How To Stop Being Angry At Someone Who Hurt You

Anger is a natural feeling and it's usually preceded by sadness, disappointment, loss and whatnot but most of the time, it derails us. We will always have people that will hurt us, it's up to you to create your hero story.
Watch and Enjoy!
Dr. Paul Jenkins
HELP & RESOURCES:
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Website: www.drpauljenkins.com/
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Licensed under Creative Commons - Attribution 3.0
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Video by Nate Woodbury
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[@marywolfe7293]

my anger comes from hurt and the feeling of being disrespected, especially when I know that I am bring treated differently than other people. In other words, it's selective for some people to pick the people they want to take their stuff out on.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Mary - that's a common source. I wish I could wave some magic wand that would have people treating everyone with respect, but since I have no such wand I'm putting my focus on helping people with their choice to respond in a productive way regardless of how people treat us. Wishing you the best! DrPaul

[@ahmedsa2330]

Mary when people disrespect you you juste have to wait for the perfect moment and disrespect them back without angre and they will leave you alone

[@jesserichardson5880]

I feel the same way Mary. Unfortunately there are people out there always looking for someone they can take advantage of. It’s happened to me and it’s very difficult for me not to be mad about it. They’re not always easy to spot but when you’re able to spot them just stay away from them. Nothing good comes from being around people like that.

[@jelw3197]

mary wolfe thats racism

[@earthtoalice]

I feel you Mary. It is such a yucky horrible feeling, and one that I have been struggling with for quite some time. I struggle to know where to go with all of this rage that has built up in me for years, and I end up getting very depressed. I get so angry at the feeling of unfairness and injustice. I am seeking out as much help and guidance as I can get, because I think there are still vital parts of me that still do not understand how to best manage this in real practical ways and move forwards, and pieces of advice like 'let it go,' 'forgive' etc feel too abstract and I need more solid help with how to actually do those things. Imagine if we could figure it out - it would be Wonderful.

[@selenachannel2782]

I'm now angry at me being angry lol

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Watch out for that trap Selena - thanks for watching. DrPaul

[@Dp-hu8pr]

Lol

[@Dp-hu8pr]

Lol

[@littlemissy8356]

Plx don't do that. This video talks down to people, and that doesn't help.

[@baldthanos4614]

You might be hangry☝️🙂

[@Saeg-yog]

I came here angry, then i cried.. then i used my blanket as a cape.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Goth- O, I hope the video helped you work through your emotions. Thank you for watching.

[@parisrain1546]

I used mine as a kleenex.

[@aslreview419]

Tears down my face too.

[@me_eh]

"Sure you have villains in your life, But whats the purpose of a villain? To illuminate you as a hero!" 😯👏👏

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Ash, yep, I have experienced that.

[@verenafreitag8193]

That does me feel better.

[@elanorerigby987]

I searched how to forgive and found this wonderful man who obviously cares very much for others. He explained how I am hurting myself by not forgiving. I won't tell my victim story. I have done enough of that. I have been living with this awful anger. This man has enlightened me to understanding why I am angry. I think I am ready to forgive now. Thank you kind sir.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Elanore Rigby, forgiveness can be a journey for major happenings. I am so glad we are able to connect.

[@kattoledo1501]

When he said "breathe" I started breathing and instantly crying. Now I must watch a video about how to stop being sad with someone who hurt you XD

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Kat Toledo, I hope the video helped. Thank you for being on the channel. There are a couple more videos you might find useful: "Be Grateful When Depressed" - kzbin.info/www/bejne/mZuzin19es5nlac "How To Stay Positive No Matter What - Happiness Is a Choice" - kzbin.info/www/bejne/pKaZaWOGh9ONr9U I think you may also like my book "Pathological Positivity". We are giving it away for free right now, you just pay for the shipping. If that sounds interesting to you, here is the link: drpauljenkins.info/freebook

[@AnDitaLee]

I’m dealing with anger bc my boundaries are being violated

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Andy Lee, that is frustrating. Get clear on what you control and what you don't, then move forward.

[@joseandrada264]

I read somewhere that anger basically exists for defending your boundaries,so don't feel guilty about it "Anger sets your boundaries by walking the perimeter of your psyche and keeping an eye on you, the people around you, and your environment. If your boundaries are broken (through the insensitivity of others, or in any other way), anger comes forward to restore your sense of strength and separateness"

[@rolkstone]

i love this. i get into rages so bad i can feel it physically affecting me. i had the cops called to my house once because neighbor's thought my yelling and crying was two people and not one. i like your down to earth style. your point about how it's not a choice until it feels like one is so spot on and this is the first Ive heard it put that way. it's like ego or something wants to hold onto anger once it starts.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for watching, W M. It is great that you can see how anger is affecting you in multiple ways. Here is to a calmer 2019 for you.

