How To Stop A Narcissist Smearing And Ruining Your Reputation

[@MarigoldSundays]

Anyone who could turn on you that easily never trusted or respected you, long before the narcissist arrived. The narcissist just gave them the freedom to release their true selves. Even with an apology, I would never trust a traitor again

[@westcoast747]

So basically play it cool, carry on like your not bothered by all the haters. The lies, smears, and crazy making just rise above it. Great advice Melanie, this is the way forward.

[@marionandrusiak8600]

This advice is so good. The best thing you can do is do nothing. True friends and family will not become minions or flying monkeys. I tried telling some the truth, and ended up feeling even worse. If they simply believe the smears about you they were not true friends anyway. The best advice I got from one of my children was to realise that I couldn’t control what other people did to me, I could only control how I reacted.

[@MarigoldSundays]

I agree. True friends and family would ask you if what they’re hearing is true. And they’d believe your answer

[@Ama28]

I agree as well. True family and friends will support you no matter what not be flying monkeys, long before the narcissist and won't turn on you like that.

[@PaulHanson-zo5qj]

It definitely weeds out the jealous haters !I personally think smear campaigns are beneficial AF !

[@lionhearttt3540]

Were living in a narcissistic world. It feels like the narcissists always win 😔

[@chelledoll321]

LionHeartttt , Narc world might win for short time being but remember Karma plays in the role. Where others finally see through them. There behavior toward others and how there actions are so clearly transparent.

[@fifilafleur5555]

@lionhearttt... they do always win. This earth belongs to Satan and the narcs & their minions do his bidding. But we know who wins in the end. 🙏🏻✝️🙏🏻

[@karmasutra4774]

They win. Know two and they always land on top. They have had some bad things happen, but not enough to count as any karma. They land on top most the time because they are willing to stoop really low

[@AnthonyManzio]

true

[@dapage5]

I know, and I’m to the point that I don’t want to even talk about him or any of it again. I’m exhausted just thinking about it. Thank you

[@dentakleen5204]

I have suffered 4 smear campaigns. In the most recent smear campaign, the narcissist assumed they had me figured out. He told 75% of my colleagues lies about me. However, I gave 0 reaction and in just 2 days disarmed 90% of the flying monkeys. The narcissist is desperately trying to gain flying monkeys but nobody wants to help him due to my refusal to participate in their games.

[@juliechurch1799]

Denkal I been through several to . So when fly monkeys leave you alone does it mean they don't believe or your been ostricised?

[@mrbas5150]

Yep so true. I am completely isolated, depressed and not feeling very hopeful.

[@40ogre]

Be strong, your worth is you, not anyone else. 🙏

[@kisigma1011]

I've been there dont worry

[@mariapilarme]

Me too. I feel like you easy to say that this won’t bother you. It bothers me and I can’t get over this destruction.

[@fleep9008]

They live on borrowed time. Delusions have High interest RATES.

[@AnthonyManzio]

They always get exposed.

[@peterknyk1942]

Hi Melanie! This is a wonderful video as I really needed it today! The narcissist has smeared me to family, friends, the community, the synagogue, etc. to literally everybody except for her narc family! I know she never suppressed details during the smear campaign but it doesn't matter. I have learned little by little not to give a rats ass about what she's doing however that has been hard. I have gotten so much help from NARP to get to that place within where what she says doesn't matter.... I know that I am a good person and I know who I am and I don't care, or at least I am learning not to care, what others, the narcissist or anybody for that matter thinks about me! This is a hard thing to get through and it takes a lot of courage and a lot of inner work to get there and I know I would not be able to say this without the help of NARP....thank you Melanie ❤️🦋❤️

[@velvetbees]

It seems like I had to learn this lesson over and over again. Don't trust someone who keeps reminding you about the bad things another person did. I had a "friend", and when there was a woman in the neighborhood I started to like, my "friend" did not fail to remind me she was ungrateful for a favor she did for the woman. At that point, back off from that kind of person. They want you to be their garbage can into which they throw their unhappiness with another person. It sounds crude, but narcissists are crude... except they train you to think it's all for the best. Run the other way.

