How to stop being so afraid of everything

[@333Hedgehogs]

I used to get up of bed very early and eager to go outside. NOW, I stay under my blankets, praying that no one knocks on my door. I CAN'T face the idea of going out and seeing people.

[@AshleyOBrien-sj4vb]

I really understand. I have been there, still am.

[@onesunnyday5699]

So, so same😢

[@Brett_Riley]

Social anxiety sucksssss.

[@StoicNature444]

Visit Christian audio books and sermons channel and absorb the word of God. It will give you strength and peace.

[@TypicalDuffer]

How do you make a living?

[@karenr411]

I cannot thank you enough Dr. Scott. I am 65 and stopped working during COVID. Since that time my world has shrunken to my 2 bdrm condo and 3 cats. I have allowed anxiety to stop me from any activity that includes other people. Your explanation of how anxiety works makes so much sense. I shall be taking tiny steps of exposure so I can participate in life again. It has been pretty lonely 😔

[@halcyon-cg2eb]

Yes, baby steps! Good luck 🤗

[@1592sandra]

💜

[@seekpeace13]

Same here. You are not alone. ❤

[@santiagobenites]

I have gone through a very similar experience in my life, so I know what you mean. Just work on taking those small steps, and also work on telling that voice in your head to shut up and take a hike. Good luck.

[@kitcat9214]

Me too! Right there with you!

[@LeAnne-uw3wp]

Anxiety feeds off of avoidance. Thanks for the video ❤

[@topy706]

im the king of avoidance and retreat

[@Rachelle-ci8rb]

Same.

[@ronaldlindeman6136]

@@topy706 I'm the peasant of avoidance and retreat. I can't control anything like a king would control it.

[@JnTmarie]

It is a slippery slope Becomes a habit and habits are hard to break Careful what you say to yourself and what you practice you will become it. BUT it can be turned around. It’s like going on vacation and when you get back trying to get into the work schedule again is torture We become numb to the pain lol. Endure. Getting free makes it hard to go back lol Even with things you really want to do. I’m sitting here typing this instead of getting ready for a show I WANT to do!

[@JnTmarie]

Thank you for sharing how you manage your anxiety and sense of self. I go in and out. I also sometimes feel how do I have the right to feel like this when so many others are worse off. Be careful who you share your inner self with. Someone who is also struggling and you think will be most compassionate can turn out to be the most belittling person. Talk to a confident person cause there is a real chance they have overcome anxiety and we all swing back and forth. Avoidance is a killer. Unsuccessful people encourage me to join them. Forget about that. It seems loving and helpful but it is self serving so they have company. I’m left to grapple on my own at a deadline. Have hope a vision of your best self and know you can achieve it. Never give up unless it doesn’t serve you. Give up on anxiety not your goals 💜 going to work now🙏🏻

[@alexanderulv3886]

This is literally me. It started out as social anxiety, but now it’s more anxiety of being alive. It’s like I just can’t catch a break, and I’m a shut in now too..

[@avamiller2325]

Me also 😢

[@shanebowers2768]

Myself aswell ,my whole life battling with social anxiety, my life feels miserable

[@mpipod]

same

[@Caringsoul245]

Same. Before 2020 I only had social anxiety and then now it's health anxiety, panic disorder and a bunch of other stuff that has made me feel mentally unstable. I always get that uneasy feeling. Unsure how to explain it but that feeling that something is always wrong even when there's literally nothing wrong. I also feel like I have developed a strange form of paranoia as well ever since 2020. I've never once felt that way in my whole life. I sometimes start to randomly shake out of nowhere. I have had head pressures, I would wake up in sweat and my heart beating fast, confusion, that panic feeling that you get not even a panic attack but something that's less severe but somehow you get that weird panic feeling that rushes through you. I didn't get any hyperventilation like I had with my panic attack so it couldn't have actually been a panic attack but yes I got that too and just a bunch of stuff that I can't even describe into words since they're very specific and are hard to describe into words. I don't know if anyone out there can relate but my gosh, it's exhausting...😃

[@shanebowers2768]

@@Caringsoul245 sorry to hear you have it bad , I allso have had social anxiety my whole life , I only thing that gives me some positive relief is training, doing gym fist thing in the morning has a positive effect on my mood for the day

[@belliyt]

I think the worst part is being anxious about being anxious. Feels like an endless cycle, but I know it's not. I hope we all come to realize this again. I wish everyone the best ❤

[@LYoung-et2sg]

Fear of the fear. Yup.

[@rubyvp5923]

Very true

[@MoonSpinners]

I’m going through that right now, it’s a vicious circle. I say “why am I still feeling anxious?” Which makes me more anxious 🙁

[@nishadh366]

I don't mean to be dramatic, but you may have just changed my life. I have suffered from anxiety and depression all of my life and have tried medication, therapy, and a variety of different methods. The only thing that works is: action. Avoiding what needs to be done. It has only gone away when I actually do it. You confirmed this. Thank you so much.

[@DontLookBehindYou1]

I don't think it's dramatic... Sometimes there's that one video or thing that just hits for that period of your life. Good luck on your journey

[@monicamomney8756]

Never dramatic to reach out with honesty and integrity❤🙌 I know how you feel.

[@يومياتمسيحيةمريضة]

Jesus Christ is the only way to heaven the only answer the only savior and healer 🕊️✝️

[@fyreblade1262]

yeah but then it comes back if you don't do it every day. It's so stupid this disease

[@happydays1384]

Feel the fear and do it anyways by Susan jeffers is a brilliant book. Highly recommend

[@QuietSpacePhotoStudioLLC]

I've also experienced health-related panic attacks and anxiety. I couldn't drive more than 5 minutes from my house without freaking out. I forced myself to do it a little bit at a time and push myself a little farther each time. Now I can drive anywhere.

[@janetklumper6048]

Good for you, amazing

[@overcomingwithin]

This is key. I couldn’t get more than 5 minutes also. I had a setback mid year but still pushing forward. Will win the fight. Just need to prioritise exposure like my life depends on it, because it does. I’ve been stuck in the same 10km for almost 4 years

[@MimiBigCat]

Wonderful, happy for you ❤

[@deotexh]

Wow!