[@Candy-mz5wo]

1- When you are angry activate frontal part of your brain and shut down fight fight part 2- breathe nice and slow. It helps you to reverse anger effect. 3- take it less personal. other people experience same type of hurt. It is not personal. Your not special. Get over yourself it’s not about you. 4- it is about poor desicions of person who hurt you 5- take FULL responsibility of how you feel. when you see there is a choice it becomes a choice. 6 - create a hero story. Don’t be victim become a hero

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I love your summary, Beg Beg. Thank you. Honored to have you at Live On Purpose TV.

[@Candy-mz5wo]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV you have changed my life by there is no hero without villains sentence.

[@Evelyn-lg6sl]

I look in the mirror & I AM THE HERO✨🌟✨

[@meliel1715]

"Take it less personal". Kinda hard when you've been abused for 40 years

[@stingcobra8538]

@@Candy-mz5wo you're*

[@ejackson680]

When the student is ready the teacher will appear. Thank you!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks for watching and commenting, E Jackson.

[@vsanchez9142]

I’ve never heard this saying before. Thank you, you helped me become a little wiser today

[@AlFairoz]

I get so angry I cant control myself and then I just break into a cry and lock myself in my room thanks this really help

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

little panda, glad the video is helpful.

[@littlemissy8356]

How does this help you if you are lockiing yourself in your room?????

[@pancakedreamer8588]

As someone who bottles up most of my anger, I really needed this.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Rhinocom, I am glad it arrived on time for you.

[@SkaterBlades]

I was betrayed by a group of "friends" when i was dealing with depression. I was suicidal and they cast me out of the group after which i attempted suicide. I've been in lockdown for about 4 months now and that sadness has turned to rage and has been festering for months EDIT: For the record it was an LGBT group and i was so pissed at them i was at a point where i was trying to find conversion therapy to become as distant from them as possible. Now I'm reaching a point where i don't feel anything for anyone. No empathy, no joy seeing or talking to others, no sadness, no anger. I'm becoming numb to other people

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

SkaterBlades, it sounds as though you have been dealing with a lot. Not everyone is like the group you were in, there are kind people everywhere. I hope you are getting help to deal with the depression and sadness you are feeling. Reach out to others in different ways. Get in an online group or try to help others.

[@emilygibbons3433]

Please look after yourself. The sun will Shine for you again. God bless you.

[@ashleykindheartministries]

This was so encouraging!!! I see now that I truly forgive my ex for stealing my precious children for four years, and that I am not letting anger overrun my life, but am letting my circumstances create empathy in me, instead of bitterness. Yay JESUS!!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Ashley, this is so inspiring. You will live a happier, healthier life in the long run.

[@amiadaron]

His voice itself is so soothing!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks, amiadaron. And also thank you for being at Live On Purpose TV.

[@vasco1983]

I'm blinded by anger toward someone. I fell for the lies of a woman that told me she was being abused by her husband so I took her to live with me. She would tell me things about him that were horrid, she had a lot of issues mentally and emotionally, but back then I couldn't see it was an act so that she could manipulate me by playing victim. I broke up with her because she drove me crazy many times with nonsense arguments. We share the same workplace so it's hard for me to avoid her, and to make matters worse she's back with her husband, and apparently being way happier than ever, as if I was the instrument to fix their relationship. I spent money on lawyers when I was trying to help her, all money from hard earned savings, spent money to find her an apartment when we broke up... I don't mind her being with someone, finding a partner, but GOING BACK WITH HIM??? It makes me feel like the stupidest human being on the earth. And I feel like she's mocking me now because that guy goes to my workplace to check her. I want the worst for them, I can't help it. I swear I pray God for them to be so happy that they might decide to move somewhere else, but I'm lying to myself... It's driving me crazy... Can't help it, I want retribution. How can I feel pity for them when I see her rubbing in my face that she's happy with that bastard?? Again, I don't mind her being with someone, I'm convinced of my decision of breaking up with her, but her being back with him is the biggest offense life could give me after all the sacrifice I did.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

vasco 1983, it sounds like you aren't moving on from the relationship. Consider coaching, you can get a fresh outlook on the situation and figure out how to move past this episode and begin to care for something else.

