What To Do With A Child With Anger Management Issues

Have you noticed that your child's temper hasn't been nice? Kids go through different developmental stages that oftentimes lead to frustration and then anger. Here's what you can do about it.
Watch and Enjoy!
Dr. Paul Jenkins
For a FREE digital copy of my mini-book, Portable Positivity, visit this link:
bit.ly/2PoIDam
LINKS & RESOURCES:
========================
Website: www.drpauljenkins.com/
Books & CD’s: drpauljenkins.com/products/
The Parenting Power-up Audio Course: parentingpowerup.com/
Free digital copy of Portable Positivity: bit.ly/2PoIDam
MUSIC
========================
Track: Kisma - We Are [NCS Release]
Music provided by NoCopyrightSounds.
Watch: • Kisma - We Are | House...
Licensed under Creative Commons - Attribution 3.0
========================
Video by Nate Woodbury
BeTheHeroStudios.com
/ natewoodburyhero
#LiveOnPurpose
#PositiveParenting

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

What If My Child Just Doesn't Care About Consequences - kzbin.info/www/bejne/e6ackHiOlruthdE

[@5ft3inbeauty]

The link to the free e-book doesn't work.

[@scottbateman4318]

I have come from a place where loving, caring parenting was non existent! Unfortunately I have absorbed a lot of my parents disengaged, self centered style of parenting and it devastates me constantly. My beautiful kids are the most precious thing to me in the world so thank you for giving me the tools to work & be the dad they deserve!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

It is all about having the skills, Scott Bateman, and you can learn these. You can change the cycle.

[@sfree322]

Your comment hit me like an emotional ton of bricks! Your acknowledgment of where you are and your goal of where you want to be shows your humility and your strong desire for change. Also, don’t be shy about telling your kids that you’re sorry and you’re really trying to do better; it shows them you care. I wish you and your family all the happiness you deserve!

[@miffedcuttlefish6139]

Just make sure to remind your kids that the outside world is not going to owe them the same kindness, and compassion your household will afford them. And when they go out and find that out, they'll feel like they should be entitled to it. And that is hardly ever the case. 😉 It's a joy to know there are people who take on parenting as a chance for self improvement also. Good luck, and YOU CAN DO IT!

[@cjm537]

I hear you Scott 🙋🏻‍♂️ Parenting is challenging & it's easy to repeat our parents' style. I believe when you or any parent recognize that then you are way ahead & can make the change 🦸‍♂️ Parenting is challenging yet so important 💗 I'm learning every day with my child too 🕵️‍♂️🦸‍♂️ God Bless 👼🙏✝️💗

[@alibee6281]

I'm there with you. Im struggling alot as a parent to my 5 year old. I also didn't have loving parenting and as result have a lot of anger myself.

[@amiensarabellis8391]

Emotions are so contagious. One has to consciously and deliberately determine not catch the other person's anger. A very challenging thing to do!!! So adults need to humbly work on their own emotional intelligence.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Amiens Arabellis, so true. If we each worked on our emotional intelligence, the next generation would benefit so much (and so would we).

[@kristidelgado1169]

That’s why it’s called “parenting” and not “childing” it’s the parents who are actually being trained!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Haha, so true, Kristi Delgado. I will use this one.

[@emmag8620]

Kristi Delgado is bad 😡🥵🤬🤬🤬

[@emmag8620]

Live On Purpose TV 📺

[@anastasiabraucht2645]

and the Nannies!!! I need major "nanning"

[@adivinebeing]

I just had an empathic breakdown because I realized that the children only copy how the adults react in the house, including me, I needed this video so I can learn how to better respond, rather than react and prepare for my own children. Thank you.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Dee, you can do this. We are here for you.

[@adivinebeing]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you SO MUCH! You’re a blessing.

[@n2ativebyn8ure83]

This happened to me recently also and it was a very hard but necessary pill to swallow

[@vernaharris4700]

Please remember to pray for your child daily. This has helped me when nothing else seems to work.🙏

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Verna Harris, it can be a powerful thing.

[@nixodian]

Pray to Allah? Yaweh? Which of the 10sand 1000s of conflicting non reconcilable interpretations of?

[@vernaharris4700]

@@nixodian I pray to the God of the Holy Bible.

[@Frandy1970]

@@vernaharris4700 indeed...The Holy Spirit calms everyone when He is present in the home. Invoke and invite Him daily.That is key...

[@HiThereImFootloose]

I find that making a blood sacrifice to Bael and sometimes doing a little incantation helps drive out demons when nothing else works.

