’s true or not look for proofs and even then take it with a grain of salt if your not happy with it change it /FIX it

[@AllahuAkbaruKabirah]

We do not create our destiny with our thoughts. Destiny (Qadar) is written by Allah Almighty . ---- The Book of Destiny Abdullah b. 'Amr b. al-'As reported: I heard Allah's Messenger (sala Allah alih wa salam) as saying: Allah ordained the measures (of quality) of the creation fifty thousand years before He created the heavens and the earth, as His Throne was upon water. Reference : Sahih Muslim 2653bIn-book reference : Book 46, Hadith 27USC-MSA web (English) reference : Book 33, Hadith 6416 ---- Provisions (rizq) for everyone are already written and will not change Qadar is related to Allah’s wisdom and knowledge, and is not related to our way of thinking at all A person who is satisfied and content with him or herself appears beautiful in the eyes of people, but this does not mean that he will get married for this reason, marriage is in the hand of Allah alone. Allah is capable of everything. Ask Allah for everything, great or small, in this world and the hereafter Allah is the most generous expect all good things from Allah and wait for relief Do not rush or despair learn about Qadar Read the Quran and learn the book of Tawheed

[@sumayahmohammedhadis7391]

@@AllahuAkbaruKabirahyes, no one could say any different. but wouldn’t you also agree that if a golden opportunity is presented to someone they might not take it due to their negative concepts in their head. “i’m not good enough”, “no way this is for me”, “it’ll leave before i even notice”type of thoughts. idk. there’s been a lot of times that i’ve regretted things, that if i did do-could make my life happier, me not doing that thing was the destiny Allah prescribed for me, sah. but shouldn’t we change our mental processes, validate, and support ourselves so we are ready to welcome Allah’s blessings when it comes? idk, just thinking

[@Jeniffer61867]

I do believe that I'm beautiful and worthy of a good husband and all. I have high self esteem because I'm physically attractive but I once had thought that I might be not lucky etc. Can that be an issue?

[@Ahbhswrzq9221]

Yes definitely, because others believe they are lucky and it is easy for them to have it so they end up getting it

[@asmauzurmi7547]

From my perspective as a Muslim, it's not particularly hinged on luck for me but my belief in the generosity of Allah and his ability.

[@AllahuAkbaruKabirah]

We do not create our destiny with our thoughts. Destiny (Qadar) is written by Allah Almighty . ---- The Book of Destiny Abdullah b. 'Amr b. al-'As reported: I heard Allah's Messenger (sala Allah alih wa salam) as saying: Allah ordained the measures (of quality) of the creation fifty thousand years before He created the heavens and the earth, as His Throne was upon water. Reference : Sahih Muslim 2653bIn-book reference : Book 46, Hadith 27USC-MSA web (English) reference : Book 33, Hadith 6416 ---- Provisions (rizq) for everyone are already written and will not change Qadar is related to Allah’s wisdom and knowledge, and is not related to our way of thinking at all A person who is satisfied and content with him or herself appears beautiful in the eyes of people, but this does not mean that he will get married for this reason, marriage is in the hand of Allah alone. Allah is capable of everything. Ask Allah for everything, great or small, in this world and the hereafter Allah is the most generous expect all good things from Allah and wait for relief Do not rush or despair learn about Qadar Read the Quran and learn the book of Tawheed

[@user-ur1xo6rj7p]

Yes....😗

[@Sarafara7]

You are measuring yourself by looks only. You didn’t say anything about who you really are. What your personality is like, etc.

[@zaheerahmedvdf]

Jazakallah Khair for this!

[@silvij6152]

No me reading your name I am a abubakar

[@Milavibe24]

You sent me 😭🤣

[@viviantejada]

great exercise thank you for this!

[@aleynaimroll]

Thank you ❤

[@arika12332]

Mine ia literally "i am not fair skinned "😂

[@purplebear445]

This is so true so relatable

[@aplworks]

I want to hear this ❤ , I resonate on this topic.

[@ammar8256]

genuine question, what if you are fat, unmotivated, a slacker, someone who has a shallow character. should you really self motivate without resolving these issues? i mean if your "manifestaion" turns real do you think its fair to couple someone fit and with a good character with someone like this?