[@avamiller2325]

@@overcomingwithinI’m the exact same way

[@blackvulture7999]

I suffered from panic attacks and anxiety for plenty of years. But it just turned out recently that I have very low iron levels in my blood. 60% it is the reason. So, sometimes, please, check on your physical health also. 🙏🏻

[@0ptimal]

Its true. Years ago i went on a healthy diet kick, really healthy, no junk, and in a few weeks i realized my anxiety vanished. For the whole time i ate healthily almost 2 months. It was always there before that, my whole life. Its as if the bad food was fueling this anxious uncomfortable state n i never knew until i got rid of it. Havent commited enough since but should because it really worked.

[@Caringsoul245]

Yes that and also low vitamin D as well. I've noticed a lot of people who deal with anxiety have low vitamin D deficiency as well!

[@Amy-pr1ke]

Sound like you beedro be checked for h pylori

[@caracaplinger1860]

This is important!

[@UniquelyCritical]

Magnesium glycinate might help too.

[@Trassel242]

To anyone who’s got bad experiences from school as a child and teenager: don’t worry about not fitting in or not thriving in the school environment. It’s an extremely specialised situation that basically won’t ever happen again in your adult life, not even university studies. It’s like you’re a fish in one of those tiny round goldfish bowls, and they expect you to do great in that tiny little bowl when you’re made to swim in the ocean. Adults generally don’t react the same way kids and teenagers do, so all these things you’ve gotten used to tend to disappear or at least lessen. This insight genuinely made me feel better about myself and my life once I realised it. I hope it may help you, too. Good luck out there, it’s a harsh world but if we work together we can make it at least a little bit better.

[@huzar7336]

Wow this is good advice

[@markwalton3367]

What if you become a teacher?

[@StoicNature444]

It’s natural to feel anxiety in a sick society and trying to fit in and interact with that sick society. We are in a spiritual battle.

[@kungfumcgee7992]

Why do you say there is a spiritual battle?

[@Roger_Ramjet]

Not so

[@CorndancerHawkeyes91254]

I agree anxiety taunts me a Spiritual battle. A'ho!

[@JasonWood100]

Yeah we are in a sick society where it is normal to exploit, enslave, and kill animals for products we don't need, but selfishly choose. In food, clothing, medicine, etc...

[@jimicunningable]

The above is STUPID victim blaming BS. F F F shrinks. Fix your profession, replication crisis and deadly meds or just FO.

[@TexasAries4]

I’ve had severe anxiety for as long as I can remember. It’s so refreshing to see a doctor who understands. I’m proud to be part of this family where we can come to support each other. Thank you Dr. Scott ❤

[@patriciamharris5664]

❤ Ditto!!!

[@ginalisenby9668]

I definitely agree,, been waking up and actually don't feel like I'm going to die every morning. Love Dr.Scott and his whole community. Thanks to everyone for helping each other. There is no greater thing than that.

[@julieaskingforafriend]

Interesting to me that this affliction, if you will, is inherent, nature versus nurture. My mother was a narcissistic sociopath who allowed me to do nothing because of her own fears that I would make her look bad. My father was just a fearful person who wouldn't go up against my mother. I was afraid to try anything new as a child and adolescent. And once I left home, it took me a few years to get past that. But a great deal of self introspection, and baby steps into the world around me, solved the entire problem. I left an abusive marriage, started traveling, and am looking into moving overseas. Nothing frightens me anymore! And literally nothing causes me anxiety. Baby steps. Small victories. Keep it up, and it'll happen.

[@a31142257]

Holy Cow! Your experience is incredibly overwhelming and powerful.. The way you managed to go from point A to point B progressively and reach that level of freedom where you could do anything without feeling fear or anxiety truly speaks of your will to live life and enjoy what's there. I've struggled with anxiety for some months now due to overloads of work and a ton of pressure from college that led to me exploding like a balloon by the end of the year. I couldn't handle anything anymore and I had to put out energy from where I didn't have any. Spent these holidays at my parents house not doing much just hoping I'd feel better with time, all it did was empower my fear for living life, now I'm trying to stand my ground and slowly regain confidence in what I used to do daily without any fear. I love challenges but this is definitely one of the most difficult things I've ever had to deal with in my entire life, but I believe in myself.. ❤

[@michaelpiepenhagen399]

I've existed in a prison of depression for a couple decades now.... & i would like to say your words are helpful to me with my recent recovery

[@shirleyfrost9909]

Dont give up Dr. Scott can help. He's helped me wherever I listen to him God bless you💜

[@primrosemandimutsira5908]

Hy so if u got depression does that min a person has high blood pressure

[@patriciamharris5664]

Mine is associated recently, again, with driving. (Crippling panic attacks) from ptsd..(car accident)...i keep pushing through by the grace of God, until it wears off.

[@MarianneMcVeigh-xz2yv]

I understand. I was in a major car crash as a passenger and had multiple injuries. It's taken a lot of years of exposure therapy and CBT to tackle my PTSD to even drive locally. I just cannot drive on the highway anymore as my knee jerk reaction to bad drivers then makes me a dangerous driver. I've accepted this now even though it was my passion to drive long distances, get away places plus also my previous career as a sales area manager. I am happy tackling efforts to drive locally. I hope you learn to manage this. I truly empathise.

[@stephaniem2743]

Wow! You really get it. Feeling like less of a failure after you explained. I tried to expand the comfort zone too far, too fast. Crashed, burned, retreated into an even smaller comfort zone than before. Now, I feel like I can try to take smaller steps again. Thank you.

[@historychick5947]

Same here!

[@pjuszczak2502]

I can relate

[@ericblair54]

I'm 74 years old. I used to be fearless, now I fear everything. Food shopping, all appointments, now, even going out for a walk. I wake up to the moon. I never see daylight. It's November 30th and in Toronto it gets light out at 8am and dark at 4:30pm. I say in bed all day.

[@trishf2184]

I get it. But why? What happened, what's really behind this...I'm heading towards this...what's your best guess?

[@redtom07]

Gratitude. Think of just three things you are grateful for first thing when you wake. Could be grateful for just waking up. Your comfortable bed. The roof over your head that protects you. Be grateful first thing and it will change your day. Do it every morning and it will change your life.