[@neverstopdreeeming]

A-Plus!!! In fact, I'm gonna use "when you can talk to me, with the same voice that I'm using with you, we can solve this" at my JOB!!!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

YES! We need to be more civil and be accountable wherever we are.

[@libertyloveslife5602]

Anyone with kids who are really aggressive look up PCIT training.., it’s changed the dynamic in my house. Much more calm and peaceful.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for the suggestion.

[@Missy-Leigh]

The most honest thing I can say about being a parent is that it is shattering. In amazing ways and devastating ways. The louder my little one gets, the softer, more quiet my voice gets.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am glad to hear you are controlling what you can control, missY sterlinG. You are right, there are so many emotions that come with parenting. No one can be totally prepared for it. We just have to experience it to understand. Thank you for commenting.

[@franceshaggitt3104]

Me too I get scAred

[@sarac.3259]

I find these talks so useful, both for my daughter (now a teenager) and for the children I work with (I am a teaching assistant working with 8-10 year olds, with a special interest in looking after children's emotional wellbeing). I found when my daughter was three or four, she would get incredibly angry about certain things, such as having to stay home if she was ill (she loved school and learning). I would let her have a shout and a stomp, leave it a while and then later on ask her about what happened, and we would talk it through. Sometimes I would get a doll or teddy to have a tantrum and then we would talk to the toy in a calm way about what what was going on. Then next time we saw a "storm" on the horizon (eg missing school or not being able to do something) we could pre-empt the situation before it got to meltdown. Thanks, Paul - all so helpful.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Sara C., you are brilliant. Calm and taking the steps to teach her how to become emotionally resilient. Wonderful.

[@annacama8313]

Currently having a foster child who is 2 and very aggressive, with herself, and others. Trying my best to stay as empathetic as possible. Thank you for this.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Anna Cama, you are very welcome.

[@janayar4300]

I wish I would have found your videos a few years ago and learned all this stuff as you're absolutely amazing. Like I have taken a ton of courses on parenting children with ADHD and anger management and learned a lot but the way you explain things it is a lot simpler to understand and it is explained a lot better so far. As I have a son who is 13 in a few weeks and a daughter who will be 11 but acts like a 18yr old in behaviors like being little miss mom I joke around about when people ask me what she is like. She is extremely mature for her age and so is my oldest son but he does have anger issues that we have been working on. And I have a heck of a time to get them to even go upstairs to grab me something without them demanding $5 as they get paid from my parents when they are they to pick something up off the floor and no matter how many times I tell my parents as a single mother that was force to retire due to an injury preventing me from being able to work it is something I can't do and that they need to set it as something as you get a sticker or so for doing these chores and when you get this many you get this or that. And my parents will agree and then keep doing what they have been doing.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Janaya R, hopefully in a family we do nice things for one another. I am glad you found the videos and are in our community.

[@fedwaouslimane2324]

My son is 4 and this evening had a tantrum, a storm, as you described it. Thankfully, I could remain calm even though it wasen't that easy as I am pregnant at 39 weeks!! Parenting is a big responsablity really !! Thank you so much for all that you share with us. Love & Respect from Canada ❤.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Fedwa Ouslimane, honored to be on your team.

[@Chrissy-Jay]

Ea

[@Angela-vn7sz]

I started crying on ”get some help!”. Thank you so much 💛🙏

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are so welcome

[@CrimeDoesNotPay]

Simply incredible video. First time seeing your channel. Thank you for taking the time to put this together!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@roadrunner3232]

My ADHD child has anger issues.. throwing things, lot of shouting at home .😥. Thank you for this video.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Anu Menon, you are welcome. I hope the video helped - thank you for watching. We do have more on the Positive Parenting playlist that I hope you can also find useful: kzbin.info/aero/PLq2mRDkHEBPCclxt6agg3wrLBRkL7CCwU

[@hildautria3851]

Same here

[@taym_playz7]

Aq

[@hildautria3851]

I have had good results with adding biofeedback to your mental health team along with adhd coaching.

[@coreypacillo8204]

Same.

[@pheonix9821]

My younger sister is having anger issues and you know I have been in that place so I can understand that she is now going through puberty .... I am trying my best to be patient with her and understand her ... I know that I am not the best so I wanted to do some more research so that I can be more efficient and your video was really useful

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

PHEONIX, thank you. I love that you are getting more information and ideas on how to help her.