[@bufubufu8258]

Wow i thought my situation was bad . U should watch ams video so you cant spot a women like that incase you meet someone like that again

[@BEAUTYnIQ]

@vasco1983 .. consider they deserve each other .. consider you dodged a bullet by getting out Now .. consider if shes that emotionally immature that she drives him crazy too .. consider she left a man which she had solemnly vowed and promised to and that broken promise of hurt and lies could hav been you, with children, plus affected your family, etc etc .. consider that acting out like that in a rela is only a sign of a much deeper problem .. consider with that pattern that their manifestation of issues will repeat itself again .. consider that if one has to 'act' happily renewed around you its probably not that 'happy' .. consider that in time youll realize you were played but at least you were real .. consider that the lessons we are taught mean the most when we love ourselves enough to giv us permission to Heal .. I hope you know the spirit on which I say this, my friend ..

[@littlemissy8356]

Never, never get involved between 2 people's romantic affair for any reason.

[@lizabella4885]

Vasco1983 the woman sounds like a narrsastic person,.. Hopefully you've healed from it,.. You were dooped!.. I hear ya,.. But it's been almost a year for me,.. & I still get flare ups of anger,.. It's just the process I guess we need to go threw,..

[@meliel1715]

My anger comes from over 35 years of abuse, mockery, being on the receiving end of rage from my sister. I feel disgusted calling her "my" sister. She is a horrible narcissist & psychopath. And hating her makes me physically ill. I have forgiven her 50000 times at least. I don't want to do it anymore. She is reckless and doesn't care about anybody's feelings. She mocks my 75 year old mother and winks at me as if it's a joke.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Meli El, Boundaries and distance may help you. I understand it may be difficult to cut all ties as you have your mother to consider, but you can let her know you won't be interacting with her.

[@kenziemacdonald4386]

Thank you so much😭😭 this has helped me so much. You are a true gift for sharing this with us.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

So grateful that the video resonated with you, Kenzie MacDonald. Welcome to Live On Purpose TV.

[@fionam3735]

I went from trauma to fear to confusion to resentment and to anger sometimes in no particular order.. My ex husband and parents got together and ruined my reputation and sadly want me destroyed. My ex has control issues and manipulates people easily, my parents live in total denial of anything that doesn’t suit them and being called out threatens them. I have been the scapegoat and black sheep all because I seek the truth. I have been treated worse than a murderer however I am free to find my own tribe and rewrite my story. I thank god for people like you and many others that have helped keep the light on in what was a dark place 🙏

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Grace Kelly, you are very welcome, thanks for being a part of our positive community.

[@carolbenavidez2228]

Been obsessed over hurt and it's destroying me. Then I found this video. Shocked at how differently you presented this, especially about making my reaction a choice as opposed to helplessly drowning in rage. I believe this video will be a positive turning point. THANK YOU!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad it was helpful! Carol Banavidez, welcome to Live On Purpose.

[@loveandllife]

Anger is a natural response when we perceive that our boundaries have been violated if you meet someone stronger, also it is a response when you try to control someone weaker that’s why we see so many angry parents at their kids or angry husbands at their wives. Instead of analysing your feelings get yourself in a stronger position and make the other people choose how they feel. I stopped being polite and nice to bullies, I challenge them and if they get angry they can practice what dr Positive tells them.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Love and Light, I hear what you are saying, but I think anger is a secondary emotion and there is a primary emotion that is not being dealt with that triggers the anger. Thank you for your thoughtful comment.

[@joseandrada264]

"Anger sets your boundaries by walking the perimeter of your psyche and keeping an eye on you, the people around you, and your environment. If your boundaries are broken (through the insensitivity of others, or in any other way), anger comes forward to restore your sense of strength and separateness."

[@foxie8638]

I'm repeating myself but... This is pure gold!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I don't get tired of hearing it : )

[@lemaianh5746]

Thank God I came across this video. Anger consumed me and it made me feel weak and depressed. Worse than feeling angry at others, I felt angry at myself for allowing myself to be misled. But will work on myself now. Thank you!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Sounds like a great plan.

[@robertadams5863]

I'm suffering through severe depression. Just watched about 5 to 6 videos of yours. And it helped a lot. Thanks a lot for spreading smiles and helping in my depressed times. 😃

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Robert Adams, honored to be a member of your team.

[@theducklinghomesteadandgar6639]

I have watched three of your videos this morning and I have been struggling with the subjects of the videos I watched!!! Thank you so much for sharing and posting these videos!!! You have instantly helped me with so much!!! All my love and blessings & grace from our LORD ABOVE, today and always!!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

A hearty Live On Purpose welcome to The Ducking Homestead and Gardens! So honored to be on your team - glad you're here. DrPaul

[@micheledomin-jones4062]

Is it possible to have tears of understanding ? This gave me so much clarity I’m now crying

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Michele Domin-Jones, Yes, absolutely. Our emotions come out in different ways. You are now ready to take it to the next level.