[@candywilkins386]

Yep!!! My ex husband of 31 years has completely smeared me to my adult children! He committed perjury in court and I tryed to tell them but they didnt believe me and I have proof! He used both of them to hide money and threaten to cut my brakes on my. Car.Just to get the money! I'm the one that left him !!! Thank you Jesus that he saved me!!! I'm disabled from ex- husband and I'm lucky to get out with my life! I'm totally going through this!🤢🤢🤢

[@daniellatan9016]

Happened to me too! He wouldve turned my cat against me too if he could. Thank God my cat was spared😊

[@zinilebt6002]

So now everytime something from past and present Narcs in my life comes up, I am going to watch this video. This is soooo helpful. And feels so good! Thank you.

[@annamariecaruana7956]

Really excellent advice. I stumbled on this formula after I had to put up some boundaries in a friendship with a very intrusive and controlling acquaintance, who 'paid me back' by spreading all sorts of slander. With faith and trust that God knew the truth and he would set things right, it didn't bother me at all. And as other people commented, it exposed those who were quick to run to gossip, while also revealed those with good hearts, sound minds and great judgement - true friends.

[@paulzedx636ninja7]

I remember one of the most horrendous smear campaigns, a female narc did when I was 11. I made one slight comment on maybe she shouldn't be so involved in another girl's business, and it was world war III. It was so elaborate it was beyond comprehension, she assembled five or six flying monkeys out of nowhere. I felt like I was on trial for a crime I didn't commit, just for expressing, a different point of view on what may be more beneficial behavior. 🤢

[@juliechurch1799]

My first smear campaign was at school too over nothing as well.

[@paulzedx636ninja7]

@Berny.A It's almost impossible to understand what's going on, when you experience the first smear campaign. It's especially painful when you were just trying to do the right thing. I know it's even more painful, when you were just trying to be helpful, and it doesn't work out. ☺

[@suzannedawson4120]

Yes! I went through ALL OF THIS during my marriage’. It wasn’t a marriage, it was an unbelievably abusive nightmare and I had absolutely no idea what what going on! I’ve been out of it for over 20 years now but the incidents are very clear as if they had happened to me last week. He recently died alone from a gastric bleed brought on by alcohol abuse, and it was two weeks before anyone found him. The truly sad part is his dog died too, because she was old and starved to death. That part broke my heart. But for him? I felt nothing. I still have to work on forgiving him, though. But it’s important because it’s for my own peace of mind and freedom! Thank you so much for sharing. I felt like the biggest fool this side of heaven. Although I wouldn’t wish what I went through on anyone, I’m grateful to know I’m not alone and that there are others who went through this too; who fully understand my experiences. I’m not insane. I’m not a fool. Just severely damaged because of it all. But at least I’m free today.

[@jasonglennmusic]

So sorry that happened so long to you! Maybe instead of trying to forgive him, forgive yourself for realizing it wasn’t you!

[@shaneledoux6006]

I can't seem to get anybody to know what this person is doing without them making it look like there the victim. This person has added a twist to this whole thing and now this person is claiming there afraid of me making me out to be the aggressor. When all I am trying to do is protect my name from the slandering that is going on.

[@juliechurch1799]

Hello Shane I had that as well .every time I came out my house ,they ran back in to make it look like they was scared of me cos there's a bus stop full of people .to make his lie narrative true .I think he was a malignant one .stay strong .

[@dellisgibbs5823]

It is so f--k up. Just where I’m at now. They really do just about destroy us. Family let me down. I’m so broken

[@johnbehneman1546]

GREAT VIDEO MELANIE!!!!! I NEED TO HEAL MY SOUL FIRST. THEN I CAN HEAL MY WORLD!!!!! THANKS FOR SHARING!!!

[@melindad180]

"They want to burry you, get rid of you..." I have felt that if I died my narcissistic sister would be happy...🥺

[@cbninastolt952]

Really sorry for You. I have also a sister who behaves like a narc and smearing me to my grown up Children who now Think that I have mentally disorder 😖

[@melindad180]

@@cbninastolt952 oh that is so sad! Has it always been this way with your sister? Or did it suddenly happen, or you just begin to detect it? They have made me wonder if I have a mental disorder.

[@emmad.176]

So sorry 😞 xx

[@leep6279]

I've been through this. That's my advice exactly. You can't stop them and the more you try the bigger hole you will dig yourself and drain your much needed energy. I think this is a blessing in disguise you will find out who the real people are in your life. Don't waste your time anyone who believes them isn't worth your time. I'm so greatful this part of my life is over Goodluck to anyone who is having to go through this. Stay strong and NO CONTACT is my best advice. 🙏☮☯️🕉😌❤🙏

[@catricegreer9498]

Thank you. This was validating, encouraging, and empowering.