[@plusstigris1]

I can't get enough of your motivating videos...thank you so much for sharing these ideas with us! I'm a europen mom of 3 little ones and sometimes (often:) feel quite lost. By listening to you I get confidence immediately, and know that things are just all right. Thank you for having you.:)

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

KNV Katalin, sounds like you are right on track! Thankful you are watching.

[@mariabarraza4871]

Thank you Dr Paul your videos are awesome 👏 very helpful to me. It’s what I needed to learn .

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Isn't it great when we get a message at the time we need it? Honored to be a part of your team, Maria Barraza.

[@brandymariegrizzard9617]

Hello! I just want to say, and let you all know, you are my new (first and only I blushling admit) life coach! I never believed in any of this "calming demeanor" type of attitude approach to ANY of life's situations. But I soon learned from you, my first mistake was looking at life as just that, a situation! You have tough me so much in such a short period of time, and can't start our end a day without your positive advise. I want to say thank you, because as a human yourself, you never fail to not give good advice on daily living pushing your own to the side of just for a moment to help others first. You have no idea how you have changed my life by making me see myself as a company different person.... No matter how hard self admittance actually was. Your an amazingly beautiful person, and I truly respect you and your words!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Brandy Marie Grizzard, I am so honored to be on your team.

[@samanthavanhees793]

Our daughter is almost 3, and she is very strong-willed and she is verbally strong. She has had a period of throwing tantrums, yelling, even slapping me. It was better and I was so happy about that, since I'm dealing with anxiety and a depression myself. But since she started to go to school, it became worse again. She even yells "No", "go away" or "leave me alone" and doesn't want her dad. I'm struggling, it is so so hard. Sometimes I just want to scream, pull at my own hair, hurt myself,.. I'm all about communication and expressing feelings, but she seems to get angry about everything and is just acting out. I feel defeated, I can't handle it any more and feel awful. Yesterday it got really bad, and afterwards we talked about it. And she reacted with: but I can't help it..

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Samantha Vanhess, she needs to see you handling your problems and you can share appropriately how something has upset you and how you are handling the problem. Consider some counseling to help you sort these feelings and come up with some positive ways to deal with your daughter.

[@guadalupeespinosa2288]

This Channel has been God sent 🙏🏼 . Thank you for putting this information out there . I’ve been having a really hard time trying to understand my 2 year old . Now I’m really understanding his emotions.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are so welcome, glad we can partner up.

[@favymurillo2090]

What had you changed my 2 year old it’s driving me crazy I’m exhausted he’s so irritated most of the time

[@marthafawzy]

Can’t thank you enough for all your short, awesome and useful videos! You’re the only channel I like to watch when it comes to learn about kids!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, Martha Fawzy, please share videos with your friends or family.

[@josemartinez-gr1cz]

You are amazing! Love all your videos and you make so much sense and are so so on point. I understand that in the beginning of implementing your techniques it feels like it won’t work but we have to stop and think how long did it take my child to get to this point. Well it will take time for you and him to get this corrected as well. My boys went tru a nasty divorce and there mother used lots of verbal and physical abuse and lots of restraining, you talk about restraining becoming abuse. I thank god and your videos that I have yet to resort to restraining. The boys now live with me and things are getting so much better. At times I thought I would not be able to help them but like you say, the weather will pass. True! God bless you and thank you!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

jose martinez, thank you for your kind comment. You make a good point about taking time to implement the new techniques. You got this.

[@udomsupsrihorn2173]

Thank you Dr. I am truly appreciate your efforts to do this thing.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome.

[@jsoul6647]

You just saved me Very right now as my 5 year old was throwing a tantrum. We weathered the storm, Thank You. 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

JSoul, so glad to hear it.

[@chelseacampbell5600]

Thank you for explaining things in a simple way! This makes me a little more confident about discussing behavior management at my son's IEP meeting next week.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Awesome, Chelsea Campbell. You are showing up and contributing to your child's education. Thank you.

[@lefrinj]

Re: your guidance on the punching a pillow - I've heard another good piece of advice from Martin Kirk, a really good positive parenting guy who used to foster a lot of ADHD kids... and he'd always say let's do something active like throw a football. Whenever he was worked up himself he'd just do some pushups and the kids would associate activity with getting control of your anger - but not doing something directly angry with it, just getting it out of you another way.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Dev Lunsford, many ADHD kids really need physical work and that that is why pushups and other similar activities work. Many smart teachers and therapists start with a physical activity and transition to classwork. Thank you for commenting.

[@lefrinj]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV interesting insight. Does shifting energy into exercise work for ordinary grumpy parents too? Hope so... now just need to remember it in the moment before shouting....