[@sherryhawn9357]

I love how you break it down to bite-sized thoughts and actions - so helpful and digestible!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Sherry Hawn, honored to be on your team.

[@jacoblutz1818]

This video was the most helpful 10 minutes I had in over 9 months. God bless you!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Jacob Lutz, thank you. Glad to have you at Live on Purpose TV.

[@daliadeak1015]

‘There’s a reason why you’re having challenges, it’s to illuminate you as a hero!’ Love this entire video, thank you so much :)

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Dalia Deak, honored to be on your team.

[@albertstubbs4492]

" i was going kind of crazy a moment ago with anger " ... man so happy i find this page thanks man god bless you. I feal alot better.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, Albert Stubbs. I am so glad the video helped. Please feel free to come back to this video anytime, or maybe another video on the channel can be of some assistance to you. Thanks for watching, it's an honor to be on your team.

[@albertstubbs4492]

Thank you , God bless you .

[@steffwyatt1862]

Love this! After leaving my abusive ex of five years (me and my daughter were assessed as high risk by our local domestic abuse service), nearly 5 years after leaving him and 1 year after moving out of the same area as him, I’m no longer in the level of survival mode I was in a year ago and before. I can finally look at my feelings without a sense of imminent danger around me. I was good at looking at my feelings and choosing how to feel, but that was still alongside living 500 metres away from my ex on a restraining order so it was harder. I can do it fully now without looking over my shoulder. This is a really good video. And now I’m volunteering in domestic abuse. I started creating my hero story 4 years ago and it’s really paying off now! I love my story!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for sharing! Your story has hope and I know it will help someone.

[@anp7997]

Dear sir First of all i want to thank you for uploading this video I have gained so much by just listening and following you You are a great teacher and a guru. Your knowledge is deep and you have healing power. May God bless you with the best things on earth. You are a blessing to mankind. I just don't have enough words to thank you. In this evil world people like you are true heroes Thanks so much sir. Lots of respect

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Wow, I am very grateful for your comment, A N. Thank you. I also appreciate you being a part of the Live On Purpose community. : )

[@tommykaira8775]

Dr Paul Jenkins is the GOAT of emotional advice and counselling, no one even comes close to him handling complex issues such as this like a pro. Thank you Dr Paul keep up the good work.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks, Tommy. Honored to be on your team.

[@elaine170]

Damn! That’s what I needed! That repressed and anger is coming out. My dad was abusive so I learned anger was bad. Well that’s what I associated that emotion. I felt the anger and I release it!!! I’m living now!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I'm so glad the video helped, ElleJ! Thanks for watching Live On Purpose TV.

[@latiatowlai8848]

I love this - I am hero and the villains only exist to make me shine! This statement is going in my art journal. Thank you so much 💓💗💛💖☺

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Latia Towlai, that sounds like fun.

[@nancybrooklyn]

Thank you so much for showing the 4 sides of anger /victim and also how an angry person can change their perspective to handle anger and victimhood in a unique way! My brother has been holding onto this anger / victimhood against one person for over 7 years .. I plan on sharing this video with him!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for sharing, nancybrooklyn. I hope your brother is able to let go of the anger and begin healing.

[@joseandrada264]

I think it's easy to ubderstand that we get angry when we are hurt. Ironically the people who get angry the most, tends to be the nicer and caring ones

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Interesting thought. I hadn't noticed that.

[@littlemissy8356]

This video totally talks down to people. That is the last thing anyone needs who is looking for information.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Little Missy, sorry you feel that way.

[@Jets1713]

Ex roommates in my university crossed a lot of boundaries with me and knew it bothered me when I couldn’t sleep because of there inappropriate behaviors. When I approached it. I got gaslight because I was the bad guy but these things that aren’t allowed on campus in the first place. I left but I still feel angry they walked all over me. I will move on, but I have no obligation to forgive them.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am glad you are moving on for yourself.

[@taidilla]

This was the video that really helped me deal with a situation that's overwhelmed me for almost a year. All other video just blame you and make you even more angry. But this calmed me and gave me practical guide to move forward

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for letting me know. Better days ahead.

[@lisawhite1548]

Thank you for this video, it has helped me a lot. After accepting #3, taking full responsibility for my feelings, it also helped me a lot to read the 7 stages of grief to realize what feelings I've been having and what feelings are normal. My loss and anger had nothing to do with the death of a person but loss of a part of my life. The stages of grief are the same. Thank you for you channel and all the work that you are doing!!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Lisa White, honored to be on your team.

[@pavitrashanbhag8338]

All your videos are so enlightening and empowering. Thank you.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are so welcome, Pavitra Shanbhag.