[@giuseppeLizzi-rj3er]

I know how it feels I’m 39 I lost my mum she was 57 years when she passed away I felt completely heart broken I wish she could of stayed longer it’s not fair at all she was always there for me I just hope if there is an afterlife she gets something better ❤️🙏

[@onesunnyday5699]

I'm 61 & I'm the same. Always going, going, going. Now I sit staring out the window, watching the world go by. 😢

[@Fegga1955]

Same here,think it stems from not trusting our bodies,loneliness and bone problems…….. was so different

[@candaceheidenrich6278]

I would like to hear about anxiety as it relates to a series of losses….deaths, jobs, relationships….

[@mightymouse1005]

Absolutely, I lost my husband and mother and a niece within a year. My anxiety skyrocketed. Gave up my job to take care of my husband. Being his caregiver kept me home and I got stuck. 6 yrs later and I'm worse. Tired of beating myself up and I am forcing myself to see people and go somewhere at least 2 times a month.

[@MoonSpinners]

@@mightymouse1005..I related to when you said you beat yourself up, I think I get angry with myself for getting anxious, and grief feels like anxiety to me. I don’t want to let go and feel grief because I’m scared I’ll never come out of it, but pushing it down is leading to more anxiety.

[@Biblesmakegoodkindling]

@@mightymouse1005❤️

[@JudiKerestan]

THis is true. I am terrified of dentist and I faced it and did ir afraid, I just found the most caring dentist who made it possible. I am still scared no matter how many times I go , BUT my teeth are finally healthy and I can smile again...avoidance was my strong suit for the last 20 years. Trust GOD and do it afraid, and you will say after how easy it was and how much stronger you feel!

[@mightymouse1005]

I braided my hair and looked in the mirror. I told myself I looked pretty. Doesn't sound like much, but, its a big thing

[@tykeandjonsieshow3595]

Did you simply tell yourself you're pretty or did you genuinely FEEL pretty? There's plenty of things I've tried to tell myself before because it's the right/healthy thing to want to feel or believe, but I said it without actually believing it.

[@LeahDeniseTV]

I’m proud of you, 👍 I’m doing great if I get a shower in 😢

[@scottmowdy3856]

That's great man!

[@mellmell45]

this is how you start going down the right path! i was incredibly insecure, and i decided to change my thinking around. instead of constantly talking down on myself, i kept complimenting myself and the things i liked, and i started to believe it. it takes a while but it feels so good in the end

[@hippieatheart2667]

I realized every time I go to my hometown, which is close to where I live, I get this gripping fear. Yesterday I decided to take a walk in this town and create new memories. Was very freeing!

[@patriciamharris5664]

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏💜 Any trauma or fear based incidents attached to that town? Just wondering.❤

[@hippieatheart2667]

@@patriciamharris5664 Definitely 💯! For my whole childhood.

[@BubblGrl]

Hard relate on this one, Dr Scott. Aside from my crippling social anxiety which can make me feel physically sick, I also really struggled with virtually interacting with my team at work. Both my tiny team of 6 and the larger team of 40+ people. I recently stepped into my “discomfort zone” during mental health week here and shared with the bigger team that we should take the time to recognise and celebrate the little wins we have. I was terrified of being judged…of the message not resonating with people…but I did it anyway. I first shared it with my little team and then told them that I would share it with the wider team - which made me commit to that course of action. It was received very well. Taking these little steps outside of my comfort zone has incrementally increased my confidence so I can freely interact with my little team without second-guessing absolutely everything. I think they have noticed the change too. It’s amazing how much your videos and book have helped me to become the person I actually am and to let go of some (not all) of my negative self-talk. Words cannot express my gratitude 🙏🏻

[@patriciamharris5664]

👏👏👏👏👏👏💜

[@annelbeab8124]

Well done. What a gift also to the others in the team.

[@JujubalandiaKaulitz]

Thank you for sharing this❤❤ cingratulations

[@sweetpea3795]

Sorry but people who have never felt anxiety not understand how debilitating it is. I wish they would learn how bad it is. Good luck to those who are suffering ❤

[@scottrogers9017]

Help. I haven’t lived in 30+ years. Pray for me please

[@humanbean4037]

I'm praying for u

[@shakeyj4523]

Holy Cerridwen, please help this person live their best life.

[@deotexh]

I'm praying for you brother ❤

[@humanpersonne]

Sending you good vibes and positivity❤ hugs

[@tekammagar3789]

Praying for you brother ❤❤❤

[@111jakk5]

I'm on the spectrum, and have had debilitating anxiety when trying to make friends in social situations. I would keep throwing myself into social situations, but I couldn't figure out why I still felt anxious even after succeeding. It all makes sense now: I was in over my head, building anxiety even when succeeding. Thank you Dr. Scott!

[@deniserouthierledoux8133]

You are exactly the person we need to explain this Scott. I have been in the anxiety prison cell since the age of 63, I just turned 70 and lost my husband to cancer this past summer. It seems like anxiety was not too present when I needed to pull up my boots and get things done but now I am struggling , no motivation or energy but I get up mornings, make my bed and come downstairs to listen to your videos. I think depression has set in since I normally found things to do around the house and now they look overwhelming to me, and going out for groceries is done quite quickly, back home to my chair after. I am not a happy person right now. 😢

[@Austin8thGenTexan]

I'm rooting for you! It doesn't have to be everything all at once. I make sure to get out of the house once a day and drive around - even if it's a short drive. It was amazing how much that lifted my spirits! I didn't want to cook because my kitchen was such a mess. 2 months of screwing around with it a little bit at a time got it to where I could cook again. No one else knows what doing seemingly stupid little things do when you're not able to do absolutely anything... 👍🏻

[@Goodgrief44]

I'm just slowly starting to get out for drives,taking my dog for short walks in parks after 2 years of nothingness

[@j03150315]

Thank you so much for this powerful cognitive shift: “prove my anxiety wrong”. All of sudden, my rebel nature kicks in.

[@bs5am]

It’s always hard to imagine someone speaking into a camera so relaxed and easy ever had real anxiety. Seeing it is inspiring to say the least.