[@katemunro2579]

It’s been 4 year and he’s still not been exposed. Probably never will be. Too manipulative and cunning. I’m past caring but it still hurts to think of mutual friends we had for 16 years who never contacted me after we separated.

[@christinefoltz1055]

I had to learn this after a nasty divorce, and once in a while i forget and share something parent -to-parent, and its a rerun of what he used to do. It rolls off me without feelings and i don’t care what he does or says anymore. Its now my adult children having to deal with him and see for themselves

[@commiecomrade2644]

This was helpful. I so badly want to fix my ruined reputation and I know the only way is to end up looking like Charlie Day in that meme with the Cork Board and red yarn.

[@crencottrell7849]

I've had not one but two female narcs, one grandiose and one covert, who smeared me to others. The grandiose narc falsely accused me of something online and when I tried to defend myself, I DID myself look crazy to others. With the covert narc who hated me more than the grandiose one and who smeared me a few years later after the grandiose did...I did nothing. I ruminated more though about the covert narc...AND I became furious when I discovered just last year that the covert one is a religious fraud (she posts vulgar posts from time to time and openly follows pages that are vulgar). I actually have a stronger desire to publicly expose the covert narc but I feel in my gut if I did, she will try to do something vindictive again 😤

[@shaneledoux6006]

I am going through this right now, it seems that every angle I try to stay far away from this person. This person still manages to be apart of my life weather its through my family or its through my friends. This person has made contact with my family and have somehow turned them on me so I know what your saying about this. It hits home very much

[@LamaRiman]

I have watched all your videos, and I never comment on videos. But I just want to tell you how much I loved your vibes and solution. This is true. This really helped. Thank you beautiful soul, God bless you ❤

[@MelanieToniaEvans]

That is so kind Lama! I am so pleased my videos are helping you

[@AnaLockett]

I REALLY needed to hear this....this morning. Im not sure if a smear campaign is happening but I haven't talked to some friends in a while. Thank you x 1000

[@gwk9880]

It took me long to realise that silence is better for smear campaign.The more I tried to explain the worse it got. My stepmother and her minions successfully tarnished my name but i have found so much peace in not caring. It's real growth

[@lucyg7887]

I had to get to that place where I didn’t care about what anyone says about me. I have had the ex smear campaign situation as well. Been divorced almost three years now. I don’t care what he or anyone else says about me. God knows who I am and what I have done, that’s what has always brought me comfort in going through the divorce and the roller coaster it is. Once I learned to let go my life improved so much. And now I have this confident, strong and enlightened aura about me 😊 I hope to help people one day as you have helped me so much in these last couple of years since I found your videos. Thank you so much ❤️

[@SheCat1964]

I some times wonder if we victims are addicted to pain. If any of you heard of HG Tudor, you will know what i mean. Every time we go seeking these video's for validation, we are breaking the no contact. Watching these keeps it fresh and keeps that person and what we have been through still in our minds. And we replay. It is like rubbing a wound or scratching that mosquito bite. It feels good at the time, but then the itch is even worse. And it keeps our victimization going, instead of healing. They are winning over and over.

[@lauralycans9537]

Hello CatG. I have not heard of HG Tudor, but…I hear you. I think you are on to something. I am 4 1/2 months no contact. And I am just now experiencing the phase of needing to stop watching so many videos that are in my feed. I think it’s a turning point in the process. Growth 🦋. I’ve also read about the relationship between the narc and the empath in that’s it’s like addiction/ substance abuse. We “have to have it”. The cyclical behaviors. So… my thoughts are , maybe we are finally “sobering up” after a time of no contact and can’t even be around the lingo, to be able to remain strong. Not sure, but how I perceive. Best! 💛

[@SheCat1964]

@@lauralycans9537 If you are ever curious of how a narc thinks then do check out that channel. He has been known for some time, but no one knows his real identity. People in his life have no idea what he is Narc/psychopath. I have actually learned more from him. He tells it like it is and its pretty eye opening. Then there is of course professor Sam Vankin also a diagnosed narc who teaches around the world. Has a channel on yourtube too. I have been separated from my husband for 12 years but only in the past 6 months went no contact. Well actually he did because i called him out. I in the past 6 months only discovered what he is. And i have had many years of damage. He was also an alcoholic and physically abusive. Those wounds heal not so much how they make you feel about yourself and who you became because of the manipulation. He damaged my 2 daughters and our daughter who is now struggling with a personality disorder herself and shes only 16. Anyway If they will allow i will place a link here. kzbin.info/www/bejne/bpCyhZeHp9pgnbM&ab_channel=HGTudor-KnowingTheNarcissist%3AUltra