[@hope9672]

"It's not a choice until you see it as one" - awesome

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

It really is! Love your screen name, Hope.

[@hope9672]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank u! =)

[@alixhice]

Wow. I’ve recently been through a highly traumatic experience and have been working on my box of anger. This advice is really going to help me on my way. Thank you Dr Paul.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome.

[@SunshineBlueSkies]

Wow thank you for explaining that so perfectly. I just hope I can remember it and use it. Thank you

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

That's the great thing about the video, you can watch it again at any time, Patience S. Honored to be on your team.

[@yoyoyo5621]

oh that kinda shifted the perspective for me. When I think of it as sort of human adversity we all share. This is about me overcoming adversity and becoming a real hero...

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Yo Yoyo, yes, you can do this.

[@kirstyriver7689]

This is so well done. This video deeply changes my mood when I watch it when angry. Which is rare. So well put and thanks.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, thanks for being here.

[@seanyshepfit]

I'm angry that someone I trusted and really cared about betrayed my trust and disrespected me completely.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am so sorry. It may take some time.

[@suetucker9264]

We all have lessons to learn in this life, and we only grow from adversity; Consider it a gift rather than a punishment!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Sue Tucker, frame it to benefit you.

[@suetucker9264]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV Beats the alternative!

[@jenmascaro4014]

Damn! That was some tough love right there. Helpful though and I’ve needed it, for months. Thank you.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Honored to be on your team.

[@yurinhaschmidt3082]

Thank you Dr Jenkins! (And to your wife too, she is wonderful as well!). I am so surprised that you don’t have more views… you really illustrate how to handle the anger emotion effectively and live a thriving life despite of challenges. God bless you and your family.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, yurinha. Our pleasure.

[@sunnypark4096]

Dr. Paul, I strongly agree with you ... choice for changes. To need support in dealing with discouragement, anxiety, and the realization of painful truths about themselves.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Sunny Park, well said.

[@instructivesilence359]

Amazing advice! Exactly what I needed to hear. I am a better person for having watched this video. Thank you.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Honored to be on your team.

[@greenpea9412]

Wow, well I don't know what to say other than thank you for the wake up call. I am absolutely feeling each and everything you said in the first four examples of anger. I don't want to feel as I do which is why I searched for some reasoning. I now feel like I have some help getting past my anger. I have had it all the time but didn't see it this way. Moving past how I feel will still not be easy but I at least can start working on a constructive way to get out of this misserable moment in time. I have been holding onto my anger for well over a year and it has dimmenished who I am inside. It has affected my work and relationship with others. I have always known it's going to be me that needs to change my mind set but my hate and anger have kept me feeling sorry for myself. No excuse for me to continue with the blame game. Sir I want to say thank you and I hope you see my comments and know you have helped a complete stranger find himself again. I am grateful.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Your post made my day. Better days ahead for you and everyone in your life.

[@amelianashe6947]

This guy is GOOD. LOVE the use of humour and reverse psychology! Made me laugh my way out of my anger and prevented defensiveness. Very helpful too.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, glad to hear the video is helpful for you.

[@Juicybeachgirls]

“It’s not my fault, UGHH!” Hahhha I love it!😆

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Rock monster, no blame game here.

[@ellenmary8075]

Wow its not rocket science, how do you know this stuff . Your talk is simply put, easy to understand and no BS. Thank you so much it really made me think

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are very welcome, it it the result of over 30 years of education and experience. Glad we can connect.

[@excellentchoices]

Thank you Dr. Paul once again 👍👍 it’s so amazing how we always have choice and control.... May we all choose to take responsibility for our stuff and do our best to become hero’s 🙏 that’s my plan 👍👍

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are very welcome, Susan. Glad you are in our positive parenting community.

[@lindavarghese9949]

SUPERBBBBBBBB DR PAUL .thanks alotttttttt for ur valuable advices ....

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Linda Varghese, glad you enjoyed the video, great to hear from you.

[@tatianaferraz3496]

Wonderful lecture! If I may, I'll humbly suggest a future video. Perhaps an actual case, (or a hypothetical one), to illustrate better the steps, showing how to (errounosly) proceed if one chooses the mysery side, and on the flipside, how to correctly react following the "virtuous" steps. Thank you sir for your contributions.