[@SueDonim-iy6ml]

Yeah I want so badly to be able to do this...but I'm permanently traumatized and anxiety/fear rule my life. All the while I can't stop insulting myself with negative self talk. Man you have no idea how badly I wanted to become a successful content creator. Getting paid to put my work into the world and covering topics I love. A passionate job that doesn't feel like "work". The permanent low self esteem and internalized bullying ensures I can never have that. I can't even do "faceless" KZbin or streaming because even when I'm alone I can barely get my voice out. My internal energy just automatically wants me to be quiet. On a different channel I attempted to get started with making videos but I couldn't even finish making any actual content because halfway through I would destroy my progress with negative self talk and convince myself to just delete it and stop trying. And then I know if I ever did finish anything and upload I would panic and either private the video or outright delete it within like 5 minutes. I know if I even read one or two cruel comments it is going to shatter the tiny pathetic bit left that is my self esteem. And it is agonizing being aware of normal well adjusted people who achieved the dream I want . So on top of everything, I also have to fight to contain envy and jealousy. People will say that is childish or whatever but it is a normal response for someone living with ptsd and a ton of mental baggage. At least I can admit it though. Envy is so hard to ignore when you know your life got destroyed and you're left incapable of achieving those goals. I'm like a fucking vampire or something forced to live in the shadows.

[@Wedrowanie]

I’m going to see my doctor about my anxiety today…and I have extreme anxiety about it. If it wasn’t so horrible it would actually be funny. Thank you for this video.

[@robertashagam1599]

I find that volunteering and stepping out of one’s self helps. There is so much to give out there. It distracts one from one’s fears.

[@SueDonim-iy6ml]

I can't even do that. I'm so useless and lost when trying to do even basic things. I'd literally just be a detriment to helping others because I'm incompetent. I'm such garbage even other people won't want my help doing anything.

[@TLA123y6f]

@@SueDonim-iy6ml You poor thing! I wish I could give you a hug. Maybe volunteer at something you're interested in - I volunteered at the food bank when I retired - even if it's just for an hour. You will improve.

[@alicepirola7077]

Anxiety can totally feel like a prison cell. Some days I can fight my way through and some days hiding out wins. As long as we stay in the game of exposure therapy, as you say Dr., we will win out!

[@hashimawan2433]

I have severe Generalized anxiety disorder,and what he said is exactly what Anxiety is, it's like one has fear of almost everything,and in a negative situation the Heart beats so loud that one can hear it pumping in one's brain !

[@parizadirani3627]

What do you do when heart is thudding.....I go crazy ....

[@hashimawan2433]

@@parizadirani3627 I try to get inside an empty room or space and breathe again and again ,and try to think about something else.....

[@parizadirani3627]

@@hashimawan2433 God bless us all dear

[@Cass-d1e]

Mines a wired one. I grown to be afraid of everything outside my room. 1. Grew up facing a lot of racism in Australia back in 2002-2012. There has always been some form of racism I had to deal with growing up here so I became too afraid to go outside. 2. In 2012 to date - I out grown the racism and faced a new fear. The fear of hell. I don’t want to go outside, die and end up in hell. I’m very religious and it’s very close to my heart. But a lot of people I know outside my family aren’t religious and they do things that goes against my religion so I grew up being completely isolated. 3. Having parents who don’t do anything outside their own culture. This made things worse as growing up having parents who doesn’t want to blend in with the culture I grew up in, it’s difficult for me to see them as role models to follow. So I’m stuck in a world where I feel like I’m not a part of. With all this I formed an addiction to porn, which breaks me everyday. For years I been trying to fight this addiction! Yet it still beats me to this day and it’s because I’m too afraid to step outside! I finally have a partner and she’s a different culture to mine and my parents have a big problem with that. So I’m in a place where I’m scared to do anything. And I’m just angry about everything! 😢 I want to move out of my parents house (at 32 years of age) sad right? But the current financial crisis in Australia for home mortgages etc makes it next to impossible!

[@beckylipps7286]

This is SO me. It started at Ge 33, now I'm 75. Still have extreme anxiety, panic attacks, agoraphobia, the works. drs., therapists, medications, still stuck in this fractured world. It has taken my life over. It's miserable. After listening to you this morning, at least I don't feel so alone. Thanks.

[@missilovemyuke12]

Hello there I also have agoraphobia and anxiety

[@paulaevans2981]

Hello. I’m 71, and I totally understand how you feel. I listen to Dr Scott and he’s so encouraging. I wish I had found someone like him 50 years ago. Do you feel like it’s too late for you now? I feel as though why put in all the work at this age, when I’m at the end of my life. I hope you see this and reply.

[@MoonSpinners]

I’m agoraphobic and have awful anxiety too. You’re not alone

[@MoonSpinners]

@@paulaevans2981…it’s not too late, absolutely NEVER too late. You could live to 99, so you’ve got loads of years left.

[@paulaevans2981]

@@MoonSpinners Thanks.

[@carriehobbes2448]

Public speaking was terrifying. I found a way to just keep doing it - now I work part time as a trainer and have to speak in front of 150 people sometimes. LOTS of practice has helped! Amazed I could do it - but realising that now I have been shockingly brave doing it over and over when it felt like it would kill me 🙂 And now I’m the one in a zoom conference who can swoop in and fill an awkward silence and help the host and participants out if there’s a blip. Woah. Thank you Dr. Scott! I have so much negativity bias I didn’t realise until now HOW MUCH of an achievement it has been to overcome my fear of public speaking to some extent!

[@crystalsmith9038]

How did u do it?

[@a.k.3110]

Thank you for opening my eyes. I feel anxious most of the time and I don't allow it to shrink my world any further. I thought it must get better but my body is telling me it gets worse. Now I see, part of the Problem is, I overwhelm myself on a regular basis just to live my life, get stuff done and not inhibit my childs life. I kind of force myself to do the right, normal things but my body reacts with tension, cold hands, numbness, tightness in my chest and stomach and nightterrors. I have to do so many things that cause physical high stress to functional freeze or shutdown reactions to care for me and my child. I'm a single parenting mother. Often my body feels numb and I forget many things during intense times. Now before Christmas is such a time. Family's or friends meet and celebrate or struggels theyr way through Christmas traditions. I feel painful reminded that I feel very much alone and failed to provide a healthy enough family for my child who don't think twice to share his frustration with me and others. I feel blamed then and so lonely, left behind. My heart is aching these days. I try to bring myself in balance, to regulate my nervous system. These days the disregulation remains. I'm thankful that I'm noticing this and give my best to stay at my side with kindness. To offer myself compassion even if I don't have a blueprint for how to offer it to me... Thank you for your helpful videos

[@shirleyfrost9909]

And kindness to yourself. Dont forget this. 💜

[@imtired6104]

I do feel the immediate relief wash over me when I avoid what makes me anxious, but then I regret making the decision to avoid because I feel like people are judging me for being weak and irresponsible - like avoiding family get togethers or going to work. It's not much better if I do decide to go to work or see family either, it's like life is just miserable if I do or I don't and I am not sure how to reconcile that at all.