[@Ikono3]

What would I do without you, you are such an inspiration. ❤

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Honored to be on your team.

[@user-em8ci5ff7x]

Great lesson as always. Thank you, Dr. Paul!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, Good Wife. Glad this video is helpful to you.

[@twigsoflife]

Thanks for this Dr. Paul. It really helps to be reminded. Am a mother of two boys 3 and 5.. and its really challenging .. every is a struggle and thats why am looking for helpful videos.. bought some parenting books .. CALM voice is the NUMBER One.. but The hardest for me when Am triggerred.. because my childhood was hard too and its obvious that am repeating it towards my precious kids and I really dont like me on this.. so as my husband.. Thank you thank you so much .. God bless you more and more power to your channel.. thanks for living with purpose by helping us parents.. ❤

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for being in our positive parenting community.

[@thereIsaidit123]

This is gold advice ! I will use it :)

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Ggg, so glad you found this video helpful. Thank you for watching.

[@mijalheinrich4331]

This is the best video about this topic, I have ever seen. The problem is: I do all this things by intuition, and have done them for years, but I don't know, what to do, to help my son to regulate his feelings. If he feels anger, it can takes him hours to calm down. He is very sensitive and he seems to feel every emotion with an intensity, I can not imagine and he is unable to let go of his anger. So , yes, all this tips are pure gold, in the situation, when your child is feeling anger, but it doesn't solve the problem.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Mijal Heinrich, thank you, glad our paths crossed.

[@iamthemaskyouwear]

I needed this. Thank you so much. ❤

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You're so welcome!

[@balshhh8233]

I have an 11 year old sister who immediately gets mad when something goes wrong or does not get what she wants. She barely listens to us and we often end up in a yelling contest. Sometimes she'll break stuff also. I know she can change but I don't know how to start helping her, since we're not really close because we used to fight everyday before which is wrong. But believe me, she's very intelligent and does well in School. She's a varsity player also. But her attitude when not in School is soo different, when we don't follow her she'll get mad. I always try to keep my composure and managed to reduce those yelling moments, but she still barely listens to us. :(

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Defgha, I answered in the other comment left. Good luck.

[@aec5210]

Thanks. I was having a hard time controlling my own emotions when my son was acting out.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad you are here at the channel.

[@rsb777blanco4]

thank you for posting this video

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Rachel park, you are very welcome.

[@hope46sf]

Great input!!! Thank you!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad it was helpful!

[@peachai27]

Thank you so much for this.. I like how you portrayed real life situation with a stormy weather.. ♥

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for watching and commenting, Elsbeth Febria-Bahretdinova. Hoping you have a sunny day.

[@stevemorse108]

Thank you for a very helpful presentation.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

My pleasure.

[@deefee701]

Like Kristy below, I'm finding that kids who are difficult to deal with at school are actually raising themselves. Their parents have no idea. I'm recommending this channel and professional help.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Dena F, yes, there is typically a lot going on in other areas of the child's life.

[@venussemmens4124]

You're amazing, real. No really ty

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for watching, Venus Semmens. I love doing these videos and hearing from people like you.

[@foxyshazaam3310]

Yes he is

[@lovetheoutdoors2]

Wish I would have found this guy sooner!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Miss American Pie, glad we connected.

[@lornasanchez1107]

I love your channel and videos!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you so much! Lorna Sanchez, glad to have you at the channel.

[@onlybff]

Big thanks for a great advise and useful Videos.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad it was helpful!

[@lynnettestone2848]

Thank you so so very much for this video!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Honored to be on your team.

[@hanaasfaw5846]

I’m so glad watching this video, it is Very helpful🙏thank you

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad it is helpful.

[@chhavi5248]

Love it, awesome video

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks so much!

[@jabberjawpain7845]

Thanx u so much doctor , i Luv the way you talk about empathy n stay calm

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

It's my pleasure

[@yolybooty2200]

Great information 👍thanks, I am following from uk 🇬🇧

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Yoly Booty, thanks for checking in. I am glad you are here.

[@JessicaS0105]

Great video!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks!

[@samiko37]

Thank you so much ❤😊 this was amazing from your side

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome.

[@Olivia-lp8yz]

my four year old brother has issues i swear he never stops screaming, banging walls, slamming doors over stupid things like a soft toy i actually wish i could run away and never have to hear his voice again

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Olivia 12, perhaps you could ask your parents to watch this video. They may not know what to do, either. We have a Positive Parenting playlist for more ideas: kzbin.info/aero/PLq2mRDkHEBPCclxt6agg3wrLBRkL7CCwU Thank you for watching, and I hope that you pass this on to them.