[@RushLoftis]

You’re awesome dude

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

No... YOU'RE Awesome Rush Loftis! DrPaul

[@kinglas9056]

....what's with the pfp-

[@MegsCarpentry-lovedogs]

Whoosh! This vid is recalled up on the playlist as the hurt of betrayal resurfaced. Didn't see the betrayal coming either! Love your passion Dr. Paul. Get a great kick out of your expressions while you talk. Awesome! If one thinks about it, the adversity and villans bring some of us to your video's where YOU get to shine as a HERO! AWESOME EH! 💯. 💚Positivity idea is that the betrayal has awakened me to notice that I need more work on being hurt, accepting it etc. Plus, I get to revisit your video's eh! 😉 Thank you Dr. Paul. Hope you had an OK day. 😀 🇨🇦

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Meg's Carpentry, I like how you are facing this latest betrayal and taking the positive steps to put it into perspective and move past to create something better.

[@emberlite]

Thanks for posting this video. I may need to watch it a few more times before it sinks in. I just started a new job (3 months in) and already I'm getting attitude even though I keep to myself, and treat others with kindness, work super hard and help out. I always start each day fresh and I'm really aware of my internal state. I also go to therapy but I feel like I'm just learning to deal with OTHER peoples' bad behavior. Even if I have a horrible day, I could never take it out on someone or treat them rudely. I think it's important to cultivate compassion. It boggles my mind that other people are so unaware of their internal state and can easily take it out on people or not listen to others. It just feels like I have to bear everyones' poor emotional regulation. I can be really nice (which honestly should just be the damn baseline standard but it isn't,) and I think people think they can take advantage of it even though I can set healthy boundaries and say "no." I literally do not get what is so hard about being nice to people!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Amber Mitchell, life just goes better for everyone when we are kind. I am glad you understand that the only person you can control is yourself. I hope your positiveness wears off on the others around you.

[@duanewente457]

Thank you.. I've been through the hurt, the blaming myself, and was just into the blaming them part... Was recently in a break-up where I didn't want to go anywhere but they wanted to leave.. It's been tough. I appreciate your help.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad you are here in our community, Duane Wente. Thank you for sharing.

[@deidraroberts9628]

I want my kids to be able to look up to me. I don't want to be angery. I'm going to choose to not be angery. And set an example.!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You're on it - yes! DrPaul

[@churchmouse2146]

Remember - the emptier to pot - the quicker it boils.

[@generalcrisis3650]

Mind blown when he said we should not take it personally for "it's not new, there have been thousands of other people in history who went through same things when they were in your situation. It's inevitable when you are one of the citizens on the planet earth"

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Chelsea Han, honored to be on your team.

[@pumpkin3731]

Your videos are so informative and they make me laugh. Thank you.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, honored to be on your team.

[@lidijabasanovic9779]

Clean, simple, true, strong, an advice forever. Thank you 🌷

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are so welcome, Lidija.

[@domkill777]

My ex girlfriend hurt me pretty bad… She was very emotionally abusive for most of our relationship. She broke up with me on my birthday and then died in a car accident 2 weeks later. The night after I found out she was cheating on my for a year. I’m be been holding on to this deep hatred because I was never able to tell her how I really feel about her. And I never will be able to… I’m sick for feeling this way but it’s hard to let go because of how close we were. Thanks for the video, this was helpful on finding a different way of approaching how to get over this.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Dominic Cocove, I wish you the best as you heal.

[@evederh6609]

Ok, wow. 10 minutes ago I was sitting here with an angry face on, i literally searched for 'what to do when you're super angry at someone u used to care about a lot'. Cause my story short: 2 of my closest friends just left me in a hard time in my life, cause they wanted 'a fresh start'. And now they're all showing of with their new friends. But this man just got into my brain, and he explains it so funny. So thank you! I think the most important thing i learned is to let myself 'grieve' before I want to feel better immediately.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Eve Derh, glad the video arrived to you in time to help. I bet there are good things ahead for you.

[@evederh6609]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you

[@skym821]

Haha oh this guy is so real. Laughing at parts. Great video.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Sky Mackenzie, thanks for tuning in.

[@sudhakarankandaswamy9776]

I'm a hero now. Thanks.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

sudhakaran kandaswamy, yes you are! Now you know you are capable of rising high and helping others. Thank you for watching.

[@katherinelydon7306]

Your videos have given me hope and practical advice. Thank you. I especially like how you explain how to forgive someone, dealing with anger and how not to take things personally. You are truly gifted.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks, Katherine.

[@flesheffigy875]

I'm not sure if people feel the same way. I don't personally know anyone that has the emotional depth that I've experienced, because I can't, but probably more because no one talks about it. Outside of therapy sessions, people don't really relate anymore. No one needs anyone anymore, we're all disposable. Just swipe left until you find someone you feel like taking things from.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I hear what you are saying, Stillwater Savage. I hope you can develop a few deep relationships. You are valuable.