[@xxharuchan]

I completely and totally understand you! You are not alone. I avoid the same things. I became a substitute teacher’s aide so that I can choose work when i feel comfortable, but even then I still get overwhelmed and so anxious that I cancel. I have trouble holding down a real job. I also avoid friends and some family :/

[@xxharuchan]

I feel like people are judging me as well thinking I suck as a person. & you’re right even if i try, I still dont feel any better or think I couldve gone about my day not having to experience that. Dont know if im just a really introverted person or anxiety filled one

[@swayamsmita1519]

​@@xxharuchanomg same, I avoid meeting my bf's friends coz I feel they r way cooler than me and I feel they judge me for being quiet and boring. Apart from that other stuff, I force myself to do that even though I'm nervous but even though it goes well it doesn't make me feel better, I feel more anxious after that. I don't know wts the solution for that. I'm anxious both ways, it's soo horrible that I get a panic attack that makes me nausea and dizzy. I also feel very guilty when I avoid it and also keep thinking that people are judging me for missing opportunity.

[@SueDonim-iy6ml]

It is an amazing feeling not gonna lie. For me it started in high school with making up excuses to my mom to stay home because I had such paralyzing fear and anxiety about going to school where I was treated like garbage by almost everyone. My life ended in 10th grade basically. I died back then and only a shell of a person remains.

[@TLA123y6f]

@@SueDonim-iy6ml I understand how you feel

[@mmmitchell6887]

Yes! I do sit around and agony for days to psych myself up to get something done wow! it helps to know what the steps are for improvement and to recognize this experience is not limited to me.

[@lw679]

I've never heard anyone explain this type of exposure therapy before. Amazing

[@chrisannlittle]

I totally feel what you described constantly and end up in my room in my bed reading alone and just fine...but I should not be there!! I'm so paralyzed by fear and anxiety. Now I really understand it is NOT healthy to be in this bed relaxing. So I will practice your tips and stop being so reluctant to do what is best for me and get out in the world!!! Make money moves and crush the Boulder of fear anxiety!! SLAY!!

[@magnawaves]

I have never heard it spoken so perfectly before. Your initial definition or description of anxiety, man I had to stop was I was doing to listen, because I'd have bet money you had a camera on me for years. I work a night shift job, I do all my shopping as soon as the stores open, I'm horribly out of shape, I dread having people see me but I do nothing about it despite having the knowledge of how to fix it, because I've done it before, but I just can't muster the willpower anymore. I have a badass car, my dream car since I was four, but I botch driving it (it's manual transmission) because I'm so anxious about the process and about everyone around me looking at me, because the car gets a LOT of stares. I know this innately, exposing myself to something repeatedly makes me less anxious and far more comfortable with it, but after a few weeks if I haven't kept up with it I'm back to square one. It makes me so mad. I do the avoidance shit so damn often, and that hit of relief really is addictive. I crave it as much as I hate it. I hate how my life has ended up at 33, but I shudder to think how I'd be right now if I hadn't started to fix other aspects of my life at 30. I've completely ignored my health and I'm paying for it already, having old man issues, and I hate myself for it. I just needed to vent. This video hit me hard. I used to think, "Oh yeah I have a little anxiety but it's just my shyness." After living alone, and then isolating myself for the past 8 years I thought "hell yeah I'm good, I don't have to deal with people." It was an awful mistake. I regret it every day.

[@TLA123y6f]

You're so lucky. You've got so much time to improve where your head and life is at. I wish I would have had access to this information when I was 33. My life might have been different. Better. Hang in there! We're all struggling.

[@joeybassbass]

I think I was aware that avoidance was strengthening my anxiety. But the overwhelmed thing is a problem for me. I do the thing, it goes ok… but internally I’m losing my mind and the anxiety still compounds

[@TLA123y6f]

@user-zk5rt3gb3e Excellent analogy. Thank you. That helps.

[@lenas5613]

Thank you for your insight and guidance with this. I choose to avoid when , I can, but I have been going out getting to my med treatment 3x a week... traveling 15 miles each way. I'm still overwhelmed though, anxious and depressed. I'm 76. Getting up and out is torture. Hoping to get into the comfort zone bit bybit. 😊

[@HH-hm3qn]

This is f* brilliant. In all my years of performance anxiety, no one has ever told me about this form of progress through limited, gradual exposure. Thank you so much!

[@ralphnacino2236]

Dr. Scott. Thank you for sharing your gift and risking to sit with us in our darkest fears, you always know the topics i wanted to ask you. The world is much safer and livable with you and your gifts 💙💙💙💙💙

[@DrScottEilers]

I really appreciate that Ralph ❤️

[@Delete338]

By the grace of God, I found you. Dr. Scott you verbalize what has happened to me.

[@AmyInArizona]

Thank you Dr. Scott I needed to hear this. My psychologist isn’t as good as you. I suffer with agoraphobia and have for nine years and it’s getting really rough being imprisoned in my own home.

[@TLA123y6f]

@@DrScottEilers We all feel this way about you. You have been a godsend to me and others. Thank You for being you

[@ronmaxwell]

Dr. Scott, thank you for this. I often equate anxiety as a self perpetuating Möbius strip of doom! Anxiety + catastrophizing everything is the ultimate spiral downward.

[@QuietSpacePhotoStudioLLC]

I was afraid to fly until I experienced passive suicidal ideation, and then I didn't care. After I did it, it opened up a lot more opportunities for me to vacation and get away. Which in turn, helps with my depression.

[@pearlmoonoverwater]

Dr Scott is spot on. I have been using this technique since 2016 and am amazed at the things I am now able to do with ease, that in the past would cause me anxiety and procrastination. I went forward bit by bit and over time, I became much more confident. I sometimes dont recognize myself.

[@stevec404]

Safe? What's that? I have learned that the 'now' is safe, not the sorrows of the past, or the fears of the future. Gripped by fear since childhood, your assessment is very accurate. "Anxious mess forever...yeah, that's it..." It has been for me. I have been using some of these techniques almost daily. Will adopt the rest now. Thanks.