[@lydiaworkman4050]

Thanks for your terrific videos. I am working through the modules and I feel like it helps me quite a lot. It will easier to get into a better routine with them once my daughter returns to school. I tend use the modules when I am having issues getting to sleep. I was joking about it today. Somewhere you said we sometimes fall asleep if we are resistant to the healing process. I find my sleep patterns are really improving by doing this. Then I go to my journal and try to make several entries throughout the day to work through the disturbing energy inside of me. It has a long struggle and your videos have really helped. I find my intuition sometimes pushes me to open about what I am going through, so the work is on the inner world most of the time. Then I moved to let people know this and that. Sometimes it does make me look bad, but occasionally it has paid off. Sometimes I prompt someone to react or respond and gives me some kind of clarity. It is good to do most of the work internally. Just once in a while my soul just vomits something out and I don't necessarily want to share it with the people around. I just do and it helps.

[@shaneledoux6006]

What I would like to know is how others go along with what's being said to them. .it seems like I am the crazy one in the public's eye. What I don't understand is how people who care and love you go along with how this person who is destroying you and how they listen to the narsisis

[@juliechurch1799]

Shane I've had several smears and first time I rectified and made worse.this time I'm doing what Melanie says and helps no end .

[@juliechurch1799]

I got called bipolar ,alcoholic ,mad aggressive ,Crazy thief liar .I gad to move .this time im past caring and doing what mel suggests .helps .cos if don't react there git nothing. The playbook is about you reacting.tgey use that to smear you

[@crencottrell7849]

We love you Dr. Melanie ☺😁🙏🏿🙌🏾

[@michaelmorgan7893]

The narcissist is a master of that game: "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain..... The great and powerful Oz has spoken!"

[@JS-em8lz]

This has happened to me. Its horrific.

[@melissatam1546]

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.

[@laurelmarshall6903]

Excellent video Mel! Thank you!! Your video really resonates with my personal experience so much. Narcissists all share so many common traits; they are also so gosh darn PREDICTABLE, it's positively amazing.

[@Possumpalz]

You can’t unfortunately. I don’t care what people think of me the truth will eventually come out.

[@ginasmith9039]

this, unfortunately, resonates very much ie the devaluing, character assassination, smearing etc unbelievable ( i do feel like i’m attacked relentlessly ). i SO wish it would stop.

[@carsten1989]

Damn, this is good. And that’s right, you’re not alone.

[@shaneledoux6006]

Nobody sees what is being done to me . This is wrong in every way

[@juliechurch1799]

Shane try to focus on self .hard I know but it works what Mel says. Is so fxxx ux what they do .and never get justice .these narcs are crazy !

[@getrudemwaura946]

Hello 🌹🌹🌹 Thank You very much 🙏I am working on myself and I see there’s progress. I’m changing from the caterpillar to the butterfly . It’s really not that easy though.❤🙏🙏🙏💕💕💕

[@LadeeSRM]

Thank you.

[@yogib8]

Ms. Melanie...that was so awesome...I will have to look at this over and over...but I am thankful to learn the steps towards my healing. Thank you!🌹💖

[@angelaandromedas3206]

Hello sweet lady I met you in Sydney Australia I had a blue dress THIS IS BRILLIANT XXX thank you The most BRILLIANT HELP thank you soooooo much SHOULD I FORWARD THIS SO MY narcissists can see this ? while im healing X??

[@faye9973]

YES Well said …

[@oazazdravlja5]

Amazing video! Thanks very much! 👏👍🙏❤️

[@lisal311]

I have been homeless, incarcerated and institutionalized because of my narcs smear campaign. I have PTSD and I cannot function at work so I have to go back on disability . I moved out of my home town because he has convinced everyone I am a schizophrenic, drug addict. alcoholic and child abuser. My he was charged with child abuse I stood by him and got the charges reduced. Layers, judges. police and everyone believes his lies. I stood up for myself by leaving text messages and voice mails and got harassment charges. I live in social isolation and and am afraid I might commit suicide . If I do no-one would care.

[@juliechurch1799]

People will care on here

[@mxxe007]

Thank you Melanie

[@lauradempsey2703]

True

[@SevalBiyan]

Omg 😮 😳 it’s like you are describing my life…to a T!!!