[@eponymoususer8923]

I think a lot of the anger at people who are trying to hurt you is that it’s not about you. It’s a problem that you’re not being considered important, you’re not respected in the situation, and that invisibility and invalidation creates the hurt that needs protection. That’s what the anger does. A person sees invisibility as a threat, and anger makes certain they’re seen.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Yes, they want to lash out. Anger is secondary to the other need in their life.

[@eponymoususer8923]

Taking that into account, I think it’s less that they WANT to lash out, and more that it’s an instinct that’s just too much of a challenge for them to overcome. They lack the emotional development and resources to handle the situation with anything but the crudest of emotional tools.

[@onlybff]

I will control of being angry. Thanks for your great method great advice. Im glad I found this platform. Thanks again

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am glad you found us, please share with others.

[@vjcarter4657]

LOL. Love it. That’s EXACTLY what we do! And what I am currently doing!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Wonderful! Best of luck to you.

[@gaillethco8569]

I purposely searched for this video because I found myself becoming a very angry person with many other issues related to my anger. Like going into a rage mode or violent threats verbally abusing my husband striking out like a viper towards anyone who makes me feel angry or unhappy. I felt bad I didn’t realize how much this condition was affecting me and my family. Until I found myself in the middle of a emotional nightmare. Literally torturing myself at the same time believing that I was hurting the person who made me feel that way. No honey I’m sorry but not only did my rage and violence deter them from me. But otherwise it causes the person to be angry and upset with me because they don’t understand why I behave so bad omg. I’m not proud of myself for being so angry and vicious with my words. I’m not that person I’m a good person and very compassionate towards others but I found myself becoming more and more angry 😡 without even knowing why? I love my family I love myself I love people and I don’t want anything else to be in my mind and heart except love and compassion for another person who comes into my life. I hope I don’t ever repeat this terrible thing again and I pray my victims who have been hurt or anything wrong I done towards them can forgive me because this is not who I am for sure.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Gail Lethco, you are a good person and need to figure out what is going on so you can let that good person show. You may benefit from some one on one coaching to figure out what is happening. If you want to talk to one of our coaches, set up a time at www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall to find out what we offer.

[@thetruthshallsetyoufree5092]

Thank you for making these extremely helpful videos. I wish with all my heart I had forgiven my mother. I forgive her now.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad you have come to that point, it will free up so much for you.

[@dalmagrosz9734]

I hate myself when I’m angry. I do not look inside my own heart and mind. I always start pointing fingers instead understanding them. Specially my loved ones.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Dalma Grosz, it takes a big person to see their faults and put them out there. You are on the road to working on something that will make a huge difference in your life.

[@stevestegman998]

I cannot thank you enough,how it makes clear sense,life love,attretion is all a choice,its how we think,and react and survive persaonal trials and diffuculties is what matters.God bless you Dr Paul and your sharing of knowldege..😀

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks, Steve Stegman, honored to be on your team.

[@tamradenoyer473]

Such good information. Thank you!!!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Tamra, you are welcome.

[@zvimusic8432]

Your my hero! Much love from New Zealand 🙏💚

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, ZVI MUSIC.

[@KLT828]

This has really helped me. Thank you😌

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Kelsey T, Glad the video is helpful to you, honored to be on your team.

[@ljj2779]

The insight in this video was very needed. I’ve been dealing with anger and resentment for years and this video was very spot on.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Ljj277, I hope you are getting to the point where you can remove the anger and resentment so you can feel peace.

[@kellyjackson5512]

The full responsibility for how you feel, I do this and it really turns the tables in your brain because you lose the victim mentality. It’s another hurt emotion that leaves your brain xxx

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Be an agent. Things always go better that way.

[@caroline-pm4mo]

My sister who’s 23 has assaulted me (I’m 16) several times and never apologizes and it infuriates me because my parents always take her side. She’s a narcissist brat with anger issues and I’m ALWAYS the punching bag of her angry outbursts. And we have to live together.

[@shay8183]

I am so sorry. Thats sad that u have to deal with that. I hope things change

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

caroline, your sister does not have the right to abuse and assault you. If your parents are not providing safety for you, reach out to another adult.

[@mindfulnessasia1082]

One of the greatest emperors of this world once described the glories of forgiveness. If there were not persons in this world who exercised forgiveness, then chaos would soon prevail. If kings and other superiors give way to anger, then the distressed people would quickly meet with ruin. If inferiors do not tolerate their superiors’ admonishments, then sin will take root and destroy mankind. The wise consider him a man of character who restrains his wrath. The pious always praise such a man because they understand that the forgiving man is always victorious. One who represses his anger even when antagonized rejoices in the next world. For this it is said that a wise man, whether strong or weak and even if in difficulty, should always forgive his persecutor.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Beautifully said. I hope others take the time to read and ponder.