[@probablypoetic8759]

Thanks again, Dr. Scott. I've never had "panic attacks," but I've practiced avoidance for a lot of things in my life. I think I've made some progress with what you call exposure therapy. It has helped in some areas, but I have other areas I need to work on. Always a WIP. 🙂

[@zaynabharakeh6373]

Anxiety is destroying me. I can't have a proper job, a relationship, nothing.

[@MoonSpinners]

Same. I’m agoraphobic because of it.

[@arul15099]

😢

[@UniquelyCritical]

Magnesium Glycinate might help.

[@Foden5354]

View the anxiety feeling as no different to excitement, they are literally the same, but you channel it through a different perception and then that becomes your reality/experience, the feeling of anxiety is what your are afraid of, change how you see it and your anxiety will go away, the anxious feeling comes up in social situations, so you think its the situation that causes your anxiety, wrong, u subconsciously expect that emotion to come up, that's what your unconsciously afraid of and reacting to, the feeling of anxiety is the lion u r afraid of, chnage how you see it, see it as excitement

[@MoonSpinners]

@@Foden5354 ..that’s really good advice. The feelings are very similar, the difference is when I’m excited, I don’t try and stop it, I let it happen, but when I’m anxious, I get scared of being anxious 😬 it’s a vicious circle with nowhere to go, I’m learning that it’s trying to stop and get rid of my anxiety that’s causing the problem. I need to let it happen, but my goodness it’s hard. I’ve been doing it for so long it’s hard to change my thinking, but I’m trying 🤗

[@rajeshnvijo-dj7dk]

True 😊 Fear is real especially in old age

[@plutowolf1676]

I've never in my life had such fear since I turned 68.

[@johnwhite7320]

Scott, your lived experience and your articulation of it makes you super relatable. This video was right on. Thanks, peace.

[@mmmitchell6887]

This is exactly what I needed today! I’ve been avoiding so many things and try not to be triggered even Halloween even Thanksgiving. I just had so much anxiety about being around folks that I actually do care about. Thank you for posting this video. Thank you for being so open about your own challenges that validated all the more for me, because you share so much of your own personal story, I know that you understand and that you are speaking wisdom from experience with educational expertise!

[@Favorites0119]

Thank you for all you do. Overwhelmed and avoidances increase my anxiety so there’s that. Then put a limiting illness on top of that. I have fear. Doing what I want and doing what the illness needs then choosing to do what I want while caring this illness along with me (which means not self caring for the illness) rawr. I hope that makes since. So I isolate and feel disappointed and drained. Which leads to anxiety and fear of the world and my illness. Turning the anxiety into chronic PTSD. Rawr. But I’m ok. I am crawling my way out. Getting out of my head, separating my self from the anxiety, make a decision and just do what I need to do even though I’m scared even though I have no clue what I’m doing even though I don’t feel good. Just focus on the task and getting through and the good stuff does come after. After I do the work. This instant gratification thing is nothing more than an addiction robbing me of my true potential. Thanks for listening. Peace and calmness to you. I do the work and later in life I get the reward. I’m ok with that.

[@fredneedle123]

Yep. Avoiding people a lot for a long time.

[@markwalton3367]

I identified strongly with the content of this video. Public speaking is a great example. I only started to get control of my anxiety with public speaking when I convinced myself the message was way more important than the messenger. The message was far too important for me to allow my anxiety to get in the way. When I spoke, my focus was always on the importance of the message rather than how much my body was sweating.

[@KisaLavender]

This is something I am doing. I plan to travel be myself now that I am divorced but that is scary for me so I am starting out small with going to an early movie on my own or a local restaurant that’s not to busy. I plan to continue to push my comfort at my pace until I can travel on my own.

[@marinaalonso7315]

You make mental health problems a lot easier to deal with👍 thank you so much

[@TLA123y6f]

Dr Scott is our hero. he validates and gives us compassion. I actually feel SAFE. And fear and anxiety has ruled my world.

[@danieloleary1067]

Appointments do this to me..any appointment. The moment I make the appointment, the anxiety starts. If the appointment is weeks away it's there. The closer the date gets the more anxiety, stress fear , terror and insomnia I have. I identified will all the points you made. Even when I know the appointment is fir my benefit i still feel so overwhelmed. The night before the appointment is pure hell.i don't sleep at all. I'm 75 and I used to be fearless, now I fear everything.

[@TLA123y6f]

Fear is huge for me too. I'm 72. My whole life was a series of trauma's etc, one after another - through no fault of my own. Ended up with PTSD so I'm trying to work on that too. Appointments don't bother me unless it's a dentist or dr. What bothers me is being in my own head. I can hardly handle that. I'm barely able to put one foot in front of the other at this time in my life. Family has exploded. i feel so alone.

[@danieloleary1067]

@user-lf2lf6wy4z hello. Trauma has been a big part of my life too. I have CPTSD from a psychotic sadistic mother. My Dad had the Alzheimer gene and passed it to my brothers and sister. The result was early onset Alzheimers and they were dead by 52. Worse my older brother had 2 daughters and pass3the gene to them. I have a daughter but I can't pass on a gene I don't have. Loneliness, isolation and PSI(passive suicidal ideation) is an ignored epidemic among us retirees. Getting old is not your " Golden Years. "

[@jeremylittle1581]

This channel was just suggested in my feed recently, and I wish I had found it sooner. The tips and tricks are very helpful and laid out in layman's terms, which is appreciated. Thank you for this content.

[@TheIrishBosnian]

I love the simple and practical advice. Straight to the point. Cheers, man. 👍

[@cjnelson79]

I appreciate the fact that you truly get it and understand these anxieties first hand and have overcome them. Very valuable information and insight that is very helpful. Thank you.

[@cyndeeks]

Thanks! You speak with such clarity and humility. I appreciate your presentation of this difficult topic!❤

[@DrScottEilers]

Thank you so much!

[@MrReese]

I have been struggling with this for basically all of my life in different ways and stages. It has been so crippling and deprived me of so many things in life, I am so unbelievably sick of it. At times I have been successful in breaking out of it, I was able to achieve a lot, but something always comes along thst sucks me back in and it has been worse than ever in recent times. I just don't understand why I am this way, what led me to be this way even since I was a kid - being afraid of so many things, not daring to try lots of stuff, thinking I am not able to do things that seem nornal for many. It is so frustrating.