[@liveforchrist1474]

Pray for his salvation and spiritual maturity and pray every day. Don't give up God does answer prayer even if it just takes time. We must honor and respect our God for His discipline is stern. I layed my hand on my spouse's shoulder and said to him, "Be born again in the name of Jesus." And he has been changed by God's grace ever since. He is so much more positive now, he isn't so crazy angry anymore. I know people who've been changed through water baptism also. I heard the right way to baptize is in Jesus' name not in the name of the father , son and holy spirit. I know someone , he was on the very verge of suicide , overwhelmed with anger, depression and addiction. He cried out , "God save me!" And God heard him and changed him that very moment. God made him a peaceful , joyful person , no more over angery addiction driven person from that day forward. Also let me share with you that my step sister was hyperactive at age 3 so my dad removed all sugar from her diet and made sure no one was letting her have caffeine. He only fed her meat and veggies no sweet potatoes and a few crackers now and then for snack. He saw a huge difference the same day, she was calm and stayed seated in back seat of car , took healthy naps. He didn't have to put her on prescription meds , he said prescriptions aren't good they cause more deaths cuz they're too strong or wrongly made medicines. I believe him cuz I have always hated their side affects.

[@user-ng8zf6wy7q]

@pop eye I agree with you. There has been a lack of God for a while and now we're paying the price. I have raised my kids (4) with the fear of God and tried to do my best being a good role model & providing a healthy kid friendly environment. These days many parents have no filters for their kids and let them hear, watch adult movies & play sick violent games. And unfortunately there are those that have been traumatized ..... I deal with children that are placed in an alternative school program w/1yr behind me. Even though I am the stern type, the general approach is the opposite. I dont agree with it entirely but its protocol. Today we were left scratching our heads again trying to figure out what will work for an extremely explosive 6yr old.

[@liveforchrist1474]

@@user-ng8zf6wy7q yes I agree, laws and society have changed too much!

[@liveforchrist1474]

@@user-ng8zf6wy7q Thanks for your reply and wonderful insight. We must stay strong and keep on praying for the world!

[@lochis503]

Thank you for this video it's helping me so much at this point .

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Locha Calderon, my pleasure.

[@rlcnotouch1984]

Thank you so much!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You're welcome!

[@ranahina3015]

So so helpful

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

rana hina, thank you.

[@velvetparker1739]

God sent me to you videos...and im so thankful for the time you took to make videos that educate mothers like me. The wide range of life lessons to helping me become a better version of myself🙏I'm raising 3 beautiful childern❤and i could never afford the time to take real life parenting classes and even if i could the convenience of being able to watch and learn anywhere anytime, by me having a busy schedule is such a blessing🙌Thank you so much and may God bless you and your gift‼

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are so welcome, Velvet Parker. I am glad the videos are helpful, that was the goal.

[@natashalapin6423]

Wish I had these video's when my children where young thanks

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Natasha Lapin, my pleasure.

[@destinee9903]

I will use this!!! Thank you!!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Great! Hope it helps things.

[@TNT31414]

Thank you!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are very welcome.

[@viaisgoncalves]

Good video! Thanks!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

viaisgoncalves, you are very welome.

[@yumnamahmood4314]

Hi, Thanks a lot for guidance. Though I am a teacher, not a parent, and I feel like teachers need to practice these things too.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Yes, definitely.

[@sunshines4419]

I love it! Very beneficial! Great job in explaining!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, Sunshine S. Honored to be on your team.

[@janosevicaneta7298]

Thank you so much

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are very welcome, Janosevic Aneta. I am honored to be on your team.

[@k.ambrosio602]

Great tips. I have zero clue what’s going on with my 7 y/o son. I try these modeling behaviors at home and he does okay. But it seems the aggression and anger (stemming from frustrations) are coming out at school and I’m not there to have that one on one with him. It seems like he goes from 0-10. When he gets pulled aside he calms down, but it’s like he doesn’t have that moment where he pauses and thinks how to react, he just reacts. 😔 it’s been going on for while (since he was in pre-k) and it seems to be getting worse. Talk about feeling like a huge parent failure.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

K. Ambrosio, you aren't a failure. Maybe you could share with those at school what you have done. A team approach could help him.

[@bodidleemusic]

I really loved your video.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I'm glad you found it helpful, Bo DidLee. Honored to be on your team.