[@tranlenamphuong6192]

I had an awful experience and I don’t know how to deal with it. A girl in my class didn’t respond to our group task, so when I asked her if she understood the assignment, she called me racist. For the both times I spoke with her and the school , the focus was only on her and wether or not I’m the racist one. I’m not even white, I’m Asian and I’ve only spoken to her 3 times before the incident. And now I’m angry and frustrated at the situation because she made me feel awful and I was way more hurt than she did but she was able to lie and get out of it unscathed.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am sorry this has happened to you. I would stay away from her as much as possible. Chalk it up to a learning experience as you know what is in your heart and your intent, they don't.

[@kevint7649]

I never used to get angry. Just tired of losing despite trying my best. Than came the bullying.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am sorry you went through that. I hope you got the resources to help you, if not, look into counseling.

[@cmralph...]

I wanna see how well he uses this advice when someone breaks his heart in a million pieces. LOL

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

CM Ralph, I am sorry.

[@mariaavdelas534]

Ran across this accidentally, and I have a question...so someone hurts you. They do something, it may or may not be deliberate. Instead of blowing up, you breathe, you make that choice to not react. But by doing so, doesn't that give(them and others that may have witnessed the interaction) the impression that their behavior is acceptable?

[@penguin06102011]

I agree with this.... my sister (14 months older) bullies me when we was younger, she calls me up one day and tell her 8 year old son the horrible things she use to do to me and laugh about it with her son. He is the only nephew on my side. So I decided to laughed it out with her in front of him. This is what the abusers do when they don't have anything better. There are these idiots that just won't leave you alone no matter if you move 350 miles away or all is grown and have kids. You may be able to help many of us with these problems Doc. But how about the 2020 charts of suicidality rates that goes on now? 1 person dies by suicide every 40 seconds. By 2030, it will be over 20%. Is it because we CHOSEN to be victims and not heroes? Doc. I don't really question your teaching, or finding facts. Honestly, sometime reality for a person is now how we control it or try to get out, or stay out of the relationship with those that hurt us. Please remember this; we are humans yes true... what if those demons aren't just voices in your head that you're incapable of just ignoring? It is actually them that follows you just to poison you and push that guilt and hurt. While you are in stress mode, here they are just waiting for your moment to burst just to stomp on you. In all do respect sir, even the law only can do so much. Maybe by that time the one are crazy are perceived as normal and the one who act normal are the crazies. My folk escaped the communist world to America. Yes, they escape the Khmer rouge and they saw ⅓ of their beloved country died. They had survive but to only stay alive by self medicating with alcohol. As the effect of my generation we get the after math PTSD and more with it. We had taught to survive not taught that we can be loved. Yes, trouble at home with screaming nightmares by them, arguing and the stories about the genocide they embedded. You have helped many... but how can you help those that are suffering through something like this? We, Cambodian are remember with the holocaust museum.... but the ones born in America like me, our parents survive but those memories of what they suffered through is embedded as we in our generations take on the guilt and have to be embedded with reminders of where we are from.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Maria Avdelas, not necessarily. It doesn't mean you don't say anything, it just means that you do it calmly.

[@solitude9665]

I just came across your video.... thank you I really needed this advise.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Deepali Kasargod, honored to be on your team.

[@kinghuds]

Thanks bro for the talk

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome.

[@christinagreaves7932]

Gosh ! Who are you ! How did i get here ,??? Thank god i found you , i was so angry about my neboir , ive calmed down now , youre brilliant 😊😊😊😊😊

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Christina Greaves, that is why I started KZbin, to connect to people who I would never meet. Awesome platform.

[@zohraimam]

You are a hero of your own life if you want to be happy distribute happiness or go for long walk or Simply Smile 🎉

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Beautifully said.

[@zohraimam]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank You 💖

[@silviuandreiiacoban3962]

lmfao at the social media part ; that’s what i did 🤣🤣

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Sounds like it worked for you!

[@aslreview419]

Thank you. I am doing the first way. I’m gonna try your second approach.

[@anthonymorales842]

I don't like being angry it's a like veil, cloak a filter where everything I see is colored by the anger. It did help and hurt a great deal that the person that was hurting me is no longer in my life. Hurt people hurt people now that I know this I have great compassion for this person.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

anthony morales, I am glad you can see how the other person could be dealing with their own hurt. Thank you for commenting.

[@papichulo5792]

Thank you this helped me! Changed my vibration from low and now I’m smiling

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am so happy to hear that, Papi Chulo. It's an honor to be on your team.