[@icyqueen8296]

I relate to this so much. It is incredibly frustrating.

[@a31142257]

I absolutely know how that feels.. It's all about slowly standing your ground and confronting what's supposedly trying to kill you. Don't let it steal your happiness nor your opportunities... Go there and slowly approach life in a way that allows you to gain confidence little by little and don't fear death nor panic attacks.. If they occur so be it! But you MUST do something about it otherwise you will be like this for the rest of your life. ❤

[@ImperfectStudyGeek]

What did occur to me years ago and from that I was pushed and forced to avoid social gatherings at work and in family settings. Anxieties, panic attacks and mental paralysis led me to these. I recovered slowly and optimistically with therapies.

[@Cerberus-bx7rx]

Your voice sounds very soft and gentle. I feel like a five year old being instructed by a kind teacher in the English class.

[@tracystreet8338]

Thank you Dr, great advice. I always say that anxious people are not weak, but very brave. God bless you all Amen 🙏 😊

[@cazzez1602]

Dr Scott..please never stop these videos..i feel like i can change my life thanks to you..have had anxiety and depression for years and never understood why i do certain behaviors..u make me understand..i keep refering back to certain videos when i get lost again...i would never have gone to my own Doctor and things had got bad,,im 48 and you are my hero..thank you so much..,,most of your vidoes i feel you are talking directly to me,,,thank you from Cornwall England

[@HarriedPedestrian]

I knew all this, but you’ve put in words that actually reached me and could potentially become actionable steps. Thank you.

[@peanut3438]

Ditto this! I feel like I can apply this to something I’m nervous about!

[@SharDances]

Finally! Someone who truly knows how it is like living with anxiety!! This completely resonates with me! Thank you so much. You're a blessing! 🙌

[@OscarDeLaYenta]

I am a psychiatrist and anxiety is actually often quite result of a fear that our unconscious rage is bubbling to our consciousness and we won’t have control over our destructive impulses

[@GA-if6qf]

Your videos are so very helpful--please do not underestimate their worth.

[@Yolduranduran]

I am having a Christmas party at my house this Saturday. I am feeling anxious about and wandering why i decided to do this. I know that we need this. This past year was terrible. We lost a few family members. We need to have family gatherings that dont involve death. It will be nice to gather the family and enjoy each others company. 😊

[@goych]

I don’t think we need to do anything, especially things we don’t want to. Can you identify the need for the need? Can it be ok to not see family? Or maybe it is more that you can’t be yourself in front of family. Can it be ok for you to just be anxious in front of family?

[@MeAnINFP]

This guy knows what’s he talking about - the being overwhelmed part omg

[@abdulmateen461]

I was very confident guy in my college when I turned 18…I loved a girl but I had no friends… I was warned by a gang not to meet that girl or they would kill me because their boss liked her.. I met her again and a group of 50 guys beat me up even though I tried fighting back but it was too much and they had guns too… I was forced to leave my city, Since then I never liked doing anything from heart…. The fact that I couldn’t save the girl I loved from those monsters haunted me every day and it still does…Thoughts of revenge have eaten me up… I was humiliated badly…I couldn’t get her contact in time before leaving… This event hurt my confidence really bad… Im 30 today and run my own business now… But the thoughts of that event haunt me and all I want is revenge on that gang’s boss…

[@MimiBigCat]

Dr. Scott, you are genuine and natural and good at presenting yourself well and helping others, God bless 💗

[@takeuchi5760]

Also, one thing that helps is not blaming yourself for feeling anxiety, like "if only you were more courageous". No! That's a very incorrect way to think about how our personalities work. You have some agency, but a large part of it is your environment and your upbringing, analyse these two and you'll understand why you are the way you are, and why blaming yourself doesn't make sense even if it feels like it's your fault.

[@candycewindels1337]

Just stumbled across your channel. I find it awesome that a mental health professional has a history of experiencing what his patients experience. While I'm so sorry you have to deal with it, it is an invaluable tool for you as a doc to be able to understand what your patients are feeling and thinking. It's just not something you find often. I'd be curious to see videos on ptsd and panic disorder. I was diagnosed with both back in 2006 after a bad accident and my life basically fell apart.

[@danilopacudanjr7166]

Avoidance neither being Overwhlem in the awkward situation is a Loose and Loose situation. Exposure Therapy helps us being immune little by little. Thankyou very much sir for this GEM 💎 information.

[@mariaelenaslatter1270]

I found you today and I like your channel. I am the overwhelmed kind. I take care of almost everything at home. I’m pretty independent, fit, but living with a narcissistic with beginning dementia man has almost destroy me. I’m over 70 and yes, I want to hear you more talking about overwhelming. Yes my anxiety is almost is a fight and flight most of the time, so I exercise often and breath. I still think I nearly touch my anxiety level. I hope I can find some more good advice with you. Thank you.

[@BreeMorgan43]

This hit the nail on the head. My sisters just want to be in my life. I avoid and get overwhelmed easily. I can't relax. I used to use alcohol to get over this. It helped a bit. But I stopped drinking in 2020. Im going to really work on this.

[@TLA123y6f]

You're so lucky to have family

[@KF-cx8bm]

In my 43 years of feeling anxious and depressed you are the only person that has explained everything in a way i can understand and given the tools to help heal. You are an absolout gift and a blessing to offer your knowledge for free, you must have helped thousands to cope better. thank you x

[@Freeridin07]

Keep in mind, progress in this is almost never consistent/steady. It can be a wild up/down cycle where it gets better...then worse....then better.....then worse than before....then better, etc. So when you fall back into anxiety, you've got to keep going even a little because you need to build confidence with the downfalls or "relapses" also.

[@Mietzscheh]

Great video Dr. Scott. Could you make a video about anxiety coping skills? Thanks! So happy you're getting more exposure.

[@susanverhoeven4962]

This episode is talking to me and directing me in the direction I need to go. Thank you so much.

[@Darksoulsnoob]

Dr Scott you’ve done it again! Somehow managed to articulate everything that happens in my brain when I talk myself out of something that triggers my anxiety. I had never considered before that that rush of relief after dodging something actually reinforces our anxiety and shoots us in the foot! Thank you so much for this, this is something I really needed to hear and I will definitely be giving the gradual exposure strategy a go!

[@beverlymiller3215]

You are really helping people like me to know that we aren't alone with this. Thank you so much.