[@sarahr7279]

Great video! Really helpful!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, whatever it takes. So grateful for subscribers.

[@mymommysjournal2737]

Amazing! So many people around me encourage punishment and even smacking. I always thought It's so wrong to suppress feelings with violence and aggressiveness. I thank you because I am always learning to be a better parent and I feel like I'm regaining control of myself so I can support my young child better and understanding

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

My mommy's journal. parents like you make all the work that goes into this channel worth it. Honored to be on your team.

[@mymommysjournal2737]

@I Love The Colour Pink Talking to my child has been the pillar to building a respectful bond. I don't see my child as a my property or a correction job for everything that they do that I don't like. My job is to keep my kids safe, healthy and living respectfully amongst others. For every child behaviour there is a reason. I now listen to my kids before I go and punish without understanding. Our lives is much better and peaceful. Truly changed and I can't thank enough channels like this and the studies of experts in child psychology, to make that positive change. If you study child development you'll understand that majority of punishment hinders a child because a lot of things we see as bad behaviour is actually a developmental factor. I started using natural consequences and I never seen my kids as bad or any other kids as bad. In fact since changing my ways and not using naughty step and that stuff, my kids have blossomed, confident and calm. If they do something that I think it's not ok, which is normal for a kid, they don't go hide because they are scared of mommy shouting and naughty step. They started telling me things, apologise and correct themselves alone, a lot of times it doesn't get even to that point that they "misbehave" anymore, because they know I'm listening to them and I respect them as human beings. If you listen to them they will.listen to you. Respect is not earned by scaring someone with our reaction or consequence. Fear doesn't bring respect but distance. Thank you for your judgement but my kids never gave me any problems in school or outside actually they are the top in their class and they have been praised time again for their reliability and mature behaviour. Very blessed that the teachers at school also back me up on not punishing but using positive communication and natural consequences. You really don't need to be shouting and hitting to get the kid to do what you want. You teach them that to get what they want in turn they have to be aggressive and violent to others too because if others don't listen to them, just as they don't listen to us it's ok to shout, hit, threaten and humiliate. But to each their own. I suggest you watching more videos it can be very therapeutic and healing. Thank you again @LiveOnPurposeTv

[@genevawhite6954]

My mommy's journal Nevi s child Called Ashley and Carrie and Emily

[@liveforchrist1474]

Pray for your kids' salvation and spiritual maturity every day. Never give up. Always you have to love, honor, respect and obey God for His discipline is stern. Also, never neglect to Tithe , it is God's biblical law. One day I layed my hand on my spouse's shoulder and said to him, "Be born again in the name of Jesus." And he has been changed by God's grace ever since. He is so much more positive now, so much less angry.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Pop Eye, thanks for the thoughts.

[@liveforchrist1474]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV sure , no problem!

[@staceyl3365]

Thank you! Love it! I work w kindergartens. I'm going into work tomorrow feeling more confident on how to deal w a few that are little ruffians 😊🔻🔴🔳👏ABC's

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Stacey Loveland, teachers really need to have their toolboxes full when they enter the classroom : )

[@1Melody1963]

Would you please also do a video on dealing with overly compliant kids? My youngest (17 years old daughter) is on the autism spectrum. She is so overly compliant and accommodating to everyone. I worry so about encouraging her to have more confidence and helping her to plan her future.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

1Melody1963, I understand your worry. I will have to think on this. It will take lots of talks with her to understand that not everyone has her best interests at heart and come up with some boundaries.

[@1.2mviews2]

Thank you man ❤️

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You got it! 1.2M views.

[@teribrown1311]

Modeling a special needs 20 yr old who is still in STAGE 1 is very challenging. I sometimes feel love is not enough.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Teri Brown, it is very tough. Get clear on what you control and what you don't.

[@rae8961]

Watching this for my little brother. Our parents are abusive and often the instigators for his outbursts. I'm trying.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Lucianna Tomeave, I am glad you are being helpful. If things get unsafe, please call for help.

[@sham1967]

Thank u for trying

[@helenbrown6612]

I'm so sorry for you both. I came from a home of both parents either disengaged or explosive. If it's any comfort my brother and I have turned out ok and I am particularly unphased by most of life's annoyances. Maybe try to think of your upbringing as a vaccine against being bothered by the little things that people who have had ideal childhoods can't handle. We are able to cope with pretty much anything!!!