[@linamalak5753]

Can you please talk about the beginnings how the girl acts when someone she likes start to show interest

[@sarai.abdelhafeez7084]

I like your videos Thank you

[@Ahbhswrzq9221]

This is soooo true

[@Ahbhswrzq9221]

I have so much anger and resentment now towards him that I don’t know if I want him anymore and if I want to manifest him. I know I can manifest him but I don’t want to. I’m so mad at him for not taking action and progressing the relationship. What should I do should just leave it ?

[@sam_creyaytive]

Yes leave

[@ram47863]

Leave him

[@MarwaAhmed-ni3tw]

Yes absolutely leave him

[@emoizluv]

Amazing❤

[@sam_creyaytive]

What if, I know who I am and what I deserve but in reality men aren't the way I expect to be and I try to adjust to them, should I do that coz no one is perfect. I allow that and yet I still get rejected or shown like they're not interested In me. And then I'm constantly questioning myself where I went wrong or what happened..I even regret allowing them in my life

[@mrssomeone2143]

If he is serious he won't play with anyone feeling. Adjust your expectation, see the reality of him

[@jay.jay.]

I used to do that, adjusting to them, wanted to see deeper than superficial things, I tried to not judge them. What they did instead was rejecting me for my looks! I decided to never ever adjust to make them comfortable, but to always stick to what I also want.

[@Finefella]

Keep making duas

[@LeniZankl]

Hey, is your 30 min call the free discovery call? :)

[@Jeniffer61867]

My self esteem about my physical appearance has always been high because I'm really beautiful and I have been told that since my childhood. I was always a straight A student so I automatically assumed I'm smart also because I can speak 3 languages, it increased my confidence massively. I was always a good human so I believe that I deserve the best in life. My self esteem has been great, but I had negative beliefs about others that people can be selfish and life can be difficult. Or maybe I'm not a lucky girl. I think this is my self concept issue. But I'm working on it. Any good suggestions?

[@lamaaboubakr29]

Yes those thoughts will become true, because the brain focuses on proving it right to you. I would suggest challenging those thoughts; to see how maybe there are people that are selfish, AND there are people that are loving and caring just like you. That life can be difficult AND life can be amazing at the same time. Start with seeing how both can be true, that's the work that would benefit you, to show your brain that it's not all negative.

[@irfaan_ayoob]

There are still people out there who are loving and caring. Not all people are selfish. Life can be difficult at times, but God will not place a burden upon you which you cannot endure. Trials and tribulations form part of life. These make us stronger. Take my example as an inspiration, I grew up in poverty, yet last year I graduated in Bachelor of Laws (LLB Hons). Don't listen to people also, sometimes people bad opinion can have a negative effect on yourself. Each person has a different timeline and purpose in this world. Hope that helps.

[@Drigger95]

Really weird. If a woman told me she thinks she's awesome and a five course meal, I'd immediately walk away because that is just narcissism. You can have standards of behavior you allow and accept. That's different. But that's not related to your self concept. If you're disgusted by rudeness, lack of compassion, and arrogance, that can be a ruler to filter out people. If you think of yourself as awesome and really cool, that gives of a very masculine energy in a conversation that no man would really find comfortable. But you do you sis.

[@ak-47intelligence75]

LoL. Keep your misleading opinions to yourself. There are PLENTY of men who find it attractive when women are self assured and confident. You call it narcissism because you're insecure. She doesn't care what you think because it stems from your fragile sense of self.

[@jay.jay.]

You don't say these thing out loud. This is what you thing in the back of your mind (subconsious). And, no, having confidence doesn't mean being arrogant. Arrogance means thinking I'm better than you. People with ego have arrogance. In fact people who are trully confident are relaxed, calm and know that they are not perfect, but they are valuable just for the way Allah created them. As I said this is not comparing with others, but each individual has worth given by Allah, and one should never see themselves as not good enough.

[@Drigger95]

@@jay.jay. Then you should think at the back of your head to evaluate yourself objectively given your skill set and your attitude and know that you are always improving and will be fine, instead of seeing yourself as a 5 course meal when you have nothing to offer in a relationship besides wanting to be treated like a princess or a king 😆

[@HaggaiTodd-g2l]

Brown Dorothy Moore Scott Brown Eric

[@shabahnam123]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@Mer______0143]

Thank you ❤