[@peanut3438]

Thanks for explaining how the small steps work! You solved a question of mine, basically that “if jumping straight in feels terrible but not doing so just reinforces the fear, how do I make progress” question with the comfort and overwhelming zones. Thank you for recording and sharing this video!

[@1592sandra]

Thank you. . Sometimes just going shopping, to a nearby shop, a planned show, on a tram or train can be so overwhelming tjat I will avoid it and do without what I needed to buy meaning no food, cigarettes or whatever! 😢 its like punishing myself! I hate it! but cannot stop it!😢😢

[@karenr411]

I do the same thing. As a matter of fact I have no food in the house right now except a few boxes of crackers and some cheese. I must push myself past the discomfort or "embrace the suck" to grow past this. I hope you can push through as well ❤❤❤ p.s. I have cats and they eat much better than I do thanks to Amazon ❤😂 😂😂😂

[@1592sandra]

@@karenr411 Oh wow, was feeling as if I was only one who did this, so sorry you do it too💜 ...and yes my cat is well fed too😉(amazon is my pal too) Its as if I am on a different wavelength, I really do care but not really believing it...aaaargh! Hard to explain... Hopefully we can push through and find some relief...good wishes to you and love to you and cats.💜x

[@MrEpsilonZero]

I am sorry you struggle so much. Your anxiety is stronger than your addiction... on a bright side you will smoke less...

[@kj4242]

This guy is great. I am glad he has communicated his insights to the world.

[@ChrisPosterpodcast]

It’s insane how much we change over time it’s mind blowing to people how I can jump on stage an play music in front of any crowd but talk to girl I like or get myself to go out nnnooppppeee

[@Jenna1_2_3]

I've been struggling with worsening anxiety, and I find myself isolating in a small room. The thought of meeting new people and even simple tasks feels overwhelming. I want to live more freely, but I feel trapped and scared to face the outside world.

[@Carmina2005]

I've watched so much content on psychology, and your channel really stands out. Improving mental health issues needs both mental and practical work, and usually content is about one or the other and ends up being either like a lecture, or "to-do" lists along the lines of new age "spirituality" or coaching (I don't know if that makes sense, I mean it's either like "Think this way" or "do yoga and meditation and a whole new world will reveal itself to you" and motivational wishy washy stuff that lack substance and empathy). But somehow you give perspectives that combine academic knowledge easy to understand and practical advice simple to follow, which really motivates the viewer to do the mental work as well. (Take it from someone who is both a mental health professional and has had their fair share of mental health issues.) Congratulations for your accomplishments and all that you do, and thank you.

[@KerstinStrecke]

Nobody has ever told me that overwhelming situations strenghthen anxiety too. That puts me in the middle and I already feel like trying something ... thank you so much!

[@QuietSpacePhotoStudioLLC]

I've got another one! I was afraid to be in big crowds, and I've been wanting to go to a specific concert for about 5 years. my sister understood my anxiety and panic. So we planned it together. Along the way, she kept asking me if I was okay and if I needed anything. she just checked on me, which helped so much! So if you can find someone to do things with that understands you, it really helps.

[@roseyc.5846]

I have no one. 😞

[@ruthmarland835]

That’s what helped me most of my life. However now @ 60 u lost my two sisters to early dementia and they passed away . I live with my 42 year old son who has social anxiety and now health problems. So without my family and 1 close friend I’m a “shut in” again. I’m so sick of this “feeling in my head”. I realize I must force myself to do things that put me in this situation. That’s why I never did it alone. I’m alone with adult son who can’t or won’t choose to try change.❤️🙏😳

[@JolinHard]

Ive been researching social anxiety for over 10 years and this is the first time im hearing this type of advice. Thank you so much

[@karenohanlon4183]

I changed what I eat. I severely restricted high processed food. I started keto foods including butter meats eggs. And that made all the difference Sleep improved overthinking improved. Gradually I started meditation just 5 or 10 mins per day Tobacco and alcohol are not your friends. Then because I was not relying on sugary foods to make me feel good. I fasted. Then pick something that you liked before anxiety took over. Start trying it again It works little by little you trust your inate wisdom and you can deal better with anxiety provoking situations.

[@luvwings]

Keto can mess with your sleep. Be careful

[@marianavermaak4120]

Dr Scott, can we have a session on the coping skills and mechanisms to deal with extreme stress in work environment. This is devastating to me in my current position. Would really appreciate any input you can provide. It is delibitating and devastating my life at this point.

[@michelleboles923]

Thank you so much for your videos. You have such a great way of explaining things. Your personal examples create trust in the listener and give a sense of hope.

[@Pawslifewithxiao]

I always afraid of everything: driving, finding job, telling others my feeling..... Afraid and avoid them, even worse than before. When I'm about to graduate last year, mother diagnosed with cancer, I'm really scared, I can't go to work because she need to go for therapy. I always go to hospital with mom, my relatives criticized me, and that time my heart is really weak because just get informed that my mom need to go to hospital. I'm not mature enough, and my mind full of hate. Feb to March need to bring mom to hospital, really scared to drive but I did it, drive about 1-2hours to hospital and 1-2hours back to home. May-June got a job. July until now doing nothing. It's time to let go and find a job. Now trying to find a new job also hard for me...but I'll try, hope I'll be better, someone can bless me?❤🙏

[@thetruth2230]

As a child of a mother with agoraphobia, I learned (A)that the world is scary and (B)that if you let your fear take the lead you’re going to miss out on a lot. My mother couldn’t even make a trip to the grocery store 5 blocks away when I was growing up. I didn’t understand what her problem was until I was a teenager and experienced my first unexplained panic attack that hit me out of the blue. Still to this day I experience these attacks, often when I’m driving, and yea it’s scary. But when I was a teen I vowed that I would not allow my anxiety and fear hold me back. I missed out on a lot growing up because of my mother’s mental illness and I didn’t want that life. I just allow myself to experience the panic attack because I never know when it’s going to happen. Most days I’m fine and then other days not so much, but it has become easier to deal with. I’ve learned how to cope with it and I know it’s usually temporary. I definitely think it is hormonal related because now in my mid 40’s there has been an increase in anxiety/panic attacks just as when I was a teen. But I will survive this. 💪

[@TLA123y6f]

You are very strong. I admire you. As far as your mother - people do not understand what it's like to deal with something that debilitating - unless they've "been there"