[@cjm537]

Dr Paul, I really appreciate your insight & wisdom 💗 I like how you say "be wise & judicious" when dealing with child's anger/aggression - so important to keep in mind when parent feels overwhelmed. I'm so glad to hear you don't recommend punching pillows because many so called "professionals" do say to do that , which is so counterproductive & wrong to teach children 😯 You are a blessing & helping so many people 🦸‍♂️💗 God Bless you and all who struggle/strive to be the best parent we can be for our child/children 👨‍🎨🕵️‍♂️👼🙏🕊✝️💗🦸‍♂️🦸‍♀️

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

M, thank you!

[@alysonmaxwell1991]

These videos are so helpful. Thank you.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad to have you at Live On Purpose TV, alyson Maxwell.

[@franny5295]

I swear sometimes my son just needs to be mad. One time he threw such a fit I did have to hold him in a hug. What surprised me was his declaration of, "this isn't scaring you." Like he was surprised. No idea where that came from or what was behind that but I haven't had to hold him like that much sense. He may have been 3.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Franchesca ONeal, thank you for sharing what worked for you, it could help someone else.

[@stephanietunc2240]

See it hard for me since my son hits and throws hard things. Throws his food on the floor, and screaming like i do when he passed all my limits and ive been calm all day and dealt with his wrong doing all day. But ill still take all this advice and try harder. Hes been so bad. And like you said i have to deal with my husband who belittles me and uses foul words with me that i dont want him teaching my son. Its a constant battle between my son and my husband. Most of them do it at the same time. I feel extremely defeated afterwards. :(

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Stephanie Tunc, that can really wear you down. Your son could be picking up on the tension. Seek some help to figure a better way for you.

[@time.saver_66666]

Thanks sir

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

All the best

[@vanhoof1family439]

Love this video! One of the best on this topic. Thank you!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@reignofaragon6890]

Thanks so much

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Our pleasure.

[@adhyatmayogahindi]

Thank you :)

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You're welcome!

[@razellminerva6728]

I really love the way you put an example on what you're saying, it really expands your explanation and makes more sense. This is what I am looking for long time ago. Thank god I found ur vlog. 😉

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I'm so glad! Welcome to Live On Purpose TV.

[@razellminerva6728]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV BTW from Philippines here😀. 😉

[@tjbfjagw]

Thank you for bringing up the punching a pillow idea. I was taught that by my parents, and although I used it as a kid I never liked the way it made me feel. So of course I implemented it with my kids because I didn't have any better tools in bag, but now I do!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad to be of service to you, Alexis Gallagher! It's an honor to be on your team.

[@djmax2572]

wonderful example with a storm!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for watching and commenting, DJ Max.

[@cdavis7764]

My 4 year old grandson acts out every day and throws anything at us when something doesn't go right for him. I have never seen a child this angry before. His dad is a absent person in his life and visits when it is convenient. Everyday anger is not normal. He has been diagnosed with Severe ADHD and ODD.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Cindy Davis, love them no matter what and even if....

[@nadhiagurrola491]

I usually tell my daughter in her moments of fury let us start a conversation. Let's talk about this. Then I say when you talk to me the way I'm talking to you, then we can start to solve this.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Nadhia Gurrola, true words.

[@lifewithq9755]

I can't get into my child it's crazy same thing every morning I don't know what to do

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

@@lifewithq9755 I'm not sure if you are new to Live on Purpose TV ... we have have a Positive Parenting playlist with lots of videos to help you with a variety of issues. I hope you can find something useful here: kzbin.info/aero/PLq2mRDkHEBPCclxt6agg3wrLBRkL7CCwU. Thanks for being here at Live On Purpose TV.

[@emmag8620]

Don’t hurt 🤕 yourself and hurt 🤕 others

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

georgi kobakov, words to live by.

[@karentingler4937]

Thanks

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Karen Tingler, Honored to be on your team.

[@kristen4050]

For my toddler ( recently turned 2) when he gets upset with something. He often gets frustrated and starts yelling and throws himself to the ground or something to that magnitude. When he starts to get upset my first words are slow down and breathe. Not in a condescending way, but I soften my tone and say ssllloow ddoowwnn..bbrreeaathe (partly reminding myself to slow down and not act quickly out of my frustration). I follow up with offering opens arms and saying "Use your words". I know he could have trouble articulating some words so I'll also ask him "What were you trying to do" or I'll plainly give him the words he needs for that situation. I repeat what he told me back to him to show him I unserstand. Like "you were trying to stack your blocks, but they kept falling down. That made you frustrated". Once his feelings are validated and we understand each other he calms down fairly quickly. Depending on the situation and where we are (like at the grandparents house). Sometimes if he starts throwing a fit I'll ask him if we need to go to the next room to calm down (I like to give him that privacy) He'll often say "no". Then I'll ask him if he can calm down by himself and he'll say "yes" and settle down. Sometimes we still need to go to the next room to calm down. I'm trying to give him a methodology to getting upset and to give him the words he needs to express himself. Part of the time it seems like they get the most upset when no one can understand what they are trying to convey. I think that can also leave them feeling lonely and maybe a little ostracized at times when they can't communicate properly.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are doing awesome, thanks for sharing Kristen. I love the part about your words being as much for him as for you. You can do this!