[@jennymac1116]

What a wonderful and timely video. Which modules exactly did you focus on to deal with the horrific trauma of having your name smeared to everyone to include people you simply buy hair from at the hair store? Is it SHR & 1 & 9? That's what it sounds like to me but please let me know so that I can get some emotional relief from this torture and the torture of knowing everyone around me is being tortured too. Thanks.

[@jennymac1116]

Hence, the reason for the worldwide phone calls, hair appointments, losing roommates, lawn care, etc. No levels to which they won’t illegally stoop. Wow. Smh So even more motivation to turn inward to heal from all these “details” spoken daily to these good, fine people. Thank you for the wording: “harness a power from within”. Hmmm...a few days work? On which modules? If I haven’t heard from you, then I will assume that it is modules 1, 9 and SHR. A few days only? With intense work I would imagine. I’ll use the constant smearing as motivation.

[@jennymac1116]

You actually got an apology. Wow. Must be nice. I can't even go on vacation. BW don't get so much as a consideration of being human much less an apology but I do believe in working to shift out the trauma. It's the only thing soothing to the soul of the horror of having complete strangers doing this to me.

[@JS-em8lz]

Sorry it's happened to you. Bless you.

[@joshdance9959]

Love this.thanks

[@shaneledoux6006]

This has landed me to be hospitalized and now looked at being crazy. It seems to me that this is just the beginning on what this person has planned with to destroy me. I feel like there something bigger coming where I may be in some sort of hot water all because of made up storeys and how it's bringing me all down. I feel that knowbody sees what this person is doing

[@juliechurch1799]

I do ,I been there . Focus on self like Mel suggest only way .they ant your fear their sick narcs and fly monkeys !

[@marvinmcgill]

Did this the last time we were together the good cop bad cop thing I had her stuttering lol I turned off my nice guy feelings it felt so so good cause I was sick of the game said she'd never change I can never trust u ones I have gave u 3 times trust is to far good

[@40ogre]

🙏

[@jasonglennmusic]

I commented on your first video, please make more! I was with her for over 3 years, and I decided I’m moving from California to Colorado head first to start my life over! Are there tell tell signs to know right away if I meet someone new and tell if they’re narcissistic?

[@sickofcrap8992]

The 1 down vote was obviously a narcissist. 😉

[@ramonawhitaker9883]

What can I do about a narc entering my dwelling. Also destroying and stealing my property

[@loriliberty2706]

Get cameras and document everything.

[@UlitheUnruly]

.38 Special.

[@ronhuggins696]

Now I know what apostle Paul meant in the scripture I Corinthians 4:13. 😔 Sad.

[@Catinlitterbox]

How to hey quantum freedom healing?

[@terryyoung6244]

Yep

[@kaushikreddy1237]

What if my smeared friend understood the narcs smear campaign nd came back to me???he dint say sorry nor do i know whether he is still friends with the narc or not

[@Zhinengzheyangle]

What about friends who believed them first and with time they came through with senses? Are they still friends?

[@loriliberty2706]

Stay away from them - they never really cared about you because if they did, they would have stood up for you. They are cowards!

[@rockstarofredondo]

They are definitely untrustworthy. Why would anyone who cares about you just believe a smear campaign and not get your side first, at the very least? I personally would never see them in the same way again.

[@AnthonyManzio]

@@loriliberty2706 100%

[@natalie9884]

You are so beautiful

[@andromeda30]

Is there a community for victims of a narcissistic smear campaign? If not, would you like us to make one? I need to share with someone who has experienced something similar and can understand.

[@xse-qb2vv]

Negative commenters need shut thier gobs and open thier big ears. Might learn something.

[@jasonglennmusic]

The ones who post negative comments are the Narcissists!

[@nicoletteovereem8886]

The LINK for the FREE 16 day course does not work!

[@MelanieToniaEvans]

Hi Nicolette, sorry about that! Try this: www.youcanthrivebook.com/freecourse

[@nicoletteovereem8886]

@@MelanieToniaEvans Thank you so very much This link works.

[@mariapilarme]

Easy to say! This person isolate me from my 2 children and grandchildren and you pretend me to get over that? It bothers me, it’s disgusting behavior it’s a crazy person who does that. How you get over loosing your family for goodness sake?

[@juliechurch1799]

Remember they want a reaction ,it's a game .their ill .act like don't care .your family will see

[@lauradempsey2703]

Jump of the hamster wheel