[@foxyshazaam3310]

You are doing great! My son is almost 5, and he dealt with the same issues as your son since the age of 18 months. He would also slam his head into tables, walls, floors, concrete, and glass windows when he would get overwhelmed/frustrated.. he also went through about a year and a half phase where he hit, bit, kicked and slapped me. I thought I would never get through it. But I did pretty much the exact things you do, and it really did help him to calm down plus helping them find the words to explain their emotions also really helps Mom to mom hug 🤗

[@Phoe8D]

I will use this on the kids i baby sit thank you

[@Virgorising11]

I have a very angry child. He closed fist punched me in the face today after a weekend with his dad. His dad has anger issues. I am more loving and gentle. I am lost! He is very agressive toward me. Especially when I'm trying to disipline, I get at his level and do everything I've watched.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

nina johns, I hope there are consequences when he hits. Having said that, transition time from his dads may require some special routines. We have found that kids need some alone time when they transition from one house to another. Give him some space and probably some therapy to figure out his feelings.

[@rafaideengouse3863]

Dear Sir your explanation is very helpful and mesmerising I had been thinking what to do with my grand child's anger ( he is my best friend) no I fully understood his condition is normal and how to handle it both his parents are worried of his behaviour now every thing is ok thank God and for you bye...

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Honored to be on your team.

[@coachcschweri4261]

am so happy I came across this videos, thank you so much now I understand my 3 year.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad it helped!

[@JessicaTang9202019]

Thank you Dr.Paul for sharing you’re idea.Always wait this kind of video.Dr.Paul can you help me about my problem because i had a 2 year old son and we live with my in-laws.My mother in-law take care of my brother in-laws 2 1/2 year old son but the problem is my son and his cousin always fighting every single day and i don’t know what to do?😌

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Can you give both boys some sort of incentive to get along? Plan some activities where they are busy and constant reminders will be needed so they learn to get along. Jessica ilano, I would also talk to your mother in law and when you two are agreed on a plan then you will have the best chance of success.

[@JessicaTang9202019]

Live On Purpose TV Dr.Paul it sounds very nice and i will try to do that.Thank you Dr.Paul for you’re advice and i know it will pass like you said to you’re video.Maybe i will also practice more patient to myself,thank you so much Dr.Paul for answer my message and for you’re advice.😊😊😊

[@liezzelledg7432]

👍👍👍👍very helpful

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Good to hear, Liezzelle DG, thank you.

[@jubileej1629]

I work at a student care and I have a student that gets extremely frustrated and agitated easily. He also gets really angry and lashes out and runs out of class. I love him so much but I desperately want to help him to regulate his emotions

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am glad you are there to work with him.

[@kaludactn]

Thank you! You think kids can forgive? I lost control one time and I was starting yelling and threatening my one kid. Telling him I will leave him forever. 😥

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Constantin Caluda, yes, kids can forgive and we can do better. Your child will needs lots of assurance of your love.

[@jakkifrance]

So SO useful thank you !!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Jakki France, thank you.

[@tammychilders2654]

My 6 year old grandson has major anger issues. He has Apraxia of Speech, which we believe is the root of his anger and anxiety. He has been involved in speech therapy for 3 years, but still struggles and with the diagnosis of Apraxia, probably always will. He lashes out in anger, hitting and kicking anyone and anything in his path. He lives in a small area with very little help available. My daughter is beside herself and I don’t know how to help. I live over 20 hours from them. They are military and have frequent moves. I’d take any advice anyone wants to give!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I hope people chime in here with their experiences. It takes lots of therapy, patience and practice.

[@brightpage1020]

Toddlers or younger kids you can be like “Ouch that hurts me!” Then put them down in a crib or play yard, and leave the room for 1-3 minutes. Or “ooh! That’s too loud for my ears. It hurts them.” Then, the same. Within a few set down and leaving the rooms, the child picks up on the pattern.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Good point.